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Young men are fitter to invent than to judge; fitter for execution than for counsel; and fitter for new projects than for settled business. For the experience of age, in things that fall within the compass of it, directeth them; but in new things, a

Ca Mona

Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.


You must know that a man can have only one invulnerable loyalty, loyalty to his own concept of the obligations of manhood. All other loyalties are merely deputies of that one.

Caen Herb

If any demonstrator ever lays down in front of my car, it'll be the last car he ever lays down in front of.

Caen Herb

There is a natural hootchy-kootchy to a goldfish.

Caesar Augustus

No man is useless who has a friend, and if we are loved we are indispensable.

Caesar Augustus

Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.

Caesar Gaius Julius

The most difficult thing in the world is to know how to do a thing and to watch someone else doing it wrong, without commenting.

Caesar Gaius Julius

Only that in you which is me can hear what I'm saying.

Caesar Gaius Julius

United Nations, New York, December 25. The peace and joy of the Christmas season was marred by a proclamation of a general strike of all the military forces of the world. Panic reigns in the hearts of all the patriots of every persuasion. Meanwhil

Caesar Julius

WHENEVER ANYBODY SAYS he's struggling to become a human being I have to laugh because the apes beat him to it by about a million years. Struggle to become a parrot or something.

Caesar Sid

I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best.

Cage John

Exxon's 'Universe of Energy' tends to the peculiar rather than the humorous ... After [an incomprehensible film montage about wind and sun and rain and strip mines and] two or three minutes of mechanical confusion, the seats locomote through a short

Cage John

I can hire one half of the working class to kill the other half.


If you think the problem is bad now, just wait until we've solved it.

Cam Kurt Vonnegut

If one cannot enjoy reading a book over and over again, there is no use in reading it at all.

Cameron Simon

The race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, but that's the way to bet.

Cami Pat Calafia

The meek shall inherit the earth, but *not* its mineral rights.

Camp Henry N.

You buy a judge by weight, like iron in a junk yard. A justice of the peace or a magistrate can be had for a five-dollar bill. In the municipal courts, he will cost you ten. In the circuit or superior courts, he wants fifteen. The state appellate


So far as we are human, what we do must be either evil or good: so far as we do evil or good, we are human: and it is better, in a paradoxical way, to do evil than to do nothing: at least we exist.

Camus A.

"I wonder", he said to himself, "what's in a book while it's closed. Oh, I know it's full of letters printed on paper, but all the same, something must be happening, because as soon as I open it, there's a whole story with people I don't know yet

Camus Albert

Most people in this society who aren't actively mad are, at best, reformed or potential lunatics.

Camus Albert

All other things being equal, a bald man cannot be elected President of the United States.

Camus Albert

Religion has done love a great service by making it a sin.

Camus Albert

Ten persons who speak make more noise than ten thousand who are silent.

Camus Albert

When a place gets crowded enough to require ID's, social collapse is not far away. It is time to go elsewhere. The best thing about space travel is that it made it possible to go elsewhere.

Capone Al

Unless hours were cups of sack, and minutes capons, and clocks the tongues of bawds, and dials the signs of leaping houses, and the blessed sun himself a fair, hot wench in flame-colored taffeta, I see no reason why thou shouldst be so superfluous to

Capone Al

The road to ruin is always in good repair, and the travellers pay the expense of it.

Capone Al

Interesting poll results reported in today's New York Post: people on the street in midtown Manhattan were asked whether they approved of the US invasion of Grenada. Fifty-three percent said yes; 39 percent said no; and 8 percent said "Gimme a quart

Capp Andy

Never invest your money in anything that eats or needs repainting.

Captain Ahab

If two men agree on everything, you may be sure that one of them is doing the thinking.

Cardozo Benjamin

As well look for a needle in a bottle of hay.

Carlevale Edmund

If I could drop dead right now, I'd be the happiest man alive!

Carlin George

Tertullian was born in Carthage somewhere about 160 A.D. He was a pagan, and he abandoned himself to the lascivious life of his city until about his 35th year, when he became a Christian. [...] To him is ascribed the sublime confession: Credo quia


He missed an invaluable opportunity to hold his tongue.

Carlyle Thomas

One man's brain plus one other will produce one half as many ideas as one man would have produced alone. These two plus two more will produce half again as many ideas. These four plus four more begin to represent a creative meeting, and the ratio c

Carlyle Thomas

Money can't buy love, but it improves your bargaining position.

Carlyle Thomas

"For three days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off."

Carlyle Thomas

Carnegie Andrew

I remember when legal used to mean lawful, now it means some kind of loophole.

Carpenter Elizabeth

Even God lends a hand to honest boldness.

Carroll Lewis

I might have gone to West Point, but I was too proud to speak to a congressman.

Carroll Lewis

"One Saturday afternoon, during the campaign to decide whether or not there should be a Coastal Commission, I took a helicopter ride from Los Angeles to San Diego. We passed several state beaches, some crowded and some virtually empty. They had the

Carroll Lewis

A great empire, like a great cake, is most easily diminished at the edges.

Carroll Lewis

When democracy granted democratic methods to us in times of opposition, this was bound to happen in a democratic system. However, we National Socialists never asserted that we represented a democratic point of view, but we have declared openly that

Carroll Lewis

Truth never comes into the world but like a bastard, to the ignominy of him that brought her birth.

Carson Johnny

In spite of everything, I still believe that people are good at heart.

Carson Johnny

Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.

Carson Johnny

New Jersey is not the armpit of the nation; it's the asshole of the universe.

Carson Johnny

So you think that money is the root of all evil. Have you ever asked what is the root of money?

Carter Jimmy

Power tends to corrupt, absolute power corrupts absolutely.

Carus Titus Lucretius

Water, taken in moderation cannot hurt anybody.

Carus Titus Lucretius

I owe the public nothing.

Carus Titus Lucretius

When I saw a sign on the freeway that said, "Los Angeles 445 miles," I said to myself, "I've got to get out of this lane."

Carus Titus Lucretius

Luke, I'm yer father, eh. Come over to the dark side, you hoser.

Cassidy Butch

Television has proved that people will look at anything rather than each other.

Castro Fidel

The price of success in philosophy is triviality.

Catalog Whole Earth

The most delightful day after the one on which you buy a cottage in the country is the one on which you resell it.

Catflap Filthy Rich and

Trust in Allah, but tie your camel.

Catlin Wynn

If I cannot bend Heaven, I shall move Hell.


I am convinced that the truest act of courage is to sacrifice ourselves for others in a totally nonviolent struggle for justice. To be a man is to suffer for others.

Cato Marcus Procius

Let's remind ourselves that last year's fresh idea is today's cliche.

Catullus Gaius Valerius

I put the shotgun in an Adidas bag and padded it out with four pairs of tennis socks, not my style at all, but that was what I was aiming for: If they think you're crude, go technical; if they think you're technical, go crude. I'm a very technical

Catullus Gaius Valerius

People love high ideals, but they got to be about 33-percent plausible.

Catullus Gaius Valerius

per year.

Caussade De

A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back the when it begins to rain.

Cavour Camillo Di

The most costly of all follies is to believe passionately in the palpably not true. It is the chief occupation of mankind.

Celine Louis-Ferdinand

If you laid all of our laws end to end, there would be no end.


The universe is made of stories, not of atoms.


There are three rules for writing a novel. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are.


In success there's a tendency to keep on doing what you were doing.


Every man is apt to form his notions of things difficult to be apprehended, or less familiar, from their analogy to things which are more familiar. Thus, if a man bred to the seafaring life, and accustomed to think and talk only of matters relating t

Cervantes Miguel de

Believe everything you hear about the world; nothing is too impossibly bad.

Cervantes Miguel de

Once a word has been allowed to escape, it cannot be recalled.

Cervantes Miguel de

The very remembrance of my former misfortune proves a new one to me.

Cervantes Miguel de

I recognize terror as the finest emotion and so I will try to terrorize the reader. But if I find that I cannot terrify, I will try to horrify, and if I find that I cannot horrify, I'll go for the gross-out.

Cervantes Miguel de

Solipsists of the World... you are already united.

Cervantes Miguel de

It is the quality rather than the quantity that matters.

Cervantes Miguel de

A man said to the Universe: "Sir, I exist!" "However," replied the Universe, "the fact has not created in me a sense of obligation."

Cervantes Miguel de

It is exactly because a man cannot do a thing that he is a proper judge of it.

Cervantes Miguel de

Man has made his bedlam; let him lie in it.

Cervantes Miguel de

Judges, as a class, display, in the matter of arranging alimony, that reckless generosity which is found only in men who are giving away someone else's cash.

Cervantes Miguel de

The shortest distance between two points is under construction.

Ch St. John

The English instinctively admire any man who has no talent and is modest about it.

Chadwick Hal

Political history is far too criminal a subject to be a fit thing to teach children.

Chamfort Nicolas

I have a very strange feeling about this...

Chandler Raymond

Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.

Chandler Raymond

Never take a resume seriously. Resumes only make money for the people who write the resumes. No resume ever tells an employer how many times a job applicant has had the clap. Why, indeed, would anyone hire a person based on a resume written by a

Chandler Raymond

You can tell the ideals of a nation by its advertisements.

Chandler Raymond

Never promise more than you can perform.

Channing William Ellery

Like ya know? Rock 'N Roll is an esoteric language that unlocks the creativity chambers in people's brains, and like totally activates their essential hipness, which of course is like totally necessary for saving the earth, like because the first th

Chapelain Maurice

"Is it just me, or does anyone else read `bible humpers' every time someone writes `bible thumpers?'

Chaplin Charlie

I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.

Chapman George

When you are about to die, a wombat is better than no company at all.

Charles Chincholles

It is imperative when flying coach that you restrain any tendency toward the vividly imaginative. For although it may momentarily appear to be the case, it is not at all likely that the cabin is entirely inhabited by crying babies smoking inexpensiv

Charles Darling

Cautious, careful people always casting about to preserve their reputation or social standards never can bring about reform. Those who are totally in earnest are willing to be anything or nothing in the world's estimation, and publicly and privately

Charles Darling

For fools rush in where angels fear to tread.

Charles Dickens

Doubt is not a pleasant condition, but certainty is absurd.

Charles Dickens

An ambassador is an honest man sent abroad to lie and intrigue for the benefit of his country.

Charles Dickens

Modesty is a vastly overrated virtue.

Charles Ives

If a man has a strong faith he can indulge in the luxury of skepticism.

Charles Schulz

You're never too old to become younger.

Charlie Crazy

Why be a man when you can be a success?


There's no such thing as a free lunch.


I used to be a rebel in my youth. This cause... that cause... (chuckle) I backed 'em ALL! But I learned. Rebellion is simply a device used by the immature to hide from his own problems. So I lost interest in politics. Now when I feel aroused by

Chavez Cesar

Never explain. Your friends do not need it and your enemies will never believe you anyway.

Chaykin Howard

The seven deadly sins ... Food, clothing, firing, rent, taxes, respectability and children. Nothing can lift those seven milestones from man's neck but money; and the spirit cannot soar until the milestones are lifted.


Trying to define yourself is like trying to bite your own teeth.

Cheever John

"We demand rigidly defined areas of doubt and uncertainty!"

Chesterson Gilbert K.

The primary theme of SoupCon is communication. The acronym "LEO" represents the secondary theme: Law Enforcement Officials The overall theme of SoupCon shall be: Avoiding Communication with Law Enforcement Officials

Chesterton G. K.

A fool's brain digests philosophy into folly, science into superstition, and art into pedantry. Hence University education.

Chesterton G.K.

... the privileged being which we call human is distinguished from other animals only by certain double-edged manifestations which in charity we can only call "inhuman."

Chesterton G.K.

... A solemn, unsmiling, sanctimonious old iceberg who looked like he was waiting for a vacancy in the Trinity.

Chesterton G.K.

I will follow the good side right to the fire, but not into it if I can help it.

Chesterton G.K.

In the space of one hundred and seventy-six years the Mississippi has shortened itself two hundred and forty-two miles. Therefore ... in the Old Silurian Period the Mississippi River was upward of one million three hundred thousand miles long ... se

Chesterton G.K.

The more I want to get something done, the less I call it work.

Chesterton G.K.

The only thing that stops God from sending a second Flood is that the first one was useless.

Chesterton G.K.

I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter.

Chevalier Maurice

You can't play your friends like marks, kid.

Chevins Anthony

"You can't survive by sucking the juice from a wet mitten."

Chichester Reverend

Life is a serious burden, which no thinking, humane person would wantonly inflict on someone else.

Chill The Big

Ed Sullivan will be around as long as someone else has talent.


The first myth of management is that it exists. The second myth of management is that success equals skill.

Chris Robert

Having no talent is no longer enough.

Christ Jesus

Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you recognize a mistake when you make it again.


"Hi, I'm Preston A. Mantis, president of Consumers Retail Law Outlet. As you can see by my suit and the fact that I have all these books of equal height on the shelves behind me, I am a trained legal attorney. Do you have a car or a job? Do you ever


Let's talk about how to fill out your 1984 tax return. Here's an often overlooked accounting technique that can save you thousands of dollars: For several days before you put it in the mail, carry your tax return around under your armpit. No IRS ag

Chuck Jones

By the middle 1880's, practically all the roads except those in the South, were of the present standard gauge. The southern roads were still five feet between rails. It was decided to change the gauge of all southern roads to standard, in one day


Hell is empty and all the devils are here.

Churchill W.

I always pass on good advice. It is the only thing to do with it. It is never any good to oneself.

Churchill Winston

Then a man said: Speak to us of Expectations. He then said: If a man does not see or hear the waters of the Jordan, then he should not taste the pomegranate or ply his wares in an open market. If a man would not labour in the salt and rock quarri

Churchill Winston

Would ye both eat your cake and have your cake?

Churchill Winston

To jaw-jaw is better than to war-war.

Churchill Winston

"Every morning, I get up and look through the 'Forbes' list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work"

Churchill Winston

It was the Law of the Sea, they said. Civilization ends at the waterline. Beyond that, we all enter the food chain, and not always right at the top.

Churchill Winston

The only alliance I would make with the Women's Liberation Movement is in bed.

Churchill Winston

With her body, woman is more sincere than man; but with her mind she lies. And when she lies, she does not believe herself.

Churchill Winston

Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet?

Churchill Winston

I have seen the future and it is just like the present, only longer.

Churchill Winston

Excess on occasion is exhilarating. It prevents moderation from acquiring the deadening effect of a habit.

Churchill Winston

Learning French is trivial: the word for horse is cheval, and everything else follows in the same way.

Churchill Winston

Humans are communications junkies. We just can't get enough.

Churchill Winston

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

Churchill Winston

"Earth is a great, big funhouse without the fun."

Churchill Winston

Being a woman is a terribly difficult trade, since it consists principally of dealings with men.

Churchill W.

I cannot and will not cut my conscience to fit this year's fashions.

Churchill W.

For there are moments when one can neither think nor feel. And if one can neither think nor feel, she thought, where is one?

Churchill Winston

May you live in uninteresting times.

Churchill Winston

It is indeed desirable to be well descended, but the glory belongs to our ancestors.

Churchill Winston

I had never been too political, but I knew how white people treated black people and it was hard for me to come back to the bullshit white people put a black person through in this country. To realize you don't have any power to make things differen

Churchill Winston

I think we are in Rats' Alley where the dead men lost their bones.

Ciardi John

The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers.

Ciardi John

A right is not what someone gives you; it's what no one can take from you.

Ciardi John

There is a limit to the admiration we may hold for a man who spends his waking hours poking the contents of chickens with a stick.

Cicero Marcus Tullius

Justice is incidental to law and order.

Cicero Marcus Tullius

There is perhaps in every thing of any consequence, secret history, which it would be amusing to know, could we have it authentically communicated.

Claghorn Senator

We are giving instruction to FBI agents in the various Chinese dialects ... to handle present and likely future contingencies.

Clapton Eric

My daddy's brains was so scrambled he thought he was Jesus. They put him in a nut house for 5 years and when he got out, he didn't think he was Jesus, he thought he was *God*! ... Which made me Jesus.

Clarence Darrow to William

Every man who has reached even his intellectual teens begins to suspect that life is no farce; that it is not genteel comedy even; that it flowers and fructifies on the contrary out of the profoundest tragic depths of the essential death in which its

Clark Alex

I will honour Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year. I will live in the Past, the Present, and the Future. The Spirits of all Three shall strive within me. I will not shut out the lessons that they teach. Oh, tell me that I may s

Clark Blake

The adjuration to be "normal" seems shockingly repellent to me; I see neither hope nor comfort in sinking to that low level. I think it is ignorance that makes people think of abnormality only with horror and allows them to remain undismayed at the

Clark Ramsey

I have always noticed that whenever a radical takes to Imperialism, he catches it in a very acute form.

Clarke Arthur

Traveling through hyperspace isn't like dusting crops, boy.

Clarke Arthur C.

There appears to be irrefutable evidence that the mere fact of overcrowding induces violence.

Clarke Arthur C.

In the long run we are all dead.

Cleaver Eldridge

The chief cause of problems is solutions.


I'm never through with a girl until I've had her three ways.

Clement Hal

When in doubt, have a man come through the door with a gun in his hand.

Cleyre Voltarine de

It's better to be wanted for murder that not to be wanted at all.

Clifton Fadiman

When you make your mark in the world, watch out for guys with erasers.

Clopton R.

BS: You remind me of a man. B: What man? BS: The man with the power. B: What power? BS: The power of voodoo. B: Voodoo? BS: You do. B: Do what? BS: Remind me of a man. B: What man? BS: The man with the power...

Clough Arthur

The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man.

Cocteau Jean

Tom Hayden is the kind of politician who gives opportunism a bad name.

Cocteau Jean

Too clever is dumb.

Cohan George M.

Rembrandt is not to be compared in the painting of character with our extraordinarily gifted English artist, Mr. Rippingille.

Cohan George M.

The last vestiges of the old Republic have been swept away.

Cohen Mickey

We are so fond of each other because our ailments are the same.

Cohen Leonard

Oh wearisome condition of humanity! Born under one law, to another bound.

Cointment Joe

XLI: The more one produces, the less one gets. XLII: Simple systems are not feasible because they require infinite testing. XLIII: Hardware works best when it matters the least. XLIV: Aircraft flight in the 21st century will always be in a we

Coke Sir Edward

"You boys lookin' for trouble?" "Sure. Whaddya got?"

Col Lew

No matter whether th' constitution follows th' flag or not, th' supreme court follows th' iliction returns.

Colby Frank Moore

According to my best recollection, I don't remember.

Colby F.M.

Be careful of reading health books, you might die of a misprint.


Genius is pain.

Colton C.C.

She hates testicles, thus limiting the men she can admire to Democratic candidates for president.

Comics Green Lantern

The intelligence of any discussion diminishes with the square of the number of participants.


"... I should explain that I was wearing a black velvet cape that was supposed to make me look like the dashing, romantic Zorro but which actually made me look like a gigantic bat wearing glasses ..."


The health of a democratic society may be measured by the quality of functions performed by private citizens.


The best you get is an even break.


Well, don't worry about it... It's nothing.


Like, if I'm not for me, then fer shure, like who will be? And if, y'know, if I'm not like fer anyone else, then hey, I mean, what am I? And if not now, like I dunno, maybe like when? And if not Who, then I dunno, maybe like the Rolling Stones?


It is easier to make a saint out of a libertine than out of a prig.


Tart words make no friends; a spoonful of honey will catch more flies than a gallon of vinegar.


Let us not look back in anger or forward in fear, but around us in awareness.


Facts are the enemy of truth.


Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.

Conrad Joseph

You have all eternity to be cautious in when you're dead.

Conrad Joseph

Old age is always fifteen years old than I am.

Coo Alistair

It is Mr. Mellon's credo that $200,000,000 can do no wrong. Our offense consists in doubting it.

Cooke Alistair

Dorothy: But how can you talk without a brain? Scarecrow: Well, I don't know... but some people without brains do an awful lot of talking.

Cooke Alistair

Sometimes a man who deserves to be looked down upon because he is a fool is despised only because he is a lawyer.

Coolidge Calvin

If you live in New York, even if you're Catholic, you're Jewish.

Coolidge Calvin

Must I hold a candle to my shames?

Coolidge Calvin

"Benson, you are so free of the ravages of intelligence"

Coolidge Calvin

If the English language made any sense, lackadaisical would have something to do with a shortage of flowers.

Coolidge Calvin

You can observe a lot just by watching.

Coolidge Calvin

The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence.

Coolidge Calvin

If Jesus Christ came to this town, people would say, great guy; terrible carpenter.

Cooper A.

The reasons that each of these countries has had to renege on its financial committments were all somewhat different: Argentina because of a war, Poland because of its vast misguided overinvestment in heavy industry, Honduras because the coffee price

Cooper Jeff

My problem lies in reconciling my gross habits with my net income.

Corwin Prince of

Diplomacy is the art of saying "nice doggie" until you can find a rock.

Costello E.

Imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality.

Costello Elvis

I sometimes think that God, in creating man, somewhat overestimated his ability.

Costello Elvis

Sometimes a man who deserves to be looked down upon because he is a fool is despised only because he is a lawyer.

Costello Elvis

Capitalism is the extraordinary belief that the nastiest of men, for the nastiest of reasons, will somehow work for the benefit of us all.

Coult Alan

Let us endeavor so to live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.

Couple The Odd

Audacity, and again, audacity, and always audacity.

Cousins Norman

Misery no longer loves company. Nowadays it insists on it.

Cousins Norman

More people are flattered into virtue than bullied out of vice.

Coward Noel

Tip the world over on its side and everything loose will land in Los Angeles.

Cowboy The

Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names the streets after them.

Crane Dr. Frank

I never made a mistake in my life. I thought I did once, but I was wrong.

Crane Frank

The real purpose of books is to trap the mind into doing its own thinking.

Crane Stephen

It seems appropriate to me that Mapplethorpe's perverse images should be situated so close to Congress, which perpetuates a number of unnatural acts upon the body politic every day, without benefit of artificial lubrication or foreplay.

Crane Stephen

Politics is the ability to foretell what is going to happen tomorrow, next week, next month and next year. And to have the ability afterwards to explain why it didn't happen.

Credo The Webb Wilder

If Beethoven's Seventh Symphony is not by some means abridged, it will soon fall into disuse.

Crisp Quentin

Long ago I proposed that unsuccessful candidates for the Presidency be quietly hanged, as a matter of public sanitation and decorum. The sight of their grief must have a very evil effect upon the young.

Crisp Quentin

Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong.

Crisp Quentin

Alexander Hamilton started the U.S. Treasury with nothing - and that was the closest our country has ever been to being even.

Croll John

America is a melting pot. You know, where those on the bottom get burned, and the scum rises to the top.

Cromwell Oliver

"I may appear to be just sitting here like a bucket of tapioca, but don't let appearances fool you. I'm approaching old age ... at the speed of light."

Crosby Norm

Giving money and power to governments is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.

Crowe Joe

It will be generally found that those who sneer habitually at human nature and affect to despise it, are among its worst and least pleasant examples.

Crumb R.

I regret to say that we of the F.B.I. are powerless to act in cases of oral-genital intimacy, unless it has in some way obstructed interstate commerce.

Cuomo Mario

No one becomes depraved in a moment.

Curtis Charles

I can't seem to bring myself to say, "Well, I guess I'll be toddling along." It isn't that I can't toddle. It's that I can't guess I'll toddle.

Cynic Diogenes the

Only kings, presidents, editors, and people with tapeworms have the right to use the editorial "we".

caption Weber cartoon

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Gary Gilmore

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