As to Jesus of Nazareth... I think the system of Morals and his Religion, as he left them to us, the best the World ever saw or is likely to see; but I apprehend it has received various corrupting Changes, and I have, with most of the present Dissent

If at first you don't succeed, you're doing about average.

Catharsis is something I associate with pornography and crossword puzzles.

Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the person involved.

So little time, so little to do.

The road to Hades is easy to travel.

Some women should be beaten regularly, like gongs.

Politicians should read science fiction, not westerns and detective stories.

Time is the most valuable thing a man can spend.

Certain passages in several laws have always defied interpretation and the most inexplicable must be a matter of opinion. A judge of the Court of Session of Scotland has sent the editors of this book his candidate which reads, "In the Nuts (unground

Prisons are built with stones of Law, brothels with bricks of Religion.

We know next to nothing about virtually everything. It is not necessary to know the origin of the universe; it is necessary to want to know. Civilization depends not on any particular knowledge, but on the disposition to crave knowledge.

Do not seek death; death will find you. But seek the road which makes death a fulfillment.

When there are two conflicting versions of the story, the wise course is to believe the one in which people appear at their worst.

There are three rules for writing a novel. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are.

History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives.

Divorce is a game played by lawyers.

We'll try to cooperate fully with the IRS, because, as citizens, we feel a strong patriotic duty not to go to jail.

In childhood a woman must be subject to her father; in youth to her husband; when her husband is dead, to her sons. A woman must never be free of subjugation.

I am myself plus my circumstance, and if I do not save it, I cannot save myself.

If you've seen one redwood, you've seen them all.