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"We demand rigidly defined areas of doubt and uncertainty!"

Ca Mona


Life is like a 10 speed bicycle. Most of us have gears we never use.

Cadmus


It is better to have loved and lost

Caen Herb


It is the quality rather than the quantity that matters.

Caen Herb


The first Rotarian was the first man to call John the Baptist "Jack."

Caesar Augustus


If you catch a man, throw him back.

Caesar Augustus


"If once a man indulges himself in murder, very soon he comes to think little of robbing; and from robbing he next comes to drinking and Sabbath-breaking, and from that to incivility and procrastination."

Caesar Gaius Julius


An ounce of hypocrisy is worth a pound of ambition.

Caesar Gaius Julius


If we see the light at the end of the tunnel, it's the light of an oncoming train.

Caesar Gaius Julius


Once he had one leg in the White House and the nation trembled under his roars. Now he is a tinpot pope in the Coca-Cola belt and a brother to the forlorn pastors who belabor halfwits in galvanized iron tabernacles behind the railroad yards."

Caesar Julius


It's not a sin not to be Irish, but it is a great shame.

Caesar Sid


She cried, and the judge wiped her tears with my checkbook.

Cage John


Do not seek death; death will find you. But seek the road which makes death a fulfillment.

Cage John


The [Ford Foundation] is a large body of money completely surrounded by people who want some.

Callimachus


Porsche: there simply is no substitute.

Cam Kurt Vonnegut


The English instinctively admire any man who has no talent and is modest about it.

Cameron Simon


Age before beauty; and pearls before swine.

Cami Pat Calafia


Burnt Sienna. That's the best thing that ever happened to Crayolas.

Camp Henry N.


My only love sprung from my only hate! Too early seen unknown, and known too late!

Camus


If while you are in school, there is a shortage of qualified personnel in a particular field, then by the time you graduate with the necessary qualifications, that field's employment market is glutted.

Camus A.


Life being what it is, one dreams of revenge.

Camus Albert


The adjective is the banana peel of the parts of speech.

Camus Albert


But if you wish at once to do nothing and to be respectable nowdays, the best pretext is to be at work on some profound study.

Camus Albert


Just because everything is different doesn't mean anything has changed.

Camus Albert


The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.

Camus Albert


When the speaker and he to whom he is speaks do not understand, that is metaphysics.

Capone Al


If you know the answer to a question, don't ask.

Capone Al


If there were a school for, say, sheet metal workers, that after three years left its graduates as unprepared for their careers as does law school, it would be closed down in a minute, and no doubt by lawyers.

Capone Al


Live within your income, even if you have to borrow to do so.

Capp Andy


I consider a new device or technology to have been culturally accepted when it has been used to commit a murder.

Captain Ahab


We're all in this alone.

Cardozo Benjamin


I think... I think it's in my basement... Let me go upstairs and check.

Carlevale Edmund


Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. My advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.

Carlin George


A businessman is a hybrid of a dancer and a calculator.

Carlyle


"There is no Father Christmas. It's just a marketing ploy to make low income parents' lives a misery." "... I want you to picture the trusting face of a child, streaked with tears because of what you just said." "I want you to picture the face of

Carlyle Thomas


The absurd is the essential concept and the first truth.

Carlyle Thomas


Take the folks at Coca-Cola. For many years, they were content to sit back and make the same old carbonated beverage. It was a good beverage, no question about it; generations of people had grown up drinking it and doing the experiment in sixth gr

Carlyle Thomas


It is so stupid of modern civilisation to have given up believing in the devil when he is the only explanation of it.

Carlyle Thomas


If we don't survive, we don't do anything else.

Carnegie Andrew


A society in which women are taught anything but the management of a family, the care of men, and the creation of the future generation is a society which is on its way out.

Carpenter Elizabeth


It is something to be able to paint a particular picture, or to carve a statue, and so to make a few objects beautiful; but it is far more glorious to carve and paint the very atmosphere and medium through which we look, which morally we can do. T

Carroll Lewis


A vacuum is a hell of a lot better than some of the stuff that nature replaces it with.

Carroll Lewis


Ask not for whom the Bell tolls, and you will pay only the station-to-station rate.

Carroll Lewis


With Congress, every time they make a joke it's a law; and every time they make a law it's a joke.

Carroll Lewis


What soon grows old? Gratitude.

Carroll Lewis


Time as he grows old teaches all things.

Carson Johnny


This is the sort of English up with which I will not put.

Carson Johnny


The Bible says that woman was the last thing God made. Evidently He made her on Saturday night. She reveals his fatigue.

Carson Johnny


If it doesn't smell yet, it's pretty fresh.

Carson Johnny


If you only have a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail.

Carter Jimmy


At ebb tide I wrote a line upon the sand, and gave it all my heart and all my soul. At flood tide I returned to read what I had inscribed and found my ignorance upon the shore.

Carus Titus Lucretius


Men's skin is different from women's skin. It is usually bigger, and it has more snakes tattooed on it. Also, if you examine a woman's skin very closely, inch by inch, starting at her shapely ankles, then gently tracing the slender curve of her cal

Carus Titus Lucretius


Art is anything you can get away with.

Carus Titus Lucretius


Let him choose out of my files, his projects to accomplish.

Carus Titus Lucretius


If any man wishes to be humbled and mortified, let him become president of Harvard.

Cassidy Butch


It is often the case that the man who can't tell a lie thinks he is the best judge of one.

Castro Fidel


If I were a grave-digger or even a hangman, there are some people I could work for with a great deal of enjoyment.

Catalog Whole Earth


Leave no stone unturned.

Catflap Filthy Rich and


You climb to reach the summit, but once there, discover that all roads lead down.

Catlin Wynn


"Hi, I'm Preston A. Mantis, president of Consumers Retail Law Outlet. As you can see by my suit and the fact that I have all these books of equal height on the shelves behind me, I am a trained legal attorney. Do you have a car or a job? Do you ever

Cato


Maryel brought her bat into Exit once and started whacking people on the dance floor. Now everyone's doing it. It's called grand slam dancing.

Cato Marcus Procius


There has been a little distress selling on the stock exchange.

Catullus Gaius Valerius


It's not so hard to lift yourself by your bootstraps once you're off the ground.

Catullus Gaius Valerius


A drama critic is a person who surprises a playwright by informing him what he meant.

Catullus Gaius Valerius


Have you ever stopped to think what it would be like to have a woman President? "I can't deal with the Russians today. Not now. I've got my period."

Caussade De


"Necessity is the mother of invention" is a silly proverb. "Necessity is the mother of futile dodges" is much nearer the truth.

Cavour Camillo Di


Being a miner, as soon as you're too old and tired and sick and stupid to do your job properly, you have to go, where the very opposite applies with the judges.

Celine Louis-Ferdinand


I do desire we may be better strangers.

Cervantes


Competitive fury is not always anger. It is the true missionary's courage and zeal in facing the possibility that one's best may not be enough.

Cervantes


A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.

Cervantes


Being a miner, as soon as you're too old and tired and sick and stupid to do your job properly, you have to go, where the very opposite applies with the judges.

Cervantes


What one believes to be true either is true or becomes true.

Cervantes Miguel de


Luke, I'm yer father, eh. Come over to the dark side, you hoser.

Cervantes Miguel de


Why does a hearse horse snicker, hauling a lawyer away?

Cervantes Miguel de


The surest protection against temptation is cowardice.

Cervantes Miguel de


Every young man should have a hobby: learning how to handle money is the best one.

Cervantes Miguel de


The mosquito is the state bird of New Jersey.

Cervantes Miguel de


I'll turn over a new leaf.

Cervantes Miguel de


"No job too big; no fee too big!"

Cervantes Miguel de


Playing an unamplified electric guitar is like strumming on a picnic table.

Cervantes Miguel de


When your work speaks for itself, don't interrupt.

Cervantes Miguel de


Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.

Cervantes Miguel de


Receiving a million dollars tax free will make you feel better than being flat broke and having a stomach ache.

Ch St. John


British education is probably the best in the world, if you can survive it. If you can't there is nothing left for you but the diplomatic corps.

Chadwick Hal


Once there lived a village of creatures along the bottom of a great crystal river. Each creature in its own manner clung tightly to the twigs and rocks of the river bottom, for clinging was their way of life, and resisting the current what each had

Chamfort Nicolas


Who goeth a-borrowing goeth a-sorrowing.

Chandler Raymond


Some people say a front-engine car handles best. Some people say a rear-engine car handles best. I say a rented car handles best.

Chandler Raymond


"Hi, I'm Preston A. Mantis, president of Consumers Retail Law Outlet. As you can see by my suit and the fact that I have all these books of equal height on the shelves behind me, I am a trained legal attorney. Do you have a car or a job? Do you ever

Chandler Raymond


For myself, I can only say that I am astonished and somewhat terrified at the results of this evening's experiments. Astonished at the wonderful power you have developed, and terrified at the thought that so much hideous and bad music may be put on

Chandler Raymond


[Americans] are a race of convicts and ought to be thankful for anything we allow them short of hanging.

Channing William Ellery


What does not destroy me, makes me stronger.

Chapelain Maurice


Fill what's empty, empty what's full, scratch where it itches.

Chaplin Charlie


The coast was clear.

Chapman George


Americans' greatest fear is that America will turn out to have been a phenomenon, not a civilization.

Charles Chincholles


Human resources are human first, and resources second.

Charles Darling


No poet or novelist wishes he was the only one who ever lived, but most of them wish they were the only one alive, and quite a number fondly believe their wish has been granted.

Charles Darling


Ah, but a man's grasp should exceed his reach, Or what's a heaven for ?

Charles Dickens


Men will fuck mud.

Charles Dickens


There's nothing remarkable about it. All one has to do is hit the right keys at the right time and the instrument plays itself.

Charles Dickens


A highly intelligent man should take a primitive woman. Imagine if on top of everything else, I had a woman who interfered with my work.

Charles Ives


Every man who has reached even his intellectual teens begins to suspect that life is no farce; that it is not genteel comedy even; that it flowers and fructifies on the contrary out of the profoundest tragic depths of the essential death in which its

Charles Schulz


You see, I consider that a man's brain originally is like a little empty attic, and you have to stock it with such furniture as you choose. A fool takes in all the lumber of every sort he comes across, so that the knowledge which might be useful to

Charlie Crazy


The college graduate is presented with a sheepskin to cover his intellectual nakedness.

Charlot


Never have so many understood so little about so much.

Chateaubriand


The most difficult thing in the world is to know how to do a thing and to watch someone else doing it wrong, without commenting.

Chavez Cesar


Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.

Chaykin Howard


In spite of everything, I still believe that people are good at heart.

Chazal


Coincidences are spiritual puns.

Cheever John


The typewriting machine, when played with expression, is no more annoying than the piano when played by a sister or near relation.

Chesterson Gilbert K.


Eeny, Meeny, Jelly Beanie, the spirits are about to speak!

Chesterton G. K.


There's no justice in this world.

Chesterton G.K.


No evil can happen to a good man.

Chesterton G.K.


In my experience, if you have to keep the lavatory door shut by extending your left leg, it's modern architecture.

Chesterton G.K.


We were young and our happiness dazzled us with its strength. But there was also a terrible betrayal that lay within me like a Merle Haggard song at a French restaurant. [...] I could not tell the girl about the woman of the tollway, of her milk w

Chesterton G.K.


God is Dead.

Chesterton G.K.


One good turn deserves another.

Chesterton G.K.


Better late than never.

Chesterton G.K.


Nothing succeeds like success.

Chevalier Maurice


Alas, I am dying beyond my means.

Chevins Anthony


Everything is possible. Pass the word.

Chichester Reverend


Standards are different for all things, so the standard set by man is by no means the only 'certain' standard. If you mistake what is relative for something certain, you have strayed far from the ultimate truth.

Chill The Big


"Why are we importing all these highbrow plays like `Amadeus'? I could have told you Mozart was a jerk for nothing."

Chilo


The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence.

Chris Robert


It has long been noticed that juries are pitiless for robbery and full of indulgence for infanticide. A question of interest, my dear Sir! The jury is afraid of being robbed and has passed the age when it could be a victim of infanticide.

Christ Jesus


Nothing matters very much, and few things matter at all.

Chuang-tzu


A platitude is simply a truth repeated till people get tired of hearing it.

Chuang-tzu


Texas is Hell on woman and horses.

Chuck Jones


When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

Churchill


Life would be tolerable but for its amusements.

Churchill W.


Wait for that wisest of all counselors, Time.

Churchill Winston


Si jeunesse savait, si vieillesse pouvait. [If youth but knew, if old age but could.]

Churchill Winston


Words have a longer life than deeds.

Churchill Winston


The Law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich, as well as the poor, to sleep under the bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread.

Churchill Winston


Great acts are made up of small deeds.

Churchill Winston


Do not despair of life. You have no doubt force enough to overcome your obstacles. Think of the fox prowling through wood and field in a winter night for something to satisfy his hunger. Notwithstanding cold and hounds and traps, his race survives

Churchill Winston


Every man thinks God is on his side. The rich and powerful know that he is.

Churchill Winston


An atom-blaster is a good weapon, but it can point both ways.

Churchill Winston


Fortune Documents the Great Legal Decisions: We think that we may take judicial notice of the fact that the term "bitch" may imply some feeling of endearment when applied to a female of the canine species but that it is seldom, if ever, so used whe

Churchill Winston


When I was in school, I cheated on my metaphysics exam: I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.

Churchill Winston


I'd be a poorer man if I'd never seen an eagle fly.

Churchill Winston


There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?

Churchill Winston


IF I HAD A MINE SHAFT, I don't think I would just abandon it. There's got to be a better way.

Churchill Winston


There is an old time toast which is golden for its beauty. "When you ascend the hill of prosperity may you not meet a friend."

Churchill Winston


The white race is the cancer of history.

Churchill Winston


Rotten wood cannot be carved.

Churchill W.


Housework can kill you if done right.

Churchill W.


If you want to know what god thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.

Churchill Winston


Exceptions prove the rule, and wreck the budget.

Churchill Winston


I have ways of making money that you know nothing of.

Churchill Winston


By the middle 1880's, practically all the roads except those in the South, were of the present standard gauge. The southern roads were still five feet between rails. It was decided to change the gauge of all southern roads to standard, in one day

Churchill Winston


It is Mr. Mellon's credo that $200,000,000 can do no wrong. Our offense consists in doubting it.

Ciardi John


A little bit of rape is good for a man's soul.

Ciardi John


God instructs the heart, not by ideas, but by pains and contradictions.

Ciardi John


We're living in a golden age. All you need is gold.

Cicero Marcus Tullius


The lovely woman-child Kaa was mercilessly chained to the cruel post of the warrior-chief Beast, with his barbarian tribe now stacking wood at her nubile feet, when the strong clear voice of the poetic and heroic Handsomas roared, 'Flick your Bic, cr

Cicero Marcus Tullius


Littering is dumb.

Claghorn Senator


A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.

Clapton Eric


Things past redress and now with me past care.

Clarence Darrow to William


HR 3128. Omnibus Budget Reconciliation, Fiscal 1986. Martin, R-Ill., motion that the House recede from its disagreement to the Senate amendment making changes in the bill to reduce fiscal 1986 deficits. The Senate amendment was an amendment to the

Clark Alex


There is no doubt that my lawyer is honest. For example, when he filed his income tax return last year, he declared half of his salary as 'unearned income.'

Clark Blake


It's very glamorous to raise millions of dollars, until it's time for the venture capitalist to suck your eyeballs out.

Clark Ramsey


Patch griefs with proverbs.

Clarke Arthur


Tempt not a desperate man.

Clarke Arthur C.


Do not use that foreign word "ideals". We have that excellent native word "lies".

Clarke Arthur C.


The universe is made of stories, not of atoms.

Cleaver Eldridge


The greatest griefs are those we cause ourselves.

Clemenceau


Don't get mad, get even.

Clement Hal


Many enraged psychiatrists are inciting a weary butcher. The butcher is weary and tired because he has cut meat and steak and lamb for hours and weeks. He does not desire to chant about anything with raving psychiatrists, but he sings about his gin

Cleyre Voltarine de


You may have heard that a dean is to faculty as a hydrant is to a dog.

Clifton Fadiman


Today's thrilling story has been brought to you by Mushies, the great new cereal that gets soggy even without milk or cream. Join us soon for more spectacular adventure starring... Tippy, the Wonder Dog!

Clopton R.


He who knows others is wise. He who knows himself is enlightened.

Clough Arthur


I remember when legal used to mean lawful, now it means some kind of loophole.

Cocteau Jean


Use an accordion. Go to jail.

Cocteau Jean


For certain people, after fifty, litigation takes the place of sex.

Cohan George M.


I dote on his very absence.

Cohan George M.


That's no moon...

Cohen Mickey


Nullum magnum ingenium sine mixtura dementiae fuit. [There is no great genius without some touch of madness.]

Cohen Leonard


One man's Mede is another man's Persian.

Cointment Joe


Seize the day, put no trust in the morrow!

Coke Sir Edward


He who knows that enough is enough will always have enough.

Col Lew


Art is a lie which makes us realize the truth.

Colby Frank Moore


"If once a man indulges himself in murder, very soon he comes to think little of robbing; and from robbing he next comes to drinking and Sabbath-breaking, and from that to incivility and procrastination."

Colby F.M.


Mike: "The Fourth Dimension is a shambles?" Bernie: "Nobody ever empties the ashtrays. People are SO inconsiderate."

Colton


The sky is blue so we know where to stop mowing.

Colton C.C.


I believe that the moment is near when by a procedure of active paranoiac thought, it will be possible to systematize confusion and contribute to the total discrediting of the world of reality.

Comics Green Lantern


Of all men's miseries, the bitterest is this: to know so much and have control over nothing.

Confucius


One learns to itch where one can scratch.

Confucius


Education is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember from time to time that nothing that is worth knowing can be taught.

Confucius


The primary cause of failure in electrical appliances is an expired warranty. Often, you can get an appliance running again simply by changing the warranty expiration date with a 15/64-inch felt-tipped marker.

Confucius


What one fool can do, another can.

Confucius


Where it is a duty to worship the sun it is pretty sure to be a crime to examine the laws of heat.

Confucius


There are two ways of disliking art. One is to dislike it. The other is to like it rationally.

Confucius


If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.

Confucius


If I could drop dead right now, I'd be the happiest man alive!

Confucius


A violent man will die a violent death.

Conrad


Modern art is what happens when painters stop looking at girls and persuade themselves that they have a better idea.

Conrad Joseph


When I reflect upon the number of disagreeable people who I know who have gone to a better world, I am moved to lead a different life.

Conrad Joseph


The chief enemy of creativity is "good" sense

Coo Alistair


Well begun is half done.

Cooke Alistair


If you have to ask what jazz is, you'll never know.

Cooke Alistair


Well, he thought, since neither Aristotelian Logic nor the disciplines of Science seemed to offer much hope, it's time to go beyond them... Drawing a few deep even breaths, he entered a mental state practiced only by Masters of the Universal Way of

Coolidge Calvin


Life is one long struggle in the dark.

Coolidge Calvin


When in doubt, mumble; when in trouble, delegate; when in charge, ponder.

Coolidge Calvin


"I have to convince you, or at least snow you ..."

Coolidge Calvin


Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing at the moment.

Coolidge Calvin


Bingo, gas station, hamburger with a side order of airplane noise, and you'll be Gary, Indiana.

Coolidge Calvin


Judges, as a class, display, in the matter of arranging alimony, that reckless generosity which is found only in men who are giving away someone else's cash.

Coolidge Calvin


He that breaks a thing to find out what it is has left the path of wisdom.

Cooper A.


Of all possible committee reactions to any given agenda item, the reaction that will occur is the one which will liberate the greatest amount of hot air.

Cooper Jeff


The farther you go, the less you know.

Corwin Prince of


The individual choice of garnishment of a burger can be an important point to the consumer in this day when individualism is an increasingly important thing to people.

Costello E.


I just asked myself... what would John DeLorean do?

Costello Elvis


Hating the Yankees is as American as pizza pie, unwed mothers and cheating on your income tax.

Costello Elvis


If a shameless woman expects to be defiled and then dies of her fierce love because you do not consent, will chastity also be homicide?

Costello Elvis


No small art is it to sleep: it is necessary for that purpose to keep awake all day.

Coult Alan


"Whom are you?" said he, for he had been to night school.

Couple The Odd


If a man stay away from his wife for seven years, the law presumes the separation to have killed him; yet according to our daily experience, it might well prolong his life.

Cousins Norman


A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.

Cousins Norman


I had another dream the other day about music critics. They were small and rodent-like with padlocked ears, as if they had stepped out of a painting by Goya.

Coward Noel


(1) Avoid fried meats which angry up the blood. (2) If your stomach antagonizes you, pacify it with cool thoughts. (3) Keep the juices flowing by jangling around gently as you move. (4) Go very lightly on the vices, such as carrying on in society, as

Cowboy The


Nothing is so firmly believed as that which we least know.

Crane Dr. Frank


The course of true anything never does run smooth.

Crane Frank


It is when I struggle to be brief that I become obscure.

Crane Stephen


Diary of a Young Girl LITE(tm)

Crane Stephen


By working faithfully eight hours a day, you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve.

Credo The Webb Wilder


It's is not, it isn't ain't, and it's it's, not its, if you mean it is. If you don't, it's its. Then too, it's hers. It isn't her's. It isn't our's either. It's ours, and likewise yours and theirs.

Crisp Quentin


If all the world's a stage, I want to operate the trap door.

Crisp Quentin


Death is life's way of telling you you've been fired.

Crisp Quentin


The bone-chilling scream split the warm summer night in two, the first half being before the scream when it was fairly balmy and calm and pleasant, the second half still balmy and quite pleasant for those who hadn't heard the scream at all, but not c

Croll John


Never buy what you do not want because it is cheap; it will be dear to you.

Cromwell Oliver


You can't run away forever, But there's nothing wrong with getting a good head start.

Crosby Norm


America is a large, friendly dog in a very small room. Every time it wags its tail, it knocks over a chair.

Crowe Joe


"Cogito ergo I'm right and you're wrong."

Crumb R.


It is common sense to take a method and try it. If it fails, admit it frankly and try another. But above all, try something.

Cuomo Mario


If you laid all of our laws end to end, there would be no end.

Curtis Charles


Yevtushenko has... an ego that can crack crystal at a distance of twenty feet.

Cynic Diogenes the


To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.

caption Weber cartoon





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Here I am, fifty-eight, and I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up.
Drucker Peter

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