There is no fool to the old fool.

Go away, I'm all right.

We're constantly being bombarded by insulting and humiliating music, which people are making for you the way they make those Wonder Bread products. Just as food can be bad for your system, music can be bad for your spirtual and emotional feelings. I

Love may laugh at locksmiths, but he has a profound respect for money bags.

In a hierarchy every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence ... in time every post tends to be occupied by an employee who is incompetent to carry out its duties ... Work is accomplished by those employees who have not yet reached their

Aim for the moon. If you miss, you may hit a star.

The human brain is a wonderful thing. It starts working the moment you are born, and never stops until you stand up to speak in public.

"Why are we importing all these highbrow plays like `Amadeus'? I could have told you Mozart was a jerk for nothing."

It is only the man whose intellect is clouded by his sexual impulse that could give the name of the fair sex to that undersized, narrow-shouldered, broad-hipped, and short-legged race.

From the cradle to the coffin underwear comes first.

Would it help if I got out and pushed?

The optimist thinks that this is the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist knows it.

Who dat who say "who dat" when I say "who dat"?

Whatever occurs from love is always beyond good and evil.

It is better to live rich than to die rich.

There are three reasons for becoming a writer: the first is that you need the money; the second that you have something to say that you think the world should know; the third is that you can't think what to do with the long winter evenings.

Advertising is the rattling of a stick inside a swill bucket.

We're all in this alone.

Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years.

When you are at Rome live in the Roman style; when you are elsewhere live as they live elsewhere.

There is no doubt that my lawyer is honest. For example, when he filed his income tax return last year, he declared half of his salary as 'unearned income.'

Imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality.

Dying is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down.

British education is probably the best in the world, if you can survive it. If you can't there is nothing left for you but the diplomatic corps.

CF&C stole it, fair and square.

A university is what a college becomes when the faculty loses interest in students.

There is always something new out of Africa.

The root of all superstition is that men observe when a thing hits, but not when it misses.