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Doctors and lawyers must go to school for years and years, often with little sleep and with great sacrifice to their first wives.

Shaw George Bernard


A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car.

Shaw George Bernard


Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet?

Shaw George Bernard


The last vestiges of the old Republic have been swept away.

Shaw George Bernard


The early bird who catches the worm works for someone who comes in late and owns the worm farm.

Shaw George Bernard


If reporters don't know that truth is plural, they ought to be lawyers.

Shaw George Bernard


Feminists say 60 percent of the country's wealth is in the hands of women. They're letting men hold the other 40 percent because their handbags are full.

Shaw George Bernard


My tears stuck in their little ducts, refusing to be jerked.

Shaw George Bernard


You k'n hide de fier, but w'at you gwine do wid de smoke?

Shaw George Bernard


It is a lesson which all history teaches wise men, to put trust in ideas, and not in circumstances.

Shaw George Bernard


The first Rotarian was the first man to call John the Baptist "Jack."

Shaw George Bernard


The difference between a Miracle and a Fact is exactly the difference between a mermaid and a seal.

Shaw George Bernard





Random Quote


I regret to say that we of the F.B.I. are powerless to act in cases of oral-genital intimacy, unless it has in some way obstructed interstate commerce.
Hoover J. Edgar

deep thoughts of brillyant genius of human history
Shaw George Bernard
 
 
 
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