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I'm going to raise an issue and stick it in your ear.

Shakespeare


Maternity pay? Now every Tom, Dick and Harry will get pregnant.

Shakespeare


"There was an interesting development in the CBS-Westmoreland trial: both sides agreed that after the trial, Andy Rooney would be allowed to talk to the jury for three minutes about little things that annoyed him during the trial."

Shakespeare


The life which is unexamined is not worth living.

Shakespeare


Don't everyone thank me at once!

Shakespeare


The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence.

Shakespeare


Life is one long struggle in the dark.

Shakespeare William


From the cradle to the coffin underwear comes first.

Shakespeare Wm.


The closest to perfection a person ever comes is when he fills out a job application form.

Shakespeare Wm.


Advertising is the rattling of a stick inside a swill bucket.

Shakespeare


A wise person makes his own decisions, a weak one obeys public opinion.

Shakespeare


With all the talent around, it's sort of amazing that a woman could be up here with us.

Shakespeare


Man is the measure of all things.

Shakespeare


God instructs the heart, not by ideas, but by pains and contradictions.

Shakespeare


Sic transit gloria mundi. [So passes away the glory of this world.]

Shakespeare


"Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away".

Shakespeare


While there's life, there's hope.

Shakespeare


God was satisfied with his own work, and that is fatal.

Shakespeare


This is the sort of English up with which I will not put.

Shakespeare


There's no justice in this world.

Shakespeare


Good government never depends upon laws, but upon the personal qualities of those who govern. The machinery of government is always subordinate to the will of those who administer that machinery. The most important element of government, therefore,

Shakespeare


I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday and I love today.

Shakespeare


Fortune Documents the Great Legal Decisions: We think that we may take judicial notice of the fact that the term "bitch" may imply some feeling of endearment when applied to a female of the canine species but that it is seldom, if ever, so used whe

Shakespeare


Most general statements are false, including this one.

Shakespeare William


We'll be recording at the Paradise Friday night. Live, on the Death label.

Shakespeare William


I was in this prematurely air conditioned supermarket and there were all these aisles and there were these bathing caps you could buy that had these kind of Fourth of July plumes on them that were red and yellow and blue and I wasn't tempted to buy

Shakespeare William


A good plan today is better than a perfect plan tomorrow.

Shakespeare William


Many of the characters are fools and they are always playing tricks on me and treating me badly.

Shakespeare William


If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

Shakespeare William


He thought of Musashi, the Sword Saint, standing in his garden more than three hundred years ago. "What is the 'Body of a rock'?" he was asked. In answer, Musashi summoned a pupil of his and bid him kill himself by slashing his abdomen with a knife.

Shakespeare William


By the middle 1880's, practically all the roads except those in the South, were of the present standard gauge. The southern roads were still five feet between rails. It was decided to change the gauge of all southern roads to standard, in one day

Shakespeare William


I just need enough to tide me over until I need more.

Shakespeare William


Ever get the feeling that the world's on tape and one of the reels is missing?

Shakespeare William


The possession of a book becomes a substitute for reading it.

Shakespeare William


I am a deeply superficial person.

Shakespeare William


Mental power tended to corrupt, and absolute intelligence tended to corrupt absolutely, until the victim eschewed violence entirely in favor of smart solutions to stupid problems.

Shakespeare William


We can embody the truth, but we cannot know it.

Shakespeare William


Ninety percent of everything is crap.

Shakespeare William


Like ya know? Rock 'N Roll is an esoteric language that unlocks the creativity chambers in people's brains, and like totally activates their essential hipness, which of course is like totally necessary for saving the earth, like because the first th

Shakespeare William


Judges, as a class, display, in the matter of arranging alimony, that reckless generosity which is found only in men who are giving away someone else's cash.

Shakespeare William


Let me assure you that to us here at First National, you're not just a number. Youre two numbers, a dash, three more numbers, another dash and another number.

Shakespeare Wm.


If you aren't rich you should always look useful.

William Shakespeare


Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women it is merely a good excuse not to play football.

William Shakespeare


"Plaese porrf raed."

William Shakespeare


I knew her before she was a virgin.

William Shakespeare


The primary cause of failure in electrical appliances is an expired warranty. Often, you can get an appliance running again simply by changing the warranty expiration date with a 15/64-inch felt-tipped marker.

William Shakespeare





Random Quote


It is right that he too should have his little chronicle, his memories, his reason, and be able to recognize the good in the bad, the bad in the worst, and so grow gently old all down the unchanging days and die one day like any other day, only short
Samuel Beckett

deep thoughts of brillyant genius of human history
Shakespeare
 
 
 
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