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People of privilege will always risk their complete destruction rather than surrender any material part of their advantage.

B Marion Zimmer

If you want divine justice, die.

Ba Dave

There appears to be irrefutable evidence that the mere fact of overcrowding induces violence.

Baber R.E.

If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?

Babson Roger

She cried, and the judge wiped her tears with my checkbook.

Bacall Lauren

The public demands certainties; it must be told definitely and a bit raucously that this is true and that is false. But there are no certainties.

Bach J.S.

Comparing information and knowledge is like asking whether the fatness of a pig is more or less green than the designated hitter rule."

Bach Richard

The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun.

Bacharach Burt

... a thing called Ethics, whose nature was confusing but if you had it you were a High-Class Realtor and if you hadn't you were a shyster, a piker and a fly-by-night. These virtues awakened Confidence and enabled you to handle Bigger Propositions.

Bacon Francis

For years a secret shame destroyed my peace

Bacon Francis

Beware of all enterprises that require new clothes, and not rather a new wearer of clothes.

Bacon Francis

If the colleges were better, if they really had it, you would need to get the police at the gates to keep order in the inrushing multitude. See in college how we thwart the natural love of learning by leaving the natural method of teaching what each

Bacon Francis

Three minutes' thought would suffice to find this out; but thought is irksome and three minutes is a long time.

Bacon Francis

Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

Bacon Francis

Let sleeping dogs lie.

Bacon Francis

We're living in a golden age. All you need is gold.

Bacon Francis

... but as records of courts and justice are admissible, it can easily be proved that powerful and malevolent magicians once existed and were a scourge to mankind. The evidence (including confession) upon which certain women were convicted of witch

Bailey P.J.

When in doubt, mumble; when in trouble, delegate; when in charge, ponder.

Baja Dan Jenkins

The universe is made of stories, not of atoms.

Baker Russell

When a fellow says, "It ain't the money but the principle of the thing," it's the money.

Baker Russell

There is no proverb that is not true.

Baker Russell

Aim for the moon. If you miss, you may hit a star.

Baker Russell

Just once I would like to persuade the audience not to wear any article of blue denim. If only they could see themselves in a pair of brown corduroys like mine instead of this awful, boring blue denim. I don't enjoy the sky or sea as much as I used

Baldwin James

A furore Normanorum libera nos, O Domine! [From the fury of the norsemen deliver us, O Lord!]

Baldwin Stanley

You're all clear now, kid. Now blow this thing so we can all go home.


Bullwinkle: You just leave that to my pal. He's the brains of the outfit. General: What does that make YOU? Bullwinkle: What else? An executive.

Balfour Arthur

Any priest or shaman must be presumed guilty until proved innocent.

Balliett Whitney

If little green men land in your back yard, hide any little green women you've got in the house.

Ballou Hosea

The trouble with superheros is what to do between phone booths.


Fill what's empty, empty what's full, scratch where it itches.

Balzac Honor'e de

If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.

Bandits Time

Intellect annuls Fate. So far as a man thinks, he is free.

Bankhead Tallulah

Imitation is the sincerest form of television.

Banks Russell

Never appeal to a man's "better nature." He may not have one. Invoking his self-interest gives you more leverage.

Banzai Buckaroo

I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter.

Barber Milt

Unquestionably, there is progress. The average American now pays out twice as much in taxes as he formerly got in wages.


"Well, if you can't believe what you read in a comic book, what *___can* you believe?!"

Barf Biff

I respect faith, but doubt is what gives you an education.

Barker Clive

There's nothing worse for your business than extra Santa Clauses smoking in the men's room.

Barrie J.M.

Good-bye. I am leaving because I am bored.

Barris Chuck

Reality is nothing but a collective hunch.

Barry Dave

Public use of any portable music system is a virtually guaranteed indicator of sociopathic tendencies.

Barry Dave

Suspicion always haunts the guilty mind.

Barry Dave

He who knows that enough is enough will always have enough.

Barry Dave

Every cloud engenders not a storm.

Barry Dave

Before he became a hermit, Zarathud was a young Priest, and took great delight in making fools of his opponents in front of his followers. One day Zarathud took his students to a pleasant pasture and there he confronted The Sacred Chao while She

Barry Dave

A man gazing at the stars is proverbially at the mercy of the puddles in the road.

Barry Dave

There's no such thing as a free lunch.

Barry Dave

In the first place, God made idiots; this was for practice; then he made school boards.

Barry Dave

The only happiness lies in reason; all the rest of the world is dismal. The highest reason, however, I see in the work of the artist, and he may experience it as such. Happiness lies in the swiftness of feeling and thinking: all the rest of the worl

Barry Dave

Innovation is hard to schedule.

Barry Dave


Barry Dave

We rarely find anyone who can say he has lived a happy life, and who, content with his life, can retire from the world like a satisfied guest.

Barry Dave

Big book, big bore.

Barry Dave

A horse! A horse! My kingdom for a horse!

Barry Dave

Carol's head ached as she trailed behind the unsmiling Calibrees along the block of booths. She chirruped at Kennicott, "Let's be wild! Let's ride on the merry-go-round and grab a gold ring!" Kennicott considered it, and mumbled to Calibree, "Thin

Barry Dave

I recognize terror as the finest emotion and so I will try to terrorize the reader. But if I find that I cannot terrify, I will try to horrify, and if I find that I cannot horrify, I'll go for the gross-out.

Barry Dave

If little else, the brain is an educational toy.

Barry Dave

Perhaps, after all, America never has been discovered. I myself would say that it had merely been detected.

Barry Dave

All the big corporations depreciate their possessions, and you can, too, provided you use them for business purposes. For example, if you subscribe to the Wall Street Journal, a business-related newspaper, you can deduct the cost of your house, beca

Barry Dave

Lots of folks confuse bad management with destiny.

Barry Dave

Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich.

Barry Dave

No one born with a mouth and a need is "innocent".

Barry Dave

The average Ph.D thesis is nothing but the transference of bones from one graveyard to another.

Barry Dave

Must I hold a candle to my shames?

Barry Dave

Housework can kill you if done right.

Barry Dave

"Given the choice between accomplishing something and just lying around, I'd rather lie around. No contest."

Barry Dave

There's nothing in the middle of the road but yellow stripes and dead armadillos.

Barry Dave

Yet creeds mean very little, Coth answered the dark god, still speaking almost gently. The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this is true.

Barry Dave

It seems to me that nearly every woman I know wants a man who knows how to love with authority. Women are simple souls who like simple things, and one of the simplest is one of the simplest to give. ... Our family airedale will come clear across t

Barry Dave

War is delightful to those who have had no experience of it.

Barry Dave

Grig (the navigator): ... so you see, it's just the two of us against the entire space armada. Alex (the gunner): What?!? Grig: I've always wanted to fight a desperate battle against overwhelming odds. Alex: It'll be a slaughter! Grig: That'

Barry Dave

Whenever the literary German dives into a sentence, that is the last you are going to see of him until he emerges on the other side of his Atlantic with his verb in his mouth.

Barry Dave

The whole earth is in jail and we're plotting this incredible jailbreak.

Barry Dave

I know on which side my bread is buttered.

Barry Dave

Some men are heterosexual, and some are bisexual, and some men don't think about sex at all... they become lawyers.

Barry Dave

The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence.

Barry Dave

No bird soars too high if he soars with his own wings.

Barry Dave

L'hazard ne favorise que l'esprit prepare.

Barry Dave

Everybody likes a kidder, but nobody lends him money.

Barry Dave

If I love you, what business is it of yours?

Barry Dave

When eating an elephant take one bite at a time.

Barry Dave

"It says he made us all to be just like him. So if we're dumb, then god is dumb, and maybe even a little ugly on the side."

Barry Dave

A word to the wise is enough.

Barry Dave

Man must shape his tools lest they shape him.

Barry Dave

Work is the crab grass in the lawn of life.

Barry Dave

The Anglo-Saxon conscience does not prevent the Anglo-Saxon from sinning, it merely prevents him from enjoying his sin.

Barry Dave

There is perhaps in every thing of any consequence, secret history, which it would be amusing to know, could we have it authentically communicated.

Barry Dave

I value kindness to human beings first of all, and kindness to animals. I don't respect the law; I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger, the food cheaper, and old men

Barry Dave

The trouble with this country is that there are too many politicians who believe, with a conviction based on experience, that you can fool all of the people all of the time.

Baruch B.

The primary theme of SoupCon is communication. The acronym "LEO" represents the secondary theme: Law Enforcement Officials The overall theme of SoupCon shall be: Avoiding Communication with Law Enforcement Officials

Battie Bill

If ever the pleasure of one has to be bought by the pain of the other, there better be no trade. A trade by which one gains and the other loses is a fraud.

Baudelaire Charles

There must be more to life than having everything.

Beal Louise

We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it - and stay there, lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove-lid. She will never sit down on a hot stove-lid again - and that is well; but also she will never

Bear Greg

Most Texans think Hanukkah is some sort of duck call.

Beard Charles A.

Politics is the ability to foretell what is going to happen tomorrow, next week, next month and next year. And to have the ability afterwards to explain why it didn't happen.

Beard Peter

Sherry [Thomas Sheridan] is dull, naturally dull; but it must have taken him a great deal of pains to become what we now see him. Such an excess of stupidity, sir, is not in Nature.

Beaton Cecil

The closest to perfection a person ever comes is when he fills out a job application form.

Beatty Paul

I go on working for the same reason a hen goes on laying eggs.

Beauvoir Simone de

... Our second completely true news item was sent to me by Mr. H. Boyce Connell Jr. of Atlanta, Ga., where he is involved in a law firm. One thing I like about the South is, folks there care about tradition. If somebody gets handed a name like "H.

Beck Bob

Feminists say 60 percent of the country's wealth is in the hands of women. They're letting men hold the other 40 percent because their handbags are full.

Becke Samuel

We tried to close Ohio's borders and ran into a Constitutional problem. There's a provision in the Constitution that says you can't close your borders to interstate commerce, and garbage is a form of interstate commerce.


Examinations are formidable even to the best prepared, for even the greatest fool may ask more the the wisest man can answer.

Beckett Samuel

Small things make base men proud.

Beckett Samuel

Governor Tarkin. I should have expected to find you holding Vader's leash. I thought I recognized your foul stench when I was brought on board.

Beckett Samuel

Do not despair of life. You have no doubt force enough to overcome your obstacles. Think of the fox prowling through wood and field in a winter night for something to satisfy his hunger. Notwithstanding cold and hounds and traps, his race survives

Beckman Roman

There are three reasons for becoming a writer: the first is that you need the money; the second that you have something to say that you think the world should know; the third is that you can't think what to do with the long winter evenings.

Beeblebrox Zaphod

A Tale of Two Cities LITE(tm)

Beecher Rev. Henry Ward

In Hollywood, if you don't have happiness, you send out for it.

Beer Stafford

Progress might have been all right once, but it's gone on too long.

Behan Brendan

The `loner' may be respected, but he is always resented by his colleagues, for he seems to be passing a critical judgment on them, when he may be simply making a limiting statement about himself.

Behan Brendan

Being a miner, as soon as you're too old and tired and sick and stupid to do your job properly, you have to go, where the very opposite applies with the judges.

Behan Brendan

If you live in New York, even if you're Catholic, you're Jewish.

Behan Brendan

If I have to lay an egg for my country, I'll do it.

Belloc Hilaire

Living in LA is like not having a date on Saturday night.

Bellow Saul

Do not seek death; death will find you. But seek the road which makes death a fulfillment.

Ben Franklin

Like, if I'm not for me, then fer shure, like who will be? And if, y'know, if I'm not like fer anyone else, then hey, I mean, what am I? And if not now, like I dunno, maybe like when? And if not Who, then I dunno, maybe like the Rolling Stones?

Benares Camden

After his Ignoble Disgrace, Satan was being expelled from Heaven. As he passed through the Gates, he paused a moment in thought, and turned to God and said, "A new creature called Man, I hear, is soon to be created." "This is true," He replied.

Benares Camden

Skill without imagination is craftsmanship and gives us many useful objects such as wickerwork picnic baskets. Imagination without skill gives us modern art.

Benchley Robert

When you are at Rome live in the Roman style; when you are elsewhere live as they live elsewhere.

Benchley Robert

Academic politics is the most vicious and bitter form of politics, because the stakes are so low.

Benchley Robert

What good is an obscenity trial except to popularize literature?

Benchley Robert

When I first arrived in this country I had only fifteen cents in my pocket and a willingness to compromise.


When you are about to die, a wombat is better than no company at all.

Benjamin A.

I remember once being on a station platform in Cleveland at four in the morning. A black porter was carrying my bags, and as we were waiting for the train to come in, he said to me: "Excuse me, Mr. Cooke, I don't want to invade your privacy, but I h

Bennett Alan

She cried, and the judge wiped her tears with my checkbook.

Bennett Arnold

Men of lofty genius when they are doing the least work are most active.

Bennett D.

In breeding cattle you need one bull for every twenty-five cows, unless the cows are known sluts.

Bennett James Gordon

If the path be beautiful, let us not ask where it leads.

Bennett W.C.

"Do you think there's a God?" "Well, ____SOMEbody's out to get me!"

Bennett W.C.

An Englishman never enjoys himself, except for a noble purpose.

Bergen Candice

While there's life, there's hope.

Berle Milton

You or I must yield up his life to Ahrimanes. I would rather it were you. I should have no hesitation in sacrificing my own life to spare yours, but we take stock next week, and it would not be fair on the company.

Berlioz Hector

There's such a thing as too much point on a pencil.

Berman Edgar

The streets were dark with something more than night.

Bernanos Georges

Drop the vase and it will become a Ming of the past.

Berner Jeff

Steady movement is more important than speed, much of the time. So long as there is a regular progression of stimuli to get your mental hooks into, there is room for lateral movement. Once this begins, its rate is a matter of discretion.

Berquier Edouard

A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step.

Berra Yogi

The introduction of a new kind of music must be shunned as imperiling the whole state, for styles of music are never disturbed without affecting the most important political institutions. ... The new style, gradually gaining a lodgement, quitely ins

Berra Yogi

The course of true anything never does run smooth.

Berryman John

If Christianity was morality, Socrates would be the Saviour.

Biel Gabriel

Toto, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore.

Bierce Ambrose

Educational television should be absolutely forbidden. It can only lead to unreasonable disappointment when your child discovers that the letters of the alphabet do not leap up out of books and dance around with royal-blue chickens.

Bierce Ambrose

If reporters don't know that truth is plural, they ought to be lawyers.

Bierce Ambrose

"Jesus saves...but Gretzky gets the rebound!"

Bierce Ambrose

Generally speaking, the Way of the warrior is resolute acceptance of death.

Bierce Ambrose

I appreciate the fact that this draft was done in haste, but some of the sentences that you are sending out in the world to do your work for you are loitering in taverns or asleep beside the highway.

Bierce Ambrose

The first rule of all intelligent tinkering is to keep all the parts.

Bierce Ambrose

Life is too short to be taken seriously.

Bierce Ambrose

The capacity of human beings to bore one another seems to be vastly greater than that of any other animals. Some of their most esteemed inventions have no other apparent purpose, for example, the dinner party of more than two, the epic poem, and the

Bierce Ambrose

A good plan today is better than a perfect plan tomorrow.

Bierce Ambrose

Education is what survives when what has been learnt has been forgotten.

Bilbo Baggins

Mike: "The Fourth Dimension is a shambles?" Bernie: "Nobody ever empties the ashtrays. People are SO inconsiderate."

Bill Adler

Some men are heterosexual, and some are bisexual, and some men don't think about sex at all... they become lawyers.

Bill Cain

The avoidance of taxes is the only intellectual pursuit that carries any reward.

Bill Cain

To know Edina is to reject it.

Billings Josh

If I had a formula for bypassing trouble, I would not pass it around. Trouble creates a capacity to handle it. I don't say embrace trouble; that's as bad as treating it as an enemy. But I do say meet it as a friend, for you'll see a lot of it and y

Billings Josh

Between 1950 and 1952, a bored weatherman, stationed north of Hudson Bay, left a monument that neither government nor time can eradicate. Using a bulldozer abandoned by the Air Force, he spent two years and great effort pushing boulders into a single

Billings Josh

When the English language gets in my way, I walk over it.

Billings Josh

Scratch the average female and you'll find a purring bundle... at the ready to love and honor, bake a torte and still produce quintuplets.

Billings Josh

The only really good place to buy lumber is at a store where the lumber has already been cut and attached together in the form of furniture, finished, and put inside boxes.

Billings Josh

"Rights" is a fictional abstraction. No one has "Rights", neither machines nor flesh-and-blood. Persons... have opportunities, not rights, which they use or do not use.

Billings Josh

It'll be just like Beggars' Canyon back home.

Binder Dr. L.

That government is best which governs least.

Binstead Arthur

Chance is perhaps the work of God when He did not want to sign.


None love the bearer of bad news.


My only love sprung from my only hate! Too early seen unknown, and known too late!


The fashion wears out more apparel than the man.

Bir Fred Nietzsche The

Darth Vader! Only you would be so bold!

Bismarck Otto Von

The Priest's grey nimbus in a niche where he dressed discreetly. I will not sleep here tonight. Home also I cannot go. A voice, sweetened and sustained, called to him from the sea. Turning the curve he waved his hand. A sleek brown head, a seal's,

Bismarck Otto Von

Coincidences are spiritual puns.

Bismarck Otto von

Dustin Farnum: Why, yesterday, I had the audience glued to their seats! Oliver Herford: Wonderful! Wonderful! Clever of you to think of it!

Bismarck Otto von

A memorandum is written not to inform the reader, but to protect the writer.

Bismarck Otto von

Someone did a study of the three most-often-heard phrases in New York City. One is "Hey, taxi." Two is, "What train do I take to get to Bloomingdale's?" And three is, "Don't worry. It's just a flesh wound."

Bismark Otto von

I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best.


Good salesmen and good repairmen will never go hungry.


The rule is, jam to-morrow and jam yesterday, but never jam today.

Blake William

I've touch'd the highest point of all my greatness; And from that full meridian of my glory I haste now to my setting. I shall fall, Like a bright exhalation in the evening And no man see me more.

Blake William

A fake fortuneteller can be tolerated. But an authentic soothsayer should be shot on sight. Cassandra did not get half the kicking around she deserved.

Blake William

Learning without thought is labor lost; thought without learning is perilous.

Blake William

She is not refined. She is not unrefined. She keeps a parrot.

Blake William

The so-called lessons of history are for the most part the rationalizations of the victors. History is written by the survivors.

Blaylock James P.

No excellent soul is exempt from a mixture of madness.

Blaylock James P.

Luck, that's when preparation and opportunity meet.

Blaylock James P.

I just asked myself... what would John DeLorean do?

Blaylock James P.

The cart has no place where a fifth wheel could be used.

Blish James

Rotten wood cannot be carved.


"I wonder", he said to himself, "what's in a book while it's closed. Oh, I know it's full of letters printed on paper, but all the same, something must be happening, because as soon as I open it, there's a whole story with people I don't know yet


God is the tangential point between zero and infinity.

Bo Napoleon

The way I understand it, the Russians are sort of a combination of evil and incompetence... sort of like the Post Office with tanks.

Bo Napoleon

Optimism is the content of small men in high places.

Bob Cary Grant

The nearer to the church, the further from God.

Bob Dylan

Alas, I am dying beyond my means.

Boffo Mister

The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.

Bogart Humphrey

The best executive is one who has sense enough to pick good people to do what he wants done, and self-restraint enough to keep from meddling with them while they do it.

Bogart Humphrey

Writing is turning one's worst moments into money.

Bohr Niels

Mirrors should reflect a little before throwing back images.

Boleyn Anne

Prizes are for children.

Bombeck Erma

"All snakes who wish to remain in Ireland will please raise their right hands."

Bombeck Erma

Modern art is what happens when painters stop looking at girls and persuade themselves that they have a better idea.

Bon John Dillinger on

The most difficult thing in the world is to know how to do a thing and to watch someone else doing it wrong, without commenting.

Bono Ed De

You should never wear your best trousers when you go out to fight for freedom and liberty.

Bonzai Buckaroo

Once he had one leg in the White House and the nation trembled under his roars. Now he is a tinpot pope in the Coca-Cola belt and a brother to the forlorn pastors who belabor halfwits in galvanized iron tabernacles behind the railroad yards."

Boorstin Daniel J.

It has been said [by Anatole France], "it is not by amusing oneself that one learns," and, in reply: "it is *____only* by amusing oneself that one can learn."

Boren James H.

The ripest fruit falls first.

Borge Victor

The Crown is full of it!

Bosky Bernadette

Where there is much light there is also much shadow.

Bosquet Pierre

Most general statements are false, including this one.

Bossert W.

Judges, as a class, display, in the matter of arranging alimony, that reckless generosity which is found only in men who are giving away someone else's cash.

Boswell James

My theology, briefly, is that the universe was dictated but not signed.

Bowie David

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.

Bowles Colin

Don't everyone thank me at once!

Bowles Colin

Happiness isn't something you experience; it's something you remember.

Bradbury Ray

This was the most unkindest cut of all.

Bradley F.H.

The profession of book writing makes horse racing seem like a solid, stable business.

Bradley General Omar N.

A vacuum is a hell of a lot better than some of the stuff that nature replaces it with.

Bramah Ernest

It is a profitable thing, if one is wise, to seem foolish.

Brandeis Justice Louis D.

The only thing that experience teaches us is that experience teaches us nothing.

Brando Marlon

Never invest your money in anything that eats or needs repainting.

Brando Marlon

Star Wars is adolescent nonsense; Close Encounters is obscurantist drivel; Star Trek can turn your brains to puree of bat guano; and the greatest science fiction series of all time is Doctor Who! And I'll take you all on, one-by-one or all in a bunc

Brant Sebastian

Go ahead... make my day.

Braun Wernher von

Trust in Allah, but tie your camel.

Brecher K.

You can tell the ideals of a nation by its advertisements.

Brecheux J.

It is something to be able to paint a particular picture, or to carve a statue, and so to make a few objects beautiful; but it is far more glorious to carve and paint the very atmosphere and medium through which we look, which morally we can do. T

Brecht Bertold

By protracting life, we do not deduct one jot from the duration of death.

Brecht Bertolt

... difference of opinion is advantagious in religion. The several sects perform the office of a common censor morum over each other. Is uniformity attainable? Millions of innocent men, women, and children, since the introduction of Christianity,

Brecht Bertolt

The executioner is, I hear, very expert, and my neck is very slender.

Brecht Bertolt

"You mean, if you allow the master to be uncivil, to treat you any old way he likes, and to insult your dignity, then he may deem you fit to hear his view of things?" "Quite the contrary. You must defend your integrity, assuming you have integrit

Brecht Bertolt

Lassie looked brilliant, in part because the farm family she lived with was made up of idiots. Remember? One of them was always getting pinned under the tractor, and Lassie was always rushing back to the farmhouse to alert the other ones. She'd w

Brecht Bertolt

All men know the utility of useful things; but they do not know the utility of futility.

Brecht Bertolt

Beauty is one of the rare things which does not lead to doubt of God.

Brecht Bertolt

Politics, like religion, hold up the torches of matrydom to the reformers of error.

Brenan Gerald

Patch griefs with proverbs.

Brescia Albertano of

All religions issue Bibles against Satan, and say the most injurious things against him, but we never hear his side.

Brian Herbert

October. This is one of the peculiarly dangerous months to speculate in stocks in. The others are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, December, August, and February.

Briggs Austen

No man's ambition has a right to stand in the way of performing a simple act of justice.

Brilliant Ashleigh

Swerve me? The path to my fixed purpose is laid with iron rails, whereon my soul is grooved to run. Over unsounded gorges, through the rifled hearts of mountains, under torrents' beds, unerringly I rush!

Brilliant Ashleigh

A lie is an abomination unto the Lord and a very present help in time of trouble.

Brilliant Ashleigh

The possession of a book becomes a substitute for reading it.

Brilliant Ashleigh

Money can't buy happiness, but it can make you awfully comfortable while you're being miserable.

Brilliant Ashleigh

Ask not for whom the Bell tolls, and you will pay only the station-to-station rate.

Broder David

It's not so hard to lift yourself by your bootstraps once you're off the ground.

Brodsky Joseph

If a thing's worth having, it's worth cheating for.

Brogan Colm

Everything is possible. Pass the word.

Brooks Mel

The United States is like the guy at the party who gives cocaine to everybody and still nobody likes him.

Brooks Atkinson

She cried, and the judge wiped her tears with my checkbook.

Brooks Mel

Fortune Documents the Great Legal Decisions: We think that we may take judicial notice of the fact that the term "bitch" may imply some feeling of endearment when applied to a female of the canine species but that it is seldom, if ever, so used whe

Brooks Mel

There is nothing so easy but that it becomes difficult when you do it reluctantly.

Brothers The Blues

Look ere ye leap.

Brothers The Blues

Getting kicked out of the American Bar Association is liked getting kicked out of the Book-of-the-Month Club.

Broughton Philip

When I have one foot in the grave I will tell the truth about women. I shall tell it, jump into my coffin, pull the lid over me, and say, "Do what you like now."

Brow John Mason

For fools rush in where angels fear to tread.

Brow John Mason

Some performers on television appear to be horrible people, but when you finally get to know them in person, they turn out to be even worse.

Brown Governor Jerry

What an author likes to write most is his signature on the back of a cheque.

Brown Rita Mae

It doesn't matter whether you win or lose

Browning Robert

Acting is not very hard. The most important things are to be able to laugh and cry. If I have to cry, I think of my sex life. And if I have to laugh, well, I think of my sex life.

Bruce Lenny

What does it take for Americans to do great things; to go to the moon, to win wars, to dig canals linking oceans, to build railroads across a continent? In independent thought about this question, Neil Armstrong and I concluded that it takes a coinci

Bruce Lenny

What a strange game. The only winning move is not to play.

Bruce Lenny

I always wake up at the crack of ice.

Bruce Lenny

Those who profess to favor freedom, and yet deprecate agitation, are men who want rain without thunder and lightning. They want the ocean without the roar of its many waters.

Bruce Lenny

It is Mr. Mellon's credo that $200,000,000 can do no wrong. Our offense consists in doubting it.

Bruce Lenny

I heard a definition of an intellectual, that I thought was very interesting: a man who takes more words than are necessary to tell more than he knows.

Bruce Lenny

Bingo, gas station, hamburger with a side order of airplane noise, and you'll be Gary, Indiana.

Bruce Lenny

Murray and Esther, a middle-aged Jewish couple, are touring Chile. Murray just got a new camera and is constantly snapping pictures. One day, without knowing it, he photographs a top-secret military installation. In an instant, armed troops surroun

Bruce Lenny

For certain people, after fifty, litigation takes the place of sex.

Bruce Lenny

"I'd like to start a new religion. One that doesn't use a dead young man as its logo."

Bruce Lenny

One learns to itch where one can scratch.

Brunner John

I played lead guitar in a band called The Federal Duck, which is the kind of name that was popular in the '60s as a result of controlled substances being in widespread use. Back then, there were no restrictions, in terms of talent, on who could make

Bruyere Jean de la

So little time, so little to do.

Bry Yul

Please try to limit the amount of "this room doesn't have any bazingas" until you are told that those rooms are "punched out." Once punched out, we have a right to complain about atrocities, missing bazingas, and such.

Bryson Lyman

Plato, by the way, wanted to banish all poets from his proposed Utopia because they were liars. The truth was that Plato knew philosophers couldn't compete successfully with poets.

Buckley Lord

The mome rath isn't born that could outgrabe me.

Buckley William F.

The graveyards are full of indispensable men.

Buckley William F.

Many of the characters are fools and they are always playing tricks on me and treating me badly.

Buddha Gotama

Once there lived a village of creatures along the bottom of a great crystal river. Each creature in its own manner clung tightly to the twigs and rocks of the river bottom, for clinging was their way of life, and resisting the current what each had

Bullwinkle Rocky and

Certain passages in several laws have always defied interpretation and the most inexplicable must be a matter of opinion. A judge of the Court of Session of Scotland has sent the editors of this book his candidate which reads, "In the Nuts (unground

Bullwinkle J. Moose

Americans' greatest fear is that America will turn out to have been a phenomenon, not a civilization.

Bulwer-Ly Grand Panjandrum

If you would know the value of money, go try to borrow some.


God helps them that help themselves.


Art is a jealous mistress.


He draweth out the thread of his verbosity finer than the staple of his argument.


The old complaint that mass culture is designed for eleven-year-olds is of course a shameful canard. The key age has traditionally been more like fourteen.

Bumstead Dagwood

The Hollywood tradition I like best is called "sucking up to the stars."

Bungei Shunju

Ignorance is never out of style. It was in fashion yesterday, it is the rage today, and it will set the pace tomorrow.

Buren Abigail Van

Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet?

Buren Abigail Van

The control of the production of wealth is the control of human life itself.

Burgess Anthony

Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you.

Burgess Philip Larkin on Anthony

Confucius say too much.

Burke James

The English instinctively admire any man who has no talent and is modest about it.

Burnham Daniel Hudson

Without adventure, civilization is in full decay.

Burns George

For myself, I can only say that I am astonished and somewhat terrified at the results of this evening's experiments. Astonished at the wonderful power you have developed, and terrified at the thought that so much hideous and bad music may be put on

Burns George

There has been a little distress selling on the stock exchange.

Burroughs William

If men are not afraid to die, it is of no avail to threaten them with death. If men live in constant fear of dying, And if breaking the law means a man will be killed, Who will dare to break the law? There is always an official executioner. If

Burroughs William S.

The dirty work at political conventions is almost always done in the grim hours between midnight and dawn. Hangmen and politicians work best when the human spirit is at its lowest ebb.

Burt Lanier Safford III

"Rembrandt's first name was Beauregard, which is why he never used it."

Burton Robert

But you shall not escape my iambics.

Burton Sir Richard

At ebb tide I wrote a line upon the sand, and gave it all my heart and all my soul. At flood tide I returned to read what I had inscribed and found my ignorance upon the shore.

Burton Sir Richard

What passes for optimism is most often the effect of an intellectual error.

Business Risky

Hain't we got all the fools in town on our side? And hain't that a big enough majority in any town?

Butler Dave

Politics makes strange bedfellows, and journalism makes strange politics.

Butler Samuel

The major sin is the sin of being born.

Butler Samuel

Honesty is for the most part less profitable than dishonesty.

Butler Samuel

You never have to change anything you got up in the middle of the night to write.

Butler Samuel

Don't guess

Butler Samuel

In "King Henry VI, Part II," Shakespeare has Dick Butcher suggest to his fellow anti-establishment rabble-rousers, "The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers." That action may be extreme but a similar sentiment was expressed by Thomas K. Co

Butler Samuel

Art is either plagiarism or revolution.

Butler Samuel

Indiana is a state dedicated to basketball. Basketball, soybeans, hogs and basketball. Berkeley, needless to say, is not nearly as athletic. Berkeley is dedicated to coffee, angst, potholes and coffee.

Bux Bastian B.

I value kindness to human beings first of all, and kindness to animals. I don't respect the law; I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger, the food cheaper, and old men

Byrnes James F.

The plot was designed in a light vein that somehow became varicose.

Bywater T.

No group of professionals meets except to conspire against the public at large.

beach. from the

Heaven and earth were created all together in the same instant, on October 23rd, 4004 B.C. at nine o'clock in the morning.

better. much

Random Quote

Dying is easy. Comedy is difficult.
Gween Actor Edmond

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