Lay on, MacDuff, and curs'd be him who first cries, "Hold, enough!".

About the time we think we can make ends meet, somebody moves the ends.

Here I am, fifty-eight, and I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up.

With Congress, every time they make a joke it's a law; and every time they make a law it's a joke.

I sometimes think that God, in creating man, somewhat overestimated his ability.

A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step.

Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do. Play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do.

Honesty pays, but it doesn't seem to pay enough to suit some people.

What excuses stand in your way? How can you eliminate them?

There is no delight the equal of dread. As long as it is somebody else's.

There is no character, howsoever good and fine, but it can be destroyed by ridicule, howsoever poor and witless. Observe the ass, for instance: his character is about perfect, he is the choicest spirit among all the humbler animals, yet see what rid

It was the Law of the Sea, they said. Civilization ends at the waterline. Beyond that, we all enter the food chain, and not always right at the top.

Mundus vult decipi decipiatur ergo.

Well, the handwriting is on the floor.

The hater of property and of government takes care to have his warranty deed recorded, and the book written against fame and learning has the author's name on the title page.

Being a miner, as soon as you're too old and tired and sick and stupid to do your job properly, you have to go, where the very opposite applies with the judges.

It is much easier to be critical than to be correct.

Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the person involved.

The Army needs leaders the way a foot needs a big toe.

If you don't say anything, you won't be called on to repeat it.

The white race is the cancer of history.

I believe in getting into hot water; it keeps you clean.

If you aren't rich you should always look useful.

In every hierarchy the cream rises until it sours.

Don't get the idea that I'm one of those goddamn radicals. Don't get the idea that I'm knocking the American system.

Alas, I am dying beyond my means.

It is only the great men who are truly obscene. If they had not dared to be obscene, they could never have dared to be great.

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

The full potentialities of human fury cannot be reached until a friend of both parties tactfully interferes.

Facts, apart from their relationships, are like labels on empty bottles.

Public use of any portable music system is a virtually guaranteed indicator of sociopathic tendencies.

Any president should have the right to shoot at least two people a year without explanation.

Of all possible committee reactions to any given agenda item, the reaction that will occur is the one which will liberate the greatest amount of hot air.

Princeton's taste is sweet like a strawberry tart. Harvard's is a subtle taste, like whiskey, coffee, or tobacco. It may even be a bad habit, for all I know.

Sometimes, too long is too long.

I consider a new device or technology to have been culturally accepted when it has been used to commit a murder.

The rule is, jam to-morrow and jam yesterday, but never jam today.

"Lemme show ya the odds, Sparky... In yer country, ya got 14 million black people, and 3 million white people. Now, does the name `Custer' mean anything to you?"

Certain passages in several laws have always defied interpretation and the most inexplicable must be a matter of opinion. A judge of the Court of Session of Scotland has sent the editors of this book his candidate which reads, "In the Nuts (unground

The control of the production of wealth is the control of human life itself.

A right is not what someone gives you; it's what no one can take from you.

We rarely find anyone who can say he has lived a happy life, and who, content with his life, can retire from the world like a satisfied guest.