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Getting kicked out of the American Bar Association is liked getting kicked out of the Book-of-the-Month Club.


Watch your mouth, kid, or you'll find yourself floating home.


Dustin Farnum: Why, yesterday, I had the audience glued to their seats! Oliver Herford: Wonderful! Wonderful! Clever of you to think of it!


Take your work seriously but never take yourself seriously; and do not take what happens either to yourself or your work seriously.

Catflap Filthy Rich and

Edward A. Murphy

A continuing flow of paper is sufficient to continue the flow of paper.

Fuldheim Dorothy

[Nuclear war] ... may not be desirable.

Galsworthy John

Politics is not the art of the possible. It consists in choosing between the disastrous and the unpalatable.

Hepbur Dorothy Parker

In Marseilles they make half the toilet soap we consume in America, but the Marseillaise only have a vague theoretical idea of its use, which they have obtained from books of travel.

McCarthy Charlie

A highly intelligent man should take a primitive woman. Imagine if on top of everything else, I had a woman who interfered with my work.

McCarthy Charlie

People of privilege will always risk their complete destruction rather than surrender any material part of their advantage.

McCarthy Eugene

Bond reflected that good Americans were fine people and that most of them seemed to come from Texas.

McCarthy Eugene

A definition of teaching: casting fake pearls before real swine.


The man-hating woman, like the cold woman, is largely imaginary. She is simply a woman who has done her best to snare a man and has failed.

Parker Dorothy

Burnt Sienna. That's the best thing that ever happened to Crayolas.

Parker Dorothy

Liberty don't work as good in practice as it does in speeches.

Parker Dorothy

"There was an interesting development in the CBS-Westmoreland trial: both sides agreed that after the trial, Andy Rooney would be allowed to talk to the jury for three minutes about little things that annoyed him during the trial."

Parker Dorothy

You can have peace. Or you can have freedom. Don't ever count on having both at once.

Parker Dorothy

In breeding cattle you need one bull for every twenty-five cows, unless the cows are known sluts.

Parker Dorothy

Walking on water wasn't built in a day.

Parker Dorthy

Better tried by twelve than carried by six.

Physicist John von Neumann

What, after all, is a halo? It's only one more thing to keep clean.

Schlafly Phyllis

The Army needs leaders the way a foot needs a big toe.

hy it wasn't a hype. If you

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Go away, I'm all right.
H.G. Wells

deep thoughts of brillyant genius of human history
hy it wasn't a hype. If you
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