I steal.

To jaw-jaw is better than to war-war.

Always the dullness of the fool is the whetstone of the wits.

One friend in a lifetime is much; two are many; three are hardly possible. Friendship needs a certain parallelism of life, a community of thought, a rivalry of aim.

One good turn deserves another.

Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose.

Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.

"Plaese porrf raed."

The world is full of people who have never, since childhood, met an open doorway with an open mind.

Only those who leisurely approach that which the masses are busy about can be busy about that which the masses take leisurely.

Do you know the difference between education and experience? Education is what you get when you read the fine print; experience is what you get when you don't.

... but as records of courts and justice are admissible, it can easily be proved that powerful and malevolent magicians once existed and were a scourge to mankind. The evidence (including confession) upon which certain women were convicted of witch

Something unpleasant is coming when men are anxious to tell the truth.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Confucius say too much.

Education is the process of casting false pearls before real swine.

Who dat who say "who dat" when I say "who dat"?

Life being what it is, one dreams of revenge.

Mental power tended to corrupt, and absolute intelligence tended to corrupt absolutely, until the victim eschewed violence entirely in favor of smart solutions to stupid problems.

The two oldest professions in the world have been ruined by amateurs.

The best portion of a good man's life, his little, nameless, unremembered acts of kindness and love.

Know what I hate most? Rhetorical questions.

Perhaps the remembrance of these things will prove a source of future pleasure.

I dote on his very absence.

Chance is perhaps the work of God when He did not want to sign.

From a certain point onward there is no longer any turning back. That is the point that must be reached.

Under a government which imprisons any unjustly, the true place for a just man is also a prison.

Odets, where is thy sting?

The only thing to do with good advice is pass it on. It is never any use to oneself.

He has not acquired a fortune; the fortune has acquired him.

I'll never get off this planet.

My religion consists of a humble admiration of the illimitable superior spirit who reveals himself in the slight details we are able to perceive with our frail and feeble mind.

The first Rotarian was the first man to call John the Baptist "Jack."

People who have what they want are very fond of telling people who haven't what they want that they don't want it.

Life is too short to be taken seriously.

Furious activity is no substitute for understanding.

For certain people, after fifty, litigation takes the place of sex.

Better the prince of some inferior court, Than second, or less, in beatific light.

Learning without thought is labor lost; thought without learning is perilous.