We have nowhere else to go... this is all we have.

Man is the measure of all things.

I hate dying.

Hard reality has a way of cramping your style.

Waste not fresh tears over old griefs.

Remembering is for those who have forgotten.

You're all clear now, kid. Now blow this thing so we can all go home.

He who despairs over an event is a coward, but he who holds hopes for the human condition is a fool.

It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle if it is lightly greased.

Who goeth a-borrowing goeth a-sorrowing.

If little green men land in your back yard, hide any little green women you've got in the house.

Someday, Weederman, we'll look back on all this and laugh... It will probably be one of those deep, eerie ones that slowly builds to a blood-curdling maniacal scream... but still it will be a laugh.

A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.

Three minutes' thought would suffice to find this out; but thought is irksome and three minutes is a long time.

To accuse others for one's own misfortunes is a sign of want of education. To accuse oneself shows that one's education has begun. To accuse neither oneself nor others shows that one's education is complete.

The world has many unintentionally cruel mechanisms that are not designed for people who walk on their hands.

Since everything in life is but an experience perfect in being what it is, having nothing to do with good or bad, acceptance or rejection, one may well burst out in laughter.

You climb to reach the summit, but once there, discover that all roads lead down.

This is an especially good time for you vacationers who plan to fly, because the Reagan administration, as part of the same policy under which it recently sold Yellowstone National Park to Wayne Newton, has "deregulated" the airline industry. What t

Let's say your wedding ring falls into your toaster, and when you stick your hand in to retrieve it, you suffer Pain and Suffering as well as Mental Anguish. You would sue: * The toaster manufacturer, for failure to include, in the instructions

A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats.

Take what you can use and let the rest go by.

Language is a virus from another planet.

We can embody the truth, but we cannot know it.

What fools these mortals be.

When you are at Rome live in the Roman style; when you are elsewhere live as they live elsewhere.

If you know the answer to a question, don't ask.

The meek shall inherit the earth, but *not* its mineral rights.

The optimum committee has no members.

Well begun is half done.

He that composes himself is wiser than he that composes a book.

... a thing called Ethics, whose nature was confusing but if you had it you were a High-Class Realtor and if you hadn't you were a shyster, a piker and a fly-by-night. These virtues awakened Confidence and enabled you to handle Bigger Propositions.

Mundus vult decipi decipiatur ergo.

The future is a race between education and catastrophe.

It is better to have loved and lost

The average Ph.D thesis is nothing but the transference of bones from one graveyard to another.

It is ridiculous to call this an industry. This is not. This is rat eat rat, dog eat dog. I'll kill 'em, and I'm going to kill 'em before they kill me. You're talking about the American way of survival of the fittest.

If a jury in a criminal trial stays out for more than twenty-four hours, it is certain to vote acquittal, save in those instances where it votes guilty.

The eye is a menace to clear sight, the ear is a menace to subtle hearing, the mind is a menace to wisdom, every organ of the senses is a menace to its own capacity. ... Fuss, the god of the Southern Ocean, and Fret, the god of the Northern Ocean, h

Anyone can hold the helm when the sea is calm.

Whatever occurs from love is always beyond good and evil.

There are ten or twenty basic truths, and life is the process of discovering them over and over and over.