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The Army has carried the American ... ideal to its logical conclusion. Not only do they prohibit discrimination on the grounds of race, creed and color, but also on ability.

Abigail Van Buren

I know not how I came into this, shall I call it a dying life or a living death?

About Edmond

VII. Certain bodies can pass through solid walls painted to resemble tunnel entrances; others cannot. This trompe l'oeil inconsistency has baffled generations, but at least it is known that whoever paints an entrance on a wall's surface to

About Edmond

Convention is the ruler of all.

About Edmond

Good-bye. I am leaving because I am bored.

Abrams Gen. C.

Many receive advice, few profit by it.

Acheson Dean

Of all possible committee reactions to any given agenda item, the reaction that will occur is the one which will liberate the greatest amount of hot air.

Acton Lord

The best case: Get salary from America, build a house in England, live with a Japanese wife, and eat Chinese food. Pretty good case: Get salary from England, build a house in America, live with a Chinese wife, and eat Japanese food. The wo

Acton Lord

There's nothing worse for your business than extra Santa Clauses smoking in the men's room.

Adams D.

Your chances of getting hit by lightning go up if you stand under a tree, shake your fist at the sky, and say, "Storms suck!"

Adams Franklin

Divorce is a game played by lawyers.

Adams Franklin

Visits always give pleasure: if not on arrival, then on the departure.

Adams Franklin

Hope is a waking dream.

Adams Henry

Plus ,ca change, plus c'est la m^eme chose. [The more things change, the more they remain the same.]

Adams Henry Brook

We tried to close Ohio's borders and ran into a Constitutional problem. There's a provision in the Constitution that says you can't close your borders to interstate commerce, and garbage is a form of interstate commerce.

Adams John

It is not enough that I should succeed. Others must fail.

Adams John Quincy

I will make you shorter by the head.

Adams Samuel

God help those who do not help themselves.

Adams Douglas

Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you.


There are two kinds of pedestrians... the quick and the dead.

Ade George

He who knows, does not speak. He who speaks, does not know.

Adenauer Dr. Konrad

Authors (and perhaps columnists) eventually rise to the top of whatever depths they were once able to plumb.

Adenauer Konrad

The control of the production of wealth is the control of human life itself.

Adler Alfred

Democracy is the recurrent suspicion that more than half of the people are right more than half of the time.

Adler Alfred

A statesman is a politician who's been dead 10 or 15 years.

Adler Renata

Diplomacy is to do and say, the nastiest thing in the nicest way.

Adler Bill

Doctors and lawyers must go to school for years and years, often with little sleep and with great sacrifice to their first wives.

Adler Bill

Imitation is the sincerest form of television.

Adler Bill

All men know the utility of useful things; but they do not know the utility of futility.

Adler Bill

I often quote myself; it adds spice to my conversation.

Adolf Hitler

God is really only another artist. He invented the giraffe, the elephant and the cat. He has no real style, He just goes on trying other things.

Adolph Hitler

I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America and to the republic for which it stands, one nation, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.

Adolph Hitler

What we wish, that we readily believe.

Advanced R. Bach

Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names the streets after them.

Adventurer The

Dishonor will not trouble me, once I am dead.


Campus sidewalks never exist as the straightest line between two points.


Bingo, gas station, hamburger with a side order of airplane noise, and you'll be Gary, Indiana.


Our swords shall play the orators for us.


I am America's child, a spastic slogging on demented limbs drooling I'll trade my PhD for a telephone voice.

Afer Terentius

Most people have a furious itch to talk about themselves and are restrained only by the disinclination of others to listen. Reserve is an artificial quality that is developed in most of us as the result of innumerable rebuffs.

Agnew Spiro

Once the toothpaste is out of the tube, it's hard to get it back in.

Agnew Spiro

Let sleeping dogs lie.

Aiken Howard

Nice guys finish last.

Ajaye Franklyn

"... an experienced, industrious, ambitious, and often quite often picturesque liar."

Ajaye Franklyn

A diplomat is a person who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

Ajaye Franklyn

It's the opinion of some that crops could be grown on the moon. Which raises the fear that it may not be long before we're paying somebody not to.

Al Capone

When neither their poverty nor their honor is touched, the majority of men live content.

Al Capone

The greatest dangers to liberty lurk in insidious encroachment by men of zeal, well-meaning but without understanding.

Aldo Leopold

A Tale of Two Cities LITE(tm)


... a thing called Ethics, whose nature was confusing but if you had it you were a High-Class Realtor and if you hadn't you were a shyster, a piker and a fly-by-night. These virtues awakened Confidence and enabled you to handle Bigger Propositions.


Under a government which imprisons any unjustly, the true place for a just man is also a prison.

Alexander Thea

Three minutes' thought would suffice to find this out; but thought is irksome and three minutes is a long time.

Alexander. N.

He is a man capable of turning any colour into grey.

Alexandre Arnoux

Too often I find that the volume of paper expands to fill the available briefcases.


NAPOLEON: What shall we do with this soldier, Giuseppe? Everything he says is wrong. GIUSEPPE: Make him a general, Excellency, and then everything he says will be right.

Ali Muhammad

Politics is not the art of the possible. It consists in choosing between the disastrous and the unpalatable.

Alice Walker

A witty saying proves nothing.

Alighieri Dante

The ripest fruit falls first.

Alinsky Saul

This is the first age that's paid much attention to the future, which is a little ironic since we may not have one.

Alinsky Saul

Youth is a disease from which we all recover.

Alinsky Saul

There appears to be irrefutable evidence that the mere fact of overcrowding induces violence.

Alito Noelie

Most Texans think Hanukkah is some sort of duck call.

Allan Virginia

Let's say your wedding ring falls into your toaster, and when you stick your hand in to retrieve it, you suffer Pain and Suffering as well as Mental Anguish. You would sue: * The toaster manufacturer, for failure to include, in the instructions

Allen Fred

Well, here it is, 1983, so it won't be long before you start reading a lot of boring stories about people like Vance Hartke. Hartke is a governor or mayor or something from one of the flatter states, and the reason you'll be reading about him is tha

Allen Fred

The optimist thinks that this is the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist knows it.

Allen Fred

Knowledge is power.

Allen Fred

"I am not sure what this is, but an `F' would only dignify it."

Allen Fred

Gaiety is the most outstanding feature of the Soviet Union.

Allen Henry

Every young man should have a hobby: learning how to handle money is the best one.

Allen Hubert

America has been discovered before, but it has always been hushed up.

Allen Woody

There is nothing wrong with Southern California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn't cure.

Allen Woody

Roumanian-Yiddish cooking has killed more Jews than Hitler.

Allen Woody

Nothing shortens a journey so pleasantly as an account of misfortunes at which the hearer is permitted to laugh.

Allen Woody

Never invest your money in anything that eats or needs repainting.

Allen Woody

He thinks the Gettysburg Address is where Lincoln lived.

Allen Woody

He liked fishing a little too much, and he believed that work was something a man did when he had to. He had always been able to get along well enough without it, especially for the last couple of years.

Allen Woody

The more I see of men the more I admire dogs.

Allen Woody

Largest Number of Driving Test Failures By April 1970 Mrs. Miriam Hargrave had failed her test thirty-nine times. In the eight preceding years she had received two hundred and twelve driving lessons at a cost of L300. She set the new record while

Allen Woody

Let me assure you that to us here at First National, you're not just a number. Youre two numbers, a dash, three more numbers, another dash and another number.

Allen Woody

A is for Apple.

Allen Woody

You are absolute plate-glass. I see to the very back of your mind.

Allen Woody

Seeing that death, a necessary end, Will come when it will come.

Allen Woody

Power corrupts. Absolute power is kind of neat.

Allen Woody

For certain people, after fifty, litigation takes the place of sex.

Allen Smith

Sweet April showers do spring May flowers.

Allen Woody

American business long ago gave up on demanding that prospective employees be honest and hardworking. It has even stopped hoping for employees who are educated enough that they can tell the difference between the men's room and the women's room with

Allen Woody

Politics, as a practice, whatever its professions, has always been the systematic organisation of hatreds.

Allen Woody

Man is the measure of all things.

Alo Vincent

Ask not what's inside your head, but what your head's inside of.

Alphonse Karr

Another day, another dollar.

Alsop Joseph

Success is the sole earthly judge of right and wrong.

Altgeld John

You never gain something but that you lose something.

Altman Robert

When I saw a sign on the freeway that said, "Los Angeles 445 miles," I said to myself, "I've got to get out of this lane."

Ambrose St.

We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it - and stay there, lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove-lid. She will never sit down on a hot stove-lid again - and that is well; but also she will never

Ambrose Bierce

The only two things that motivate me and that matter to me are revenge and guilt.

Ambrose Bierce

You may have heard that a dean is to faculty as a hydrant is to a dog.

Ambrose Bierce

Exceptions prove the rule, and wreck the budget.

Ambrose Bierce

Be not anxious about what you have, but about what you are.

Ambrose Bierce

The error of youth is to believe that intelligence is a substitute for experience, while the error of age is to believe experience is a substitute for intelligence.

Ambrose Bierce

You can't run away forever, But there's nothing wrong with getting a good head start.


It is the wisdom of crocodiles, that shed tears when they would devour.

Anastasia Albert

Another such victory over the Romans, and we are undone.

Anderson Laurie

The United States is like the guy at the party who gives cocaine to everybody and still nobody likes him.

Anderson Laurie

"A Mormon is a man that has the bad taste and the religion to do what a good many other people are restrained from doing by conscientious scruples and the police."

Anderson Laurie

Art is Nature speeded up and God slowed down.

Andre Maurois

Blessed is he who has reached the point of no return and knows it, for he shall enjoy living.

Anne Frank

If Presidents don't do it to their wives, they do it to the country.

Anouilh Jean

Carol's head ached as she trailed behind the unsmiling Calibrees along the block of booths. She chirruped at Kennicott, "Let's be wild! Let's ride on the merry-go-round and grab a gold ring!" Kennicott considered it, and mumbled to Calibree, "Thin

Anouilh Jean

My mind can never know my body, although it has become quite friendly with my legs.

Anthony Piers

Anything that is worth doing has been done frequently. Things hitherto undone should be given, I suspect, a wide berth.

Anthony Susan B.

Indeed, the first noble truth of Buddhism, usually translated as `all life is suffering,' is more accurately rendered `life is filled with a sense of pervasive unsatisfactoriness.'

Antoinette Marie

"Yes, that was Richard Nixon. He used to be President. When he left the White House, the Secret Service would count the silverware."

Appleby Sir Humphrey

Pauca sed matura. [Few but excellent.]

Arendt Hannah

The fact that it works is immaterial.


Those who do things in a noble spirit of self-sacrifice are to be avoided at all costs.


Mr. Salter's side of the conversation was limited to expressions of assent. When Lord Copper was right he said "Definitely, Lord Copper"; when he was wrong, "Up to a point." "Let me see, what's the name of the place I mean? Capital of Japan? Yokoh


It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether II win or lose.


I am a friend of the working man, and I would rather be his friend than be one.


There is no distinctly native American criminal class except Congress.


Unprovided with original learning, unformed in the habits of thinking, unskilled in the arts of composition, I resolved to write a book.


Perfection is reached, not when there is no longer anything to add, but when there is no longer anything to take away.


No problem is so formidable that you can't just walk away from it.


Theology is an attempt to explain a subject by men who do not understand it. The intent is not to tell the truth but to satisfy the questioner.


I do not know myself and God forbid that I should.


Certainly the game is rigged. Don't let that stop you; if you don't bet, you can't win.

Arlen Michael

Set the cart before the horse.

Armour Richard

Talkers are no good doers.

Armstrong Louis

Liberty is always dangerous, but it is the safest thing we have.

Arthur Naiman

Historians have now definitely established that Juan Cabrillo, discoverer of California, was not looking for Kansas, thus setting a precedent that continues to this day.

Arthur Naiman

We are all so much together and yet we are all dying of loneliness.

Arthur Naiman

Several years ago, some smart businessmen had an idea: Why not build a big store where a do-it-yourselfer could get everything he needed at reasonable prices? Then they decided, nah, the hell with that, let's build a home center. And before long ho

Arthur Sullivan

The whole world is a scab. The point is to pick it constructively.

Ashley-Pitt Alan

My religion consists of a humble admiration of the illimitable superior spirit who reveals himself in the slight details we are able to perceive with our frail and feeble mind.

Ashley-Pitt Alan

If you wants to get elected president, you'se got to think up some memoraboble homily so's school kids can be pestered into memorizin' it, even if they don't know what it means.

Asimov Isaac

I shot an arrow in to the air, and it stuck.

Asimov Isaac

A little bit of rape is good for a man's soul.

Aspin Les D.

University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.

Asterix Adventures of

What I tell you three times is true.

Attorney General William

Pereant, inquit, qui ante nos nostra dixerunt. [Confound those who have said our remarks before us.] or [May they perish who have expressed our bright ideas before us.]

Atwood Margaret

To use violence is to already be defeated.

Auden W.H.

Be valiant, but not too venturous. Let thy attire be comely, but not costly.


When I reflect upon the number of disagreeable people who I know who have gone to a better world, I am moved to lead a different life.

Augustine Norman

Armenians and Azerbaijanis in Stepanakert, capital of the Nagorno-Karabakh autonomous region, rioted over much needed spelling reform in the Soviet Union.

Augustine Norman

When democracy granted democratic methods to us in times of opposition, this was bound to happen in a democratic system. However, we National Socialists never asserted that we represented a democratic point of view, but we have declared openly that

Augustine Norman

Whatever occurs from love is always beyond good and evil.

Augustine Norman

Men's skin is different from women's skin. It is usually bigger, and it has more snakes tattooed on it. Also, if you examine a woman's skin very closely, inch by inch, starting at her shapely ankles, then gently tracing the slender curve of her cal

Augustine Norman

Intellect annuls Fate. So far as a man thinks, he is free.

Augustine Norman

The only thing to do with good advice is pass it on. It is never any use to oneself.

Augustine Norman

My own life has been spent chronicling the rise and fall of human systems, and I am convinced that we are terribly vulnerable. ... We should be reluctant to turn back upon the frontier of this epoch. Space is indifferent to what we do; it has no fe

Augustine Saint

Art is a lie which makes us realize the truth.

Augustine St.

If all the world's a stage, I want to operate the trap door.

Augustine St.

If we spoke a different language, we would perceive a somewhat different world.

Augustine St.

I treasure this strange combination found in very few persons: a fierce desire for life as well as a lucid perception of the ultimate futility of the quest.

Augustine St.

Habit is habit, and not to be flung out of the window by any man, but coaxed down-stairs a step at a time.

Aurelius Marcus

Example is not the main thing in influencing others. It is the only thing.

Aurelius Sextus

The knowledge that makes us cherish innocence makes innocence unattainable.

Aurobindo Sri

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.

Aurobindo Sri

There never was a good war or a bad peace.

Austen J.

Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want, and deserve to get it good and hard.


You will remember, Watson, how the dreadful business of the Abernetty family was first brought to my notice by the depth which the parsley had sunk into the butter upon a hot day.

Ayres C.E.

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Were there no women, men might live like gods.
Dekker Thomas

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