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Ten years of rejection slips is nature's way of telling you to stop writing.

B Marion Zimmer

If one inquires why the American tradition is so strong against any connection of State and Church, why it dreads even the rudiments of religious teaching in state-maintained schools, the immediate and superficial answer is not far to seek. ... The

Ba Dave

Judges, as a class, display, in the matter of arranging alimony, that reckless generosity which is found only in men who are giving away someone else's cash.

Baber R.E.

Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamp-post how it feels about dogs.

Babson Roger

A word to the wise is enough.

Bacall Lauren

War hath no fury like a non-combatant.

Bach J.S.

Love may laugh at locksmiths, but he has a profound respect for money bags.

Bach Richard

A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on.

Bacharach Burt

We can embody the truth, but we cannot know it.

Bacon Francis

were found to be wearing neckwear that was tighter than their neck circumference. The visual discrimination of the 22 subjects was evaluated using a critical flicker frequency (CFF) test. Results of the CFF test indicated that tight neckwear signifi

Bacon Francis

CF&C stole it, fair and square.

Bacon Francis

There is no fool to the old fool.

Bacon Francis

Likewise, the national appetizer, brine-cured herring with raw onions, wins few friends, Germans excepted.

Bacon Francis

Even if you do learn to speak correct English, whom are you going to speak it to?

Bacon Francis

In "King Henry VI, Part II," Shakespeare has Dick Butcher suggest to his fellow anti-establishment rabble-rousers, "The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers." That action may be extreme but a similar sentiment was expressed by Thomas K. Co

Bacon Francis

From the cradle to the coffin underwear comes first.

Bacon Francis

For the first time we have a weapon that nobody has used for thirty years. This gives me great hope for the human race.

Bailey P.J.

This was the most unkindest cut of all.

Baja Dan Jenkins

The naked truth of it is, I have no shirt.

Baker Russell

Democracy is a device that insures we shall be governed no better than we deserve.

Baker Russell

Fanaticism consists of redoubling your effort when you have forgotten your aim.

Baker Russell

The control of the production of wealth is the control of human life itself.

Baker Russell

As to Jesus of Nazareth... I think the system of Morals and his Religion, as he left them to us, the best the World ever saw or is likely to see; but I apprehend it has received various corrupting Changes, and I have, with most of the present Dissent

Baldwin James

The only "ism" Hollywood believes in is plagiarism.

Baldwin Stanley

There's nothing worse for your business than extra Santa Clauses smoking in the men's room.


I understand why you're confused. You're thinking too much.

Balfour Arthur

The mosquito is the state bird of New Jersey.

Balliett Whitney

I reverently believe that the maker who made us all makes everything in New England, but the weather. I don't know who makes that, but I think it must be raw apprentices in the weather-clerks factory who experiment and learn how, in New England, fo

Ballou Hosea

No good deed goes unpunished.


Time as he grows old teaches all things.

Balzac Honor'e de

No-one would remember the Good Samaritan if he had only had good intentions. He had money as well.

Bandits Time

When the going gets tough, everyone leaves.

Bankhead Tallulah

A real diplomat is one who can cut his neighbor's throat without having his neighbour notice it.

Banks Russell

An actor's a guy who if you ain't talkin' about him, ain't listening.

Banzai Buckaroo

Those who profess to favor freedom, and yet deprecate agitation, are men who want rain without thunder and lightning. They want the ocean without the roar of its many waters.

Barber Milt

Most general statements are false, including this one.


A journey of a thousand miles starts under one's feet.

Barf Biff

The first Rotarian was the first man to call John the Baptist "Jack."

Barker Clive

Free Speech Is The Right To Shout 'Theater' In A Crowded Fire.

Barrie J.M.

Mental power tended to corrupt, and absolute intelligence tended to corrupt absolutely, until the victim eschewed violence entirely in favor of smart solutions to stupid problems.

Barris Chuck

Christianity has not been tried and found wanting; it has been found difficult and not tried.

Barry Dave

History is the version of past events that people have decided to agree on.

Barry Dave

If you are of the opinion that the contemplation of suicide is sufficient evidence of a poetic nature, do not forget that actions speak louder than words.

Barry Dave

The superior man understands what is right; the inferior man understands what will sell.

Barry Dave

The Public is merely a multiplied "me."

Barry Dave

... it still remains true that as a set of cognitive beliefs about the existence of God in any recognizable sense continuous with the great systems of the past, religious doctrines constitute a speculative hypothesis of an extremely low order of prob

Barry Dave

Suspicion always haunts the guilty mind.

Barry Dave

Only those who leisurely approach that which the masses are busy about can be busy about that which the masses take leisurely.

Barry Dave

Ignorance is never out of style. It was in fashion yesterday, it is the rage today, and it will set the pace tomorrow.

Barry Dave

No man's ambition has a right to stand in the way of performing a simple act of justice.

Barry Dave

An atom-blaster is a good weapon, but it can point both ways.

Barry Dave

It is the business of the future to be dangerous.

Barry Dave

April 1 This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four.

Barry Dave

We should have a Vollyballocracy. We elect a six-pack of presidents. Each one serves until they screw up, at which point they rotate.

Barry Dave

Small things make base men proud.

Barry Dave

The very ink with which all history is written is merely fluid prejudice.

Barry Dave

You have to run as fast as you can just to stay where you are. If you want to get anywhere, you'll have to run much faster.

Barry Dave

Conscience doth make cowards of us all.

Barry Dave

So many men, so many opinions; every one his own way.

Barry Dave

What a bonanza! An unknown beginner to be directed by Lubitsch, in a script by Wilder and Brackett, and to play with Paramount's two superstars, Gary Cooper and Claudette Colbert, and to be beaten up by both of them!

Barry Dave

The only cultural advantage LA has over NY is that you can make a right turn on a red light.

Barry Dave

The error of youth is to believe that intelligence is a substitute for experience, while the error of age is to believe experience is a substitute for intelligence.

Barry Dave

Nothing in life is so exhilarating as to be shot at without result.

Barry Dave

If you would know the value of money, go try to borrow some.

Barry Dave

It'll be just like Beggars' Canyon back home.

Barry Dave

"I'd like to start a new religion. One that doesn't use a dead young man as its logo."

Barry Dave

According to my best recollection, I don't remember.

Barry Dave

Don't everyone thank me at once!

Barry Dave

Superstition, idolatry, and hypocrisy have ample wages, but truth goes a-begging.

Barry Dave

Water, taken in moderation cannot hurt anybody.

Barry Dave

God instructs the heart, not by ideas, but by pains and contradictions.

Barry Dave

I know on which side my bread is buttered.

Barry Dave

A game can by God repent or we'll punish it. That's how they did it in Salem in the seventeenth century, and that's how we'll do it now.

Barry Dave

Extremism in the defense of liberty is no vice... moderation in the pursuit of justice is no virtue.

Barry Dave

Don't talk to me about naval tradition. It's nothing but rum, sodomy and the lash.

Barry Dave

Force has no place where there is need of skill.

Barry Dave

Necessity hath no law.

Barry Dave

A racially integrated community is a chronological term timed from the entrance of the first black family to the exit of the last white family.

Barry Dave

If you sell diamonds, you cannot expect to have many customers. But a diamond is a diamond even if there are no customers.

Barry Dave

We were young and our happiness dazzled us with its strength. But there was also a terrible betrayal that lay within me like a Merle Haggard song at a French restaurant. [...] I could not tell the girl about the woman of the tollway, of her milk w

Barry Dave

Rome was not built in one day.

Barry Dave

If Beethoven's Seventh Symphony is not by some means abridged, it will soon fall into disuse.

Barry Dave

He thought of Musashi, the Sword Saint, standing in his garden more than three hundred years ago. "What is the 'Body of a rock'?" he was asked. In answer, Musashi summoned a pupil of his and bid him kill himself by slashing his abdomen with a knife.

Barry Dave

The eye is a menace to clear sight, the ear is a menace to subtle hearing, the mind is a menace to wisdom, every organ of the senses is a menace to its own capacity. ... Fuss, the god of the Southern Ocean, and Fret, the god of the Northern Ocean, h

Barry Dave

A people living under the perpetual menace of war and invasion is very easy to govern. It demands no social reforms. It does not haggle over expenditures on armaments and military equipment. It pays without discussion, it ruins itself, and that is

Barry Dave

... but as records of courts and justice are admissible, it can easily be proved that powerful and malevolent magicians once existed and were a scourge to mankind. The evidence (including confession) upon which certain women were convicted of witch

Barry Dave

When we are planning for posterity, we ought to remember that virtue is not hereditary.

Barry Dave

In the Spring, I have counted 136 different kinds of weather inside of 24 hours.

Barry Dave

For courage mounteth with occasion.

Barry Dave

I think we're in trouble.

Baruch B.

I see where we are starting to pay some attention to our neigbors to the south. We could never understand why Mexico wasn't just crazy about us; for we have always had their good will, and oil and minerals, at heart.

Battie Bill

It's not easy, being green.

Baudelaire Charles

Americans' greatest fear is that America will turn out to have been a phenomenon, not a civilization.

Beal Louise

By protracting life, we do not deduct one jot from the duration of death.

Bear Greg

All the big corporations depreciate their possessions, and you can, too, provided you use them for business purposes. For example, if you subscribe to the Wall Street Journal, a business-related newspaper, you can deduct the cost of your house, beca

Beard Charles A.

If you catch a man, throw him back.

Beard Peter

It is by the fortune of God that, in this country, we have three benefits: freedom of speech, freedom of thought, and the wisdom never to use either.

Beaton Cecil

Anything that is worth doing has been done frequently. Things hitherto undone should be given, I suspect, a wide berth.

Beatty Paul

Fortune's Guide to Freshman Notetaking: WHEN THE PROFESSOR SAYS: YOU WRITE: Probably the greatest quality of the poetry John Milton

Beauvoir Simone de

Let's say your wedding ring falls into your toaster, and when you stick your hand in to retrieve it, you suffer Pain and Suffering as well as Mental Anguish. You would sue: * The toaster manufacturer, for failure to include, in the instructions

Beck Bob

The good Christian should beware of mathematicians and all those who make empty prophecies. The danger already exists that mathematicians have made a covenant with the devil to darken the spirit and confine man in the bonds of Hell.

Becke Samuel

Nullum magnum ingenium sine mixtura dementiae fuit. [There is no great genius without some touch of madness.]


IF I HAD A MINE SHAFT, I don't think I would just abandon it. There's got to be a better way.

Beckett Samuel

It is impossible to enjoy idling thoroughly unless one has plenty of work to do.

Beckett Samuel

Business will be either better or worse.

Beckett Samuel

Comparing information and knowledge is like asking whether the fatness of a pig is more or less green than the designated hitter rule."

Beckman Roman

Toto, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore.

Beeblebrox Zaphod

Better tried by twelve than carried by six.

Beecher Rev. Henry Ward

The root of all superstition is that men observe when a thing hits, but not when it misses.

Beer Stafford

The faster I go, the behinder I get.

Behan Brendan

Mum's the word.

Behan Brendan

He who fears the unknown may one day flee from his own backside.

Behan Brendan

If it were thought that anything I wrote was influenced by Robert Frost, I would take that particular work of mine, shred it, and flush it down the toilet, hoping not to clog the pipes. A more sententious, holding- forth old bore who expected every

Behan Brendan

Being a woman is a terribly difficult trade, since it consists principally of dealings with men.

Belloc Hilaire

As to the Adjective: when in doubt, strike it out.

Bellow Saul

A kind of Batman of contemporary letters.

Ben Franklin

Show business is just like high school, except you get paid.

Benares Camden

This is an especially good time for you vacationers who plan to fly, because the Reagan administration, as part of the same policy under which it recently sold Yellowstone National Park to Wayne Newton, has "deregulated" the airline industry. What t

Benares Camden

In charity there is no excess.

Benchley Robert

Silence is the element in which great things fashion themselves.

Benchley Robert

What we wish, that we readily believe.

Benchley Robert

I go on working for the same reason a hen goes on laying eggs.

Benchley Robert

An Englishman never enjoys himself, except for a noble purpose.


The typewriting machine, when played with expression, is no more annoying than the piano when played by a sister or near relation.

Benjamin A.

When a fellow says, "It ain't the money but the principle of the thing," it's the money.

Bennett Alan

Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.

Bennett Arnold

Learning without thought is labor lost; thought without learning is perilous.

Bennett D.

Who goeth a-borrowing goeth a-sorrowing.

Bennett James Gordon

Television is now so desperately hungry for material that it is scraping the top of the barrel.

Bennett W.C.

What we cannot speak about we must pass over in silence.

Bennett W.C.

About the time we think we can make ends meet, somebody moves the ends.

Bergen Candice

Cutting the space budget really restores my faith in humanity. It eliminates dreams, goals, and ideals and lets us get straight to the business of hate, debauchery, and self-annihilation."

Berle Milton

War is like love, it always finds a way.

Berlioz Hector

All this wheeling and dealing around, why, it isn't for money, it's for fun. Money's just the way we keep score.

Berman Edgar

A team effort is a lot of people doing what I say.

Bernanos Georges

It took me fifteen years to discover that I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by that time I was too famous.

Berner Jeff

No poet or novelist wishes he was the only one who ever lived, but most of them wish they were the only one alive, and quite a number fondly believe their wish has been granted.

Berquier Edouard

You can build a throne out of bayonets, but you can't sit on it for very long.

Berra Yogi

Look, we trade every day out there with hustlers, deal-makers, shysters, con-men. That's the way businesses get started. That's the way this country was built.

Berra Yogi

If you live long enough, you'll see that every victory turns into a defeat.

Berryman John

The Bible says that woman was the last thing God made. Evidently He made her on Saturday night. She reveals his fatigue.

Biel Gabriel

The graveyards are full of indispensable men.

Bierce Ambrose

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?

Bierce Ambrose

Television is a medium because anything well done is rare.

Bierce Ambrose

TO THOSE OF YOU WHO DESIRE IT, I GRANT YOU MADRAK'S BLESSING: Insofar as I may be heard by anything, which may or may not care what I say, I ask, if it matters, that you be forgiven for anything you may have done or failed to do which requires for

Bierce Ambrose

The lawgiver, of all beings, most owes the law allegiance. He of all men should behave as though the law compelled him. But it is the universal weakness of mankind that what we are given to administer we presently imagine we own.

Bierce Ambrose

The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence.

Bierce Ambrose

I used to be disgusted, now I find I'm just amused.

Bierce Ambrose

If I had a plantation in Georgia and a home in Hell, I'd sell the plantation and go home.

Bierce Ambrose

The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that, you've got it made.

Bierce Ambrose

A fake fortuneteller can be tolerated. But an authentic soothsayer should be shot on sight. Cassandra did not get half the kicking around she deserved.

Bierce Ambrose

One hundred women are not worth a single testicle.

Bilbo Baggins

Confucius say too much.

Bill Adler

It's not Camelot, but it's not Cleveland, either.

Bill Cain

Satire is tragedy plus time.

Bill Cain

Watch your mouth, kid, or you'll find yourself floating home.

Billings Josh

Naked children have never played in _o_u_r fountains, and I.M. Pei will never be happy on Route 66.

Billings Josh

I went to a Grateful Dead Concert and they played for SEVEN hours. Great song.

Billings Josh

If ever the pleasure of one has to be bought by the pain of the other, there better be no trade. A trade by which one gains and the other loses is a fraud.

Billings Josh

Even the best of friends cannot attend each other's funeral.

Billings Josh

Every why hath a wherefore.

Billings Josh

In breeding cattle you need one bull for every twenty-five cows, unless the cows are known sluts.

Billings Josh

I consider a new device or technology to have been culturally accepted when it has been used to commit a murder.

Binder Dr. L.

Nothing matters very much, and few things matter at all.

Binstead Arthur

Nothing succeeds like the appearance of success.


A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step.


A society in which women are taught anything but the management of a family, the care of men, and the creation of the future generation is a society which is on its way out.


The smallest worm will turn being trodden on.

Bir Fred Nietzsche The

The two most beautiful words in the English language are "Cheque Enclosed."

Bismarck Otto Von

I try to keep an open mind, but not so open that my brains fall out.

Bismarck Otto Von

She was good at playing abstract confusion in the same way a midget is good at being short.

Bismarck Otto von

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.

Bismarck Otto von

The best case: Get salary from America, build a house in England, live with a Japanese wife, and eat Chinese food. Pretty good case: Get salary from England, build a house in America, live with a Chinese wife, and eat Japanese food. The wo

Bismarck Otto von

He played the king as if afraid someone else would play the ace.

Bismark Otto von

Leave no stone unturned.


In childhood a woman must be subject to her father; in youth to her husband; when her husband is dead, to her sons. A woman must never be free of subjugation.


If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.

Blake William

I have never understood this liking for war. It panders to instincts already catered for within the scope of any respectable domestic establishment.

Blake William

In America, any boy may become president and I suppose that's just one of the risks he takes.

Blake William

When you're in command, command.

Blake William

Nonsense and beauty have close connections.

Blake William

Work is the crab grass in the lawn of life.

Blaylock James P.

Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.

Blaylock James P.

"What the hell are you getting so upset about? I thought you didn't believe in God." "I don't," she sobbed, bursting violently into tears, "but the God I don't believe in is a good God, a just God, a merciful God. He's not the mean and stupid Go

Blaylock James P.

The past always looks better than it was. It's only pleasant because it isn't here.

Blaylock James P.

"If a camel flies, no one laughs if it doesn't get very far."

Blish James

Advertising is a valuable economic factor because it is the cheapest way of selling goods, particularly if the goods are worthless.


Alea iacta est. [The die is cast]


Arrakis teaches the attitude of the knife - chopping off what's incomplete and saying: "Now it's complete because it's ended here."

Bo Napoleon

Anything is possible on paper.

Bo Napoleon

Crucifixes are sexy because there's a naked man on them.

Bob Cary Grant

My experience with government is when things are non-controversial, beautifully co-ordinated and all the rest, it must be that not much is going on.

Bob Dylan

It is imperative when flying coach that you restrain any tendency toward the vividly imaginative. For although it may momentarily appear to be the case, it is not at all likely that the cabin is entirely inhabited by crying babies smoking inexpensiv

Boffo Mister

A sad spectacle. If they be inhabited, what a scope for misery and folly. If they be not inhabited, what a waste of space.

Bogart Humphrey

The more I want to get something done, the less I call it work.

Bogart Humphrey

And they mainly want to teach them not to question, not to imagine, but to be obedient and behave well so that they can hold them forever as children to their bosom as the second millennium lurches toward its panicky close.

Bohr Niels

"World conquerors sometimes become fools, but fools never become world conquerors."

Boleyn Anne

If I had any humility I would be perfect.

Bombeck Erma

America is a melting pot. You know, where those on the bottom get burned, and the scum rises to the top.

Bombeck Erma

The Law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich, as well as the poor, to sleep under the bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread.

Bon John Dillinger on

Never promise more than you can perform.

Bono Ed De

Hard reality has a way of cramping your style.

Bonzai Buckaroo

This is the sort of English up with which I will not put.

Boorstin Daniel J.

Mandrell: "You know what I think?" Doctor: "Ah, ah that's a catch question. With a brain your size you don't think, right?"

Boren James H.

We have nowhere else to go... this is all we have.

Borge Victor

Nothing recedes like success.

Bosky Bernadette

The human race is a race of cowards; and I am not only marching in that procession but carrying a banner.

Bosquet Pierre

Beware of mathematicians and all those who make empty prophecies. The danger already exists that the mathematicians have made covenant with the devil to darken the spirit and to confine man in the bonds of hell.

Bossert W.

The polite thing to do has always been to address people as they wish to be addressed, to treat them in a way they think dignified. But it is equally important to accept and tolerate different standards of courtesy, not expecting everyone else to ad

Boswell James

A good question is never answered. It is not a bolt to be tightened into place but a seed to be planted and to bear more seed toward the hope of greening the landscape of idea.

Bowie David

Fortune Documents the Great Legal Decisions: We think that we may take judicial notice of the fact that the term "bitch" may imply some feeling of endearment when applied to a female of the canine species but that it is seldom, if ever, so used whe

Bowles Colin

If a man stay away from his wife for seven years, the law presumes the separation to have killed him; yet according to our daily experience, it might well prolong his life.

Bowles Colin

The public is an old woman. Let her maunder and mumble.

Bradbury Ray

Adde parvum parvo manus acervus erit. [Add little to little and there will be a big pile.]

Bradley F.H.

"You can't survive by sucking the juice from a wet mitten."

Bradley General Omar N.

Optimism is the content of small men in high places.

Bramah Ernest

In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes.

Brandeis Justice Louis D.

They sentenced me to twenty years of boredom for trying to change the system from within. I'm coming now I'm coming to reward them. First we take Manhattan, then we take Berlin. I'm guided by a signal in the heavens. I'm guided by this birthmark

Brando Marlon

If a thing's worth having, it's worth cheating for.

Brando Marlon

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.

Brant Sebastian

Credit ... is the only enduring testimonial to man's confidence in man.

Braun Wernher von

A Tale of Two Cities LITE(tm)

Brecher K.

Divorce is a game played by lawyers.

Brecheux J.

Ever get the feeling that the world's on tape and one of the reels is missing?

Brecht Bertold

I will make you shorter by the head.

Brecht Bertolt

My dear People. My dear Bagginses and Boffins, and my dear Tooks and Brandybucks, and Grubbs, and Chubbs, and Burrowses, and Hornblowers, and Bolgers, Bracegirdles, Goodbodies, Brockhouses and Proudfoots. Also my good Sackville Bagginses that I w

Brecht Bertolt

It is through symbols that man consciously or unconsciously lives, works and has his being.

Brecht Bertolt

"I don't know whether God exists or not, but it makes no difference to me." "It's not like He's passing out free money or anything."

Brecht Bertolt

You can no more win a war than you can win an earthquake.

Brecht Bertolt

Women of genius commonly have masculine faces, figures and manners. In transplanting brains to an alien soil God leaves a little of the original earth clinging to the roots.

Brecht Bertolt

Patch griefs with proverbs.

Brecht Bertolt

Practice is the best of all instructors.

Brenan Gerald

In case of fire, stand in the hall and shout "Fire!"

Brescia Albertano of

Honesty's the best policy.

Brian Herbert

The problem with any unwritten law is that you don't know where to go to erase it.

Briggs Austen

The Anglo-Saxon conscience does not prevent the Anglo-Saxon from sinning, it merely prevents him from enjoying his sin.

Brilliant Ashleigh

There's nothing in the middle of the road but yellow stripes and dead armadillos.

Brilliant Ashleigh

To be or not to be.

Brilliant Ashleigh

People never lie so much as after a hunt, during a war, or before an election.

Brilliant Ashleigh

Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils.

Brilliant Ashleigh

If someone had told me I would be Pope one day, I would have studied harder.

Broder David

When asked by an anthropologist what the Indians called America before the white men came, an Indian said simply "Ours."

Brodsky Joseph

"A Mormon is a man that has the bad taste and the religion to do what a good many other people are restrained from doing by conscientious scruples and the police."

Brogan Colm

The chief cause of problems is solutions.

Brooks Mel

The trouble is, there is an endless supply of White Men, but there has always been a limited number of Human Beings.

Brooks Atkinson

There's no such thing as a free lunch.

Brooks Mel

Blessed are the young, for they shall inherit the national debt.

Brooks Mel

Laws are like sausages. It's better not to see them being made.

Brothers The Blues

It is the quality rather than the quantity that matters.

Brothers The Blues

Being a miner, as soon as you're too old and tired and sick and stupid to do your job properly, you have to go, where the very opposite applies with the judges.

Broughton Philip

Gay shlafen: Yiddish for "go to sleep". Now doesn't "gay shlafen" have a softer, more soothing sound than the harsh, staccato "go to sleep"? Listen to the difference: "Go to sleep, you little wretch!" ... "Gay shlafen, darling." Obvious, isn't

Brow John Mason

The less a statesman amounts to, the more he loves the flag.

Brow John Mason

If you want to know what god thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.

Brown Governor Jerry

Everything is possible. Pass the word.

Brown Rita Mae

Inglish Spocken Hier: some mangled translations Sign on a cabin door of a Soviet Black Sea cruise liner: Helpsavering apparata in emergings behold many whistles! Associate the stringing apparata about the bosums and meet behind, flee then t

Browning Robert

The pollution's at that awkward stage. Too thick to navigate and too thin to cultivate.

Bruce Lenny

The better the state is established, the fainter is humanity. To make the individual uncomfortable, that is my task.

Bruce Lenny

A university is what a college becomes when the faculty loses interest in students.

Bruce Lenny

History shows that the human mind, fed by constant accessions of knowledge, periodically grows too large for its theoretical coverings, and bursts them asunder to appear in new habiliments, as the feeding and growing grub, at intervals, casts its too

Bruce Lenny

A straw vote only shows which way the hot air blows.

Bruce Lenny

Prisons are built with stones of Law, brothels with bricks of Religion.

Bruce Lenny

For certain people, after fifty, litigation takes the place of sex.

Bruce Lenny

It's all right letting yourself go as long as you can let yourself back.

Bruce Lenny

Two wrongs are only the beginning.

Bruce Lenny

It is easier to resist at the beginning than at the end.

Bruce Lenny

Certainly the game is rigged. Don't let that stop you; if you don't bet, you can't win.

Bruce Lenny

You see, I consider that a man's brain originally is like a little empty attic, and you have to stock it with such furniture as you choose. A fool takes in all the lumber of every sort he comes across, so that the knowledge which might be useful to

Brunner John

Crito, I owe a cock to Asclepius; will you remember to pay the debt?

Bruyere Jean de la

The trouble with superheros is what to do between phone booths.

Bry Yul

If I could drop dead right now, I'd be the happiest man alive!

Bryson Lyman

A morgue is a morgue is a morgue. They can paint the walls with aggressively cheerful primary colors and splashy bold graphics, but it's still a holding place for the dead until they can be parted out to organ banks. Not that I would have cared nor

Buckley Lord

Honesty pays, but it doesn't seem to pay enough to suit some people.

Buckley William F.

If you laid all of our laws end to end, there would be no end.

Buckley William F.

For thee the wonder-working earth puts forth sweet flowers.

Buddha Gotama

The capacity of human beings to bore one another seems to be vastly greater than that of any other animals. Some of their most esteemed inventions have no other apparent purpose, for example, the dinner party of more than two, the epic poem, and the

Bullwinkle Rocky and

Misery no longer loves company. Nowadays it insists on it.

Bullwinkle J. Moose

Whoever has lived long enough to find out what life is, knows how deep a debt of gratitude we owe to Adam, the first great benefactor of our race. He brought death into the world.

Bulwer-Ly Grand Panjandrum

Or you or I must yield up his life to Ahrimanes. I would rather it were you. I should have no hesitation in sacrificing my own life to spare yours, but we take stock next week, and it would not be fair on the company.


If I could reach, I'd never leave the house.


A sect or party is an elegant incognito devised to save a man from the vexation of thinking.


"Spare no expense to save money on this one."


Sho' they got to have it against the law. Shoot, ever'body git high, they wouldn't be nobody git up and feed the chickens. Hee-hee.

Bumstead Dagwood

"I understand this is your first dead client," Sabian was saying. The absurdity of the statement made me want to laugh but they don't call me Deadpan Allie and lie.

Bungei Shunju

When in doubt, tell the truth.

Buren Abigail Van

The introduction of a new kind of music must be shunned as imperiling the whole state, for styles of music are never disturbed without affecting the most important political institutions. ... The new style, gradually gaining a lodgement, quitely ins

Buren Abigail Van

The price of success in philosophy is triviality.

Burgess Anthony

Learning French is trivial: the word for horse is cheval, and everything else follows in the same way.

Burgess Philip Larkin on Anthony

If you don't strike oil in twenty minutes, stop boring.

Burke James

Perfection is reached, not when there is no longer anything to add, but when there is no longer anything to take away.

Burnham Daniel Hudson

It has long been noticed that juries are pitiless for robbery and full of indulgence for infanticide. A question of interest, my dear Sir! The jury is afraid of being robbed and has passed the age when it could be a victim of infanticide.

Burns George

Whenever anyone says, "theoretically," they really mean, "not really."

Burns George

Gauls! We have nothing to fear; except perhaps that the sky may fall on our heads tomorrow. But as we all know, tomorrow never comes!!

Burroughs William

The time spent on any item of the agenda [of a finance committee] will be in inverse proportion to the sum involved.

Burroughs William S.

Live fast, die young, and leave a good looking corpse.

Burt Lanier Safford III

My own life has been spent chronicling the rise and fall of human systems, and I am convinced that we are terribly vulnerable. ... We should be reluctant to turn back upon the frontier of this epoch. Space is indifferent to what we do; it has no fe

Burton Robert

The only really good place to buy lumber is at a store where the lumber has already been cut and attached together in the form of furniture, finished, and put inside boxes.

Burton Sir Richard

It's not a sin not to be Irish, but it is a great shame.

Burton Sir Richard

"After I asked him what he meant, he replied that freedom consisted of the unimpeded right to get rich, to use his ability, no matter what the cost to others, to win advancement."

Business Risky

"What's the use of a good quotation if you can't change it?"

Butler Dave

Nothing is so firmly believed as that which we least know.

Butler Samuel

Instead of giving money to found colleges to promote learning, why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as good as the Prohibition one did, why, in five years we would have the smartest r

Butler Samuel

Who dat who say "who dat" when I say "who dat"?

Butler Samuel

Yesterday I was a dog. Today I'm a dog. Tomorrow I'll probably still be a dog. Sigh! There's so little hope for advancement.

Butler Samuel

Nice guys finish last, but we get to sleep in.

Butler Samuel

I'll turn over a new leaf.

Butler Samuel

If there is a sin against life, it consists perhaps not so much in despairing of life as in hoping for another life and in eluding the implacable grandeur of this life.

Butler Samuel

Facts are the enemy of truth.

Bux Bastian B.

Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.

Byrnes James F.

A yawn is a silent shout.

Bywater T.

I remember when legal used to mean lawful, now it means some kind of loophole.

beach. from the

The only thing that stops God from sending a second Flood is that the first one was useless.

better. much

Random Quote

Growing old isn't bad when you consider the alternatives.
Chevalier Maurice

deep thoughts of brillyant genius of human history
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