Education is the process of casting false pearls before real swine.

Life is the living you do, Death is the living you don't do.

The superior man understands what is right; the inferior man understands what will sell.

The salary of the chief executive of the large corporation is not a market award for achievement. It is frequently in the nature of a warm personal gesture by the individual to himself.

To generalize is to be an idiot.

Life is too short to be taken seriously.

Happiness isn't something you experience; it's something you remember.

Who's scruffy-looking?

One good turn deserves another.

A woman takes off her claim to respect along with her garments.

Education is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember from time to time that nothing that is worth knowing can be taught.

Facts, apart from their relationships, are like labels on empty bottles.

I will make you shorter by the head.

My father, a good man, told me, "Never lose your ignorance; you cannot replace it."

Receiving a million dollars tax free will make you feel better than being flat broke and having a stomach ache.

There is a natural hootchy-kootchy to a goldfish.

The Law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich, as well as the poor, to sleep under the bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread.

The longest part of the journey is said to be the passing of the gate.

Honesty is for the most part less profitable than dishonesty.

Nonsense and beauty have close connections.

When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.