To have died once is enough.

America has been discovered before, but it has always been hushed up.

You'd better smile when they watch you, smile like you're in control.

If I were a grave-digger or even a hangman, there are some people I could work for with a great deal of enjoyment.

There are no answers, only cross-references.

Women of genius commonly have masculine faces, figures and manners. In transplanting brains to an alien soil God leaves a little of the original earth clinging to the roots.

Nobody can be exactly like me. Sometimes even I have trouble doing it.

Bullwinkle: You just leave that to my pal. He's the brains of the outfit. General: What does that make YOU? Bullwinkle: What else? An executive.

If you want to get rich from writing, write the sort of thing that's read by persons who move their lips when the're reading to themselves.

Any road followed to its end leads precisely nowhere. Climb the mountain just a little to test it's a mountain. From the top of the mountain, you cannot see the mountain.

The superior man understands what is right; the inferior man understands what will sell.

When the ax entered the forest, the trees said, "The handle is one of us!"

If a jury in a criminal trial stays out for more than twenty-four hours, it is certain to vote acquittal, save in those instances where it votes guilty.

The man-hating woman, like the cold woman, is largely imaginary. She is simply a woman who has done her best to snare a man and has failed.

Carol's head ached as she trailed behind the unsmiling Calibrees along the block of booths. She chirruped at Kennicott, "Let's be wild! Let's ride on the merry-go-round and grab a gold ring!" Kennicott considered it, and mumbled to Calibree, "Thin

If you hype something and it succeeds, you're a genius

Best Mistakes In Films In his "Filmgoer's Companion", Mr. Leslie Halliwell helpfully lists four of the cinema's greatest moments which you should get to see if at all possible. In "Carmen Jones", the camera tracks with Dorothy Dandridge down a st

"Well," Brahma said, "even after ten thousand explanations, a fool is no wiser, but an intelligent man requires only two thousand five hundred."

"I'm dying," he croaked. "My experiment was a success," the chemist retorted . "You can't really train a beagle," he dogmatized. "That's no beagle, it's a mongrel," she muttered. "The fire is going out," he bellowed. "Bad marksmanship," the h

For courage mounteth with occasion.

"... an experienced, industrious, ambitious, and often quite often picturesque liar."

We're constantly being bombarded by insulting and humiliating music, which people are making for you the way they make those Wonder Bread products. Just as food can be bad for your system, music can be bad for your spirtual and emotional feelings. I

The majority of the stupid is invincible and guaranteed for all time. The terror of their tyranny, however, is alleviated by their lack of consistency.

A Tale of Two Cities LITE(tm)

Joe Cool always spends the first two weeks at college sailing his frisbee.

To every Ph.D. there is an equal and opposite Ph.D.

Time is the most valuable thing a man can spend.

Very few people do anything creative after the age of thirty-five. The reason is that very few people do anything creative before the age of thirty-five.

When alerted to an intrusion by tinkling glass or otherwise, 1) Calm yourself 2) Identify the intruder 3) If hostile, kill him. Step number 3 is of particular importance. If you leave the guy alive out of misguided softheartedness, he will repay y

In the first place, God made idiots; this was for practice; then he made school boards.

The road to ruin is always in good repair, and the travellers pay the expense of it.

Education is the process of casting false pearls before real swine.

The trouble with superheros is what to do between phone booths.

There can be no daily democracy without daily citizenship.

When in doubt, mumble; when in trouble, delegate; when in charge, ponder.

Would that my hand were as swift as my tongue.

Politics is not the art of the possible. It consists in choosing between the disastrous and the unpalatable.

Here's to women. Would that we could fall into her arms without falling into her hands.

This wasn't just plain terrible, this was fancy terrible. This was terrible with raisins in it.

Fast ship? You mean you've never heard of the Millennium Falcon?

Comparing information and knowledge is like asking whether the fatness of a pig is more or less green than the designated hitter rule."

The life which is unexamined is not worth living.