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She cried, and the judge wiped her tears with my checkbook.

Shakespear William


He who laughs has not yet heard the bad news.

Shakespear William


Sho' they got to have it against the law. Shoot, ever'body git high, they wouldn't be nobody git up and feed the chickens. Hee-hee.

Shakespear William


In the olden days in England, you could be hung for stealing a sheep or a loaf of bread. However, if a sheep stole a loaf of bread and gave it to you, you would only be tried for receiving, a crime punishable by forty lashes with the cat or the dog,

Shakespear William


Instead of giving money to found colleges to promote learning, why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as good as the Prohibition one did, why, in five years we would have the smartest r

Shakespear William


A man said to the Universe: "Sir, I exist!" "However," replied the Universe, "the fact has not created in me a sense of obligation."

Shakespeare William


Housework can kill you if done right.

Shakespeare William


Everything takes longer, costs more, and is less useful.

Shakespeare William


If I had a formula for bypassing trouble, I would not pass it around. Trouble creates a capacity to handle it. I don't say embrace trouble; that's as bad as treating it as an enemy. But I do say meet it as a friend, for you'll see a lot of it and y

Shakespeare William


I'm glad I was not born before tea.

Shakespeare William


I went into a bar feeling a little depressed, the bartender said, "What'll you have, Bud"? I said," I don't know, surprise me". So he showed me a nude picture of my wife.

Shakespeare William


We have art that we do not die of the truth.

Shakespeare William


Don't go to bed with no price on your head.

Shakespeare William


"Hey, Sam, how about a loan?" "Whattaya need?" "Oh, about $500." "Whattaya got for collateral?" "Whattaya need?" "How about an eye?"

Shakespeare William


Brahma said: Well, after hearing ten thousand explanations, a fool is no wiser. But an intelligent man needs only two thousand five hundred.

Shakespeare William


"Whom are you?" said he, for he had been to night school.

Shakespeare William


Three o'clock in the afternoon is always just a little too late or a little too early for anything you want to do.

Shakespeare William


In "King Henry VI, Part II," Shakespeare has Dick Butcher suggest to his fellow anti-establishment rabble-rousers, "The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers." That action may be extreme but a similar sentiment was expressed by Thomas K. Co

Shakespeare William


Small is beautiful.

Shakespeare William


There is more to life than increasing its speed.

Shakespeare William


It doesn't matter whether you win or lose

Shakespeare William


What one fool can do, another can.

Shakespeare William


"Well, it's garish, ugly, and derelicts have used it for a toilet. The rides are dilapidated to the point of being lethal, and could easily maim or kill innocent little children." "Oh, so you don't like it?" "Don't like it? I'm CRAZY for it."

Shakespeare William


One picture is worth more than ten thousand words.

William Shakespeare


Maternity pay? Now every Tom, Dick and Harry will get pregnant.

William Shakespeare


I was part of that strange race of people aptly described as spending their lives doing things they detest to make money they don't want to buy things they don't need to impress people they dislike.

William Shakespeare


"Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away".

William Shakespeare


A word to the wise is enough.

William Shakespeare





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You can build a throne out of bayonets, but you can't sit on it for very long.
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deep thoughts of brillyant genius of human history
Shakespear William
 
 
 
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