A little inaccuracy sometimes saves tons of explanation.

If one cannot enjoy reading a book over and over again, there is no use in reading it at all.

With all the talent around, it's sort of amazing that a woman could be up here with us.

The man who sets out to carry a cat by its tail learns something that will always be useful and which never will grow dim or doubtful.

There is an old time toast which is golden for its beauty. "When you ascend the hill of prosperity may you not meet a friend."

Getting into trouble is easy.

The executioner is, I hear, very expert, and my neck is very slender.

The IRS spends God knows how much of your tax money on these toll-free information hot lines staffed by IRS employees, whose idea of a dynamite tax tip is that you should print neatly. If you ask them a real tax question, such as how you can cheat,

Live fast, die young, and leave a flat patch of fur on the highway!

Time goes, you say? Ah no! Time stays, *we* go.

The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in the mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function.

Remember that there is an outside world to see and enjoy.

Do not use that foreign word "ideals". We have that excellent native word "lies".

If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars.

When a place gets crowded enough to require ID's, social collapse is not far away. It is time to go elsewhere. The best thing about space travel is that it made it possible to go elsewhere.

Cold is God's way of teling us to burn more Catholics.

If the church put in half the time on covetousness that it does on lust, this would be a better world.

British education is probably the best in the world, if you can survive it. If you can't there is nothing left for you but the diplomatic corps.

The rights and interests of the laboring man will be protected and cared for not by our labor agitators, but by the Christian men to whom God in his infinite wisdom has given control of property interests of the country, and upon the successful manag

The 'A' is for content, the 'minus' is for not typing it. Don't ever do this to my eyes again.

In the highest society, as well as in the lowest, woman is merely an instrument of pleasure.

Man must shape his tools lest they shape him.

Authors (and perhaps columnists) eventually rise to the top of whatever depths they were once able to plumb.