It is a profitable thing, if one is wise, to seem foolish.

The white race is the cancer of history.

For there are moments when one can neither think nor feel. And if one can neither think nor feel, she thought, where is one?

The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence.

What you want, what you're hanging around in the world waiting for, is for something to occur to you.

Texas is Hell on woman and horses.

If you live long enough, you'll see that every victory turns into a defeat.

Watch your mouth, kid, or you'll find yourself floating home.

Remark of Dr. Baldwin's concerning upstarts: We don't care to eat toadstools that think they are truffles.

Luke, I'm yer father, eh. Come over to the dark side, you hoser.

By working faithfully eight hours a day, you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve.

Nasrudin returned to his village from the imperial capital, and the villagers gathered around to hear what had passed. "At this time," said Nasrudin, "I only want to say that the King spoke to me." All the villagers but the stupidest ran off to spr

Moderation is a fatal thing. Nothing succeeds like excess.

If a guru falls in the forest with no one to hear him, was he really a guru at all?

Sometimes a man who deserves to be looked down upon because he is a fool is despised only because he is a lawyer.

(1) Avoid fried meats which angry up the blood. (2) If your stomach antagonizes you, pacify it with cool thoughts. (3) Keep the juices flowing by jangling around gently as you move. (4) Go very lightly on the vices, such as carrying on in society, as

Once a word has been allowed to escape, it cannot be recalled.

If I had a formula for bypassing trouble, I would not pass it around. Trouble creates a capacity to handle it. I don't say embrace trouble; that's as bad as treating it as an enemy. But I do say meet it as a friend, for you'll see a lot of it and y

"Necessity is the mother of invention" is a silly proverb. "Necessity is the mother of futile dodges" is much nearer the truth.

Mum's the word.

The truth of a thing is the feel of it, not the think of it.

I'll burn my books.

Theology is an attempt to explain a subject by men who do not understand it. The intent is not to tell the truth but to satisfy the questioner.