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O, it is excellent To have a giant's strength; but it is tyrannous To use it like a giant.

Abigail Van Buren


Plato, by the way, wanted to banish all poets from his proposed Utopia because they were liars. The truth was that Plato knew philosophers couldn't compete successfully with poets.

About Edmond


Texas is Hell on woman and horses.

About Edmond


Americans' greatest fear is that America will turn out to have been a phenomenon, not a civilization.

About Edmond


We should realize that a city is better off with bad laws, so long as they remain fixed, then with good laws that are constantly being altered, that the lack of learning combined with sound common sense is more helpful than the kind of cleverness th

Abrams Gen. C.


There is no hunting like the hunting of man, and those who have hunted armed men long enough and liked it, never care for anything else thereafter.

Acheson Dean


Every young man should have a hobby: learning how to handle money is the best one.

Acton Lord


If there were a school for, say, sheet metal workers, that after three years left its graduates as unprepared for their careers as does law school, it would be closed down in a minute, and no doubt by lawyers.

Acton Lord


... but as records of courts and justice are admissible, it can easily be proved that powerful and malevolent magicians once existed and were a scourge to mankind. The evidence (including confession) upon which certain women were convicted of witch

Adams D.


Whoever has lived long enough to find out what life is, knows how deep a debt of gratitude we owe to Adam, the first great benefactor of our race. He brought death into the world.

Adams Franklin


This was the most unkindest cut of all.

Adams Franklin


I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.

Adams Franklin


Authors (and perhaps columnists) eventually rise to the top of whatever depths they were once able to plumb.

Adams Henry


The capacity of human beings to bore one another seems to be vastly greater than that of any other animals. Some of their most esteemed inventions have no other apparent purpose, for example, the dinner party of more than two, the epic poem, and the

Adams Henry Brook


God was satisfied with his own work, and that is fatal.

Adams John


Set the cart before the horse.

Adams John Quincy


I consider a new device or technology to have been culturally accepted when it has been used to commit a murder.

Adams Samuel


A writer is congenitally unable to tell the truth and that is why we call what he writes fiction.

Adams Douglas


The fact that it works is immaterial.

AdamsHenry


Before he became a hermit, Zarathud was a young Priest, and took great delight in making fools of his opponents in front of his followers. One day Zarathud took his students to a pleasant pasture and there he confronted The Sacred Chao while She

Ade George


With Congress, every time they make a joke it's a law; and every time they make a law it's a joke.

Adenauer Dr. Konrad


Si jeunesse savait, si vieillesse pouvait. [If youth but knew, if old age but could.]

Adenauer Konrad


Beware of all enterprises that require new clothes, and not rather a new wearer of clothes.

Adler Alfred


She cried, and the judge wiped her tears with my checkbook.

Adler Alfred


After his Ignoble Disgrace, Satan was being expelled from Heaven. As he passed through the Gates, he paused a moment in thought, and turned to God and said, "A new creature called Man, I hear, is soon to be created." "This is true," He replied.

Adler Renata


Charity begins at home.

Adler Bill


... Our second completely true news item was sent to me by Mr. H. Boyce Connell Jr. of Atlanta, Ga., where he is involved in a law firm. One thing I like about the South is, folks there care about tradition. If somebody gets handed a name like "H.

Adler Bill


Plastic... Aluminum... These are the inheritors of the Universe! Flesh and Blood have had their day... and that day is past!

Adler Bill


Writing about music is like dancing about architecture.

Adler Bill


Scratch the average female and you'll find a purring bundle... at the ready to love and honor, bake a torte and still produce quintuplets.

Adolf Hitler


Facts are the enemy of truth.

Adolph Hitler


Diary of a Young Girl LITE(tm)

Adolph Hitler


Marijuana will be legal some day, because the many law students who now smoke pot will someday become congressmen and legalize it in order to protect themselves.

Advanced R. Bach


The chief danger in life is that you may take too many precautions.

Adventurer The


Certain passages in several laws have always defied interpretation and the most inexplicable must be a matter of opinion. A judge of the Court of Session of Scotland has sent the editors of this book his candidate which reads, "In the Nuts (unground

Aeschylus


Someone did a study of the three most-often-heard phrases in New York City. One is "Hey, taxi." Two is, "What train do I take to get to Bloomingdale's?" And three is, "Don't worry. It's just a flesh wound."

Aeschylus


The only thing that experience teaches us is that experience teaches us nothing.

Aeschylus


I was part of that strange race of people aptly described as spending their lives doing things they detest to make money they don't want to buy things they don't need to impress people they dislike.

Aesop


Alas, I am dying beyond my means.

Afer Terentius


The term "fire" brings up visions of violence and mayhem and the ugly scene of shooting employees who make mistakes. We will now refer to this process as "deleting" an employee (much as a file is deleted from a disk). The employee is simply there o

Agnew Spiro


The more the merrier.

Agnew Spiro


When in doubt, tell the truth.

Aiken Howard


Nobody can be exactly like me. Sometimes even I have trouble doing it.

Ajaye Franklyn


Like so many Americans, she was trying to construct a life that made sense from things she found in gift shops.

Ajaye Franklyn


He played the king as if afraid someone else would play the ace.

Ajaye Franklyn


A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the word you first thought of.

Al Capone


The proof of the pudding is in the eating.

Al Capone


Pauca sed matura. [Few but excellent.]

Aldo Leopold


Since everything in life is but an experience perfect in being what it is, having nothing to do with good or bad, acceptance or rejection, one may well burst out in laughter.

Alexand


By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity. Another man's, I mean.

Alexand


You get what you pay for.

Alexander Thea


To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.

Alexander. N.


It is up to us to produce better-quality movies.

Alexandre Arnoux


Receiving a million dollars tax free will make you feel better than being flat broke and having a stomach ache.

Alfieri


Woman is generally so bad that the difference between a good and a bad woman scarcely exists.

Ali Muhammad


Every word is like an unnecessary stain on silence and nothingness.

Alice Walker


If you live in New York, even if you're Catholic, you're Jewish.

Alighieri Dante


Sorry 'bout that sweat, honey. That's just holy water.

Alinsky Saul


Have a place for everything and keep the thing somewhere else; this is not advice, it is merely custom.

Alinsky Saul


It is Mr. Mellon's credo that $200,000,000 can do no wrong. Our offense consists in doubting it.

Alinsky Saul


If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world.

Alito Noelie


Talking about music is like dancing about architecture.

Allan Virginia


Trust in Allah, but tie your camel.

Allen Fred


Zero Mostel: That's it baby! When you got it, flaunt it! Flaunt it!

Allen Fred


Competence, like truth, beauty, and contact lenses, is in the eye of the beholder.

Allen Fred


The past always looks better than it was. It's only pleasant because it isn't here.

Allen Fred


The chief enemy of creativity is "good" sense

Allen Fred


It is sweet to let the mind unbend on occasion.

Allen Henry


There's nothing remarkable about it. All one has to do is hit the right keys at the right time and the instrument plays itself.

Allen Hubert


Money doesn't talk, it swears.

Allen Woody


It is your concern when your neighbor's wall is on fire.

Allen Woody


Time is but the stream I go a-fishing in.

Allen Woody


Let us endeavor so to live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.

Allen Woody


If Beethoven's Seventh Symphony is not by some means abridged, it will soon fall into disuse.

Allen Woody


Just once I would like to persuade the audience not to wear any article of blue denim. If only they could see themselves in a pair of brown corduroys like mine instead of this awful, boring blue denim. I don't enjoy the sky or sea as much as I used

Allen Woody


The chief cause of problems is solutions.

Allen Woody


Superstition, idolatry, and hypocrisy have ample wages, but truth goes a-begging.

Allen Woody


Nullum magnum ingenium sine mixtura dementiae fuit. [There is no great genius without some touch of madness.]

Allen Woody


I went into the business for the money, and the art grew out of it. If people are disillusioned by that remark, I can't help it. It's the truth.

Allen Woody


I am, in point of fact, a particularly haughty and exclusive person, of pre-Adamite ancestral descent. You will understand this when I tell you that I can trace my ancestry back to a protoplasmal primordial atomic globule. Consequently, my family p

Allen Woody


Luke, I'm yer father, eh. Come over to the dark side, you hoser.

Allen Woody


Why are you doing this to me? Because knowledge is torture, and there must be awareness before there is change.

Allen Woody


In a museum in Havana, there are two skulls of Christopher Columbus, "one when he was a boy and one when he was a man."

Allen Woody


Among all savage beasts, none is found so harmful as woman.

Allen Smith


Necessity hath no law.

Allen Woody


No house should ever be on any hill or on anything. It should be of the hill, belonging to it.

Allen Woody


You k'n hide de fier, but w'at you gwine do wid de smoke?

Allen Woody


The only "ism" Hollywood believes in is plagiarism.

Alo Vincent


When a fellow says, "It ain't the money but the principle of the thing," it's the money.

Alphonse Karr


A fool's brain digests philosophy into folly, science into superstition, and art into pedantry. Hence University education.

Alsop Joseph


Everybody likes a kidder, but nobody lends him money.

Altgeld John


Living in New York City gives people real incentives to want things that nobody else wants.

Altman Robert


Do you know the difference between education and experience? Education is what you get when you read the fine print; experience is what you get when you don't.

Ambrose St.


There are no answers, only cross-references.

Ambrose Bierce


I am a man: nothing human is alien to me.

Ambrose Bierce


The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and the lightning bug.

Ambrose Bierce


Unless hours were cups of sack, and minutes capons, and clocks the tongues of bawds, and dials the signs of leaping houses, and the blessed sun himself a fair, hot wench in flame-colored taffeta, I see no reason why thou shouldst be so superfluous to

Ambrose Bierce


A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds.

Ambrose Bierce


Star Wars is adolescent nonsense; Close Encounters is obscurantist drivel; Star Trek can turn your brains to puree of bat guano; and the greatest science fiction series of all time is Doctor Who! And I'll take you all on, one-by-one or all in a bunc

Ambrose Bierce


A beginning is the time for taking the most delicate care that balances are correct.

Anacreon


Yesterday I was a dog. Today I'm a dog. Tomorrow I'll probably still be a dog. Sigh! There's so little hope for advancement.

Anastasia Albert


Money can't buy love, but it improves your bargaining position.

Anderson Laurie


Bullwinkle: You just leave that to my pal. He's the brains of the outfit. General: What does that make YOU? Bullwinkle: What else? An executive.

Anderson Laurie


The man-hating woman, like the cold woman, is largely imaginary. She is simply a woman who has done her best to snare a man and has failed.

Anderson Laurie


It was the next morning that the armies of Twodor marched east laden with long lances, sharp swords, and death-dealing hangovers. The thousands were led by Arrowroot, who sat limply in his sidesaddle, nursing a whopper. Goodgulf, Gimlet, and the r

Andre Maurois


When one burns one's bridges, what a very nice fire it makes.

Anne Frank


The primary cause of failure in electrical appliances is an expired warranty. Often, you can get an appliance running again simply by changing the warranty expiration date with a 15/64-inch felt-tipped marker.

Anouilh Jean


The only cultural advantage LA has over NY is that you can make a right turn on a red light.

Anouilh Jean


"Benson, you are so free of the ravages of intelligence"

Anthony Piers


The salary of the chief executive of the large corporation is not a market award for achievement. It is frequently in the nature of a warm personal gesture by the individual to himself.

Anthony Susan B.


Nothing will ever be attempted if all possible objections must be first overcome.

Antoinette Marie


"All snakes who wish to remain in Ireland will please raise their right hands."

Appleby Sir Humphrey


Many enraged psychiatrists are inciting a weary butcher. The butcher is weary and tired because he has cut meat and steak and lamb for hours and weeks. He does not desire to chant about anything with raving psychiatrists, but he sings about his gin

Arendt Hannah


Trifles make perfection, and perfection is no trifle.

Aristophanes


A man's house is his castle.

Aristophanes


The only really good place to buy lumber is at a store where the lumber has already been cut and attached together in the form of furniture, finished, and put inside boxes.

Aristophanes


The ratio of literacy to illiteracy is a constant, but nowadays the illiterates can read.

Aristotle


"There was an interesting development in the CBS-Westmoreland trial: both sides agreed that after the trial, Andy Rooney would be allowed to talk to the jury for three minutes about little things that annoyed him during the trial."

Aristotle


I went into a bar feeling a little depressed, the bartender said, "What'll you have, Bud"? I said," I don't know, surprise me". So he showed me a nude picture of my wife.

Aristotle


Men will fuck mud.

Aristotle


The sunlights differ, but there is only one darkness.

Aristotle


It is right that he too should have his little chronicle, his memories, his reason, and be able to recognize the good in the bad, the bad in the worst, and so grow gently old all down the unchanging days and die one day like any other day, only short

Aristotle


We have art that we do not die of the truth.

Aristotle


That's no moon...

Aristotle


If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

Arlen Michael


Mankind is poised midway between the gods and the beasts.

Armour Richard


Do not despair of life. You have no doubt force enough to overcome your obstacles. Think of the fox prowling through wood and field in a winter night for something to satisfy his hunger. Notwithstanding cold and hounds and traps, his race survives

Armstrong Louis


Mike: "The Fourth Dimension is a shambles?" Bernie: "Nobody ever empties the ashtrays. People are SO inconsiderate."

Arthur Naiman


My theology, briefly, is that the universe was dictated but not signed.

Arthur Naiman


You can no more win a war than you can win an earthquake.

Arthur Naiman


Nothing matters very much, and few things matter at all.

Arthur Sullivan


XXI: It's easy to get a loan unless you need it. XXII: If stock market experts were so expert, they would be buying stock, not selling advice. XXIII: Any task can be completed in only one-third more time than is currently estimated. XXIV:

Ashley-Pitt Alan


When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

Ashley-Pitt Alan


I'm always looking for a new idea that will be more productive than its cost.

Asimov Isaac


"There is no Father Christmas. It's just a marketing ploy to make low income parents' lives a misery." "... I want you to picture the trusting face of a child, streaked with tears because of what you just said." "I want you to picture the face of

Asimov Isaac


I have a simple philosophy: Fill what's empty. Empty what's full. Scratch where it itches.

Aspin Les D.


To add insult to injury.

Asterix Adventures of


A woman takes off her claim to respect along with her garments.

Attorney General William


A lie is an abomination unto the Lord and a very present help in time of trouble.

Atwood Margaret


He who makes a beast of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man.

Auden W.H.


Skill without imagination is craftsmanship and gives us many useful objects such as wickerwork picnic baskets. Imagination without skill gives us modern art.

Augustine


The problem that we thought was a problem was, indeed, a problem, but not the problem we thought was the problem.

Augustine Norman


Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils.

Augustine Norman


If there is no wind, row.

Augustine Norman


Everyone is in the best seat.

Augustine Norman


Gauls! We have nothing to fear; except perhaps that the sky may fall on our heads tomorrow. But as we all know, tomorrow never comes!!

Augustine Norman


There is always one thing to remember: writers are always selling somebody out.

Augustine Norman


It is common sense to take a method and try it. If it fails, admit it frankly and try another. But above all, try something.

Augustine Norman


I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph.

Augustine Saint


We have lingered long enough on the shores of the Cosmic Ocean.

Augustine St.


Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it.

Augustine St.


Rascal, am I? Take THAT!

Augustine St.


Standards are different for all things, so the standard set by man is by no means the only 'certain' standard. If you mistake what is relative for something certain, you have strayed far from the ultimate truth.

Augustine St.


Objectivity is to a newspaper what virtue is to a woman.

Aurelius Marcus


Honesty is for the most part less profitable than dishonesty.

Aurelius Sextus


It is wise to keep in mind that neither success nor failure is ever final.

Aurobindo Sri


We rarely find anyone who can say he has lived a happy life, and who, content with his life, can retire from the world like a satisfied guest.

Aurobindo Sri


Money can't buy happiness, but it can make you awfully comfortable while you're being miserable.

Austen J.


The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring a nature that it will last through a whole lifetime, if not asked to lend money.

Avery


About the time we think we can make ends meet, somebody moves the ends.

Ayres C.E.





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There is no ox so dumb as the orthodox.
Gillette George Francis

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