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Sho' they got to have it against the law. Shoot, ever'body git high, they wouldn't be nobody git up and feed the chickens. Hee-hee.

Ca Mona


Fill what's empty, empty what's full, scratch where it itches.

Cadmus


To have died once is enough.

Caen Herb


"Well," Brahma said, "even after ten thousand explanations, a fool is no wiser, but an intelligent man requires only two thousand five hundred."

Caen Herb


I always had a repulsive need to be something more than human.

Caesar Augustus


Feminists say 60 percent of the country's wealth is in the hands of women. They're letting men hold the other 40 percent because their handbags are full.

Caesar Augustus


Leave no stone unturned.

Caesar Gaius Julius


Where there is much light there is also much shadow.

Caesar Gaius Julius


Great acts are made up of small deeds.

Caesar Gaius Julius


I will make you shorter by the head.

Caesar Julius


A sinking ship gathers no moss.

Caesar Sid


Here's to women. Would that we could fall into her arms without falling into her hands.

Cage John


The past always looks better than it was. It's only pleasant because it isn't here.

Cage John


Ninety percent of the time things turn out worse than you thought they would. The other ten percent of the time you had no right to expect that much.

Callimachus


A platitude is simply a truth repeated till people get tired of hearing it.

Cam Kurt Vonnegut


Faith is under the left nipple.

Cameron Simon


Depend on the rabbit's foot if you will, but remember, it didn't help the rabbit.

Cami Pat Calafia


Art is Nature speeded up and God slowed down.

Camp Henry N.


The optimist thinks that this is the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist knows it.

Camus


If I had done everything I'm credited with, I'd be speaking to you from a laboratory jar at Harvard.

Camus A.


"Rembrandt's first name was Beauregard, which is why he never used it."

Camus Albert


A thing is not necessarily true because a man dies for it.

Camus Albert


Nothing succeeds like excess.

Camus Albert


If I have to lay an egg for my country, I'll do it.

Camus Albert


An atom-blaster is a good weapon, but it can point both ways.

Camus Albert


The means-and-ends moralists, or non-doers, always end up on their ends without any means.

Capone Al


Getting into trouble is easy.

Capone Al


You can tell the ideals of a nation by its advertisements.

Capone Al


It is not enough that I should succeed. Others must fail.

Capp Andy


Campus sidewalks never exist as the straightest line between two points.

Captain Ahab


Nasrudin returned to his village from the imperial capital, and the villagers gathered around to hear what had passed. "At this time," said Nasrudin, "I only want to say that the King spoke to me." All the villagers but the stupidest ran off to spr

Cardozo Benjamin


"We demand rigidly defined areas of doubt and uncertainty!"

Carlevale Edmund


No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.

Carlin George


Never buy from a rich salesman.

Carlyle


I love treason but hate a traitor.

Carlyle Thomas


A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.

Carlyle Thomas


All men know the utility of useful things; but they do not know the utility of futility.

Carlyle Thomas


The Soviet Union, which has complained recently about alleged anti-Soviet themes in American advertising, lodged an official protest this week against the Ford Motor Company's new campaign: "Hey you stinking, fat Russian, get off my Ford Escort."

Carlyle Thomas


There is nothing new except what has been forgotten.

Carnegie Andrew


Treat your friend as if he might become an enemy.

Carpenter Elizabeth


If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.

Carroll Lewis


Nothing recedes like success.

Carroll Lewis


God is the tangential point between zero and infinity.

Carroll Lewis


The man who has never been flogged has never been taught.

Carroll Lewis


I think we're in trouble.

Carroll Lewis


Intellect annuls Fate. So far as a man thinks, he is free.

Carson Johnny


Look, we trade every day out there with hustlers, deal-makers, shysters, con-men. That's the way businesses get started. That's the way this country was built.

Carson Johnny


... why should you waste a single moment of *your* life seeming to be something you don't want to be? Lord, that's so simple. If you hate your job, quit it. If your friends are tedious, go out and find new friends. You are queer, you lucky fool, a

Carson Johnny


"You mean, if you allow the master to be uncivil, to treat you any old way he likes, and to insult your dignity, then he may deem you fit to hear his view of things?" "Quite the contrary. You must defend your integrity, assuming you have integrit

Carson Johnny


Ask not for whom the Bell tolls, and you will pay only the station-to-station rate.

Carter Jimmy


Death is a spirit leaving a body, sort of like a shell leaving the nut behind.

Carus Titus Lucretius


Si jeunesse savait, si vieillesse pouvait. [If youth but knew, if old age but could.]

Carus Titus Lucretius


Television is a medium because anything well done is rare.

Carus Titus Lucretius


The average Ph.D thesis is nothing but the transference of bones from one graveyard to another.

Carus Titus Lucretius


You have all eternity to be cautious in when you're dead.

Cassidy Butch


He that composes himself is wiser than he that composes a book.

Castro Fidel


He who writes with no misspelled words has prevented a first suspicion on the limits of his scholarship or, in the social world, of his general education and culture.

Catalog Whole Earth


Marijuana will be legal some day, because the many law students who now smoke pot will someday become congressmen and legalize it in order to protect themselves.

Catflap Filthy Rich and


He who knows, does not speak. He who speaks, does not know.

Catlin Wynn


Competitive fury is not always anger. It is the true missionary's courage and zeal in facing the possibility that one's best may not be enough.

Cato


If we could sell our experiences for what they cost us, we would all be millionaires.

Cato Marcus Procius


Maybe ain't ain't so correct, but I notice that lots of folks who ain't using ain't ain't eatin' well.

Catullus Gaius Valerius


Unprovided with original learning, unformed in the habits of thinking, unskilled in the arts of composition, I resolved to write a book.

Catullus Gaius Valerius


You have to run as fast as you can just to stay where you are. If you want to get anywhere, you'll have to run much faster.

Catullus Gaius Valerius


The lawgiver, of all beings, most owes the law allegiance. He of all men should behave as though the law compelled him. But it is the universal weakness of mankind that what we are given to administer we presently imagine we own.

Caussade De


Somehow I reached excess without ever noticing when I was passing through satisfaction.

Cavour Camillo Di


VII. Certain bodies can pass through solid walls painted to resemble tunnel entrances; others cannot. This trompe l'oeil inconsistency has baffled generations, but at least it is known that whoever paints an entrance on a wall's surface to

Celine Louis-Ferdinand


My father was a creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, it seems, begins where yours left off.

Cervantes


The problem that we thought was a problem was, indeed, a problem, but not the problem we thought was the problem.

Cervantes


A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.

Cervantes


We can embody the truth, but we cannot know it.

Cervantes


A full belly makes a dull brain.

Cervantes Miguel de


... but as records of courts and justice are admissible, it can easily be proved that powerful and malevolent magicians once existed and were a scourge to mankind. The evidence (including confession) upon which certain women were convicted of witch

Cervantes Miguel de


The use of money is all the advantage there is to having money.

Cervantes Miguel de


There is nothing so easy but that it becomes difficult when you do it reluctantly.

Cervantes Miguel de


It is impossible to enjoy idling thoroughly unless one has plenty of work to do.

Cervantes Miguel de


Alas, I am dying beyond my means.

Cervantes Miguel de


The USA is so enormous, and so numerous are its schools, colleges and religious seminaries, many devoted to special religious beliefs ranging from the unorthodox to the dotty, that we can hardly wonder at its yielding a more bounteous harvest of gobb

Cervantes Miguel de


And ever has it been known that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation.

Cervantes Miguel de


The only problem with seeing too much is that it makes you insane.

Cervantes Miguel de


Consider the postage stamp: its usefulness consists in the ability to stick to one thing till it gets there.

Cervantes Miguel de


Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years.

Cervantes Miguel de


Women are nothing but machines for producing children.

Ch St. John


Dying is easy. Comedy is difficult.

Chadwick Hal


Burnt Sienna. That's the best thing that ever happened to Crayolas.

Chamfort Nicolas


Marijuana will be legal some day, because the many law students who now smoke pot will someday become congressmen and legalize it in order to protect themselves.

Chandler Raymond


I have had my television aerials removed. It's the moral equivalent of a prostate operation.

Chandler Raymond


Two heads are better than one.

Chandler Raymond


Art is anything you can get away with.

Chandler Raymond


But if you wish at once to do nothing and to be respectable nowdays, the best pretext is to be at work on some profound study.

Channing William Ellery


Sometimes, too long is too long.

Chapelain Maurice


A good name lost is seldom regained. When character is gone, all is gone, and one of the richest jewels of life is lost forever.

Chaplin Charlie


Three o'clock in the afternoon is always just a little too late or a little too early for anything you want to do.

Chapman George


A man who cannot seduce men cannot save them either.

Charles Chincholles


My advice to you, my violent friend, is to seek out gold and sit on it.

Charles Darling


In dwelling, be close to the land. In meditation, delve deep into the heart. In dealing with others, be gentle and kind. In speech, be true. In work, be competent. In action, be careful of your timing.

Charles Darling


A furore Normanorum libera nos, O Domine! [From the fury of the norsemen deliver us, O Lord!]

Charles Dickens


We have nowhere else to go... this is all we have.

Charles Dickens


Where do I find the time for not reading so many books?

Charles Dickens


Small is beautiful.

Charles Ives


The salary of the chief executive of the large corporation is not a market award for achievement. It is frequently in the nature of a warm personal gesture by the individual to himself.

Charles Schulz


With Congress, every time they make a joke it's a law; and every time they make a law it's a joke.

Charlie Crazy


Anything that is worth doing has been done frequently. Things hitherto undone should be given, I suspect, a wide berth.

Charlot


The whole earth is in jail and we're plotting this incredible jailbreak.

Chateaubriand


The early bird who catches the worm works for someone who comes in late and owns the worm farm.

Chavez Cesar


How do you explain school to a higher intelligence?

Chaykin Howard


A commune is where people join together to share their lack of wealth.

Chazal


How should they answer?

Cheever John


If I were a grave-digger or even a hangman, there are some people I could work for with a great deal of enjoyment.

Chesterson Gilbert K.


"Die? I should say not, dear fellow. No Barrymore would allow such a conventional thing to happen to him."

Chesterton G. K.


"You boys lookin' for trouble?" "Sure. Whaddya got?"

Chesterton G.K.


All this wheeling and dealing around, why, it isn't for money, it's for fun. Money's just the way we keep score.

Chesterton G.K.


Adhere to your own act, and congratulate yourself if you have done something strange and extravagant, and broken the monotony of a decorous age.

Chesterton G.K.


For fools rush in where angels fear to tread.

Chesterton G.K.


Trifles make perfection, and perfection is no trifle.

Chesterton G.K.


Whatever it is, I fear Greeks even when they bring gifts.

Chesterton G.K.


No bird soars too high if he soars with his own wings.

Chesterton G.K.


Sweet April showers do spring May flowers.

Chevalier Maurice


Every young man should have a hobby: learning how to handle money is the best one.

Chevins Anthony


May you live in uninteresting times.

Chichester Reverend


Adde parvum parvo manus acervus erit. [Add little to little and there will be a big pile.]

Chill The Big


You must be the change you wish to see in the world.

Chilo


Man is the measure of all things.

Chris Robert


In case of fire, stand in the hall and shout "Fire!"

Christ Jesus


The cart has no place where a fifth wheel could be used.

Chuang-tzu


"If once a man indulges himself in murder, very soon he comes to think little of robbing; and from robbing he next comes to drinking and Sabbath-breaking, and from that to incivility and procrastination."

Chuang-tzu


Life is too short to be taken seriously.

Chuck Jones


The first requisite for immortality is death.

Churchill


The truth of a thing is the feel of it, not the think of it.

Churchill W.


Nullum magnum ingenium sine mixtura dementiae fuit. [There is no great genius without some touch of madness.]

Churchill Winston


"The chain which can be yanked is not the eternal chain."

Churchill Winston


The Worst Jury A murder trial at Manitoba in February 1978 was well advanced, when one juror revealed that he was completely deaf and did not have the remotest clue what was happening. The judge, Mr. Justice Solomon, asked him if he had heard any

Churchill Winston


"Consequences, Schmonsequences, as long as I'm rich."

Churchill Winston


Do not seek death; death will find you. But seek the road which makes death a fulfillment.

Churchill Winston


Watch your mouth, kid, or you'll find yourself floating home.

Churchill Winston


To do two things at once is to do neither.

Churchill Winston


IF I HAD A MINE SHAFT, I don't think I would just abandon it. There's got to be a better way.

Churchill Winston


Flame on!

Churchill Winston


No is no negative in a woman's mouth.

Churchill Winston


Good government never depends upon laws, but upon the personal qualities of those who govern. The machinery of government is always subordinate to the will of those who administer that machinery. The most important element of government, therefore,

Churchill Winston


It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle if it is lightly greased.

Churchill Winston


Remember that there is an outside world to see and enjoy.

Churchill Winston


If ever the pleasure of one has to be bought by the pain of the other, there better be no trade. A trade by which one gains and the other loses is a fraud.

Churchill Winston


Tallulah Bankhead barged down the Nile last night as Cleopatra and sank.

Churchill Winston


There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?

Churchill W.


Our business in life is not to succeed but to continue to fail in high spirits.

Churchill W.


Talking about music is like dancing about architecture.

Churchill Winston


Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths good theatre.

Churchill Winston


Charity begins at home.

Churchill Winston


Don't everyone thank me at once!

Churchill Winston


Better tried by twelve than carried by six.

Ciardi John


The Soviet pre-eminence in chess can be traced to the average Russian's readiness to brood obsessively over anything, even the arrangement of some pieces of wood. Indeed, the Russians' predisposition for quiet reflection followed by sudden preventi

Ciardi John


For thee the wonder-working earth puts forth sweet flowers.

Ciardi John


Dustin Farnum: Why, yesterday, I had the audience glued to their seats! Oliver Herford: Wonderful! Wonderful! Clever of you to think of it!

Cicero Marcus Tullius


Some men are heterosexual, and some are bisexual, and some men don't think about sex at all... they become lawyers.

Cicero Marcus Tullius


Progress was all right. Only it went on too long.

Claghorn Senator


Let's say your wedding ring falls into your toaster, and when you stick your hand in to retrieve it, you suffer Pain and Suffering as well as Mental Anguish. You would sue: * The toaster manufacturer, for failure to include, in the instructions

Clapton Eric


Of all men's miseries, the bitterest is this: to know so much and have control over nothing.

Clarence Darrow to William


No two persons ever read the same book.

Clark Alex


Sho' they got to have it against the law. Shoot, ever'body git high, they wouldn't be nobody git up and feed the chickens. Hee-hee.

Clark Blake


A drama critic is a person who surprises a playwright by informing him what he meant.

Clark Ramsey


A wise person makes his own decisions, a weak one obeys public opinion.

Clarke Arthur


A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the word you first thought of.

Clarke Arthur C.


He that teaches himself has a fool for a master.

Clarke Arthur C.


For certain people, after fifty, litigation takes the place of sex.

Cleaver Eldridge


I paid a visit to my local precinct in Greenwich Village and asked a sergeant to show me some rape statistics. He politely obliged. That month there had been thirty-five rape complaints, an advance of ten over the same month for the previous year.

Clemenceau


Our policy is, when in doubt, do the right thing.

Clement Hal


By protracting life, we do not deduct one jot from the duration of death.

Cleyre Voltarine de


[Maturity consists in the discovery that] there comes a critical moment where everything is reversed, after which the point becomes to understand more and more that there is something which cannot be understood.

Clifton Fadiman


The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence.

Clopton R.


Let sleeping dogs lie.

Clough Arthur


The philosopher's treatment of a question is like the treatment of an illness.

Cocteau Jean


Do not use that foreign word "ideals". We have that excellent native word "lies".

Cocteau Jean


If the path be beautiful, let us not ask where it leads.

Cohan George M.


Time is but the stream I go a-fishing in.

Cohan George M.


Men are superior to women.

Cohen Mickey


If reporters don't know that truth is plural, they ought to be lawyers.

Cohen Leonard


If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

Cointment Joe


There's nothing to writing. All you do is sit at a typewriter and open a vein.

Coke Sir Edward


Generally speaking, the Way of the warrior is resolute acceptance of death.

Col Lew


Be regular and orderly in your life, so that you may be violent and original in your work.

Colby Frank Moore


... Our second completely true news item was sent to me by Mr. H. Boyce Connell Jr. of Atlanta, Ga., where he is involved in a law firm. One thing I like about the South is, folks there care about tradition. If somebody gets handed a name like "H.

Colby F.M.


"There was an interesting development in the CBS-Westmoreland trial: both sides agreed that after the trial, Andy Rooney would be allowed to talk to the jury for three minutes about little things that annoyed him during the trial."

Colton


I went to a Grateful Dead Concert and they played for SEVEN hours. Great song.

Colton C.C.


The root of all superstition is that men observe when a thing hits, but not when it misses.

Comics Green Lantern


In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes.

Confucius


Save the Whales

Confucius


Life is the living you do, Death is the living you don't do.

Confucius


The truth is what is; what should be is a dirty lie.

Confucius


Necessity has no law.

Confucius


An actor's a guy who if you ain't talkin' about him, ain't listening.

Confucius


Optimism is the content of small men in high places.

Confucius


Dying is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down.

Confucius


We're constantly being bombarded by insulting and humiliating music, which people are making for you the way they make those Wonder Bread products. Just as food can be bad for your system, music can be bad for your spirtual and emotional feelings. I

Confucius


It's from Casablanca. I've been waiting all my life to use that line.

Conrad


When the going gets tough, everyone leaves.

Conrad Joseph


Misery no longer loves company. Nowadays it insists on it.

Conrad Joseph


God helps them that help themselves.

Coo Alistair


A committee takes root and grows, it flowers, wilts and dies, scattering the seed from which other committees will bloom.

Cooke Alistair


Education and religion are two things not regulated by supply and demand. The less of either the people have, the less they want.

Cooke Alistair


The idea there was that consumers would bring their broken electronic devices, such as television sets and VCR's, to the destruction centers, where trained personnel would whack them (the devices) with sledgehammers. With their devices thus permanent

Coolidge Calvin


The road to ruin is always in good repair, and the travellers pay the expense of it.

Coolidge Calvin


She cried, and the judge wiped her tears with my checkbook.

Coolidge Calvin


Two wrongs are only the beginning.

Coolidge Calvin


Doctors and lawyers must go to school for years and years, often with little sleep and with great sacrifice to their first wives.

Coolidge Calvin


Some performers on television appear to be horrible people, but when you finally get to know them in person, they turn out to be even worse.

Coolidge Calvin


A man gazing at the stars is proverbially at the mercy of the puddles in the road.

Coolidge Calvin


The Hollywood tradition I like best is called "sucking up to the stars."

Cooper A.


Gauls! We have nothing to fear; except perhaps that the sky may fall on our heads tomorrow. But as we all know, tomorrow never comes!!

Cooper Jeff


If a man loses his reverence for any part of life, he will lose his reverence for all of life.

Corwin Prince of


Knowledge is power.

Costello E.


Mandrell: "You know what I think?" Doctor: "Ah, ah that's a catch question. With a brain your size you don't think, right?"

Costello Elvis


You get what you pay for.

Costello Elvis


I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve immortality through not dying.

Costello Elvis


The coast was clear.

Coult Alan


If there is no wind, row.

Couple The Odd


Real wealth can only increase.

Cousins Norman


So you think that money is the root of all evil. Have you ever asked what is the root of money?

Cousins Norman


It is not doing the thing we like to do, but liking the thing we have to do, that makes life blessed.

Coward Noel


The price of success in philosophy is triviality.

Cowboy The


Like, if I'm not for me, then fer shure, like who will be? And if, y'know, if I'm not like fer anyone else, then hey, I mean, what am I? And if not now, like I dunno, maybe like when? And if not Who, then I dunno, maybe like the Rolling Stones?

Crane Dr. Frank


The trouble with opportunity is that it always comes disguised as hard work.

Crane Frank


Philosophy will clip an angel's wings.

Crane Stephen


There is no comfort without pain; thus we define salvation through suffering.

Crane Stephen


The college graduate is presented with a sheepskin to cover his intellectual nakedness.

Credo The Webb Wilder


Joe Cool always spends the first two weeks at college sailing his frisbee.

Crisp Quentin


What we do not understand we do not possess.

Crisp Quentin


If I had a formula for bypassing trouble, I would not pass it around. Trouble creates a capacity to handle it. I don't say embrace trouble; that's as bad as treating it as an enemy. But I do say meet it as a friend, for you'll see a lot of it and y

Crisp Quentin


Why be a man when you can be a success?

Croll John


With her body, woman is more sincere than man; but with her mind she lies. And when she lies, she does not believe herself.

Cromwell Oliver


Paradise is exactly like where you are right now ... only much, much better.

Crosby Norm


Live fast, die young, and leave a flat patch of fur on the highway!

Crowe Joe


were found to be wearing neckwear that was tighter than their neck circumference. The visual discrimination of the 22 subjects was evaluated using a critical flicker frequency (CFF) test. Results of the CFF test indicated that tight neckwear signifi

Crumb R.


Life is like a 10 speed bicycle. Most of us have gears we never use.

Cuomo Mario


There's no justice in this world.

Curtis Charles


When your work speaks for itself, don't interrupt.

Cynic Diogenes the


The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in the mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function.

caption Weber cartoon





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The primary theme of SoupCon is communication. The acronym "LEO" represents the secondary theme: Law Enforcement Officials The overall theme of SoupCon shall be: Avoiding Communication with Law Enforcement Officials
Gallaher M.

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