Nothing makes one so vain as being told that one is a sinner. Conscience makes egotists of us all.

We all live in a state of ambitious poverty.

Standards are different for all things, so the standard set by man is by no means the only 'certain' standard. If you mistake what is relative for something certain, you have strayed far from the ultimate truth.

The optimist thinks that this is the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist knows it.

If a shameless woman expects to be defiled and then dies of her fierce love because you do not consent, will chastity also be homicide?

Never appeal to a man's "better nature." He may not have one. Invoking his self-interest gives you more leverage.

Interesting poll results reported in today's New York Post: people on the street in midtown Manhattan were asked whether they approved of the US invasion of Grenada. Fifty-three percent said yes; 39 percent said no; and 8 percent said "Gimme a quart

People in general do not willingly read if they have anything else to amuse them.

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

Don't get mad, get even.

No bird soars too high if he soars with his own wings.

Trifles make perfection, and perfection is no trifle.

What we see depends on mainly what we look for.

Most general statements are false, including this one.

The nearer to the church, the further from God.

I went to my mother and told her I intended to commence a different life. I asked for and obtained her blessing and at once commenced the career of a robber.

Pauca sed matura. [Few but excellent.]

Yield to Temptation ... it may not pass your way again.

Gay shlafen: Yiddish for "go to sleep". Now doesn't "gay shlafen" have a softer, more soothing sound than the harsh, staccato "go to sleep"? Listen to the difference: "Go to sleep, you little wretch!" ... "Gay shlafen, darling." Obvious, isn't

I would like to electrocute everyone who uses the word 'fair' in connection with income tax policies.

The worst cliques are those which consist of one man.