Home is where the hurt is.

Ben, why didn't you tell me?

They will only cause the lower classes to move about needlessly.

Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition.

Solipsists of the World... you are already united.

"California is proud to be the home of the freeway."

Nobody can be exactly like me. Sometimes even I have trouble doing it.

What you don't know won't help you much either.

were found to be wearing neckwear that was tighter than their neck circumference. The visual discrimination of the 22 subjects was evaluated using a critical flicker frequency (CFF) test. Results of the CFF test indicated that tight neckwear signifi

We should be glad we're living in the time that we are. If any of us had been born into a more enlightened age, I'm sure we would have immediately been taken out and shot.

If we suffer tamely a lawless attack upon our liberty, we encourage it, and involve others in our doom.

Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.

The abuse of greatness is when it disjoins remorse from power.

A place for everything and everything in its place.

The notes blatted skyward as they rose over the Canada geese, feathered rumps mooning the day, webbed appendages frantically pedaling unseen bicycles in their search for sustenance, driven by cruel Nature's maxim, 'Ya wanna eat, ya gotta work,' and a

An actor's a guy who if you ain't talkin' about him, ain't listening.

That Xanthippe's husband should have become so great a philosopher is remarkable. Amid all the scolding, to be able to think! But he could not write: that was impossible. Socrates has not left us a single book.

I would like the government to do all it can to mitigate, then, in understanding, in mutuality of interest, in concern for the common good, our tasks will be solved.

Even God cannot change the past.

Long ago I proposed that unsuccessful candidates for the Presidency be quietly hanged, as a matter of public sanitation and decorum. The sight of their grief must have a very evil effect upon the young.

Too many people are thinking of security instead of opportunity. They seem more afraid of life than death.

A priest asked: What is Fate, Master? And the Master answered: It is that which gives a beast of burden its reason for existence. It is that which men in former times had to bear upon their backs. It is that which has caused nations to build bywa

Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid.

I think the world is run by C students.

Imitation is the sincerest form of television.

There is nothing wrong with Southern California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn't cure.

You can get much further with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.

Kindness is a language which the deaf can hear and the blind can read.

The trouble with superheros is what to do between phone booths.

For myself, I can only say that I am astonished and somewhat terrified at the results of this evening's experiments. Astonished at the wonderful power you have developed, and terrified at the thought that so much hideous and bad music may be put on

Wishing without work is like fishing without bait.

During almost fifteen centuries the legal establishment of Christianity has been upon trial. What has been its fruits? More or less, in all places, pride and indolence in the clergy; ignorance and servility in the laity,; in both, superstition, bigo

God shows his contempt for wealth by the kind of person he selects to receive it.

Whatever is not nailed down is mine. Whatever I can pry up is not nailed down.

Divorce is a game played by lawyers.

What one believes to be true either is true or becomes true.

... Our second completely true news item was sent to me by Mr. H. Boyce Connell Jr. of Atlanta, Ga., where he is involved in a law firm. One thing I like about the South is, folks there care about tradition. If somebody gets handed a name like "H.

If you know the answer to a question, don't ask.

An aphorism is never exactly true; it is either a half-truth or one-and-a-half truths.

An honest tale speeds best being plainly told.

I played lead guitar in a band called The Federal Duck, which is the kind of name that was popular in the '60s as a result of controlled substances being in widespread use. Back then, there were no restrictions, in terms of talent, on who could make

Remembering is for those who have forgotten.

An atom-blaster is a good weapon, but it can point both ways.

Mind! I don't mean to say that I know, of my own knowledge, what there is particularly dead about a door-nail. I might have been inclined, myself, to regard a coffin-nail as the deadest piece of ironmongery in the trade. But the wisdom of our ances

The [Ford Foundation] is a large body of money completely surrounded by people who want some.

It is easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them.

Just once I would like to persuade the audience not to wear any article of blue denim. If only they could see themselves in a pair of brown corduroys like mine instead of this awful, boring blue denim. I don't enjoy the sky or sea as much as I used

The great nations have always acted like gangsters and the small nations like prostitutes.

Be careful of reading health books, you might die of a misprint.

If it takes a bloodbath, lets get it over with. No more appeasement.

Go to the Scriptures... the joyful promises it contains will be a balsam to all your troubles.

I value kindness to human beings first of all, and kindness to animals. I don't respect the law; I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger, the food cheaper, and old men