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Capitalism is the extraordinary belief that the nastiest of men, for the nastiest of reasons, will somehow work for the benefit of us all.

B Marion Zimmer

A man said to the Universe: "Sir, I exist!" "However," replied the Universe, "the fact has not created in me a sense of obligation."

Ba Dave

Kindness is a language which the deaf can hear and the blind can read.

Baber R.E.

The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently.

Babson Roger

There are no manifestos like cannon and musketry.

Bacall Lauren

For every credibility gap, there is a gullibility fill.

Bach J.S.

What good is an obscenity trial except to popularize literature?

Bach Richard

"Here's the holiday schedule for Monday's observation of Martin Luther King Jr.'s birthday, when the following will be closed: * Governmental offices * Post offices * Libraries * Schools * Banks * Parts of Palm Beach and the mind of Se

Bacharach Burt

The only problem with seeing too much is that it makes you insane.

Bacon Francis

A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats.

Bacon Francis

Piece of cake!

Bacon Francis

"If once a man indulges himself in murder, very soon he comes to think little of robbing; and from robbing he next comes to drinking and Sabbath-breaking, and from that to incivility and procrastination."

Bacon Francis

It is only the man whose intellect is clouded by his sexual impulse that could give the name of the fair sex to that undersized, narrow-shouldered, broad-hipped, and short-legged race.

Bacon Francis

Nasrudin returned to his village from the imperial capital, and the villagers gathered around to hear what had passed. "At this time," said Nasrudin, "I only want to say that the King spoke to me." All the villagers but the stupidest ran off to spr

Bacon Francis

She hates testicles, thus limiting the men she can admire to Democratic candidates for president.

Bacon Francis

Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong.

Bacon Francis

Ours is a world of nuclear giants and ethical infants.

Bailey P.J.

Keep cool, but don't freeze.

Baja Dan Jenkins

A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic.

Baker Russell

One of my less pleasant chores when I was young was to read the Bible from one end to the other. Reading the Bible straight through is at least 70 percent discipline, like learning Latin. But the good parts are, of course, simply amazing. God is a

Baker Russell

Diplomacy is to do and say, the nastiest thing in the nicest way.

Baker Russell

The only winner in the War of 1812 was Tchaikovsky.

Baker Russell

The difference between a misfortune and a calamity? If Gladstone fell into the Thames, it would be a misfortune. But if someone dragged him out again, it would be a calamity.

Baldwin James

If your happiness depends on what somebody else does, I guess you do have a problem.

Baldwin Stanley

The Bible is not my Book and Christianity is not my religion. I could never give assent to the long complicated statements of Christian dogma.


I'll burn my books.

Balfour Arthur

Better late than never.

Balliett Whitney

Once I belonged to a group that really had THE WORD. I fought like hell for them. But another group came along and exposed the word of my group as shallow and degenerate. They had a better word. So I quit the first group and lost all the friends

Ballou Hosea

You should never wear your best trousers when you go out to fight for freedom and liberty.


For the fashion of Minas Tirith was such that it was built on seven levels, each delved into a hill, and about each was set a wall, and in each wall was a gate.

Balzac Honor'e de

A highly intelligent man should take a primitive woman. Imagine if on top of everything else, I had a woman who interfered with my work.

Bandits Time

Adde parvum parvo manus acervus erit. [Add little to little and there will be a big pile.]

Bankhead Tallulah

Four fifths of the perjury in the world is expended on tombstones, women and competitors.

Banks Russell

The road to ruin is always in good repair, and the travellers pay the expense of it.

Banzai Buckaroo

Many of the characters are fools and they are always playing tricks on me and treating me badly.

Barber Milt

Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact.


There are three infallible ways of pleasing an author, and the three form a rising scale of compliment: 1, to tell him you have read one of his books; 2, to tell him you have read all of his books; 3, to ask him to let you read the manuscript of his

Barf Biff

A dream will always triumph over reality, once it is given the chance.

Barker Clive

Sorry 'bout that sweat, honey. That's just holy water.

Barrie J.M.

He who knows, does not speak. He who speaks, does not know.

Barris Chuck

If you don't strike oil in twenty minutes, stop boring.

Barry Dave

Cautious, careful people always casting about to preserve their reputation or social standards never can bring about reform. Those who are totally in earnest are willing to be anything or nothing in the world's estimation, and publicly and privately

Barry Dave

Plumbing is one of the easier of do-it-yourself activities, requiring only a few simple tools and a willingness to stick your arm into a clogged toilet. In fact, you can solve many home plumbing problems, such as annoying faucet drip, merely by tur

Barry Dave

Never buy from a rich salesman.

Barry Dave

America ... just a nation of two hundred million used car salesman with all the money we need to buy guns and no qualms about killing anybody else in the world who tries to make us uncomfortable.

Barry Dave

If we see the light at the end of the tunnel, it's the light of an oncoming train.

Barry Dave

You men out there probably think you already know how to dress for success. You know, for example, that you should not wear leisure suits or white plastic belts and shoes, unless you are going to a costume party disguised as a pig farmer vacationing

Barry Dave

Rascal, am I? Take THAT!

Barry Dave

There's no such thing as a free lunch.

Barry Dave

A strong conviction that something must be done is the parent of many bad measures.

Barry Dave

Every person, all the events in your life are there because you have drawn them there. What you choose to do with them is up to you.

Barry Dave

Let sleeping dogs lie.

Barry Dave

If while you are in school, there is a shortage of qualified personnel in a particular field, then by the time you graduate with the necessary qualifications, that field's employment market is glutted.

Barry Dave

As long as I am mayor of this city [Jersey City, New Jersey] the great industries are secure. We hear about constitutional rights, free speech and the free press. Every time I hear these words I say to myself, "That man is a Red, that man is a Comm

Barry Dave

Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely.

Barry Dave

Nobody ever forgets where he buried the hatchet.

Barry Dave

The farther you go, the less you know.

Barry Dave

A man's house is his castle.

Barry Dave

Man's unique agony as a species consists in his perpetual conflict between the desire to stand out and the need to blend in.

Barry Dave

There is a certain frame of mind to which a cemetery is, if not an antidote, at least an alleviation. If you are in a fit of the blues, go nowhere else.

Barry Dave

Moneyliness is next to Godliness.

Barry Dave

Dorothy: But how can you talk without a brain? Scarecrow: Well, I don't know... but some people without brains do an awful lot of talking.

Barry Dave

"Well, it's garish, ugly, and derelicts have used it for a toilet. The rides are dilapidated to the point of being lethal, and could easily maim or kill innocent little children." "Oh, so you don't like it?" "Don't like it? I'm CRAZY for it."

Barry Dave

We should have a Vollyballocracy. We elect a six-pack of presidents. Each one serves until they screw up, at which point they rotate.

Barry Dave

Only that in you which is me can hear what I'm saying.

Barry Dave

You can't depend on the man who made the mess to clean it up.

Barry Dave

An ambassador is an honest man sent abroad to lie and intrigue for the benefit of his country.

Barry Dave

Patch griefs with proverbs.

Barry Dave

We only acknowledge small faults in order to make it appear that we are free from great ones.

Barry Dave

Speak softly and own a big, mean Doberman.

Barry Dave

It is better to live rich than to die rich.

Barry Dave

O, it is excellent To have a giant's strength; but it is tyrannous To use it like a giant.

Barry Dave

This generation doesn't have emotional baggage. We have emotional moving vans.

Barry Dave

Hindsight is always 20:20.

Barry Dave

Prediction is very difficult, especially of the future.

Barry Dave

Where you stand depends on where you sit.

Barry Dave

Here I am, fifty-eight, and I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up.

Barry Dave

About the time we think we can make ends meet, somebody moves the ends.

Barry Dave

For years a secret shame destroyed my peace

Barry Dave

From a certain point onward there is no longer any turning back. That is the point that must be reached.

Barry Dave

Pity the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.

Barry Dave

I always pass on good advice. It is the only thing to do with it. It is never any good to oneself.

Barry Dave

Politicians speak for their parties, and parties never are, never have been, and never will be wrong.

Barry Dave

God is Dead.

Barry Dave

The Soviet Union, which has complained recently about alleged anti-Soviet themes in American advertising, lodged an official protest this week against the Ford Motor Company's new campaign: "Hey you stinking, fat Russian, get off my Ford Escort."

Barry Dave

"Hi, I'm Preston A. Mantis, president of Consumers Retail Law Outlet. As you can see by my suit and the fact that I have all these books of equal height on the shelves behind me, I am a trained legal attorney. Do you have a car or a job? Do you ever

Barry Dave

There's nothing in the middle of the road but yellow stripes and dead armadillos.

Barry Dave

Success is relative: It is what we can make of the mess we have made of things.

Barry Dave

You can bear anything if it isn't your own fault.

Barry Dave

If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library?

Baruch B.

The only "ism" Hollywood believes in is plagiarism.

Battie Bill

Time is but the stream I go a-fishing in.

Baudelaire Charles

He hath eaten me out of house and home.

Beal Louise

Too often I find that the volume of paper expands to fill the available briefcases.

Bear Greg

Only those who leisurely approach that which the masses are busy about can be busy about that which the masses take leisurely.

Beard Charles A.

I often quote myself; it adds spice to my conversation.

Beard Peter

No matter whether th' constitution follows th' flag or not, th' supreme court follows th' iliction returns.

Beaton Cecil

Why my thoughts are my own, when they are in, but when they are out they are another's.

Beatty Paul

The bay-trees in our country are all wither'd And meteors fright the fixed stars of heaven; The pale-faced moon looks bloody on the earth And lean-look'd prophets whisper fearful change. These signs forerun the death or fall of kings.

Beauvoir Simone de

Zounds! I was never so bethumped with words since I first called my brother's father dad.

Beck Bob

Darth Vader! Only you would be so bold!

Becke Samuel

If the English language made any sense, lackadaisical would have something to do with a shortage of flowers.


It was the next morning that the armies of Twodor marched east laden with long lances, sharp swords, and death-dealing hangovers. The thousands were led by Arrowroot, who sat limply in his sidesaddle, nursing a whopper. Goodgulf, Gimlet, and the r

Beckett Samuel

Brahma said: Well, after hearing ten thousand explanations, a fool is no wiser. But an intelligent man needs only two thousand five hundred.

Beckett Samuel

The human instinct to censor thrives, as it always will, living in irrepressible conflict with the human instinct to speak. Outrage, self-righteousness, and paranoia feed the maw of censorship. Squelching speech, however, never reduces society's net

Beckett Samuel

The reasons that each of these countries has had to renege on its financial committments were all somewhat different: Argentina because of a war, Poland because of its vast misguided overinvestment in heavy industry, Honduras because the coffee price

Beckman Roman

Don't buy a landslide. I don't want to have to pay for one more vote than I have to.

Beeblebrox Zaphod

We're living in a golden age. All you need is gold.

Beecher Rev. Henry Ward

Politics is not the art of the possible. It consists in choosing between the disastrous and the unpalatable.

Beer Stafford

The Angels want to wear my red shoes.

Behan Brendan

Confess your sins to the Lord and you will be forgiven; confess them to man and you will be laughed at.

Behan Brendan

Take care of the luxuries and the necessities will take care of themselves.

Behan Brendan

To err is human, to repent, divine, to persist, devilish.

Behan Brendan

I am looking for a honest man.

Belloc Hilaire

An aphorism is never exactly true; it is either a half-truth or one-and-a-half truths.

Bellow Saul

Termiter's argument that God is His own grandmother generated a surprising amount of controversy among Church leaders, who on the one hand considered the argument unsupported by scripture but on the other hand were unwilling to risk offending God's g

Ben Franklin

If a guru falls in the forest with no one to hear him, was he really a guru at all?

Benares Camden

Have no friends not equal to yourself.

Benares Camden

We all live in a state of ambitious poverty.

Benchley Robert

Visits always give pleasure: if not on arrival, then on the departure.

Benchley Robert

"Richard, in being so fierce toward my vampire, you were doing what you wanted to do, even though you thought it was going to hurt somebody else. He even told you he'd be hurt if..." "He was going to suck my blood!" "Which is what we do to anyone

Benchley Robert

Dishonor will not trouble me, once I am dead.

Benchley Robert

Fourteen years in the professor dodge has taught me that one can argue ingeniously on behalf of any theory, applied to any piece of literature. This is rarely harmful, because normally no-one reads such essays.


Knowledge is power.

Benjamin A.

Aim for the moon. If you miss, you may hit a star.

Bennett Alan

Indiana is a state dedicated to basketball. Basketball, soybeans, hogs and basketball. Berkeley, needless to say, is not nearly as athletic. Berkeley is dedicated to coffee, angst, potholes and coffee.

Bennett Arnold

To stay young requires unceasing cultivation of the ability to unlearn old falsehoods.

Bennett D.

What we do not understand we do not possess.

Bennett James Gordon

If we can ever make red tape nutritional, we can feed the world.

Bennett W.C.

A is for Apple.

Bennett W.C.

Usually, when a lot of men get together, it's called a war.

Bergen Candice

Love thy neighbor as thyself, but choose your neighborhood.

Berle Milton

When a man you like switches from what he said a year ago, or four years ago, he is a broad-minded man who has courage enough to change his mind with changing conditions. When a man you don't like does it, he is a liar who has broken his promises.

Berlioz Hector

I don't mind arguing with myself. It's when I lose that it bothers me.

Berman Edgar

There must be more to life than having everything.

Bernanos Georges

You have all eternity to be cautious in when you're dead.

Berner Jeff

Modesty is a vastly overrated virtue.

Berquier Edouard

I've found my niche. If you're wondering why I'm not there, there was this little hole in the bottom ...

Berra Yogi

Even the clearest and most perfect circumstantial evidence is likely to be at fault, after all, and therefore ought to be received with great caution. Take the case of any pencil, sharpened by any woman; if you have witnesses, you will find she did

Berra Yogi

If you lived today as if it were your last, you'd buy up a box of rockets and fire them all off, wouldn't you?

Berryman John

The two most beautiful words in the English language are "Cheque Enclosed."

Biel Gabriel

The marriage of Marxism and feminism has been like the marriage of husband and wife depicted in English common law: Marxism and feminism are one, and that one is marxism.

Bierce Ambrose

Jesus may love you, but I think you're garbage wrapped in skin.

Bierce Ambrose

The greatest dangers to liberty lurk in insidious encroachment by men of zeal, well-meaning but without understanding.

Bierce Ambrose

The Least Successful Executions History has furnished us with two executioners worthy of attention. The first performed in Sydney in Australia. In 1803 three attempts were made to hang a Mr. Joseph Samuels. On the first two of these the rope snap

Bierce Ambrose

Democracy is a form of government in which it is permitted to wonder aloud what the country could do under first-class management.

Bierce Ambrose

Excellence is THE trend of the '80s. Walk into any shopping mall bookstore, go to the rack where they keep the best-sellers such as "Garfield Gets Spayed", and you'll see a half-dozen books telling you how to be excellent: "In Search of Excellence"

Bierce Ambrose

It's odd, and a little unsettling, to reflect upon the fact that English is the only major language in which "I" is capitalized; in many other languages "You" is capitalized and the "i" is lower case.

Bierce Ambrose

If God is One, what is bad?

Bierce Ambrose

Feminists say 60 percent of the country's wealth is in the hands of women. They're letting men hold the other 40 percent because their handbags are full.

Bierce Ambrose

Hating the Yankees is as American as pizza pie, unwed mothers and cheating on your income tax.

Bierce Ambrose

People say I live in my own little fantasy world... well, at least they *know* me there!

Bilbo Baggins

Lookie, lookie, here comes cookie...

Bill Adler

Repartee is something we think of twenty-four hours too late.

Bill Cain

It has long been noticed that juries are pitiless for robbery and full of indulgence for infanticide. A question of interest, my dear Sir! The jury is afraid of being robbed and has passed the age when it could be a victim of infanticide.

Bill Cain

I am not now and never have been a girl friend of Henry Kissinger.

Billings Josh

Imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality.

Billings Josh

"There was an interesting development in the CBS-Westmoreland trial: both sides agreed that after the trial, Andy Rooney would be allowed to talk to the jury for three minutes about little things that annoyed him during the trial."

Billings Josh

If the path be beautiful, let us not ask where it leads.

Billings Josh

He was a fiddler, and consequently a rogue.

Billings Josh

"Not Hercules could have knock'd out his brains, for he had none."

Billings Josh

Diplomacy is about surviving until the next century. Politics is about surviving until Friday afternoon.

Billings Josh

A copy of the universe is not what is required of art; one of the damned things is ample.

Binder Dr. L.

Home life as we understand it is no more natural to us than a cage is to a cockatoo.

Binstead Arthur

Blessed are the forgetful: for they get the better even of their blunders.


Laws are like sausages. It's better not to see them being made.


America is a large, friendly dog in a very small room. Every time it wags its tail, it knocks over a chair.


It is either through the influence of narcotic potions, of which all primitive peoples and races speak in hymns, or through the powerful approach of spring, penetrating with joy all of nature, that those Dionysian stirrings arise, which in their int

Bir Fred Nietzsche The

Yesterday I was a dog. Today I'm a dog. Tomorrow I'll probably still be a dog. Sigh! There's so little hope for advancement.

Bismarck Otto Von

Rembrandt is not to be compared in the painting of character with our extraordinarily gifted English artist, Mr. Rippingille.

Bismarck Otto Von

It was a female that drove me to drink and I didn't even have the kindness to thank her.

Bismarck Otto von

Execute every act of thy life as though it were thy last.

Bismarck Otto von

They also serve who only stand and wait.

Bismarck Otto von

It is only the great men who are truly obscene. If they had not dared to be obscene, they could never have dared to be great.

Bismark Otto von

I heard a definition of an intellectual, that I thought was very interesting: a man who takes more words than are necessary to tell more than he knows.


Another day, another dollar.


Airplanes are interesting toys but of no military value.

Blake William

Of all men's miseries, the bitterest is this: to know so much and have control over nothing.

Blake William

"Given the choice between accomplishing something and just lying around, I'd rather lie around. No contest."

Blake William

Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel.

Blake William

Try not to have a good time ... This is supposed to be educational.

Blake William

The more I want to get something done, the less I call it work.

Blaylock James P.

The superior man understands what is right; the inferior man understands what will sell.

Blaylock James P.

One man's brain plus one other will produce one half as many ideas as one man would have produced alone. These two plus two more will produce half again as many ideas. These four plus four more begin to represent a creative meeting, and the ratio c

Blaylock James P.

Al Gore resembled a Vulcan desperately in need of a blow job.

Blaylock James P.

"I have to convince you, or at least snow you ..."

Blish James

I love mankind ... It's people I hate.


Home is the place where, when you have to go there, they have to take you in.


You climb to reach the summit, but once there, discover that all roads lead down.

Bo Napoleon

The eye is a menace to clear sight, the ear is a menace to subtle hearing, the mind is a menace to wisdom, every organ of the senses is a menace to its own capacity. ... Fuss, the god of the Southern Ocean, and Fret, the god of the Northern Ocean, h

Bo Napoleon

By protracting life, we do not deduct one jot from the duration of death.

Bob Cary Grant

I would like the government to do all it can to mitigate, then, in understanding, in mutuality of interest, in concern for the common good, our tasks will be solved.

Bob Dylan

Small is beautiful.

Boffo Mister

The greatest productive force is human selfishness.

Bogart Humphrey

When neither their poverty nor their honor is touched, the majority of men live content.

Bogart Humphrey

I didn't believe in reincarnation in any of my other lives. I don't see why I should have to believe in it in this one.

Bohr Niels

One big pile is better than two little piles.

Boleyn Anne

"Beware of the man who works hard to learn something, learns it, and finds himself no wiser than before," Bokonon tells us. "He is full of murderous resentment of people who are ignorant without having come by their ignorance the hard way."

Bombeck Erma

What good is it if you talk in flowers, and they think in pastry?

Bombeck Erma

Go not to the elves for counsel, for they will say both yes and no.

Bon John Dillinger on

After the ground war began, captured Iraqi soldiers said any of them caught by superiors wearing a white T-shirt would be executed because of the ease with which the shirts could be used as surrender flags. Some Iraqi soldiers carried bleach with th

Bono Ed De

Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamp-post how it feels about dogs.

Bonzai Buckaroo

October. This is one of the peculiarly dangerous months to speculate in stocks in. The others are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, December, August, and February.

Boorstin Daniel J.

Even God cannot change the past.

Boren James H.

Men ought to know that from the brain and from the brain only arise our pleasures, joys, laughter, and jests as well as our sorrows, pains, griefs and tears. ... It is the same thing which makes us mad or delirious, inspires us with dread and fear,

Borge Victor

"We're not talking about the same thing," he said. "For you the world is weird because if you're not bored with it you're at odds with it. For me the world is weird because it is stupendous, awesome, mysterious, unfathomable; my interest has been to

Bosky Bernadette

"We should declare war on North Vietnam. We could pave the whole country and put parking strips on it, and still be home by Christmas."

Bosquet Pierre

It is the quality rather than the quantity that matters.

Bossert W.

The human brain is a wonderful thing. It starts working the moment you are born, and never stops until you stand up to speak in public.

Boswell James

The white race is the cancer of history.

Bowie David

We have gone on piling weapon upon weapon, missile upon missile, new levels of destructiveness upon old ones. We have done this helplessly, almost involuntarily: like the victims of some sort of hypnotism, like men in a dream, like lemmings heading

Bowles Colin

The possession of a book becomes a substitute for reading it.

Bowles Colin

I'm going to Vietnam at the request of the White House. President Johnson says a war isn't really a war without my jokes.

Bradbury Ray

Odets, where is thy sting?

Bradley F.H.

A public debt is a kind of anchor in the storm; but if the anchor be too heavy for the vessel, she will be sunk by that very weight which was intended for her preservation.

Bradley General Omar N.

A decade after Vietnam, we still cannot understand why "their" Salvadorans fight better than "our" Salvadorans. It is not a matter of their training or their equipment. It has to do with the quality of the society we are asking them to risk death d

Bramah Ernest

What excuses stand in your way? How can you eliminate them?

Brandeis Justice Louis D.

The universe is made of stories, not of atoms.

Brando Marlon

The heroic hours of life do not announce their presence by drum and trumpet, challenging us to be true to ourselves by appeals to the martial spirit that keeps the blood at heat. Some little, unassuming, unobtrusive choice presents itself before us

Brando Marlon

My religion consists of a humble admiration of the illimitable superior spirit who reveals himself in the slight details we are able to perceive with our frail and feeble mind.

Brant Sebastian

If fifty million people say a foolish thing, it's still a foolish thing.

Braun Wernher von

Great acts are made up of small deeds.

Brecher K.

Where it is a duty to worship the sun it is pretty sure to be a crime to examine the laws of heat.

Brecheux J.

If Presidents don't do it to their wives, they do it to the country.

Brecht Bertold

If you live long enough, you'll see that every victory turns into a defeat.

Brecht Bertolt

Whatever occurs from love is always beyond good and evil.

Brecht Bertolt

Immature poets imitate, mature poets steal.

Brecht Bertolt

Most people deserve each other.

Brecht Bertolt

Crucifixes are sexy because there's a naked man on them.

Brecht Bertolt

The propriety of some persons seems to consist in having improper thoughts about their neighbours.

Brecht Bertolt

If it doesn't smell yet, it's pretty fresh.

Brecht Bertolt

No man would listen to you talk if he didn't know it was his turn next.

Brenan Gerald

Example is not the main thing in influencing others. It is the only thing.

Brescia Albertano of


Brian Herbert

Good judgement comes from experience. Experience comes from bad judgement.

Briggs Austen

"Spare no expense to save money on this one."

Brilliant Ashleigh

"I don't care who does the electing as long as I get to do the nominating."

Brilliant Ashleigh

Very few things happen at the right time, and the rest do not happen at all. The conscientious historian will correct these defects.

Brilliant Ashleigh

"Life is too important to take seriously."

Brilliant Ashleigh

The Public is merely a multiplied "me."

Brilliant Ashleigh

If there were a school for, say, sheet metal workers, that after three years left its graduates as unprepared for their careers as does law school, it would be closed down in a minute, and no doubt by lawyers.

Broder David

I guess I've been wrong all my life, but so have billions of other people... Certainty is just an emotion.

Brodsky Joseph

Whatever is not nailed down is mine. Whatever I can pry up is not nailed down.

Brogan Colm

I would have promised those terrorists a trip to Disneyland if it would have gotten the hostages released. I thank God they were satisfied with the missiles and we didn't have to go to that extreme.

Brooks Mel

THE MX IS GOOD FOR THE ECONOMY. One important reason we have a Defense Department is that when we give it money, it spends it, which creates jobs, whereas if we left the money in the hands of civilians, we don't know what they'd do with it. Probabl

Brooks Atkinson

He that teaches himself has a fool for a master.

Brooks Mel

There are no answers, only cross-references.

Brooks Mel

Hate the sin and love the sinner.

Brothers The Blues

No one knows what he can do till he tries.

Brothers The Blues

Nothing recedes like success.

Broughton Philip

When a place gets crowded enough to require ID's, social collapse is not far away. It is time to go elsewhere. The best thing about space travel is that it made it possible to go elsewhere.

Brow John Mason

The means-and-ends moralists, or non-doers, always end up on their ends without any means.

Brow John Mason

Work is the crab grass in the lawn of life.

Brown Governor Jerry

The shifts of Fortune test the reliability of friends.

Brown Rita Mae

When I have one foot in the grave I will tell the truth about women. I shall tell it, jump into my coffin, pull the lid over me, and say, "Do what you like now."

Browning Robert

It is convenient that there be gods, and, as it is convenient, let us believe there are.

Bruce Lenny

Lord, defend me from my friends; I can account for my enemies.

Bruce Lenny

Nothing is illegal if one hundred businessmen decide to do it.

Bruce Lenny

If one tells the truth, one is sure, sooner or later, to be found out.

Bruce Lenny

Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid.

Bruce Lenny

The graveyards are full of indispensable men.

Bruce Lenny

Sensible and responsible women do not want to vote.

Bruce Lenny

A Tale of Two Cities LITE(tm)

Bruce Lenny

The 'A' is for content, the 'minus' is for not typing it. Don't ever do this to my eyes again.

Bruce Lenny

Good government never depends upon laws, but upon the personal qualities of those who govern. The machinery of government is always subordinate to the will of those who administer that machinery. The most important element of government, therefore,

Bruce Lenny

Several years ago, some smart businessmen had an idea: Why not build a big store where a do-it-yourselfer could get everything he needed at reasonable prices? Then they decided, nah, the hell with that, let's build a home center. And before long ho

Bruce Lenny

If clear thinking created sparks, we could safely store dynamite in James Watt's office.

Brunner John

A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.

Bruyere Jean de la

There is no comfort without pain; thus we define salvation through suffering.

Bry Yul

Vote early and vote often.

Bryson Lyman

Fraud is the homage that force pays to reason.

Buckley Lord

"Earth is a great, big funhouse without the fun."

Buckley William F.

Lassie looked brilliant, in part because the farm family she lived with was made up of idiots. Remember? One of them was always getting pinned under the tractor, and Lassie was always rushing back to the farmhouse to alert the other ones. She'd w

Buckley William F.

You just wait, I'll sin till I blow up!

Buddha Gotama

If we could sell our experiences for what they cost us, we would all be millionaires.

Bullwinkle Rocky and

What, after all, is a halo? It's only one more thing to keep clean.

Bullwinkle J. Moose

To accuse others for one's own misfortunes is a sign of want of education. To accuse oneself shows that one's education has begun. To accuse neither oneself nor others shows that one's education is complete.

Bulwer-Ly Grand Panjandrum

Innovation is hard to schedule.


We can embody the truth, but we cannot know it.


There is always something new out of Africa.


I remember when legal used to mean lawful, now it means some kind of loophole.


Law stands mute in the midst of arms.

Bumstead Dagwood

I acted to show my love for Jodie Foster.

Bungei Shunju

The trouble with superheros is what to do between phone booths.

Buren Abigail Van

Shall we make a new rule of life from tonight: always to try to be a little kinder than is necessary?

Buren Abigail Van

Unknown person(s) stole the American flag from its pole in Etra Park sometime between 3pm Jan 17 and 11:30 am Jan 20. The flag is described as red, white and blue, having 50 stars and was valued at $40.

Burgess Anthony

I go on working for the same reason a hen goes on laying eggs.

Burgess Philip Larkin on Anthony

Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing.

Burke James

In "King Henry VI, Part II," Shakespeare has Dick Butcher suggest to his fellow anti-establishment rabble-rousers, "The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers." That action may be extreme but a similar sentiment was expressed by Thomas K. Co

Burnham Daniel Hudson

Never let your sense of morals prevent you from doing what is right.

Burns George

Competitive fury is not always anger. It is the true missionary's courage and zeal in facing the possibility that one's best may not be enough.

Burns George

If you think the United States has stood still, who built the largest shopping center in the world?

Burroughs William

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Burroughs William S.

I never deny, I never contradict. I sometimes forget.

Burt Lanier Safford III

Take your work seriously but never take yourself seriously; and do not take what happens either to yourself or your work seriously.

Burton Robert

Confession is good for the soul only in the sense that a tweed coat is good for dandruff.

Burton Sir Richard

There is no cure for birth and death other than to enjoy the interval.

Burton Sir Richard

I do not patronize poor, ill educated, or disenfranchised people by exempting them from the same critical examination I feel free to direct toward the rest of society, however much I might champion the same minority or disadvantaged group in the foru

Business Risky

The law will never make men free; it is men who have got to make the law free.

Butler Dave

A critic is a bundle of biases held loosely together by a sense of taste.

Butler Samuel

'Martyrdom' is the only way a person can become famous without ability.

Butler Samuel

Philosophy will clip an angel's wings.

Butler Samuel

Walking on water wasn't built in a day.

Butler Samuel

The major advances in civilization are processes that all but wreck the societies in which they occur.

Butler Samuel

Practical people would be more practical if they would take a little more time for dreaming.

Butler Samuel

However, never daunted, I will cope with adversity in my traditional manner ... sulking and nausea.

Butler Samuel

You'd better smile when they watch you, smile like you're in control.

Bux Bastian B.

I would have made a good pope.

Byrnes James F.

If there were a school for, say, sheet metal workers, that after three years left its graduates as unprepared for their careers as does law school, it would be closed down in a minute, and no doubt by lawyers.

Bywater T.

Water, taken in moderation cannot hurt anybody.

beach. from the

She applies her lipstick in spite of its contents: "greasy rouge, containing crushed and dried insect corpses for coloring, beeswax for stiffness, and olive oil to help it flow - the latter having the unfortunate tendency to go rancid several hours a

better. much

Random Quote

Jesus may love you, but I think you're garbage wrapped in skin.
O'Donohugh Michael

deep thoughts of brillyant genius of human history
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