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Honesty pays, but it doesn't seem to pay enough to suit some people.

B Marion Zimmer

All men know the utility of useful things; but they do not know the utility of futility.

Ba Dave

"I'm in Pittsburgh. Why am I here?"

Baber R.E.

Education is the process of casting false pearls before real swine.

Babson Roger

It is the quality rather than the quantity that matters.

Bacall Lauren

One picture is worth more than ten thousand words.

Bach J.S.

He thought of Musashi, the Sword Saint, standing in his garden more than three hundred years ago. "What is the 'Body of a rock'?" he was asked. In answer, Musashi summoned a pupil of his and bid him kill himself by slashing his abdomen with a knife.

Bach Richard

God help those who do not help themselves.

Bacharach Burt

The only thing that experience teaches us is that experience teaches us nothing.

Bacon Francis

If while you are in school, there is a shortage of qualified personnel in a particular field, then by the time you graduate with the necessary qualifications, that field's employment market is glutted.

Bacon Francis

I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to.

Bacon Francis

Waste not fresh tears over old griefs.

Bacon Francis

Everything is possible. Pass the word.

Bacon Francis

If we see the light at the end of the tunnel, it's the light of an oncoming train.

Bacon Francis

Work is of two kinds: first, altering the position of matter at or near the earth's surface relative to other matter; second, telling other people to do so.

Bacon Francis

If I had a plantation in Georgia and a home in Hell, I'd sell the plantation and go home.

Bacon Francis

Nice guys finish last.

Bailey P.J.

Bingo, gas station, hamburger with a side order of airplane noise, and you'll be Gary, Indiana.

Baja Dan Jenkins

No two persons ever read the same book.

Baker Russell

VII. Certain bodies can pass through solid walls painted to resemble tunnel entrances; others cannot. This trompe l'oeil inconsistency has baffled generations, but at least it is known that whoever paints an entrance on a wall's surface to

Baker Russell

If you live in New York, even if you're Catholic, you're Jewish.

Baker Russell

Marijuana will be legal some day, because the many law students who now smoke pot will someday become congressmen and legalize it in order to protect themselves.

Baker Russell

A woman who is guided by the head and not by the heart is a social pestilence: she has all the defects of the passionate and affectionate woman, with none of her compensations; she is without pity, without love, without virtue, without sex.

Baldwin James

Reality is nothing but a collective hunch.

Baldwin Stanley

Chapter 1 The story so far: In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.


Illusion is the first of all pleasures.

Balfour Arthur

The Israelis are the Doberman pinschers of the Middle East. They treat the Arabs like postmen.

Balliett Whitney

Mundus vult decipi decipiatur ergo.

Ballou Hosea

The Least Successful Equal Pay Advertisement In 1976 the European Economic Community pointed out to the Irish Government that it had not yet implemented the agreed sex equality legislation. The Dublin Government immediately advertised for an equal


America, I'm putting my queer shoulder to the wheel.

Balzac Honor'e de

After his Ignoble Disgrace, Satan was being expelled from Heaven. As he passed through the Gates, he paused a moment in thought, and turned to God and said, "A new creature called Man, I hear, is soon to be created." "This is true," He replied.

Bandits Time

Some men are heterosexual, and some are bisexual, and some men don't think about sex at all... they become lawyers.

Bankhead Tallulah

Sometimes even to live is an act of courage.

Banks Russell

Walking on water wasn't built in a day.

Banzai Buckaroo

Music in the soul can be heard by the universe.

Barber Milt

The whole earth is in jail and we're plotting this incredible jailbreak.


I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.

Barf Biff

Any two philosophers can tell each other all they know in two hours.

Barker Clive

The more I want to get something done, the less I call it work.

Barrie J.M.

Since everything in life is but an experience perfect in being what it is, having nothing to do with good or bad, acceptance or rejection, one may well burst out in laughter.

Barris Chuck

If we don't survive, we don't do anything else.

Barry Dave

Patience is the best remedy for every trouble.

Barry Dave

Nothing is more admirable than the fortitude with which millionaires tolerate the disadvantages of their wealth.

Barry Dave

"I understand this is your first dead client," Sabian was saying. The absurdity of the statement made me want to laugh but they don't call me Deadpan Allie and lie.

Barry Dave

The truth is what is; what should be is a dirty lie.

Barry Dave

The optimum committee has no members.

Barry Dave

The Almighty in His infinite wisdom did not see fit to create Frenchmen in the image of Englishmen.

Barry Dave

The mosquito is the state bird of New Jersey.

Barry Dave

Mate, this parrot wouldn't VOOM if you put four million volts through it!

Barry Dave

Laws are like sausages. It's better not to see them being made.

Barry Dave

I didn't do it! Nobody saw me do it! Can't prove anything!

Barry Dave

It is bad luck to be superstitious.

Barry Dave

If a man stay away from his wife for seven years, the law presumes the separation to have killed him; yet according to our daily experience, it might well prolong his life.

Barry Dave

When alerted to an intrusion by tinkling glass or otherwise, 1) Calm yourself 2) Identify the intruder 3) If hostile, kill him. Step number 3 is of particular importance. If you leave the guy alive out of misguided softheartedness, he will repay y

Barry Dave

When the going gets tough, everyone leaves.

Barry Dave

The problem that we thought was a problem was, indeed, a problem, but not the problem we thought was the problem.

Barry Dave

XXVI: If a sufficient number of management layers are superimposed on each other, it can be assured that disaster is not left to chance. XXVII: Rank does not intimidate hardware. Neither does the lack of rank. XXVIII: It is better to be the r

Barry Dave

If little else, the brain is an educational toy.

Barry Dave


Barry Dave

When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.

Barry Dave

America has been discovered before, but it has always been hushed up.

Barry Dave

Whatever is not nailed down is mine. Whatever I can pry up is not nailed down.

Barry Dave

When eating an elephant take one bite at a time.

Barry Dave

But if you wish at once to do nothing and to be respectable nowdays, the best pretext is to be at work on some profound study.

Barry Dave

"All snakes who wish to remain in Ireland will please raise their right hands."

Barry Dave

Gauls! We have nothing to fear; except perhaps that the sky may fall on our heads tomorrow. But as we all know, tomorrow never comes!!

Barry Dave

Fame lost its appeal for me when I went into a public restroom and an autograph seeker handed me a pen and paper under the stall door.

Barry Dave

From the cradle to the coffin underwear comes first.

Barry Dave

When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened. It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to

Barry Dave

The human brain is a wonderful thing. It starts working the moment you are born, and never stops until you stand up to speak in public.

Barry Dave

The adjective is the banana peel of the parts of speech.

Barry Dave

I remember when legal used to mean lawful, now it means some kind of loophole.

Barry Dave

Let me assure you that to us here at First National, you're not just a number. Youre two numbers, a dash, three more numbers, another dash and another number.

Barry Dave

Hard reality has a way of cramping your style.

Barry Dave

Depend on the rabbit's foot if you will, but remember, it didn't help the rabbit.

Barry Dave

If little green men land in your back yard, hide any little green women you've got in the house.

Barry Dave

Feminists say 60 percent of the country's wealth is in the hands of women. They're letting men hold the other 40 percent because their handbags are full.

Barry Dave

Being a miner, as soon as you're too old and tired and sick and stupid to do your job properly, you have to go, where the very opposite applies with the judges.

Barry Dave

I have a very strange feeling about this...

Barry Dave

An aphorism is never exactly true; it is either a half-truth or one-and-a-half truths.

Barry Dave

Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do. Play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do.

Barry Dave

The race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, but that's the way to bet.

Barry Dave

He played the king as if afraid someone else would play the ace.

Barry Dave

The Worst Musical Trio There are few bad musicians who have a chance to give a recital at a famous concert hall while still learning the rudiments of their instrument. This happened about thirty years ago to the son of a Rumanian gentleman who was

Barry Dave

Live within your income, even if you have to borrow to do so.

Barry Dave

Reality is just a convenient measure of complexity.

Barry Dave

"Earth is a great, big funhouse without the fun."

Barry Dave

There's no justice in this world.

Barry Dave

There is more to life than increasing its speed.

Barry Dave

Now, you might ask, "How do I get one of those complete home tool sets for under $4?" An excellent question. Go to one of those really cheap discount stores where they sell plastic furniture in colors visible from the planet Neptune and where they

Baruch B.

I paid a visit to my local precinct in Greenwich Village and asked a sergeant to show me some rape statistics. He politely obliged. That month there had been thirty-five rape complaints, an advance of ten over the same month for the previous year.

Battie Bill

Non-Determinism is not meant to be reasonable.

Baudelaire Charles

The past always looks better than it was. It's only pleasant because it isn't here.

Beal Louise

I will make you shorter by the head.

Bear Greg

The flush toilet is the basis of Western civilization.

Beard Charles A.

The life which is unexamined is not worth living.

Beard Peter

I've got all the money I'll ever need if I die by 4 o'clock.

Beaton Cecil

It'll be just like Beggars' Canyon back home.

Beatty Paul

Nothing succeeds like success.

Beauvoir Simone de

A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats.

Beck Bob

Best Mistakes In Films In his "Filmgoer's Companion", Mr. Leslie Halliwell helpfully lists four of the cinema's greatest moments which you should get to see if at all possible. In "Carmen Jones", the camera tracks with Dorothy Dandridge down a st

Becke Samuel

I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph.


Ben, why didn't you tell me?

Beckett Samuel

American business long ago gave up on demanding that prospective employees be honest and hardworking. It has even stopped hoping for employees who are educated enough that they can tell the difference between the men's room and the women's room with

Beckett Samuel

The Soviet pre-eminence in chess can be traced to the average Russian's readiness to brood obsessively over anything, even the arrangement of some pieces of wood. Indeed, the Russians' predisposition for quiet reflection followed by sudden preventi

Beckett Samuel

None love the bearer of bad news.

Beckman Roman

Why does a hearse horse snicker, hauling a lawyer away?

Beeblebrox Zaphod

Events are not affected, they develop.

Beecher Rev. Henry Ward

If a jury in a criminal trial stays out for more than twenty-four hours, it is certain to vote acquittal, save in those instances where it votes guilty.

Beer Stafford

There is no sin but ignorance.

Behan Brendan

When in doubt, have a man come through the door with a gun in his hand.

Behan Brendan

History is nothing but a collection of fables and useless trifles, cluttered up with a mass of unnecessary figures and proper names.

Behan Brendan

"What was the worst thing you've ever done?" "I won't tell you that, but I'll tell you the worst thing that ever happened to me... the most dreadful thing."

Behan Brendan

You can fool all the people all of the time if the advertising is right and the budget is big enough.

Belloc Hilaire

A woman's a woman until the day she dies, but a man's only a man as long as he can.

Bellow Saul

The fact that it works is immaterial.

Ben Franklin

Ignorance is the Mother of Devotion.

Benares Camden

All is well that ends well.

Benares Camden

What kind of sordid business are you on now? I mean, man, whither goest thou? Whither goest thou, America, in thy shiny car in the night?

Benchley Robert

There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?

Benchley Robert

Well begun is half done.

Benchley Robert

The lawgiver, of all beings, most owes the law allegiance. He of all men should behave as though the law compelled him. But it is the universal weakness of mankind that what we are given to administer we presently imagine we own.

Benchley Robert

You may have heard that a dean is to faculty as a hydrant is to a dog.


Take what you can use and let the rest go by.

Benjamin A.

True to our past we work with an inherited, observed, and accepted vision of personal futility, and of the beauty of the world.

Bennett Alan

Yevtushenko has... an ego that can crack crystal at a distance of twenty feet.

Bennett Arnold

Doctors and lawyers must go to school for years and years, often with little sleep and with great sacrifice to their first wives.

Bennett D.

For every bloke who makes his mark, there's half a dozen waiting to rub it out.

Bennett James Gordon

Art is anything you can get away with.

Bennett W.C.

University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.

Bennett W.C.

Money doesn't talk, it swears.

Bergen Candice

A likely impossibility is always preferable to an unconvincing possibility.

Berle Milton

Likewise, the national appetizer, brine-cured herring with raw onions, wins few friends, Germans excepted.

Berlioz Hector

The truth of a thing is the feel of it, not the think of it.

Berman Edgar

I went into the business for the money, and the art grew out of it. If people are disillusioned by that remark, I can't help it. It's the truth.

Bernanos Georges

Love the sea? I dote upon it

Berner Jeff

The use of money is all the advantage there is to having money.

Berquier Edouard

You can't run away forever, But there's nothing wrong with getting a good head start.

Berra Yogi

What good is an obscenity trial except to popularize literature?

Berra Yogi

IF I HAD A MINE SHAFT, I don't think I would just abandon it. There's got to be a better way.

Berryman John

A committee is a group that keeps the minutes and loses hours.

Biel Gabriel

The universe is made of stories, not of atoms.

Bierce Ambrose

The faster I go, the behinder I get.

Bierce Ambrose

One of my favorite jokes, a telling commentary on Jewish mothers' capacity to lay on guilt, involves the mother who gave her son two neckties on Chanuka. The boy hurried into his bedroom, ripped off the tie he was wearing, put on one of the ties his

Bierce Ambrose

You don't have to think too hard when you talk to teachers.

Bierce Ambrose

Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely.

Bierce Ambrose

I know on which side my bread is buttered.

Bierce Ambrose

If you know the answer to a question, don't ask.

Bierce Ambrose

You tread upon my patience.

Bierce Ambrose

Art is a jealous mistress.

Bierce Ambrose

Sic transit gloria mundi. [So passes away the glory of this world.]

Bierce Ambrose

Monterey... is decidedly the pleasantest and most civilized-looking place in California ... [it] is also a great place for cock-fighting, gambling of all sorts, fandangos, and various kinds of amusements and knavery.

Bilbo Baggins

A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds.

Bill Adler

With women, I've got a long bamboo pole with a leather loop on the end of it. I slip the loop around their necks so they can't get away or come too close. Like catching snakes.

Bill Cain

People in general do not willingly read if they have anything else to amuse them.

Bill Cain

We'll be recording at the Paradise Friday night. Live, on the Death label.

Billings Josh

Rascal, am I? Take THAT!

Billings Josh

The United States is like the guy at the party who gives cocaine to everybody and still nobody likes him.

Billings Josh

Housework can kill you if done right.

Billings Josh

Living in New York City gives people real incentives to want things that nobody else wants.

Billings Josh

Who does not trust enough will not be trusted.

Billings Josh

Any road followed to its end leads precisely nowhere. Climb the mountain just a little to test it's a mountain. From the top of the mountain, you cannot see the mountain.

Billings Josh

An older student came to Otis and said, "I have been to see a great number of teachers and I have given up a great number of pleasures. I have fasted, been celibate and stayed awake nights seeking enlightenment. I have given up everything I was aske

Binder Dr. L.

The world has many unintentionally cruel mechanisms that are not designed for people who walk on their hands.

Binstead Arthur

"You would do well not to imagine profundity," he said. "Anything that seems of momentous occasion should be dwelt upon as though it were of slight note. Conversely, trivialities must be attended to with the greatest of care. Because death is moment


British education is probably the best in the world, if you can survive it. If you can't there is nothing left for you but the diplomatic corps.


Dear Mister Language Person: What is the purpose of the apostrophe? Answer: The apostrophe is used mainly in hand-lettered small business signs to alert the reader than an "S" is coming up at the end of a word, as in: WE DO NOT EXCEPT PERSONAL CHEC


"We're not talking about the same thing," he said. "For you the world is weird because if you're not bored with it you're at odds with it. For me the world is weird because it is stupendous, awesome, mysterious, unfathomable; my interest has been to

Bir Fred Nietzsche The

...He who laughs does not believe in what he laughs at, but neither does he hate it. Therefore, laughing at evil means not preparing oneself to combat it, and laughing at good means denying the power through which good is self-propagating.

Bismarck Otto Von

You k'n hide de fier, but w'at you gwine do wid de smoke?

Bismarck Otto Von

The eye is a menace to clear sight, the ear is a menace to subtle hearing, the mind is a menace to wisdom, every organ of the senses is a menace to its own capacity. ... Fuss, the god of the Southern Ocean, and Fret, the god of the Northern Ocean, h

Bismarck Otto von

Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.

Bismarck Otto von

Anything anybody can say about America is true.

Bismarck Otto von

But the greatest Electrical Pioneer of them all was Thomas Edison, who was a brilliant inventor despite the fact that he had little formal education and lived in New Jersey. Edison's first major invention in 1877, was the phonograph, which could soo

Bismark Otto von

You must be the change you wish to see in the world.


Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration.


Indeed, the first noble truth of Buddhism, usually translated as `all life is suffering,' is more accurately rendered `life is filled with a sense of pervasive unsatisfactoriness.'

Blake William

I remember when legal used to mean lawful, now it means some kind of loophole.

Blake William

It is Mr. Mellon's credo that $200,000,000 can do no wrong. Our offense consists in doubting it.

Blake William

When a man is tired of London, he is tired of life.

Blake William

No man is an Iland, intire of it selfe; every man is a peece of the Continent, a part of the maine; if a Clod bee washed away by the Sea, Europe is the lesse, as well as if a Promontorie were, as well as if a Mannor of thy friends or of thine owne we

Blake William

Too much of everything is just enough.

Blaylock James P.

Please try to limit the amount of "this room doesn't have any bazingas" until you are told that those rooms are "punched out." Once punched out, we have a right to complain about atrocities, missing bazingas, and such.

Blaylock James P.

The only alliance I would make with the Women's Liberation Movement is in bed.

Blaylock James P.

If you want to know what god thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.

Blaylock James P.

For certain people, after fifty, litigation takes the place of sex.

Blish James

Pereant, inquit, qui ante nos nostra dixerunt. [Confound those who have said our remarks before us.] or [May they perish who have expressed our bright ideas before us.]


This is an especially good time for you vacationers who plan to fly, because the Reagan administration, as part of the same policy under which it recently sold Yellowstone National Park to Wayne Newton, has "deregulated" the airline industry. What t


When I was in school, I cheated on my metaphysics exam: I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.

Bo Napoleon

Let's remind ourselves that last year's fresh idea is today's cliche.

Bo Napoleon

Inglish Spocken Hier: some mangled translations Sign on a cathedral in Spain: It is forbidden to enter a woman, even a foreigner if dressed as a man. Above the enterance to a Cairo bar: Unaccompanied ladies not admitted unless with husb

Bob Cary Grant

You have all eternity to be cautious in when you're dead.

Bob Dylan

You get what you pay for.

Boffo Mister

If a man has a strong faith he can indulge in the luxury of skepticism.

Bogart Humphrey

Progress might have been all right once, but it's gone on too long.

Bogart Humphrey

Reality is bad enough, why should I tell the truth?

Bohr Niels

I go on working for the same reason a hen goes on laying eggs.

Boleyn Anne

In my end is my beginning.

Bombeck Erma

You cannot see the wood for the trees.

Bombeck Erma

If God is One, what is bad?

Bon John Dillinger on

"Hi, I'm Preston A. Mantis, president of Consumers Retail Law Outlet. As you can see by my suit and the fact that I have all these books of equal height on the shelves behind me, I am a trained legal attorney. Do you have a car or a job? Do you ever

Bono Ed De

Fortune Documents the Great Legal Decisions: We think that we may take judicial notice of the fact that the term "bitch" may imply some feeling of endearment when applied to a female of the canine species but that it is seldom, if ever, so used whe

Bonzai Buckaroo

Arrakis teaches the attitude of the knife - chopping off what's incomplete and saying: "Now it's complete because it's ended here."

Boorstin Daniel J.

There is no better way of exercising the imagination than the study of law. No poet ever interpreted nature as freely as a lawyer interprets truth.

Boren James H.

Porsche: there simply is no substitute.

Borge Victor

The sooner you make your first 5000 mistakes, the sooner you will be able to correct them.

Bosky Bernadette

If at first you don't succeed, you're doing about average.

Bosquet Pierre

Do not despair of life. You have no doubt force enough to overcome your obstacles. Think of the fox prowling through wood and field in a winter night for something to satisfy his hunger. Notwithstanding cold and hounds and traps, his race survives

Bossert W.

It is only by risking our persons from one hour to another that we live at all. And often enough our faith beforehand in an uncertified result is the only thing that makes the result come true.

Boswell James

I value kindness to human beings first of all, and kindness to animals. I don't respect the law; I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger, the food cheaper, and old men

Bowie David

Where it is a duty to worship the sun it is pretty sure to be a crime to examine the laws of heat.

Bowles Colin

The two most beautiful words in the English language are "Cheque Enclosed."

Bowles Colin

Charity begins at home.

Bradbury Ray

Beauty is one of the rare things which does not lead to doubt of God.

Bradley F.H.

The longest part of the journey is said to be the passing of the gate.

Bradley General Omar N.

It has been said [by Anatole France], "it is not by amusing oneself that one learns," and, in reply: "it is *____only* by amusing oneself that one can learn."

Bramah Ernest

... before I could come to any conclusion it occurred to me that my speech or my silence, indeed any action of mine, would be a mere futility. What did it matter what anyone knew or ignored? What did it matter who was manager? One gets sometimes s

Brandeis Justice Louis D.

To have died once is enough.

Brando Marlon

The executioner is, I hear, very expert, and my neck is very slender.

Brando Marlon

In case of fire, stand in the hall and shout "Fire!"

Brant Sebastian

A morgue is a morgue is a morgue. They can paint the walls with aggressively cheerful primary colors and splashy bold graphics, but it's still a holding place for the dead until they can be parted out to organ banks. Not that I would have cared nor

Braun Wernher von

Toto, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore.

Brecher K.

Love may laugh at locksmiths, but he has a profound respect for money bags.

Brecheux J.

[Maturity consists in the discovery that] there comes a critical moment where everything is reversed, after which the point becomes to understand more and more that there is something which cannot be understood.

Brecht Bertold

Diary of a Young Girl LITE(tm)

Brecht Bertolt

This novel is not to be tossed lightly aside, but to be hurled with great force.

Brecht Bertolt

Education is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember from time to time that nothing that is worth knowing can be taught.

Brecht Bertolt

If you have to ask what jazz is, you'll never know.

Brecht Bertolt

Crito, I owe a cock to Asclepius; will you remember to pay the debt?

Brecht Bertolt

I'm always looking for a new idea that will be more productive than its cost.

Brecht Bertolt

Like ya know? Rock 'N Roll is an esoteric language that unlocks the creativity chambers in people's brains, and like totally activates their essential hipness, which of course is like totally necessary for saving the earth, like because the first th

Brecht Bertolt

If you want divine justice, die.

Brenan Gerald

Well, we'll really have a party, but we've gotta post a guard outside.

Brescia Albertano of

A wise person makes his own decisions, a weak one obeys public opinion.

Brian Herbert

Catharsis is something I associate with pornography and crossword puzzles.

Briggs Austen

Armenians and Azerbaijanis in Stepanakert, capital of the Nagorno-Karabakh autonomous region, rioted over much needed spelling reform in the Soviet Union.

Brilliant Ashleigh

What we wish, that we readily believe.

Brilliant Ashleigh

The only problem with seeing too much is that it makes you insane.

Brilliant Ashleigh

The typewriting machine, when played with expression, is no more annoying than the piano when played by a sister or near relation.

Brilliant Ashleigh

Just once I would like to persuade the audience not to wear any article of blue denim. If only they could see themselves in a pair of brown corduroys like mine instead of this awful, boring blue denim. I don't enjoy the sky or sea as much as I used

Brilliant Ashleigh

What makes you think graduate school is supposed to be satisfying?

Broder David

Home is where the hurt is.

Brodsky Joseph

Two wrongs are only the beginning.

Brogan Colm

The road to Hades is easy to travel.

Brooks Mel

For certain people, after fifty, litigation takes the place of sex.

Brooks Atkinson

Good government never depends upon laws, but upon the personal qualities of those who govern. The machinery of government is always subordinate to the will of those who administer that machinery. The most important element of government, therefore,

Brooks Mel

Do not seek death; death will find you. But seek the road which makes death a fulfillment.

Brooks Mel

I do not know whether I was then a man dreaming I was a butterfly, or whether I am now a butterfly dreaming I am a man.

Brothers The Blues

The shortest distance between two points is under construction.

Brothers The Blues

The chief cause of problems is solutions.

Broughton Philip

That's no moon...

Brow John Mason

You can't expect a boy to be vicious till he's been to a good school.

Brow John Mason

When one burns one's bridges, what a very nice fire it makes.

Brown Governor Jerry

The average Ph.D thesis is nothing but the transference of bones from one graveyard to another.

Brown Rita Mae

Let your conscience be your guide.

Browning Robert

Intellect annuls Fate. So far as a man thinks, he is free.

Bruce Lenny

No problem is so formidable that you can't just walk away from it.

Bruce Lenny

A witty saying proves nothing.

Bruce Lenny

Several years ago, some smart businessmen had an idea: Why not build a big store where a do-it-yourselfer could get everything he needed at reasonable prices? Then they decided, nah, the hell with that, let's build a home center. And before long ho

Bruce Lenny

Well, he thought, since neither Aristotelian Logic nor the disciplines of Science seemed to offer much hope, it's time to go beyond them... Drawing a few deep even breaths, he entered a mental state practiced only by Masters of the Universal Way of

Bruce Lenny

You are never given a wish without also being given the power to make it true. You may have to work for it, however.

Bruce Lenny

If we could sell our experiences for what they cost us, we would all be millionaires.

Bruce Lenny

Haste makes waste.

Bruce Lenny

Women are nothing but machines for producing children.

Bruce Lenny

A lie is an abomination unto the Lord and a very present help in time of trouble.

Bruce Lenny

A dream will always triumph over reality, once it is given the chance.

Bruce Lenny

Today's thrilling story has been brought to you by Mushies, the great new cereal that gets soggy even without milk or cream. Join us soon for more spectacular adventure starring... Tippy, the Wonder Dog!

Brunner John

Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women it is merely a good excuse not to play football.

Bruyere Jean de la

I'm glad I was not born before tea.

Bry Yul

You can no more win a war than you can win an earthquake.

Bryson Lyman

A sinking ship gathers no moss.

Buckley Lord

Innovation is hard to schedule.

Buckley William F.

Plumbing is one of the easier of do-it-yourself activities, requiring only a few simple tools and a willingness to stick your arm into a clogged toilet. In fact, you can solve many home plumbing problems, such as annoying faucet drip, merely by tur

Buckley William F.

Have you ever stopped to think what it would be like to have a woman President? "I can't deal with the Russians today. Not now. I've got my period."

Buddha Gotama

God helps them that help themselves.

Bullwinkle Rocky and

... "fire" does not matter, "earth" and "air" and "water" do not matter. "I" do not matter. No word matters. But man forgets reality and remembers words. The more words he remembers, the cleverer do his fellows esteem him. He looks upon the great

Bullwinkle J. Moose

"Necessity is the mother of invention" is a silly proverb. "Necessity is the mother of futile dodges" is much nearer the truth.

Bulwer-Ly Grand Panjandrum

The ultimate game show will be the one where somebody gets killed at the end.


It is ridiculous to call this an industry. This is not. This is rat eat rat, dog eat dog. I'll kill 'em, and I'm going to kill 'em before they kill me. You're talking about the American way of survival of the fittest.


Talking about music is like dancing about architecture.


It is not doing the thing we like to do, but liking the thing we have to do, that makes life blessed.


A beginning is the time for taking the most delicate care that balances are correct.

Bumstead Dagwood

A platitude is simply a truth repeated till people get tired of hearing it.

Bungei Shunju

If happiness is in your destiny, you need not be in a hurry.

Buren Abigail Van

Who dat who say "who dat" when I say "who dat"?

Buren Abigail Van

Traveling through hyperspace isn't like dusting crops, boy.

Burgess Anthony

The trouble is, there is an endless supply of White Men, but there has always been a limited number of Human Beings.

Burgess Philip Larkin on Anthony

Authors (and perhaps columnists) eventually rise to the top of whatever depths they were once able to plumb.

Burke James

Think sideways!

Burnham Daniel Hudson

Let's say your wedding ring falls into your toaster, and when you stick your hand in to retrieve it, you suffer Pain and Suffering as well as Mental Anguish. You would sue: * The toaster manufacturer, for failure to include, in the instructions

Burns George

Here's to women. Would that we could fall into her arms without falling into her hands.

Burns George

As failures go, attempting to recall the past is like trying to grasp the meaning of existence. Both make one feel like a baby clutching at a basketball: one's palms keep sliding off.

Burroughs William

In charity there is no excess.

Burroughs William S.

He who knows others is wise. He who knows himself is enlightened.

Burt Lanier Safford III

I have just enough white in me to make my honesty questionable.

Burton Robert

Hotels are tired of getting ripped off. I checked into a hotel and they had towels from my house.

Burton Sir Richard

It is sweet to let the mind unbend on occasion.

Burton Sir Richard

Comparing information and knowledge is like asking whether the fatness of a pig is more or less green than the designated hitter rule."

Business Risky

Some men are heterosexual, and some are bisexual, and some men don't think about sex at all... they become lawyers.

Butler Dave

There is no cure for birth and death other than to enjoy the interval.

Butler Samuel

It is when I struggle to be brief that I become obscure.

Butler Samuel

Perfection is reached, not when there is no longer anything to add, but when there is no longer anything to take away.

Butler Samuel

Call on God, but row away from the rocks.

Butler Samuel

Two can Live as Cheaply as One for Half as Long.

Butler Samuel

Once, I read that a man be never stronger than when he truly realizes how weak he is.

Butler Samuel

Mother is far too clever to understand anything she does not like.

Butler Samuel

If you only have a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail.

Bux Bastian B.

A memorandum is written not to inform the reader, but to protect the writer.

Byrnes James F.

Death is life's way of telling you you've been fired.

Bywater T.

Use what talents you possess: the woods would be very silent if no birds sang there except those that sang best.

beach. from the

"Spare no expense to save money on this one."

better. much

Random Quote

VII. Certain bodies can pass through solid walls painted to resemble tunnel entrances; others cannot. This trompe l'oeil inconsistency has baffled generations, but at least it is known that whoever paints an entrance on a wall's surface to
Esquire Jun

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