Set the cart before the horse.

The chief danger in life is that you may take too many precautions.

Let's say your wedding ring falls into your toaster, and when you stick your hand in to retrieve it, you suffer Pain and Suffering as well as Mental Anguish. You would sue: * The toaster manufacturer, for failure to include, in the instructions

If I could reach, I'd never leave the house.

He who despairs over an event is a coward, but he who holds hopes for the human condition is a fool.

The life which is unexamined is not worth living.

Words have a longer life than deeds.

It is imperative when flying coach that you restrain any tendency toward the vividly imaginative. For although it may momentarily appear to be the case, it is not at all likely that the cabin is entirely inhabited by crying babies smoking inexpensiv

Standards are different for all things, so the standard set by man is by no means the only 'certain' standard. If you mistake what is relative for something certain, you have strayed far from the ultimate truth.

... but as records of courts and justice are admissible, it can easily be proved that powerful and malevolent magicians once existed and were a scourge to mankind. The evidence (including confession) upon which certain women were convicted of witch

No problem is so formidable that you can't just walk away from it.

Imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality.

You can't run away forever, But there's nothing wrong with getting a good head start.

I: The best way to make a silk purse from a sow's ear is to begin with a silk sow. The same is true of money. II: If today were half as good as tomorrow is supposed to be, it would probably be twice as good as yesterday was. III: There are

Whatever is not nailed down is mine. Whatever I can pry up is not nailed down.

The whole world is a scab. The point is to pick it constructively.

I've got all the money I'll ever need if I die by 4 o'clock.

It shall be unlawful for any suspicious person to be within the municipality.

There is no doubt that my lawyer is honest. For example, when he filed his income tax return last year, he declared half of his salary as 'unearned income.'

Philosophy will clip an angel's wings.

Housework can kill you if done right.

The [Ford Foundation] is a large body of money completely surrounded by people who want some.

It has long been noticed that juries are pitiless for robbery and full of indulgence for infanticide. A question of interest, my dear Sir! The jury is afraid of being robbed and has passed the age when it could be a victim of infanticide.

Facts, apart from their relationships, are like labels on empty bottles.

Campus sidewalks never exist as the straightest line between two points.

Chapter 1 The story so far: In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.

It's always darkest just before the lights go out.

When the going gets tough, everyone leaves.

Progress was all right. Only it went on too long.

True to our past we work with an inherited, observed, and accepted vision of personal futility, and of the beauty of the world.

Ain't no right way to do a wrong thing.

Education is what survives when what has been learnt has been forgotten.

XI: If the Earth could be made to rotate twice as fast, managers would get twice as much done. If the Earth could be made to rotate twenty times as fast, everyone else would get twice as much done since all the managers would fly off. XII: I

God made everything out of nothing, but the nothingness shows through.

I always wake up at the crack of ice.

She cried, and the judge wiped her tears with my checkbook.

The Worst Jury A murder trial at Manitoba in February 1978 was well advanced, when one juror revealed that he was completely deaf and did not have the remotest clue what was happening. The judge, Mr. Justice Solomon, asked him if he had heard any

Why does a hearse horse snicker, hauling a lawyer away?

You can tell the ideals of a nation by its advertisements.

Flame on!

Indeed, the first noble truth of Buddhism, usually translated as `all life is suffering,' is more accurately rendered `life is filled with a sense of pervasive unsatisfactoriness.'

Hard reality has a way of cramping your style.