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Ca Mona


Life would be tolerable but for its amusements.

Cadmus


If a fool persists in his folly he shall become wise.

Caen Herb


Bullwinkle: You just leave that to my pal. He's the brains of the outfit. General: What does that make YOU? Bullwinkle: What else? An executive.

Caen Herb


You can't expect a boy to be vicious till he's been to a good school.

Caesar Augustus


Writing about music is like dancing about architecture.

Caesar Augustus


Here's to women. Would that we could fall into her arms without falling into her hands.

Caesar Gaius Julius


Education is learning what you didn't even know you didn't know.

Caesar Gaius Julius


One hundred women are not worth a single testicle.

Caesar Gaius Julius


The superior man understands what is right; the inferior man understands what will sell.

Caesar Julius


"Rembrandt's first name was Beauregard, which is why he never used it."

Caesar Sid


According to my best recollection, I don't remember.

Cage John


Have the courage to take your own thoughts seriously, for they will shape you.

Cage John


The race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, but that's the way to bet.

Callimachus


Better late than never.

Cam Kurt Vonnegut


The first Rotarian was the first man to call John the Baptist "Jack."

Cameron Simon


With women, I've got a long bamboo pole with a leather loop on the end of it. I slip the loop around their necks so they can't get away or come too close. Like catching snakes.

Cami Pat Calafia


There is more to life than increasing its speed.

Camp Henry N.


"If once a man indulges himself in murder, very soon he comes to think little of robbing; and from robbing he next comes to drinking and Sabbath-breaking, and from that to incivility and procrastination."

Camus


It is your concern when your neighbor's wall is on fire.

Camus A.


Sho' they got to have it against the law. Shoot, ever'body git high, they wouldn't be nobody git up and feed the chickens. Hee-hee.

Camus Albert


For fools rush in where angels fear to tread.

Camus Albert


A lot of people I know believe in positive thinking, and so do I. I believe everything positively stinks.

Camus Albert


The root of all superstition is that men observe when a thing hits, but not when it misses.

Camus Albert


The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that, you've got it made.

Camus Albert


It is Mr. Mellon's credo that $200,000,000 can do no wrong. Our offense consists in doubting it.

Capone Al


There is no comfort without pain; thus we define salvation through suffering.

Capone Al


Every young man should have a hobby: learning how to handle money is the best one.

Capone Al


Lots of folks confuse bad management with destiny.

Capp Andy


Paradise is exactly like where you are right now ... only much, much better.

Captain Ahab


The optimist thinks that this is the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist knows it.

Cardozo Benjamin


Coincidences are spiritual puns.

Carlevale Edmund


"We demand rigidly defined areas of doubt and uncertainty!"

Carlin George


We're fantastically incredibly sorry for all these extremely unreasonable things we did. I can only plead that my simple, barely-sentient friend and myself are underprivileged, deprived and also college students.

Carlyle


We're all in this alone.

Carlyle Thomas


The Law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich, as well as the poor, to sleep under the bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread.

Carlyle Thomas


It was a female that drove me to drink and I didn't even have the kindness to thank her.

Carlyle Thomas


If a man stay away from his wife for seven years, the law presumes the separation to have killed him; yet according to our daily experience, it might well prolong his life.

Carlyle Thomas


'Scuse me, while I kiss the sky!

Carnegie Andrew


Well begun is half done.

Carpenter Elizabeth


If a thing's worth having, it's worth cheating for.

Carroll Lewis


Imagine what we can imagine!

Carroll Lewis


Would ye both eat your cake and have your cake?

Carroll Lewis


The time spent on any item of the agenda [of a finance committee] will be in inverse proportion to the sum involved.

Carroll Lewis


If you hype something and it succeeds, you're a genius

Carroll Lewis


The term "fire" brings up visions of violence and mayhem and the ugly scene of shooting employees who make mistakes. We will now refer to this process as "deleting" an employee (much as a file is deleted from a disk). The employee is simply there o

Carson Johnny


To teach is to learn twice.

Carson Johnny


Mankind is poised midway between the gods and the beasts.

Carson Johnny


No poet or novelist wishes he was the only one who ever lived, but most of them wish they were the only one alive, and quite a number fondly believe their wish has been granted.

Carson Johnny


It doesn't matter whether you win or lose

Carter Jimmy


A woman employs sincerity only when every other form of deception has failed.

Carus Titus Lucretius


Receiving a million dollars tax free will make you feel better than being flat broke and having a stomach ache.

Carus Titus Lucretius


There's nothing remarkable about it. All one has to do is hit the right keys at the right time and the instrument plays itself.

Carus Titus Lucretius


The price one pays for pursuing any profession, or calling, is an intimate knowledge of its ugly side.

Carus Titus Lucretius


What one believes to be true either is true or becomes true.

Cassidy Butch


If little else, the brain is an educational toy.

Castro Fidel


Happiness isn't something you experience; it's something you remember.

Catalog Whole Earth


If you would know the value of money, go try to borrow some.

Catflap Filthy Rich and


Depend on the rabbit's foot if you will, but remember, it didn't help the rabbit.

Catlin Wynn


Wisdom is knowing what to do with what you know.

Cato


To every Ph.D. there is an equal and opposite Ph.D.

Cato Marcus Procius


Those who do things in a noble spirit of self-sacrifice are to be avoided at all costs.

Catullus Gaius Valerius


"I am not sure what this is, but an `F' would only dignify it."

Catullus Gaius Valerius


Unprovided with original learning, unformed in the habits of thinking, unskilled in the arts of composition, I resolved to write a book.

Catullus Gaius Valerius


If we spoke a different language, we would perceive a somewhat different world.

Caussade De


Anything is possible on paper.

Cavour Camillo Di


Instead of loving your enemies, treat your friends a little better.

Celine Louis-Ferdinand


The typewriting machine, when played with expression, is no more annoying than the piano when played by a sister or near relation.

Cervantes


"She said, `I know you ... you cannot sing'. I said, `That's nothing, you should hear me play piano.'"

Cervantes


If a jury in a criminal trial stays out for more than twenty-four hours, it is certain to vote acquittal, save in those instances where it votes guilty.

Cervantes


Let's say your wedding ring falls into your toaster, and when you stick your hand in to retrieve it, you suffer Pain and Suffering as well as Mental Anguish. You would sue: * The toaster manufacturer, for failure to include, in the instructions

Cervantes


Education and religion are two things not regulated by supply and demand. The less of either the people have, the less they want.

Cervantes Miguel de


If there were a school for, say, sheet metal workers, that after three years left its graduates as unprepared for their careers as does law school, it would be closed down in a minute, and no doubt by lawyers.

Cervantes Miguel de


I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.

Cervantes Miguel de


The farther you go, the less you know.

Cervantes Miguel de


If I cannot bend Heaven, I shall move Hell.

Cervantes Miguel de


IV. The time required for an object to fall twenty stories is greater than or equal to the time it takes for whoever knocked it off the ledge to spiral down twenty flights to attempt to capture it unbroken. Such an object is inevitably price

Cervantes Miguel de


A platitude is simply a truth repeated till people get tired of hearing it.

Cervantes Miguel de


Examinations are formidable even to the best prepared, for even the greatest fool may ask more the the wisest man can answer.

Cervantes Miguel de


Plots are like girdles. Hidden, they hold your interest; revealed, they're of no interest except to fetishists. Like girdles, they attempt to contain an uncontainable experience.

Cervantes Miguel de


There is nothing so easy but that it becomes difficult when you do it reluctantly.

Cervantes Miguel de


Who's scruffy-looking?

Cervantes Miguel de


We're only in it for the volume.

Ch St. John


One man's Mede is another man's Persian.

Chadwick Hal


Like ya know? Rock 'N Roll is an esoteric language that unlocks the creativity chambers in people's brains, and like totally activates their essential hipness, which of course is like totally necessary for saving the earth, like because the first th

Chamfort Nicolas


Snakes. Why did it have to be snakes?

Chandler Raymond


She cried, and the judge wiped her tears with my checkbook.

Chandler Raymond


Trifles make perfection, and perfection is no trifle.

Chandler Raymond


The only thing that experience teaches us is that experience teaches us nothing.

Chandler Raymond


A wise person makes his own decisions, a weak one obeys public opinion.

Channing William Ellery


"I don't mind going nowhere as long as it's an interesting path."

Chapelain Maurice


It has long been noticed that juries are pitiless for robbery and full of indulgence for infanticide. A question of interest, my dear Sir! The jury is afraid of being robbed and has passed the age when it could be a victim of infanticide.

Chaplin Charlie


It is better to have loved and lost

Chapman George


Consider the postage stamp: its usefulness consists in the ability to stick to one thing till it gets there.

Charles Chincholles


I have a simple philosophy: Fill what's empty. Empty what's full. Scratch where it itches.

Charles Darling


What does not destroy me, makes me stronger.

Charles Darling


"Well, it's garish, ugly, and derelicts have used it for a toilet. The rides are dilapidated to the point of being lethal, and could easily maim or kill innocent little children." "Oh, so you don't like it?" "Don't like it? I'm CRAZY for it."

Charles Dickens


The great question that has never been answered and which I have not yet been able to answer despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul is: WHAT DOES A WOMAN WANT?

Charles Dickens


There's no such thing as a free lunch.

Charles Dickens


The past always looks better than it was. It's only pleasant because it isn't here.

Charles Ives


There's no justice in this world.

Charles Schulz


Out of sight is out of mind.

Charlie Crazy


As Gen. de Gaulle occassionally acknowledges America to be the daughter of Europe, so I am pleased to come to Yale, the daughter of Harvard.

Charlot


Never take a resume seriously. Resumes only make money for the people who write the resumes. No resume ever tells an employer how many times a job applicant has had the clap. Why, indeed, would anyone hire a person based on a resume written by a

Chateaubriand


The only certainty is that nothing is certain.

Chavez Cesar


The only happiness lies in reason; all the rest of the world is dismal. The highest reason, however, I see in the work of the artist, and he may experience it as such. Happiness lies in the swiftness of feeling and thinking: all the rest of the worl

Chaykin Howard


There are three rules for writing a novel. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are.

Chazal


Anyone can hold the helm when the sea is calm.

Cheever John


The Worst Jury A murder trial at Manitoba in February 1978 was well advanced, when one juror revealed that he was completely deaf and did not have the remotest clue what was happening. The judge, Mr. Justice Solomon, asked him if he had heard any

Chesterson Gilbert K.


A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.

Chesterton G. K.


If you want divine justice, die.

Chesterton G.K.


"The jig's up, Elman." "Which jig?"

Chesterton G.K.


I just need enough to tide me over until I need more.

Chesterton G.K.


No one born with a mouth and a need is "innocent".

Chesterton G.K.


Naked children have never played in _o_u_r fountains, and I.M. Pei will never be happy on Route 66.

Chesterton G.K.


Column 1 Column 2 Column 3 0. integrated 0. management 0. options 1. total 1. organizational 1. flexibility 2. systematized 2. monitored 2. capability 3. parallel 3. reciprocal 3. mobility 4. functional 4. digital 4. programming 5. re

Chesterton G.K.


Five bicycles make a volkswagen, seven make a truck.

Chesterton G.K.


The truth of a thing is the feel of it, not the think of it.

Chevalier Maurice


Plumbing is one of the easier of do-it-yourself activities, requiring only a few simple tools and a willingness to stick your arm into a clogged toilet. In fact, you can solve many home plumbing problems, such as annoying faucet drip, merely by tur

Chevins Anthony


It is not doing the thing we like to do, but liking the thing we have to do, that makes life blessed.

Chichester Reverend


I don't have any use for bodyguards, but I do have a specific use for two highly trained certified public accountants.

Chill The Big


Sho' they got to have it against the law. Shoot, ever'body git high, they wouldn't be nobody git up and feed the chickens. Hee-hee.

Chilo


The confusion of a staff member is measured by the length of his memos.

Chris Robert


A little bit of rape is good for a man's soul.

Christ Jesus


The Worst Jury A murder trial at Manitoba in February 1978 was well advanced, when one juror revealed that he was completely deaf and did not have the remotest clue what was happening. The judge, Mr. Justice Solomon, asked him if he had heard any

Chuang-tzu


Two wrongs are only the beginning.

Chuang-tzu


Plastic... Aluminum... These are the inheritors of the Universe! Flesh and Blood have had their day... and that day is past!

Chuck Jones


An idea is an eye given by God for the seeing of God. Some of these eyes we cannot bear to look out of, we blind them as quickly as possible.

Churchill


Hotels are tired of getting ripped off. I checked into a hotel and they had towels from my house.

Churchill W.


I'm going to raise an issue and stick it in your ear.

Churchill Winston


Princeton's taste is sweet like a strawberry tart. Harvard's is a subtle taste, like whiskey, coffee, or tobacco. It may even be a bad habit, for all I know.

Churchill Winston


... [concerning quotation marks] even if we *___did* quote anybody in this business, it probably would be gibberish.

Churchill Winston


For every bloke who makes his mark, there's half a dozen waiting to rub it out.

Churchill Winston


Mike: "The Fourth Dimension is a shambles?" Bernie: "Nobody ever empties the ashtrays. People are SO inconsiderate."

Churchill Winston


The lawgiver, of all beings, most owes the law allegiance. He of all men should behave as though the law compelled him. But it is the universal weakness of mankind that what we are given to administer we presently imagine we own.

Churchill Winston


To lead people, you must follow behind.

Churchill Winston


The early bird who catches the worm works for someone who comes in late and owns the worm farm.

Churchill Winston


No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.

Churchill Winston


When the blind lead the blind they will both fall over the cliff.

Churchill Winston


I didn't believe in reincarnation in any of my other lives. I don't see why I should have to believe in it in this one.

Churchill Winston


You knew the job was dangerous when you took it, Fred.

Churchill Winston


We have nowhere else to go... this is all we have.

Churchill Winston


We rarely find anyone who can say he has lived a happy life, and who, content with his life, can retire from the world like a satisfied guest.

Churchill Winston


Don't go to bed with no price on your head.

Churchill Winston


That's no moon...

Churchill W.


One of your most ancient writers, a historian named Herodotus, tells of a thief who was to be executed. As he was taken away he made a bargain with the king: in one year he would teach the king's favorite horse to sing hymns. The other prisoners wa

Churchill W.


The only promotion rules I can think of are that a sense of shame is to be avoided at all costs and there is never any reason for a hustler to be less cunning than more virtuous men. Oh yes ... whenever you think you've got something really great, a

Churchill Winston


If the ends don't justify the means, then what does?

Churchill Winston


A thing is not necessarily true because a man dies for it.

Churchill Winston


Sometimes a man who deserves to be looked down upon because he is a fool is despised only because he is a lawyer.

Churchill Winston


Lay off the muses, it's a very tough dollar.

Ciardi John


Perfection is reached, not when there is no longer anything to add, but when there is no longer anything to take away.

Ciardi John


The final delusion is the belief that one has lost all delusions.

Ciardi John


No good deed goes unpunished.

Cicero Marcus Tullius


Waste not fresh tears over old griefs.

Cicero Marcus Tullius


There is a secret person undamaged within every individual.

Claghorn Senator


As well look for a needle in a bottle of hay.

Clapton Eric


Time as he grows old teaches all things.

Clarence Darrow to William


If ever the pleasure of one has to be bought by the pain of the other, there better be no trade. A trade by which one gains and the other loses is a fraud.

Clark Alex


My theology, briefly, is that the universe was dictated but not signed.

Clark Blake


She cried, and the judge wiped her tears with my checkbook.

Clark Ramsey


Nothing endures but change.

Clarke Arthur


If the English language made any sense, lackadaisical would have something to do with a shortage of flowers.

Clarke Arthur C.


Prediction is very difficult, especially of the future.

Clarke Arthur C.


The sky is blue so we know where to stop mowing.

Cleaver Eldridge


Ten years of rejection slips is nature's way of telling you to stop writing.

Clemenceau


By perseverance the snail reached the Ark.

Clement Hal


God made everything out of nothing, but the nothingness shows through.

Cleyre Voltarine de


We are not a loved organization, but we are a respected one.

Clifton Fadiman


Generally speaking, the Way of the warrior is resolute acceptance of death.

Clopton R.


Satire is tragedy plus time.

Clough Arthur


The 'A' is for content, the 'minus' is for not typing it. Don't ever do this to my eyes again.

Cocteau Jean


Mental power tended to corrupt, and absolute intelligence tended to corrupt absolutely, until the victim eschewed violence entirely in favor of smart solutions to stupid problems.

Cocteau Jean


In "King Henry VI, Part II," Shakespeare has Dick Butcher suggest to his fellow anti-establishment rabble-rousers, "The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers." That action may be extreme but a similar sentiment was expressed by Thomas K. Co

Cohan George M.


Necessity has no law.

Cohan George M.


In spite of everything, I still believe that people are good at heart.

Cohen Mickey


Feminists say 60 percent of the country's wealth is in the hands of women. They're letting men hold the other 40 percent because their handbags are full.

Cohen Leonard


I was in this prematurely air conditioned supermarket and there were all these aisles and there were these bathing caps you could buy that had these kind of Fourth of July plumes on them that were red and yellow and blue and I wasn't tempted to buy

Cointment Joe


I've got all the money I'll ever need if I die by 4 o'clock.

Coke Sir Edward


How do you explain school to a higher intelligence?

Col Lew


"We maintain that the very foundation of our way of life is what we call free enterprise," said Cash McCall, "but when one of our citizens show enough free enterprise to pile up a little of that profit, we do our best to make him feel that he ought t

Colby Frank Moore


The only "ism" Hollywood believes in is plagiarism.

Colby F.M.


I hate quotations.

Colton


Whom the mad would destroy, first they make Gods.

Colton C.C.


When the ax entered the forest, the trees said, "The handle is one of us!"

Comics Green Lantern


Maternity pay? Now every Tom, Dick and Harry will get pregnant.

Confucius


When in doubt, have a man come through the door with a gun in his hand.

Confucius


One good turn deserves another.

Confucius


What!? Me worry?

Confucius


The lawgiver, of all beings, most owes the law allegiance. He of all men should behave as though the law compelled him. But it is the universal weakness of mankind that what we are given to administer we presently imagine we own.

Confucius


Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it.

Confucius


It's from Casablanca. I've been waiting all my life to use that line.

Confucius


Before he became a hermit, Zarathud was a young Priest, and took great delight in making fools of his opponents in front of his followers. One day Zarathud took his students to a pleasant pasture and there he confronted The Sacred Chao while She

Confucius


Of all possible committee reactions to any given agenda item, the reaction that will occur is the one which will liberate the greatest amount of hot air.

Confucius


A man is known by the company he organizes.

Conrad


Whatever occurs from love is always beyond good and evil.

Conrad Joseph


The Poems, all three hundred of them, may be summed up in one of their phrases: "Let our thoughts be correct".

Conrad Joseph


A violent man will die a violent death.

Coo Alistair


Nothing is so firmly believed as that which we least know.

Cooke Alistair


God was satisfied with his own work, and that is fatal.

Cooke Alistair


If we could sell our experiences for what they cost us, we would all be millionaires.

Coolidge Calvin


Look before you leap.

Coolidge Calvin


Judges, as a class, display, in the matter of arranging alimony, that reckless generosity which is found only in men who are giving away someone else's cash.

Coolidge Calvin


Men will fuck mud.

Coolidge Calvin


If a man stay away from his wife for seven years, the law presumes the separation to have killed him; yet according to our daily experience, it might well prolong his life.

Coolidge Calvin


XXVI: If a sufficient number of management layers are superimposed on each other, it can be assured that disaster is not left to chance. XXVII: Rank does not intimidate hardware. Neither does the lack of rank. XXVIII: It is better to be the r

Coolidge Calvin


Eighteen goddess-like daughters are not equal to one son with a hump.

Coolidge Calvin


You must be the change you wish to see in the world.

Cooper A.


One picture is worth more than ten thousand words.

Cooper Jeff


The two most beautiful words in the English language are "Cheque Enclosed."

Corwin Prince of


"Hi, I'm Preston A. Mantis, president of Consumers Retail Law Outlet. As you can see by my suit and the fact that I have all these books of equal height on the shelves behind me, I am a trained legal attorney. Do you have a car or a job? Do you ever

Costello E.


Use what talents you possess: the woods would be very silent if no birds sang there except those that sang best.

Costello Elvis


Knowledge is power.

Costello Elvis


Beware of all enterprises that require new clothes, and not rather a new wearer of clothes.

Costello Elvis


If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.

Coult Alan


Women are nothing but machines for producing children.

Couple The Odd


Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known.

Cousins Norman


Take what you can use and let the rest go by.

Cousins Norman


If there is no wind, row.

Coward Noel


Competence, like truth, beauty, and contact lenses, is in the eye of the beholder.

Cowboy The


Television has proved that people will look at anything rather than each other.

Crane Dr. Frank


Don't get mad, get even.

Crane Frank


Remember that there is an outside world to see and enjoy.

Crane Stephen


It is ridiculous to call this an industry. This is not. This is rat eat rat, dog eat dog. I'll kill 'em, and I'm going to kill 'em before they kill me. You're talking about the American way of survival of the fittest.

Crane Stephen


Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet?

Credo The Webb Wilder


Let's say your wedding ring falls into your toaster, and when you stick your hand in to retrieve it, you suffer Pain and Suffering as well as Mental Anguish. You would sue: * The toaster manufacturer, for failure to include, in the instructions

Crisp Quentin


When in doubt, mumble; when in trouble, delegate; when in charge, ponder.

Crisp Quentin


The man-hating woman, like the cold woman, is largely imaginary. She is simply a woman who has done her best to snare a man and has failed.

Crisp Quentin


A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.

Croll John


Indeed, the first noble truth of Buddhism, usually translated as `all life is suffering,' is more accurately rendered `life is filled with a sense of pervasive unsatisfactoriness.'

Cromwell Oliver


For certain people, after fifty, litigation takes the place of sex.

Crosby Norm


She cried, and the judge wiped her tears with my checkbook.

Crowe Joe


If we see the light at the end of the tunnel, it's the light of an oncoming train.

Crumb R.


Education is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember from time to time that nothing that is worth knowing can be taught.

Cuomo Mario


I know on which side my bread is buttered.

Curtis Charles


Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.

Cynic Diogenes the


The intelligence of any discussion diminishes with the square of the number of participants.

caption Weber cartoon





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Dare to be naive.
Fuller R. Buckminster

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