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When you die, you lose a very important part of your life.

B Marion Zimmer

Don't go to bed with no price on your head.

Ba Dave

Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable.

Baber R.E.

Having the fewest wants, I am nearest to the gods.

Babson Roger

Getting into trouble is easy.

Bacall Lauren

Suffering alone exists, none who suffer; The deed there is, but no doer thereof; Nirvana is, but no one is seeking it; The Path there is, but none who travel it.

Bach J.S.

In a hierarchy every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence ... in time every post tends to be occupied by an employee who is incompetent to carry out its duties ... Work is accomplished by those employees who have not yet reached their

Bach Richard

All kings is mostly rapscallions.

Bacharach Burt

People who have what they want are very fond of telling people who haven't what they want that they don't want it.

Bacon Francis

The longer I am out of office, the more infallible I appear to myself.

Bacon Francis

The [Ford Foundation] is a large body of money completely surrounded by people who want some.

Bacon Francis

Man is by nature a political animal.

Bacon Francis

The truth is what is; what should be is a dirty lie.

Bacon Francis

Termiter's argument that God is His own grandmother generated a surprising amount of controversy among Church leaders, who on the one hand considered the argument unsupported by scripture but on the other hand were unwilling to risk offending God's g

Bacon Francis

Don't take a nickel, just hand them your business card.

Bacon Francis

I understand why you're confused. You're thinking too much.

Bacon Francis

The truth of a thing is the feel of it, not the think of it.

Bailey P.J.

A myth is a religion in which no-one any longer believes.

Baja Dan Jenkins

The divinity of Jesus is made a convenient cover for absurdity. Nowhere in the Gospels do we find a precept for Creeds, Confessions, Oaths, Doctrines, and whole carloads of other foolish trumpery that we find in Christianity.

Baker Russell

If a man stay away from his wife for seven years, the law presumes the separation to have killed him; yet according to our daily experience, it might well prolong his life.

Baker Russell

When I came back to Dublin I was courtmartialed in my absence and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence.

Baker Russell

The distinction between Freedom and Liberty is not accurately known; naturalists have been unable to find a living specimen of either.

Baker Russell

Ninety percent of the politicians give the other ten percent a bad reputation.

Baldwin James

Once I belonged to a group that really had THE WORD. I fought like hell for them. But another group came along and exposed the word of my group as shallow and degenerate. They had a better word. So I quit the first group and lost all the friends

Baldwin Stanley

Never tell people how to do things. Tell them WHAT to do and they will surprise you with their ingenuity.


[District Attorneys] learn in District Attorney School that there are two sure-fire ways to get a lot of favorable publicity: (1) Go down and raid all the lockers in the local high school and confiscate 53 marijuana cigarettes and put them in a

Balfour Arthur

If I cannot bend Heaven, I shall move Hell.

Balliett Whitney

This is an especially good time for you vacationers who plan to fly, because the Reagan administration, as part of the same policy under which it recently sold Yellowstone National Park to Wayne Newton, has "deregulated" the airline industry. What t

Ballou Hosea

Kindness is a language which the deaf can hear and the blind can read.


"... an experienced, industrious, ambitious, and often quite often picturesque liar."

Balzac Honor'e de

I will make you shorter by the head.

Bandits Time

The only certainty is that nothing is certain.

Bankhead Tallulah

You always introduce the younger person to the older person, using the wording: "Miss Brown, I'd like to introduce you to an older person" (unless her name is not "Miss Brown"). If you do not know a person's age, ask for a driver's license and a ma

Banks Russell

Why, every one as they like; as the good woman said when she kissed her cow.

Banzai Buckaroo

I value kindness to human beings first of all, and kindness to animals. I don't respect the law; I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger, the food cheaper, and old men

Barber Milt

Let others praise ancient times; I am glad I was born in these.


THE MX IS GOOD FOR THE ECONOMY. One important reason we have a Defense Department is that when we give it money, it spends it, which creates jobs, whereas if we left the money in the hands of civilians, we don't know what they'd do with it. Probabl

Barf Biff

In spite of everything, I still believe that people are good at heart.

Barker Clive

"When are you BUTTHEADS gonna learn that you can't oppose Gestapo tactics *with* Gestapo tactics?"

Barrie J.M.

My own life has been spent chronicling the rise and fall of human systems, and I am convinced that we are terribly vulnerable. ... We should be reluctant to turn back upon the frontier of this epoch. Space is indifferent to what we do; it has no fe

Barris Chuck

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve immortality through not dying.

Barry Dave

Great acts are made up of small deeds.

Barry Dave

For if there is a sin against life, it consists perhaps not so much in despairing of life as in hoping for another life and in eluding the implacable grandeur of this life.

Barry Dave

In "King Henry VI, Part II," Shakespeare has Dick Butcher suggest to his fellow anti-establishment rabble-rousers, "The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers." That action may be extreme but a similar sentiment was expressed by Thomas K. Co

Barry Dave

"If once a man indulges himself in murder, very soon he comes to think little of robbing; and from robbing he next comes to drinking and Sabbath-breaking, and from that to incivility and procrastination."

Barry Dave

"Quite frankly, I don't like you humans. After what you all have done, I find being 'inhuman' a compliment."

Barry Dave

If people say that here and there someone has been taken away and maltreated, I can only reply: You can't make an omelette without breaking eggs.

Barry Dave

A thing is not necessarily true because a man dies for it.

Barry Dave

Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig.

Barry Dave

In case of fire, stand in the hall and shout "Fire!"

Barry Dave

Now, you might ask, "How do I get one of those complete home tool sets for under $4?" An excellent question. Go to one of those really cheap discount stores where they sell plastic furniture in colors visible from the planet Neptune and where they

Barry Dave

WE'RE GOING TO THROW THE MX AWAY AFTER WE BUILD IT. The MX is really [Don't tell anybody!] just a "bargaining chip" in the nuclear-arms- reduction talks with the Russians. See, we have a problem with the Russians. They look at our leaders and they

Barry Dave

Extremism in the defense of liberty is no vice... moderation in the pursuit of justice is no virtue.

Barry Dave

Well, he thought, since neither Aristotelian Logic nor the disciplines of Science seemed to offer much hope, it's time to go beyond them... Drawing a few deep even breaths, he entered a mental state practiced only by Masters of the Universal Way of

Barry Dave

Tact in audacity is knowing how far you can go without going too far.

Barry Dave

Rotten wood cannot be carved.

Barry Dave

Anything anybody can say about America is true.

Barry Dave

Ed Sullivan will be around as long as someone else has talent.

Barry Dave

A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject.

Barry Dave

Millions of sensible people are too high-minded to concede that politics is almost always the choice of the lesser evil. "Tweedledum and Tweedledee," they say. "I will not vote." Having abstained, they are presented with a President who appoints t

Barry Dave

There are no answers, only cross-references.

Barry Dave

The average Ph.D thesis is nothing but the transference of bones from one graveyard to another.

Barry Dave

I have a simple philosophy: Fill what's empty. Empty what's full. Scratch where it itches.

Barry Dave

I'm not sure I've even got the brains to be President.

Barry Dave

Being a miner, as soon as you're too old and tired and sick and stupid to do your job properly, you have to go, where the very opposite applies with the judges.

Barry Dave

The fact that an opinion has been widely held is no evidence that it is not utterly absurd; indeed, in view of the silliness of the majority of mankind, a widespread belief is more often likely to be foolish than sensible.

Barry Dave

A platitude is simply a truth repeated till people get tired of hearing it.

Barry Dave

You know very well that whether you are on page one or page thirty depends on whether [the press] fear you. It is just as simple as that.

Barry Dave

Television has proved that people will look at anything rather than each other.

Barry Dave

Skill without imagination is craftsmanship and gives us many useful objects such as wickerwork picnic baskets. Imagination without skill gives us modern art.

Barry Dave

The first rule of all intelligent tinkering is to keep all the parts.

Barry Dave

This sad little lizard told me that he was a brontosaurus on his mother's side. I did not laugh; people who boast of ancestry often have little else to sustain them. Humoring them costs nothing and adds happiness in a world in which happiness is al

Barry Dave

During almost fifteen centuries the legal establishment of Christianity has been upon trial. What has been its fruits? More or less, in all places, pride and indolence in the clergy; ignorance and servility in the laity,; in both, superstition, bigo

Barry Dave

"We demand rigidly defined areas of doubt and uncertainty!"

Barry Dave

You've always made the mistake of being yourself.

Barry Dave

A new taste had been acquired and a new appetite began to grow. The time had long since arrived to crush the technical intelligentsia, which had come to regard itself as too irreplaceable and had not gotten used to catching instructions on the wing.

Barry Dave

I knew her before she was a virgin.

Barry Dave

The man with the best job in the country is the Vice President. All he has to do is get up every morning and say, "How's the President?"

Barry Dave

Plato, by the way, wanted to banish all poets from his proposed Utopia because they were liars. The truth was that Plato knew philosophers couldn't compete successfully with poets.

Barry Dave

When I first arrived in this country I had only fifteen cents in my pocket and a willingness to compromise.

Barry Dave

There is more to life than increasing its speed.

Barry Dave

Several years ago, some smart businessmen had an idea: Why not build a big store where a do-it-yourselfer could get everything he needed at reasonable prices? Then they decided, nah, the hell with that, let's build a home center. And before long ho

Barry Dave

Satire is tragedy plus time.

Barry Dave

For fools rush in where angels fear to tread.

Barry Dave

Therefore it is necessary to learn how not to be good, and to use this knowledge and not use it, according to the necessity of the cause.

Barry Dave

There is no ox so dumb as the orthodox.

Barry Dave

Nothing matters very much, and few things matter at all.

Barry Dave

As long as there are entrenched social and political distinctions between sexes, races or classes, there will be forms of science whose main function is to rationalize and legitimize these distinctions.

Barry Dave

"Every morning, I get up and look through the 'Forbes' list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work"

Barry Dave

If a man stay away from his wife for seven years, the law presumes the separation to have killed him; yet according to our daily experience, it might well prolong his life.

Baruch B.

The chief cause of problems is solutions.

Battie Bill

No live organism can continue for long to exist sanely under conditions of absolute reality; even larks and katydids are supposed, by some, to dream. Hill House, not sane, stood by itself against its hills, holding darkness within; it had stood so fo

Baudelaire Charles

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.

Beal Louise

Receiving a million dollars tax free will make you feel better than being flat broke and having a stomach ache.

Bear Greg

If reporters don't know that truth is plural, they ought to be lawyers.

Beard Charles A.

Life is too short to be taken seriously.

Beard Peter

Look, we trade every day out there with hustlers, deal-makers, shysters, con-men. That's the way businesses get started. That's the way this country was built.

Beaton Cecil

In India, "cold weather" is merely a conventional phrase and has come into use through the necessity of having some way to distinguish between weather which will melt a brass door-knob and weather which will only make it mushy.

Beatty Paul

I go on working for the same reason a hen goes on laying eggs.

Beauvoir Simone de

The full potentialities of human fury cannot be reached until a friend of both parties tactfully interferes.

Beck Bob

I never cheated an honest man, only rascals. They wanted something for nothing. I gave them nothing for something.

Becke Samuel

Why be a man when you can be a success?


Man must shape his tools lest they shape him.

Beckett Samuel

If you know the answer to a question, don't ask.

Beckett Samuel

I try not to break the rules but merely to test their elasticity.

Beckett Samuel

We are what we pretend to be.

Beckman Roman

I try to keep an open mind, but not so open that my brains fall out.

Beeblebrox Zaphod

Never take a resume seriously. Resumes only make money for the people who write the resumes. No resume ever tells an employer how many times a job applicant has had the clap. Why, indeed, would anyone hire a person based on a resume written by a

Beecher Rev. Henry Ward

I'll burn my books.

Beer Stafford

She say, Miss Colie, You better hush. God might hear you. Let 'im hear me, I say. If he ever listened to poor colored women the world would be a different place, I can tell you.

Behan Brendan

Democracy is a device that insures we shall be governed no better than we deserve.

Behan Brendan

Some men are heterosexual, and some are bisexual, and some men don't think about sex at all... they become lawyers.

Behan Brendan

Men of lofty genius when they are doing the least work are most active.

Behan Brendan

A man said to the Universe: "Sir, I exist!" "However," replied the Universe, "the fact has not created in me a sense of obligation."

Belloc Hilaire

Two can Live as Cheaply as One for Half as Long.

Bellow Saul

Truly great madness can not be achieved without significant intelligence.

Ben Franklin

There is a natural hootchy-kootchy to a goldfish.

Benares Camden

Certainly the game is rigged. Don't let that stop you; if you don't bet, you can't win.

Benares Camden

It is so stupid of modern civilisation to have given up believing in the devil when he is the only explanation of it.

Benchley Robert

Objectivity is to a newspaper what virtue is to a woman.

Benchley Robert

You men out there probably think you already know how to dress for success. You know, for example, that you should not wear leisure suits or white plastic belts and shoes, unless you are going to a costume party disguised as a pig farmer vacationing

Benchley Robert

Richard Nixon was the most dishonest individual I have ever met in my life. He lied to his wife, his family, his friends, his colleagues in the Congress, lifetime members of his own political party, the American people, and the world.

Benchley Robert

Well begun is half done.


I just need enough to tide me over until I need more.

Benjamin A.

An efficient and a successful administration manifests itself equally in small as in great matters.

Bennett Alan

Calvin Coolidge looks as if he had been weaned on a pickle.

Bennett Arnold

Arrakis teaches the attitude of the knife - chopping off what's incomplete and saying: "Now it's complete because it's ended here."

Bennett D.

The man who runs may fight again.

Bennett James Gordon

Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.

Bennett W.C.

Never trust an automatic pistol or a D.A.'s deal.

Bennett W.C.

As Gen. de Gaulle occassionally acknowledges America to be the daughter of Europe, so I am pleased to come to Yale, the daughter of Harvard.

Bergen Candice

Serfs up!

Berle Milton

If one inquires why the American tradition is so strong against any connection of State and Church, why it dreads even the rudiments of religious teaching in state-maintained schools, the immediate and superficial answer is not far to seek. ... The

Berlioz Hector

Nothing succeeds like excess.

Berman Edgar

I owe the public nothing.

Bernanos Georges

Sho' they got to have it against the law. Shoot, ever'body git high, they wouldn't be nobody git up and feed the chickens. Hee-hee.

Berner Jeff

If you have seen one city slum you have seen them all.

Berquier Edouard

The bay-trees in our country are all wither'd And meteors fright the fixed stars of heaven; The pale-faced moon looks bloody on the earth And lean-look'd prophets whisper fearful change. These signs forerun the death or fall of kings.

Berra Yogi

Democracy is a form of government in which it is permitted to wonder aloud what the country could do under first-class management.

Berra Yogi

Why, when no honest man will deny in private that every ultimate problem is wrapped in the profoundest mystery, do honest men proclaim in pulpits that unhesitating certainty is the duty of the most foolish and ignorant? Is it not a spectacle to make

Berryman John

If you're like most homeowners, you're afraid that many repairs around your home are too difficult to tackle. So, when your furnace explodes, you call in a so-called professional to fix it. The "professional" arrives in a truck with lettering on t

Biel Gabriel

The fact that it works is immaterial.

Bierce Ambrose

There's nothing in the middle of the road but yellow stripes and dead armadillos.

Bierce Ambrose

Laws are like sausages. It's better not to see them being made.

Bierce Ambrose

Education is what survives when what has been learnt has been forgotten.

Bierce Ambrose

Faith is under the left nipple.

Bierce Ambrose

Of all possible committee reactions to any given agenda item, the reaction that will occur is the one which will liberate the greatest amount of hot air.

Bierce Ambrose

A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on.

Bierce Ambrose

Sometimes when you look into his eyes you get the feeling that someone else is driving.

Bierce Ambrose

A conservative is a man who is too cowardly to fight and too fat to run.

Bierce Ambrose

You need only reflect that one of the best ways to get yourself a reputation as a dangerous citizen these days is to go about repeating the very phrases which our founding fathers used in the struggle for independence.

Bierce Ambrose

Unless hours were cups of sack, and minutes capons, and clocks the tongues of bawds, and dials the signs of leaping houses, and the blessed sun himself a fair, hot wench in flame-colored taffeta, I see no reason why thou shouldst be so superfluous to

Bilbo Baggins

There is a certain frame of mind to which a cemetery is, if not an antidote, at least an alleviation. If you are in a fit of the blues, go nowhere else.

Bill Adler

To defend the Saigon regime is not worth one more human life.

Bill Cain

When you are in the middle of a story it isn't a story at all, but only a confusion; a dark roaring, a blindness, a wreckage of shattered glass and splintered wood, like a house in a whirlwind, or else a boat crushed by the icebergs or swept over the

Bill Cain

I heard a definition of an intellectual, that I thought was very interesting: a man who takes more words than are necessary to tell more than he knows.

Billings Josh

If all the world's a stage, I want to operate the trap door.

Billings Josh

I believe that Ronald Reagan will someday make this country what it once was ... an arctic wilderness.

Billings Josh

Go away, I'm all right.

Billings Josh

He is now rising from affluence to poverty.

Billings Josh

No bird soars too high if he soars with his own wings.

Billings Josh

America is a stronger nation for the ACLU's uncompromising effort.

Billings Josh

You will remember, Watson, how the dreadful business of the Abernetty family was first brought to my notice by the depth which the parsley had sunk into the butter upon a hot day.

Binder Dr. L.

Mental power tended to corrupt, and absolute intelligence tended to corrupt absolutely, until the victim eschewed violence entirely in favor of smart solutions to stupid problems.

Binstead Arthur

I think... I think it's in my basement... Let me go upstairs and check.


The worst cliques are those which consist of one man.


By the middle 1880's, practically all the roads except those in the South, were of the present standard gauge. The southern roads were still five feet between rails. It was decided to change the gauge of all southern roads to standard, in one day


There is an innocence in admiration; it is found in those to whom it has not yet occurred that they, too, might be admired some day.

Bir Fred Nietzsche The

"You mean, if you allow the master to be uncivil, to treat you any old way he likes, and to insult your dignity, then he may deem you fit to hear his view of things?" "Quite the contrary. You must defend your integrity, assuming you have integrit

Bismarck Otto Von

"Go on, girl! You'll never get a better chance to buy Jif at this price. *Carpe diem*, babe!"

Bismarck Otto Von

The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man.

Bismarck Otto von

I went into the business for the money, and the art grew out of it. If people are disillusioned by that remark, I can't help it. It's the truth.

Bismarck Otto von

"... all the modern inconveniences ..."

Bismarck Otto von

It is impossible to enjoy idling thoroughly unless one has plenty of work to do.

Bismark Otto von

What we cannot speak about we must pass over in silence.


No house should ever be on any hill or on anything. It should be of the hill, belonging to it.


[Maturity consists in the discovery that] there comes a critical moment where everything is reversed, after which the point becomes to understand more and more that there is something which cannot be understood.

Blake William

... Let me tell you who the actual "front-runners" are. On one side, you have George Bush, who is currently going through a sort of fraternity hazing wherein he has to perform a series of humiliating stunts to win the approval of the Republican Righ

Blake William

An elderly man stands in line for hours at a Warsaw meat store (meat is severely rationed). When the butcher comes out at the end of the day and announces that there is no meat left, the man flies into a rage. "What is this?" he shouts. "I fought

Blake William

Every country has the government it deserves.

Blake William

In Hollywood, all marriages are happy. It's trying to live together afterwards that causes the problems.

Blake William

You first have to decide whether to use the short or the long form. The short form is what the Internal Revenue Service calls "simplified", which means it is designed for people who need the help of a Sears tax-preparation expert to distinguish betwe

Blaylock James P.

"That boy's about as sharp as a pound of wet liver"

Blaylock James P.

When you are about to die, a wombat is better than no company at all.

Blaylock James P.

It's not easy, being green.

Blaylock James P.

Just close your eyes, tap your heels together three times, and think to yourself, `There's no place like home.'

Blish James

Would that my hand were as swift as my tongue.


The superfluous is very necessary.


Political history is far too criminal a subject to be a fit thing to teach children.

Bo Napoleon

Of all men's miseries, the bitterest is this: to know so much and have control over nothing.

Bo Napoleon

My religion consists of a humble admiration of the illimitable superior spirit who reveals himself in the slight details we are able to perceive with our frail and feeble mind.

Bob Cary Grant

It's not Camelot, but it's not Cleveland, either.

Bob Dylan

Liberty don't work as good in practice as it does in speeches.

Boffo Mister

XLI: The more one produces, the less one gets. XLII: Simple systems are not feasible because they require infinite testing. XLIII: Hardware works best when it matters the least. XLIV: Aircraft flight in the 21st century will always be in a we

Bogart Humphrey

The coast was clear.

Bogart Humphrey

"It's kind of fun to do the impossible."

Bohr Niels

The best that we can do is to be kindly and helpful toward our friends and fellow passengers who are clinging to the same speck of dirt while we are drifting side by side to our common doom.

Boleyn Anne

When a shepherd goes to kill a wolf, and takes his dog along to see the sport, he should take care to avoid mistakes. The dog has certain relationships to the wolf the shepherd may have forgotten.

Bombeck Erma

The plot was designed in a light vein that somehow became varicose.

Bombeck Erma

The English instinctively admire any man who has no talent and is modest about it.

Bon John Dillinger on

An older student came to Otis and said, "I have been to see a great number of teachers and I have given up a great number of pleasures. I have fasted, been celibate and stayed awake nights seeking enlightenment. I have given up everything I was aske

Bono Ed De

Many hands make light work.

Bonzai Buckaroo

He who knows others is wise. He who knows himself is enlightened.

Boorstin Daniel J.

The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has. Even when you make a tax form out on the level, you don't know when it's through if you are a crook or a martyr.

Boren James H.

The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring a nature that it will last through a whole lifetime, if not asked to lend money.

Borge Victor

Most Texans think Hanukkah is some sort of duck call.

Bosky Bernadette

You probably wouldn't worry about what people think of you if you could know how seldom they do.

Bosquet Pierre

Christianity might be a good thing if anyone ever tried it.

Bossert W.

What does not destroy me, makes me stronger.

Boswell James

I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best.

Bowie David

Divorce is a game played by lawyers.

Bowles Colin

What you see is from outside yourself, and may come, or not, but is beyond your control. But your fear is yours, and yours alone, like your voice, or your fingers, or your memory, and therefore yours to control. If you feel powerless over your fear

Bowles Colin

A people living under the perpetual menace of war and invasion is very easy to govern. It demands no social reforms. It does not haggle over expenditures on armaments and military equipment. It pays without discussion, it ruins itself, and that is

Bradbury Ray

From a certain point onward there is no longer any turning back. That is the point that must be reached.

Bradley F.H.

REPORTER: Senator, are you for or against the MX missile system? SENATOR: Bob, the MX missile system reminds me of an old saying that the country folk in my state like to say. It goes like this: "You can carry a pig for six miles, but if you set i

Bradley General Omar N.

If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything.

Bramah Ernest

The aim of a joke is not to degrade the human being but to remind him that he is already degraded.

Brandeis Justice Louis D.

Living in New York City gives people real incentives to want things that nobody else wants.

Brando Marlon

Unknown person(s) stole the American flag from its pole in Etra Park sometime between 3pm Jan 17 and 11:30 am Jan 20. The flag is described as red, white and blue, having 50 stars and was valued at $40.

Brando Marlon

An ounce of hypocrisy is worth a pound of ambition.

Brant Sebastian

If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars.

Braun Wernher von

How can you govern a nation which has 246 kinds of cheese?

Brecher K.

I would not like to be a political leader in Russia. They never know when they're being taped.

Brecheux J.

The heroic hours of life do not announce their presence by drum and trumpet, challenging us to be true to ourselves by appeals to the martial spirit that keeps the blood at heat. Some little, unassuming, unobtrusive choice presents itself before us

Brecht Bertold

Only those who leisurely approach that which the masses are busy about can be busy about that which the masses take leisurely.

Brecht Bertolt

Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years.

Brecht Bertolt

Nonsense and beauty have close connections.

Brecht Bertolt

When you say that you agree to a thing in principle, you mean that you have not the slightest intention of carrying it out in practice.

Brecht Bertolt

I see a good deal of talk from Washington about lowering taxes. I hope they do get 'em lowered down enough so people can afford to pay 'em.

Brecht Bertolt

I remember once being on a station platform in Cleveland at four in the morning. A black porter was carrying my bags, and as we were waiting for the train to come in, he said to me: "Excuse me, Mr. Cooke, I don't want to invade your privacy, but I h

Brecht Bertolt

It is ridiculous to call this an industry. This is not. This is rat eat rat, dog eat dog. I'll kill 'em, and I'm going to kill 'em before they kill me. You're talking about the American way of survival of the fittest.

Brecht Bertolt

The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence.

Brenan Gerald

Original thought is like original sin: both happened before you were born to people you could not have possibly met.

Brescia Albertano of

Already the spirit of our schooling is permeated with the feeling that every subject, every topic, every fact, every professed truth must be submitted to a certain publicity and impartiality. All proffered samples of learning must go to the same ass

Brian Herbert

Eighteen goddess-like daughters are not equal to one son with a hump.

Briggs Austen

A prediction is worth twenty explanations.

Brilliant Ashleigh

A witty saying proves nothing.

Brilliant Ashleigh

Paradise is exactly like where you are right now ... only much, much better.

Brilliant Ashleigh

"Yes, that was Richard Nixon. He used to be President. When he left the White House, the Secret Service would count the silverware."

Brilliant Ashleigh

An ambassador is an honest man sent abroad to lie and intrigue for the benefit of his country.

Brilliant Ashleigh

Modern art is what happens when painters stop looking at girls and persuade themselves that they have a better idea.

Broder David

A public debt is a kind of anchor in the storm; but if the anchor be too heavy for the vessel, she will be sunk by that very weight which was intended for her preservation.

Brodsky Joseph

Corrupt, stupid grasping functionaries will make at least as big a muddle of socialism as stupid, selfish and acquisitive employers can make of capitalism.

Brogan Colm

I went into a bar feeling a little depressed, the bartender said, "What'll you have, Bud"? I said," I don't know, surprise me". So he showed me a nude picture of my wife.

Brooks Mel

Don't steal; thou'lt never thus compete successfully in business. Cheat.

Brooks Atkinson

Lay on, MacDuff, and curs'd be him who first cries, "Hold, enough!".

Brooks Mel

Oh what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive.

Brooks Mel

I have already given two cousins to the war and I stand ready to sacrifice my wife's brother.

Brothers The Blues

The Priest's grey nimbus in a niche where he dressed discreetly. I will not sleep here tonight. Home also I cannot go. A voice, sweetened and sustained, called to him from the sea. Turning the curve he waved his hand. A sleek brown head, a seal's,

Brothers The Blues

Where there is much light there is also much shadow.

Broughton Philip

Fear is the greatest salesman.

Brow John Mason

If you catch a man, throw him back.

Brow John Mason

If a man has a strong faith he can indulge in the luxury of skepticism.

Brown Governor Jerry

Between 1950 and 1952, a bored weatherman, stationed north of Hudson Bay, left a monument that neither government nor time can eradicate. Using a bulldozer abandoned by the Air Force, he spent two years and great effort pushing boulders into a single

Brown Rita Mae

As long as I am mayor of this city [Jersey City, New Jersey] the great industries are secure. We hear about constitutional rights, free speech and the free press. Every time I hear these words I say to myself, "That man is a Red, that man is a Comm

Browning Robert

Just because you like my stuff doesn't mean I owe you anything.

Bruce Lenny

"Is it just me, or does anyone else read `bible humpers' every time someone writes `bible thumpers?'

Bruce Lenny

It has long been an axiom of mine that the little things are infinitely the most important.

Bruce Lenny

October 12, the Discovery. It was wonderful to find America, but it would have been more wonderful to miss it.

Bruce Lenny

It took a while to surface, but it appears that a long-distance credit card may have saved a U.S. Army unit from heavy casualties during the Grenada military rescue/invasion. Major General David Nichols, Air Force ... said the Army unit was in a hous

Bruce Lenny

If you have to ask what jazz is, you'll never know.

Bruce Lenny

"You boys lookin' for trouble?" "Sure. Whaddya got?"

Bruce Lenny

She ran the gamut of emotions from 'A' to 'B'.

Bruce Lenny

It is not the critic who counts, or how the strong man stumbled, or whether the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives vali

Bruce Lenny

The surest protection against temptation is cowardice.

Bruce Lenny

Democrats buy most of the books that have been banned somewhere. Republicans form censorship committees and read them as a group. Republicans consume three-fourths of the rutabaga produced in the USA. The remainder is thrown out. Republicans usu

Bruce Lenny

What does it take for Americans to do great things; to go to the moon, to win wars, to dig canals linking oceans, to build railroads across a continent? In independent thought about this question, Neil Armstrong and I concluded that it takes a coinci

Brunner John

"They make a desert and call it peace."

Bruyere Jean de la

Sometimes a man who deserves to be looked down upon because he is a fool is despised only because he is a lawyer.

Bry Yul

You can't play your friends like marks, kid.

Bryson Lyman

A casual stroll through a lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything.

Buckley Lord

"I understand this is your first dead client," Sabian was saying. The absurdity of the statement made me want to laugh but they don't call me Deadpan Allie and lie.

Buckley William F.

Optimism is the content of small men in high places.

Buckley William F.

A team effort is a lot of people doing what I say.

Buddha Gotama

Women of genius commonly have masculine faces, figures and manners. In transplanting brains to an alien soil God leaves a little of the original earth clinging to the roots.

Bullwinkle Rocky and

Goose pimples rose all over me, my hair stood on end, my eyes filled with tears of love and gratitude for this greatest of all conquerers of human misery and shame, and my breath came in little gasps. If I had not known that the Leader would have sc

Bullwinkle J. Moose

Thank God I've always avoided persecuting my enemies.

Bulwer-Ly Grand Panjandrum

If a thing's worth doing, it is worth doing badly.


If a jury in a criminal trial stays out for more than twenty-four hours, it is certain to vote acquittal, save in those instances where it votes guilty.


Nobody shot me.


While your friend holds you affectionately by both your hands you are safe, for you can watch both of his.


I would like to electrocute everyone who uses the word 'fair' in connection with income tax policies.

Bumstead Dagwood

Don't talk to me about naval tradition. It's nothing but rum, sodomy and the lash.

Bungei Shunju

If Karl, instead of writing a lot about Capital, had made a lot of Capital, it would have been much better.

Buren Abigail Van

You can't underestimate the power of fear.

Buren Abigail Van

Any priest or shaman must be presumed guilty until proved innocent.

Burgess Anthony

But, for my own part, it was Greek to me.

Burgess Philip Larkin on Anthony

Alea iacta est. [The die is cast]

Burke James

A Polish worker walks into a bank to deposit his paycheck. He has heard about Poland's economic problems, and he asks what would happen to his money if the bank collapsed. "All of our deposits are guaranteed by the finance ministry, sir," the telle

Burnham Daniel Hudson

My advice to you, my violent friend, is to seek out gold and sit on it.

Burns George

Dianetics is a milestone for man comparable to his discovery of fire and superior to his invention of the wheel and the arch.

Burns George

The only winner in the War of 1812 was Tchaikovsky.

Burroughs William

I: The best way to make a silk purse from a sow's ear is to begin with a silk sow. The same is true of money. II: If today were half as good as tomorrow is supposed to be, it would probably be twice as good as yesterday was. III: There are

Burroughs William S.

The only really good place to buy lumber is at a store where the lumber has already been cut and attached together in the form of furniture, finished, and put inside boxes.

Burt Lanier Safford III

There's no such thing as a free lunch.

Burton Robert

were found to be wearing neckwear that was tighter than their neck circumference. The visual discrimination of the 22 subjects was evaluated using a critical flicker frequency (CFF) test. Results of the CFF test indicated that tight neckwear signifi

Burton Sir Richard

The ripest fruit falls first.

Burton Sir Richard

If reporters don't know that truth is plural, they ought to be lawyers.

Business Risky

One thing I have no worry about is whether God exists. But it has occurred to me that God has Alzheimer's and has forgotten we exist.

Butler Dave

A right is not what someone gives you; it's what no one can take from you.

Butler Samuel

Money can't buy happiness, but it can make you awfully comfortable while you're being miserable.

Butler Samuel

Politicians speak for their parties, and parties never are, never have been, and never will be wrong.

Butler Samuel

If it takes a bloodbath, lets get it over with. No more appeasement.

Butler Samuel

The reasons that each of these countries has had to renege on its financial committments were all somewhat different: Argentina because of a war, Poland because of its vast misguided overinvestment in heavy industry, Honduras because the coffee price

Butler Samuel

Don't get mad, get even.

Butler Samuel

To add insult to injury.

Butler Samuel

But the greatest Electrical Pioneer of them all was Thomas Edison, who was a brilliant inventor despite the fact that he had little formal education and lived in New Jersey. Edison's first major invention in 1877, was the phonograph, which could soo

Bux Bastian B.

It was the Law of the Sea, they said. Civilization ends at the waterline. Beyond that, we all enter the food chain, and not always right at the top.

Byrnes James F.

Sherry [Thomas Sheridan] is dull, naturally dull; but it must have taken him a great deal of pains to become what we now see him. Such an excess of stupidity, sir, is not in Nature.

Bywater T.

Look ere ye leap.

beach. from the

The trouble with opportunity is that it always comes disguised as hard work.

better. much

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Nothing is illegal if one hundred businessmen decide to do it.
Young Andrew

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