Maryel brought her bat into Exit once and started whacking people on the dance floor. Now everyone's doing it. It's called grand slam dancing.

A critic is a bundle of biases held loosely together by a sense of taste.

On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does.

The superpowers often behave like two heavily armed blind men feeling their way around a room, each believing himself in mortal peril from the other, whom he assumes to have perfect vision. Each tends to ascribe to the other side a consistency, fors

Free Speech Is The Right To Shout 'Theater' In A Crowded Fire.

Television is now so desperately hungry for material that it is scraping the top of the barrel.

Nothing is so firmly believed as that which we least know.

I played lead guitar in a band called The Federal Duck, which is the kind of name that was popular in the '60s as a result of controlled substances being in widespread use. Back then, there were no restrictions, in terms of talent, on who could make

Would that my hand were as swift as my tongue.

Exceptions prove the rule, and wreck the budget.

If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library?

He who makes a beast of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man.

We are going to give a little something, a few little years more, to socialism, because socialism is defunct. It dies all by itself. The bad thing is that socialism, being a victim of its ... Did I say socialism?

Hating the Yankees is as American as pizza pie, unwed mothers and cheating on your income tax.

I found Rome a city of bricks and left it a city of marble.

A woman occasionally is quite a serviceable substitute for masturbation. It takes an abundance of imagination, to be sure.

He jests at scars who never felt a wound.

Somehow I reached excess without ever noticing when I was passing through satisfaction.

Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamp-post how it feels about dogs.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder.