When we jumped into Sicily, the units became separated, and I couldn't find anyone. Eventually I stumbled across two colonels, a major, three captains, two lieutenants, and one rifleman, and we secured the bridge. Never in the history of war have s

Plus ,ca change, plus c'est la m^eme chose. [The more things change, the more they remain the same.]

There seems no plan because it is all plan.

Life is a serious burden, which no thinking, humane person would wantonly inflict on someone else.

I was in accord with the system so long as it permitted me to function effectively.

He's a son-of-a-bitch, but he's our son-of-a-bitch.

One hundred women are not worth a single testicle.

Exceptions prove the rule, and wreck the budget.

Doctors and lawyers must go to school for years and years, often with little sleep and with great sacrifice to their first wives.

There are three rules for writing a novel. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are.

A public debt is a kind of anchor in the storm; but if the anchor be too heavy for the vessel, she will be sunk by that very weight which was intended for her preservation.

Another possible source of guidance for teenagers is television, but television's message has always been that the need for truth, wisdom and world peace pales by comparison with the need for a toothpaste that offers whiter teeth *___and* fresher

The adjective is the banana peel of the parts of speech.

Fraud is the homage that force pays to reason.

You can always pick up your needle and move to another groove.

The whole world is a scab. The point is to pick it constructively.

Never appeal to a man's "better nature." He may not have one. Invoking his self-interest gives you more leverage.

A team effort is a lot of people doing what I say.

I'm not sure I've even got the brains to be President.

Home is where the hurt is.

The longest part of the journey is said to be the passing of the gate.

Eeny, Meeny, Jelly Beanie, the spirits are about to speak!

No man is useless who has a friend, and if we are loved we are indispensable.

There's nothing to writing. All you do is sit at a typewriter and open a vein.

Someone did a study of the three most-often-heard phrases in New York City. One is "Hey, taxi." Two is, "What train do I take to get to Bloomingdale's?" And three is, "Don't worry. It's just a flesh wound."

The hatred of relatives is the most violent.

A man's house is his castle.

[Nuclear war] ... may not be desirable.

It's not enough to be Hungarian; you must have talent too.

Mirrors should reflect a little before throwing back images.

The liberals can understand everything but people who don't understand them.

Something unpleasant is coming when men are anxious to tell the truth.

He who despairs over an event is a coward, but he who holds hopes for the human condition is a fool.

If you want to understand your government, don't begin by reading the Constitution. It conveys precious little of the flavor of today's statecraft. Instead, read selected portions of the Washington telephone directory containing listings for all th

Briefly stated, the findings are that when presented with an array of data or a sequence of events in which they are instructed to discover an underlying order, subjects show strong tendencies to perceive order and causality in random arrays, to perc

How should they answer?

In my end is my beginning.

Too much is just enough.

My experience with government is when things are non-controversial, beautifully co-ordinated and all the rest, it must be that not much is going on.

Who goeth a-borrowing goeth a-sorrowing.

Getting kicked out of the American Bar Association is liked getting kicked out of the Book-of-the-Month Club.

Who's scruffy-looking?

Save a little money each month and at the end of the year you'll be surprised at how little you have.

There is no sin but ignorance.

If we suffer tamely a lawless attack upon our liberty, we encourage it, and involve others in our doom.

You can no more win a war than you can win an earthquake.

If you wish to be happy for one hour, get drunk. If you wish to be happy for three days, get married. If you wish to be happy for a month, kill your pig and eat it. If you wish to be happy forever, learn to fish.

Suffering alone exists, none who suffer; The deed there is, but no doer thereof; Nirvana is, but no one is seeking it; The Path there is, but none who travel it.

A game can by God repent or we'll punish it. That's how they did it in Salem in the seventeenth century, and that's how we'll do it now.

Nothing is more admirable than the fortitude with which millionaires tolerate the disadvantages of their wealth.

Toto, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore.

A woman employs sincerity only when every other form of deception has failed.

Take your work seriously but never take yourself seriously; and do not take what happens either to yourself or your work seriously.

Always the dullness of the fool is the whetstone of the wits.

Practically perfect people never permit sentiment to muddle their thinking.

Beauty is one of the rare things which does not lead to doubt of God.

Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich.

Crime does not pay ... as well as politics.

... it still remains true that as a set of cognitive beliefs about the existence of God in any recognizable sense continuous with the great systems of the past, religious doctrines constitute a speculative hypothesis of an extremely low order of prob

I hate dying.

Why are you doing this to me? Because knowledge is torture, and there must be awareness before there is change.

Well, the handwriting is on the floor.

What one fool can do, another can.

Certain passages in several laws have always defied interpretation and the most inexplicable must be a matter of opinion. A judge of the Court of Session of Scotland has sent the editors of this book his candidate which reads, "In the Nuts (unground

The 'A' is for content, the 'minus' is for not typing it. Don't ever do this to my eyes again.

Where you stand depends on where you sit.

He that bringeth a present, findeth the door open.

Competitive fury is not always anger. It is the true missionary's courage and zeal in facing the possibility that one's best may not be enough.

It is impossible to enjoy idling thoroughly unless one has plenty of work to do.

Confucius say too much.

Lack of money is the root of all evil.

You are never given a wish without also being given the power to make it true. You may have to work for it, however.

Leave no stone unturned.

The only alliance I would make with the Women's Liberation Movement is in bed.

Sho' they got to have it against the law. Shoot, ever'body git high, they wouldn't be nobody git up and feed the chickens. Hee-hee.

The man with the best job in the country is the Vice President. All he has to do is get up every morning and say, "How's the President?"

Rincewind looked down at him and grinned slowly. It was a wide, manic, and utterly humourless rictus. It was the sort of grin that is normally accompanied by small riverside birds wandering in and out, picking scraps out of the teeth.

It is dangerous for a national candidate to say things that people might remember.

I profoundly believe it takes a lot of practice to become a moral slob.

What does it take for Americans to do great things; to go to the moon, to win wars, to dig canals linking oceans, to build railroads across a continent? In independent thought about this question, Neil Armstrong and I concluded that it takes a coinci

Under any conditions, anywhere, whatever you are doing, there is some ordinance under which you can be booked.

A Tale of Two Cities LITE(tm)

I sometimes think that God, in creating man, somewhat overestimated his ability.

The truth is rarely pure, and never simple.

Christianity might be a good thing if anyone ever tried it.

Education is the process of casting false pearls before real swine.

The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax.

Rome was not built in one day.

What fools these mortals be.

"Rights" is a fictional abstraction. No one has "Rights", neither machines nor flesh-and-blood. Persons... have opportunities, not rights, which they use or do not use.

A prediction is worth twenty explanations.

Fortune Documents the Great Legal Decisions: We think that we may take judicial notice of the fact that the term "bitch" may imply some feeling of endearment when applied to a female of the canine species but that it is seldom, if ever, so used whe

A thing is not necessarily true because a man dies for it.

A yawn is a silent shout.

You climb to reach the summit, but once there, discover that all roads lead down.