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God made everything out of nothing, but the nothingness shows through.

Ca Mona


Dear Mister Language Person: What is the purpose of the apostrophe? Answer: The apostrophe is used mainly in hand-lettered small business signs to alert the reader than an "S" is coming up at the end of a word, as in: WE DO NOT EXCEPT PERSONAL CHEC

Cadmus


The sky is blue so we know where to stop mowing.

Caen Herb


Look before you leap.

Caen Herb


There is nothing new except what has been forgotten.

Caesar Augustus


Caesar Augustus


Mankind is poised midway between the gods and the beasts.

Caesar Gaius Julius


The philosopher's treatment of a question is like the treatment of an illness.

Caesar Gaius Julius


Prosperity makes friends, adversity tries them.

Caesar Gaius Julius


The future not being born, my friend, we will abstain from baptizing it.

Caesar Julius


There's nothing worse for your business than extra Santa Clauses smoking in the men's room.

Caesar Sid


The first rule of all intelligent tinkering is to keep all the parts.

Cage John


Anything that is worth doing has been done frequently. Things hitherto undone should be given, I suspect, a wide berth.

Cage John


Well, the handwriting is on the floor.

Callimachus


Executive ability is deciding quickly and getting somebody else to do the work.

Cam Kurt Vonnegut


He who laughs has not yet heard the bad news.

Cameron Simon


The possession of a book becomes a substitute for reading it.

Cami Pat Calafia


I hate dying.

Camp Henry N.


None love the bearer of bad news.

Camus


The term "fire" brings up visions of violence and mayhem and the ugly scene of shooting employees who make mistakes. We will now refer to this process as "deleting" an employee (much as a file is deleted from a disk). The employee is simply there o

Camus A.


Seize the day, put no trust in the morrow!

Camus Albert


The confusion of a staff member is measured by the length of his memos.

Camus Albert


Any philosophy that can be put "in a nutshell" belongs there.

Camus Albert


Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig.

Camus Albert


Dying is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down.

Camus Albert


Once a word has been allowed to escape, it cannot be recalled.

Capone Al


Never appeal to a man's "better nature." He may not have one. Invoking his self-interest gives you more leverage.

Capone Al


Turn the other cheek.

Capone Al


I have a simple philosophy: Fill what's empty. Empty what's full. Scratch where it itches.

Capp Andy


Ninety percent of the time things turn out worse than you thought they would. The other ten percent of the time you had no right to expect that much.

Captain Ahab


When the English language gets in my way, I walk over it.

Cardozo Benjamin


It is the quality rather than the quantity that matters.

Carlevale Edmund


Those who do things in a noble spirit of self-sacrifice are to be avoided at all costs.

Carlin George


"Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away".

Carlyle


The pollution's at that awkward stage. Too thick to navigate and too thin to cultivate.

Carlyle Thomas


Honesty's the best policy.

Carlyle Thomas


The man-hating woman, like the cold woman, is largely imaginary. She is simply a woman who has done her best to snare a man and has failed.

Carlyle Thomas


XXVI: If a sufficient number of management layers are superimposed on each other, it can be assured that disaster is not left to chance. XXVII: Rank does not intimidate hardware. Neither does the lack of rank. XXVIII: It is better to be the r

Carlyle Thomas


The road to Hades is easy to travel.

Carnegie Andrew


Wait for that wisest of all counselors, Time.

Carpenter Elizabeth


The root of all superstition is that men observe when a thing hits, but not when it misses.

Carroll Lewis


All men know the utility of useful things; but they do not know the utility of futility.

Carroll Lewis


If I had a formula for bypassing trouble, I would not pass it around. Trouble creates a capacity to handle it. I don't say embrace trouble; that's as bad as treating it as an enemy. But I do say meet it as a friend, for you'll see a lot of it and y

Carroll Lewis


"You mean, if you allow the master to be uncivil, to treat you any old way he likes, and to insult your dignity, then he may deem you fit to hear his view of things?" "Quite the contrary. You must defend your integrity, assuming you have integrit

Carroll Lewis


Anyone can hold the helm when the sea is calm.

Carroll Lewis


A businessman is a hybrid of a dancer and a calculator.

Carson Johnny


It is better to have loved and lost

Carson Johnny


Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it.

Carson Johnny


Well, he thought, since neither Aristotelian Logic nor the disciplines of Science seemed to offer much hope, it's time to go beyond them... Drawing a few deep even breaths, he entered a mental state practiced only by Masters of the Universal Way of

Carson Johnny


A man gazing at the stars is proverbially at the mercy of the puddles in the road.

Carter Jimmy


Consider the postage stamp: its usefulness consists in the ability to stick to one thing till it gets there.

Carus Titus Lucretius


When the speaker and he to whom he is speaks do not understand, that is metaphysics.

Carus Titus Lucretius


Many hands make light work.

Carus Titus Lucretius


The greatest griefs are those we cause ourselves.

Carus Titus Lucretius


In every hierarchy the cream rises until it sours.

Cassidy Butch


Nothing succeeds like success.

Castro Fidel


There is no fool to the old fool.

Catalog Whole Earth


Trust in Allah, but tie your camel.

Catflap Filthy Rich and


In the highest society, as well as in the lowest, woman is merely an instrument of pleasure.

Catlin Wynn


You or I must yield up his life to Ahrimanes. I would rather it were you. I should have no hesitation in sacrificing my own life to spare yours, but we take stock next week, and it would not be fair on the company.

Cato


Some women should be beaten regularly, like gongs.

Cato Marcus Procius


What does not destroy me, makes me stronger.

Catullus Gaius Valerius


A commune is where people join together to share their lack of wealth.

Catullus Gaius Valerius


When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.

Catullus Gaius Valerius


"Life is too important to take seriously."

Caussade De


I just need enough to tide me over until I need more.

Cavour Camillo Di


There's no such thing as an original sin.

Celine Louis-Ferdinand


God help those who do not help themselves.

Cervantes


Think lucky. If you fall in a pond, check your pockets for fish.

Cervantes


A woman who is guided by the head and not by the heart is a social pestilence: she has all the defects of the passionate and affectionate woman, with none of her compensations; she is without pity, without love, without virtue, without sex.

Cervantes


There is a natural hootchy-kootchy to a goldfish.

Cervantes


You can observe a lot just by watching.

Cervantes Miguel de


Execute every act of thy life as though it were thy last.

Cervantes Miguel de


Doubt isn't the opposite of faith; it is an element of faith.

Cervantes Miguel de


There are no accidents whatsoever in the universe.

Cervantes Miguel de


Facts are the enemy of truth.

Cervantes Miguel de


What!? Me worry?

Cervantes Miguel de


We're all in this alone.

Cervantes Miguel de


It is better to live rich than to die rich.

Cervantes Miguel de


What we cannot speak about we must pass over in silence.

Cervantes Miguel de


Walking on water wasn't built in a day.

Cervantes Miguel de


Small is beautiful.

Cervantes Miguel de


The use of money is all the advantage there is to having money.

Ch St. John


Remembering is for those who have forgotten.

Chadwick Hal


Credit ... is the only enduring testimonial to man's confidence in man.

Chamfort Nicolas


Plus ,ca change, plus c'est la m^eme chose. [The more things change, the more they remain the same.]

Chandler Raymond


One learns to itch where one can scratch.

Chandler Raymond


The best executive is one who has sense enough to pick good people to do what he wants done, and self-restraint enough to keep from meddling with them while they do it.

Chandler Raymond


Between 1950 and 1952, a bored weatherman, stationed north of Hudson Bay, left a monument that neither government nor time can eradicate. Using a bulldozer abandoned by the Air Force, he spent two years and great effort pushing boulders into a single

Chandler Raymond


From the cradle to the coffin underwear comes first.

Channing William Ellery


The man who runs may fight again.

Chapelain Maurice


God gave man two ears and one tongue so that we listen twice as much as we speak.

Chaplin Charlie


A wise person makes his own decisions, a weak one obeys public opinion.

Chapman George


What one fool can do, another can.

Charles Chincholles


You get what you pay for.

Charles Darling


With all the talent around, it's sort of amazing that a woman could be up here with us.

Charles Darling


Look, we trade every day out there with hustlers, deal-makers, shysters, con-men. That's the way businesses get started. That's the way this country was built.

Charles Dickens


A committee is a group that keeps the minutes and loses hours.

Charles Dickens


By protracting life, we do not deduct one jot from the duration of death.

Charles Dickens


There's no such thing as a free lunch.

Charles Ives


Never invest your money in anything that eats or needs repainting.

Charles Schulz


Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely.

Charlie Crazy


Innovation is hard to schedule.

Charlot


When a fellow says, "It ain't the money but the principle of the thing," it's the money.

Chateaubriand


If a thing's worth doing, it is worth doing badly.

Chavez Cesar


There has been a little distress selling on the stock exchange.

Chaykin Howard


Every person, all the events in your life are there because you have drawn them there. What you choose to do with them is up to you.

Chazal


If you are shooting under 80 you are neglecting your business; over 80 you are neglecting your golf.

Cheever John


Nitwit ideas are for emergencies. You use them when you've got nothing else to try. If they work, they go in the Book. Otherwise you follow the Book, which is largely a collection of nitwit ideas that worked.

Chesterson Gilbert K.


Death is life's way of telling you you've been fired.

Chesterton G. K.


One good turn deserves another.

Chesterton G.K.


What fools these mortals be.

Chesterton G.K.


Chance is perhaps the work of God when He did not want to sign.

Chesterton G.K.


There are many of us in this old world of ours who hold that things break about even for all of us. I have observed, for example, that we all get about the same amount of ice. The rich get it in the summer and the poor get it in the winter.

Chesterton G.K.


Everything is possible. Pass the word.

Chesterton G.K.


Force has no place where there is need of skill.

Chesterton G.K.


Perhaps the remembrance of these things will prove a source of future pleasure.

Chesterton G.K.


Two can Live as Cheaply as One for Half as Long.

Chevalier Maurice


If we don't survive, we don't do anything else.

Chevins Anthony


It is ridiculous to call this an industry. This is not. This is rat eat rat, dog eat dog. I'll kill 'em, and I'm going to kill 'em before they kill me. You're talking about the American way of survival of the fittest.

Chichester Reverend


If a man has a strong faith he can indulge in the luxury of skepticism.

Chill The Big


Forgive and forget.

Chilo


God helps them that help themselves.

Chris Robert


A woman takes off her claim to respect along with her garments.

Christ Jesus


Men freely believe that what they wish to desire.

Chuang-tzu


The optimist thinks that this is the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist knows it.

Chuang-tzu


Just remember, wherever you go, there you are.

Chuck Jones


It is bad luck to be superstitious.

Churchill


Wisdom is knowing what to do with what you know.

Churchill W.


When your work speaks for itself, don't interrupt.

Churchill Winston


If a thing's worth having, it's worth cheating for.

Churchill Winston


A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds.

Churchill Winston


To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.

Churchill Winston


Love may laugh at locksmiths, but he has a profound respect for money bags.

Churchill Winston


Nothing recedes like success.

Churchill Winston


A woman occasionally is quite a serviceable substitute for masturbation. It takes an abundance of imagination, to be sure.

Churchill Winston


One of your most ancient writers, a historian named Herodotus, tells of a thief who was to be executed. As he was taken away he made a bargain with the king: in one year he would teach the king's favorite horse to sing hymns. The other prisoners wa

Churchill Winston


I was in this prematurely air conditioned supermarket and there were all these aisles and there were these bathing caps you could buy that had these kind of Fourth of July plumes on them that were red and yellow and blue and I wasn't tempted to buy

Churchill Winston


We were so poor we couldn't afford a watchdog. If we heard a noise at night, we'd bark ourselves.

Churchill Winston


The problem that we thought was a problem was, indeed, a problem, but not the problem we thought was the problem.

Churchill Winston


"No job too big; no fee too big!"

Churchill Winston


Having the fewest wants, I am nearest to the gods.

Churchill Winston


Human resources are human first, and resources second.

Churchill Winston


He has not acquired a fortune; the fortune has acquired him.

Churchill Winston


Money can't buy love, but it improves your bargaining position.

Churchill W.


I never cheated an honest man, only rascals. They wanted something for nothing. I gave them nothing for something.

Churchill W.


Getting into trouble is easy.

Churchill Winston


A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.

Churchill Winston


Kindness is the beginning of cruelty.

Churchill Winston


Women are nothing but machines for producing children.

Churchill Winston


... a thing called Ethics, whose nature was confusing but if you had it you were a High-Class Realtor and if you hadn't you were a shyster, a piker and a fly-by-night. These virtues awakened Confidence and enabled you to handle Bigger Propositions.

Ciardi John


To restore a sense of reality, I think Walt Disney should have a Hardluckland.

Ciardi John


The more the merrier.

Ciardi John


Long were the days of pain I have spent within its walls, and long were the nights of aloneness; and who can depart from his pain and his aloneness without regret?

Cicero Marcus Tullius


While there's life, there's hope.

Cicero Marcus Tullius


She applies her lipstick in spite of its contents: "greasy rouge, containing crushed and dried insect corpses for coloring, beeswax for stiffness, and olive oil to help it flow - the latter having the unfortunate tendency to go rancid several hours a

Claghorn Senator


If you sell diamonds, you cannot expect to have many customers. But a diamond is a diamond even if there are no customers.

Clapton Eric


Beauty is one of the rare things which does not lead to doubt of God.

Clarence Darrow to William


Genius is pain.

Clark Alex


"The chain which can be yanked is not the eternal chain."

Clark Blake


A beginning is the time for taking the most delicate care that balances are correct.

Clark Ramsey


The world is your exercise-book, the pages on which you do your sums. It is not reality, although you can express reality there if you wish. You are also free to write nonsense, or lies, or to tear the pages.

Clarke Arthur


Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet?

Clarke Arthur C.


Life is one long struggle in the dark.

Clarke Arthur C.


It is wise to keep in mind that neither success nor failure is ever final.

Cleaver Eldridge


An aphorism is never exactly true; it is either a half-truth or one-and-a-half truths.

Clemenceau


Who does not trust enough will not be trusted.

Clement Hal


When the going gets tough, everyone leaves.

Cleyre Voltarine de


Misery no longer loves company. Nowadays it insists on it.

Clifton Fadiman


A witty saying proves nothing.

Clopton R.


Fain would I climb, yet fear I to fall.

Clough Arthur


Every man who has reached even his intellectual teens begins to suspect that life is no farce; that it is not genteel comedy even; that it flowers and fructifies on the contrary out of the profoundest tragic depths of the essential death in which its

Cocteau Jean


With her body, woman is more sincere than man; but with her mind she lies. And when she lies, she does not believe herself.

Cocteau Jean


A good reputation is more valuable than money.

Cohan George M.


If I cannot bend Heaven, I shall move Hell.

Cohan George M.


Life is like a 10 speed bicycle. Most of us have gears we never use.

Cohen Mickey


Aim for the moon. If you miss, you may hit a star.

Cohen Leonard


The trouble with the rat-race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.

Cointment Joe


"The jig's up, Elman." "Which jig?"

Coke Sir Edward


You have to run as fast as you can just to stay where you are. If you want to get anywhere, you'll have to run much faster.

Col Lew


Only that in you which is me can hear what I'm saying.

Colby Frank Moore


Competitive fury is not always anger. It is the true missionary's courage and zeal in facing the possibility that one's best may not be enough.

Colby F.M.


Practice yourself what you preach.

Colton


Even the best of friends cannot attend each other's funeral.

Colton C.C.


Reality is bad enough, why should I tell the truth?

Comics Green Lantern


In charity there is no excess.

Confucius


I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday and I love today.

Confucius


"Do you think there's a God?" "Well, ____SOMEbody's out to get me!"

Confucius


Alas, I am dying beyond my means.

Confucius


The closest to perfection a person ever comes is when he fills out a job application form.

Confucius


An older student came to Otis and said, "I have been to see a great number of teachers and I have given up a great number of pleasures. I have fasted, been celibate and stayed awake nights seeking enlightenment. I have given up everything I was aske

Confucius


Don't go to bed with no price on your head.

Confucius


Mental power tended to corrupt, and absolute intelligence tended to corrupt absolutely, until the victim eschewed violence entirely in favor of smart solutions to stupid problems.

Confucius


The first myth of management is that it exists. The second myth of management is that success equals skill.

Confucius


Honesty pays, but it doesn't seem to pay enough to suit some people.

Conrad


It is not doing the thing we like to do, but liking the thing we have to do, that makes life blessed.

Conrad Joseph


Three minutes' thought would suffice to find this out; but thought is irksome and three minutes is a long time.

Conrad Joseph


The most difficult thing in the world is to know how to do a thing and to watch someone else doing it wrong, without commenting.

Coo Alistair


If a guru falls in the forest with no one to hear him, was he really a guru at all?

Cooke Alistair


The whole earth is in jail and we're plotting this incredible jailbreak.

Cooke Alistair


Our business in life is not to succeed but to continue to fail in high spirits.

Coolidge Calvin


Given a choice between grief and nothing, I'd choose grief.

Coolidge Calvin


The only happiness lies in reason; all the rest of the world is dismal. The highest reason, however, I see in the work of the artist, and he may experience it as such. Happiness lies in the swiftness of feeling and thinking: all the rest of the worl

Coolidge Calvin


Live within your income, even if you have to borrow to do so.

Coolidge Calvin


Our policy is, when in doubt, do the right thing.

Coolidge Calvin


It's not so hard to lift yourself by your bootstraps once you're off the ground.

Coolidge Calvin


A likely impossibility is always preferable to an unconvincing possibility.

Coolidge Calvin


One picture is worth more than ten thousand words.

Cooper A.


Now, you might ask, "How do I get one of those complete home tool sets for under $4?" An excellent question. Go to one of those really cheap discount stores where they sell plastic furniture in colors visible from the planet Neptune and where they

Cooper Jeff


Money doesn't talk, it swears.

Corwin Prince of


We have lingered long enough on the shores of the Cosmic Ocean.

Costello E.


You must be the change you wish to see in the world.

Costello Elvis


If your happiness depends on what somebody else does, I guess you do have a problem.

Costello Elvis


The two most beautiful words in the English language are "Cheque Enclosed."

Costello Elvis


Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead.

Coult Alan


We can embody the truth, but we cannot know it.

Couple The Odd


Work is of two kinds: first, altering the position of matter at or near the earth's surface relative to other matter; second, telling other people to do so.

Cousins Norman


Necessity hath no law.

Cousins Norman


It is so stupid of modern civilisation to have given up believing in the devil when he is the only explanation of it.

Coward Noel


Life is the childhood of our immortality.

Cowboy The


Honesty is for the most part less profitable than dishonesty.

Crane Dr. Frank


As well look for a needle in a bottle of hay.

Crane Frank


Let your conscience be your guide.

Crane Stephen


God is the tangential point between zero and infinity.

Crane Stephen


Patience is the best remedy for every trouble.

Credo The Webb Wilder


You can never do just one thing.

Crisp Quentin


There is no proverb that is not true.

Crisp Quentin


He who has the courage to laugh is almost as much a master of the world as he who is ready to die.

Crisp Quentin


Ah, but a man's grasp should exceed his reach, Or what's a heaven for ?

Croll John


Once there lived a village of creatures along the bottom of a great crystal river. Each creature in its own manner clung tightly to the twigs and rocks of the river bottom, for clinging was their way of life, and resisting the current what each had

Cromwell Oliver


I know on which side my bread is buttered.

Crosby Norm


A society in which women are taught anything but the management of a family, the care of men, and the creation of the future generation is a society which is on its way out.

Crowe Joe


As failures go, attempting to recall the past is like trying to grasp the meaning of existence. Both make one feel like a baby clutching at a basketball: one's palms keep sliding off.

Crumb R.


Let sleeping dogs lie.

Cuomo Mario


(1) Avoid fried meats which angry up the blood. (2) If your stomach antagonizes you, pacify it with cool thoughts. (3) Keep the juices flowing by jangling around gently as you move. (4) Go very lightly on the vices, such as carrying on in society, as

Curtis Charles


The sooner you make your first 5000 mistakes, the sooner you will be able to correct them.

Cynic Diogenes the


Think sideways!

caption Weber cartoon





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Twain Mark

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