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Maryel brought her bat into Exit once and started whacking people on the dance floor. Now everyone's doing it. It's called grand slam dancing.

Allen Woody


A critic is a bundle of biases held loosely together by a sense of taste.

Allen Woody


On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does.

Allen Woody


The superpowers often behave like two heavily armed blind men feeling their way around a room, each believing himself in mortal peril from the other, whom he assumes to have perfect vision. Each tends to ascribe to the other side a consistency, fors

Allen Woody


Free Speech Is The Right To Shout 'Theater' In A Crowded Fire.

Allen Woody


Television is now so desperately hungry for material that it is scraping the top of the barrel.

Allen Woody


Nothing is so firmly believed as that which we least know.

Allen Woody


I played lead guitar in a band called The Federal Duck, which is the kind of name that was popular in the '60s as a result of controlled substances being in widespread use. Back then, there were no restrictions, in terms of talent, on who could make

Allen Woody


Would that my hand were as swift as my tongue.

Allen Woody


Exceptions prove the rule, and wreck the budget.

Allen Woody


If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library?

Allen Woody


He who makes a beast of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man.

Allen Woody


We are going to give a little something, a few little years more, to socialism, because socialism is defunct. It dies all by itself. The bad thing is that socialism, being a victim of its ... Did I say socialism?

Allen Woody


Hating the Yankees is as American as pizza pie, unwed mothers and cheating on your income tax.

Allen Woody


I found Rome a city of bricks and left it a city of marble.

Allen Woody


A woman occasionally is quite a serviceable substitute for masturbation. It takes an abundance of imagination, to be sure.

Allen Woody


He jests at scars who never felt a wound.

Allen Woody


Somehow I reached excess without ever noticing when I was passing through satisfaction.

Woody Allen


Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamp-post how it feels about dogs.

Woody Allen


Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

Woody Allen





Random Quote


October. This is one of the peculiarly dangerous months to speculate in stocks in. The others are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, December, August, and February.
Twain Mark

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Woody Allen
 
 
 
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