No evil can happen to a good man.

Bullwinkle: You just leave that to my pal. He's the brains of the outfit. General: What does that make YOU? Bullwinkle: What else? An executive.

Receiving a million dollars tax free will make you feel better than being flat broke and having a stomach ache.

Fear is the greatest salesman.

The `loner' may be respected, but he is always resented by his colleagues, for he seems to be passing a critical judgment on them, when he may be simply making a limiting statement about himself.

Sho' they got to have it against the law. Shoot, ever'body git high, they wouldn't be nobody git up and feed the chickens. Hee-hee.

What we need in this country, instead of Daylight Savings Time, which nobody really understands anyway, is a new concept called Weekday Morning Time, whereby at 7 a.m. every weekday we go into a space-launch-style "hold" for two to three hours, durin

Sometimes a man who deserves to be looked down upon because he is a fool is despised only because he is a lawyer.

If we spoke a different language, we would perceive a somewhat different world.

It looks like it's up to me to save our skins. Get into that garbage chute, flyboy!

Money can't buy happiness, but it can make you awfully comfortable while you're being miserable.

Imagine what we can imagine!

With Congress, every time they make a joke it's a law; and every time they make a law it's a joke.

It is wise to keep in mind that neither success nor failure is ever final.

The meek shall inherit the earth, but *not* its mineral rights.

You're all clear now, kid. Now blow this thing so we can all go home.

In charity there is no excess.

Term, holidays, term, holidays, till we leave school, and then work, work, work till we die.

We all live in a state of ambitious poverty.

The chief danger in life is that you may take too many precautions.

Certainly the game is rigged. Don't let that stop you; if you don't bet, you can't win.

It is only by risking our persons from one hour to another that we live at all. And often enough our faith beforehand in an uncertified result is the only thing that makes the result come true.

I remember when legal used to mean lawful, now it means some kind of loophole.

A man is known by the company he organizes.

An older student came to Otis and said, "I have been to see a great number of teachers and I have given up a great number of pleasures. I have fasted, been celibate and stayed awake nights seeking enlightenment. I have given up everything I was aske

I'd be a poorer man if I'd never seen an eagle fly.

I have ways of making money that you know nothing of.

A commune is where people join together to share their lack of wealth.

VII. Certain bodies can pass through solid walls painted to resemble tunnel entrances; others cannot. This trompe l'oeil inconsistency has baffled generations, but at least it is known that whoever paints an entrance on a wall's surface to

Wishing without work is like fishing without bait.

I wish there was a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence. There's a knob called "brightness", but it doesn't seem to work.