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I always had a repulsive need to be something more than human.

Abigail Van Buren

The only way I can lose this election is if I'm caught in bed with a dead girl or a live boy.

About Edmond

Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths good theatre.

About Edmond

You give me space to belong to myself yet without separating me from your own life. May it all turn out to your happiness.

About Edmond

Competence, like truth, beauty, and contact lenses, is in the eye of the beholder.

Abrams Gen. C.

"Avoid revolution or expect to get shot. Mother and I will grieve, but we will gladly buy a dinner for the National Guardsman who shot you."

Acheson Dean

"To YOU I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition."

Acton Lord

The streets were dark with something more than night.

Acton Lord

Words have a longer life than deeds.

Adams D.

Mix a little foolishness with your serious plans; it's lovely to be silly at the right moment.

Adams Franklin

You're never too old to become younger.

Adams Franklin

An honest tale speeds best being plainly told.

Adams Franklin

During almost fifteen centuries the legal establishment of Christianity has been upon trial. What has been its fruits? More or less, in all places, pride and indolence in the clergy; ignorance and servility in the laity,; in both, superstition, bigo

Adams Henry

If the Nazis had television with satellite technology, we'd all be goose-stepping. Americans are just as suggestible.

Adams Henry Brook

Whatever is not nailed down is mine. Whatever I can pry up is not nailed down.

Adams John

It's better to be wanted for murder that not to be wanted at all.

Adams John Quincy

Educational television should be absolutely forbidden. It can only lead to unreasonable disappointment when your child discovers that the letters of the alphabet do not leap up out of books and dance around with royal-blue chickens.

Adams Samuel

If God is One, what is bad?

Adams Douglas

Pauca sed matura. [Few but excellent.]


Life is the childhood of our immortality.

Ade George

Catharsis is something I associate with pornography and crossword puzzles.

Adenauer Dr. Konrad

Your chances of getting hit by lightning go up if you stand under a tree, shake your fist at the sky, and say, "Storms suck!"

Adenauer Konrad

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.

Adler Alfred

Out of sight is out of mind.

Adler Alfred

A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain.

Adler Renata

We are going to have peace even if we have to fight for it.

Adler Bill

It's not Camelot, but it's not Cleveland, either.

Adler Bill

Plots are like girdles. Hidden, they hold your interest; revealed, they're of no interest except to fetishists. Like girdles, they attempt to contain an uncontainable experience.

Adler Bill

An ounce of hypocrisy is worth a pound of ambition.

Adler Bill

I am not a politician and my other habits are also good.

Adolf Hitler

Good judgement comes from experience. Experience comes from bad judgement.

Adolph Hitler

Satire is what closes Saturday night.

Adolph Hitler

A yawn is a silent shout.

Advanced R. Bach

Good government never depends upon laws, but upon the personal qualities of those who govern. The machinery of government is always subordinate to the will of those who administer that machinery. The most important element of government, therefore,

Adventurer The

Let us never negotiate out of fear, but let us never fear to negotiate.


A writer is congenitally unable to tell the truth and that is why we call what he writes fiction.


This wasn't just plain terrible, this was fancy terrible. This was terrible with raisins in it.


Has the great art and mystery of politics no apparent utility? Does it appear to be unqualifiedly ratty, raffish, sordid, obscene and low down, and its salient virtuosi a gang of umitigated scoundrels? Then let us not forget its high capacity to soo


You're always thinking you're gonna be the one that makes 'em act different.

Afer Terentius

A conservative is a man who is too cowardly to fight and too fat to run.

Agnew Spiro

I try to keep an open mind, but not so open that my brains fall out.

Agnew Spiro

The ratio of literacy to illiteracy is a constant, but nowadays the illiterates can read.

Aiken Howard

In case of fire, stand in the hall and shout "Fire!"

Ajaye Franklyn

A casual stroll through a lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything.

Ajaye Franklyn

"What are you watching?" "I don't know." "Well, what's happening?" "I'm not sure... I think the guy in the hat did something terrible." "Why are you watching it?" "You're so analytical. Sometimes you just have to let art flow over you."

Ajaye Franklyn

Unless hours were cups of sack, and minutes capons, and clocks the tongues of bawds, and dials the signs of leaping houses, and the blessed sun himself a fair, hot wench in flame-colored taffeta, I see no reason why thou shouldst be so superfluous to

Al Capone

A journey of a thousand miles starts under one's feet.

Al Capone

To lead people, you must follow behind.

Aldo Leopold

The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it.


Who does not trust enough will not be trusted.


It was the Law of the Sea, they said. Civilization ends at the waterline. Beyond that, we all enter the food chain, and not always right at the top.

Alexander Thea

There has been a little distress selling on the stock exchange.

Alexander. N.

Well begun is half done.

Alexandre Arnoux

Tertullian was born in Carthage somewhere about 160 A.D. He was a pagan, and he abandoned himself to the lascivious life of his city until about his 35th year, when he became a Christian. [...] To him is ascribed the sublime confession: Credo quia


There is a good deal of solemn cant about the common interests of capital and labour. As matters stand, their only common interest is that of cutting each other's throat.

Ali Muhammad

If you do not think about the future, you cannot have one.

Alice Walker

There is no sin but ignorance.

Alighieri Dante

I think... I think it's in my basement... Let me go upstairs and check.

Alinsky Saul

WE'RE GOING TO THROW THE MX AWAY AFTER WE BUILD IT. The MX is really [Don't tell anybody!] just a "bargaining chip" in the nuclear-arms- reduction talks with the Russians. See, we have a problem with the Russians. They look at our leaders and they

Alinsky Saul

Nothing succeeds like success.

Alinsky Saul

All Gods were immortal.

Alito Noelie

What fools these mortals be.

Allan Virginia

The idle mind knows not what it is it wants.

Allen Fred

How should they answer?

Allen Fred

Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.

Allen Fred

The goys have proven the following theorem...

Allen Fred

Lack of money is the root of all evil.

Allen Fred

We are all born mad. Some remain so.

Allen Henry

More people are flattered into virtue than bullied out of vice.

Allen Hubert

If you live long enough, you'll see that every victory turns into a defeat.

Allen Woody

When you say that you agree to a thing in principle, you mean that you have not the slightest intention of carrying it out in practice.

Allen Woody

Never look a gift horse in the mouth.

Allen Woody

I have never understood this liking for war. It panders to instincts already catered for within the scope of any respectable domestic establishment.

Allen Woody

Talkers are no good doers.

Allen Woody

The chief cause of problems is solutions.

Allen Woody

I knew her before she was a virgin.

Allen Woody

This is an especially good time for you vacationers who plan to fly, because the Reagan administration, as part of the same policy under which it recently sold Yellowstone National Park to Wayne Newton, has "deregulated" the airline industry. What t

Allen Woody

A man's house is his castle.

Allen Woody

The whole religious complexion of the modern world is due to the absence from Jerusalem of a lunatic asylum.

Allen Woody

France is a country where the money falls apart and you can't tear the toilet paper.

Allen Woody

You can observe a lot just by watching.

Allen Woody

Many of the characters are fools and they are always playing tricks on me and treating me badly.

Allen Woody

Nasrudin returned to his village from the imperial capital, and the villagers gathered around to hear what had passed. "At this time," said Nasrudin, "I only want to say that the King spoke to me." All the villagers but the stupidest ran off to spr

Allen Woody

I value kindness to human beings first of all, and kindness to animals. I don't respect the law; I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger, the food cheaper, and old men

Allen Smith

If I could reach, I'd never leave the house.

Allen Woody

Experience is not what happens to you; it is what you do with what happens to you.

Allen Woody

Ninety percent of the time things turn out worse than you thought they would. The other ten percent of the time you had no right to expect that much.

Allen Woody

"Not Hercules could have knock'd out his brains, for he had none."

Alo Vincent

Every man takes the limits of his own field of vision for the limits of the world.

Alphonse Karr

Death is a spirit leaving a body, sort of like a shell leaving the nut behind.

Alsop Joseph

Millions of sensible people are too high-minded to concede that politics is almost always the choice of the lesser evil. "Tweedledum and Tweedledee," they say. "I will not vote." Having abstained, they are presented with a President who appoints t

Altgeld John

"Cable is not a luxury, since many areas have poor TV reception."

Altman Robert

And yet, seasons must be taken with a grain of salt, for they too have a sense of humor, as does history. Corn stalks comedy, comedy stalks tragedy, and this too is historic. And yet, still, when corn meets tragedy face to face, we have politics.

Ambrose St.

Please try to limit the amount of "this room doesn't have any bazingas" until you are told that those rooms are "punched out." Once punched out, we have a right to complain about atrocities, missing bazingas, and such.

Ambrose Bierce

If a shameless woman expects to be defiled and then dies of her fierce love because you do not consent, will chastity also be homicide?

Ambrose Bierce

You never have to change anything you got up in the middle of the night to write.

Ambrose Bierce

an idiot politically. But the designations may be good business for war veterans. Having bled for their country in 1861 and 1918, they have bled it all they could consequently. And why not?"

Ambrose Bierce

I hold it, that a little rebellion, now and then, is a good thing...

Ambrose Bierce

There's no such thing as a free lunch.

Ambrose Bierce

We're living in a golden age. All you need is gold.


Why am I so soft in the middle when the rest of my life is so hard?

Anastasia Albert

It is your concern when your neighbor's wall is on fire.

Anderson Laurie

Democracy is a device that insures we shall be governed no better than we deserve.

Anderson Laurie

I do desire we may be better strangers.

Anderson Laurie

Training is everything. The peach was once a bitter almond; cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.

Andre Maurois

There is no doubt that my lawyer is honest. For example, when he filed his income tax return last year, he declared half of his salary as 'unearned income.'

Anne Frank

Call on God, but row away from the rocks.

Anouilh Jean

Piece of cake!

Anouilh Jean

In "King Henry VI, Part II," Shakespeare has Dick Butcher suggest to his fellow anti-establishment rabble-rousers, "The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers." That action may be extreme but a similar sentiment was expressed by Thomas K. Co

Anthony Piers

Perfection is reached, not when there is no longer anything to add, but when there is no longer anything to take away.

Anthony Susan B.

You mentioned your name as if I should recognize it, but beyond the obvious facts that you are a bachelor, a solicitor, a freemason, and an asthmatic, I know nothing whatever about you.

Antoinette Marie

Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world.

Appleby Sir Humphrey

Two wrongs don't make a right, but they make a good excuse.

Arendt Hannah

Someone did a study of the three most-often-heard phrases in New York City. One is "Hey, taxi." Two is, "What train do I take to get to Bloomingdale's?" And three is, "Don't worry. It's just a flesh wound."


If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.


The ripest fruit falls first.


Fame is a vapor; popularity an accident; the only earthly certainty is oblivion.


Blessed are the young, for they shall inherit the national debt.


Never invest your money in anything that eats or needs repainting.


Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known.


"You would do well not to imagine profundity," he said. "Anything that seems of momentous occasion should be dwelt upon as though it were of slight note. Conversely, trivialities must be attended to with the greatest of care. Because death is moment


Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the person involved.


Only those who leisurely approach that which the masses are busy about can be busy about that which the masses take leisurely.


So she went into the garden to cut a cabbage leaf to make an apple pie; and at the same time a great she-bear, coming up the street pops its head into the shop. "What! no soap?" So he died, and she very imprudently married the barber; and there were


Prisons are built with stones of Law, brothels with bricks of Religion.

Arlen Michael

It is equally bad when one speeds on the guest unwilling to go, and when he holds back one who is hastening. Rather one should befriend the guest who is there, but speed him when he wishes.

Armour Richard

I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday and I love today.

Armstrong Louis

All I know is what the words know, and dead things, and that makes a handsome little sum, with a beginning and a middle and an end, as in the well-built phrase and the long sonata of the dead.

Arthur Naiman

A hundred years from now it is very likely that [of Twain's works] "The Jumping Frog" alone will be remembered.

Arthur Naiman

Well, the handwriting is on the floor.

Arthur Naiman

It is only by risking our persons from one hour to another that we live at all. And often enough our faith beforehand in an uncertified result is the only thing that makes the result come true.

Arthur Sullivan

I dote on his very absence.

Ashley-Pitt Alan

Would ye both eat your cake and have your cake?

Ashley-Pitt Alan

Honesty is for the most part less profitable than dishonesty.

Asimov Isaac

I do not know whether I was then a man dreaming I was a butterfly, or whether I am now a butterfly dreaming I am a man.

Asimov Isaac

English literature's performing flea.

Aspin Les D.

Since a politician never believes what he says, he is surprised when others believe him.

Asterix Adventures of

I am myself plus my circumstance, and if I do not save it, I cannot save myself.

Attorney General William

Fear is the greatest salesman.

Atwood Margaret

It is the nature of extreme self-lovers, as they will set an house on fire, and it were but to roast their eggs.

Auden W.H.

It is up to us to produce better-quality movies.


Thompson, if he is to be believed, has sampled the entire rainbow of legal and illegal drugs in heroic efforts to feel better than he does. As for the truth about his health: I have asked around about it. I am told that he appears to be strong and

Augustine Norman

XLI: The more one produces, the less one gets. XLII: Simple systems are not feasible because they require infinite testing. XLIII: Hardware works best when it matters the least. XLIV: Aircraft flight in the 21st century will always be in a we

Augustine Norman

Democracy is a process by which the people are free to choose the man who will get the blame.

Augustine Norman

The mind is its own place, and in itself Can make a Heav'n of Hell, a Hell of Heav'n.

Augustine Norman

Love the sea? I dote upon it

Augustine Norman

We have no scorched earth policy. We have a policy of scorched Communists.

Augustine Norman

Marijuana will be legal some day, because the many law students who now smoke pot will someday become congressmen and legalize it in order to protect themselves.

Augustine Norman

When angry, count four; when very angry, swear.

Augustine Saint

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.

Augustine St.

The surest protection against temptation is cowardice.

Augustine St.

Littering is dumb.

Augustine St.

Real wealth can only increase.

Augustine St.

Pity the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.

Aurelius Marcus

Unprovided with original learning, unformed in the habits of thinking, unskilled in the arts of composition, I resolved to write a book.

Aurelius Sextus

A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the word you first thought of.

Aurobindo Sri

I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best.

Aurobindo Sri

Ask not for whom the Bell tolls, and you will pay only the station-to-station rate.

Austen J.

A lie is an abomination unto the Lord and a very present help in time of trouble.


Perhaps the remembrance of these things will prove a source of future pleasure.

Ayres C.E.

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Democracy means simply the bludgeoning of the people by the people for the people.
Wilde Oscar

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