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The first duty of a revolutionary is to get away with it.

Abigail Van Buren

The way I understand it, the Russians are sort of a combination of evil and incompetence... sort of like the Post Office with tanks.

About Edmond

One man's brain plus one other will produce one half as many ideas as one man would have produced alone. These two plus two more will produce half again as many ideas. These four plus four more begin to represent a creative meeting, and the ratio c

About Edmond

Any president should have the right to shoot at least two people a year without explanation.

About Edmond

Hain't we got all the fools in town on our side? And hain't that a big enough majority in any town?

Abrams Gen. C.

My father, a good man, told me, "Never lose your ignorance; you cannot replace it."

Acheson Dean

The first rule of intelligent tinkering is to save all the parts.

Acton Lord

Feminists say 60 percent of the country's wealth is in the hands of women. They're letting men hold the other 40 percent because their handbags are full.

Acton Lord

Just close your eyes, tap your heels together three times, and think to yourself, `There's no place like home.'

Adams D.

I need another lawyer like I need another hole in my head.

Adams Franklin

You cannot see the wood for the trees.

Adams Franklin

Several years ago, some smart businessmen had an idea: Why not build a big store where a do-it-yourselfer could get everything he needed at reasonable prices? Then they decided, nah, the hell with that, let's build a home center. And before long ho

Adams Franklin

I must have a prodigious quantity of mind; it takes me as much as a week sometimes to make it up.

Adams Henry

There are three rules for writing a novel. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are.

Adams Henry Brook

Rome was not built in one day.

Adams John

If Beethoven's Seventh Symphony is not by some means abridged, it will soon fall into disuse.

Adams John Quincy

It is not doing the thing we like to do, but liking the thing we have to do, that makes life blessed.

Adams Samuel

The only reward of virtue is virtue.

Adams Douglas

Goals... Plans... they're fantasies, they're part of a dream world...


Darth Vader! Only you would be so bold!

Ade George

Every man who has reached even his intellectual teens begins to suspect that life is no farce; that it is not genteel comedy even; that it flowers and fructifies on the contrary out of the profoundest tragic depths of the essential death in which its

Adenauer Dr. Konrad

Never tell people how to do things. Tell them WHAT to do and they will surprise you with their ingenuity.

Adenauer Konrad

When you have an efficient government, you have a dictatorship.

Adler Alfred

Mind! I don't mean to say that I know, of my own knowledge, what there is particularly dead about a door-nail. I might have been inclined, myself, to regard a coffin-nail as the deadest piece of ironmongery in the trade. But the wisdom of our ances

Adler Alfred

The reward of a thing well done is to have done it.

Adler Renata

Look before you leap.

Adler Bill

I'm glad I was not born before tea.

Adler Bill

Unprovided with original learning, unformed in the habits of thinking, unskilled in the arts of composition, I resolved to write a book.

Adler Bill

What you don't know won't help you much either.

Adler Bill

A committee takes root and grows, it flowers, wilts and dies, scattering the seed from which other committees will bloom.

Adolf Hitler

I go on working for the same reason a hen goes on laying eggs.

Adolph Hitler

Authors (and perhaps columnists) eventually rise to the top of whatever depths they were once able to plumb.

Adolph Hitler

I need another lawyer like I need another hole in my head.

Advanced R. Bach

"One Saturday afternoon, during the campaign to decide whether or not there should be a Coastal Commission, I took a helicopter ride from Los Angeles to San Diego. We passed several state beaches, some crowded and some virtually empty. They had the

Adventurer The

Home is where the hurt is.


It is only by risking our persons from one hour to another that we live at all. And often enough our faith beforehand in an uncertified result is the only thing that makes the result come true.


"Nuclear war would really set back cable."


Extreme fear can neither fight nor fly.


I belong to no organized party. I am a Democrat.

Afer Terentius

Well, the handwriting is on the floor.

Agnew Spiro

Well, here it is, 1983, so it won't be long before you start reading a lot of boring stories about people like Vance Hartke. Hartke is a governor or mayor or something from one of the flatter states, and the reason you'll be reading about him is tha

Agnew Spiro

No poet or novelist wishes he was the only one who ever lived, but most of them wish they were the only one alive, and quite a number fondly believe their wish has been granted.

Aiken Howard

San Francisco isn't what it used to be, and it never was.

Ajaye Franklyn

She ran the gamut of emotions from 'A' to 'B'.

Ajaye Franklyn

The problem that we thought was a problem was, indeed, a problem, but not the problem we thought was the problem.

Ajaye Franklyn

Crime does not pay ... as well as politics.

Al Capone

Everyone is in the best seat.

Al Capone

Liberty don't work as good in practice as it does in speeches.

Aldo Leopold

Government spending? I don't know what it's all about. I don't know any more about this thing than an economist does, and, God knows, he doesn't know much.


Being a miner, as soon as you're too old and tired and sick and stupid to do your job properly, you have to go, where the very opposite applies with the judges.


When we are planning for posterity, we ought to remember that virtue is not hereditary.

Alexander Thea

I acted to show my love for Jodie Foster.

Alexander. N.

I do not know whether I was then a man dreaming I was a butterfly, or whether I am now a butterfly dreaming I am a man.

Alexandre Arnoux

Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.


If little else, the brain is an educational toy.

Ali Muhammad

To jaw-jaw is better than to war-war.

Alice Walker

"Not Hercules could have knock'd out his brains, for he had none."

Alighieri Dante

I try to keep an open mind, but not so open that my brains fall out.

Alinsky Saul

You can tell the ideals of a nation by its advertisements.

Alinsky Saul

Long were the days of pain I have spent within its walls, and long were the nights of aloneness; and who can depart from his pain and his aloneness without regret?

Alinsky Saul

Hear me, my chiefs, I am tired; my heart is sick and sad. From where the sun now stands I Will Fight No More Forever.

Alito Noelie

In Hollywood, if you don't have happiness, you send out for it.

Allan Virginia

Pauca sed matura. [Few but excellent.]

Allen Fred

Nothing, nothing, nothing, no error, no crime is so absolutely repugnant to God as everything which is official; and why? because the official is so impersonal and therefore the deepest insult which can be offered to a personality.

Allen Fred

Briefly stated, the findings are that when presented with an array of data or a sequence of events in which they are instructed to discover an underlying order, subjects show strong tendencies to perceive order and causality in random arrays, to perc

Allen Fred

"What's this? Trix? Aunt! Trix? You? You're after the prize! What is it?" He picked up the box and studied the back. "A glow-in-the-dark squid! Have you got it out of there yet?" He tilted the box, angling the little colored balls of cereal

Allen Fred

There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?

Allen Fred

There never was a good war or a bad peace.

Allen Henry

One man's Mede is another man's Persian.

Allen Hubert

There is always something new out of Africa.

Allen Woody

A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on.

Allen Woody

If there were a school for, say, sheet metal workers, that after three years left its graduates as unprepared for their careers as does law school, it would be closed down in a minute, and no doubt by lawyers.

Allen Woody

... Let me tell you who the actual "front-runners" are. On one side, you have George Bush, who is currently going through a sort of fraternity hazing wherein he has to perform a series of humiliating stunts to win the approval of the Republican Righ

Allen Woody

Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines.

Allen Woody

Fanaticism consists of redoubling your effort when you have forgotten your aim.

Allen Woody

Go away, I'm all right.

Allen Woody

How do you explain school to a higher intelligence?

Allen Woody

"... all the modern inconveniences ..."

Allen Woody

After his Ignoble Disgrace, Satan was being expelled from Heaven. As he passed through the Gates, he paused a moment in thought, and turned to God and said, "A new creature called Man, I hear, is soon to be created." "This is true," He replied.

Allen Woody

It is Mr. Mellon's credo that $200,000,000 can do no wrong. Our offense consists in doubting it.

Allen Woody

A critic is a bundle of biases held loosely together by a sense of taste.

Allen Woody

We all declare for liberty, but in using the same word we do not all mean the same thing.

Allen Woody

I don't mind what Congress does, as long as they don't do it in the streets and frighten the horses.

Allen Woody

Going into politics is as fatal to a gentleman as going into a bordello is fatal to a virgin.

Allen Smith

If I made peace with Russia today, I'd only attack her again tomorrow. I just couldn't help myself.

Allen Woody

Christianity has not been tried and found wanting; it has been found difficult and not tried.

Allen Woody

In my end is my beginning.

Allen Woody

The greatest productive force is human selfishness.

Alo Vincent

I paid a visit to my local precinct in Greenwich Village and asked a sergeant to show me some rape statistics. He politely obliged. That month there had been thirty-five rape complaints, an advance of ten over the same month for the previous year.

Alphonse Karr

No evil can happen to a good man.

Alsop Joseph

Beware of all enterprises that require new clothes, and not rather a new wearer of clothes.

Altgeld John

Reality is nothing but a collective hunch.

Altman Robert

I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.

Ambrose St.

The Least Successful Equal Pay Advertisement In 1976 the European Economic Community pointed out to the Irish Government that it had not yet implemented the agreed sex equality legislation. The Dublin Government immediately advertised for an equal

Ambrose Bierce

Heaven and earth were created all together in the same instant, on October 23rd, 4004 B.C. at nine o'clock in the morning.

Ambrose Bierce

It is now 10 p.m. Do you know where Henry Kissinger is?

Ambrose Bierce

Please try to limit the amount of "this room doesn't have any bazingas" until you are told that those rooms are "punched out." Once punched out, we have a right to complain about atrocities, missing bazingas, and such.

Ambrose Bierce

If one inquires why the American tradition is so strong against any connection of State and Church, why it dreads even the rudiments of religious teaching in state-maintained schools, the immediate and superficial answer is not far to seek. ... The

Ambrose Bierce

She applies her lipstick in spite of its contents: "greasy rouge, containing crushed and dried insect corpses for coloring, beeswax for stiffness, and olive oil to help it flow - the latter having the unfortunate tendency to go rancid several hours a

Ambrose Bierce

An older student came to Otis and said, "I have been to see a great number of teachers and I have given up a great number of pleasures. I have fasted, been celibate and stayed awake nights seeking enlightenment. I have given up everything I was aske


Let's talk about how to fill out your 1984 tax return. Here's an often overlooked accounting technique that can save you thousands of dollars: For several days before you put it in the mail, carry your tax return around under your armpit. No IRS ag

Anastasia Albert

When I have one foot in the grave I will tell the truth about women. I shall tell it, jump into my coffin, pull the lid over me, and say, "Do what you like now."

Anderson Laurie

When the ax entered the forest, the trees said, "The handle is one of us!"

Anderson Laurie

You know very well that whether you are on page one or page thirty depends on whether [the press] fear you. It is just as simple as that.

Anderson Laurie

A government that is big enough to give you all you want is big enough to take it all away.

Andre Maurois

The root of all superstition is that men observe when a thing hits, but not when it misses.

Anne Frank

In Dr. Johnson's famous dictionary patriotism is defined as the last resort of the scoundrel. With all due respect to an enlightened but inferior lexicographer I beg to submit that it is the first.

Anouilh Jean

Like ya know? Rock 'N Roll is an esoteric language that unlocks the creativity chambers in people's brains, and like totally activates their essential hipness, which of course is like totally necessary for saving the earth, like because the first th

Anouilh Jean

In a museum in Havana, there are two skulls of Christopher Columbus, "one when he was a boy and one when he was a man."

Anthony Piers

If you live in a country run by committee, be on the committee.

Anthony Susan B.

Our swords shall play the orators for us.

Antoinette Marie

The sooner you make your first 5000 mistakes, the sooner you will be able to correct them.

Appleby Sir Humphrey

A political man can have as his aim the realization of freedom, but he has no means to realize it other than through violence.

Arendt Hannah

You're all clear now, kid. Now blow this thing so we can all go home.


The two oldest professions in the world have been ruined by amateurs.


Every cloud engenders not a storm.


Before you ask more questions, think about whether you really want to know the answers.


The last thing one knows in constructing a work is what to put first.


In the highest society, as well as in the lowest, woman is merely an instrument of pleasure.


Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel.


It's all right letting yourself go as long as you can let yourself back.


Your wig steers the gig.


Let's say your wedding ring falls into your toaster, and when you stick your hand in to retrieve it, you suffer Pain and Suffering as well as Mental Anguish. You would sue: * The toaster manufacturer, for failure to include, in the instructions


Any stone in your boot always migrates against the pressure gradient to exactly the point of most pressure.


We should have a Vollyballocracy. We elect a six-pack of presidents. Each one serves until they screw up, at which point they rotate.

Arlen Michael

It is better to have loved and lost

Armour Richard

Art is anything you can get away with.

Armstrong Louis

If you wish to be happy for one hour, get drunk. If you wish to be happy for three days, get married. If you wish to be happy for a month, kill your pig and eat it. If you wish to be happy forever, learn to fish.

Arthur Naiman

TV is chewing gum for the eyes.

Arthur Naiman

Talking about music is like dancing about architecture.

Arthur Naiman

If I had any humility I would be perfect.

Arthur Sullivan

Just because you like my stuff doesn't mean I owe you anything.

Ashley-Pitt Alan

Dignity is like a flag. It flaps in a storm.

Ashley-Pitt Alan

We cannot put the face of a person on a stamp unless said person is deceased. My suggestion, therefore, is that you drop dead.

Asimov Isaac

Joe Cool always spends the first two weeks at college sailing his frisbee.

Asimov Isaac

She hates testicles, thus limiting the men she can admire to Democratic candidates for president.

Aspin Les D.

Life is like a sewer. What you get out of it depends on what you put into it.

Asterix Adventures of

Fortune's Guide to Freshman Notetaking: WHEN THE PROFESSOR SAYS: YOU WRITE: Probably the greatest quality of the poetry John Milton

Attorney General William

It is impossible to enjoy idling thoroughly unless one has plenty of work to do.

Atwood Margaret

Rule the Empire through force.

Auden W.H.

"Give me enough medals, and I'll win any war."


Men freely believe that what they wish to desire.

Augustine Norman

He was a fiddler, and consequently a rogue.

Augustine Norman

Marijuana will be legal some day, because the many law students who now smoke pot will someday become congressmen and legalize it in order to protect themselves.

Augustine Norman

For courage mounteth with occasion.

Augustine Norman

War is like love, it always finds a way.

Augustine Norman

There's small choice in rotten apples.

Augustine Norman

It's no surprise that things are so screwed up: everyone that knows how to run a government is either driving taxicabs or cutting hair.

Augustine Norman

A rolling stone gathers no moss.

Augustine Saint

After the game the king and the pawn go in the same box.

Augustine St.

The best you get is an even break.

Augustine St.

I will make you shorter by the head.

Augustine St.

I remember once being on a station platform in Cleveland at four in the morning. A black porter was carrying my bags, and as we were waiting for the train to come in, he said to me: "Excuse me, Mr. Cooke, I don't want to invade your privacy, but I h

Augustine St.

I went to a Grateful Dead Concert and they played for SEVEN hours. Great song.

Aurelius Marcus

[He] took me into his library and showed me his books, of which he had a complete set.

Aurelius Sextus

"I only touch base with reality on an as-needed basis!"

Aurobindo Sri

There is no hunting like the hunting of man, and those who have hunted armed men long enough and liked it, never care for anything else thereafter.

Aurobindo Sri

The broad mass of a nation... will more easily fall victim to a big lie than to a small one.

Austen J.

We must remember that in time of war what is said on the enemy's side of the front is always propaganda and what is said on our side of the front is truth and righteousness, the cause of humanity and a crusade for peace.


A good plan today is better than a perfect plan tomorrow.

Ayres C.E.

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Ha Nate

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