Getting kicked out of the American Bar Association is liked getting kicked out of the Book-of-the-Month Club.

Watch your mouth, kid, or you'll find yourself floating home.

Dustin Farnum: Why, yesterday, I had the audience glued to their seats! Oliver Herford: Wonderful! Wonderful! Clever of you to think of it!

Take your work seriously but never take yourself seriously; and do not take what happens either to yourself or your work seriously.

A continuing flow of paper is sufficient to continue the flow of paper.

[Nuclear war] ... may not be desirable.

Politics is not the art of the possible. It consists in choosing between the disastrous and the unpalatable.

In Marseilles they make half the toilet soap we consume in America, but the Marseillaise only have a vague theoretical idea of its use, which they have obtained from books of travel.

A highly intelligent man should take a primitive woman. Imagine if on top of everything else, I had a woman who interfered with my work.

People of privilege will always risk their complete destruction rather than surrender any material part of their advantage.

Bond reflected that good Americans were fine people and that most of them seemed to come from Texas.

A definition of teaching: casting fake pearls before real swine.

The man-hating woman, like the cold woman, is largely imaginary. She is simply a woman who has done her best to snare a man and has failed.

Burnt Sienna. That's the best thing that ever happened to Crayolas.

Liberty don't work as good in practice as it does in speeches.

"There was an interesting development in the CBS-Westmoreland trial: both sides agreed that after the trial, Andy Rooney would be allowed to talk to the jury for three minutes about little things that annoyed him during the trial."

You can have peace. Or you can have freedom. Don't ever count on having both at once.

In breeding cattle you need one bull for every twenty-five cows, unless the cows are known sluts.

Walking on water wasn't built in a day.

Better tried by twelve than carried by six.

What, after all, is a halo? It's only one more thing to keep clean.

The Army needs leaders the way a foot needs a big toe.