Fear and loathing, my man, fear and loathing.

Beauty is one of the rare things which does not lead to doubt of God.

"Cable is not a luxury, since many areas have poor TV reception."

When one burns one's bridges, what a very nice fire it makes.

"Hi, I'm Preston A. Mantis, president of Consumers Retail Law Outlet. As you can see by my suit and the fact that I have all these books of equal height on the shelves behind me, I am a trained legal attorney. Do you have a car or a job? Do you ever

Just because everything is different doesn't mean anything has changed.

It's all right letting yourself go as long as you can let yourself back.

Sometimes a man who deserves to be looked down upon because he is a fool is despised only because he is a lawyer.

Littering is dumb.

Hain't we got all the fools in town on our side? And hain't that a big enough majority in any town?

Remember: Silly is a state of Mind, Stupid is a way of Life.

Advertising is a valuable economic factor because it is the cheapest way of selling goods, particularly if the goods are worthless.

If the church put in half the time on covetousness that it does on lust, this would be a better world.

Theology is an attempt to explain a subject by men who do not understand it. The intent is not to tell the truth but to satisfy the questioner.

Perhaps, after all, America never has been discovered. I myself would say that it had merely been detected.

If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars.

Let others praise ancient times; I am glad I was born in these.

Oh, I don't blame Congress. If I had $600 billion at my disposal, I'd be irresponsible, too.

No matter whether th' constitution follows th' flag or not, th' supreme court follows th' iliction returns.

If I could reach, I'd never leave the house.

When you're in command, command.

He liked fishing a little too much, and he believed that work was something a man did when he had to. He had always been able to get along well enough without it, especially for the last couple of years.

My tears stuck in their little ducts, refusing to be jerked.

A people living under the perpetual menace of war and invasion is very easy to govern. It demands no social reforms. It does not haggle over expenditures on armaments and military equipment. It pays without discussion, it ruins itself, and that is

The bone-chilling scream split the warm summer night in two, the first half being before the scream when it was fairly balmy and calm and pleasant, the second half still balmy and quite pleasant for those who hadn't heard the scream at all, but not c

Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the person involved.

I don't have any solution but I certainly admire the problem.

If a shameless woman expects to be defiled and then dies of her fierce love because you do not consent, will chastity also be homicide?

CF&C stole it, fair and square.

Something unpleasant is coming when men are anxious to tell the truth.

Circumstances rule men; men do not rule circumstances.

In Hollywood, all marriages are happy. It's trying to live together afterwards that causes the problems.

Every country has the government it deserves.

A is for Apple.

Authors (and perhaps columnists) eventually rise to the top of whatever depths they were once able to plumb.

Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines.

Tax reform means "Don't tax you, don't tax me, tax that fellow behind the tree."

Executive ability is deciding quickly and getting somebody else to do the work.

"All snakes who wish to remain in Ireland will please raise their right hands."