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Most general statements are false, including this one.

Abigail Van Buren

I used to be disgusted, now I find I'm just amused.

About Edmond

The price one pays for pursuing any profession, or calling, is an intimate knowledge of its ugly side.

About Edmond

When a shepherd goes to kill a wolf, and takes his dog along to see the sport, he should take care to avoid mistakes. The dog has certain relationships to the wolf the shepherd may have forgotten.

About Edmond

The major sin is the sin of being born.

Abrams Gen. C.

My daddy's brains was so scrambled he thought he was Jesus. They put him in a nut house for 5 years and when he got out, he didn't think he was Jesus, he thought he was *God*! ... Which made me Jesus.

Acheson Dean

Man proposes, God disposes.

Acton Lord

If little green men land in your back yard, hide any little green women you've got in the house.

Acton Lord

The streets were dark with something more than night.

Adams D.

Every person, all the events in your life are there because you have drawn them there. What you choose to do with them is up to you.

Adams Franklin

There is no distinctly native American criminal class except Congress.

Adams Franklin

Education and religion are two things not regulated by supply and demand. The less of either the people have, the less they want.

Adams Franklin

Better tried by twelve than carried by six.

Adams Henry

"What was the worst thing you've ever done?" "I won't tell you that, but I'll tell you the worst thing that ever happened to me... the most dreadful thing."

Adams Henry Brook

To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.

Adams John

Before he became a hermit, Zarathud was a young Priest, and took great delight in making fools of his opponents in front of his followers. One day Zarathud took his students to a pleasant pasture and there he confronted The Sacred Chao while She

Adams John Quincy

Men are superior to women.

Adams Samuel

When I have one foot in the grave I will tell the truth about women. I shall tell it, jump into my coffin, pull the lid over me, and say, "Do what you like now."

Adams Douglas

There are people who find it odd to eat four or five Chinese meals in a row; in China, I often remind them, there are a billion or so people who find nothing odd about it.



Ade George

The human animal differs from the lesser primates in his passion for lists of "Ten Best".

Adenauer Dr. Konrad

How apt the poor are to be proud.

Adenauer Konrad

The lunatic, the lover, and the poet, Are of imagination all compact...

Adler Alfred

Two can Live as Cheaply as One for Half as Long.

Adler Alfred

I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark.

Adler Renata

With women, I've got a long bamboo pole with a leather loop on the end of it. I slip the loop around their necks so they can't get away or come too close. Like catching snakes.

Adler Bill

Nothing will ever be attempted if all possible objections must be first overcome.

Adler Bill

Plumbing is one of the easier of do-it-yourself activities, requiring only a few simple tools and a willingness to stick your arm into a clogged toilet. In fact, you can solve many home plumbing problems, such as annoying faucet drip, merely by tur

Adler Bill

I'm glad I was not born before tea.

Adler Bill

The optimist thinks that this is the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist knows it.

Adolf Hitler

October 12, the Discovery. It was wonderful to find America, but it would have been more wonderful to miss it.

Adolph Hitler

He who makes a beast of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man.

Adolph Hitler

Traveling through hyperspace isn't like dusting crops, boy.

Advanced R. Bach

The seven deadly sins ... Food, clothing, firing, rent, taxes, respectability and children. Nothing can lift those seven milestones from man's neck but money; and the spirit cannot soar until the milestones are lifted.

Adventurer The

Life being what it is, one dreams of revenge.


The whole earth is in jail and we're plotting this incredible jailbreak.


"Is it just me, or does anyone else read `bible humpers' every time someone writes `bible thumpers?'


For thee the wonder-working earth puts forth sweet flowers.


The Worst Jury A murder trial at Manitoba in February 1978 was well advanced, when one juror revealed that he was completely deaf and did not have the remotest clue what was happening. The judge, Mr. Justice Solomon, asked him if he had heard any

Afer Terentius

It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle if it is lightly greased.

Agnew Spiro

Sometimes a man who deserves to be looked down upon because he is a fool is despised only because he is a lawyer.

Agnew Spiro

Fame is a vapor; popularity an accident; the only earthly certainty is oblivion.

Aiken Howard

Most Texans think Hanukkah is some sort of duck call.

Ajaye Franklyn

There are three reasons for becoming a writer: the first is that you need the money; the second that you have something to say that you think the world should know; the third is that you can't think what to do with the long winter evenings.

Ajaye Franklyn

Ever get the feeling that the world's on tape and one of the reels is missing?

Ajaye Franklyn

Where it is a duty to worship the sun it is pretty sure to be a crime to examine the laws of heat.

Al Capone

Innovation is hard to schedule.

Al Capone

Love the sea? I dote upon it

Aldo Leopold

It looks like it's up to me to save our skins. Get into that garbage chute, flyboy!


A morgue is a morgue is a morgue. They can paint the walls with aggressively cheerful primary colors and splashy bold graphics, but it's still a holding place for the dead until they can be parted out to organ banks. Not that I would have cared nor


Suspicion always haunts the guilty mind.

Alexander Thea

The surest protection against temptation is cowardice.

Alexander. N.

If one cannot enjoy reading a book over and over again, there is no use in reading it at all.

Alexandre Arnoux

... it still remains true that as a set of cognitive beliefs about the existence of God in any recognizable sense continuous with the great systems of the past, religious doctrines constitute a speculative hypothesis of an extremely low order of prob


You can no more win a war than you can win an earthquake.

Ali Muhammad

You have all eternity to be cautious in when you're dead.

Alice Walker

There's no justice in this world.

Alighieri Dante

Practice yourself what you preach.

Alinsky Saul

I hate quotations.

Alinsky Saul

A lot of people I know believe in positive thinking, and so do I. I believe everything positively stinks.

Alinsky Saul

My theology, briefly, is that the universe was dictated but not signed.

Alito Noelie

It's all right letting yourself go as long as you can let yourself back.

Allan Virginia

Life is like a sewer. What you get out of it depends on what you put into it.

Allen Fred

If you want to know what god thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.

Allen Fred

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?

Allen Fred

Hell is empty and all the devils are here.

Allen Fred

Welcome to Lake Wobegon, where all the men are strong, the women are pretty, and the children are above-average.

Allen Fred

In the first place, God made idiots; this was for practice; then he made school boards.

Allen Henry

To err is human, to repent, divine, to persist, devilish.

Allen Hubert

You first have to decide whether to use the short or the long form. The short form is what the Internal Revenue Service calls "simplified", which means it is designed for people who need the help of a Sears tax-preparation expert to distinguish betwe

Allen Woody

I'll never get off this planet.

Allen Woody

L'hazard ne favorise que l'esprit prepare.

Allen Woody

No live organism can continue for long to exist sanely under conditions of absolute reality; even larks and katydids are supposed, by some, to dream. Hill House, not sane, stood by itself against its hills, holding darkness within; it had stood so fo

Allen Woody

October. This is one of the peculiarly dangerous months to speculate in stocks in. The others are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, December, August, and February.

Allen Woody

I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn't know.

Allen Woody

You see, I consider that a man's brain originally is like a little empty attic, and you have to stock it with such furniture as you choose. A fool takes in all the lumber of every sort he comes across, so that the knowledge which might be useful to

Allen Woody

Laws are like sausages. It's better not to see them being made.

Allen Woody

Pereant, inquit, qui ante nos nostra dixerunt. [Confound those who have said our remarks before us.] or [May they perish who have expressed our bright ideas before us.]

Allen Woody

Our policy is, when in doubt, do the right thing.

Allen Woody

Delay not, Caesar. Read it instantly.

Allen Woody

Know what I hate most? Rhetorical questions.

Allen Woody

Think sideways!

Allen Woody

Now it is such a bizarrely improbable coincidence that anything so mind- bogglingly useful could have evolved purely by chance that some thinkers have chosen to see it as a final and clinching proof of the non-existence of God. The argument follows:

Allen Woody

Executive ability is deciding quickly and getting somebody else to do the work.

Allen Smith

The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers.

Allen Woody

It has long been noticed that juries are pitiless for robbery and full of indulgence for infanticide. A question of interest, my dear Sir! The jury is afraid of being robbed and has passed the age when it could be a victim of infanticide.

Allen Woody

Yet creeds mean very little, Coth answered the dark god, still speaking almost gently. The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this is true.

Allen Woody

My band career ended late in my senior year when John Cooper and I threw my amplifier out the dormitory window. We did not act in haste. First we checked to make sure the amplifier would fit through the frame, using the belt from my bathrobe to meas

Alo Vincent

There is no doubt that my lawyer is honest. For example, when he filed his income tax return last year, he declared half of his salary as 'unearned income.'

Alphonse Karr

According to my best recollection, I don't remember.

Alsop Joseph

I have had my television aerials removed. It's the moral equivalent of a prostate operation.

Altgeld John

Persons attempting to find a motive in this narrative will be prosecuted; persons attempting to find a moral in it will be banished; persons attempting to find a plot in it will be shot. By Order of the Author

Altman Robert

The whole religious complexion of the modern world is due to the absence from Jerusalem of a lunatic asylum.

Ambrose St.

All this wheeling and dealing around, why, it isn't for money, it's for fun. Money's just the way we keep score.

Ambrose Bierce

She cried, and the judge wiped her tears with my checkbook.

Ambrose Bierce

The only problem with seeing too much is that it makes you insane.

Ambrose Bierce

What passes for optimism is most often the effect of an intellectual error.

Ambrose Bierce

Americans' greatest fear is that America will turn out to have been a phenomenon, not a civilization.

Ambrose Bierce

The optimum committee has no members.

Ambrose Bierce

"It says he made us all to be just like him. So if we're dumb, then god is dumb, and maybe even a little ugly on the side."


Go away, I'm all right.

Anastasia Albert

Alas, I am dying beyond my means.

Anderson Laurie

Whoever has lived long enough to find out what life is, knows how deep a debt of gratitude we owe to Adam, the first great benefactor of our race. He brought death into the world.

Anderson Laurie

Lo! Men have become the tool of their tools.

Anderson Laurie

I will honour Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year. I will live in the Past, the Present, and the Future. The Spirits of all Three shall strive within me. I will not shut out the lessons that they teach. Oh, tell me that I may s

Andre Maurois

What does it take for Americans to do great things; to go to the moon, to win wars, to dig canals linking oceans, to build railroads across a continent? In independent thought about this question, Neil Armstrong and I concluded that it takes a coinci

Anne Frank

It is impossible to enjoy idling thoroughly unless one has plenty of work to do.

Anouilh Jean

A game can by God repent or we'll punish it. That's how they did it in Salem in the seventeenth century, and that's how we'll do it now.

Anouilh Jean

It took me fifteen years to discover that I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by that time I was too famous.

Anthony Piers

Sometimes a man who deserves to be looked down upon because he is a fool is despised only because he is a lawyer.

Anthony Susan B.

The Least Successful Equal Pay Advertisement In 1976 the European Economic Community pointed out to the Irish Government that it had not yet implemented the agreed sex equality legislation. The Dublin Government immediately advertised for an equal

Antoinette Marie

TO THOSE OF YOU WHO DESIRE IT, I GRANT YOU MADRAK'S BLESSING: Insofar as I may be heard by anything, which may or may not care what I say, I ask, if it matters, that you be forgiven for anything you may have done or failed to do which requires for

Appleby Sir Humphrey

Let's say your wedding ring falls into your toaster, and when you stick your hand in to retrieve it, you suffer Pain and Suffering as well as Mental Anguish. You would sue: * The toaster manufacturer, for failure to include, in the instructions

Arendt Hannah

The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.


The Hollywood tradition I like best is called "sucking up to the stars."


Everything takes longer, costs more, and is less useful.


Gone With The Wind LITE(tm)


Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.


Well, don't worry about it... It's nothing.


Money doesn't talk, it swears.


Ninety percent of the time things turn out worse than you thought they would. The other ten percent of the time you had no right to expect that much.


He who fears the unknown may one day flee from his own backside.


Even the best of friends cannot attend each other's funeral.


In case of fire, stand in the hall and shout "Fire!"


"If once a man indulges himself in murder, very soon he comes to think little of robbing; and from robbing he next comes to drinking and Sabbath-breaking, and from that to incivility and procrastination."

Arlen Michael

I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter.

Armour Richard

A Tale of Two Cities LITE(tm)

Armstrong Louis

They have been at a great feast of languages, and stolen the scraps.

Arthur Naiman

Seeing that death, a necessary end, Will come when it will come.

Arthur Naiman

I go on working for the same reason a hen goes on laying eggs.

Arthur Naiman

He who knows, does not speak. He who speaks, does not know.

Arthur Sullivan

Brahma said: Well, after hearing ten thousand explanations, a fool is no wiser. But an intelligent man needs only two thousand five hundred.

Ashley-Pitt Alan

For the fashion of Minas Tirith was such that it was built on seven levels, each delved into a hill, and about each was set a wall, and in each wall was a gate.

Ashley-Pitt Alan

Some performers on television appear to be horrible people, but when you finally get to know them in person, they turn out to be even worse.

Asimov Isaac

No small art is it to sleep: it is necessary for that purpose to keep awake all day.

Asimov Isaac

My dear People. My dear Bagginses and Boffins, and my dear Tooks and Brandybucks, and Grubbs, and Chubbs, and Burrowses, and Hornblowers, and Bolgers, Bracegirdles, Goodbodies, Brockhouses and Proudfoots. Also my good Sackville Bagginses that I w

Aspin Les D.

In the begining, God created the Earth and he said, "Let there be mud." And there was mud. And God said, "Let Us make living creatures out of mud, so the mud can see what we have done." And God created every living creature that now moveth, and

Asterix Adventures of

If Jesus Christ were to come today, people would not even crucify him. They would ask him to dinner, and hear what he had to say, and make fun of it.

Attorney General William

To know Edina is to reject it.

Atwood Margaret

It's not enough to be Hungarian; you must have talent too.

Auden W.H.

When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.


The profession of book writing makes horse racing seem like a solid, stable business.

Augustine Norman

Bingo, gas station, hamburger with a side order of airplane noise, and you'll be Gary, Indiana.

Augustine Norman

Lookie, lookie, here comes cookie...

Augustine Norman

Three o'clock in the afternoon is always just a little too late or a little too early for anything you want to do.

Augustine Norman

We all live in a state of ambitious poverty.

Augustine Norman

A likely impossibility is always preferable to an unconvincing possibility.

Augustine Norman

Flame on!

Augustine Norman

The sunlights differ, but there is only one darkness.

Augustine Saint

Take your work seriously but never take yourself seriously; and do not take what happens either to yourself or your work seriously.

Augustine St.

The whole world is a scab. The point is to pick it constructively.

Augustine St.

You should never wear your best trousers when you go out to fight for freedom and liberty.

Augustine St.

I never made a mistake in my life. I thought I did once, but I was wrong.

Augustine St.

I didn't believe in reincarnation in any of my other lives. I don't see why I should have to believe in it in this one.

Aurelius Marcus

The nearer to the church, the further from God.

Aurelius Sextus

... difference of opinion is advantagious in religion. The several sects perform the office of a common censor morum over each other. Is uniformity attainable? Millions of innocent men, women, and children, since the introduction of Christianity,

Aurobindo Sri

A sequel is an admission that you've been reduced to imitating yourself.

Aurobindo Sri

A Christian is a man who feels repentance on Sunday for what he did on Saturday and is going to do on Monday.

Austen J.

Where you stand depends on where you sit.


We were so poor we couldn't afford a watchdog. If we heard a noise at night, we'd bark ourselves.

Ayres C.E.

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Don't talk to me about naval tradition. It's nothing but rum, sodomy and the lash.
Churchill Winston

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