To have died once is enough.

Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you.

You k'n hide de fier, but w'at you gwine do wid de smoke?

The life which is unexamined is not worth living.

The faster I go, the behinder I get.

God instructs the heart, not by ideas, but by pains and contradictions.

The world is full of people who have never, since childhood, met an open doorway with an open mind.

Man must shape his tools lest they shape him.

I was in this prematurely air conditioned supermarket and there were all these aisles and there were these bathing caps you could buy that had these kind of Fourth of July plumes on them that were red and yellow and blue and I wasn't tempted to buy

Good government never depends upon laws, but upon the personal qualities of those who govern. The machinery of government is always subordinate to the will of those who administer that machinery. The most important element of government, therefore,

Certain passages in several laws have always defied interpretation and the most inexplicable must be a matter of opinion. A judge of the Court of Session of Scotland has sent the editors of this book his candidate which reads, "In the Nuts (unground

The Law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich, as well as the poor, to sleep under the bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread.

Don't steal; thou'lt never thus compete successfully in business. Cheat.

Nothing will ever be attempted if all possible objections must be first overcome.

... Our second completely true news item was sent to me by Mr. H. Boyce Connell Jr. of Atlanta, Ga., where he is involved in a law firm. One thing I like about the South is, folks there care about tradition. If somebody gets handed a name like "H.

(1) Avoid fried meats which angry up the blood. (2) If your stomach antagonizes you, pacify it with cool thoughts. (3) Keep the juices flowing by jangling around gently as you move. (4) Go very lightly on the vices, such as carrying on in society, as

The first rule of intelligent tinkering is to save all the parts.

A full belly makes a dull brain.

If you sell diamonds, you cannot expect to have many customers. But a diamond is a diamond even if there are no customers.

For certain people, after fifty, litigation takes the place of sex.

A sinking ship gathers no moss.

She cried, and the judge wiped her tears with my checkbook.

When eating an elephant take one bite at a time.

How can you prove whether at this moment we are sleeping, and all our thoughts are a dream; or whether we are awake, and talking to one another in the waking state?

Competence, like truth, beauty, and contact lenses, is in the eye of the beholder.

The only reward of virtue is virtue.

I've got all the money I'll ever need if I die by 4 o'clock.

After his Ignoble Disgrace, Satan was being expelled from Heaven. As he passed through the Gates, he paused a moment in thought, and turned to God and said, "A new creature called Man, I hear, is soon to be created." "This is true," He replied.

Of all possible committee reactions to any given agenda item, the reaction that will occur is the one which will liberate the greatest amount of hot air.

What makes you think graduate school is supposed to be satisfying?

Where do I find the time for not reading so many books?

Don't get mad, get even.

Absolutum obsoletum. (If it works, it's out of date.)

The two most beautiful words in the English language are "Cheque Enclosed."

If you want divine justice, die.

Divorce is a game played by lawyers.

If men are not afraid to die, it is of no avail to threaten them with death. If men live in constant fear of dying, And if breaking the law means a man will be killed, Who will dare to break the law? There is always an official executioner. If

If little green men land in your back yard, hide any little green women you've got in the house.

Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women it is merely a good excuse not to play football.

"I have to convince you, or at least snow you ..."

A continuing flow of paper is sufficient to continue the flow of paper.

Education is the process of casting false pearls before real swine.

Any philosophy that can be put "in a nutshell" belongs there.

Nothing will dispel enthusiasm like a small admission fee.

A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats.

Don't go to bed with no price on your head.

Never have so many understood so little about so much.

Moneyliness is next to Godliness.

Ignorance is never out of style. It was in fashion yesterday, it is the rage today, and it will set the pace tomorrow.

"We're not talking about the same thing," he said. "For you the world is weird because if you're not bored with it you're at odds with it. For me the world is weird because it is stupendous, awesome, mysterious, unfathomable; my interest has been to

Luck, that's when preparation and opportunity meet.

You can get much further with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.

Money is truthful. If a man speaks of his honor, make him pay cash.

It is better to have loved and lost

Campus sidewalks never exist as the straightest line between two points.

A man is known by the company he organizes.

The early bird who catches the worm works for someone who comes in late and owns the worm farm.

Coincidences are spiritual puns.

Progress was all right. Only it went on too long.

The more the merrier.

"Hi, I'm Preston A. Mantis, president of Consumers Retail Law Outlet. As you can see by my suit and the fact that I have all these books of equal height on the shelves behind me, I am a trained legal attorney. Do you have a car or a job? Do you ever

Drop the vase and it will become a Ming of the past.

Good-bye. I am leaving because I am bored.

Who goeth a-borrowing goeth a-sorrowing.

The most difficult thing in the world is to know how to do a thing and to watch someone else doing it wrong, without commenting.

Any stone in your boot always migrates against the pressure gradient to exactly the point of most pressure.

A priest asked: What is Fate, Master? And the Master answered: It is that which gives a beast of burden its reason for existence. It is that which men in former times had to bear upon their backs. It is that which has caused nations to build bywa

I'm glad I was not born before tea.

There is more to life than increasing its speed.

You can always pick up your needle and move to another groove.

The chief danger in life is that you may take too many precautions.

Like, if I'm not for me, then fer shure, like who will be? And if, y'know, if I'm not like fer anyone else, then hey, I mean, what am I? And if not now, like I dunno, maybe like when? And if not Who, then I dunno, maybe like the Rolling Stones?

Patience is the best remedy for every trouble.

How do you explain school to a higher intelligence?

Pauca sed matura. [Few but excellent.]

"Earth is a great, big funhouse without the fun."

It is when I struggle to be brief that I become obscure.

The reward of a thing well done is to have done it.

So you think that money is the root of all evil. Have you ever asked what is the root of money?

A violent man will die a violent death.

Perhaps the remembrance of these things will prove a source of future pleasure.

Why are you doing this to me? Because knowledge is torture, and there must be awareness before there is change.

Flame on!

Nothing succeeds like success.

A woman occasionally is quite a serviceable substitute for masturbation. It takes an abundance of imagination, to be sure.

There is a secret person undamaged within every individual.

When the sun shineth, make hay.

If we could sell our experiences for what they cost us, we would all be millionaires.

Mankind is poised midway between the gods and the beasts.

Facts are the enemy of truth.

There has been a little distress selling on the stock exchange.

All of us should treasure his Oriental wisdom and his preaching of a Zen-like detachment, as exemplified by his constant reminder to clerks, tellers, or others who grew excited by his presence in their banks: "Just lie down on the floor and keep calm

Judges, as a class, display, in the matter of arranging alimony, that reckless generosity which is found only in men who are giving away someone else's cash.

"No job too big; no fee too big!"

I respect faith, but doubt is what gives you an education.