If reporters don't know that truth is plural, they ought to be lawyers.

We are all worms. But I do believe I am a glowworm.

Anyone who has had a bull by the tail knows five or six more things than someone who hasn't.

People who have what they want are very fond of telling people who haven't what they want that they don't want it.

If you've seen one redwood, you've seen them all.

The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and the lightning bug.

A light wife doth make a heavy husband.

Bond reflected that good Americans were fine people and that most of them seemed to come from Texas.

Under every stone lurks a politician.

The aim of a joke is not to degrade the human being but to remind him that he is already degraded.

We are not a loved organization, but we are a respected one.

You k'n hide de fier, but w'at you gwine do wid de smoke?

This is an especially good time for you vacationers who plan to fly, because the Reagan administration, as part of the same policy under which it recently sold Yellowstone National Park to Wayne Newton, has "deregulated" the airline industry. What t

You never have to change anything you got up in the middle of the night to write.

Tart words make no friends; a spoonful of honey will catch more flies than a gallon of vinegar.

"Hi, I'm Preston A. Mantis, president of Consumers Retail Law Outlet. As you can see by my suit and the fact that I have all these books of equal height on the shelves behind me, I am a trained legal attorney. Do you have a car or a job? Do you ever

What you want, what you're hanging around in the world waiting for, is for something to occur to you.

Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.

We are what we pretend to be.

The Soviet pre-eminence in chess can be traced to the average Russian's readiness to brood obsessively over anything, even the arrangement of some pieces of wood. Indeed, the Russians' predisposition for quiet reflection followed by sudden preventi

Gauls! We have nothing to fear; except perhaps that the sky may fall on our heads tomorrow. But as we all know, tomorrow never comes!!

It is better to have loved and lost

None love the bearer of bad news.

What does it take for Americans to do great things; to go to the moon, to win wars, to dig canals linking oceans, to build railroads across a continent? In independent thought about this question, Neil Armstrong and I concluded that it takes a coinci

Law enforcement officers should use only the minimum force necessary in dealing with disorders when they arise.

The brotherhood of man is not a mere poet's dream; it is a most depressing and humiliating reality.

It is bad luck to be superstitious.

The Russians have put a small ball up in the air. That does not raise my apprehensions one iota.

The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers.

Tertullian was born in Carthage somewhere about 160 A.D. He was a pagan, and he abandoned himself to the lascivious life of his city until about his 35th year, when he became a Christian. [...] To him is ascribed the sublime confession: Credo quia

The only thing that stops God from sending a second Flood is that the first one was useless.

A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain.

Fortune Documents the Great Legal Decisions: We think that we may take judicial notice of the fact that the term "bitch" may imply some feeling of endearment when applied to a female of the canine species but that it is seldom, if ever, so used whe

"Go on, girl! You'll never get a better chance to buy Jif at this price. *Carpe diem*, babe!"

It is ridiculous to call this an industry. This is not. This is rat eat rat, dog eat dog. I'll kill 'em, and I'm going to kill 'em before they kill me. You're talking about the American way of survival of the fittest.

of our air pollution stems from hydrocarbons released by vegetation, so let's not go overboard in setting and enforcing tough emissions standards from man-made sources."

Progress might have been all right once, but it's gone on too long.

You climb to reach the summit, but once there, discover that all roads lead down.

A horse! A horse! My kingdom for a horse!

All of the true things I am about to tell you are shameless lies.

Such evil deeds could religion prompt.

A casual stroll through a lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything.

For the fashion of Minas Tirith was such that it was built on seven levels, each delved into a hill, and about each was set a wall, and in each wall was a gate.

Bullwinkle: You just leave that to my pal. He's the brains of the outfit. General: What does that make YOU? Bullwinkle: What else? An executive.

The devil can cite Scripture for his purpose.

The worst part of having success is trying to find someone who is happy for you.

He who attacks the fundamentals of the American broadcasting industry attacks democracy itself.

Immigration is the sincerest form of flattery.

Everlasting peace will come to the world when the last man has slain the last but one.

Our parents were of Midwestern stock and very strict. They didn't want us to grow up to be spoiled and rich. If we left our tennis racquets in the rain, we were punished.

Millions of sensible people are too high-minded to concede that politics is almost always the choice of the lesser evil. "Tweedledum and Tweedledee," they say. "I will not vote." Having abstained, they are presented with a President who appoints t

Human resources are human first, and resources second.

The real purpose of books is to trap the mind into doing its own thinking.

In any country there must be people who have to die. They are the sacrifices any nation has to make to achieve law and order.

If you have to ask what jazz is, you'll never know.

If you want to understand your government, don't begin by reading the Constitution. It conveys precious little of the flavor of today's statecraft. Instead, read selected portions of the Washington telephone directory containing listings for all th

Old age is the most unexpected of things that can happen to a man.

TV is chewing gum for the eyes.

The road to Hades is easy to travel.

Porsche: there simply is no substitute.

The trouble with opportunity is that it always comes disguised as hard work.

Oh what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive.

Look ere ye leap.

I never made a mistake in my life. I thought I did once, but I was wrong.

The infliction of cruelty with a good conscience is a delight to moralists. That is why they invented hell.

Three o'clock in the afternoon is always just a little too late or a little too early for anything you want to do.

The reasons that each of these countries has had to renege on its financial committments were all somewhat different: Argentina because of a war, Poland because of its vast misguided overinvestment in heavy industry, Honduras because the coffee price

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.

They sentenced me to twenty years of boredom for trying to change the system from within. I'm coming now I'm coming to reward them. First we take Manhattan, then we take Berlin. I'm guided by a signal in the heavens. I'm guided by this birthmark

Politics and the fate of mankind are formed by men without ideals and without greatness. Those who have greatness within them do not go in for politics.

The whole religious complexion of the modern world is due to the absence from Jerusalem of a lunatic asylum.

The last time I saw him he was walking down Lover's Lane holding his own hand.

It's our fault. We should have given him better parts.

Tallulah Bankhead barged down the Nile last night as Cleopatra and sank.

Or you or I must yield up his life to Ahrimanes. I would rather it were you. I should have no hesitation in sacrificing my own life to spare yours, but we take stock next week, and it would not be fair on the company.

Talkers are no good doers.

The surest protection against temptation is cowardice.

"MacDonald has the gift on compressing the largest amount of words into the smallest amount of thoughts."

Neckties strangle clear thinking.

We must remember that in time of war what is said on the enemy's side of the front is always propaganda and what is said on our side of the front is truth and righteousness, the cause of humanity and a crusade for peace.

XXVI: If a sufficient number of management layers are superimposed on each other, it can be assured that disaster is not left to chance. XXVII: Rank does not intimidate hardware. Neither does the lack of rank. XXVIII: It is better to be the r

A violent man will die a violent death.

My daddy's brains was so scrambled he thought he was Jesus. They put him in a nut house for 5 years and when he got out, he didn't think he was Jesus, he thought he was *God*! ... Which made me Jesus.

All religions issue Bibles against Satan, and say the most injurious things against him, but we never hear his side.

A continuing flow of paper is sufficient to continue the flow of paper.

Tip O'Neill is just like Congress; old, fat and out of control.

Look before you leap.

He was a fiddler, and consequently a rogue.

The Law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich, as well as the poor, to sleep under the bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread.

For years a secret shame destroyed my peace

"Rembrandt's first name was Beauregard, which is why he never used it."

No bird soars too high if he soars with his own wings.

"And Bezel saideth unto Sham: `Sham,' he saideth, `Thou shalt goest unto the town of Begorrah, and there thou shalt fetcheth unto thine bosom 35 talents, and also shalt thou fetcheth a like number of cubits, provideth that they are nice and fresh.'"

The course of true anything never does run smooth.

A woman takes off her claim to respect along with her garments.