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The Least Successful Executions History has furnished us with two executioners worthy of attention. The first performed in Sydney in Australia. In 1803 three attempts were made to hang a Mr. Joseph Samuels. On the first two of these the rope snap

Oscar Wilde


What is the robbing of a bank compared to the founding of a bank?

Oscar Wilde


A woman occasionally is quite a serviceable substitute for masturbation. It takes an abundance of imagination, to be sure.

Wilde Oscar


Power corrupts. Absolute power is kind of neat.

Wilde Oscar


Never laugh at live dragons.

Wilde Oscar


Things are not always what they seem.

Wilde Oscar


If a man loses his reverence for any part of life, he will lose his reverence for all of life.

Wilde Oscar


What one fool can do, another can.

Wilde Oscar


You may my glories and my state dispose, But not my griefs; still am I king of those.

Wilde Oscar


Men's skin is different from women's skin. It is usually bigger, and it has more snakes tattooed on it. Also, if you examine a woman's skin very closely, inch by inch, starting at her shapely ankles, then gently tracing the slender curve of her cal

Wilde Oscar


Let's say your wedding ring falls into your toaster, and when you stick your hand in to retrieve it, you suffer Pain and Suffering as well as Mental Anguish. You would sue: * The toaster manufacturer, for failure to include, in the instructions

Wilde Oscar


The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.

Wilde Oscar


Who dat who say "who dat" when I say "who dat"?

Wilde Oscar


You are never given a wish without also being given the power to make it true. You may have to work for it, however.

Wilde Oscar


Practice yourself what you preach.

Wilde Oscar


After all, all he did was string together a lot of old, well-known quotations.

Wilde Oscar


Sometimes a man who deserves to be looked down upon because he is a fool is despised only because he is a lawyer.

Wilde Oscar


There's no justice in this world.

Wilde Oscar


Wagner's music is better than it sounds.

Wilde Oscar


"It's kind of fun to do the impossible."

Wilde Oscar


All phone calls are obscene.

Wilde Oscar


Extreme fear can neither fight nor fly.

Wilde Oscar


Death is life's way of telling you you've been fired.

Wilde Oscar


Nobody can be exactly like me. Sometimes even I have trouble doing it.

Wilde Oscar


There are no physicists in the hottest parts of hell, because the existence of a "hottest part" implies a temperature difference, and any marginally competent physicist would immediately use this to run a heat engine and make some other part of hell

Wilde Oscar


The price one pays for pursuing any profession, or calling, is an intimate knowledge of its ugly side.

Wilde Oscar


I steal.

Wilde Oscar


A witty saying proves nothing.

Wilde Oscar


Take care of the luxuries and the necessities will take care of themselves.

Wilde Oscar


Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamp-post how it feels about dogs.

Wilde Oscar


If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

Wilde Oscar


A man said to the Universe: "Sir, I exist!" "However," replied the Universe, "the fact has not created in me a sense of obligation."

Wilde Oscar


Indeed, the first noble truth of Buddhism, usually translated as `all life is suffering,' is more accurately rendered `life is filled with a sense of pervasive unsatisfactoriness.'

Wilde Oscar


Judges, as a class, display, in the matter of arranging alimony, that reckless generosity which is found only in men who are giving away someone else's cash.

Wilde Oscar


What good is an obscenity trial except to popularize literature?

Wilde Oscar


Pity the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.

Wilde Oscar


Dustin Farnum: Why, yesterday, I had the audience glued to their seats! Oliver Herford: Wonderful! Wonderful! Clever of you to think of it!

Wilde Oscar


Dying is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down.

Wilde Oscar


Anyone who knows history, particularly the history of Europe, will, I think, recognize that the domination of education or of government by any one particular religious faith is never a happy arrangement for the people.

Wilde Oscar





Random Quote


Animals can be driven crazy by putting too many in too small a pen. Homo sapiens is the only animal that voluntarily does this to himself.
Long Lazarus

deep thoughts of brillyant genius of human history
Wilde Oscar
 
 
 
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