Never have so many understood so little about so much.

It is bad luck to be superstitious.

That Xanthippe's husband should have become so great a philosopher is remarkable. Amid all the scolding, to be able to think! But he could not write: that was impossible. Socrates has not left us a single book.

There has been a little distress selling on the stock exchange.

Objectivity is to a newspaper what virtue is to a woman.

"Whom are you?" said he, for he had been to night school.

I will make you shorter by the head.

The greatest griefs are those we cause ourselves.

If the colleges were better, if they really had it, you would need to get the police at the gates to keep order in the inrushing multitude. See in college how we thwart the natural love of learning by leaving the natural method of teaching what each

Where it is a duty to worship the sun it is pretty sure to be a crime to examine the laws of heat.

Sometimes even to live is an act of courage.

The more the merrier.

In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes.

No small art is it to sleep: it is necessary for that purpose to keep awake all day.

Education is what survives when what has been learnt has been forgotten.

Where do I find the time for not reading so many books?

Snakes. Why did it have to be snakes?

With her body, woman is more sincere than man; but with her mind she lies. And when she lies, she does not believe herself.

"No job too big; no fee too big!"

No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.

The optimist thinks that this is the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist knows it.

I need another lawyer like I need another hole in my head.

Once there lived a village of creatures along the bottom of a great crystal river. Each creature in its own manner clung tightly to the twigs and rocks of the river bottom, for clinging was their way of life, and resisting the current what each had

In charity there is no excess.

The human brain is a wonderful thing. It starts working the moment you are born, and never stops until you stand up to speak in public.

... a thing called Ethics, whose nature was confusing but if you had it you were a High-Class Realtor and if you hadn't you were a shyster, a piker and a fly-by-night. These virtues awakened Confidence and enabled you to handle Bigger Propositions.

If you want to know what god thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.

With women, I've got a long bamboo pole with a leather loop on the end of it. I slip the loop around their necks so they can't get away or come too close. Like catching snakes.