If all the world's a stage, I want to operate the trap door.

Paradise is exactly like where you are right now ... only much, much better.

Dying is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down.

The day advanced as if to light some work of mine; it was morning, and lo! now it is evening, and nothing memorable is accomplished.

Advertising is the rattling of a stick inside a swill bucket.

Several years ago, some smart businessmen had an idea: Why not build a big store where a do-it-yourselfer could get everything he needed at reasonable prices? Then they decided, nah, the hell with that, let's build a home center. And before long ho

"World conquerors sometimes become fools, but fools never become world conquerors."

Today's thrilling story has been brought to you by Mushies, the great new cereal that gets soggy even without milk or cream. Join us soon for more spectacular adventure starring... Tippy, the Wonder Dog!

Time goes, you say? Ah no! Time stays, *we* go.

Man must shape his tools lest they shape him.

I consider a new device or technology to have been culturally accepted when it has been used to commit a murder.

How can you prove whether at this moment we are sleeping, and all our thoughts are a dream; or whether we are awake, and talking to one another in the waking state?

"I gained nothing at all from Supreme Enlightenment, and for that very reason it is called Supreme Enlightenment."

Never buy from a rich salesman.

HR 3128. Omnibus Budget Reconciliation, Fiscal 1986. Martin, R-Ill., motion that the House recede from its disagreement to the Senate amendment making changes in the bill to reduce fiscal 1986 deficits. The Senate amendment was an amendment to the

The lawgiver, of all beings, most owes the law allegiance. He of all men should behave as though the law compelled him. But it is the universal weakness of mankind that what we are given to administer we presently imagine we own.

VI: A hungry dog hunts best. A hungrier dog hunts even better. VII: Decreased business base increases overhead. So does increased business base. VIII: The most unsuccessful four years in the education of a cost-estimator is fifth grade ari

The superfluous is very necessary.

Eighteen goddess-like daughters are not equal to one son with a hump.

Lassie looked brilliant, in part because the farm family she lived with was made up of idiots. Remember? One of them was always getting pinned under the tractor, and Lassie was always rushing back to the farmhouse to alert the other ones. She'd w

If we see the light at the end of the tunnel, it's the light of an oncoming train.