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Use what talents you possess: the woods would be very silent if no birds sang there except those that sang best.

Carlyle Thomas


If the church put in half the time on covetousness that it does on lust, this would be a better world.

Carlyle Thomas


"Well, it's garish, ugly, and derelicts have used it for a toilet. The rides are dilapidated to the point of being lethal, and could easily maim or kill innocent little children." "Oh, so you don't like it?" "Don't like it? I'm CRAZY for it."

Carlyle Thomas


Liberty is always dangerous, but it is the safest thing we have.

Carlyle Thomas


My daddy's brains was so scrambled he thought he was Jesus. They put him in a nut house for 5 years and when he got out, he didn't think he was Jesus, he thought he was *God*! ... Which made me Jesus.

Dekker Thomas


The sooner you make your first 5000 mistakes, the sooner you will be able to correct them.

Dewar Lord Thomas


The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.

Dewar Lord Thomas


I remember when legal used to mean lawful, now it means some kind of loophole.

Dewar Lord Thomas Rober


"Spare no expense to save money on this one."

Edison Thomas Alva


When alerted to an intrusion by tinkling glass or otherwise, 1) Calm yourself 2) Identify the intruder 3) If hostile, kill him. Step number 3 is of particular importance. If you leave the guy alive out of misguided softheartedness, he will repay y

Jefferson Thomas


If you have to ask what jazz is, you'll never know.

Jefferson Thomas


The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence.

Jefferson Thomas


A woman's a woman until the day she dies, but a man's only a man as long as he can.

Jefferson Thomas


Authors (and perhaps columnists) eventually rise to the top of whatever depths they were once able to plumb.

Jefferson Thomas


God is Dead.

Jefferson Thomas


The error of youth is to believe that intelligence is a substitute for experience, while the error of age is to believe experience is a substitute for intelligence.

Jefferson Thomas


Think lucky. If you fall in a pond, check your pockets for fish.

Jefferson Thomas


If you are of the opinion that the contemplation of suicide is sufficient evidence of a poetic nature, do not forget that actions speak louder than words.

Jefferson Thomas


Tax reform means "Don't tax you, don't tax me, tax that fellow behind the tree."

Jefferson Thomas


The absurd is the essential concept and the first truth.

Jones Thomas


Cautious, careful people always casting about to preserve their reputation or social standards never can bring about reform. Those who are totally in earnest are willing to be anything or nothing in the world's estimation, and publicly and privately

Kempis Thomas `a


Use an accordion. Go to jail.

Kempis Thomas `a


Another such victory over the Romans, and we are undone.

Kopp Thomas J.


"It's a summons." "What's a summons?" "It means summon's in trouble."

Lewis Thomas


The genius of our ruling class is that it has kept a majority of the people from ever questioning the inequity of a system where most people drudge along paying heavy taxes for which they get nothing in return.

Macaulay Thomas


Politicians speak for their parties, and parties never are, never have been, and never will be wrong.

Martin Thomas L.


There is much Obi-Wan did not tell you.

More Sir Thomas


She applies her lipstick in spite of its contents: "greasy rouge, containing crushed and dried insect corpses for coloring, beeswax for stiffness, and olive oil to help it flow - the latter having the unfortunate tendency to go rancid several hours a

Paine Thomas


Democracy is a device that insures we shall be governed no better than we deserve.

Paine Thomas


NAPOLEON: What shall we do with this soldier, Giuseppe? Everything he says is wrong. GIUSEPPE: Make him a general, Excellency, and then everything he says will be right.

Reed Thomas B.


New York now leads the world's great cities in the number of people around whom you shouldn't make a sudden move.

Reid Thomas


According to the Rand McNally Places-Rated Almanac, the best place to live in America is the city of Pittsburgh. The city of New York came in twenty-fifth. Here in New York we really don't care too much. Because we know that we could beat up their

Szasz Thomas


If you don't count some of Jehovah's injunctions, there are no humorists in the Bible.

Szasz Thomas


Yevtushenko has... an ego that can crack crystal at a distance of twenty feet.

Thomas Dylan


It may be better to be a live jackal than a dead lion, but it is better still to be a live lion. And usually easier.

Thomas Dylan


Let others praise ancient times; I am glad I was born in these.

Thomas J. Parnell


All wars are civil wars, because all men are brothers ... Each one owes infinitely more to the human race than to the particular country in which he was born.

Thomas Marlo


Perfection is reached, not when there is no longer anything to add, but when there is no longer anything to take away.

Thomas Marlo


"Elves and Dragons!" I says to him. "Cabbages and potatoes are better for you and me."

Thomas Norman


Never have so many understood so little about so much.

Thomas Carlyle


Honesty's the best policy.

Thomas Dave


When angry, count four; when very angry, swear.

Thomas De Quincey


Fraud is the homage that force pays to reason.

Thomas De Quincey


Nothing succeeds like excess.

Thomas De Quincey


Whom the mad would destroy, first they make Gods.

Thomas Jefferson


As to Jesus of Nazareth... I think the system of Morals and his Religion, as he left them to us, the best the World ever saw or is likely to see; but I apprehend it has received various corrupting Changes, and I have, with most of the present Dissent

Thomas King


Events are not affected, they develop.

Thomas Macaulay


About the time we think we can make ends meet, somebody moves the ends.

Thomas W. Lamont


Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid.

Tusser Thomas


Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them. There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.

Tusser Thomas


All hope abandon, ye who enter here!

Wolfe Thomas


Alea iacta est. [The die is cast]

Ybarra Thomas





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I didn't do it! Nobody saw me do it! Can't prove anything!
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