What!? Me worry?

[Maturity consists in the discovery that] there comes a critical moment where everything is reversed, after which the point becomes to understand more and more that there is something which cannot be understood.

With her body, woman is more sincere than man; but with her mind she lies. And when she lies, she does not believe herself.

What excuses stand in your way? How can you eliminate them?

In a hierarchy every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence ... in time every post tends to be occupied by an employee who is incompetent to carry out its duties ... Work is accomplished by those employees who have not yet reached their

The most delightful day after the one on which you buy a cottage in the country is the one on which you resell it.

Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it.

Every man thinks God is on his side. The rich and powerful know that he is.

"Well," Brahma said, "even after ten thousand explanations, a fool is no wiser, but an intelligent man requires only two thousand five hundred."

The shortest distance between two points is under construction.

You are never given a wish without also being given the power to make it true. You may have to work for it, however.

All of the true things I am about to tell you are shameless lies.

God help those who do not help themselves.

Between 1950 and 1952, a bored weatherman, stationed north of Hudson Bay, left a monument that neither government nor time can eradicate. Using a bulldozer abandoned by the Air Force, he spent two years and great effort pushing boulders into a single

Someday we'll look back on this moment and plow into a parked car.

What you want, what you're hanging around in the world waiting for, is for something to occur to you.

Optimism is the content of small men in high places.

Then, gently touching my face, she hesitated for a moment as her incredible eyes poured forth into mine love, joy, pain, tragedy, acceptance, and peace. "'Bye for now," she said warmly.

All the big corporations depreciate their possessions, and you can, too, provided you use them for business purposes. For example, if you subscribe to the Wall Street Journal, a business-related newspaper, you can deduct the cost of your house, beca

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.

A little inaccuracy saves a world of explanation.

A memorandum is written not to inform the reader, but to protect the writer.

"Hi, I'm Preston A. Mantis, president of Consumers Retail Law Outlet. As you can see by my suit and the fact that I have all these books of equal height on the shelves behind me, I am a trained legal attorney. Do you have a car or a job? Do you ever

Leave no stone unturned.

A violent man will die a violent death.

Of all possible committee reactions to any given agenda item, the reaction that will occur is the one which will liberate the greatest amount of hot air.

"MOKE DAT YIGARETTE"

A woman takes off her claim to respect along with her garments.

Fortune Documents the Great Legal Decisions: We think that we may take judicial notice of the fact that the term "bitch" may imply some feeling of endearment when applied to a female of the canine species but that it is seldom, if ever, so used whe

The whole world is a scab. The point is to pick it constructively.

A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on.

Term, holidays, term, holidays, till we leave school, and then work, work, work till we die.

Some men are heterosexual, and some are bisexual, and some men don't think about sex at all... they become lawyers.

"What's the use of a good quotation if you can't change it?"

Innovation is hard to schedule.

The intelligence of any discussion diminishes with the square of the number of participants.

Think sideways!

There is no cure for birth and death other than to enjoy the interval.

Luck, that's when preparation and opportunity meet.

Facts, apart from their relationships, are like labels on empty bottles.

Live within your income, even if you have to borrow to do so.

"Hey, Sam, how about a loan?" "Whattaya need?" "Oh, about $500." "Whattaya got for collateral?" "Whattaya need?" "How about an eye?"

Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.

The lawgiver, of all beings, most owes the law allegiance. He of all men should behave as though the law compelled him. But it is the universal weakness of mankind that what we are given to administer we presently imagine we own.

The first rule of all intelligent tinkering is to keep all the parts.

Happiness isn't something you experience; it's something you remember.

Here's to women. Would that we could fall into her arms without falling into her hands.

When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.

"You mean, if you allow the master to be uncivil, to treat you any old way he likes, and to insult your dignity, then he may deem you fit to hear his view of things?" "Quite the contrary. You must defend your integrity, assuming you have integrit

With all the talent around, it's sort of amazing that a woman could be up here with us.

The future not being born, my friend, we will abstain from baptizing it.