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The first myth of management is that it exists. The second myth of management is that success equals skill.

Allen Woody


It's always darkest just before the lights go out.

Allen Woody


God is really only another artist. He invented the giraffe, the elephant and the cat. He has no real style, He just goes on trying other things.

Allen Woody


If you sell diamonds, you cannot expect to have many customers. But a diamond is a diamond even if there are no customers.

Allen Woody


Satire is what closes Saturday night.

Allen Woody


All generalizations are false, including this one.

Allen Woody


An ounce of mother is worth a ton of priest.

Allen Woody


Lookie, lookie, here comes cookie...

Allen Woody


This wasn't just plain terrible, this was fancy terrible. This was terrible with raisins in it.

Allen Woody


Life sucks, but death doesn't put out at all.

Allen Woody


Goals... Plans... they're fantasies, they're part of a dream world...

Allen Woody


Receiving a million dollars tax free will make you feel better than being flat broke and having a stomach ache.

Allen Woody


Flame on!

Allen Woody


were found to be wearing neckwear that was tighter than their neck circumference. The visual discrimination of the 22 subjects was evaluated using a critical flicker frequency (CFF) test. Results of the CFF test indicated that tight neckwear signifi

Allen Woody


A snake lurks in the grass.

Allen Woody


Coincidences are spiritual puns.

Allen Woody


The day advanced as if to light some work of mine; it was morning, and lo! now it is evening, and nothing memorable is accomplished.

Allen Woody


"I wonder", he said to himself, "what's in a book while it's closed. Oh, I know it's full of letters printed on paper, but all the same, something must be happening, because as soon as I open it, there's a whole story with people I don't know yet

Woody Allen


Inglish Spocken Hier: some mangled translations Sign on a cabin door of a Soviet Black Sea cruise liner: Helpsavering apparata in emergings behold many whistles! Associate the stringing apparata about the bosums and meet behind, flee then t

Woody Allen


"Spare no expense to save money on this one."

Woody Allen





Random Quote


Catholicism has changed tremendously in the recent years. Now when Communion is served there is also a salad bar.
Marr Bill

deep thoughts of brillyant genius of human history
Woody Allen
 
 
 
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