If reporters don't know that truth is plural, they ought to be lawyers.

Don't guess

American business long ago gave up on demanding that prospective employees be honest and hardworking. It has even stopped hoping for employees who are educated enough that they can tell the difference between the men's room and the women's room with

The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that, you've got it made.

You will remember, Watson, how the dreadful business of the Abernetty family was first brought to my notice by the depth which the parsley had sunk into the butter upon a hot day.

Anything anybody can say about America is true.

Several years ago, some smart businessmen had an idea: Why not build a big store where a do-it-yourselfer could get everything he needed at reasonable prices? Then they decided, nah, the hell with that, let's build a home center. And before long ho

This is the first age that's paid much attention to the future, which is a little ironic since we may not have one.

Seeing that death, a necessary end, Will come when it will come.

For a light heart lives long.

A free society is one where it is safe to be unpopular.

You may have heard that a dean is to faculty as a hydrant is to a dog.

A good scapegoat is hard to find. A guilty conscience is the mother of invention.

A full belly makes a dull brain.

The best executive is one who has sense enough to pick good people to do what he wants done, and self-restraint enough to keep from meddling with them while they do it.

"The State of California has no business subsidizing intellectual curiosity."

When a shepherd goes to kill a wolf, and takes his dog along to see the sport, he should take care to avoid mistakes. The dog has certain relationships to the wolf the shepherd may have forgotten.

The first rule of intelligent tinkering is to save all the parts.

A lot of people I know believe in positive thinking, and so do I. I believe everything positively stinks.

A casual stroll through a lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything.

It is better to live rich than to die rich.

Wishing without work is like fishing without bait.

You always introduce the younger person to the older person, using the wording: "Miss Brown, I'd like to introduce you to an older person" (unless her name is not "Miss Brown"). If you do not know a person's age, ask for a driver's license and a ma