All men know the utility of useful things; but they do not know the utility of futility.

Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women it is merely a good excuse not to play football.

Money doesn't talk, it swears.

Hating the Yankees is as American as pizza pie, unwed mothers and cheating on your income tax.

I think we're in trouble.

Well, the handwriting is on the floor.

The Almighty in His infinite wisdom did not see fit to create Frenchmen in the image of Englishmen.

The price of success in philosophy is triviality.

Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them. There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.

... we must not judge the society of the future by considering whether or not we should like to live in it; the question is whether those who have grown up in it will be happier than those who have grown up in our society or those of the past.

A journey of a thousand miles starts under one's feet.

Very few things happen at the right time, and the rest do not happen at all. The conscientious historian will correct these defects.