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Several years ago, some smart businessmen had an idea: Why not build a big store where a do-it-yourselfer could get everything he needed at reasonable prices? Then they decided, nah, the hell with that, let's build a home center. And before long ho

Ca Mona

Anything that is worth doing has been done frequently. Things hitherto undone should be given, I suspect, a wide berth.


Every young man should have a hobby: learning how to handle money is the best one.

Caen Herb

Go away, I'm all right.

Caen Herb

A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.

Caesar Augustus

The idea there was that consumers would bring their broken electronic devices, such as television sets and VCR's, to the destruction centers, where trained personnel would whack them (the devices) with sledgehammers. With their devices thus permanent

Caesar Augustus

Perhaps the remembrance of these things will prove a source of future pleasure.

Caesar Gaius Julius

Praise the sea; on shore remain.

Caesar Gaius Julius

Mum's the word.

Caesar Gaius Julius

The course of true anything never does run smooth.

Caesar Julius

The superior man understands what is right; the inferior man understands what will sell.

Caesar Sid

Column 1 Column 2 Column 3 0. integrated 0. management 0. options 1. total 1. organizational 1. flexibility 2. systematized 2. monitored 2. capability 3. parallel 3. reciprocal 3. mobility 4. functional 4. digital 4. programming 5. re

Cage John

"There is no Father Christmas. It's just a marketing ploy to make low income parents' lives a misery." "... I want you to picture the trusting face of a child, streaked with tears because of what you just said." "I want you to picture the face of

Cage John

Brahma said: Well, after hearing ten thousand explanations, a fool is no wiser. But an intelligent man needs only two thousand five hundred.


CF&C stole it, fair and square.

Cam Kurt Vonnegut

It is when I struggle to be brief that I become obscure.

Cameron Simon

What we cannot speak about we must pass over in silence.

Cami Pat Calafia

I hate quotations.

Camp Henry N.

A word to the wise is enough.


If we don't survive, we don't do anything else.

Camus A.

I'm going to raise an issue and stick it in your ear.

Camus Albert

There are two kinds of pedestrians... the quick and the dead.

Camus Albert

I: The best way to make a silk purse from a sow's ear is to begin with a silk sow. The same is true of money. II: If today were half as good as tomorrow is supposed to be, it would probably be twice as good as yesterday was. III: There are

Camus Albert

Those who do things in a noble spirit of self-sacrifice are to be avoided at all costs.

Camus Albert

If a jury in a criminal trial stays out for more than twenty-four hours, it is certain to vote acquittal, save in those instances where it votes guilty.

Camus Albert

Anything is possible on paper.

Capone Al

"You would do well not to imagine profundity," he said. "Anything that seems of momentous occasion should be dwelt upon as though it were of slight note. Conversely, trivialities must be attended to with the greatest of care. Because death is moment

Capone Al

A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on.

Capone Al

Long were the days of pain I have spent within its walls, and long were the nights of aloneness; and who can depart from his pain and his aloneness without regret?

Capp Andy

If the path be beautiful, let us not ask where it leads.

Captain Ahab

There is a natural hootchy-kootchy to a goldfish.

Cardozo Benjamin

No problem is so formidable that you can't just walk away from it.

Carlevale Edmund

Don't steal; thou'lt never thus compete successfully in business. Cheat.

Carlin George

"Do you think there's a God?" "Well, ____SOMEbody's out to get me!"


For every bloke who makes his mark, there's half a dozen waiting to rub it out.

Carlyle Thomas

"Life is too important to take seriously."

Carlyle Thomas

The term "fire" brings up visions of violence and mayhem and the ugly scene of shooting employees who make mistakes. We will now refer to this process as "deleting" an employee (much as a file is deleted from a disk). The employee is simply there o

Carlyle Thomas

Odets, where is thy sting?

Carlyle Thomas

"What's the use of a good quotation if you can't change it?"

Carnegie Andrew

Every man thinks God is on his side. The rich and powerful know that he is.

Carpenter Elizabeth

Housework can kill you if done right.

Carroll Lewis

Don't tell me how hard you work. Tell me how much you get done.

Carroll Lewis

Arrakis teaches the attitude of the knife - chopping off what's incomplete and saying: "Now it's complete because it's ended here."

Carroll Lewis

He that bringeth a present, findeth the door open.

Carroll Lewis

Patience is the best remedy for every trouble.

Carroll Lewis

If what they've been doing hasn't solved the problem, tell them to do something else.

Carson Johnny

All the big corporations depreciate their possessions, and you can, too, provided you use them for business purposes. For example, if you subscribe to the Wall Street Journal, a business-related newspaper, you can deduct the cost of your house, beca

Carson Johnny

If there is no wind, row.

Carson Johnny

XLI: The more one produces, the less one gets. XLII: Simple systems are not feasible because they require infinite testing. XLIII: Hardware works best when it matters the least. XLIV: Aircraft flight in the 21st century will always be in a we

Carson Johnny

Innovation is hard to schedule.

Carter Jimmy

Receiving a million dollars tax free will make you feel better than being flat broke and having a stomach ache.

Carus Titus Lucretius

Standards are different for all things, so the standard set by man is by no means the only 'certain' standard. If you mistake what is relative for something certain, you have strayed far from the ultimate truth.

Carus Titus Lucretius

"The chain which can be yanked is not the eternal chain."

Carus Titus Lucretius

Well, the handwriting is on the floor.

Carus Titus Lucretius

After the game the king and the pawn go in the same box.

Cassidy Butch

Facts are the enemy of truth.

Castro Fidel

Then a man said: Speak to us of Expectations. He then said: If a man does not see or hear the waters of the Jordan, then he should not taste the pomegranate or ply his wares in an open market. If a man would not labour in the salt and rock quarri

Catalog Whole Earth

The greatest productive force is human selfishness.

Catflap Filthy Rich and

Take the folks at Coca-Cola. For many years, they were content to sit back and make the same old carbonated beverage. It was a good beverage, no question about it; generations of people had grown up drinking it and doing the experiment in sixth gr

Catlin Wynn


A dream will always triumph over reality, once it is given the chance.

Cato Marcus Procius

The adjective is the banana peel of the parts of speech.

Catullus Gaius Valerius

Eighteen goddess-like daughters are not equal to one son with a hump.

Catullus Gaius Valerius

Whatever is not nailed down is mine. Whatever I can pry up is not nailed down.

Catullus Gaius Valerius

Save a little money each month and at the end of the year you'll be surprised at how little you have.

Caussade De

If a man has a strong faith he can indulge in the luxury of skepticism.

Cavour Camillo Di

There seems no plan because it is all plan.

Celine Louis-Ferdinand

XI: If the Earth could be made to rotate twice as fast, managers would get twice as much done. If the Earth could be made to rotate twenty times as fast, everyone else would get twice as much done since all the managers would fly off. XII: I


The most delightful day after the one on which you buy a cottage in the country is the one on which you resell it.


Work is the crab grass in the lawn of life.


If you do not think about the future, you cannot have one.


If you would know the value of money, go try to borrow some.

Cervantes Miguel de

Human resources are human first, and resources second.

Cervantes Miguel de

Well, you know, no matter where you go, there you are.

Cervantes Miguel de

The truth is what is; what should be is a dirty lie.

Cervantes Miguel de

The truth of a thing is the feel of it, not the think of it.

Cervantes Miguel de

Two wrongs are only the beginning.

Cervantes Miguel de

A committee takes root and grows, it flowers, wilts and dies, scattering the seed from which other committees will bloom.

Cervantes Miguel de

Absolutum obsoletum. (If it works, it's out of date.)

Cervantes Miguel de

One picture is worth more than ten thousand words.

Cervantes Miguel de

To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.

Cervantes Miguel de

My problem lies in reconciling my gross habits with my net income.

Cervantes Miguel de

... why should you waste a single moment of *your* life seeming to be something you don't want to be? Lord, that's so simple. If you hate your job, quit it. If your friends are tedious, go out and find new friends. You are queer, you lucky fool, a

Ch St. John

Once there lived a village of creatures along the bottom of a great crystal river. Each creature in its own manner clung tightly to the twigs and rocks of the river bottom, for clinging was their way of life, and resisting the current what each had

Chadwick Hal

Events are not affected, they develop.

Chamfort Nicolas

A thing is not necessarily true because a man dies for it.

Chandler Raymond

Ain't no right way to do a wrong thing.

Chandler Raymond

Whom the mad would destroy, first they make Gods.

Chandler Raymond

Never invest your money in anything that eats or needs repainting.

Chandler Raymond

The truth is rarely pure, and never simple.

Channing William Ellery

The race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, but that's the way to bet.

Chapelain Maurice

When you are at Rome live in the Roman style; when you are elsewhere live as they live elsewhere.

Chaplin Charlie

In case of fire, stand in the hall and shout "Fire!"

Chapman George

Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely.

Charles Chincholles

Better tried by twelve than carried by six.

Charles Darling

Getting into trouble is easy.

Charles Darling

A man gazing at the stars is proverbially at the mercy of the puddles in the road.

Charles Dickens

I was in this prematurely air conditioned supermarket and there were all these aisles and there were these bathing caps you could buy that had these kind of Fourth of July plumes on them that were red and yellow and blue and I wasn't tempted to buy

Charles Dickens

The major sin is the sin of being born.

Charles Dickens

Do not seek death; death will find you. But seek the road which makes death a fulfillment.

Charles Ives

Indeed, the first noble truth of Buddhism, usually translated as `all life is suffering,' is more accurately rendered `life is filled with a sense of pervasive unsatisfactoriness.'

Charles Schulz

The state of innocence contains the germs of all future sin.

Charlie Crazy

Before he became a hermit, Zarathud was a young Priest, and took great delight in making fools of his opponents in front of his followers. One day Zarathud took his students to a pleasant pasture and there he confronted The Sacred Chao while She


What!? Me worry?


No excellent soul is exempt from a mixture of madness.

Chavez Cesar

Catharsis is something I associate with pornography and crossword puzzles.

Chaykin Howard

Mankind is poised midway between the gods and the beasts.


Littering is dumb.

Cheever John

I always wake up at the crack of ice.

Chesterson Gilbert K.

Time is the most valuable thing a man can spend.

Chesterton G. K.

In a hierarchy every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence ... in time every post tends to be occupied by an employee who is incompetent to carry out its duties ... Work is accomplished by those employees who have not yet reached their

Chesterton G.K.

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?

Chesterton G.K.

The coast was clear.

Chesterton G.K.

Or you or I must yield up his life to Ahrimanes. I would rather it were you. I should have no hesitation in sacrificing my own life to spare yours, but we take stock next week, and it would not be fair on the company.

Chesterton G.K.

"I'm dying," he croaked. "My experiment was a success," the chemist retorted . "You can't really train a beagle," he dogmatized. "That's no beagle, it's a mongrel," she muttered. "The fire is going out," he bellowed. "Bad marksmanship," the h

Chesterton G.K.

Nothing is so firmly believed as that which we least know.

Chesterton G.K.

Solipsists of the World... you are already united.

Chesterton G.K.

The first rule of intelligent tinkering is to save all the parts.

Chevalier Maurice

Maternity pay? Now every Tom, Dick and Harry will get pregnant.

Chevins Anthony

There is nothing so easy but that it becomes difficult when you do it reluctantly.

Chichester Reverend

There's nothing worse for your business than extra Santa Clauses smoking in the men's room.

Chill The Big

Five bicycles make a volkswagen, seven make a truck.


The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it.

Chris Robert

It's hard to drive at the limit, but it's harder to know where the limits are.

Christ Jesus

Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration.


The eye is a menace to clear sight, the ear is a menace to subtle hearing, the mind is a menace to wisdom, every organ of the senses is a menace to its own capacity. ... Fuss, the god of the Southern Ocean, and Fret, the god of the Northern Ocean, h


Wait for that wisest of all counselors, Time.

Chuck Jones

Sensible and responsible women do not want to vote.


Before you ask more questions, think about whether you really want to know the answers.

Churchill W.

Faith is under the left nipple.

Churchill Winston

Time is but the stream I go a-fishing in.

Churchill Winston

The seven deadly sins ... Food, clothing, firing, rent, taxes, respectability and children. Nothing can lift those seven milestones from man's neck but money; and the spirit cannot soar until the milestones are lifted.

Churchill Winston

Don't get mad, get even.

Churchill Winston

When the blind lead the blind they will both fall over the cliff.

Churchill Winston

I never cheated an honest man, only rascals. They wanted something for nothing. I gave them nothing for something.

Churchill Winston

It is impossible to enjoy idling thoroughly unless one has plenty of work to do.

Churchill Winston

Why be a man when you can be a success?

Churchill Winston

Life is the childhood of our immortality.

Churchill Winston

Silence is the element in which great things fashion themselves.

Churchill Winston

Just because everything is different doesn't mean anything has changed.

Churchill Winston

The tree in which the sap is stagnant remains fruitless.

Churchill Winston

He who laughs has not yet heard the bad news.

Churchill Winston

Confucius say too much.

Churchill Winston

Real wealth can only increase.

Churchill Winston

The error of youth is to believe that intelligence is a substitute for experience, while the error of age is to believe experience is a substitute for intelligence.

Churchill W.

"You can't survive by sucking the juice from a wet mitten."

Churchill W.

The best executive is one who has sense enough to pick good people to do what he wants done, and self-restraint enough to keep from meddling with them while they do it.

Churchill Winston

I need another lawyer like I need another hole in my head.

Churchill Winston

Judges, as a class, display, in the matter of arranging alimony, that reckless generosity which is found only in men who are giving away someone else's cash.

Churchill Winston

A woman occasionally is quite a serviceable substitute for masturbation. It takes an abundance of imagination, to be sure.

Churchill Winston

My father was a creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, it seems, begins where yours left off.

Ciardi John

Two can Live as Cheaply as One for Half as Long.

Ciardi John

The price of success in philosophy is triviality.

Ciardi John

Things are not always what they seem.

Cicero Marcus Tullius

Man is the measure of all things.

Cicero Marcus Tullius

The faster I go, the behinder I get.

Claghorn Senator

The man-hating woman, like the cold woman, is largely imaginary. She is simply a woman who has done her best to snare a man and has failed.

Clapton Eric

"We maintain that the very foundation of our way of life is what we call free enterprise," said Cash McCall, "but when one of our citizens show enough free enterprise to pile up a little of that profit, we do our best to make him feel that he ought t

Clarence Darrow to William

We all live in a state of ambitious poverty.

Clark Alex

Believe everything you hear about the world; nothing is too impossibly bad.

Clark Blake

All of the true things I am about to tell you are shameless lies.

Clark Ramsey

In "King Henry VI, Part II," Shakespeare has Dick Butcher suggest to his fellow anti-establishment rabble-rousers, "The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers." That action may be extreme but a similar sentiment was expressed by Thomas K. Co

Clarke Arthur

The only promotion rules I can think of are that a sense of shame is to be avoided at all costs and there is never any reason for a hustler to be less cunning than more virtuous men. Oh yes ... whenever you think you've got something really great, a

Clarke Arthur C.

"Given the choice between accomplishing something and just lying around, I'd rather lie around. No contest."

Clarke Arthur C.

Practical people would be more practical if they would take a little more time for dreaming.

Cleaver Eldridge

If a shameless woman expects to be defiled and then dies of her fierce love because you do not consent, will chastity also be homicide?


Too much of everything is just enough.

Clement Hal

Where it is a duty to worship the sun it is pretty sure to be a crime to examine the laws of heat.

Cleyre Voltarine de

Let's remind ourselves that last year's fresh idea is today's cliche.

Clifton Fadiman

Prosperity makes friends, adversity tries them.

Clopton R.

What sane person could live in this world and not be crazy?

Clough Arthur

A platitude is simply a truth repeated till people get tired of hearing it.

Cocteau Jean

The more I want to get something done, the less I call it work.

Cocteau Jean

Once a word has been allowed to escape, it cannot be recalled.

Cohan George M.

As failures go, attempting to recall the past is like trying to grasp the meaning of existence. Both make one feel like a baby clutching at a basketball: one's palms keep sliding off.

Cohan George M.

Life is the living you do, Death is the living you don't do.

Cohen Mickey

A furore Normanorum libera nos, O Domine! [From the fury of the norsemen deliver us, O Lord!]

Cohen Leonard

Business will be either better or worse.

Cointment Joe

A rolling stone gathers no moss.

Coke Sir Edward

A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds.

Col Lew

What does not destroy me, makes me stronger.

Colby Frank Moore

Too many people are thinking of security instead of opportunity. They seem more afraid of life than death.

Colby F.M.

Three o'clock in the afternoon is always just a little too late or a little too early for anything you want to do.


Death is life's way of telling you you've been fired.

Colton C.C.

If I could reach, I'd never leave the house.

Comics Green Lantern

Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing at the moment.


There are no accidents whatsoever in the universe.


She cried, and the judge wiped her tears with my checkbook.


Don't go to bed with no price on your head.


Nice guys finish last.


All is well that ends well.


One good turn asketh another.


The trouble with the rat-race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.


The true way goes over a rope which is not stretched at any great height but just above the ground. It seems more designed to make people stumble than to be walked upon.


It is Mr. Mellon's credo that $200,000,000 can do no wrong. Our offense consists in doubting it.


A lot of people I know believe in positive thinking, and so do I. I believe everything positively stinks.

Conrad Joseph

If you hype something and it succeeds, you're a genius

Conrad Joseph

Men freely believe that what they wish to desire.

Coo Alistair

"I only touch base with reality on an as-needed basis!"

Cooke Alistair

It shall be unlawful for any suspicious person to be within the municipality.

Cooke Alistair

Porsche: there simply is no substitute.

Coolidge Calvin

Progress was all right. Only it went on too long.

Coolidge Calvin

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.

Coolidge Calvin

No one born with a mouth and a need is "innocent".

Coolidge Calvin

Have the courage to take your own thoughts seriously, for they will shape you.

Coolidge Calvin

The only reward of virtue is virtue.

Coolidge Calvin

Luck, that's when preparation and opportunity meet.

Coolidge Calvin

"Hey, Sam, how about a loan?" "Whattaya need?" "Oh, about $500." "Whattaya got for collateral?" "Whattaya need?" "How about an eye?"

Cooper A.

Depend on the rabbit's foot if you will, but remember, it didn't help the rabbit.

Cooper Jeff

Term, holidays, term, holidays, till we leave school, and then work, work, work till we die.

Corwin Prince of

You or I must yield up his life to Ahrimanes. I would rather it were you. I should have no hesitation in sacrificing my own life to spare yours, but we take stock next week, and it would not be fair on the company.

Costello E.

Ninety percent of everything is crap.

Costello Elvis

An older student came to Otis and said, "I have been to see a great number of teachers and I have given up a great number of pleasures. I have fasted, been celibate and stayed awake nights seeking enlightenment. I have given up everything I was aske

Costello Elvis

America, I'm putting my queer shoulder to the wheel.

Costello Elvis

Luck can't last a lifetime, unless you die young.

Coult Alan

I don't have any solution but I certainly admire the problem.

Couple The Odd

From the cradle to the coffin underwear comes first.

Cousins Norman

The life which is unexamined is not worth living.

Cousins Norman

A man who cannot seduce men cannot save them either.

Coward Noel

I remember when legal used to mean lawful, now it means some kind of loophole.

Cowboy The

If you only have a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail.

Crane Dr. Frank

Dear Mister Language Person: What is the purpose of the apostrophe? Answer: The apostrophe is used mainly in hand-lettered small business signs to alert the reader than an "S" is coming up at the end of a word, as in: WE DO NOT EXCEPT PERSONAL CHEC

Crane Frank

Save the Whales

Crane Stephen

A violent man will die a violent death.

Crane Stephen

VI: A hungry dog hunts best. A hungrier dog hunts even better. VII: Decreased business base increases overhead. So does increased business base. VIII: The most unsuccessful four years in the education of a cost-estimator is fifth grade ari

Credo The Webb Wilder

A woman who is unfaithful deserves to be shot.

Crisp Quentin

... before I could come to any conclusion it occurred to me that my speech or my silence, indeed any action of mine, would be a mere futility. What did it matter what anyone knew or ignored? What did it matter who was manager? One gets sometimes s

Crisp Quentin

(1) Avoid fried meats which angry up the blood. (2) If your stomach antagonizes you, pacify it with cool thoughts. (3) Keep the juices flowing by jangling around gently as you move. (4) Go very lightly on the vices, such as carrying on in society, as

Crisp Quentin

For thee the wonder-working earth puts forth sweet flowers.

Croll John

There is no fool to the old fool.

Cromwell Oliver

Force has no place where there is need of skill.

Crosby Norm

Sho' they got to have it against the law. Shoot, ever'body git high, they wouldn't be nobody git up and feed the chickens. Hee-hee.

Crowe Joe

Progress might have been all right once, but it's gone on too long.

Crumb R.

Live fast, die young, and leave a flat patch of fur on the highway!

Cuomo Mario

Some men are heterosexual, and some are bisexual, and some men don't think about sex at all... they become lawyers.

Curtis Charles

Think sideways!

Cynic Diogenes the

If there is a sin against life, it consists perhaps not so much in despairing of life as in hoping for another life and in eluding the implacable grandeur of this life.

caption Weber cartoon

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Charles Ives

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