No one becomes depraved in a moment.

I just need enough to tide me over until I need more.

The only way I can lose this election is if I'm caught in bed with a dead girl or a live boy.

You may my glories and my state dispose, But not my griefs; still am I king of those.

Nothing is so firmly believed as that which we least know.

It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better... while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.

With a gentleman I try to be a gentleman and a half, and with a fraud I try to be a fraud and a half.

Beware of mathematicians and all those who make empty prophecies. The danger already exists that the mathematicians have made covenant with the devil to darken the spirit and to confine man in the bonds of hell.

A Christian is a man who feels repentance on Sunday for what he did on Saturday and is going to do on Monday.

"If once a man indulges himself in murder, very soon he comes to think little of robbing; and from robbing he next comes to drinking and Sabbath-breaking, and from that to incivility and procrastination."

I am a man: nothing human is alien to me.

It is bad luck to be superstitious.

If you cannot convince them, confuse them.

Where it is a duty to worship the sun it is pretty sure to be a crime to examine the laws of heat.

The worst sin towards our fellow creatures is not to hate them, but to be indifferent to them; that's the essence of inhumanity.

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

I: The best way to make a silk purse from a sow's ear is to begin with a silk sow. The same is true of money. II: If today were half as good as tomorrow is supposed to be, it would probably be twice as good as yesterday was. III: There are

Philosophy will clip an angel's wings.

History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives.

Rotten wood cannot be carved.

It seems to me that nearly every woman I know wants a man who knows how to love with authority. Women are simple souls who like simple things, and one of the simplest is one of the simplest to give. ... Our family airedale will come clear across t

It is difficult to produce a television documentary that is both incisive and probing when every twelve minutes one is interrupted by twelve dancing rabbits singing about toilet paper.

Murray and Esther, a middle-aged Jewish couple, are touring Chile. Murray just got a new camera and is constantly snapping pictures. One day, without knowing it, he photographs a top-secret military installation. In an instant, armed troops surroun