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When we jumped into Sicily, the units became separated, and I couldn't find anyone. Eventually I stumbled across two colonels, a major, three captains, two lieutenants, and one rifleman, and we secured the bridge. Never in the history of war have s

Englan Mark Twain on New


Plus ,ca change, plus c'est la m^eme chose. [The more things change, the more they remain the same.]

Li Mark Twain


There seems no plan because it is all plan.

Mark Twain


Life is a serious burden, which no thinking, humane person would wantonly inflict on someone else.

Mark Twain


I was in accord with the system so long as it permitted me to function effectively.

Mark Twain


He's a son-of-a-bitch, but he's our son-of-a-bitch.

Mark Twain


One hundred women are not worth a single testicle.

Mark Twain


Exceptions prove the rule, and wreck the budget.

Mark Twain


Doctors and lawyers must go to school for years and years, often with little sleep and with great sacrifice to their first wives.

Mark Twain


There are three rules for writing a novel. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are.

Mark Twain


A public debt is a kind of anchor in the storm; but if the anchor be too heavy for the vessel, she will be sunk by that very weight which was intended for her preservation.

Mark Twain


Another possible source of guidance for teenagers is television, but television's message has always been that the need for truth, wisdom and world peace pales by comparison with the need for a toothpaste that offers whiter teeth *___and* fresher

Mark Twain


The adjective is the banana peel of the parts of speech.

Twain Mark


Fraud is the homage that force pays to reason.

Twain Mark


You can always pick up your needle and move to another groove.

Twain Mark


The whole world is a scab. The point is to pick it constructively.

Twain Mark


Never appeal to a man's "better nature." He may not have one. Invoking his self-interest gives you more leverage.

Twain Mark


A team effort is a lot of people doing what I say.

Twain Mark


I'm not sure I've even got the brains to be President.

Twain Mark


Home is where the hurt is.

Twain Mark


The longest part of the journey is said to be the passing of the gate.

Twain Mark


Eeny, Meeny, Jelly Beanie, the spirits are about to speak!

Twain Mark


No man is useless who has a friend, and if we are loved we are indispensable.

Twain Mark


There's nothing to writing. All you do is sit at a typewriter and open a vein.

Twain Mark


Someone did a study of the three most-often-heard phrases in New York City. One is "Hey, taxi." Two is, "What train do I take to get to Bloomingdale's?" And three is, "Don't worry. It's just a flesh wound."

Twain Mark


The hatred of relatives is the most violent.

Twain Mark


A man's house is his castle.

Twain Mark


[Nuclear war] ... may not be desirable.

Twain Mark


It's not enough to be Hungarian; you must have talent too.

Twain Mark


Mirrors should reflect a little before throwing back images.

Twain Mark


The liberals can understand everything but people who don't understand them.

Twain Mark


Something unpleasant is coming when men are anxious to tell the truth.

Twain Mark


He who despairs over an event is a coward, but he who holds hopes for the human condition is a fool.

Twain Mark


If you want to understand your government, don't begin by reading the Constitution. It conveys precious little of the flavor of today's statecraft. Instead, read selected portions of the Washington telephone directory containing listings for all th

Twain Mark


Briefly stated, the findings are that when presented with an array of data or a sequence of events in which they are instructed to discover an underlying order, subjects show strong tendencies to perceive order and causality in random arrays, to perc

Twain Mark


How should they answer?

Twain Mark


In my end is my beginning.

Twain Mark


Too much is just enough.

Twain Mark


My experience with government is when things are non-controversial, beautifully co-ordinated and all the rest, it must be that not much is going on.

Twain Mark


Who goeth a-borrowing goeth a-sorrowing.

Twain Mark


Getting kicked out of the American Bar Association is liked getting kicked out of the Book-of-the-Month Club.

Twain Mark


Who's scruffy-looking?

Twain Mark


Save a little money each month and at the end of the year you'll be surprised at how little you have.

Twain Mark


There is no sin but ignorance.

Twain Mark


If we suffer tamely a lawless attack upon our liberty, we encourage it, and involve others in our doom.

Twain Mark


You can no more win a war than you can win an earthquake.

Twain Mark


If you wish to be happy for one hour, get drunk. If you wish to be happy for three days, get married. If you wish to be happy for a month, kill your pig and eat it. If you wish to be happy forever, learn to fish.

Twain Mark


Suffering alone exists, none who suffer; The deed there is, but no doer thereof; Nirvana is, but no one is seeking it; The Path there is, but none who travel it.

Twain Mark


A game can by God repent or we'll punish it. That's how they did it in Salem in the seventeenth century, and that's how we'll do it now.

Twain Mark


Nothing is more admirable than the fortitude with which millionaires tolerate the disadvantages of their wealth.

Twain Mark


Toto, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore.

Twain Mark


A woman employs sincerity only when every other form of deception has failed.

Twain Mark


Take your work seriously but never take yourself seriously; and do not take what happens either to yourself or your work seriously.

Twain Mark


Always the dullness of the fool is the whetstone of the wits.

Twain Mark


Practically perfect people never permit sentiment to muddle their thinking.

Twain Mark


Beauty is one of the rare things which does not lead to doubt of God.

Twain Mark


Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich.

Twain Mark


Crime does not pay ... as well as politics.

Twain Mark


... it still remains true that as a set of cognitive beliefs about the existence of God in any recognizable sense continuous with the great systems of the past, religious doctrines constitute a speculative hypothesis of an extremely low order of prob

Twain Mark


I hate dying.

Twain Mark


Why are you doing this to me? Because knowledge is torture, and there must be awareness before there is change.

Twain Mark


Well, the handwriting is on the floor.

Twain Mark


What one fool can do, another can.

Twain Mark


Certain passages in several laws have always defied interpretation and the most inexplicable must be a matter of opinion. A judge of the Court of Session of Scotland has sent the editors of this book his candidate which reads, "In the Nuts (unground

Twain Mark


The 'A' is for content, the 'minus' is for not typing it. Don't ever do this to my eyes again.

Twain Mark


Where you stand depends on where you sit.

Twain Mark


He that bringeth a present, findeth the door open.

Twain Mark


Competitive fury is not always anger. It is the true missionary's courage and zeal in facing the possibility that one's best may not be enough.

Twain Mark


It is impossible to enjoy idling thoroughly unless one has plenty of work to do.

Twain Mark


Confucius say too much.

Twain Mark


Lack of money is the root of all evil.

Twain Mark


You are never given a wish without also being given the power to make it true. You may have to work for it, however.

Twain Mark


Leave no stone unturned.

Twain Mark


The only alliance I would make with the Women's Liberation Movement is in bed.

Twain Mark


Sho' they got to have it against the law. Shoot, ever'body git high, they wouldn't be nobody git up and feed the chickens. Hee-hee.

Twain Mark


The man with the best job in the country is the Vice President. All he has to do is get up every morning and say, "How's the President?"

Twain Mark


Rincewind looked down at him and grinned slowly. It was a wide, manic, and utterly humourless rictus. It was the sort of grin that is normally accompanied by small riverside birds wandering in and out, picking scraps out of the teeth.

Twain Mark


It is dangerous for a national candidate to say things that people might remember.

Twain Mark


I profoundly believe it takes a lot of practice to become a moral slob.

Twain Mark


What does it take for Americans to do great things; to go to the moon, to win wars, to dig canals linking oceans, to build railroads across a continent? In independent thought about this question, Neil Armstrong and I concluded that it takes a coinci

Twain Mark


Under any conditions, anywhere, whatever you are doing, there is some ordinance under which you can be booked.

Twain Mark


A Tale of Two Cities LITE(tm)

Twain Mark


I sometimes think that God, in creating man, somewhat overestimated his ability.

Twain Mark


The truth is rarely pure, and never simple.

Twain Mark


Christianity might be a good thing if anyone ever tried it.

Twain Mark


Education is the process of casting false pearls before real swine.

Twain Mark


The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax.

Twain Mark


Rome was not built in one day.

Twain Mark


What fools these mortals be.

Twain Mark


"Rights" is a fictional abstraction. No one has "Rights", neither machines nor flesh-and-blood. Persons... have opportunities, not rights, which they use or do not use.

Twain Mark


A prediction is worth twenty explanations.

Twain Mark


Fortune Documents the Great Legal Decisions: We think that we may take judicial notice of the fact that the term "bitch" may imply some feeling of endearment when applied to a female of the canine species but that it is seldom, if ever, so used whe

Twain Mark


A thing is not necessarily true because a man dies for it.

Twain Mark


A yawn is a silent shout.

Twain Mark


You climb to reach the summit, but once there, discover that all roads lead down.

Twain Mark





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If you think the problem is bad now, just wait until we've solved it.
Kasspe Arthur

deep thoughts of brillyant genius of human history
Twain Mark
 
 
 
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