The flush toilet is the basis of Western civilization.

There are two kinds of fool. One says, "This is old, and therefore good." And one says, "This is new, and therefore better"

A Polish worker walks into a bank to deposit his paycheck. He has heard about Poland's economic problems, and he asks what would happen to his money if the bank collapsed. "All of our deposits are guaranteed by the finance ministry, sir," the telle

Only kings, presidents, editors, and people with tapeworms have the right to use the editorial "we".

When you are in the middle of a story it isn't a story at all, but only a confusion; a dark roaring, a blindness, a wreckage of shattered glass and splintered wood, like a house in a whirlwind, or else a boat crushed by the icebergs or swept over the