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A journey of a thousand miles starts under one's feet.

Attorney General William


An aphorism is never exactly true; it is either a half-truth or one-and-a-half truths.

Blake William


I trust the first lion he meets will do his duty.

Blake William


People who develop the habit of thinking of themselves as world citizens are fulfilling the first requirement of sanity in our time.

Blake William


For a light heart lives long.

Blake William


Dianetics is a milestone for man comparable to his discovery of fire and superior to his invention of the wheel and the arch.

Blake William


The `loner' may be respected, but he is always resented by his colleagues, for he seems to be passing a critical judgment on them, when he may be simply making a limiting statement about himself.

Buckley William F.


Who dat who say "who dat" when I say "who dat"?

Buckley William F.


A is for Apple.

Burroughs William


Only that in you which is me can hear what I'm saying.

Burroughs William S.


Any philosophy that can be put "in a nutshell" belongs there.

Channing William Ellery


Whoever has lived long enough to find out what life is, knows how deep a debt of gratitude we owe to Adam, the first great benefactor of our race. He brought death into the world.

Clarence Darrow to William


VII. Certain bodies can pass through solid walls painted to resemble tunnel entrances; others cannot. This trompe l'oeil inconsistency has baffled generations, but at least it is known that whoever paints an entrance on a wall's surface to

Faulkner William


A kind of Batman of contemporary letters.

Faulkner William


One hundred women are not worth a single testicle.

Garrison William Lloyd


Good government never depends upon laws, but upon the personal qualities of those who govern. The machinery of government is always subordinate to the will of those who administer that machinery. The most important element of government, therefore,

Halsey Admiral William


I'm not sure I've even got the brains to be President.

Hazlitt William


All religions issue Bibles against Satan, and say the most injurious things against him, but we never hear his side.

Hodder-Williams Christopher


Haste makes waste.

James William


Objectivity is to a newspaper what virtue is to a woman.

James William


You tread upon my patience.

LeoGrande William


were found to be wearing neckwear that was tighter than their neck circumference. The visual discrimination of the 22 subjects was evaluated using a critical flicker frequency (CFF) test. Results of the CFF test indicated that tight neckwear signifi

Morris William


"Plaese porrf raed."

Orton William


None love the bearer of bad news.

Penn William


Real wealth can only increase.

Shake William


The sooner you make your first 5000 mistakes, the sooner you will be able to correct them.

Shake William


Nothing in life is so exhilarating as to be shot at without result.

Shake William


An old Jewish man reads about Einstein's theory of relativity in the newspaper and asks his scientist grandson to explain it to him. "Well, zayda, it's sort of like this. Einstein says that if you're having your teeth drilled without Novocain, a mi

Shake William


Rembrandt is not to be compared in the painting of character with our extraordinarily gifted English artist, Mr. Rippingille.

Shake William


Advertising is a valuable economic factor because it is the cheapest way of selling goods, particularly if the goods are worthless.

Shake William


Democracy is a form of government in which it is permitted to wonder aloud what the country could do under first-class management.

Shake William


I'll burn my books.

Shake William


Paradise is exactly like where you are right now ... only much, much better.

Shake William


Eeny, Meeny, Jelly Beanie, the spirits are about to speak!

Shake William


Blessed are the young, for they shall inherit the national debt.

Shake William


Hark ye, Clinker, you are a most notorious offender. You stand convicted of sickness, hunger, wretchedness, and want.

Shakes William


An Englishman never enjoys himself, except for a noble purpose.

Shakes William


"The chain which can be yanked is not the eternal chain."

Shakesp William


A critic is a bundle of biases held loosely together by a sense of taste.

Shakesp William


Patch griefs with proverbs.

Shakesp William


The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence.

Shakespear William


Sho' they got to have it against the law. Shoot, ever'body git high, they wouldn't be nobody git up and feed the chickens. Hee-hee.

Shakespear William


What excuses stand in your way? How can you eliminate them?

Shakespear William


Some men are heterosexual, and some are bisexual, and some men don't think about sex at all... they become lawyers.

Shakespear William


I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark.

Shakespear William


Hotels are tired of getting ripped off. I checked into a hotel and they had towels from my house.

Shakespeare William


A platitude is simply a truth repeated till people get tired of hearing it.

Shakespeare William


The health of a democratic society may be measured by the quality of functions performed by private citizens.

Shakespeare William


A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats.

Shakespeare William


Circumstances rule men; men do not rule circumstances.

Shakespeare William


Living in New York City gives people real incentives to want things that nobody else wants.

Shakespeare William


We should realize that a city is better off with bad laws, so long as they remain fixed, then with good laws that are constantly being altered, that the lack of learning combined with sound common sense is more helpful than the kind of cleverness th

Shakespeare William


The world's great men have not commonly been great scholars, nor its great scholars great men.

Shakespeare William


"I wonder", he said to himself, "what's in a book while it's closed. Oh, I know it's full of letters printed on paper, but all the same, something must be happening, because as soon as I open it, there's a whole story with people I don't know yet

Shakespeare William


A woman employs sincerity only when every other form of deception has failed.

Shakespeare William


We tried to close Ohio's borders and ran into a Constitutional problem. There's a provision in the Constitution that says you can't close your borders to interstate commerce, and garbage is a form of interstate commerce.

Shakespeare William


Everything takes longer, costs more, and is less useful.

Shakespeare William


There is no doubt that my lawyer is honest. For example, when he filed his income tax return last year, he declared half of his salary as 'unearned income.'

Shakespeare William


A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats.

Shakespeare William


"... an experienced, industrious, ambitious, and often quite often picturesque liar."

Shakespeare William


Something's rotten in the state of Denmark.

Shakespeare William


Just close your eyes, tap your heels together three times, and think to yourself, `There's no place like home.'

Shakespeare William


Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.

Shakespeare William


All the waters of the earth are in the armpit of the Great Frog.

White William Allen


Plots are like girdles. Hidden, they hold your interest; revealed, they're of no interest except to fetishists. Like girdles, they attempt to contain an uncontainable experience.

White William Allen


It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle if it is lightly greased.

William


The absurd is the essential concept and the first truth.

William Gibson


Truth never comes into the world but like a bastard, to the ignominy of him that brought her birth.

William S. Paley


Long ago I proposed that unsuccessful candidates for the Presidency be quietly hanged, as a matter of public sanitation and decorum. The sight of their grief must have a very evil effect upon the young.

William Shakespeare


I shot an arrow in to the air, and it stuck.

William Shakespeare


Princeton's taste is sweet like a strawberry tart. Harvard's is a subtle taste, like whiskey, coffee, or tobacco. It may even be a bad habit, for all I know.

William Shakespeare


Crito, I owe a cock to Asclepius; will you remember to pay the debt?

William Shakespeare


No good deed goes unpunished.

William Shakespeare


If a thing's worth having, it's worth cheating for.

Williams H.H.


The very first essential for success is a perpetually constant and regular employment of violence.

Williams Robin


War spares not the brave, but the cowardly.

Williams Tennessee


[Americans] are a race of convicts and ought to be thankful for anything we allow them short of hanging.

Williams Robin


Grief can take care of itself; but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with.

Williamson Ren'e de Visme


"Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company."

Williamson Nicol


I see a good deal of talk from Washington about lowering taxes. I hope they do get 'em lowered down enough so people can afford to pay 'em.

Williamson Dr. Paul


"What's this? Trix? Aunt! Trix? You? You're after the prize! What is it?" He picked up the box and studied the back. "A glow-in-the-dark squid! Have you got it out of there yet?" He tilted the box, angling the little colored balls of cereal

Yeats William Butler





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Persons attempting to find a motive in this narrative will be prosecuted; persons attempting to find a moral in it will be banished; persons attempting to find a plot in it will be shot. By Order of the Author
Twain Mark

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