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I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve immortality through not dying.

Abigail Van Buren


"Do you think there's a God?" "Well, ____SOMEbody's out to get me!"

About Edmond


The sky is blue so we know where to stop mowing.

About Edmond


A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds.

About Edmond


There is no doubt that my lawyer is honest. For example, when he filed his income tax return last year, he declared half of his salary as 'unearned income.'

Abrams Gen. C.


No problem is so formidable that you can't just walk away from it.

Acheson Dean


Doctors and lawyers must go to school for years and years, often with little sleep and with great sacrifice to their first wives.

Acton Lord


I need another lawyer like I need another hole in my head.

Acton Lord


"You've got to have a gimmick if your band sucks."

Adams D.


The means-and-ends moralists, or non-doers, always end up on their ends without any means.

Adams Franklin


The lawgiver, of all beings, most owes the law allegiance. He of all men should behave as though the law compelled him. But it is the universal weakness of mankind that what we are given to administer we presently imagine we own.

Adams Franklin


God is Dead.

Adams Franklin


If God is One, what is bad?

Adams Henry


Even if you do learn to speak correct English, whom are you going to speak it to?

Adams Henry Brook


I never cheated an honest man, only rascals. They wanted something for nothing. I gave them nothing for something.

Adams John


Here's to women. Would that we could fall into her arms without falling into her hands.

Adams John Quincy


We rarely find anyone who can say he has lived a happy life, and who, content with his life, can retire from the world like a satisfied guest.

Adams Samuel


There is a natural hootchy-kootchy to a goldfish.

Adams Douglas


Intellect annuls Fate. So far as a man thinks, he is free.

AdamsHenry


All is well that ends well.

Ade George


... but as records of courts and justice are admissible, it can easily be proved that powerful and malevolent magicians once existed and were a scourge to mankind. The evidence (including confession) upon which certain women were convicted of witch

Adenauer Dr. Konrad


It's hard to drive at the limit, but it's harder to know where the limits are.

Adenauer Konrad


A committee takes root and grows, it flowers, wilts and dies, scattering the seed from which other committees will bloom.

Adler Alfred


Doubt isn't the opposite of faith; it is an element of faith.

Adler Alfred


The only reward of virtue is virtue.

Adler Renata


In the highest society, as well as in the lowest, woman is merely an instrument of pleasure.

Adler Bill


If happiness is in your destiny, you need not be in a hurry.

Adler Bill


Don't guess

Adler Bill


Where there is much light there is also much shadow.

Adler Bill


Neckties strangle clear thinking.

Adolf Hitler


Sweet April showers do spring May flowers.

Adolph Hitler


How do you explain school to a higher intelligence?

Adolph Hitler


If there is no wind, row.

Advanced R. Bach


The sunlights differ, but there is only one darkness.

Adventurer The


An older student came to Otis and said, "I have been to see a great number of teachers and I have given up a great number of pleasures. I have fasted, been celibate and stayed awake nights seeking enlightenment. I have given up everything I was aske

Aeschylus


The eye is a menace to clear sight, the ear is a menace to subtle hearing, the mind is a menace to wisdom, every organ of the senses is a menace to its own capacity. ... Fuss, the god of the Southern Ocean, and Fret, the god of the Northern Ocean, h

Aeschylus


The college graduate is presented with a sheepskin to cover his intellectual nakedness.

Aeschylus


The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in the mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function.

Aesop


Those who do things in a noble spirit of self-sacrifice are to be avoided at all costs.

Afer Terentius


How can you prove whether at this moment we are sleeping, and all our thoughts are a dream; or whether we are awake, and talking to one another in the waking state?

Agnew Spiro


Ignorance is the Mother of Devotion.

Agnew Spiro


It is through symbols that man consciously or unconsciously lives, works and has his being.

Aiken Howard


"The chain which can be yanked is not the eternal chain."

Ajaye Franklyn


Home is where the hurt is.

Ajaye Franklyn


At ebb tide I wrote a line upon the sand, and gave it all my heart and all my soul. At flood tide I returned to read what I had inscribed and found my ignorance upon the shore.

Ajaye Franklyn


Beauty is one of the rare things which does not lead to doubt of God.

Al Capone


The Law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich, as well as the poor, to sleep under the bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread.

Al Capone


As well look for a needle in a bottle of hay.

Aldo Leopold


Nonsense and beauty have close connections.

Alexand


A man who cannot seduce men cannot save them either.

Alexand


She cried, and the judge wiped her tears with my checkbook.

Alexander Thea


To teach is to learn twice.

Alexander. N.


We can embody the truth, but we cannot know it.

Alexandre Arnoux


Progress might have been all right once, but it's gone on too long.

Alfieri


Mental power tended to corrupt, and absolute intelligence tended to corrupt absolutely, until the victim eschewed violence entirely in favor of smart solutions to stupid problems.

Ali Muhammad


Nothing recedes like success.

Alice Walker


For certain people, after fifty, litigation takes the place of sex.

Alighieri Dante


Standards are different for all things, so the standard set by man is by no means the only 'certain' standard. If you mistake what is relative for something certain, you have strayed far from the ultimate truth.

Alinsky Saul


If ever the pleasure of one has to be bought by the pain of the other, there better be no trade. A trade by which one gains and the other loses is a fraud.

Alinsky Saul


Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration.

Alinsky Saul


Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself.

Alito Noelie


The Least Successful Equal Pay Advertisement In 1976 the European Economic Community pointed out to the Irish Government that it had not yet implemented the agreed sex equality legislation. The Dublin Government immediately advertised for an equal

Allan Virginia


Examinations are formidable even to the best prepared, for even the greatest fool may ask more the the wisest man can answer.

Allen Fred


Reality is just a convenient measure of complexity.

Allen Fred


An office party is not, as is sometimes supposed the Managing Director's chance to kiss the tea-girl. It is the tea-girl's chance to kiss the Managing Director (however bizarre an ambition this may seem to anyone who has seen the Managing Director f

Allen Fred


Hotels are tired of getting ripped off. I checked into a hotel and they had towels from my house.

Allen Fred


It has long been noticed that juries are pitiless for robbery and full of indulgence for infanticide. A question of interest, my dear Sir! The jury is afraid of being robbed and has passed the age when it could be a victim of infanticide.

Allen Fred


"No job too big; no fee too big!"

Allen Henry


A good reputation is more valuable than money.

Allen Hubert


In the long run we are all dead.

Allen Woody


If we don't survive, we don't do anything else.

Allen Woody


It is Mr. Mellon's credo that $200,000,000 can do no wrong. Our offense consists in doubting it.

Allen Woody


A woman who is guided by the head and not by the heart is a social pestilence: she has all the defects of the passionate and affectionate woman, with none of her compensations; she is without pity, without love, without virtue, without sex.

Allen Woody


"There is no Father Christmas. It's just a marketing ploy to make low income parents' lives a misery." "... I want you to picture the trusting face of a child, streaked with tears because of what you just said." "I want you to picture the face of

Allen Woody


A likely impossibility is always preferable to an unconvincing possibility.

Allen Woody


Once there lived a village of creatures along the bottom of a great crystal river. Each creature in its own manner clung tightly to the twigs and rocks of the river bottom, for clinging was their way of life, and resisting the current what each had

Allen Woody


Think lucky. If you fall in a pond, check your pockets for fish.

Allen Woody


Executive ability is deciding quickly and getting somebody else to do the work.

Allen Woody


Don't steal; thou'lt never thus compete successfully in business. Cheat.

Allen Woody


In breeding cattle you need one bull for every twenty-five cows, unless the cows are known sluts.

Allen Woody


There is always something new out of Africa.

Allen Woody


The farther you go, the less you know.

Allen Woody


The superior man understands what is right; the inferior man understands what will sell.

Allen Woody


A commune is where people join together to share their lack of wealth.

Allen Smith


If you are shooting under 80 you are neglecting your business; over 80 you are neglecting your golf.

Allen Woody


The best executive is one who has sense enough to pick good people to do what he wants done, and self-restraint enough to keep from meddling with them while they do it.

Allen Woody


There are no accidents whatsoever in the universe.

Allen Woody


Optimism is the content of small men in high places.

Alo Vincent


What does not destroy me, makes me stronger.

Alphonse Karr


Fortune and love befriend the bold.

Alsop Joseph


"I only touch base with reality on an as-needed basis!"

Altgeld John


The only certainty is that nothing is certain.

Altman Robert


I value kindness to human beings first of all, and kindness to animals. I don't respect the law; I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger, the food cheaper, and old men

Ambrose St.


I know on which side my bread is buttered.

Ambrose Bierce


To generalize is to be an idiot.

Ambrose Bierce


An investment in knowledge always pays the best interest.

Ambrose Bierce


A dream will always triumph over reality, once it is given the chance.

Ambrose Bierce


If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

Ambrose Bierce


Circumstances rule men; men do not rule circumstances.

Ambrose Bierce


The primary cause of failure in electrical appliances is an expired warranty. Often, you can get an appliance running again simply by changing the warranty expiration date with a 15/64-inch felt-tipped marker.

Anacreon


He who writes with no misspelled words has prevented a first suspicion on the limits of his scholarship or, in the social world, of his general education and culture.

Anastasia Albert


Nothing is more admirable than the fortitude with which millionaires tolerate the disadvantages of their wealth.

Anderson Laurie


Before you ask more questions, think about whether you really want to know the answers.

Anderson Laurie


Marijuana will be legal some day, because the many law students who now smoke pot will someday become congressmen and legalize it in order to protect themselves.

Anderson Laurie


A definition of teaching: casting fake pearls before real swine.

Andre Maurois


If you live long enough, you'll see that every victory turns into a defeat.

Anne Frank


[He] took me into his library and showed me his books, of which he had a complete set.

Anouilh Jean


Out of sight is out of mind.

Anouilh Jean


There must be more to life than having everything.

Anthony Piers


"You boys lookin' for trouble?" "Sure. Whaddya got?"

Anthony Susan B.


Well begun is half done.

Antoinette Marie


One picture is worth more than ten thousand words.

Appleby Sir Humphrey


A fake fortuneteller can be tolerated. But an authentic soothsayer should be shot on sight. Cassandra did not get half the kicking around she deserved.

Arendt Hannah


[District Attorneys] learn in District Attorney School that there are two sure-fire ways to get a lot of favorable publicity: (1) Go down and raid all the lockers in the local high school and confiscate 53 marijuana cigarettes and put them in a

Aristophanes


The only really good place to buy lumber is at a store where the lumber has already been cut and attached together in the form of furniture, finished, and put inside boxes.

Aristophanes


Why does a hearse horse snicker, hauling a lawyer away?

Aristophanes


Good salesmen and good repairmen will never go hungry.

Aristotle


There's no justice in this world.

Aristotle


Arrakis teaches the attitude of the knife - chopping off what's incomplete and saying: "Now it's complete because it's ended here."

Aristotle


Time is but the stream I go a-fishing in.

Aristotle


Yesterday I was a dog. Today I'm a dog. Tomorrow I'll probably still be a dog. Sigh! There's so little hope for advancement.

Aristotle


No bird soars too high if he soars with his own wings.

Aristotle


One good turn asketh another.

Aristotle


Whom the mad would destroy, first they make Gods.

Aristotle


Save a little money each month and at the end of the year you'll be surprised at how little you have.

Arlen Michael


Treat your friend as if he might become an enemy.

Armour Richard


A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.

Armstrong Louis


There has been a little distress selling on the stock exchange.

Arthur Naiman


Honesty pays, but it doesn't seem to pay enough to suit some people.

Arthur Naiman


Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing at the moment.

Arthur Naiman


The only alliance I would make with the Women's Liberation Movement is in bed.

Arthur Sullivan


God instructs the heart, not by ideas, but by pains and contradictions.

Ashley-Pitt Alan


The future not being born, my friend, we will abstain from baptizing it.

Ashley-Pitt Alan


Once the toothpaste is out of the tube, it's hard to get it back in.

Asimov Isaac


I was part of that strange race of people aptly described as spending their lives doing things they detest to make money they don't want to buy things they don't need to impress people they dislike.

Asimov Isaac


Business will be either better or worse.

Aspin Les D.


The only problem with seeing too much is that it makes you insane.

Asterix Adventures of


Nice guys finish last.

Attorney General William


A good question is never answered. It is not a bolt to be tightened into place but a seed to be planted and to bear more seed toward the hope of greening the landscape of idea.

Atwood Margaret


Happiness isn't something you experience; it's something you remember.

Auden W.H.


We have nowhere else to go... this is all we have.

Augustine


A woman takes off her claim to respect along with her garments.

Augustine Norman


Wishing without work is like fishing without bait.

Augustine Norman


Generally speaking, the Way of the warrior is resolute acceptance of death.

Augustine Norman


Diary of a Young Girl LITE(tm)

Augustine Norman


Let others praise ancient times; I am glad I was born in these.

Augustine Norman


If a thing's worth doing, it is worth doing badly.

Augustine Norman


The ideal voice for radio may be defined as showing no substance, no sex, no owner, and a message of importance for every housewife.

Augustine Norman


A woman's a woman until the day she dies, but a man's only a man as long as he can.

Augustine Saint


I'd be a poorer man if I'd never seen an eagle fly.

Augustine St.


The road to ruin is always in good repair, and the travellers pay the expense of it.

Augustine St.


Where it is a duty to worship the sun it is pretty sure to be a crime to examine the laws of heat.

Augustine St.


He who knows that enough is enough will always have enough.

Augustine St.


'Naomi, sex at noon taxes.' I moan. Never odd or even. A man, a plan, a canal, Panama. Madam, I'm Adam. Sit on a potato pan, Otis. Sit on Otis.

Aurelius Marcus


No evil can happen to a good man.

Aurelius Sextus


Let's say your wedding ring falls into your toaster, and when you stick your hand in to retrieve it, you suffer Pain and Suffering as well as Mental Anguish. You would sue: * The toaster manufacturer, for failure to include, in the instructions

Aurobindo Sri


If the colleges were better, if they really had it, you would need to get the police at the gates to keep order in the inrushing multitude. See in college how we thwart the natural love of learning by leaving the natural method of teaching what each

Aurobindo Sri


Before he became a hermit, Zarathud was a young Priest, and took great delight in making fools of his opponents in front of his followers. One day Zarathud took his students to a pleasant pasture and there he confronted The Sacred Chao while She

Austen J.


I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.

Avery


Look, we trade every day out there with hustlers, deal-makers, shysters, con-men. That's the way businesses get started. That's the way this country was built.

Ayres C.E.





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Forgive him, for he believes that the customs of his tribe are the laws of nature!
Shaw G.B.

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