Never promise more than you can perform.

Progress was all right. Only it went on too long.

Why am I so soft in the middle when the rest of my life is so hard?

Watch your mouth, kid, or you'll find yourself floating home.

Age before beauty; and pearls before swine.

Even the best of friends cannot attend each other's funeral.

Never have so many understood so little about so much.

The road to ruin is always in good repair, and the travellers pay the expense of it.

Wishing without work is like fishing without bait.

I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday and I love today.

Too much of everything is just enough.

Competence, like truth, beauty, and contact lenses, is in the eye of the beholder.

Waste not fresh tears over old griefs.

It is a lesson which all history teaches wise men, to put trust in ideas, and not in circumstances.

She applies her lipstick in spite of its contents: "greasy rouge, containing crushed and dried insect corpses for coloring, beeswax for stiffness, and olive oil to help it flow - the latter having the unfortunate tendency to go rancid several hours a

It is so stupid of modern civilisation to have given up believing in the devil when he is the only explanation of it.

We're constantly being bombarded by insulting and humiliating music, which people are making for you the way they make those Wonder Bread products. Just as food can be bad for your system, music can be bad for your spirtual and emotional feelings. I

He that bringeth a present, findeth the door open.

The 'A' is for content, the 'minus' is for not typing it. Don't ever do this to my eyes again.

Dear Mister Language Person: What is the purpose of the apostrophe? Answer: The apostrophe is used mainly in hand-lettered small business signs to alert the reader than an "S" is coming up at the end of a word, as in: WE DO NOT EXCEPT PERSONAL CHEC

"Necessity is the mother of invention" is a silly proverb. "Necessity is the mother of futile dodges" is much nearer the truth.

An ounce of hypocrisy is worth a pound of ambition.

I BET WHAT HAPPENED was they discovered fire and invented the wheel on the same day. Then that night, they burned the wheel.

If at first you don't succeed, you're doing about average.

One hundred women are not worth a single testicle.

But the greatest Electrical Pioneer of them all was Thomas Edison, who was a brilliant inventor despite the fact that he had little formal education and lived in New Jersey. Edison's first major invention in 1877, was the phonograph, which could soo

The `loner' may be respected, but he is always resented by his colleagues, for he seems to be passing a critical judgment on them, when he may be simply making a limiting statement about himself.

Eggheads unite! You have nothing to lose but your yolks.

The trouble with the rat-race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.

The superfluous is very necessary.

If we could sell our experiences for what they cost us, we would all be millionaires.

Sometimes a man who deserves to be looked down upon because he is a fool is despised only because he is a lawyer.

In "King Henry VI, Part II," Shakespeare has Dick Butcher suggest to his fellow anti-establishment rabble-rousers, "The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers." That action may be extreme but a similar sentiment was expressed by Thomas K. Co

Thou hast seen nothing yet.

So you think that money is the root of all evil. Have you ever asked what is the root of money?

The most difficult thing in the world is to know how to do a thing and to watch someone else doing it wrong, without commenting.

A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step.

A furore Normanorum libera nos, O Domine! [From the fury of the norsemen deliver us, O Lord!]

Education is the process of casting false pearls before real swine.