When we are planning for posterity, we ought to remember that virtue is not hereditary.

If we don't survive, we don't do anything else.

[Maturity consists in the discovery that] there comes a critical moment where everything is reversed, after which the point becomes to understand more and more that there is something which cannot be understood.

If a man loses his reverence for any part of life, he will lose his reverence for all of life.

With Congress, every time they make a joke it's a law; and every time they make a law it's a joke.

It is not doing the thing we like to do, but liking the thing we have to do, that makes life blessed.

The Anglo-Saxon conscience does not prevent the Anglo-Saxon from sinning, it merely prevents him from enjoying his sin.

Those who have had no share in the good fortunes of the mighty Often have a share in their misfortunes.

There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy.

Music in the soul can be heard by the universe.

Reality is bad enough, why should I tell the truth?

I have defined the hundred per cent American as ninety-nine per cent an idiot.

Life is like a sewer. What you get out of it depends on what you put into it.

Patch griefs with proverbs.

You have to run as fast as you can just to stay where you are. If you want to get anywhere, you'll have to run much faster.

The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax.

Gay shlafen: Yiddish for "go to sleep". Now doesn't "gay shlafen" have a softer, more soothing sound than the harsh, staccato "go to sleep"? Listen to the difference: "Go to sleep, you little wretch!" ... "Gay shlafen, darling." Obvious, isn't

When in doubt, have a man come through the door with a gun in his hand.

Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. My advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.

Indeed, the first noble truth of Buddhism, usually translated as `all life is suffering,' is more accurately rendered `life is filled with a sense of pervasive unsatisfactoriness.'