Ain't no right way to do a wrong thing.

By protracting life, we do not deduct one jot from the duration of death.

Love may laugh at locksmiths, but he has a profound respect for money bags.

Don't everyone thank me at once!

The future is a race between education and catastrophe.

The best you get is an even break.

With Congress, every time they make a joke it's a law; and every time they make a law it's a joke.

Nonsense and beauty have close connections.

... Our second completely true news item was sent to me by Mr. H. Boyce Connell Jr. of Atlanta, Ga., where he is involved in a law firm. One thing I like about the South is, folks there care about tradition. If somebody gets handed a name like "H.

Some people say a front-engine car handles best. Some people say a rear-engine car handles best. I say a rented car handles best.

True to our past we work with an inherited, observed, and accepted vision of personal futility, and of the beauty of the world.

Given a choice between grief and nothing, I'd choose grief.

Immature poets imitate, mature poets steal.

I know not how I came into this, shall I call it a dying life or a living death?

Like, if I'm not for me, then fer shure, like who will be? And if, y'know, if I'm not like fer anyone else, then hey, I mean, what am I? And if not now, like I dunno, maybe like when? And if not Who, then I dunno, maybe like the Rolling Stones?

I am, in point of fact, a particularly haughty and exclusive person, of pre-Adamite ancestral descent. You will understand this when I tell you that I can trace my ancestry back to a protoplasmal primordial atomic globule. Consequently, my family p

A little bit of rape is good for a man's soul.

Our business in life is not to succeed but to continue to fail in high spirits.

Look, we trade every day out there with hustlers, deal-makers, shysters, con-men. That's the way businesses get started. That's the way this country was built.

Prediction is very difficult, especially of the future.

It has long been noticed that juries are pitiless for robbery and full of indulgence for infanticide. A question of interest, my dear Sir! The jury is afraid of being robbed and has passed the age when it could be a victim of infanticide.

It has long been noticed that juries are pitiless for robbery and full of indulgence for infanticide. A question of interest, my dear Sir! The jury is afraid of being robbed and has passed the age when it could be a victim of infanticide.

Yawd [noun, Bostonese]: the campus of Have Id.