There is no better way of exercising the imagination than the study of law. No poet ever interpreted nature as freely as a lawyer interprets truth.

Confucius say too much.

I go on working for the same reason a hen goes on laying eggs.

Authors (and perhaps columnists) eventually rise to the top of whatever depths they were once able to plumb.

Divorce is a game played by lawyers.

According to my best recollection, I don't remember.

All men know the utility of useful things; but they do not know the utility of futility.

If there really was a Jewish conspiracy to run the world, my rabbi would have let me in on it by now. I contribute enough to the shule.

With Congress, every time they make a joke it's a law; and every time they make a law it's a joke.

You can fool all the people all of the time if the advertising is right and the budget is big enough.

Aim for the moon. If you miss, you may hit a star.

The college graduate is presented with a sheepskin to cover his intellectual nakedness.

Living in New York City gives people real incentives to want things that nobody else wants.

"Well," Brahma said, "even after ten thousand explanations, a fool is no wiser, but an intelligent man requires only two thousand five hundred."

Dying is easy. Comedy is difficult.

Two can Live as Cheaply as One for Half as Long.

Let's remind ourselves that last year's fresh idea is today's cliche.

If the path be beautiful, let us not ask where it leads.

Some men are heterosexual, and some are bisexual, and some men don't think about sex at all... they become lawyers.

God helps them that help themselves.

Any two philosophers can tell each other all they know in two hours.

Five bicycles make a volkswagen, seven make a truck.

There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy.