Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them. There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.

Don't everyone thank me at once!

"Hey, Sam, how about a loan?" "Whattaya need?" "Oh, about $500." "Whattaya got for collateral?" "Whattaya need?" "How about an eye?"

"If once a man indulges himself in murder, very soon he comes to think little of robbing; and from robbing he next comes to drinking and Sabbath-breaking, and from that to incivility and procrastination."

What does not destroy me, makes me stronger.

All hope abandon, ye who enter here!

I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.

Given a choice between grief and nothing, I'd choose grief.

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve immortality through not dying.

"I don't mind going nowhere as long as it's an interesting path."

A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats.

Superstition, idolatry, and hypocrisy have ample wages, but truth goes a-begging.

Life being what it is, one dreams of revenge.

There seems no plan because it is all plan.

Why be a man when you can be a success?

The ripest fruit falls first.

Necessity has no law.

If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?

When you are about to die, a wombat is better than no company at all.

Art is a jealous mistress.

Time is but the stream I go a-fishing in.

We are not a loved organization, but we are a respected one.

An honest tale speeds best being plainly told.

Life is like a 10 speed bicycle. Most of us have gears we never use.

"You little (such a one who, while wearing a copper nose ring, stands in a footbath atop Mount Raruaruaha during a heavy thunderstorm and shouts that Alohura, Goddess of Lightning, has the facial features of a diseased uloruaha root)!"

It has been said [by Anatole France], "it is not by amusing oneself that one learns," and, in reply: "it is *____only* by amusing oneself that one can learn."

Let's say your wedding ring falls into your toaster, and when you stick your hand in to retrieve it, you suffer Pain and Suffering as well as Mental Anguish. You would sue: * The toaster manufacturer, for failure to include, in the instructions

It is a wise father that knows his own child.