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How do you explain school to a higher intelligence?

Abigail Van Buren


All is well that ends well.

About Edmond


Facts are the enemy of truth.

About Edmond


Our business in life is not to succeed but to continue to fail in high spirits.

About Edmond


You can bring men from other parts of the world who are sane. And you know what happens? At the very moment they cross those mountains... they go mad. Instantaneously and automatically, at the very moment they cross the mountains into California,

Abrams Gen. C.


In childhood a woman must be subject to her father; in youth to her husband; when her husband is dead, to her sons. A woman must never be free of subjugation.

Acheson Dean


Many of the characters are fools and they are always playing tricks on me and treating me badly.

Acton Lord


With women, I've got a long bamboo pole with a leather loop on the end of it. I slip the loop around their necks so they can't get away or come too close. Like catching snakes.

Acton Lord


Your friends will know you better in the first minute you meet than your acquaintances will know you in a thousand years.

Adams D.


It's always darkest just before the lights go out.

Adams Franklin


All the big corporations depreciate their possessions, and you can, too, provided you use them for business purposes. For example, if you subscribe to the Wall Street Journal, a business-related newspaper, you can deduct the cost of your house, beca

Adams Franklin


"Go on, girl! You'll never get a better chance to buy Jif at this price. *Carpe diem*, babe!"

Adams Franklin


What, after all, is a halo? It's only one more thing to keep clean.

Adams Henry


The language of politics is poetry, not prose. Jackson is poetry. Cuomo is poetry. Dukakis is a word processor.

Adams Henry Brook


I go on working for the same reason a hen goes on laying eggs.

Adams John


Generally speaking, the Way of the warrior is resolute acceptance of death.

Adams John Quincy


The devil can cite Scripture for his purpose.

Adams Samuel


We have art that we do not die of the truth.

Adams Douglas


Civilization is the limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessities.

AdamsHenry


Work Hard. Rock Hard. Eat Hard. Sleep Hard. Grow Big. Wear Glasses If You Need 'Em.

Ade George


Youth is a disease from which we all recover.

Adenauer Dr. Konrad


It is either through the influence of narcotic potions, of which all primitive peoples and races speak in hymns, or through the powerful approach of spring, penetrating with joy all of nature, that those Dionysian stirrings arise, which in their int

Adenauer Konrad


Success is relative: It is what we can make of the mess we have made of things.

Adler Alfred


The primary theme of SoupCon is communication. The acronym "LEO" represents the secondary theme: Law Enforcement Officials The overall theme of SoupCon shall be: Avoiding Communication with Law Enforcement Officials

Adler Alfred


There is no better way of exercising the imagination than the study of law. No poet ever interpreted nature as freely as a lawyer interprets truth.

Adler Renata


The English instinctively admire any man who has no talent and is modest about it.

Adler Bill


If we don't survive, we don't do anything else.

Adler Bill


I never deny, I never contradict. I sometimes forget.

Adler Bill


I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.

Adler Bill


The more I see of men the more I admire dogs.

Adolf Hitler


Justice is incidental to law and order.

Adolph Hitler


You have all the characteristics of a popular politician: a horrible voice, bad breeding, and a vulgar manner.

Adolph Hitler


Sure there are dishonest men in local government. But there are dishonest men in national government too.

Advanced R. Bach


The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun.

Adventurer The


Money can't buy love, but it improves your bargaining position.

Aeschylus


One of my favorite jokes, a telling commentary on Jewish mothers' capacity to lay on guilt, involves the mother who gave her son two neckties on Chanuka. The boy hurried into his bedroom, ripped off the tie he was wearing, put on one of the ties his

Aeschylus


Superstition, idolatry, and hypocrisy have ample wages, but truth goes a-begging.

Aeschylus


There is no ox so dumb as the orthodox.

Aesop


Never have so many understood so little about so much.

Afer Terentius


Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.

Agnew Spiro


Everyone is in the best seat.

Agnew Spiro


The use of money is all the advantage there is to having money.

Aiken Howard


After his Ignoble Disgrace, Satan was being expelled from Heaven. As he passed through the Gates, he paused a moment in thought, and turned to God and said, "A new creature called Man, I hear, is soon to be created." "This is true," He replied.

Ajaye Franklyn


It is a wise father that knows his own child.

Ajaye Franklyn


Those who are mentally and emotionally healthy are those who have learned when to say yes, when to say no and when to say whoopee.

Ajaye Franklyn


A liberal is a person whose interests aren't at stake at the moment.

Al Capone


Any road followed to its end leads precisely nowhere. Climb the mountain just a little to test it's a mountain. From the top of the mountain, you cannot see the mountain.

Al Capone


You can bear anything if it isn't your own fault.

Aldo Leopold


They also serve who only stand and wait.

Alexand


The aim of a joke is not to degrade the human being but to remind him that he is already degraded.

Alexand


Confucius say too much.

Alexander Thea


I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.

Alexander. N.


There's nothing remarkable about it. All one has to do is hit the right keys at the right time and the instrument plays itself.

Alexandre Arnoux


Classical music is the kind we keep thinking will turn into a tune.

Alfieri


A full belly makes a dull brain.

Ali Muhammad


America is a large, friendly dog in a very small room. Every time it wags its tail, it knocks over a chair.

Alice Walker


He who knows, does not speak. He who speaks, does not know.

Alighieri Dante


You can fool all the people all of the time if the advertising is right and the budget is big enough.

Alinsky Saul


One thing I have no worry about is whether God exists. But it has occurred to me that God has Alzheimer's and has forgotten we exist.

Alinsky Saul


Anyone who knows history, particularly the history of Europe, will, I think, recognize that the domination of education or of government by any one particular religious faith is never a happy arrangement for the people.

Alinsky Saul


You can't learn too soon that the most useful thing about a principle is that it can always be sacrificed to expediency.

Alito Noelie


Time is the most valuable thing a man can spend.

Allan Virginia


The lunatic, the lover, and the poet, Are of imagination all compact...

Allen Fred


A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.

Allen Fred


The greatest productive force is human selfishness.

Allen Fred


Well begun is half done.

Allen Fred


You climb to reach the summit, but once there, discover that all roads lead down.

Allen Fred


Authors (and perhaps columnists) eventually rise to the top of whatever depths they were once able to plumb.

Allen Henry


You couldn't even prove the White House staff sane beyond a reasonable doubt.

Allen Hubert


Another such victory over the Romans, and we are undone.

Allen Woody


All diplomacy is a continuation of war by other means.

Allen Woody


The Puritan hated bear-baiting, not because it gave pain to the bear, but because it gave pleasure to the spectators.

Allen Woody


Don't get the idea that I'm one of those goddamn radicals. Don't get the idea that I'm knocking the American system.

Allen Woody


"Die? I should say not, dear fellow. No Barrymore would allow such a conventional thing to happen to him."

Allen Woody


Just because you like my stuff doesn't mean I owe you anything.

Allen Woody


Then there's the story of the man who avoided reality for 70 years with drugs, sex, alcohol, fantasy, TV, movies, records, a hobby, lots of sleep... And on his 80th birthday died without ever having faced any of his real problems. The man's young

Allen Woody


Every young man should have a hobby: learning how to handle money is the best one.

Allen Woody


Something's rotten in the state of Denmark.

Allen Woody


Take care of the luxuries and the necessities will take care of themselves.

Allen Woody


If a fool persists in his folly he shall become wise.

Allen Woody


Hotels are tired of getting ripped off. I checked into a hotel and they had towels from my house.

Allen Woody


"Remember, if it's being done correctly, here or abroad, it's ___not the U.S. Army doing it!"

Allen Woody


Were it not for the presence of the unwashed and the half-educated, the formless, queer and incomplete, the unreasonable and absurd, the infinite shapes of the delightful human tadpole, the horizon would not wear so wide a grin.

Allen Woody


If little green men land in your back yard, hide any little green women you've got in the house.

Allen Smith


I have just enough white in me to make my honesty questionable.

Allen Woody


Its name is Public Opinion. It is held in reverence. It settles everything. Some think it is the voice of God.

Allen Woody


Remember: Silly is a state of Mind, Stupid is a way of Life.

Allen Woody


The doctrine of human equality reposes on this: that there is no man really clever who has not found that he is stupid.

Alo Vincent


Many hands make light work.

Alphonse Karr


Practical people would be more practical if they would take a little more time for dreaming.

Alsop Joseph


We know all about the habits of the ant, we know all about the habits of the bee, but we know nothing at all about the habits of the oyster. It seems almost certain that we have been choosing the wrong time for studying the oyster.

Altgeld John


If reporters don't know that truth is plural, they ought to be lawyers.

Altman Robert


Chapter 1 The story so far: In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.

Ambrose St.


Govern a great nation as you would cook a small fish. Don't overdo it.

Ambrose Bierce


The road to ruin is always in good repair, and the travellers pay the expense of it.

Ambrose Bierce


If Jesus Christ were to come today, people would not even crucify him. They would ask him to dinner, and hear what he had to say, and make fun of it.

Ambrose Bierce


Corruption is not the #1 priority of the Police Commissioner. His job is to enforce the law and fight crime.

Ambrose Bierce


Porsche: there simply is no substitute.

Ambrose Bierce


Politics is the ability to foretell what is going to happen tomorrow, next week, next month and next year. And to have the ability afterwards to explain why it didn't happen.

Ambrose Bierce


Ten years of rejection slips is nature's way of telling you to stop writing.

Anacreon


About the time we think we can make ends meet, somebody moves the ends.

Anastasia Albert


Odets, where is thy sting?

Anderson Laurie


Just because everything is different doesn't mean anything has changed.

Anderson Laurie


By working faithfully eight hours a day, you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve.

Anderson Laurie


The problem with any unwritten law is that you don't know where to go to erase it.

Andre Maurois


Let us endeavor so to live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.

Anne Frank


Like, if I'm not for me, then fer shure, like who will be? And if, y'know, if I'm not like fer anyone else, then hey, I mean, what am I? And if not now, like I dunno, maybe like when? And if not Who, then I dunno, maybe like the Rolling Stones?

Anouilh Jean


A man's house is his castle.

Anouilh Jean


Standards are different for all things, so the standard set by man is by no means the only 'certain' standard. If you mistake what is relative for something certain, you have strayed far from the ultimate truth.

Anthony Piers


... Our second completely true news item was sent to me by Mr. H. Boyce Connell Jr. of Atlanta, Ga., where he is involved in a law firm. One thing I like about the South is, folks there care about tradition. If somebody gets handed a name like "H.

Anthony Susan B.


It was the Law of the Sea, they said. Civilization ends at the waterline. Beyond that, we all enter the food chain, and not always right at the top.

Antoinette Marie


"Here's the holiday schedule for Monday's observation of Martin Luther King Jr.'s birthday, when the following will be closed: * Governmental offices * Post offices * Libraries * Schools * Banks * Parts of Palm Beach and the mind of Se

Appleby Sir Humphrey


If I have to lay an egg for my country, I'll do it.

Arendt Hannah


When the sun shineth, make hay.

Aristophanes


Art is a jealous mistress.

Aristophanes


Yet creeds mean very little, Coth answered the dark god, still speaking almost gently. The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this is true.

Aristophanes


It follows that any commander in chief who undertakes to carry out a plan which he considers defective is at fault; he must put forth his reasons, insist of the plan being changed, and finally tender his resignation rather than be the instrument of h

Aristotle


What you see is from outside yourself, and may come, or not, but is beyond your control. But your fear is yours, and yours alone, like your voice, or your fingers, or your memory, and therefore yours to control. If you feel powerless over your fear

Aristotle


Life is the living you do, Death is the living you don't do.

Aristotle


Consider well the proportions of things. It is better to be a young June-bug than an old bird of paradise.

Aristotle


The executioner is, I hear, very expert, and my neck is very slender.

Aristotle


... before I could come to any conclusion it occurred to me that my speech or my silence, indeed any action of mine, would be a mere futility. What did it matter what anyone knew or ignored? What did it matter who was manager? One gets sometimes s

Aristotle


The only "ism" Hollywood believes in is plagiarism.

Aristotle


There is perhaps in every thing of any consequence, secret history, which it would be amusing to know, could we have it authentically communicated.

Aristotle


Receiving a million dollars tax free will make you feel better than being flat broke and having a stomach ache.

Arlen Michael


The Army needs leaders the way a foot needs a big toe.

Armour Richard


Anything is possible on paper.

Armstrong Louis


"The Right Honorable Gentleman is indebted to his memory for his jests and to his imagination for his facts."

Arthur Naiman


When you die, you lose a very important part of your life.

Arthur Naiman


Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.

Arthur Naiman


Since a politician never believes what he says, he is surprised when others believe him.

Arthur Sullivan


Treat your friend as if he might become an enemy.

Ashley-Pitt Alan


A prediction is worth twenty explanations.

Ashley-Pitt Alan


Good government never depends upon laws, but upon the personal qualities of those who govern. The machinery of government is always subordinate to the will of those who administer that machinery. The most important element of government, therefore,

Asimov Isaac


You are absolute plate-glass. I see to the very back of your mind.

Asimov Isaac


You'd better smile when they watch you, smile like you're in control.

Aspin Les D.


The full potentialities of human fury cannot be reached until a friend of both parties tactfully interferes.

Asterix Adventures of


She cried, and the judge wiped her tears with my checkbook.

Attorney General William


We have gone on piling weapon upon weapon, missile upon missile, new levels of destructiveness upon old ones. We have done this helplessly, almost involuntarily: like the victims of some sort of hypnotism, like men in a dream, like lemmings heading

Atwood Margaret


If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him.

Auden W.H.


Atlee is a very modest man. And with reason.

Augustine


It has long been noticed that juries are pitiless for robbery and full of indulgence for infanticide. A question of interest, my dear Sir! The jury is afraid of being robbed and has passed the age when it could be a victim of infanticide.

Augustine Norman


The Hollywood tradition I like best is called "sucking up to the stars."

Augustine Norman


Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines.

Augustine Norman


I do desire we may be better strangers.

Augustine Norman


Set the cart before the horse.

Augustine Norman


A fool's brain digests philosophy into folly, science into superstition, and art into pedantry. Hence University education.

Augustine Norman


Traveling through hyperspace isn't like dusting crops, boy.

Augustine Norman


If Presidents don't do it to their wives, they do it to the country.

Augustine Saint


The government [is] extremely fond of amassing great quantities of statistics. These are raised to the nth degree, the cube roots are extracted, and the results are arranged into elaborate and impressive displays. What must be kept ever in mind, how

Augustine St.


Never keep up with the Joneses. Drag them down to your level.

Augustine St.


Laws are like sausages. It's better not to see them being made.

Augustine St.


No house should ever be on any hill or on anything. It should be of the hill, belonging to it.

Augustine St.


Wisdom is knowing what to do with what you know.

Aurelius Marcus


With Congress, every time they make a joke it's a law; and every time they make a law it's a joke.

Aurelius Sextus


The truth is what is; what should be is a dirty lie.

Aurobindo Sri


I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday and I love today.

Aurobindo Sri


The truth of a thing is the feel of it, not the think of it.

Austen J.


Politics and the fate of mankind are formed by men without ideals and without greatness. Those who have greatness within them do not go in for politics.

Avery


We're fantastically incredibly sorry for all these extremely unreasonable things we did. I can only plead that my simple, barely-sentient friend and myself are underprivileged, deprived and also college students.

Ayres C.E.





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Churchill W.

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