Plumbing is one of the easier of do-it-yourself activities, requiring only a few simple tools and a willingness to stick your arm into a clogged toilet. In fact, you can solve many home plumbing problems, such as annoying faucet drip, merely by tur

Seeing that death, a necessary end, Will come when it will come.

Moneyliness is next to Godliness.

I stick my neck out for nobody.

To restore a sense of reality, I think Walt Disney should have a Hardluckland.

"I wonder", he said to himself, "what's in a book while it's closed. Oh, I know it's full of letters printed on paper, but all the same, something must be happening, because as soon as I open it, there's a whole story with people I don't know yet

I need another lawyer like I need another hole in my head.

per year.

If a thing's worth having, it's worth cheating for.

So far as I can remember, there is not one word in the Gospels in praise of intelligence.

Kindness is the beginning of cruelty.

A good reputation is more valuable than money.

It's from Casablanca. I've been waiting all my life to use that line.

A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats.

A dream will always triumph over reality, once it is given the chance.

Events are not affected, they develop.

Take care of the luxuries and the necessities will take care of themselves.

"Elves and Dragons!" I says to him. "Cabbages and potatoes are better for you and me."

The fact that people are poor or discriminated against doesn't necessarily endow them with any special qualities of justice, nobility, charity or compassion.

The streets were dark with something more than night.

A committee takes root and grows, it flowers, wilts and dies, scattering the seed from which other committees will bloom.

If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world.

Patience is the best remedy for every trouble.

The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that, you've got it made.

I shot an arrow in to the air, and it stuck.

I've touch'd the highest point of all my greatness; And from that full meridian of my glory I haste now to my setting. I shall fall, Like a bright exhalation in the evening And no man see me more.

I hate quotations.

"All snakes who wish to remain in Ireland will please raise their right hands."

No problem is so formidable that you can't just walk away from it.

Eighteen goddess-like daughters are not equal to one son with a hump.

Who does not trust enough will not be trusted.

The meek shall inherit the earth, but *not* its mineral rights.

It is ridiculous to call this an industry. This is not. This is rat eat rat, dog eat dog. I'll kill 'em, and I'm going to kill 'em before they kill me. You're talking about the American way of survival of the fittest.

When the ax entered the forest, the trees said, "The handle is one of us!"

I paid a visit to my local precinct in Greenwich Village and asked a sergeant to show me some rape statistics. He politely obliged. That month there had been thirty-five rape complaints, an advance of ten over the same month for the previous year.

I do not patronize poor, ill educated, or disenfranchised people by exempting them from the same critical examination I feel free to direct toward the rest of society, however much I might champion the same minority or disadvantaged group in the foru

The possession of a book becomes a substitute for reading it.

Patch griefs with proverbs.

It's hard to drive at the limit, but it's harder to know where the limits are.

Good government never depends upon laws, but upon the personal qualities of those who govern. The machinery of government is always subordinate to the will of those who administer that machinery. The most important element of government, therefore,

To say you got a vote of confidence would be to say you needed a vote of confidence.

It has long been noticed that juries are pitiless for robbery and full of indulgence for infanticide. A question of interest, my dear Sir! The jury is afraid of being robbed and has passed the age when it could be a victim of infanticide.