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"I'm dying," he croaked. "My experiment was a success," the chemist retorted . "You can't really train a beagle," he dogmatized. "That's no beagle, it's a mongrel," she muttered. "The fire is going out," he bellowed. "Bad marksmanship," the h


Age before beauty; and pearls before swine.


Why, when no honest man will deny in private that every ultimate problem is wrapped in the profoundest mystery, do honest men proclaim in pulpits that unhesitating certainty is the duty of the most foolish and ignorant? Is it not a spectacle to make


Fortune Documents the Great Legal Decisions: We think that we may take judicial notice of the fact that the term "bitch" may imply some feeling of endearment when applied to a female of the canine species but that it is seldom, if ever, so used whe

Catflap Filthy Rich and

Prediction is very difficult, especially of the future.

Edward A. Murphy

How can you prove whether at this moment we are sleeping, and all our thoughts are a dream; or whether we are awake, and talking to one another in the waking state?

Fuldheim Dorothy

Education is learning what you didn't even know you didn't know.

Galsworthy John

What one fool can do, another can.

Hepbur Dorothy Parker

Just close your eyes, tap your heels together three times, and think to yourself, `There's no place like home.'

McCarthy Charlie

I need another lawyer like I need another hole in my head.

McCarthy Charlie

Work is the crab grass in the lawn of life.

McCarthy Eugene

Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.

McCarthy Eugene

The Worst Musical Trio There are few bad musicians who have a chance to give a recital at a famous concert hall while still learning the rudiments of their instrument. This happened about thirty years ago to the son of a Rumanian gentleman who was


For years a secret shame destroyed my peace

Parker Dorothy

The truth of a thing is the feel of it, not the think of it.

Parker Dorothy

I went to my mother and told her I intended to commence a different life. I asked for and obtained her blessing and at once commenced the career of a robber.

Parker Dorothy

Living in New York City gives people real incentives to want things that nobody else wants.

Parker Dorothy

The whole religious complexion of the modern world is due to the absence from Jerusalem of a lunatic asylum.

Parker Dorothy

Anyone can hold the helm when the sea is calm.

Parker Dorothy

A man's house is his castle.

Parker Dorthy

It is bad luck to be superstitious.

Physicist John von Neumann

If a man loses his reverence for any part of life, he will lose his reverence for all of life.

Schlafly Phyllis

When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened. It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to

hy it wasn't a hype. If you

Random Quote

No one regards what is before his feet; we all gaze at the stars.
Ennius Quintus

deep thoughts of brillyant genius of human history
hy it wasn't a hype. If you
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