I've got all the money I'll ever need if I die by 4 o'clock.

A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds.

Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig.

Ignorance is the Mother of Devotion.

Fourteen years in the professor dodge has taught me that one can argue ingeniously on behalf of any theory, applied to any piece of literature. This is rarely harmful, because normally no-one reads such essays.

We are not a loved organization, but we are a respected one.

A little inaccuracy saves a world of explanation.

Jesus may love you, but I think you're garbage wrapped in skin.

In the olden days in England, you could be hung for stealing a sheep or a loaf of bread. However, if a sheep stole a loaf of bread and gave it to you, you would only be tried for receiving, a crime punishable by forty lashes with the cat or the dog,

He that composes himself is wiser than he that composes a book.

If a jury in a criminal trial stays out for more than twenty-four hours, it is certain to vote acquittal, save in those instances where it votes guilty.

Pereant, inquit, qui ante nos nostra dixerunt. [Confound those who have said our remarks before us.] or [May they perish who have expressed our bright ideas before us.]

Well, the handwriting is on the floor.

It is wise to keep in mind that neither success nor failure is ever final.

You have all eternity to be cautious in when you're dead.

It is not doing the thing we like to do, but liking the thing we have to do, that makes life blessed.

Absolutum obsoletum. (If it works, it's out of date.)

Since everything in life is but an experience perfect in being what it is, having nothing to do with good or bad, acceptance or rejection, one may well burst out in laughter.

Do you know the difference between education and experience? Education is what you get when you read the fine print; experience is what you get when you don't.

An idea is an eye given by God for the seeing of God. Some of these eyes we cannot bear to look out of, we blind them as quickly as possible.

In spite of everything, I still believe that people are good at heart.

There is a secret person undamaged within every individual.

Crito, I owe a cock to Asclepius; will you remember to pay the debt?

Briefly stated, the findings are that when presented with an array of data or a sequence of events in which they are instructed to discover an underlying order, subjects show strong tendencies to perceive order and causality in random arrays, to perc

If a guru falls in the forest with no one to hear him, was he really a guru at all?

Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing at the moment.

[He] took me into his library and showed me his books, of which he had a complete set.

If the colleges were better, if they really had it, you would need to get the police at the gates to keep order in the inrushing multitude. See in college how we thwart the natural love of learning by leaving the natural method of teaching what each