Why are you doing this to me? Because knowledge is torture, and there must be awareness before there is change.

Execute every act of thy life as though it were thy last.

The English instinctively admire any man who has no talent and is modest about it.

I do desire we may be better strangers.

Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely.

Good government never depends upon laws, but upon the personal qualities of those who govern. The machinery of government is always subordinate to the will of those who administer that machinery. The most important element of government, therefore,

The sky is blue so we know where to stop mowing.

A committee is a group that keeps the minutes and loses hours.

A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds.

How can you prove whether at this moment we are sleeping, and all our thoughts are a dream; or whether we are awake, and talking to one another in the waking state?

Ben, why didn't you tell me?

"We maintain that the very foundation of our way of life is what we call free enterprise," said Cash McCall, "but when one of our citizens show enough free enterprise to pile up a little of that profit, we do our best to make him feel that he ought t

The world is full of people who have never, since childhood, met an open doorway with an open mind.

Maternity pay? Now every Tom, Dick and Harry will get pregnant.

Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. My advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.

What we cannot speak about we must pass over in silence.

Once I belonged to a group that really had THE WORD. I fought like hell for them. But another group came along and exposed the word of my group as shallow and degenerate. They had a better word. So I quit the first group and lost all the friends

If a man has a strong faith he can indulge in the luxury of skepticism.

Marijuana will be legal some day, because the many law students who now smoke pot will someday become congressmen and legalize it in order to protect themselves.

Nothing, nothing, nothing, no error, no crime is so absolutely repugnant to God as everything which is official; and why? because the official is so impersonal and therefore the deepest insult which can be offered to a personality.

The day will come when the mystical generation of Jesus, by the Supreme Being as his Father, in the womb of a virgin will be classified with the fable of the generation of Minerva in the brain of Jupiter. But we may hope that the dawn of reason and

Go not to the elves for counsel, for they will say both yes and no.

"You boys lookin' for trouble?" "Sure. Whaddya got?"

Big book, big bore.

He thought of Musashi, the Sword Saint, standing in his garden more than three hundred years ago. "What is the 'Body of a rock'?" he was asked. In answer, Musashi summoned a pupil of his and bid him kill himself by slashing his abdomen with a knife.

The public is an old woman. Let her maunder and mumble.

If you know the answer to a question, don't ask.

Necessity hath no law.

What!? Me worry?

Forgive and forget.

What passes for optimism is most often the effect of an intellectual error.

A sad spectacle. If they be inhabited, what a scope for misery and folly. If they be not inhabited, what a waste of space.

"The Right Honorable Gentleman is indebted to his memory for his jests and to his imagination for his facts."

The genius of our ruling class is that it has kept a majority of the people from ever questioning the inequity of a system where most people drudge along paying heavy taxes for which they get nothing in return.

Remark of Dr. Baldwin's concerning upstarts: We don't care to eat toadstools that think they are truffles.

Mike: "The Fourth Dimension is a shambles?" Bernie: "Nobody ever empties the ashtrays. People are SO inconsiderate."

You can bring men from other parts of the world who are sane. And you know what happens? At the very moment they cross those mountains... they go mad. Instantaneously and automatically, at the very moment they cross the mountains into California,

Haste makes waste.

Life is a concentration camp. You're stuck here and there's no way out and you can only rage impotently against your persecutors.

Art is anything you can get away with.

Classical music is the kind we keep thinking will turn into a tune.

When the blind lead the blind they will both fall over the cliff.