Reality is nothing but a collective hunch.

The marriage of Marxism and feminism has been like the marriage of husband and wife depicted in English common law: Marxism and feminism are one, and that one is marxism.

The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has. Even when you make a tax form out on the level, you don't know when it's through if you are a crook or a martyr.

There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.

Have you ever stopped to think what it would be like to have a woman President? "I can't deal with the Russians today. Not now. I've got my period."

Life is the living you do, Death is the living you don't do.

Gone With The Wind LITE(tm)

The term "fire" brings up visions of violence and mayhem and the ugly scene of shooting employees who make mistakes. We will now refer to this process as "deleting" an employee (much as a file is deleted from a disk). The employee is simply there o

We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart.

Forgive him, for he believes that the customs of his tribe are the laws of nature!

If you sell diamonds, you cannot expect to have many customers. But a diamond is a diamond even if there are no customers.

Once harm has been done, even a fool understands it.

The adjective is the banana peel of the parts of speech.

A yawn is a silent shout.

The confusion of a staff member is measured by the length of his memos.

You k'n hide de fier, but w'at you gwine do wid de smoke?

April 1 This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four.

Good government never depends upon laws, but upon the personal qualities of those who govern. The machinery of government is always subordinate to the will of those who administer that machinery. The most important element of government, therefore,

Yevtushenko has... an ego that can crack crystal at a distance of twenty feet.

Exceptions prove the rule, and wreck the budget.

Put a rogue in the limelight and he will act like an honest man.

Wagner's music is better than it sounds.

Life being what it is, one dreams of revenge.