The human brain is a wonderful thing. It starts working the moment you are born, and never stops until you stand up to speak in public.

No two persons ever read the same book.

Ed Sullivan will be around as long as someone else has talent.

... Our second completely true news item was sent to me by Mr. H. Boyce Connell Jr. of Atlanta, Ga., where he is involved in a law firm. One thing I like about the South is, folks there care about tradition. If somebody gets handed a name like "H.

Nothing succeeds like the appearance of success.

There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?

The last vestiges of the old Republic have been swept away.

Being a miner, as soon as you're too old and tired and sick and stupid to do your job properly, you have to go, where the very opposite applies with the judges.

Exceptions prove the rule, and wreck the budget.

God is the tangential point between zero and infinity.

When the blind lead the blind they will both fall over the cliff.

If you have to ask what jazz is, you'll never know.

Even the best of friends cannot attend each other's funeral.

Like ya know? Rock 'N Roll is an esoteric language that unlocks the creativity chambers in people's brains, and like totally activates their essential hipness, which of course is like totally necessary for saving the earth, like because the first th

Don't tell me how hard you work. Tell me how much you get done.

You can observe a lot just by watching.

Campus sidewalks never exist as the straightest line between two points.

They can't stop us... we're on a mission from God!

Sometimes a man who deserves to be looked down upon because he is a fool is despised only because he is a lawyer.