I know not how I came into this, shall I call it a dying life or a living death?

Mother is far too clever to understand anything she does not like.

A snake lurks in the grass.

One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.

If the English language made any sense, lackadaisical would have something to do with a shortage of flowers.

"Die? I should say not, dear fellow. No Barrymore would allow such a conventional thing to happen to him."

You can no more win a war than you can win an earthquake.

Seize the day, put no trust in the morrow!

At ebb tide I wrote a line upon the sand, and gave it all my heart and all my soul. At flood tide I returned to read what I had inscribed and found my ignorance upon the shore.

Try not to have a good time ... This is supposed to be educational.

Ed Sullivan will be around as long as someone else has talent.

The adjective is the banana peel of the parts of speech.

Prediction is very difficult, especially of the future.

Mind! I don't mean to say that I know, of my own knowledge, what there is particularly dead about a door-nail. I might have been inclined, myself, to regard a coffin-nail as the deadest piece of ironmongery in the trade. But the wisdom of our ances

Why does a hearse horse snicker, hauling a lawyer away?

The tree in which the sap is stagnant remains fruitless.

By working faithfully eight hours a day, you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve.

Neckties strangle clear thinking.

The Hollywood tradition I like best is called "sucking up to the stars."

All generalizations are false, including this one.

The profession of book writing makes horse racing seem like a solid, stable business.

A fool's brain digests philosophy into folly, science into superstition, and art into pedantry. Hence University education.

When I was in school, I cheated on my metaphysics exam: I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.

If I had a plantation in Georgia and a home in Hell, I'd sell the plantation and go home.

If a man stay away from his wife for seven years, the law presumes the separation to have killed him; yet according to our daily experience, it might well prolong his life.

He that breaks a thing to find out what it is has left the path of wisdom.

The Law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich, as well as the poor, to sleep under the bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread.

Do not use that foreign word "ideals". We have that excellent native word "lies".