Don't get mad, get even.

The flush toilet is the basis of Western civilization.

There is nothing so easy but that it becomes difficult when you do it reluctantly.

In Hollywood, if you don't have happiness, you send out for it.

Moneyliness is next to Godliness.

If a jury in a criminal trial stays out for more than twenty-four hours, it is certain to vote acquittal, save in those instances where it votes guilty.

There is no cure for birth and death other than to enjoy the interval.