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I have seen the future and it is just like the present, only longer.

Abigail Van Buren


It's not enough to be Hungarian; you must have talent too.

About Edmond


All men know the utility of useful things; but they do not know the utility of futility.

About Edmond


When one burns one's bridges, what a very nice fire it makes.

About Edmond


Mirrors should reflect a little before throwing back images.

Abrams Gen. C.


To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.

Acheson Dean


English literature's performing flea.

Acton Lord


There are people who find it odd to eat four or five Chinese meals in a row; in China, I often remind them, there are a billion or so people who find nothing odd about it.

Acton Lord


The greatest griefs are those we cause ourselves.

Adams D.


[Americans] are a race of convicts and ought to be thankful for anything we allow them short of hanging.

Adams Franklin


Unprovided with original learning, unformed in the habits of thinking, unskilled in the arts of composition, I resolved to write a book.

Adams Franklin


The trouble with opportunity is that it always comes disguised as hard work.

Adams Franklin


The true way goes over a rope which is not stretched at any great height but just above the ground. It seems more designed to make people stumble than to be walked upon.

Adams Henry


I recognize terror as the finest emotion and so I will try to terrorize the reader. But if I find that I cannot terrify, I will try to horrify, and if I find that I cannot horrify, I'll go for the gross-out.

Adams Henry Brook


After his Ignoble Disgrace, Satan was being expelled from Heaven. As he passed through the Gates, he paused a moment in thought, and turned to God and said, "A new creature called Man, I hear, is soon to be created." "This is true," He replied.

Adams John


The whole earth is in jail and we're plotting this incredible jailbreak.

Adams John Quincy


Let's say your wedding ring falls into your toaster, and when you stick your hand in to retrieve it, you suffer Pain and Suffering as well as Mental Anguish. You would sue: * The toaster manufacturer, for failure to include, in the instructions

Adams Samuel


Beggars should be no choosers.

Adams Douglas


Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it.

AdamsHenry


The Least Successful Equal Pay Advertisement In 1976 the European Economic Community pointed out to the Irish Government that it had not yet implemented the agreed sex equality legislation. The Dublin Government immediately advertised for an equal

Ade George


Mate, this parrot wouldn't VOOM if you put four million volts through it!

Adenauer Dr. Konrad


It is wise to keep in mind that neither success nor failure is ever final.

Adenauer Konrad


Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.

Adler Alfred


If I had done everything I'm credited with, I'd be speaking to you from a laboratory jar at Harvard.

Adler Alfred


A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds.

Adler Renata


The only certainty is that nothing is certain.

Adler Bill


If the English language made any sense, lackadaisical would have something to do with a shortage of flowers.

Adler Bill


University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.

Adler Bill


IV. The time required for an object to fall twenty stories is greater than or equal to the time it takes for whoever knocked it off the ledge to spiral down twenty flights to attempt to capture it unbroken. Such an object is inevitably price

Adler Bill


Those who educate children well are more to be honored than parents, for these only gave life, those the art of living well.

Adolf Hitler


Certainly the game is rigged. Don't let that stop you; if you don't bet, you can't win.

Adolph Hitler


The meek shall inherit the earth, but *not* its mineral rights.

Adolph Hitler


Its name is Public Opinion. It is held in reverence. It settles everything. Some think it is the voice of God.

Advanced R. Bach


Living in New York City gives people real incentives to want things that nobody else wants.

Adventurer The


Drop the vase and it will become a Ming of the past.

Aeschylus


We can embody the truth, but we cannot know it.

Aeschylus


Hell is empty and all the devils are here.

Aeschylus


Your manuscript is both good and original, but the part that is good is not original and the part that is original is not good.

Aesop


If you are shooting under 80 you are neglecting your business; over 80 you are neglecting your golf.

Afer Terentius


Like, if I'm not for me, then fer shure, like who will be? And if, y'know, if I'm not like fer anyone else, then hey, I mean, what am I? And if not now, like I dunno, maybe like when? And if not Who, then I dunno, maybe like the Rolling Stones?

Agnew Spiro


He draweth out the thread of his verbosity finer than the staple of his argument.

Agnew Spiro


If a jury in a criminal trial stays out for more than twenty-four hours, it is certain to vote acquittal, save in those instances where it votes guilty.

Aiken Howard


There are two ways of disliking art. One is to dislike it. The other is to like it rationally.

Ajaye Franklyn


There's nothing remarkable about it. All one has to do is hit the right keys at the right time and the instrument plays itself.

Ajaye Franklyn


Sho' they got to have it against the law. Shoot, ever'body git high, they wouldn't be nobody git up and feed the chickens. Hee-hee.

Ajaye Franklyn


From a certain point onward there is no longer any turning back. That is the point that must be reached.

Al Capone


Odets, where is thy sting?

Al Capone


Work Hard. Rock Hard. Eat Hard. Sleep Hard. Grow Big. Wear Glasses If You Need 'Em.

Aldo Leopold


No excellent soul is exempt from a mixture of madness.

Alexand


If the path be beautiful, let us not ask where it leads.

Alexand


I do desire we may be better strangers.

Alexander Thea


Another day, another dollar.

Alexander. N.


Sometimes I wonder if I'm in my right mind. Then it passes off and I'm as intelligent as ever.

Alexandre Arnoux


The optimist thinks that this is the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist knows it.

Alfieri


Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.

Ali Muhammad


Well, he thought, since neither Aristotelian Logic nor the disciplines of Science seemed to offer much hope, it's time to go beyond them... Drawing a few deep even breaths, he entered a mental state practiced only by Masters of the Universal Way of

Alice Walker


Grig (the navigator): ... so you see, it's just the two of us against the entire space armada. Alex (the gunner): What?!? Grig: I've always wanted to fight a desperate battle against overwhelming odds. Alex: It'll be a slaughter! Grig: That'

Alighieri Dante


A dream will always triumph over reality, once it is given the chance.

Alinsky Saul


Among all savage beasts, none is found so harmful as woman.

Alinsky Saul


If a shameless woman expects to be defiled and then dies of her fierce love because you do not consent, will chastity also be homicide?

Alinsky Saul


I have ways of making money that you know nothing of.

Alito Noelie


If while you are in school, there is a shortage of qualified personnel in a particular field, then by the time you graduate with the necessary qualifications, that field's employment market is glutted.

Allan Virginia


Not to laugh, not to lament, not to curse, but to understand.

Allen Fred


The great question that has never been answered and which I have not yet been able to answer despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul is: WHAT DOES A WOMAN WANT?

Allen Fred


Ed Sullivan will be around as long as someone else has talent.

Allen Fred


Imitation is the sincerest form of television.

Allen Fred


Practical people would be more practical if they would take a little more time for dreaming.

Allen Fred


Our policy is, when in doubt, do the right thing.

Allen Henry


We are governed not by armies and police but by ideas.

Allen Hubert


People in general do not willingly read if they have anything else to amuse them.

Allen Woody


A hundred years from now it is very likely that [of Twain's works] "The Jumping Frog" alone will be remembered.

Allen Woody


I just need enough to tide me over until I need more.

Allen Woody


I often quote myself; it adds spice to my conversation.

Allen Woody


A woman employs sincerity only when every other form of deception has failed.

Allen Woody


We're constantly being bombarded by insulting and humiliating music, which people are making for you the way they make those Wonder Bread products. Just as food can be bad for your system, music can be bad for your spirtual and emotional feelings. I

Allen Woody


Take your work seriously but never take yourself seriously; and do not take what happens either to yourself or your work seriously.

Allen Woody


"I gained nothing at all from Supreme Enlightenment, and for that very reason it is called Supreme Enlightenment."

Allen Woody


It is only by risking our persons from one hour to another that we live at all. And often enough our faith beforehand in an uncertified result is the only thing that makes the result come true.

Allen Woody


Generally speaking, the Way of the warrior is resolute acceptance of death.

Allen Woody


It is annoying to be honest to no purpose.

Allen Woody


She cried, and the judge wiped her tears with my checkbook.

Allen Woody


It is imperative when flying coach that you restrain any tendency toward the vividly imaginative. For although it may momentarily appear to be the case, it is not at all likely that the cabin is entirely inhabited by crying babies smoking inexpensiv

Allen Woody


If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library?

Allen Woody


... "fire" does not matter, "earth" and "air" and "water" do not matter. "I" do not matter. No word matters. But man forgets reality and remembers words. The more words he remembers, the cleverer do his fellows esteem him. He looks upon the great

Allen Smith


Remark of Dr. Baldwin's concerning upstarts: We don't care to eat toadstools that think they are truffles.

Allen Woody


We are what we pretend to be.

Allen Woody


A likely impossibility is always preferable to an unconvincing possibility.

Allen Woody


A little bit of rape is good for a man's soul.

Alo Vincent


The fact that it works is immaterial.

Alphonse Karr


With Congress, every time they make a joke it's a law; and every time they make a law it's a joke.

Alsop Joseph


All is well that ends well.

Altgeld John


Age before beauty; and pearls before swine.

Altman Robert


A committee is a group that keeps the minutes and loses hours.

Ambrose St.


The executioner is, I hear, very expert, and my neck is very slender.

Ambrose Bierce


If a thing's worth having, it's worth cheating for.

Ambrose Bierce


A lot of people I know believe in positive thinking, and so do I. I believe everything positively stinks.

Ambrose Bierce


God was satisfied with his own work, and that is fatal.

Ambrose Bierce


The first Rotarian was the first man to call John the Baptist "Jack."

Ambrose Bierce


If a man stay away from his wife for seven years, the law presumes the separation to have killed him; yet according to our daily experience, it might well prolong his life.

Ambrose Bierce


Gratitude and treachery are merely the two extremities of the same procession. You have seen all of it that is worth staying for when the band and the gaudy officials have gone by.

Anacreon


Money can't buy happiness, but it can make you awfully comfortable while you're being miserable.

Anastasia Albert


Never take a resume seriously. Resumes only make money for the people who write the resumes. No resume ever tells an employer how many times a job applicant has had the clap. Why, indeed, would anyone hire a person based on a resume written by a

Anderson Laurie


The road to Hades is easy to travel.

Anderson Laurie


Anything that is worth doing has been done frequently. Things hitherto undone should be given, I suspect, a wide berth.

Anderson Laurie


Remembering is for those who have forgotten.

Andre Maurois


In my end is my beginning.

Anne Frank


The sky is blue so we know where to stop mowing.

Anouilh Jean


For a light heart lives long.

Anouilh Jean


No one born with a mouth and a need is "innocent".

Anthony Piers


Go ahead... make my day.

Anthony Susan B.


We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it - and stay there, lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove-lid. She will never sit down on a hot stove-lid again - and that is well; but also she will never

Antoinette Marie


Practice is the best of all instructors.

Appleby Sir Humphrey


Work is the crab grass in the lawn of life.

Arendt Hannah


Educational television should be absolutely forbidden. It can only lead to unreasonable disappointment when your child discovers that the letters of the alphabet do not leap up out of books and dance around with royal-blue chickens.

Aristophanes


"You have been in Afghanistan, I perceive."

Aristophanes


Wisdom is knowing what to do with what you know.

Aristophanes


Mind! I don't mean to say that I know, of my own knowledge, what there is particularly dead about a door-nail. I might have been inclined, myself, to regard a coffin-nail as the deadest piece of ironmongery in the trade. But the wisdom of our ances

Aristotle


A light wife doth make a heavy husband.

Aristotle


Be careful of reading health books, you might die of a misprint.

Aristotle


Any two philosophers can tell each other all they know in two hours.

Aristotle


My father, a good man, told me, "Never lose your ignorance; you cannot replace it."

Aristotle


You are never given a wish without also being given the power to make it true. You may have to work for it, however.

Aristotle


If happiness is in your destiny, you need not be in a hurry.

Aristotle


Kindness is the beginning of cruelty.

Aristotle


All generalizations are false, including this one.

Arlen Michael


'Naomi, sex at noon taxes.' I moan. Never odd or even. A man, a plan, a canal, Panama. Madam, I'm Adam. Sit on a potato pan, Otis. Sit on Otis.

Armour Richard


No live organism can continue for long to exist sanely under conditions of absolute reality; even larks and katydids are supposed, by some, to dream. Hill House, not sane, stood by itself against its hills, holding darkness within; it had stood so fo

Armstrong Louis


If two people love each other, there can be no happy end to it.

Arthur Naiman


Life is one long struggle in the dark.

Arthur Naiman


There are two ways of disliking poetry; one way is to dislike it, the other is to read Pope.

Arthur Naiman


Save a little money each month and at the end of the year you'll be surprised at how little you have.

Arthur Sullivan


Treat your friend as if he might become an enemy.

Ashley-Pitt Alan


The mind is its own place, and in itself Can make a Heav'n of Hell, a Hell of Heav'n.

Ashley-Pitt Alan


You have all eternity to be cautious in when you're dead.

Asimov Isaac


Of all possible committee reactions to any given agenda item, the reaction that will occur is the one which will liberate the greatest amount of hot air.

Asimov Isaac


Skill without imagination is craftsmanship and gives us many useful objects such as wickerwork picnic baskets. Imagination without skill gives us modern art.

Aspin Les D.


Trust in Allah, but tie your camel.

Asterix Adventures of


The farther you go, the less you know.

Attorney General William


Zounds! I was never so bethumped with words since I first called my brother's father dad.

Atwood Margaret


Who does not trust enough will not be trusted.

Auden W.H.


Yes, I've now got this nice little apartment in New York, one of those L-shaped ones. Unfortunately, it's a lower case l.

Augustine


Ben, why didn't you tell me?

Augustine Norman


Hollywood is where if you don't have happiness you send out for it.

Augustine Norman


If I could reach, I'd never leave the house.

Augustine Norman


The mosquito is the state bird of New Jersey.

Augustine Norman


It is often the case that the man who can't tell a lie thinks he is the best judge of one.

Augustine Norman


The road to ruin is always in good repair, and the travellers pay the expense of it.

Augustine Norman


Fame lost its appeal for me when I went into a public restroom and an autograph seeker handed me a pen and paper under the stall door.

Augustine Norman


It is right that he too should have his little chronicle, his memories, his reason, and be able to recognize the good in the bad, the bad in the worst, and so grow gently old all down the unchanging days and die one day like any other day, only short

Augustine Saint


"MOKE DAT YIGARETTE"

Augustine St.


He that teaches himself has a fool for a master.

Augustine St.


The whole world is a scab. The point is to pick it constructively.

Augustine St.


Out of sight is out of mind.

Augustine St.


The time spent on any item of the agenda [of a finance committee] will be in inverse proportion to the sum involved.

Aurelius Marcus


If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world.

Aurelius Sextus


To accuse others for one's own misfortunes is a sign of want of education. To accuse oneself shows that one's education has begun. To accuse neither oneself nor others shows that one's education is complete.

Aurobindo Sri


He who knows that enough is enough will always have enough.

Aurobindo Sri


A woman occasionally is quite a serviceable substitute for masturbation. It takes an abundance of imagination, to be sure.

Austen J.


Several years ago, some smart businessmen had an idea: Why not build a big store where a do-it-yourselfer could get everything he needed at reasonable prices? Then they decided, nah, the hell with that, let's build a home center. And before long ho

Avery


There are three rules for writing a novel. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are.

Ayres C.E.





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Only kings, presidents, editors, and people with tapeworms have the right to use the editorial "we".
Twain Mark

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