The flush toilet is the basis of Western civilization.

Save a little money each month and at the end of the year you'll be surprised at how little you have.

Two wrongs are only the beginning.

Pereant, inquit, qui ante nos nostra dixerunt. [Confound those who have said our remarks before us.] or [May they perish who have expressed our bright ideas before us.]

"Cogito ergo I'm right and you're wrong."

A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.

The 'A' is for content, the 'minus' is for not typing it. Don't ever do this to my eyes again.

Between 1950 and 1952, a bored weatherman, stationed north of Hudson Bay, left a monument that neither government nor time can eradicate. Using a bulldozer abandoned by the Air Force, he spent two years and great effort pushing boulders into a single

Would that my hand were as swift as my tongue.

A woman occasionally is quite a serviceable substitute for masturbation. It takes an abundance of imagination, to be sure.

Consider the postage stamp: its usefulness consists in the ability to stick to one thing till it gets there.

If I had any humility I would be perfect.

A memorandum is written not to inform the reader, but to protect the writer.

Perhaps no person can be a poet, or even enjoy poetry without a certain unsoundness of mind.