Capitalism is the extraordinary belief that the nastiest of men, for the nastiest of reasons, will somehow work for the benefit of us all.

A man said to the Universe: "Sir, I exist!" "However," replied the Universe, "the fact has not created in me a sense of obligation."

Kindness is a language which the deaf can hear and the blind can read.

The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently.

There are no manifestos like cannon and musketry.

For every credibility gap, there is a gullibility fill.

What good is an obscenity trial except to popularize literature?

"Here's the holiday schedule for Monday's observation of Martin Luther King Jr.'s birthday, when the following will be closed: * Governmental offices * Post offices * Libraries * Schools * Banks * Parts of Palm Beach and the mind of Se

The only problem with seeing too much is that it makes you insane.

A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats.

Piece of cake!

"If once a man indulges himself in murder, very soon he comes to think little of robbing; and from robbing he next comes to drinking and Sabbath-breaking, and from that to incivility and procrastination."

It is only the man whose intellect is clouded by his sexual impulse that could give the name of the fair sex to that undersized, narrow-shouldered, broad-hipped, and short-legged race.

Nasrudin returned to his village from the imperial capital, and the villagers gathered around to hear what had passed. "At this time," said Nasrudin, "I only want to say that the King spoke to me." All the villagers but the stupidest ran off to spr

She hates testicles, thus limiting the men she can admire to Democratic candidates for president.

Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong.

Ours is a world of nuclear giants and ethical infants.

Keep cool, but don't freeze.

A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic.

One of my less pleasant chores when I was young was to read the Bible from one end to the other. Reading the Bible straight through is at least 70 percent discipline, like learning Latin. But the good parts are, of course, simply amazing. God is a

Diplomacy is to do and say, the nastiest thing in the nicest way.

The only winner in the War of 1812 was Tchaikovsky.

The difference between a misfortune and a calamity? If Gladstone fell into the Thames, it would be a misfortune. But if someone dragged him out again, it would be a calamity.

If your happiness depends on what somebody else does, I guess you do have a problem.

The Bible is not my Book and Christianity is not my religion. I could never give assent to the long complicated statements of Christian dogma.

I'll burn my books.

Better late than never.

Once I belonged to a group that really had THE WORD. I fought like hell for them. But another group came along and exposed the word of my group as shallow and degenerate. They had a better word. So I quit the first group and lost all the friends

You should never wear your best trousers when you go out to fight for freedom and liberty.

For the fashion of Minas Tirith was such that it was built on seven levels, each delved into a hill, and about each was set a wall, and in each wall was a gate.

A highly intelligent man should take a primitive woman. Imagine if on top of everything else, I had a woman who interfered with my work.

Adde parvum parvo manus acervus erit. [Add little to little and there will be a big pile.]

Four fifths of the perjury in the world is expended on tombstones, women and competitors.

The road to ruin is always in good repair, and the travellers pay the expense of it.

Many of the characters are fools and they are always playing tricks on me and treating me badly.

Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact.

There are three infallible ways of pleasing an author, and the three form a rising scale of compliment: 1, to tell him you have read one of his books; 2, to tell him you have read all of his books; 3, to ask him to let you read the manuscript of his

A dream will always triumph over reality, once it is given the chance.

Sorry 'bout that sweat, honey. That's just holy water.

He who knows, does not speak. He who speaks, does not know.

If you don't strike oil in twenty minutes, stop boring.

Cautious, careful people always casting about to preserve their reputation or social standards never can bring about reform. Those who are totally in earnest are willing to be anything or nothing in the world's estimation, and publicly and privately

Plumbing is one of the easier of do-it-yourself activities, requiring only a few simple tools and a willingness to stick your arm into a clogged toilet. In fact, you can solve many home plumbing problems, such as annoying faucet drip, merely by tur

Never buy from a rich salesman.

America ... just a nation of two hundred million used car salesman with all the money we need to buy guns and no qualms about killing anybody else in the world who tries to make us uncomfortable.

If we see the light at the end of the tunnel, it's the light of an oncoming train.

You men out there probably think you already know how to dress for success. You know, for example, that you should not wear leisure suits or white plastic belts and shoes, unless you are going to a costume party disguised as a pig farmer vacationing

Rascal, am I? Take THAT!

There's no such thing as a free lunch.

A strong conviction that something must be done is the parent of many bad measures.

Every person, all the events in your life are there because you have drawn them there. What you choose to do with them is up to you.

Let sleeping dogs lie.

If while you are in school, there is a shortage of qualified personnel in a particular field, then by the time you graduate with the necessary qualifications, that field's employment market is glutted.

As long as I am mayor of this city [Jersey City, New Jersey] the great industries are secure. We hear about constitutional rights, free speech and the free press. Every time I hear these words I say to myself, "That man is a Red, that man is a Comm

Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely.

Nobody ever forgets where he buried the hatchet.

The farther you go, the less you know.

A man's house is his castle.

Man's unique agony as a species consists in his perpetual conflict between the desire to stand out and the need to blend in.

There is a certain frame of mind to which a cemetery is, if not an antidote, at least an alleviation. If you are in a fit of the blues, go nowhere else.

Moneyliness is next to Godliness.

Dorothy: But how can you talk without a brain? Scarecrow: Well, I don't know... but some people without brains do an awful lot of talking.

"Well, it's garish, ugly, and derelicts have used it for a toilet. The rides are dilapidated to the point of being lethal, and could easily maim or kill innocent little children." "Oh, so you don't like it?" "Don't like it? I'm CRAZY for it."

We should have a Vollyballocracy. We elect a six-pack of presidents. Each one serves until they screw up, at which point they rotate.

Only that in you which is me can hear what I'm saying.

You can't depend on the man who made the mess to clean it up.

An ambassador is an honest man sent abroad to lie and intrigue for the benefit of his country.

Patch griefs with proverbs.

We only acknowledge small faults in order to make it appear that we are free from great ones.

Speak softly and own a big, mean Doberman.

It is better to live rich than to die rich.

O, it is excellent To have a giant's strength; but it is tyrannous To use it like a giant.

This generation doesn't have emotional baggage. We have emotional moving vans.

Hindsight is always 20:20.

Prediction is very difficult, especially of the future.

Where you stand depends on where you sit.

Here I am, fifty-eight, and I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up.

About the time we think we can make ends meet, somebody moves the ends.

For years a secret shame destroyed my peace

From a certain point onward there is no longer any turning back. That is the point that must be reached.

Pity the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.

I always pass on good advice. It is the only thing to do with it. It is never any good to oneself.

Politicians speak for their parties, and parties never are, never have been, and never will be wrong.

God is Dead.

The Soviet Union, which has complained recently about alleged anti-Soviet themes in American advertising, lodged an official protest this week against the Ford Motor Company's new campaign: "Hey you stinking, fat Russian, get off my Ford Escort."

"Hi, I'm Preston A. Mantis, president of Consumers Retail Law Outlet. As you can see by my suit and the fact that I have all these books of equal height on the shelves behind me, I am a trained legal attorney. Do you have a car or a job? Do you ever

There's nothing in the middle of the road but yellow stripes and dead armadillos.

Success is relative: It is what we can make of the mess we have made of things.

You can bear anything if it isn't your own fault.

If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library?

The only "ism" Hollywood believes in is plagiarism.

Time is but the stream I go a-fishing in.

He hath eaten me out of house and home.

Too often I find that the volume of paper expands to fill the available briefcases.

Only those who leisurely approach that which the masses are busy about can be busy about that which the masses take leisurely.

I often quote myself; it adds spice to my conversation.

No matter whether th' constitution follows th' flag or not, th' supreme court follows th' iliction returns.

Why my thoughts are my own, when they are in, but when they are out they are another's.

The bay-trees in our country are all wither'd And meteors fright the fixed stars of heaven; The pale-faced moon looks bloody on the earth And lean-look'd prophets whisper fearful change. These signs forerun the death or fall of kings.

Zounds! I was never so bethumped with words since I first called my brother's father dad.

Darth Vader! Only you would be so bold!

If the English language made any sense, lackadaisical would have something to do with a shortage of flowers.

It was the next morning that the armies of Twodor marched east laden with long lances, sharp swords, and death-dealing hangovers. The thousands were led by Arrowroot, who sat limply in his sidesaddle, nursing a whopper. Goodgulf, Gimlet, and the r

Brahma said: Well, after hearing ten thousand explanations, a fool is no wiser. But an intelligent man needs only two thousand five hundred.

The human instinct to censor thrives, as it always will, living in irrepressible conflict with the human instinct to speak. Outrage, self-righteousness, and paranoia feed the maw of censorship. Squelching speech, however, never reduces society's net

The reasons that each of these countries has had to renege on its financial committments were all somewhat different: Argentina because of a war, Poland because of its vast misguided overinvestment in heavy industry, Honduras because the coffee price

Don't buy a landslide. I don't want to have to pay for one more vote than I have to.

We're living in a golden age. All you need is gold.

Politics is not the art of the possible. It consists in choosing between the disastrous and the unpalatable.

The Angels want to wear my red shoes.

Confess your sins to the Lord and you will be forgiven; confess them to man and you will be laughed at.

Take care of the luxuries and the necessities will take care of themselves.

To err is human, to repent, divine, to persist, devilish.

I am looking for a honest man.

An aphorism is never exactly true; it is either a half-truth or one-and-a-half truths.

Termiter's argument that God is His own grandmother generated a surprising amount of controversy among Church leaders, who on the one hand considered the argument unsupported by scripture but on the other hand were unwilling to risk offending God's g

If a guru falls in the forest with no one to hear him, was he really a guru at all?

Have no friends not equal to yourself.

We all live in a state of ambitious poverty.

Visits always give pleasure: if not on arrival, then on the departure.

"Richard, in being so fierce toward my vampire, you were doing what you wanted to do, even though you thought it was going to hurt somebody else. He even told you he'd be hurt if..." "He was going to suck my blood!" "Which is what we do to anyone

Dishonor will not trouble me, once I am dead.

Fourteen years in the professor dodge has taught me that one can argue ingeniously on behalf of any theory, applied to any piece of literature. This is rarely harmful, because normally no-one reads such essays.

Knowledge is power.

Aim for the moon. If you miss, you may hit a star.

Indiana is a state dedicated to basketball. Basketball, soybeans, hogs and basketball. Berkeley, needless to say, is not nearly as athletic. Berkeley is dedicated to coffee, angst, potholes and coffee.

To stay young requires unceasing cultivation of the ability to unlearn old falsehoods.

What we do not understand we do not possess.

If we can ever make red tape nutritional, we can feed the world.

A is for Apple.

Usually, when a lot of men get together, it's called a war.

Love thy neighbor as thyself, but choose your neighborhood.

When a man you like switches from what he said a year ago, or four years ago, he is a broad-minded man who has courage enough to change his mind with changing conditions. When a man you don't like does it, he is a liar who has broken his promises.

I don't mind arguing with myself. It's when I lose that it bothers me.

There must be more to life than having everything.

You have all eternity to be cautious in when you're dead.

Modesty is a vastly overrated virtue.

I've found my niche. If you're wondering why I'm not there, there was this little hole in the bottom ...

Even the clearest and most perfect circumstantial evidence is likely to be at fault, after all, and therefore ought to be received with great caution. Take the case of any pencil, sharpened by any woman; if you have witnesses, you will find she did

If you lived today as if it were your last, you'd buy up a box of rockets and fire them all off, wouldn't you?

The two most beautiful words in the English language are "Cheque Enclosed."

The marriage of Marxism and feminism has been like the marriage of husband and wife depicted in English common law: Marxism and feminism are one, and that one is marxism.

Jesus may love you, but I think you're garbage wrapped in skin.

The greatest dangers to liberty lurk in insidious encroachment by men of zeal, well-meaning but without understanding.

The Least Successful Executions History has furnished us with two executioners worthy of attention. The first performed in Sydney in Australia. In 1803 three attempts were made to hang a Mr. Joseph Samuels. On the first two of these the rope snap

Democracy is a form of government in which it is permitted to wonder aloud what the country could do under first-class management.

Excellence is THE trend of the '80s. Walk into any shopping mall bookstore, go to the rack where they keep the best-sellers such as "Garfield Gets Spayed", and you'll see a half-dozen books telling you how to be excellent: "In Search of Excellence"

It's odd, and a little unsettling, to reflect upon the fact that English is the only major language in which "I" is capitalized; in many other languages "You" is capitalized and the "i" is lower case.

If God is One, what is bad?

Feminists say 60 percent of the country's wealth is in the hands of women. They're letting men hold the other 40 percent because their handbags are full.

Hating the Yankees is as American as pizza pie, unwed mothers and cheating on your income tax.

People say I live in my own little fantasy world... well, at least they *know* me there!

Lookie, lookie, here comes cookie...

Repartee is something we think of twenty-four hours too late.

It has long been noticed that juries are pitiless for robbery and full of indulgence for infanticide. A question of interest, my dear Sir! The jury is afraid of being robbed and has passed the age when it could be a victim of infanticide.

I am not now and never have been a girl friend of Henry Kissinger.

Imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality.

"There was an interesting development in the CBS-Westmoreland trial: both sides agreed that after the trial, Andy Rooney would be allowed to talk to the jury for three minutes about little things that annoyed him during the trial."

If the path be beautiful, let us not ask where it leads.

He was a fiddler, and consequently a rogue.

"Not Hercules could have knock'd out his brains, for he had none."

Diplomacy is about surviving until the next century. Politics is about surviving until Friday afternoon.

A copy of the universe is not what is required of art; one of the damned things is ample.

Home life as we understand it is no more natural to us than a cage is to a cockatoo.

Blessed are the forgetful: for they get the better even of their blunders.

Laws are like sausages. It's better not to see them being made.

America is a large, friendly dog in a very small room. Every time it wags its tail, it knocks over a chair.

It is either through the influence of narcotic potions, of which all primitive peoples and races speak in hymns, or through the powerful approach of spring, penetrating with joy all of nature, that those Dionysian stirrings arise, which in their int

Yesterday I was a dog. Today I'm a dog. Tomorrow I'll probably still be a dog. Sigh! There's so little hope for advancement.

Rembrandt is not to be compared in the painting of character with our extraordinarily gifted English artist, Mr. Rippingille.

It was a female that drove me to drink and I didn't even have the kindness to thank her.

Execute every act of thy life as though it were thy last.

They also serve who only stand and wait.

It is only the great men who are truly obscene. If they had not dared to be obscene, they could never have dared to be great.

I heard a definition of an intellectual, that I thought was very interesting: a man who takes more words than are necessary to tell more than he knows.

Another day, another dollar.

Airplanes are interesting toys but of no military value.

Of all men's miseries, the bitterest is this: to know so much and have control over nothing.

"Given the choice between accomplishing something and just lying around, I'd rather lie around. No contest."

Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel.

Try not to have a good time ... This is supposed to be educational.

The more I want to get something done, the less I call it work.

The superior man understands what is right; the inferior man understands what will sell.

One man's brain plus one other will produce one half as many ideas as one man would have produced alone. These two plus two more will produce half again as many ideas. These four plus four more begin to represent a creative meeting, and the ratio c

Al Gore resembled a Vulcan desperately in need of a blow job.

"I have to convince you, or at least snow you ..."

I love mankind ... It's people I hate.

Home is the place where, when you have to go there, they have to take you in.

You climb to reach the summit, but once there, discover that all roads lead down.

The eye is a menace to clear sight, the ear is a menace to subtle hearing, the mind is a menace to wisdom, every organ of the senses is a menace to its own capacity. ... Fuss, the god of the Southern Ocean, and Fret, the god of the Northern Ocean, h

By protracting life, we do not deduct one jot from the duration of death.

I would like the government to do all it can to mitigate, then, in understanding, in mutuality of interest, in concern for the common good, our tasks will be solved.

Small is beautiful.

The greatest productive force is human selfishness.

When neither their poverty nor their honor is touched, the majority of men live content.

I didn't believe in reincarnation in any of my other lives. I don't see why I should have to believe in it in this one.

One big pile is better than two little piles.

"Beware of the man who works hard to learn something, learns it, and finds himself no wiser than before," Bokonon tells us. "He is full of murderous resentment of people who are ignorant without having come by their ignorance the hard way."

What good is it if you talk in flowers, and they think in pastry?

Go not to the elves for counsel, for they will say both yes and no.

After the ground war began, captured Iraqi soldiers said any of them caught by superiors wearing a white T-shirt would be executed because of the ease with which the shirts could be used as surrender flags. Some Iraqi soldiers carried bleach with th

Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamp-post how it feels about dogs.

October. This is one of the peculiarly dangerous months to speculate in stocks in. The others are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, December, August, and February.

Even God cannot change the past.

Men ought to know that from the brain and from the brain only arise our pleasures, joys, laughter, and jests as well as our sorrows, pains, griefs and tears. ... It is the same thing which makes us mad or delirious, inspires us with dread and fear,

"We're not talking about the same thing," he said. "For you the world is weird because if you're not bored with it you're at odds with it. For me the world is weird because it is stupendous, awesome, mysterious, unfathomable; my interest has been to

"We should declare war on North Vietnam. We could pave the whole country and put parking strips on it, and still be home by Christmas."

It is the quality rather than the quantity that matters.

The human brain is a wonderful thing. It starts working the moment you are born, and never stops until you stand up to speak in public.

The white race is the cancer of history.

We have gone on piling weapon upon weapon, missile upon missile, new levels of destructiveness upon old ones. We have done this helplessly, almost involuntarily: like the victims of some sort of hypnotism, like men in a dream, like lemmings heading

The possession of a book becomes a substitute for reading it.

I'm going to Vietnam at the request of the White House. President Johnson says a war isn't really a war without my jokes.

Odets, where is thy sting?

A public debt is a kind of anchor in the storm; but if the anchor be too heavy for the vessel, she will be sunk by that very weight which was intended for her preservation.

A decade after Vietnam, we still cannot understand why "their" Salvadorans fight better than "our" Salvadorans. It is not a matter of their training or their equipment. It has to do with the quality of the society we are asking them to risk death d

What excuses stand in your way? How can you eliminate them?

The universe is made of stories, not of atoms.

The heroic hours of life do not announce their presence by drum and trumpet, challenging us to be true to ourselves by appeals to the martial spirit that keeps the blood at heat. Some little, unassuming, unobtrusive choice presents itself before us

My religion consists of a humble admiration of the illimitable superior spirit who reveals himself in the slight details we are able to perceive with our frail and feeble mind.

If fifty million people say a foolish thing, it's still a foolish thing.

Great acts are made up of small deeds.

Where it is a duty to worship the sun it is pretty sure to be a crime to examine the laws of heat.

If Presidents don't do it to their wives, they do it to the country.

If you live long enough, you'll see that every victory turns into a defeat.

Whatever occurs from love is always beyond good and evil.

Immature poets imitate, mature poets steal.

Most people deserve each other.

Crucifixes are sexy because there's a naked man on them.

The propriety of some persons seems to consist in having improper thoughts about their neighbours.

If it doesn't smell yet, it's pretty fresh.

No man would listen to you talk if he didn't know it was his turn next.

Example is not the main thing in influencing others. It is the only thing.

"MOKE DAT YIGARETTE"

Good judgement comes from experience. Experience comes from bad judgement.

"Spare no expense to save money on this one."

"I don't care who does the electing as long as I get to do the nominating."

Very few things happen at the right time, and the rest do not happen at all. The conscientious historian will correct these defects.

"Life is too important to take seriously."

The Public is merely a multiplied "me."

If there were a school for, say, sheet metal workers, that after three years left its graduates as unprepared for their careers as does law school, it would be closed down in a minute, and no doubt by lawyers.

I guess I've been wrong all my life, but so have billions of other people... Certainty is just an emotion.

Whatever is not nailed down is mine. Whatever I can pry up is not nailed down.

I would have promised those terrorists a trip to Disneyland if it would have gotten the hostages released. I thank God they were satisfied with the missiles and we didn't have to go to that extreme.

THE MX IS GOOD FOR THE ECONOMY. One important reason we have a Defense Department is that when we give it money, it spends it, which creates jobs, whereas if we left the money in the hands of civilians, we don't know what they'd do with it. Probabl

He that teaches himself has a fool for a master.

There are no answers, only cross-references.

Hate the sin and love the sinner.

No one knows what he can do till he tries.

Nothing recedes like success.

When a place gets crowded enough to require ID's, social collapse is not far away. It is time to go elsewhere. The best thing about space travel is that it made it possible to go elsewhere.

The means-and-ends moralists, or non-doers, always end up on their ends without any means.

Work is the crab grass in the lawn of life.

The shifts of Fortune test the reliability of friends.

When I have one foot in the grave I will tell the truth about women. I shall tell it, jump into my coffin, pull the lid over me, and say, "Do what you like now."

It is convenient that there be gods, and, as it is convenient, let us believe there are.

Lord, defend me from my friends; I can account for my enemies.

Nothing is illegal if one hundred businessmen decide to do it.

If one tells the truth, one is sure, sooner or later, to be found out.

Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid.

The graveyards are full of indispensable men.

Sensible and responsible women do not want to vote.

A Tale of Two Cities LITE(tm)

The 'A' is for content, the 'minus' is for not typing it. Don't ever do this to my eyes again.

Good government never depends upon laws, but upon the personal qualities of those who govern. The machinery of government is always subordinate to the will of those who administer that machinery. The most important element of government, therefore,

Several years ago, some smart businessmen had an idea: Why not build a big store where a do-it-yourselfer could get everything he needed at reasonable prices? Then they decided, nah, the hell with that, let's build a home center. And before long ho

If clear thinking created sparks, we could safely store dynamite in James Watt's office.

A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.

There is no comfort without pain; thus we define salvation through suffering.

Vote early and vote often.

Fraud is the homage that force pays to reason.

"Earth is a great, big funhouse without the fun."

Lassie looked brilliant, in part because the farm family she lived with was made up of idiots. Remember? One of them was always getting pinned under the tractor, and Lassie was always rushing back to the farmhouse to alert the other ones. She'd w

You just wait, I'll sin till I blow up!

If we could sell our experiences for what they cost us, we would all be millionaires.

What, after all, is a halo? It's only one more thing to keep clean.

To accuse others for one's own misfortunes is a sign of want of education. To accuse oneself shows that one's education has begun. To accuse neither oneself nor others shows that one's education is complete.

Innovation is hard to schedule.

We can embody the truth, but we cannot know it.

There is always something new out of Africa.

I remember when legal used to mean lawful, now it means some kind of loophole.

Law stands mute in the midst of arms.

I acted to show my love for Jodie Foster.

The trouble with superheros is what to do between phone booths.

Shall we make a new rule of life from tonight: always to try to be a little kinder than is necessary?

Unknown person(s) stole the American flag from its pole in Etra Park sometime between 3pm Jan 17 and 11:30 am Jan 20. The flag is described as red, white and blue, having 50 stars and was valued at $40.

I go on working for the same reason a hen goes on laying eggs.

Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing.

In "King Henry VI, Part II," Shakespeare has Dick Butcher suggest to his fellow anti-establishment rabble-rousers, "The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers." That action may be extreme but a similar sentiment was expressed by Thomas K. Co

Never let your sense of morals prevent you from doing what is right.

Competitive fury is not always anger. It is the true missionary's courage and zeal in facing the possibility that one's best may not be enough.

If you think the United States has stood still, who built the largest shopping center in the world?

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

I never deny, I never contradict. I sometimes forget.

Take your work seriously but never take yourself seriously; and do not take what happens either to yourself or your work seriously.

Confession is good for the soul only in the sense that a tweed coat is good for dandruff.

There is no cure for birth and death other than to enjoy the interval.

I do not patronize poor, ill educated, or disenfranchised people by exempting them from the same critical examination I feel free to direct toward the rest of society, however much I might champion the same minority or disadvantaged group in the foru

The law will never make men free; it is men who have got to make the law free.

A critic is a bundle of biases held loosely together by a sense of taste.

'Martyrdom' is the only way a person can become famous without ability.

Philosophy will clip an angel's wings.

Walking on water wasn't built in a day.

The major advances in civilization are processes that all but wreck the societies in which they occur.

Practical people would be more practical if they would take a little more time for dreaming.

However, never daunted, I will cope with adversity in my traditional manner ... sulking and nausea.

You'd better smile when they watch you, smile like you're in control.

I would have made a good pope.

If there were a school for, say, sheet metal workers, that after three years left its graduates as unprepared for their careers as does law school, it would be closed down in a minute, and no doubt by lawyers.

Water, taken in moderation cannot hurt anybody.

She applies her lipstick in spite of its contents: "greasy rouge, containing crushed and dried insect corpses for coloring, beeswax for stiffness, and olive oil to help it flow - the latter having the unfortunate tendency to go rancid several hours a