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God made everything out of nothing, but the nothingness shows through.

Ca Mona

Dear Mister Language Person: What is the purpose of the apostrophe? Answer: The apostrophe is used mainly in hand-lettered small business signs to alert the reader than an "S" is coming up at the end of a word, as in: WE DO NOT EXCEPT PERSONAL CHEC


The sky is blue so we know where to stop mowing.

Caen Herb

Look before you leap.

Caen Herb

There is nothing new except what has been forgotten.

Caesar Augustus

Caesar Augustus

Mankind is poised midway between the gods and the beasts.

Caesar Gaius Julius

The philosopher's treatment of a question is like the treatment of an illness.

Caesar Gaius Julius

Prosperity makes friends, adversity tries them.

Caesar Gaius Julius

The future not being born, my friend, we will abstain from baptizing it.

Caesar Julius

There's nothing worse for your business than extra Santa Clauses smoking in the men's room.

Caesar Sid

The first rule of all intelligent tinkering is to keep all the parts.

Cage John

Anything that is worth doing has been done frequently. Things hitherto undone should be given, I suspect, a wide berth.

Cage John

Well, the handwriting is on the floor.


Executive ability is deciding quickly and getting somebody else to do the work.

Cam Kurt Vonnegut

He who laughs has not yet heard the bad news.

Cameron Simon

The possession of a book becomes a substitute for reading it.

Cami Pat Calafia

I hate dying.

Camp Henry N.

None love the bearer of bad news.


The term "fire" brings up visions of violence and mayhem and the ugly scene of shooting employees who make mistakes. We will now refer to this process as "deleting" an employee (much as a file is deleted from a disk). The employee is simply there o

Camus A.

Seize the day, put no trust in the morrow!

Camus Albert

The confusion of a staff member is measured by the length of his memos.

Camus Albert

Any philosophy that can be put "in a nutshell" belongs there.

Camus Albert

Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig.

Camus Albert

Dying is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down.

Camus Albert

Once a word has been allowed to escape, it cannot be recalled.

Capone Al

Never appeal to a man's "better nature." He may not have one. Invoking his self-interest gives you more leverage.

Capone Al

Turn the other cheek.

Capone Al

I have a simple philosophy: Fill what's empty. Empty what's full. Scratch where it itches.

Capp Andy

Ninety percent of the time things turn out worse than you thought they would. The other ten percent of the time you had no right to expect that much.

Captain Ahab

When the English language gets in my way, I walk over it.

Cardozo Benjamin

It is the quality rather than the quantity that matters.

Carlevale Edmund

Those who do things in a noble spirit of self-sacrifice are to be avoided at all costs.

Carlin George

"Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away".


The pollution's at that awkward stage. Too thick to navigate and too thin to cultivate.

Carlyle Thomas

Honesty's the best policy.

Carlyle Thomas

The man-hating woman, like the cold woman, is largely imaginary. She is simply a woman who has done her best to snare a man and has failed.

Carlyle Thomas

XXVI: If a sufficient number of management layers are superimposed on each other, it can be assured that disaster is not left to chance. XXVII: Rank does not intimidate hardware. Neither does the lack of rank. XXVIII: It is better to be the r

Carlyle Thomas

The road to Hades is easy to travel.

Carnegie Andrew

Wait for that wisest of all counselors, Time.

Carpenter Elizabeth

The root of all superstition is that men observe when a thing hits, but not when it misses.

Carroll Lewis

All men know the utility of useful things; but they do not know the utility of futility.

Carroll Lewis

If I had a formula for bypassing trouble, I would not pass it around. Trouble creates a capacity to handle it. I don't say embrace trouble; that's as bad as treating it as an enemy. But I do say meet it as a friend, for you'll see a lot of it and y

Carroll Lewis

"You mean, if you allow the master to be uncivil, to treat you any old way he likes, and to insult your dignity, then he may deem you fit to hear his view of things?" "Quite the contrary. You must defend your integrity, assuming you have integrit

Carroll Lewis

Anyone can hold the helm when the sea is calm.

Carroll Lewis

A businessman is a hybrid of a dancer and a calculator.

Carson Johnny

It is better to have loved and lost

Carson Johnny

Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it.

Carson Johnny

Well, he thought, since neither Aristotelian Logic nor the disciplines of Science seemed to offer much hope, it's time to go beyond them... Drawing a few deep even breaths, he entered a mental state practiced only by Masters of the Universal Way of

Carson Johnny

A man gazing at the stars is proverbially at the mercy of the puddles in the road.

Carter Jimmy

Consider the postage stamp: its usefulness consists in the ability to stick to one thing till it gets there.

Carus Titus Lucretius

When the speaker and he to whom he is speaks do not understand, that is metaphysics.

Carus Titus Lucretius

Many hands make light work.

Carus Titus Lucretius

The greatest griefs are those we cause ourselves.

Carus Titus Lucretius

In every hierarchy the cream rises until it sours.

Cassidy Butch

Nothing succeeds like success.

Castro Fidel

There is no fool to the old fool.

Catalog Whole Earth

Trust in Allah, but tie your camel.

Catflap Filthy Rich and

In the highest society, as well as in the lowest, woman is merely an instrument of pleasure.

Catlin Wynn

You or I must yield up his life to Ahrimanes. I would rather it were you. I should have no hesitation in sacrificing my own life to spare yours, but we take stock next week, and it would not be fair on the company.


Some women should be beaten regularly, like gongs.

Cato Marcus Procius

What does not destroy me, makes me stronger.

Catullus Gaius Valerius

A commune is where people join together to share their lack of wealth.

Catullus Gaius Valerius

When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.

Catullus Gaius Valerius

"Life is too important to take seriously."

Caussade De

I just need enough to tide me over until I need more.

Cavour Camillo Di

There's no such thing as an original sin.

Celine Louis-Ferdinand

God help those who do not help themselves.


Think lucky. If you fall in a pond, check your pockets for fish.


A woman who is guided by the head and not by the heart is a social pestilence: she has all the defects of the passionate and affectionate woman, with none of her compensations; she is without pity, without love, without virtue, without sex.


There is a natural hootchy-kootchy to a goldfish.


You can observe a lot just by watching.

Cervantes Miguel de

Execute every act of thy life as though it were thy last.

Cervantes Miguel de

Doubt isn't the opposite of faith; it is an element of faith.

Cervantes Miguel de

There are no accidents whatsoever in the universe.

Cervantes Miguel de

Facts are the enemy of truth.

Cervantes Miguel de

What!? Me worry?

Cervantes Miguel de

We're all in this alone.

Cervantes Miguel de

It is better to live rich than to die rich.

Cervantes Miguel de

What we cannot speak about we must pass over in silence.

Cervantes Miguel de

Walking on water wasn't built in a day.

Cervantes Miguel de

Small is beautiful.

Cervantes Miguel de

The use of money is all the advantage there is to having money.

Ch St. John

Remembering is for those who have forgotten.

Chadwick Hal

Credit ... is the only enduring testimonial to man's confidence in man.

Chamfort Nicolas

Plus ,ca change, plus c'est la m^eme chose. [The more things change, the more they remain the same.]

Chandler Raymond

One learns to itch where one can scratch.

Chandler Raymond

The best executive is one who has sense enough to pick good people to do what he wants done, and self-restraint enough to keep from meddling with them while they do it.

Chandler Raymond

Between 1950 and 1952, a bored weatherman, stationed north of Hudson Bay, left a monument that neither government nor time can eradicate. Using a bulldozer abandoned by the Air Force, he spent two years and great effort pushing boulders into a single

Chandler Raymond

From the cradle to the coffin underwear comes first.

Channing William Ellery

The man who runs may fight again.

Chapelain Maurice

God gave man two ears and one tongue so that we listen twice as much as we speak.

Chaplin Charlie

A wise person makes his own decisions, a weak one obeys public opinion.

Chapman George

What one fool can do, another can.

Charles Chincholles

You get what you pay for.

Charles Darling

With all the talent around, it's sort of amazing that a woman could be up here with us.

Charles Darling

Look, we trade every day out there with hustlers, deal-makers, shysters, con-men. That's the way businesses get started. That's the way this country was built.

Charles Dickens

A committee is a group that keeps the minutes and loses hours.

Charles Dickens

By protracting life, we do not deduct one jot from the duration of death.

Charles Dickens

There's no such thing as a free lunch.

Charles Ives

Never invest your money in anything that eats or needs repainting.

Charles Schulz

Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely.

Charlie Crazy

Innovation is hard to schedule.


When a fellow says, "It ain't the money but the principle of the thing," it's the money.


If a thing's worth doing, it is worth doing badly.

Chavez Cesar

There has been a little distress selling on the stock exchange.

Chaykin Howard

Every person, all the events in your life are there because you have drawn them there. What you choose to do with them is up to you.


If you are shooting under 80 you are neglecting your business; over 80 you are neglecting your golf.

Cheever John

Nitwit ideas are for emergencies. You use them when you've got nothing else to try. If they work, they go in the Book. Otherwise you follow the Book, which is largely a collection of nitwit ideas that worked.

Chesterson Gilbert K.

Death is life's way of telling you you've been fired.

Chesterton G. K.

One good turn deserves another.

Chesterton G.K.

What fools these mortals be.

Chesterton G.K.

Chance is perhaps the work of God when He did not want to sign.

Chesterton G.K.

There are many of us in this old world of ours who hold that things break about even for all of us. I have observed, for example, that we all get about the same amount of ice. The rich get it in the summer and the poor get it in the winter.

Chesterton G.K.

Everything is possible. Pass the word.

Chesterton G.K.

Force has no place where there is need of skill.

Chesterton G.K.

Perhaps the remembrance of these things will prove a source of future pleasure.

Chesterton G.K.

Two can Live as Cheaply as One for Half as Long.

Chevalier Maurice

If we don't survive, we don't do anything else.

Chevins Anthony

It is ridiculous to call this an industry. This is not. This is rat eat rat, dog eat dog. I'll kill 'em, and I'm going to kill 'em before they kill me. You're talking about the American way of survival of the fittest.

Chichester Reverend

If a man has a strong faith he can indulge in the luxury of skepticism.

Chill The Big

Forgive and forget.


God helps them that help themselves.

Chris Robert

A woman takes off her claim to respect along with her garments.

Christ Jesus

Men freely believe that what they wish to desire.


The optimist thinks that this is the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist knows it.


Just remember, wherever you go, there you are.

Chuck Jones

It is bad luck to be superstitious.


Wisdom is knowing what to do with what you know.

Churchill W.

When your work speaks for itself, don't interrupt.

Churchill Winston

If a thing's worth having, it's worth cheating for.

Churchill Winston

A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds.

Churchill Winston

To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.

Churchill Winston

Love may laugh at locksmiths, but he has a profound respect for money bags.

Churchill Winston

Nothing recedes like success.

Churchill Winston

A woman occasionally is quite a serviceable substitute for masturbation. It takes an abundance of imagination, to be sure.

Churchill Winston

One of your most ancient writers, a historian named Herodotus, tells of a thief who was to be executed. As he was taken away he made a bargain with the king: in one year he would teach the king's favorite horse to sing hymns. The other prisoners wa

Churchill Winston

I was in this prematurely air conditioned supermarket and there were all these aisles and there were these bathing caps you could buy that had these kind of Fourth of July plumes on them that were red and yellow and blue and I wasn't tempted to buy

Churchill Winston

We were so poor we couldn't afford a watchdog. If we heard a noise at night, we'd bark ourselves.

Churchill Winston

The problem that we thought was a problem was, indeed, a problem, but not the problem we thought was the problem.

Churchill Winston

"No job too big; no fee too big!"

Churchill Winston

Having the fewest wants, I am nearest to the gods.

Churchill Winston

Human resources are human first, and resources second.

Churchill Winston

He has not acquired a fortune; the fortune has acquired him.

Churchill Winston

Money can't buy love, but it improves your bargaining position.

Churchill W.

I never cheated an honest man, only rascals. They wanted something for nothing. I gave them nothing for something.

Churchill W.

Getting into trouble is easy.

Churchill Winston

A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.

Churchill Winston

Kindness is the beginning of cruelty.

Churchill Winston

Women are nothing but machines for producing children.

Churchill Winston

... a thing called Ethics, whose nature was confusing but if you had it you were a High-Class Realtor and if you hadn't you were a shyster, a piker and a fly-by-night. These virtues awakened Confidence and enabled you to handle Bigger Propositions.

Ciardi John

To restore a sense of reality, I think Walt Disney should have a Hardluckland.

Ciardi John

The more the merrier.

Ciardi John

Long were the days of pain I have spent within its walls, and long were the nights of aloneness; and who can depart from his pain and his aloneness without regret?

Cicero Marcus Tullius

While there's life, there's hope.

Cicero Marcus Tullius

She applies her lipstick in spite of its contents: "greasy rouge, containing crushed and dried insect corpses for coloring, beeswax for stiffness, and olive oil to help it flow - the latter having the unfortunate tendency to go rancid several hours a

Claghorn Senator

If you sell diamonds, you cannot expect to have many customers. But a diamond is a diamond even if there are no customers.

Clapton Eric

Beauty is one of the rare things which does not lead to doubt of God.

Clarence Darrow to William

Genius is pain.

Clark Alex

"The chain which can be yanked is not the eternal chain."

Clark Blake

A beginning is the time for taking the most delicate care that balances are correct.

Clark Ramsey

The world is your exercise-book, the pages on which you do your sums. It is not reality, although you can express reality there if you wish. You are also free to write nonsense, or lies, or to tear the pages.

Clarke Arthur

Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet?

Clarke Arthur C.

Life is one long struggle in the dark.

Clarke Arthur C.

It is wise to keep in mind that neither success nor failure is ever final.

Cleaver Eldridge

An aphorism is never exactly true; it is either a half-truth or one-and-a-half truths.


Who does not trust enough will not be trusted.

Clement Hal

When the going gets tough, everyone leaves.

Cleyre Voltarine de

Misery no longer loves company. Nowadays it insists on it.

Clifton Fadiman

A witty saying proves nothing.

Clopton R.

Fain would I climb, yet fear I to fall.

Clough Arthur

Every man who has reached even his intellectual teens begins to suspect that life is no farce; that it is not genteel comedy even; that it flowers and fructifies on the contrary out of the profoundest tragic depths of the essential death in which its

Cocteau Jean

With her body, woman is more sincere than man; but with her mind she lies. And when she lies, she does not believe herself.

Cocteau Jean

A good reputation is more valuable than money.

Cohan George M.

If I cannot bend Heaven, I shall move Hell.

Cohan George M.

Life is like a 10 speed bicycle. Most of us have gears we never use.

Cohen Mickey

Aim for the moon. If you miss, you may hit a star.

Cohen Leonard

The trouble with the rat-race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.

Cointment Joe

"The jig's up, Elman." "Which jig?"

Coke Sir Edward

You have to run as fast as you can just to stay where you are. If you want to get anywhere, you'll have to run much faster.

Col Lew

Only that in you which is me can hear what I'm saying.

Colby Frank Moore

Competitive fury is not always anger. It is the true missionary's courage and zeal in facing the possibility that one's best may not be enough.

Colby F.M.

Practice yourself what you preach.


Even the best of friends cannot attend each other's funeral.

Colton C.C.

Reality is bad enough, why should I tell the truth?

Comics Green Lantern

In charity there is no excess.


I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday and I love today.


"Do you think there's a God?" "Well, ____SOMEbody's out to get me!"


Alas, I am dying beyond my means.


The closest to perfection a person ever comes is when he fills out a job application form.


An older student came to Otis and said, "I have been to see a great number of teachers and I have given up a great number of pleasures. I have fasted, been celibate and stayed awake nights seeking enlightenment. I have given up everything I was aske


Don't go to bed with no price on your head.


Mental power tended to corrupt, and absolute intelligence tended to corrupt absolutely, until the victim eschewed violence entirely in favor of smart solutions to stupid problems.


The first myth of management is that it exists. The second myth of management is that success equals skill.


Honesty pays, but it doesn't seem to pay enough to suit some people.


It is not doing the thing we like to do, but liking the thing we have to do, that makes life blessed.

Conrad Joseph

Three minutes' thought would suffice to find this out; but thought is irksome and three minutes is a long time.

Conrad Joseph

The most difficult thing in the world is to know how to do a thing and to watch someone else doing it wrong, without commenting.

Coo Alistair

If a guru falls in the forest with no one to hear him, was he really a guru at all?

Cooke Alistair

The whole earth is in jail and we're plotting this incredible jailbreak.

Cooke Alistair

Our business in life is not to succeed but to continue to fail in high spirits.

Coolidge Calvin

Given a choice between grief and nothing, I'd choose grief.

Coolidge Calvin

The only happiness lies in reason; all the rest of the world is dismal. The highest reason, however, I see in the work of the artist, and he may experience it as such. Happiness lies in the swiftness of feeling and thinking: all the rest of the worl

Coolidge Calvin

Live within your income, even if you have to borrow to do so.

Coolidge Calvin

Our policy is, when in doubt, do the right thing.

Coolidge Calvin

It's not so hard to lift yourself by your bootstraps once you're off the ground.

Coolidge Calvin

A likely impossibility is always preferable to an unconvincing possibility.

Coolidge Calvin

One picture is worth more than ten thousand words.

Cooper A.

Now, you might ask, "How do I get one of those complete home tool sets for under $4?" An excellent question. Go to one of those really cheap discount stores where they sell plastic furniture in colors visible from the planet Neptune and where they

Cooper Jeff

Money doesn't talk, it swears.

Corwin Prince of

We have lingered long enough on the shores of the Cosmic Ocean.

Costello E.

You must be the change you wish to see in the world.

Costello Elvis

If your happiness depends on what somebody else does, I guess you do have a problem.

Costello Elvis

The two most beautiful words in the English language are "Cheque Enclosed."

Costello Elvis

Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead.

Coult Alan

We can embody the truth, but we cannot know it.

Couple The Odd

Work is of two kinds: first, altering the position of matter at or near the earth's surface relative to other matter; second, telling other people to do so.

Cousins Norman

Necessity hath no law.

Cousins Norman

It is so stupid of modern civilisation to have given up believing in the devil when he is the only explanation of it.

Coward Noel

Life is the childhood of our immortality.

Cowboy The

Honesty is for the most part less profitable than dishonesty.

Crane Dr. Frank

As well look for a needle in a bottle of hay.

Crane Frank

Let your conscience be your guide.

Crane Stephen

God is the tangential point between zero and infinity.

Crane Stephen

Patience is the best remedy for every trouble.

Credo The Webb Wilder

You can never do just one thing.

Crisp Quentin

There is no proverb that is not true.

Crisp Quentin

He who has the courage to laugh is almost as much a master of the world as he who is ready to die.

Crisp Quentin

Ah, but a man's grasp should exceed his reach, Or what's a heaven for ?

Croll John

Once there lived a village of creatures along the bottom of a great crystal river. Each creature in its own manner clung tightly to the twigs and rocks of the river bottom, for clinging was their way of life, and resisting the current what each had

Cromwell Oliver

I know on which side my bread is buttered.

Crosby Norm

A society in which women are taught anything but the management of a family, the care of men, and the creation of the future generation is a society which is on its way out.

Crowe Joe

As failures go, attempting to recall the past is like trying to grasp the meaning of existence. Both make one feel like a baby clutching at a basketball: one's palms keep sliding off.

Crumb R.

Let sleeping dogs lie.

Cuomo Mario

(1) Avoid fried meats which angry up the blood. (2) If your stomach antagonizes you, pacify it with cool thoughts. (3) Keep the juices flowing by jangling around gently as you move. (4) Go very lightly on the vices, such as carrying on in society, as

Curtis Charles

The sooner you make your first 5000 mistakes, the sooner you will be able to correct them.

Cynic Diogenes the

Think sideways!

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Twain Mark

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