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She cried, and the judge wiped her tears with my checkbook.

Ca Mona


I've got a very bad feeling about this.

Cadmus


Where it is a duty to worship the sun it is pretty sure to be a crime to examine the laws of heat.

Caen Herb


A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.

Caen Herb


A game can by God repent or we'll punish it. That's how they did it in Salem in the seventeenth century, and that's how we'll do it now.

Caesar Augustus


The ratio of literacy to illiteracy is a constant, but nowadays the illiterates can read.

Caesar Augustus


Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it.

Caesar Gaius Julius


Five bicycles make a volkswagen, seven make a truck.

Caesar Gaius Julius


Suffering alone exists, none who suffer; The deed there is, but no doer thereof; Nirvana is, but no one is seeking it; The Path there is, but none who travel it.

Caesar Gaius Julius


If a jury in a criminal trial stays out for more than twenty-four hours, it is certain to vote acquittal, save in those instances where it votes guilty.

Caesar Julius


There are three reasons for becoming a writer: the first is that you need the money; the second that you have something to say that you think the world should know; the third is that you can't think what to do with the long winter evenings.

Caesar Sid


The coast was clear.

Cage John


In India, "cold weather" is merely a conventional phrase and has come into use through the necessity of having some way to distinguish between weather which will melt a brass door-knob and weather which will only make it mushy.

Cage John


Good salesmen and good repairmen will never go hungry.

Callimachus


He who knows others is wise. He who knows himself is enlightened.

Cam Kurt Vonnegut


Whatever doesn't succeed in two months and a half in California will never succeed.

Cameron Simon


If someone had told me I would be Pope one day, I would have studied harder.

Cami Pat Calafia


Mandrell: "You know what I think?" Doctor: "Ah, ah that's a catch question. With a brain your size you don't think, right?"

Camp Henry N.


There is always one thing to remember: writers are always selling somebody out.

Camus


Let your conscience be your guide.

Camus A.


Art is Nature speeded up and God slowed down.

Camus Albert


Two can Live as Cheaply as One for Half as Long.

Camus Albert


The abuse of greatness is when it disjoins remorse from power.

Camus Albert


Praise the sea; on shore remain.

Camus Albert


"If a camel flies, no one laughs if it doesn't get very far."

Camus Albert


I value kindness to human beings first of all, and kindness to animals. I don't respect the law; I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger, the food cheaper, and old men

Capone Al


Persons attempting to find a motive in this narrative will be prosecuted; persons attempting to find a moral in it will be banished; persons attempting to find a plot in it will be shot. By Order of the Author

Capone Al


If I had a formula for bypassing trouble, I would not pass it around. Trouble creates a capacity to handle it. I don't say embrace trouble; that's as bad as treating it as an enemy. But I do say meet it as a friend, for you'll see a lot of it and y

Capone Al


... before I could come to any conclusion it occurred to me that my speech or my silence, indeed any action of mine, would be a mere futility. What did it matter what anyone knew or ignored? What did it matter who was manager? One gets sometimes s

Capp Andy


The superior man understands what is right; the inferior man understands what will sell.

Captain Ahab


He who makes a beast of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man.

Cardozo Benjamin


A woman's a woman until the day she dies, but a man's only a man as long as he can.

Carlevale Edmund


Being a miner, as soon as you're too old and tired and sick and stupid to do your job properly, you have to go, where the very opposite applies with the judges.

Carlin George


A sad spectacle. If they be inhabited, what a scope for misery and folly. If they be not inhabited, what a waste of space.

Carlyle


It is a wise father that knows his own child.

Carlyle Thomas


The chief enemy of creativity is "good" sense

Carlyle Thomas


Let others praise ancient times; I am glad I was born in these.

Carlyle Thomas


The plot was designed in a light vein that somehow became varicose.

Carlyle Thomas


Would that my hand were as swift as my tongue.

Carnegie Andrew


An ounce of mother is worth a ton of priest.

Carpenter Elizabeth


Take care of the luxuries and the necessities will take care of themselves.

Carroll Lewis


To accuse others for one's own misfortunes is a sign of want of education. To accuse oneself shows that one's education has begun. To accuse neither oneself nor others shows that one's education is complete.

Carroll Lewis


Sho' they got to have it against the law. Shoot, ever'body git high, they wouldn't be nobody git up and feed the chickens. Hee-hee.

Carroll Lewis


Lay on, MacDuff, and curs'd be him who first cries, "Hold, enough!".

Carroll Lewis


Welcome to Lake Wobegon, where all the men are strong, the women are pretty, and the children are above-average.

Carroll Lewis


I think we're in trouble.

Carson Johnny


A businessman is a hybrid of a dancer and a calculator.

Carson Johnny


This is the first age that's paid much attention to the future, which is a little ironic since we may not have one.

Carson Johnny


We have art that we do not die of the truth.

Carson Johnny


Let's say your wedding ring falls into your toaster, and when you stick your hand in to retrieve it, you suffer Pain and Suffering as well as Mental Anguish. You would sue: * The toaster manufacturer, for failure to include, in the instructions

Carter Jimmy


The tree in which the sap is stagnant remains fruitless.

Carus Titus Lucretius


The best executive is one who has sense enough to pick good people to do what he wants done, and self-restraint enough to keep from meddling with them while they do it.

Carus Titus Lucretius


Time is but the stream I go a-fishing in.

Carus Titus Lucretius


You can observe a lot just by watching.

Carus Titus Lucretius


Love the sea? I dote upon it

Cassidy Butch


I have a very strange feeling about this...

Castro Fidel


One big pile is better than two little piles.

Catalog Whole Earth


"You boys lookin' for trouble?" "Sure. Whaddya got?"

Catflap Filthy Rich and


There are no answers, only cross-references.

Catlin Wynn


Nonsense and beauty have close connections.

Cato


It is common sense to take a method and try it. If it fails, admit it frankly and try another. But above all, try something.

Cato Marcus Procius


I don't have any use for bodyguards, but I do have a specific use for two highly trained certified public accountants.

Catullus Gaius Valerius


Optimism is the content of small men in high places.

Catullus Gaius Valerius


Whom the mad would destroy, first they make Gods.

Catullus Gaius Valerius


Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely.

Caussade De


This was the most unkindest cut of all.

Cavour Camillo Di


Rembrandt is not to be compared in the painting of character with our extraordinarily gifted English artist, Mr. Rippingille.

Celine Louis-Ferdinand


The philosopher's treatment of a question is like the treatment of an illness.

Cervantes


I never cheated an honest man, only rascals. They wanted something for nothing. I gave them nothing for something.

Cervantes


Our policy is, when in doubt, do the right thing.

Cervantes


The only cultural advantage LA has over NY is that you can make a right turn on a red light.

Cervantes


The Priest's grey nimbus in a niche where he dressed discreetly. I will not sleep here tonight. Home also I cannot go. A voice, sweetened and sustained, called to him from the sea. Turning the curve he waved his hand. A sleek brown head, a seal's,

Cervantes Miguel de


"Rembrandt's first name was Beauregard, which is why he never used it."

Cervantes Miguel de


The greatest griefs are those we cause ourselves.

Cervantes Miguel de


You can fool all the people all of the time if the advertising is right and the budget is big enough.

Cervantes Miguel de


It is a sobering thought that when Mozart was my age, he had been dead for two years.

Cervantes Miguel de


Being a miner, as soon as you're too old and tired and sick and stupid to do your job properly, you have to go, where the very opposite applies with the judges.

Cervantes Miguel de


"God gives burdens; also shoulders" Jimmy Carter cited this Jewish saying in his concession speech at the end of the 1980 election. At least he said it was a Jewish saying; I can't find it anywhere. I'm sure he's telling the truth though; why wo

Cervantes Miguel de


A committee takes root and grows, it flowers, wilts and dies, scattering the seed from which other committees will bloom.

Cervantes Miguel de


God gave man two ears and one tongue so that we listen twice as much as we speak.

Cervantes Miguel de


It is ridiculous to call this an industry. This is not. This is rat eat rat, dog eat dog. I'll kill 'em, and I'm going to kill 'em before they kill me. You're talking about the American way of survival of the fittest.

Cervantes Miguel de


Judges, as a class, display, in the matter of arranging alimony, that reckless generosity which is found only in men who are giving away someone else's cash.

Cervantes Miguel de


Let us endeavor so to live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.

Ch St. John


What one believes to be true either is true or becomes true.

Chadwick Hal


Every man who has reached even his intellectual teens begins to suspect that life is no farce; that it is not genteel comedy even; that it flowers and fructifies on the contrary out of the profoundest tragic depths of the essential death in which its

Chamfort Nicolas


Playing an unamplified electric guitar is like strumming on a picnic table.

Chandler Raymond


Nothing is so firmly believed as that which we least know.

Chandler Raymond


I need another lawyer like I need another hole in my head.

Chandler Raymond


A woman occasionally is quite a serviceable substitute for masturbation. It takes an abundance of imagination, to be sure.

Chandler Raymond


I will make you shorter by the head.

Channing William Ellery


There's no justice in this world.

Chapelain Maurice


Naked children have never played in _o_u_r fountains, and I.M. Pei will never be happy on Route 66.

Chaplin Charlie


The great question that has never been answered and which I have not yet been able to answer despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul is: WHAT DOES A WOMAN WANT?

Chapman George


Public use of any portable music system is a virtually guaranteed indicator of sociopathic tendencies.

Charles Chincholles


IV. The time required for an object to fall twenty stories is greater than or equal to the time it takes for whoever knocked it off the ledge to spiral down twenty flights to attempt to capture it unbroken. Such an object is inevitably price

Charles Darling


The pollution's at that awkward stage. Too thick to navigate and too thin to cultivate.

Charles Darling


He draweth out the thread of his verbosity finer than the staple of his argument.

Charles Dickens


We're only in it for the volume.

Charles Dickens


It looks like it's up to me to save our skins. Get into that garbage chute, flyboy!

Charles Dickens


I think we are in Rats' Alley where the dead men lost their bones.

Charles Ives


"Well," Brahma said, "even after ten thousand explanations, a fool is no wiser, but an intelligent man requires only two thousand five hundred."

Charles Schulz


I value kindness to human beings first of all, and kindness to animals. I don't respect the law; I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger, the food cheaper, and old men

Charlie Crazy


You will remember, Watson, how the dreadful business of the Abernetty family was first brought to my notice by the depth which the parsley had sunk into the butter upon a hot day.

Charlot


Marijuana will be legal some day, because the many law students who now smoke pot will someday become congressmen and legalize it in order to protect themselves.

Chateaubriand


Briefly stated, the findings are that when presented with an array of data or a sequence of events in which they are instructed to discover an underlying order, subjects show strong tendencies to perceive order and causality in random arrays, to perc

Chavez Cesar


Depend on the rabbit's foot if you will, but remember, it didn't help the rabbit.

Chaykin Howard


All art is but imitation of nature.

Chazal


The ideal voice for radio may be defined as showing no substance, no sex, no owner, and a message of importance for every housewife.

Cheever John


If the English language made any sense, lackadaisical would have something to do with a shortage of flowers.

Chesterson Gilbert K.


Ignorance is never out of style. It was in fashion yesterday, it is the rage today, and it will set the pace tomorrow.

Chesterton G. K.


If happiness is in your destiny, you need not be in a hurry.

Chesterton G.K.


Joe Cool always spends the first two weeks at college sailing his frisbee.

Chesterton G.K.


Working with Julie Andrews is like getting hit over the head with a valentine.

Chesterton G.K.


The [Ford Foundation] is a large body of money completely surrounded by people who want some.

Chesterton G.K.


My problem lies in reconciling my gross habits with my net income.

Chesterton G.K.


You knew the job was dangerous when you took it, Fred.

Chesterton G.K.


Consider the postage stamp: its usefulness consists in the ability to stick to one thing till it gets there.

Chesterton G.K.


Everything takes longer, costs more, and is less useful.

Chevalier Maurice


A sinking ship gathers no moss.

Chevins Anthony


Immature poets imitate, mature poets steal.

Chichester Reverend


Misery no longer loves company. Nowadays it insists on it.

Chill The Big


Take the folks at Coca-Cola. For many years, they were content to sit back and make the same old carbonated beverage. It was a good beverage, no question about it; generations of people had grown up drinking it and doing the experiment in sixth gr

Chilo


Nothing is so firmly believed as that which we least know.

Chris Robert


Like ya know? Rock 'N Roll is an esoteric language that unlocks the creativity chambers in people's brains, and like totally activates their essential hipness, which of course is like totally necessary for saving the earth, like because the first th

Christ Jesus


From a certain point onward there is no longer any turning back. That is the point that must be reached.

Chuang-tzu


Advertising is a valuable economic factor because it is the cheapest way of selling goods, particularly if the goods are worthless.

Chuang-tzu


There is no fool to the old fool.

Chuck Jones


Save the Whales

Churchill


If you live in New York, even if you're Catholic, you're Jewish.

Churchill W.


No man is an Iland, intire of it selfe; every man is a peece of the Continent, a part of the maine; if a Clod bee washed away by the Sea, Europe is the lesse, as well as if a Promontorie were, as well as if a Mannor of thy friends or of thine owne we

Churchill Winston


Baseball is a skilled game. It's America's game - it, and high taxes.

Churchill Winston


He who fears the unknown may one day flee from his own backside.

Churchill Winston


The race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, but that's the way to bet.

Churchill Winston


Be regular and orderly in your life, so that you may be violent and original in your work.

Churchill Winston


If there were a school for, say, sheet metal workers, that after three years left its graduates as unprepared for their careers as does law school, it would be closed down in a minute, and no doubt by lawyers.

Churchill Winston


Practice is the best of all instructors.

Churchill Winston


Gay shlafen: Yiddish for "go to sleep". Now doesn't "gay shlafen" have a softer, more soothing sound than the harsh, staccato "go to sleep"? Listen to the difference: "Go to sleep, you little wretch!" ... "Gay shlafen, darling." Obvious, isn't

Churchill Winston


If it doesn't smell yet, it's pretty fresh.

Churchill Winston


Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.

Churchill Winston


Churchill Winston


Walking on water wasn't built in a day.

Churchill Winston


Credit ... is the only enduring testimonial to man's confidence in man.

Churchill Winston


Never buy from a rich salesman.

Churchill Winston


Perfection is reached, not when there is no longer anything to add, but when there is no longer anything to take away.

Churchill Winston


I reverently believe that the maker who made us all makes everything in New England, but the weather. I don't know who makes that, but I think it must be raw apprentices in the weather-clerks factory who experiment and learn how, in New England, fo

Churchill W.


By protracting life, we do not deduct one jot from the duration of death.

Churchill W.


"I'm in Pittsburgh. Why am I here?"

Churchill Winston


At ebb tide I wrote a line upon the sand, and gave it all my heart and all my soul. At flood tide I returned to read what I had inscribed and found my ignorance upon the shore.

Churchill Winston


Death is a spirit leaving a body, sort of like a shell leaving the nut behind.

Churchill Winston


Divorce is a game played by lawyers.

Churchill Winston


Plots are like girdles. Hidden, they hold your interest; revealed, they're of no interest except to fetishists. Like girdles, they attempt to contain an uncontainable experience.

Ciardi John


Perhaps, after all, America never has been discovered. I myself would say that it had merely been detected.

Ciardi John


Television has proved that people will look at anything rather than each other.

Ciardi John


My dear People. My dear Bagginses and Boffins, and my dear Tooks and Brandybucks, and Grubbs, and Chubbs, and Burrowses, and Hornblowers, and Bolgers, Bracegirdles, Goodbodies, Brockhouses and Proudfoots. Also my good Sackville Bagginses that I w

Cicero Marcus Tullius


Philosophy will clip an angel's wings.

Cicero Marcus Tullius


The eye is a menace to clear sight, the ear is a menace to subtle hearing, the mind is a menace to wisdom, every organ of the senses is a menace to its own capacity. ... Fuss, the god of the Southern Ocean, and Fret, the god of the Northern Ocean, h

Claghorn Senator


Words have a longer life than deeds.

Clapton Eric


Save a little money each month and at the end of the year you'll be surprised at how little you have.

Clarence Darrow to William


I remember when legal used to mean lawful, now it means some kind of loophole.

Clark Alex


To be or not to be.

Clark Blake


October. This is one of the peculiarly dangerous months to speculate in stocks in. The others are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, December, August, and February.

Clark Ramsey


Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead.

Clarke Arthur


I have had my television aerials removed. It's the moral equivalent of a prostate operation.

Clarke Arthur C.


To every Ph.D. there is an equal and opposite Ph.D.

Clarke Arthur C.


No evil can happen to a good man.

Cleaver Eldridge


You can never do just one thing.

Clemenceau


He that breaks a thing to find out what it is has left the path of wisdom.

Clement Hal


The Soviet pre-eminence in chess can be traced to the average Russian's readiness to brood obsessively over anything, even the arrangement of some pieces of wood. Indeed, the Russians' predisposition for quiet reflection followed by sudden preventi

Cleyre Voltarine de


Nice guys finish last.

Clifton Fadiman


Live fast, die young, and leave a flat patch of fur on the highway!

Clopton R.


It's odd, and a little unsettling, to reflect upon the fact that English is the only major language in which "I" is capitalized; in many other languages "You" is capitalized and the "i" is lower case.

Clough Arthur


"Every morning, I get up and look through the 'Forbes' list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work"

Cocteau Jean


I have defined the hundred per cent American as ninety-nine per cent an idiot.

Cocteau Jean


A memorandum is written not to inform the reader, but to protect the writer.

Cohan George M.


Age before beauty; and pearls before swine.

Cohan George M.


Fill what's empty, empty what's full, scratch where it itches.

Cohen Mickey


One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.

Cohen Leonard


The final delusion is the belief that one has lost all delusions.

Cointment Joe


A committee is a group that keeps the minutes and loses hours.

Coke Sir Edward


There's no such thing as a free lunch.

Col Lew


I am a deeply superficial person.

Colby Frank Moore


Reality is nothing but a collective hunch.

Colby F.M.


Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?

Colton


Charity begins at home.

Colton C.C.


Don't guess

Comics Green Lantern


Small things make base men proud.

Confucius


Modern art is what happens when painters stop looking at girls and persuade themselves that they have a better idea.

Confucius


Instead of loving your enemies, treat your friends a little better.

Confucius


The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence.

Confucius


Remark of Dr. Baldwin's concerning upstarts: We don't care to eat toadstools that think they are truffles.

Confucius


Would it help if I got out and pushed?

Confucius


For fools rush in where angels fear to tread.

Confucius


Have a place for everything and keep the thing somewhere else; this is not advice, it is merely custom.

Confucius


Facts, apart from their relationships, are like labels on empty bottles.

Confucius


There are three infallible ways of pleasing an author, and the three form a rising scale of compliment: 1, to tell him you have read one of his books; 2, to tell him you have read all of his books; 3, to ask him to let you read the manuscript of his

Conrad


Si jeunesse savait, si vieillesse pouvait. [If youth but knew, if old age but could.]

Conrad Joseph


In dwelling, be close to the land. In meditation, delve deep into the heart. In dealing with others, be gentle and kind. In speech, be true. In work, be competent. In action, be careful of your timing.

Conrad Joseph


You mentioned your name as if I should recognize it, but beyond the obvious facts that you are a bachelor, a solicitor, a freemason, and an asthmatic, I know nothing whatever about you.

Coo Alistair


A fake fortuneteller can be tolerated. But an authentic soothsayer should be shot on sight. Cassandra did not get half the kicking around she deserved.

Cooke Alistair


Whenever the literary German dives into a sentence, that is the last you are going to see of him until he emerges on the other side of his Atlantic with his verb in his mouth.

Cooke Alistair


Imitation is the sincerest form of television.

Coolidge Calvin


British education is probably the best in the world, if you can survive it. If you can't there is nothing left for you but the diplomatic corps.

Coolidge Calvin


What an artist dies with me!

Coolidge Calvin


It is a lesson which all history teaches wise men, to put trust in ideas, and not in circumstances.

Coolidge Calvin


What does education often do? It makes a straight cut ditch of a free meandering brook.

Coolidge Calvin


Only that in you which is me can hear what I'm saying.

Coolidge Calvin


Oh what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive.

Coolidge Calvin


A woman takes off her claim to respect along with her garments.

Cooper A.


"There is no Father Christmas. It's just a marketing ploy to make low income parents' lives a misery." "... I want you to picture the trusting face of a child, streaked with tears because of what you just said." "I want you to picture the face of

Cooper Jeff


If reporters don't know that truth is plural, they ought to be lawyers.

Corwin Prince of


May you live in uninteresting times.

Costello E.


When a fellow says, "It ain't the money but the principle of the thing," it's the money.

Costello Elvis


In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes.

Costello Elvis


It's hard to drive at the limit, but it's harder to know where the limits are.

Costello Elvis


I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark.

Coult Alan


If I were a grave-digger or even a hangman, there are some people I could work for with a great deal of enjoyment.

Couple The Odd


Work is of two kinds: first, altering the position of matter at or near the earth's surface relative to other matter; second, telling other people to do so.

Cousins Norman


Education is what survives when what has been learnt has been forgotten.

Cousins Norman


New Jersey is not the armpit of the nation; it's the asshole of the universe.

Coward Noel


Things are more like they are today than they ever were before.

Cowboy The


To know Edina is to reject it.

Crane Dr. Frank


"Whom are you?" said he, for he had been to night school.

Crane Frank


I went to a Grateful Dead Concert and they played for SEVEN hours. Great song.

Crane Stephen


He jests at scars who never felt a wound.

Crane Stephen


A likely impossibility is always preferable to an unconvincing possibility.

Credo The Webb Wilder


Certain passages in several laws have always defied interpretation and the most inexplicable must be a matter of opinion. A judge of the Court of Session of Scotland has sent the editors of this book his candidate which reads, "In the Nuts (unground

Crisp Quentin


The better part of valor is discretion.

Crisp Quentin


A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.

Crisp Quentin


The mosquito is the state bird of New Jersey.

Croll John


The mome rath isn't born that could outgrabe me.

Cromwell Oliver


The lawgiver, of all beings, most owes the law allegiance. He of all men should behave as though the law compelled him. But it is the universal weakness of mankind that what we are given to administer we presently imagine we own.

Crosby Norm


San Francisco isn't what it used to be, and it never was.

Crowe Joe


Burnt Sienna. That's the best thing that ever happened to Crayolas.

Crumb R.


[The French Riviera is] a sunny place for shady people.

Cuomo Mario


Do not seek death; death will find you. But seek the road which makes death a fulfillment.

Curtis Charles


"Hi, I'm Preston A. Mantis, president of Consumers Retail Law Outlet. As you can see by my suit and the fact that I have all these books of equal height on the shelves behind me, I am a trained legal attorney. Do you have a car or a job? Do you ever

Cynic Diogenes the


No problem is so formidable that you can't just walk away from it.

caption Weber cartoon





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People never lie so much as after a hunt, during a war, or before an election.
Bismarck Otto Von

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