Many hands make light work.

The truth is what is; what should be is a dirty lie.

He knows not how to know who knows not also how to unknow.

If I had a plantation in Georgia and a home in Hell, I'd sell the plantation and go home.

Lay off the muses, it's a very tough dollar.

Force has no place where there is need of skill.

A businessman is a hybrid of a dancer and a calculator.

The goys have proven the following theorem...

Some men are heterosexual, and some are bisexual, and some men don't think about sex at all... they become lawyers.

The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence.

Burnt Sienna. That's the best thing that ever happened to Crayolas.

The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers.

Doubt isn't the opposite of faith; it is an element of faith.

If reporters don't know that truth is plural, they ought to be lawyers.

To add insult to injury.

"...The name of the song is called 'Haddocks' Eyes'!" "Oh, that's the name of the song, is it?" Alice said, trying to feel interested. "No, you don't understand," the Knight said, looking a little vexed. "That's what the name is called. The nam

What we need in this country, instead of Daylight Savings Time, which nobody really understands anyway, is a new concept called Weekday Morning Time, whereby at 7 a.m. every weekday we go into a space-launch-style "hold" for two to three hours, durin

Age before beauty; and pearls before swine.

"Somewhere", said Father Vittorini, "did Blake not speak of the Machineries of Joy? That is, did not God promote environments, then intimidate these Natures by provoking the existence of flesh, toy men and women, such as are we all? And thus happi

Events are not affected, they develop.

Whatever is not nailed down is mine. Whatever I can pry up is not nailed down.

Eighteen goddess-like daughters are not equal to one son with a hump.

Judges, as a class, display, in the matter of arranging alimony, that reckless generosity which is found only in men who are giving away someone else's cash.

The white race is the cancer of history.

The USA is so enormous, and so numerous are its schools, colleges and religious seminaries, many devoted to special religious beliefs ranging from the unorthodox to the dotty, that we can hardly wonder at its yielding a more bounteous harvest of gobb

Then a man said: Speak to us of Expectations. He then said: If a man does not see or hear the waters of the Jordan, then he should not taste the pomegranate or ply his wares in an open market. If a man would not labour in the salt and rock quarri

"If once a man indulges himself in murder, very soon he comes to think little of robbing; and from robbing he next comes to drinking and Sabbath-breaking, and from that to incivility and procrastination."

He who knows others is wise. He who knows himself is enlightened.

Remembering is for those who have forgotten.

"Plaese porrf raed."

Honesty's the best policy.

Writing about music is like dancing about architecture.

The trouble with superheros is what to do between phone booths.

You don't have to think too hard when you talk to teachers.

What a bonanza! An unknown beginner to be directed by Lubitsch, in a script by Wilder and Brackett, and to play with Paramount's two superstars, Gary Cooper and Claudette Colbert, and to be beaten up by both of them!

Never take a resume seriously. Resumes only make money for the people who write the resumes. No resume ever tells an employer how many times a job applicant has had the clap. Why, indeed, would anyone hire a person based on a resume written by a

Prosperity makes friends, adversity tries them.

In Hollywood, if you don't have happiness, you send out for it.

Hating the Yankees is as American as pizza pie, unwed mothers and cheating on your income tax.

If any man wishes to be humbled and mortified, let him become president of Harvard.

Well begun is half done.

If your happiness depends on what somebody else does, I guess you do have a problem.

Competitive fury is not always anger. It is the true missionary's courage and zeal in facing the possibility that one's best may not be enough.

Being a woman is a terribly difficult trade, since it consists principally of dealings with men.

The optimist thinks that this is the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist knows it.

Likewise, the national appetizer, brine-cured herring with raw onions, wins few friends, Germans excepted.

A thing is not necessarily true because a man dies for it.

Lassie looked brilliant, in part because the farm family she lived with was made up of idiots. Remember? One of them was always getting pinned under the tractor, and Lassie was always rushing back to the farmhouse to alert the other ones. She'd w

It took me fifteen years to discover that I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by that time I was too famous.

Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the person involved.

Ah, but a man's grasp should exceed his reach, Or what's a heaven for ?

Real wealth can only increase.

Too many people are thinking of security instead of opportunity. They seem more afraid of life than death.

Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig.

There's no such thing as an original sin.

Certain passages in several laws have always defied interpretation and the most inexplicable must be a matter of opinion. A judge of the Court of Session of Scotland has sent the editors of this book his candidate which reads, "In the Nuts (unground

Given a choice between grief and nothing, I'd choose grief.

If you want divine justice, die.

Practical people would be more practical if they would take a little more time for dreaming.

Receiving a million dollars tax free will make you feel better than being flat broke and having a stomach ache.

Being a miner, as soon as you're too old and tired and sick and stupid to do your job properly, you have to go, where the very opposite applies with the judges.

Honesty pays, but it doesn't seem to pay enough to suit some people.

You can tell the ideals of a nation by its advertisements.

Hard reality has a way of cramping your style.

God is Dead.

Diary of a Young Girl LITE(tm)

There are two ways of disliking poetry; one way is to dislike it, the other is to read Pope.

Confucius say too much.

Imagine what we can imagine!

There's nothing worse for your business than extra Santa Clauses smoking in the men's room.

Every word is like an unnecessary stain on silence and nothingness.

The trouble with the rat-race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.

Someday we'll look back on this moment and plow into a parked car.

You can always pick up your needle and move to another groove.

America is a large, friendly dog in a very small room. Every time it wags its tail, it knocks over a chair.

Whenever the literary German dives into a sentence, that is the last you are going to see of him until he emerges on the other side of his Atlantic with his verb in his mouth.

Trust in Allah, but tie your camel.

A word to the wise is enough.

Some men are heterosexual, and some are bisexual, and some men don't think about sex at all... they become lawyers.

One picture is worth more than ten thousand words.

When the going gets tough, everyone leaves.

In "King Henry VI, Part II," Shakespeare has Dick Butcher suggest to his fellow anti-establishment rabble-rousers, "The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers." That action may be extreme but a similar sentiment was expressed by Thomas K. Co

Never invest your money in anything that eats or needs repainting.

Term, holidays, term, holidays, till we leave school, and then work, work, work till we die.

All the big corporations depreciate their possessions, and you can, too, provided you use them for business purposes. For example, if you subscribe to the Wall Street Journal, a business-related newspaper, you can deduct the cost of your house, beca

There is no hunting like the hunting of man, and those who have hunted armed men long enough and liked it, never care for anything else thereafter.

I always wake up at the crack of ice.

Have you ever stopped to think what it would be like to have a woman President? "I can't deal with the Russians today. Not now. I've got my period."

There is no better way of exercising the imagination than the study of law. No poet ever interpreted nature as freely as a lawyer interprets truth.

I know on which side my bread is buttered.

If you only have a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail.

Isn't it nice that people who prefer Los Angeles to San Francisco live there?

A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car.

Recently deceased blues guitarist Stevie Ray Vaughan "comes to" after his death. He sees Jimi Hendrix sitting next to him, tuning his guitar. "Holy cow," he thinks to himself, "this guy is my idol." Over at the microphone, about to sing, are Jim Mo

If a shameless woman expects to be defiled and then dies of her fierce love because you do not consent, will chastity also be homicide?