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Atlee is a very modest man. And with reason.

Ca Mona

Once harm has been done, even a fool understands it.


The hater of property and of government takes care to have his warranty deed recorded, and the book written against fame and learning has the author's name on the title page.

Caen Herb

What you want, what you're hanging around in the world waiting for, is for something to occur to you.

Caen Herb

There's no justice in this world.

Caesar Augustus

No live organism can continue for long to exist sanely under conditions of absolute reality; even larks and katydids are supposed, by some, to dream. Hill House, not sane, stood by itself against its hills, holding darkness within; it had stood so fo

Caesar Augustus

I remember when legal used to mean lawful, now it means some kind of loophole.

Caesar Gaius Julius

If two people love each other, there can be no happy end to it.

Caesar Gaius Julius

Sure there are dishonest men in local government. But there are dishonest men in national government too.

Caesar Gaius Julius

Ninety percent of the politicians give the other ten percent a bad reputation.

Caesar Julius

"MacDonald has the gift on compressing the largest amount of words into the smallest amount of thoughts."

Caesar Sid

When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.

Cage John

One of my favorite jokes, a telling commentary on Jewish mothers' capacity to lay on guilt, involves the mother who gave her son two neckties on Chanuka. The boy hurried into his bedroom, ripped off the tie he was wearing, put on one of the ties his

Cage John

Try not to have a good time ... This is supposed to be educational.


Under any conditions, anywhere, whatever you are doing, there is some ordinance under which you can be booked.

Cam Kurt Vonnegut

The opposite of talking isn't listening. The opposite of talking is waiting.

Cameron Simon

Three o'clock in the afternoon is always just a little too late or a little too early for anything you want to do.

Cami Pat Calafia

At ebb tide I wrote a line upon the sand, and gave it all my heart and all my soul. At flood tide I returned to read what I had inscribed and found my ignorance upon the shore.

Camp Henry N.

In Dr. Johnson's famous dictionary patriotism is defined as the last resort of the scoundrel. With all due respect to an enlightened but inferior lexicographer I beg to submit that it is the first.


Never look a gift horse in the mouth.

Camus A.

It may be better to be a live jackal than a dead lion, but it is better still to be a live lion. And usually easier.

Camus Albert

"I am not sure what this is, but an `F' would only dignify it."

Camus Albert

An aphorism is never exactly true; it is either a half-truth or one-and-a-half truths.

Camus Albert

I reverently believe that the maker who made us all makes everything in New England, but the weather. I don't know who makes that, but I think it must be raw apprentices in the weather-clerks factory who experiment and learn how, in New England, fo

Camus Albert

Whenever I hear anyone arguing for slavery, I feel a strong impulse to see it tried on him personally.

Camus Albert

"All snakes who wish to remain in Ireland will please raise their right hands."

Capone Al

Giving money and power to governments is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.

Capone Al

He that teaches himself has a fool for a master.

Capone Al

Beware of all enterprises that require new clothes, and not rather a new wearer of clothes.

Capp Andy

An honest tale speeds best being plainly told.

Captain Ahab

I might have gone to West Point, but I was too proud to speak to a congressman.

Cardozo Benjamin

You don't have to think too hard when you talk to teachers.

Carlevale Edmund

"Why are we importing all these highbrow plays like `Amadeus'? I could have told you Mozart was a jerk for nothing."

Carlin George

I've never been hurt by anything I didn't say.


Three minutes' thought would suffice to find this out; but thought is irksome and three minutes is a long time.

Carlyle Thomas

Yevtushenko has... an ego that can crack crystal at a distance of twenty feet.

Carlyle Thomas

The worst cliques are those which consist of one man.

Carlyle Thomas

No house should ever be on any hill or on anything. It should be of the hill, belonging to it.

Carlyle Thomas

"The Army is a place where you get up early in the morning to be yelled at by people with short haircuts and tiny brains."

Carnegie Andrew

Walking on water wasn't built in a day.

Carpenter Elizabeth

Housework can kill you if done right.

Carroll Lewis

Time as he grows old teaches all things.

Carroll Lewis

If you want divine justice, die.

Carroll Lewis

No one so thoroughly appreciates the value of constructive criticism as the one who's giving it.

Carroll Lewis

The seven deadly sins ... Food, clothing, firing, rent, taxes, respectability and children. Nothing can lift those seven milestones from man's neck but money; and the spirit cannot soar until the milestones are lifted.

Carroll Lewis

Murray and Esther, a middle-aged Jewish couple, are touring Chile. Murray just got a new camera and is constantly snapping pictures. One day, without knowing it, he photographs a top-secret military installation. In an instant, armed troops surroun

Carson Johnny

If a thing's worth doing, it is worth doing badly.

Carson Johnny

Lansdale seized on the idea of using Nixon to build support for the [Vietnamese] elections ... really honest elections, this time. "Oh, sure, honest, yes, that's right," Nixon said, "so long as you win!" With that he winked, drove his elbow into La

Carson Johnny

The course of true anything never does run smooth.

Carson Johnny

I owe the public nothing.

Carter Jimmy

When the speaker and he to whom he is speaks do not understand, that is metaphysics.

Carus Titus Lucretius

There are three infallible ways of pleasing an author, and the three form a rising scale of compliment: 1, to tell him you have read one of his books; 2, to tell him you have read all of his books; 3, to ask him to let you read the manuscript of his

Carus Titus Lucretius

She often gave herself very good advice (though she very seldom followed it).

Carus Titus Lucretius

Sensible and responsible women do not want to vote.

Carus Titus Lucretius

"Give me enough medals, and I'll win any war."

Cassidy Butch

The longest part of the journey is said to be the passing of the gate.

Castro Fidel

God has intended the great to be great and the little to be little... The trade unions, under the European system, destroy liberty [...] I do not mean to say that a dollar a day is enough to support a workingman... not enough to support a man and fiv

Catalog Whole Earth

Remark of Dr. Baldwin's concerning upstarts: We don't care to eat toadstools that think they are truffles.

Catflap Filthy Rich and

Whom the mad would destroy, first they make Gods.

Catlin Wynn

Term, holidays, term, holidays, till we leave school, and then work, work, work till we die.


Since a politician never believes what he says, he is surprised when others believe him.

Cato Marcus Procius

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

Catullus Gaius Valerius

Free Speech Is The Right To Shout 'Theater' In A Crowded Fire.

Catullus Gaius Valerius

The root of all superstition is that men observe when a thing hits, but not when it misses.

Catullus Gaius Valerius

Living in LA is like not having a date on Saturday night.

Caussade De

There is hopeful symbolism in the fact that flags do not wave in a vacuum.

Cavour Camillo Di

A decade after Vietnam, we still cannot understand why "their" Salvadorans fight better than "our" Salvadorans. It is not a matter of their training or their equipment. It has to do with the quality of the society we are asking them to risk death d

Celine Louis-Ferdinand

Boston State House is the hub of the Solar System. You couldn't pry that out of a Boston man if you had the tire of all creation straightened out for a crowbar.


Mr. Salter's side of the conversation was limited to expressions of assent. When Lord Copper was right he said "Definitely, Lord Copper"; when he was wrong, "Up to a point." "Let me see, what's the name of the place I mean? Capital of Japan? Yokoh


A kind of Batman of contemporary letters.


The older I grow, the less important the comma becomes. Let the reader catch his own breath.


When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

Cervantes Miguel de

If a shameless woman expects to be defiled and then dies of her fierce love because you do not consent, will chastity also be homicide?

Cervantes Miguel de

It is ridiculous to call this an industry. This is not. This is rat eat rat, dog eat dog. I'll kill 'em, and I'm going to kill 'em before they kill me. You're talking about the American way of survival of the fittest.

Cervantes Miguel de

All the big corporations depreciate their possessions, and you can, too, provided you use them for business purposes. For example, if you subscribe to the Wall Street Journal, a business-related newspaper, you can deduct the cost of your house, beca

Cervantes Miguel de

So so is good, very good, very excellent good: and yet it is not; it is but so so.

Cervantes Miguel de

Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. My advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.

Cervantes Miguel de

IV. The time required for an object to fall twenty stories is greater than or equal to the time it takes for whoever knocked it off the ledge to spiral down twenty flights to attempt to capture it unbroken. Such an object is inevitably price

Cervantes Miguel de

Do you realize the responsibility I carry? I'm the only person standing between Nixon and the White House.

Cervantes Miguel de

The man with the best job in the country is the Vice President. All he has to do is get up every morning and say, "How's the President?"

Cervantes Miguel de

Adhere to your own act, and congratulate yourself if you have done something strange and extravagant, and broken the monotony of a decorous age.

Cervantes Miguel de

WE'RE GOING TO THROW THE MX AWAY AFTER WE BUILD IT. The MX is really [Don't tell anybody!] just a "bargaining chip" in the nuclear-arms- reduction talks with the Russians. See, we have a problem with the Russians. They look at our leaders and they

Cervantes Miguel de

History shows that the human mind, fed by constant accessions of knowledge, periodically grows too large for its theoretical coverings, and bursts them asunder to appear in new habiliments, as the feeding and growing grub, at intervals, casts its too

Ch St. John

How can you govern a nation which has 246 kinds of cheese?

Chadwick Hal

The mirror sees the man as beautiful, the mirror loves the man; another mirror sees the man as frightful and hates him; and it is always the same being who produces the impressions.

Chamfort Nicolas

If you give Congress a chance to vote on both sides of an issue, it will always do it.

Chandler Raymond

You are absolute plate-glass. I see to the very back of your mind.

Chandler Raymond

The public demands certainties; it must be told definitely and a bit raucously that this is true and that is false. But there are no certainties.

Chandler Raymond

He who attacks the fundamentals of the American broadcasting industry attacks democracy itself.

Chandler Raymond

Where you stand depends on where you sit.

Channing William Ellery

It's easier to be a liberal a long way from home.

Chapelain Maurice

Why attack God? He may be as miserable as we are.

Chaplin Charlie

You know it's Monday when you wake up and it's Tuesday.

Chapman George

We should keep the Panama Canal. After all, we stole it fair and square.

Charles Chincholles

The Poems, all three hundred of them, may be summed up in one of their phrases: "Let our thoughts be correct".

Charles Darling

My own life has been spent chronicling the rise and fall of human systems, and I am convinced that we are terribly vulnerable. ... We should be reluctant to turn back upon the frontier of this epoch. Space is indifferent to what we do; it has no fe

Charles Darling

Virtue would go far if vanity did not keep it company.

Charles Dickens

Nothing makes one so vain as being told that one is a sinner. Conscience makes egotists of us all.

Charles Dickens

You don't have to explain something you never said.

Charles Dickens

For thee the wonder-working earth puts forth sweet flowers.

Charles Ives

Patience is a minor form of despair, disguised as virtue.

Charles Schulz

You get what you pay for.

Charlie Crazy

When eating an elephant take one bite at a time.


Ain't no right way to do a wrong thing.


You see, I consider that a man's brain originally is like a little empty attic, and you have to stock it with such furniture as you choose. A fool takes in all the lumber of every sort he comes across, so that the knowledge which might be useful to

Chavez Cesar

Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.

Chaykin Howard

"Hey, Sam, how about a loan?" "Whattaya need?" "Oh, about $500." "Whattaya got for collateral?" "Whattaya need?" "How about an eye?"


Young men are fitter to invent than to judge; fitter for execution than for counsel; and fitter for new projects than for settled business. For the experience of age, in things that fall within the compass of it, directeth them; but in new things, a

Cheever John

This was the most unkindest cut of all.

Chesterson Gilbert K.

The propriety of some persons seems to consist in having improper thoughts about their neighbours.

Chesterton G. K.

Someday we'll look back on this moment and plow into a parked car.

Chesterton G.K.

Men's skin is different from women's skin. It is usually bigger, and it has more snakes tattooed on it. Also, if you examine a woman's skin very closely, inch by inch, starting at her shapely ankles, then gently tracing the slender curve of her cal

Chesterton G.K.

Relations are simply a tedious pack of people, who haven't the remotest knowledge of how to live, nor the smallest instinct about when to die.

Chesterton G.K.

The man who follows the crowd will usually get no further than the crowd. The man who walks alone is likely to find himself in places no one has ever been.

Chesterton G.K.

Let us endeavor so to live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.

Chesterton G.K.

... Our second completely true news item was sent to me by Mr. H. Boyce Connell Jr. of Atlanta, Ga., where he is involved in a law firm. One thing I like about the South is, folks there care about tradition. If somebody gets handed a name like "H.

Chesterton G.K.

He hath eaten me out of house and home.

Chesterton G.K.

A journey of a thousand miles starts under one's feet.

Chevalier Maurice

Extremism in the defense of liberty is no vice... moderation in the pursuit of justice is no virtue.

Chevins Anthony

"Given the choice between accomplishing something and just lying around, I'd rather lie around. No contest."

Chichester Reverend

... relaxed in the manner of a man who has no need to put up a front of any kind.

Chill The Big

He who slings mud generally loses ground.


The illegal we do immediately. The unconstitutional takes a little longer.

Chris Robert

"In Christianity neither morality nor religion come into contact with reality at any point."

Christ Jesus

War spares not the brave, but the cowardly.


The worst part of having success is trying to find someone who is happy for you.


You shouldn't wallow in self-pity. But it's OK to put your feet in it and swish them around a little.

Chuck Jones

In spite of everything, I still believe that people are good at heart.


... the privileged being which we call human is distinguished from other animals only by certain double-edged manifestations which in charity we can only call "inhuman."

Churchill W.

Luck can't last a lifetime, unless you die young.

Churchill Winston

"There was an interesting development in the CBS-Westmoreland trial: both sides agreed that after the trial, Andy Rooney would be allowed to talk to the jury for three minutes about little things that annoyed him during the trial."

Churchill Winston

Many a writer seems to think he is never profound except when he can't understand his own meaning.

Churchill Winston

There's no such thing as an original sin.

Churchill Winston

Consider well the proportions of things. It is better to be a young June-bug than an old bird of paradise.

Churchill Winston

In the first place, God made idiots; this was for practice; then he made school boards.

Churchill Winston

To say you got a vote of confidence would be to say you needed a vote of confidence.

Churchill Winston

I'll never get off this planet.

Churchill Winston

The marriage of Marxism and feminism has been like the marriage of husband and wife depicted in English common law: Marxism and feminism are one, and that one is marxism.

Churchill Winston

Bingo, gas station, hamburger with a side order of airplane noise, and you'll be Gary, Indiana.

Churchill Winston

Richard Nixon was the most dishonest individual I have ever met in my life. He lied to his wife, his family, his friends, his colleagues in the Congress, lifetime members of his own political party, the American people, and the world.

Churchill Winston

Modern art is what happens when painters stop looking at girls and persuade themselves that they have a better idea.

Churchill Winston

The man who sets out to carry a cat by its tail learns something that will always be useful and which never will grow dim or doubtful.

Churchill Winston

Long were the days of pain I have spent within its walls, and long were the nights of aloneness; and who can depart from his pain and his aloneness without regret?

Churchill Winston

Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it.

Churchill Winston

Talking about music is like dancing about architecture.

Churchill W.

One measure of friendship consists not in the number of things friends can discuss, but in the number of things they need no longer mention.

Churchill W.

A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.

Churchill Winston

The price of seeking to force our beliefs on others is that someday they might force their beliefs on us.

Churchill Winston

More are taken in by hope than by cunning.

Churchill Winston

I think the world is run by C students.

Churchill Winston

There's no justice in this world.

Ciardi John

I would much rather have men ask why I have no statue, than why I have one.

Ciardi John

France is a country where the money falls apart and you can't tear the toilet paper.

Ciardi John

Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable.

Cicero Marcus Tullius

The politician is someone who deals in man's problems of adjustment. To ask a politician to lead us is to ask the tail of a dog to lead the dog.

Cicero Marcus Tullius

Television has proved that people will look at anything rather than each other.

Claghorn Senator

The chief danger in life is that you may take too many precautions.

Clapton Eric

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.

Clarence Darrow to William

No group of professionals meets except to conspire against the public at large.

Clark Alex

Don't everyone thank me at once!

Clark Blake

For if there is a sin against life, it consists perhaps not so much in despairing of life as in hoping for another life and in eluding the implacable grandeur of this life.

Clark Ramsey

All of us should treasure his Oriental wisdom and his preaching of a Zen-like detachment, as exemplified by his constant reminder to clerks, tellers, or others who grew excited by his presence in their banks: "Just lie down on the floor and keep calm

Clarke Arthur

Sometimes I get the feeling that I went to a party on Perry Lane in 1962, and the party spilled out of the house, and came down the street, and covered the world.

Clarke Arthur C.

A rolling stone gathers no moss.

Clarke Arthur C.

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.

Cleaver Eldridge

They use different words for things in America. For instance they say elevator and we say lift. They say drapes and we say curtains. They say president and we say brain damaged git.


The closest to perfection a person ever comes is when he fills out a job application form.

Clement Hal

Conscience doth make cowards of us all.

Cleyre Voltarine de

There is an old time toast which is golden for its beauty. "When you ascend the hill of prosperity may you not meet a friend."

Clifton Fadiman

The trouble with the rat-race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.

Clopton R.

I used to be a rebel in my youth. This cause... that cause... (chuckle) I backed 'em ALL! But I learned. Rebellion is simply a device used by the immature to hide from his own problems. So I lost interest in politics. Now when I feel aroused by

Clough Arthur

Mate, this parrot wouldn't VOOM if you put four million volts through it!

Cocteau Jean

There's such a thing as too much point on a pencil.

Cocteau Jean

All diplomacy is a continuation of war by other means.

Cohan George M.

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.

Cohan George M.

Every cloud engenders not a storm.

Cohen Mickey

Being a miner, as soon as you're too old and tired and sick and stupid to do your job properly, you have to go, where the very opposite applies with the judges.

Cohen Leonard

Don't take a nickel, just hand them your business card.

Cointment Joe

He who fears the unknown may one day flee from his own backside.

Coke Sir Edward

There's no such thing as a free lunch.

Col Lew

Diplomacy is the art of letting the other party have things your way.

Colby Frank Moore

XI: If the Earth could be made to rotate twice as fast, managers would get twice as much done. If the Earth could be made to rotate twenty times as fast, everyone else would get twice as much done since all the managers would fly off. XII: I

Colby F.M.

Why does a hearse horse snicker, hauling a lawyer away?


You are never given a wish without also being given the power to make it true. You may have to work for it, however.

Colton C.C.

The conservation movement is a breeding ground of Communists and other subversives. We intend to clean them out, even if it means rounding up every bird watcher in the country.

Comics Green Lantern

If it doesn't smell yet, it's pretty fresh.


When, in 1964, New Hampshire Republican Senator Norris Cotton announced his support of Bary Goldwater in his state's primary election, he was questioned as to whether this indicated a change of his hitherto "liberal" political views. "Well," expla


Rome was not built in one day.


What sane person could live in this world and not be crazy?


The great question that has never been answered and which I have not yet been able to answer despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul is: WHAT DOES A WOMAN WANT?


Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.


Intellect annuls Fate. So far as a man thinks, he is free.


Lay off the muses, it's a very tough dollar.


Education is learning what you didn't even know you didn't know.


Some men are heterosexual, and some are bisexual, and some men don't think about sex at all... they become lawyers.


"Remember, if it's being done correctly, here or abroad, it's ___not the U.S. Army doing it!"

Conrad Joseph

Depend on the rabbit's foot if you will, but remember, it didn't help the rabbit.

Conrad Joseph

'Scuse me, while I kiss the sky!

Coo Alistair

Nice boy, but about as sharp as a sack of wet mice.

Cooke Alistair

A drama critic is a person who surprises a playwright by informing him what he meant.

Cooke Alistair

A man is known by the company he organizes.

Coolidge Calvin

It has been said [by Anatole France], "it is not by amusing oneself that one learns," and, in reply: "it is *____only* by amusing oneself that one can learn."

Coolidge Calvin

It is easier to be a "humanitarian" than to render your own country its proper due; it is easier to be a "patriot" than to make your community a better place to live in; it is easier to be a "civic leader" than to treat your own family with loving un

Coolidge Calvin

Living in New York City gives people real incentives to want things that nobody else wants.

Coolidge Calvin

If they were so inclined, they could impeach him because they don't like his necktie.

Coolidge Calvin

Its name is Public Opinion. It is held in reverence. It settles everything. Some think it is the voice of God.

Coolidge Calvin

Sho' they got to have it against the law. Shoot, ever'body git high, they wouldn't be nobody git up and feed the chickens. Hee-hee.

Coolidge Calvin

The only way I can lose this election is if I'm caught in bed with a dead girl or a live boy.

Cooper A.

Home is where the hurt is.

Cooper Jeff

The dirty work at political conventions is almost always done in the grim hours between midnight and dawn. Hangmen and politicians work best when the human spirit is at its lowest ebb.

Corwin Prince of

Democracy is the recurrent suspicion that more than half of the people are right more than half of the time.

Costello E.

There is no act of treachery or mean-ness of which a political party is not capable; for in politics there is no honour.

Costello Elvis

The Least Successful Equal Pay Advertisement In 1976 the European Economic Community pointed out to the Irish Government that it had not yet implemented the agreed sex equality legislation. The Dublin Government immediately advertised for an equal

Costello Elvis

One of your most ancient writers, a historian named Herodotus, tells of a thief who was to be executed. As he was taken away he made a bargain with the king: in one year he would teach the king's favorite horse to sing hymns. The other prisoners wa

Costello Elvis

"Hi, I'm Preston A. Mantis, president of Consumers Retail Law Outlet. As you can see by my suit and the fact that I have all these books of equal height on the shelves behind me, I am a trained legal attorney. Do you have a car or a job? Do you ever

Coult Alan

"Well," Brahma said, "even after ten thousand explanations, a fool is no wiser, but an intelligent man requires only two thousand five hundred."

Couple The Odd

Of all men's miseries, the bitterest is this: to know so much and have control over nothing.

Cousins Norman

"Consequences, Schmonsequences, as long as I'm rich."

Cousins Norman

Once, I read that a man be never stronger than when he truly realizes how weak he is.

Coward Noel

When you say that you agree to a thing in principle, you mean that you have not the slightest intention of carrying it out in practice.

Cowboy The

Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names the streets after them.

Crane Dr. Frank

Music in the soul can be heard by the universe.

Crane Frank

Know what I hate most? Rhetorical questions.

Crane Stephen

Don't get the idea that I'm one of those goddamn radicals. Don't get the idea that I'm knocking the American system.

Crane Stephen

You won't skid if you stay in a rut.

Credo The Webb Wilder

The louder he talked of his honour, the faster we counted our spoons.

Crisp Quentin

Chance is perhaps the work of God when He did not want to sign.

Crisp Quentin

Let's say your wedding ring falls into your toaster, and when you stick your hand in to retrieve it, you suffer Pain and Suffering as well as Mental Anguish. You would sue: * The toaster manufacturer, for failure to include, in the instructions

Crisp Quentin

I do not know whether I was then a man dreaming I was a butterfly, or whether I am now a butterfly dreaming I am a man.

Croll John

The college graduate is presented with a sheepskin to cover his intellectual nakedness.

Cromwell Oliver

The rule is, jam to-morrow and jam yesterday, but never jam today.

Crosby Norm

If I were a grave-digger or even a hangman, there are some people I could work for with a great deal of enjoyment.

Crowe Joe

The best executive is one who has sense enough to pick good people to do what he wants done, and self-restraint enough to keep from meddling with them while they do it.

Crumb R.

The 'A' is for content, the 'minus' is for not typing it. Don't ever do this to my eyes again.

Cuomo Mario

Producers seem to be so prejudiced against actors who've had no training. And there's no reason for it. So what if I didn't attend the Royal Academy for twelve years? I'm still a professional trying to be the best actress I can. Why doesn't anyone

Curtis Charles

Don't steal; thou'lt never thus compete successfully in business. Cheat.

Cynic Diogenes the

A diplomat is a person who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

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