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"You boys lookin' for trouble?" "Sure. Whaddya got?"

D Vine

Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself.

D'Hericault Charles

Plus ,ca change, plus c'est la m^eme chose. [The more things change, the more they remain the same.]

Dada Idi Amin

Since everything in life is but an experience perfect in being what it is, having nothing to do with good or bad, acceptance or rejection, one may well burst out in laughter.

Dada Idi Amin

You can no more win a war than you can win an earthquake.

Dagny Taggart

It's always darkest just before the lights go out.

Daley Mayor

Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines.

Daley Mayor

One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.

Daley Richard

War spares not the brave, but the cowardly.

Dali Salvador

The human instinct to censor thrives, as it always will, living in irrepressible conflict with the human instinct to speak. Outrage, self-righteousness, and paranoia feed the maw of censorship. Squelching speech, however, never reduces society's net

Dam Andries van

The Law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich, as well as the poor, to sleep under the bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread.

Dane Franklin K.

A fake fortuneteller can be tolerated. But an authentic soothsayer should be shot on sight. Cassandra did not get half the kicking around she deserved.

Dangerfield Rodney

There are ten or twenty basic truths, and life is the process of discovering them over and over and over.

Danton G.J.

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.

Darling Charles

Luke, I'm yer father, eh. Come over to the dark side, you hoser.

Darrow Clarence

When you make your mark in the world, watch out for guys with erasers.

Darrow Clarence

One, with God, is always a majority, but many a martyr has been burned at the stake while the votes were being counted.

Darrow Clarence

Set the cart before the horse.

Darrow Clarence

Skill without imagination is craftsmanship and gives us many useful objects such as wickerwork picnic baskets. Imagination without skill gives us modern art.

Darrow Clarence

Between 1950 and 1952, a bored weatherman, stationed north of Hudson Bay, left a monument that neither government nor time can eradicate. Using a bulldozer abandoned by the Air Force, he spent two years and great effort pushing boulders into a single

Darrow Clarence

We were so poor we couldn't afford a watchdog. If we heard a noise at night, we'd bark ourselves.

Darwin Charles

The English instinctively admire any man who has no talent and is modest about it.

Darwin Porter

All the really good ideas I ever had came to me while I was milking a cow.

Dass Baba Ram


Dass Baba Ram

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.


Moneyliness is next to Godliness.

Dave Barry

Philosophy will clip an angel's wings.

David Bodanis

There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?

David Niven

A dream will always triumph over reality, once it is given the chance.

Davis Evan

But the greatest Electrical Pioneer of them all was Thomas Edison, who was a brilliant inventor despite the fact that he had little formal education and lived in New Jersey. Edison's first major invention in 1877, was the phonograph, which could soo

Davis Evan

The only really good place to buy lumber is at a store where the lumber has already been cut and attached together in the form of furniture, finished, and put inside boxes.

Davis Miles

My problem lies in reconciling my gross habits with my net income.

Davisson Richard

Your wig steers the gig.

Day Clarence

So far as I can remember, there is not one word in the Gospels in praise of intelligence.

DeBalzac Honore

I value kindness to human beings first of all, and kindness to animals. I don't respect the law; I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger, the food cheaper, and old men

DeGaulle Charles

"All snakes who wish to remain in Ireland will please raise their right hands."

Dead The Grateful

You can't expect a boy to be vicious till he's been to a good school.

Dean James

We Americans, we're a simple people... but piss us off, and we'll bomb your cities.

Dekker Thomas

Let others praise ancient times; I am glad I was born in these.


All phone calls are obscene.

Dennett Daniel

The road to Hades is easy to travel.

Derek Bok


Absolutum obsoletum. (If it works, it's out of date.)

Descartes Rene

Lassie looked brilliant, in part because the farm family she lived with was made up of idiots. Remember? One of them was always getting pinned under the tractor, and Lassie was always rushing back to the farmhouse to alert the other ones. She'd w

Dewar Lord Thomas

The more I want to get something done, the less I call it work.

Dewar Lord Thomas

You can bring men from other parts of the world who are sane. And you know what happens? At the very moment they cross those mountains... they go mad. Instantaneously and automatically, at the very moment they cross the mountains into California,

Dewar Lord Thomas Rober

Yes, I've now got this nice little apartment in New York, one of those L-shaped ones. Unfortunately, it's a lower case l.

Dewey John

Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known.

Dick Philip K.

They sentenced me to twenty years of boredom for trying to change the system from within. I'm coming now I'm coming to reward them. First we take Manhattan, then we take Berlin. I'm guided by a signal in the heavens. I'm guided by this birthmark

Dickens Charles

Let me assure you that to us here at First National, you're not just a number. Youre two numbers, a dash, three more numbers, another dash and another number.

Dickens Charles

Never take a resume seriously. Resumes only make money for the people who write the resumes. No resume ever tells an employer how many times a job applicant has had the clap. Why, indeed, would anyone hire a person based on a resume written by a

Dickens Charles

Use what talents you possess: the woods would be very silent if no birds sang there except those that sang best.

Dickey James

Three minutes' thought would suffice to find this out; but thought is irksome and three minutes is a long time.

Dickson Paul

Objectivity is to a newspaper what virtue is to a woman.

Dictionary Webster's Unafraid

The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in the mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function.

Dictum Schumacher's

The average Ph.D thesis is nothing but the transference of bones from one graveyard to another.

Diefenbaker John

Any stone in your boot always migrates against the pressure gradient to exactly the point of most pressure.

Dillinger John

In spite of everything, I still believe that people are good at heart.


"What's the use of a good quotation if you can't change it?"

Disney Walt

Sometimes, too long is too long.

Disney Walt

"Acceptance without proof is the fundamental characteristic of Western religion, Rejection without proof is the fundamental characteristic of Western science."

Disra Benjamin

There are two ways of disliking art. One is to dislike it. The other is to like it rationally.

Disrael Benjamin

It has long been noticed that juries are pitiless for robbery and full of indulgence for infanticide. A question of interest, my dear Sir! The jury is afraid of being robbed and has passed the age when it could be a victim of infanticide.

Disraeli Benjamin

The superfluous is very necessary.

Disraeli Benjamin

I recognize terror as the finest emotion and so I will try to terrorize the reader. But if I find that I cannot terrify, I will try to horrify, and if I find that I cannot horrify, I'll go for the gross-out.

Disraeli Benjamin

Advertising is a valuable economic factor because it is the cheapest way of selling goods, particularly if the goods are worthless.

Disraeli Benjamin

What you don't know won't help you much either.

Disraeli Benjamin

He draweth out the thread of his verbosity finer than the staple of his argument.

Disraeli Benjamin

You are never given a wish without also being given the power to make it true. You may have to work for it, however.

Dobbs Waldo D.R.

Generally speaking, the Way of the warrior is resolute acceptance of death.

Dobson Austin

God is the tangential point between zero and infinity.

Doctor The

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.

Dogtender The Mad

The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it.

Dolph Sharp

A woman who is guided by the head and not by the heart is a social pestilence: she has all the defects of the passionate and affectionate woman, with none of her compensations; she is without pity, without love, without virtue, without sex.

Dolph Sharp

A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.

Donald N. Smith president

There never was a good war or a bad peace.

Donatus Aelius

Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.

Donleavy J.P.

Whenever I hear anyone arguing for slavery, I feel a strong impulse to see it tried on him personally.

Dooley Mr.

We were young and our happiness dazzled us with its strength. But there was also a terrible betrayal that lay within me like a Merle Haggard song at a French restaurant. [...] I could not tell the girl about the woman of the tollway, of her milk w

Dooley Mr.

I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.

Dostoyevski F.

"Cogito ergo I'm right and you're wrong."

Doug Larson

The individual choice of garnishment of a burger can be an important point to the consumer in this day when individualism is an increasingly important thing to people.

Douglas Lord Alfred

It is not doing the thing we like to do, but liking the thing we have to do, that makes life blessed.

Douglas Norman

Television is now so desperately hungry for material that it is scraping the top of the barrel.

Douglas Adams

"The Right Honorable Gentleman is indebted to his memory for his jests and to his imagination for his facts."

Douglass Frederick

VII. Certain bodies can pass through solid walls painted to resemble tunnel entrances; others cannot. This trompe l'oeil inconsistency has baffled generations, but at least it is known that whoever paints an entrance on a wall's surface to

Douglass Frederick

I never cheated an honest man, only rascals. They wanted something for nothing. I gave them nothing for something.

Doyle Sir Arthur Conan

Take your work seriously but never take yourself seriously; and do not take what happens either to yourself or your work seriously.

Doyle Sir Arthur Conan

Term, holidays, term, holidays, till we leave school, and then work, work, work till we die.

Doyle Sir Arthur Conan

Two can Live as Cheaply as One for Half as Long.

Dr. Laurence J. Peter

Examinations are formidable even to the best prepared, for even the greatest fool may ask more the the wisest man can answer.

Dreshfield Jerry

Fill what's empty, empty what's full, scratch where it itches.

Droz Gustave

I'll turn over a new leaf.

Drucker Peter

What we wish, that we readily believe.

Dudley Riggs

He who has the courage to laugh is almost as much a master of the world as he who is ready to die.

Duggan B.

If I were a grave-digger or even a hangman, there are some people I could work for with a great deal of enjoyment.

Duke Raoul

Feminists say 60 percent of the country's wealth is in the hands of women. They're letting men hold the other 40 percent because their handbags are full.


One of my favorite jokes, a telling commentary on Jewish mothers' capacity to lay on guilt, involves the mother who gave her son two neckties on Chanuka. The boy hurried into his bedroom, ripped off the tie he was wearing, put on one of the ties his

Dumas Alexander

Never promise more than you can perform.

Dumas Alexandre

We all declare for liberty, but in using the same word we do not all mean the same thing.

Dunne Finley Peter

Suspicion always haunts the guilty mind.

Durant Will

I need another lawyer like I need another hole in my head.

Durocher Leo

"Rembrandt's first name was Beauregard, which is why he never used it."

Dwight Walter

Some people say a front-engine car handles best. Some people say a rear-engine car handles best. I say a rented car handles best.

Dwight Van de Vate

There are three rules for writing a novel. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are.

Dye W.H. Auden

Odets, where is thy sting?


Dustin Farnum: Why, yesterday, I had the audience glued to their seats! Oliver Herford: Wonderful! Wonderful! Clever of you to think of it!

Dyke Henry Van

Catharsis is something I associate with pornography and crossword puzzles.


There is much Obi-Wan did not tell you.

Dylan Bob

Must I hold a candle to my shames?

Dylan Bob

When you are at Rome live in the Roman style; when you are elsewhere live as they live elsewhere.

Dylan Bob

There is a secret person undamaged within every individual.

Dyson Freeman

Whenever the literary German dives into a sentence, that is the last you are going to see of him until he emerges on the other side of his Atlantic with his verb in his mouth.

de Dave Johnson on

No is no negative in a woman's mouth.

distinctly and quite

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You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist.
Gandhi Indira

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