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Examinations are formidable even to the best prepared, for even the greatest fool may ask more the the wisest man can answer.

D Vine

Wait for that wisest of all counselors, Time.

D'Hericault Charles

Absolutum obsoletum. (If it works, it's out of date.)

Dada Idi Amin

When you are about to die, a wombat is better than no company at all.

Dada Idi Amin

It's not so hard to lift yourself by your bootstraps once you're off the ground.

Dagny Taggart

I went into the business for the money, and the art grew out of it. If people are disillusioned by that remark, I can't help it. It's the truth.

Daley Mayor

... a thing called Ethics, whose nature was confusing but if you had it you were a High-Class Realtor and if you hadn't you were a shyster, a piker and a fly-by-night. These virtues awakened Confidence and enabled you to handle Bigger Propositions.

Daley Mayor

"Cogito ergo I'm right and you're wrong."

Daley Richard

Every man thinks God is on his side. The rich and powerful know that he is.

Dali Salvador

The better the state is established, the fainter is humanity. To make the individual uncomfortable, that is my task.

Dam Andries van

Chance is perhaps the work of God when He did not want to sign.

Dane Franklin K.

It was the next morning that the armies of Twodor marched east laden with long lances, sharp swords, and death-dealing hangovers. The thousands were led by Arrowroot, who sat limply in his sidesaddle, nursing a whopper. Goodgulf, Gimlet, and the r

Dangerfield Rodney

Every man who has reached even his intellectual teens begins to suspect that life is no farce; that it is not genteel comedy even; that it flowers and fructifies on the contrary out of the profoundest tragic depths of the essential death in which its

Danton G.J.

"The Army is a place where you get up early in the morning to be yelled at by people with short haircuts and tiny brains."

Darling Charles

The government [is] extremely fond of amassing great quantities of statistics. These are raised to the nth degree, the cube roots are extracted, and the results are arranged into elaborate and impressive displays. What must be kept ever in mind, how

Darrow Clarence

I will make you shorter by the head.

Darrow Clarence

Prizes are for children.

Darrow Clarence

Getting into trouble is easy.

Darrow Clarence

"Elves and Dragons!" I says to him. "Cabbages and potatoes are better for you and me."

Darrow Clarence

Crito, I owe a cock to Asclepius; will you remember to pay the debt?

Darrow Clarence

The only winner in the War of 1812 was Tchaikovsky.

Darwin Charles

He who knows that enough is enough will always have enough.

Darwin Porter

Mankind is poised midway between the gods and the beasts.

Dass Baba Ram

The first Rotarian was the first man to call John the Baptist "Jack."

Dass Baba Ram

The health of a democratic society may be measured by the quality of functions performed by private citizens.


A woman's a woman until the day she dies, but a man's only a man as long as he can.

Dave Barry

The longer I am out of office, the more infallible I appear to myself.

David Bodanis

If reporters don't know that truth is plural, they ought to be lawyers.

David Niven

The trouble with the rat-race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.

Davis Evan

The truth is rarely pure, and never simple.

Davis Evan

Inglish Spocken Hier: some mangled translations Various signs in Poland: Right turn toward immediate outside. Go soothingly in the snow, as there lurk the ski demons. Five o'clock tea at all hours. In a men's washroom in Sidney:

Davis Miles

The superfluous is very necessary.

Davisson Richard

A woman who is guided by the head and not by the heart is a social pestilence: she has all the defects of the passionate and affectionate woman, with none of her compensations; she is without pity, without love, without virtue, without sex.

Day Clarence

What sane person could live in this world and not be crazy?

DeBalzac Honore

I owe the government $3400 in taxes. So I sent them two hammers and a toilet seat.

DeGaulle Charles

History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives.

Dead The Grateful

The way I understand it, the Russians are sort of a combination of evil and incompetence... sort of like the Post Office with tanks.

Dean James

Seize the day, put no trust in the morrow!

Dekker Thomas

The secret source of humor is not joy but sorrow; there is no humor in Heaven.


In case of fire, stand in the hall and shout "Fire!"

Dennett Daniel

Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet?

Derek Bok

Lookie, lookie, here comes cookie...


The IRS spends God knows how much of your tax money on these toll-free information hot lines staffed by IRS employees, whose idea of a dynamite tax tip is that you should print neatly. If you ask them a real tax question, such as how you can cheat,

Descartes Rene

I can't understand why a person will take a year or two to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars.

Dewar Lord Thomas

In spite of everything, I still believe that people are good at heart.

Dewar Lord Thomas

The old complaint that mass culture is designed for eleven-year-olds is of course a shameful canard. The key age has traditionally been more like fourteen.

Dewar Lord Thomas Rober

Kiss me, Kate, we will be married o' Sunday.

Dewey John

Lassie looked brilliant, in part because the farm family she lived with was made up of idiots. Remember? One of them was always getting pinned under the tractor, and Lassie was always rushing back to the farmhouse to alert the other ones. She'd w

Dick Philip K.

During almost fifteen centuries the legal establishment of Christianity has been upon trial. What has been its fruits? More or less, in all places, pride and indolence in the clergy; ignorance and servility in the laity,; in both, superstition, bigo

Dickens Charles

A priest asked: What is Fate, Master? And the Master answered: It is that which gives a beast of burden its reason for existence. It is that which men in former times had to bear upon their backs. It is that which has caused nations to build bywa

Dickens Charles

If a thing's worth doing, it is worth doing badly.

Dickens Charles

If we don't survive, we don't do anything else.

Dickey James

Lo! Men have become the tool of their tools.

Dickson Paul

In the first place, God made idiots; this was for practice; then he made school boards.

Dictionary Webster's Unafraid

Always the dullness of the fool is the whetstone of the wits.

Dictum Schumacher's

She cried, and the judge wiped her tears with my checkbook.

Diefenbaker John

I am a deeply superficial person.

Dillinger John

No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.


Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself.

Disney Walt

Imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality.

Disney Walt

The so-called lessons of history are for the most part the rationalizations of the victors. History is written by the survivors.

Disra Benjamin

Christianity has not been tried and found wanting; it has been found difficult and not tried.

Disrael Benjamin

I paid a visit to my local precinct in Greenwich Village and asked a sergeant to show me some rape statistics. He politely obliged. That month there had been thirty-five rape complaints, an advance of ten over the same month for the previous year.

Disraeli Benjamin

"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety."

Disraeli Benjamin

You always introduce the younger person to the older person, using the wording: "Miss Brown, I'd like to introduce you to an older person" (unless her name is not "Miss Brown"). If you do not know a person's age, ask for a driver's license and a ma

Disraeli Benjamin

"Here's the holiday schedule for Monday's observation of Martin Luther King Jr.'s birthday, when the following will be closed: * Governmental offices * Post offices * Libraries * Schools * Banks * Parts of Palm Beach and the mind of Se

Disraeli Benjamin

I'm never through with a girl until I've had her three ways.

Disraeli Benjamin

Washington [D.C.] is a city of Southern efficiency and Northern charm.

Disraeli Benjamin

My advice to the women's clubs of America is to raise more hell and fewer dahlias.

Dobbs Waldo D.R.

The reason we need the MX missile system is that the missiles we currently have in the ground are the Minuteman model, which is very old. The Defense Department can't even remember where half of them are. Insects have built nests in them. People hav

Dobson Austin

Every word is like an unnecessary stain on silence and nothingness.

Doctor The

Harp not on that string.

Dogtender The Mad

The primary theme of SoupCon is communication. The acronym "LEO" represents the secondary theme: Law Enforcement Officials The overall theme of SoupCon shall be: Avoiding Communication with Law Enforcement Officials

Dolph Sharp

"We're not talking about the same thing," he said. "For you the world is weird because if you're not bored with it you're at odds with it. For me the world is weird because it is stupendous, awesome, mysterious, unfathomable; my interest has been to

Dolph Sharp

Fourteen years in the professor dodge has taught me that one can argue ingeniously on behalf of any theory, applied to any piece of literature. This is rarely harmful, because normally no-one reads such essays.

Donald N. Smith president

In charity there is no excess.

Donatus Aelius


Donleavy J.P.

The public demands certainties; it must be told definitely and a bit raucously that this is true and that is false. But there are no certainties.

Dooley Mr.

It is so stupid of modern civilisation to have given up believing in the devil when he is the only explanation of it.

Dooley Mr.

"...The name of the song is called 'Haddocks' Eyes'!" "Oh, that's the name of the song, is it?" Alice said, trying to feel interested. "No, you don't understand," the Knight said, looking a little vexed. "That's what the name is called. The nam

Dostoyevski F.

The human instinct to censor thrives, as it always will, living in irrepressible conflict with the human instinct to speak. Outrage, self-righteousness, and paranoia feed the maw of censorship. Squelching speech, however, never reduces society's net

Doug Larson

War spares not the brave, but the cowardly.

Douglas Lord Alfred

In the olden days in England, you could be hung for stealing a sheep or a loaf of bread. However, if a sheep stole a loaf of bread and gave it to you, you would only be tried for receiving, a crime punishable by forty lashes with the cat or the dog,

Douglas Norman

If I were a grave-digger or even a hangman, there are some people I could work for with a great deal of enjoyment.

Douglas Adams

In Hollywood, all marriages are happy. It's trying to live together afterwards that causes the problems.

Douglass Frederick

"You can't survive by sucking the juice from a wet mitten."

Douglass Frederick

Whenever anyone says, "theoretically," they really mean, "not really."

Doyle Sir Arthur Conan

Authors (and perhaps columnists) eventually rise to the top of whatever depths they were once able to plumb.

Doyle Sir Arthur Conan

To generalize is to be an idiot.

Doyle Sir Arthur Conan

It took a while to surface, but it appears that a long-distance credit card may have saved a U.S. Army unit from heavy casualties during the Grenada military rescue/invasion. Major General David Nichols, Air Force ... said the Army unit was in a hous

Dr. Laurence J. Peter

C'est magnifique, mais ce n'est pas la guerre! [It is magnificent, but it is not war]

Dreshfield Jerry

Never let your sense of morals prevent you from doing what is right.

Droz Gustave

I don't understand what all the fuss was about in Los Angeles. It's not like we looted Brooks Brothers when Oliver North got off.

Drucker Peter

We may not be able to persuade Hindus that Jesus and not Vishnu should govern their spiritual horizon, nor Moslems that Lord Buddha is at the center of their spiritual universe, nor Hebrews that Mohammed is a major prohpet, nor Christians that Shinto

Dudley Riggs

The philosopher's treatment of a question is like the treatment of an illness.

Duggan B.

He thought of Musashi, the Sword Saint, standing in his garden more than three hundred years ago. "What is the 'Body of a rock'?" he was asked. In answer, Musashi summoned a pupil of his and bid him kill himself by slashing his abdomen with a knife.

Duke Raoul

"If once a man indulges himself in murder, very soon he comes to think little of robbing; and from robbing he next comes to drinking and Sabbath-breaking, and from that to incivility and procrastination."


Things are not always what they seem.

Dumas Alexander

Best Mistakes In Films In his "Filmgoer's Companion", Mr. Leslie Halliwell helpfully lists four of the cinema's greatest moments which you should get to see if at all possible. In "Carmen Jones", the camera tracks with Dorothy Dandridge down a st

Dumas Alexandre

It is difficult to produce a television documentary that is both incisive and probing when every twelve minutes one is interrupted by twelve dancing rabbits singing about toilet paper.

Dunne Finley Peter

We should realize that a city is better off with bad laws, so long as they remain fixed, then with good laws that are constantly being altered, that the lack of learning combined with sound common sense is more helpful than the kind of cleverness th

Durant Will

Bond reflected that good Americans were fine people and that most of them seemed to come from Texas.

Durocher Leo

The true Southern watermelon is a boon apart, and not to be mentioned with commoner things. It is chief of the world's luxuries, king by the grace of God over all the fruits of the earth. When one has tasted it, he knows what the angels eat. It wa

Dwight Walter

So little time, so little to do.

Dwight Van de Vate

The Least Successful Equal Pay Advertisement In 1976 the European Economic Community pointed out to the Irish Government that it had not yet implemented the agreed sex equality legislation. The Dublin Government immediately advertised for an equal

Dye W.H. Auden

Live fast, die young, and leave a flat patch of fur on the highway!


"There is a God, but He drinks"

Dyke Henry Van

You roll my log, and I will roll yours.


If there were a school for, say, sheet metal workers, that after three years left its graduates as unprepared for their careers as does law school, it would be closed down in a minute, and no doubt by lawyers.

Dylan Bob

Education is learning what you didn't even know you didn't know.

Dylan Bob

Things are more like they are today than they ever were before.

Dylan Bob

... before I could come to any conclusion it occurred to me that my speech or my silence, indeed any action of mine, would be a mere futility. What did it matter what anyone knew or ignored? What did it matter who was manager? One gets sometimes s

Dyson Freeman

I've got all the money I'll ever need if I die by 4 o'clock.

de Dave Johnson on

Good government never depends upon laws, but upon the personal qualities of those who govern. The machinery of government is always subordinate to the will of those who administer that machinery. The most important element of government, therefore,

distinctly and quite

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Better the prince of some inferior court, Than second, or less, in beatific light.
Joost van den Vondel

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