What soon grows old? Gratitude.

Honesty pays, but it doesn't seem to pay enough to suit some people.

If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars.

"MOKE DAT YIGARETTE"

Two wrongs don't make a right, but they make a good excuse.

It is a profitable thing, if one is wise, to seem foolish.

Nothing recedes like success.

Paradise is exactly like where you are right now ... only much, much better.

I consider a new device or technology to have been culturally accepted when it has been used to commit a murder.

When I have one foot in the grave I will tell the truth about women. I shall tell it, jump into my coffin, pull the lid over me, and say, "Do what you like now."

Do not seek death; death will find you. But seek the road which makes death a fulfillment.

He thought of Musashi, the Sword Saint, standing in his garden more than three hundred years ago. "What is the 'Body of a rock'?" he was asked. In answer, Musashi summoned a pupil of his and bid him kill himself by slashing his abdomen with a knife.