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I have defined the hundred per cent American as ninety-nine per cent an idiot.

Oscar Wilde


You can never do just one thing.

Oscar Wilde


Perhaps, after all, America never has been discovered. I myself would say that it had merely been detected.

Wilde Oscar


Repartee is something we think of twenty-four hours too late.

Wilde Oscar


"I only touch base with reality on an as-needed basis!"

Wilde Oscar


I used to be disgusted, now I find I'm just amused.

Wilde Oscar


It's is not, it isn't ain't, and it's it's, not its, if you mean it is. If you don't, it's its. Then too, it's hers. It isn't her's. It isn't our's either. It's ours, and likewise yours and theirs.

Wilde Oscar


What you don't know won't help you much either.

Wilde Oscar


The two most beautiful words in the English language are "Cheque Enclosed."

Wilde Oscar


The final delusion is the belief that one has lost all delusions.

Wilde Oscar


When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

Wilde Oscar


Writing is easy; all you do is sit staring at the blank sheet of paper until drops of blood form on your forehead.

Wilde Oscar


Ed Sullivan will be around as long as someone else has talent.

Wilde Oscar


No poet or novelist wishes he was the only one who ever lived, but most of them wish they were the only one alive, and quite a number fondly believe their wish has been granted.

Wilde Oscar


Lo! Men have become the tool of their tools.

Wilde Oscar


Brahma said: Well, after hearing ten thousand explanations, a fool is no wiser. But an intelligent man needs only two thousand five hundred.

Wilde Oscar


It's pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness; poverty and wealth have both failed.

Wilde Oscar


In Hollywood, all marriages are happy. It's trying to live together afterwards that causes the problems.

Wilde Oscar


It is when I struggle to be brief that I become obscure.

Wilde Oscar


You mentioned your name as if I should recognize it, but beyond the obvious facts that you are a bachelor, a solicitor, a freemason, and an asthmatic, I know nothing whatever about you.

Wilde Oscar


Suffering alone exists, none who suffer; The deed there is, but no doer thereof; Nirvana is, but no one is seeking it; The Path there is, but none who travel it.

Wilde Oscar


The better part of valor is discretion.

Wilde Oscar


The human animal differs from the lesser primates in his passion for lists of "Ten Best".

Wilde Oscar


With Congress, every time they make a joke it's a law; and every time they make a law it's a joke.

Wilde Oscar


So little time, so little to do.

Wilde Oscar


Satire is tragedy plus time.

Wilde Oscar


If a man stay away from his wife for seven years, the law presumes the separation to have killed him; yet according to our daily experience, it might well prolong his life.

Wilde Oscar


The greatest productive force is human selfishness.

Wilde Oscar


As failures go, attempting to recall the past is like trying to grasp the meaning of existence. Both make one feel like a baby clutching at a basketball: one's palms keep sliding off.

Wilde Oscar


Darth Vader! Only you would be so bold!

Wilde Oscar


The cart has no place where a fifth wheel could be used.

Wilde Oscar


Look ere ye leap.

Wilde Oscar


A continuing flow of paper is sufficient to continue the flow of paper.

Wilde Oscar


This is an especially good time for you vacationers who plan to fly, because the Reagan administration, as part of the same policy under which it recently sold Yellowstone National Park to Wayne Newton, has "deregulated" the airline industry. What t

Wilde Oscar


It is common sense to take a method and try it. If it fails, admit it frankly and try another. But above all, try something.

Wilde Oscar


All is well that ends well.

Wilde Oscar


We have lingered long enough on the shores of the Cosmic Ocean.

Wilde Oscar


A businessman is a hybrid of a dancer and a calculator.

Wilde Oscar


"Well, it's garish, ugly, and derelicts have used it for a toilet. The rides are dilapidated to the point of being lethal, and could easily maim or kill innocent little children." "Oh, so you don't like it?" "Don't like it? I'm CRAZY for it."

Wilde Oscar





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deep thoughts of brillyant genius of human history
Wilde Oscar
 
 
 
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