The man who runs may fight again.

Sho' they got to have it against the law. Shoot, ever'body git high, they wouldn't be nobody git up and feed the chickens. Hee-hee.

Any philosophy that can be put "in a nutshell" belongs there.

There's such a thing as too much point on a pencil.

Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing at the moment.

Have a place for everything and keep the thing somewhere else; this is not advice, it is merely custom.

Grief can take care of itself; but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with.

The most costly of all follies is to believe passionately in the palpably not true. It is the chief occupation of mankind.

It's very glamorous to raise millions of dollars, until it's time for the venture capitalist to suck your eyeballs out.

Some women should be beaten regularly, like gongs.

Persistence in one opinion has never been considered a merit in political leaders.

If happiness is in your destiny, you need not be in a hurry.

If we can ever make red tape nutritional, we can feed the world.

She is not refined. She is not unrefined. She keeps a parrot.

Then a man said: Speak to us of Expectations. He then said: If a man does not see or hear the waters of the Jordan, then he should not taste the pomegranate or ply his wares in an open market. If a man would not labour in the salt and rock quarri

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.

I owe the public nothing.

In "King Henry VI, Part II," Shakespeare has Dick Butcher suggest to his fellow anti-establishment rabble-rousers, "The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers." That action may be extreme but a similar sentiment was expressed by Thomas K. Co

A lie is an abomination unto the Lord and a very present help in time of trouble.

Several years ago, some smart businessmen had an idea: Why not build a big store where a do-it-yourselfer could get everything he needed at reasonable prices? Then they decided, nah, the hell with that, let's build a home center. And before long ho

There's no such thing as a free lunch.

God made everything out of nothing, but the nothingness shows through.

Nasrudin returned to his village from the imperial capital, and the villagers gathered around to hear what had passed. "At this time," said Nasrudin, "I only want to say that the King spoke to me." All the villagers but the stupidest ran off to spr

"I'm in Pittsburgh. Why am I here?"

There's nothing worse for your business than extra Santa Clauses smoking in the men's room.

Fear and loathing, my man, fear and loathing.

No is no negative in a woman's mouth.

If you give Congress a chance to vote on both sides of an issue, it will always do it.

"... all the modern inconveniences ..."

On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does.

Art is anything you can get away with.

You should never wear your best trousers when you go out to fight for freedom and liberty.

Never buy from a rich salesman.

Nobody can be exactly like me. Sometimes even I have trouble doing it.

Ninety percent of everything is crap.

Imitation is the sincerest form of television.

The flush toilet is the basis of Western civilization.

Things past redress and now with me past care.

Ah, but a man's grasp should exceed his reach, Or what's a heaven for ?

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

The reason we need the MX missile system is that the missiles we currently have in the ground are the Minuteman model, which is very old. The Defense Department can't even remember where half of them are. Insects have built nests in them. People hav

A game can by God repent or we'll punish it. That's how they did it in Salem in the seventeenth century, and that's how we'll do it now.

Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice. In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians called it "Christmas" and went to

All bad precedents began as justifiable measures.

If you aren't rich you should always look useful.

Housework can kill you if done right.

Would that my hand were as swift as my tongue.

Fast ship? You mean you've never heard of the Millennium Falcon?

Live within your income, even if you have to borrow to do so.

You will remember, Watson, how the dreadful business of the Abernetty family was first brought to my notice by the depth which the parsley had sunk into the butter upon a hot day.

If the English language made any sense, lackadaisical would have something to do with a shortage of flowers.

Certain passages in several laws have always defied interpretation and the most inexplicable must be a matter of opinion. A judge of the Court of Session of Scotland has sent the editors of this book his candidate which reads, "In the Nuts (unground

Treat your friend as if he might become an enemy.

A Galileo could no more be elected president of the United States than he could be elected Pope of Rome. Both high posts are reserved for men favored by God with an extraordinary genius for swathing the bitter facts of life in bandages of self-illus

The United States is like the guy at the party who gives cocaine to everybody and still nobody likes him.

Sometimes, too long is too long.

With reasonable men I will reason; with humane men I will plead; but to tyrants I will give no quarter.

For some reason a glaze passes over people's faces when you say "Canada". Maybe we should invade South Dakota or something.

Writing about music is like dancing about architecture.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm in my right mind. Then it passes off and I'm as intelligent as ever.

Bond reflected that good Americans were fine people and that most of them seemed to come from Texas.

According to my best recollection, I don't remember.

If you want to know what god thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.

The Bible is not my Book and Christianity is not my religion. I could never give assent to the long complicated statements of Christian dogma.

Life is a concentration camp. You're stuck here and there's no way out and you can only rage impotently against your persecutors.

When a fellow says, "It ain't the money but the principle of the thing," it's the money.

"Somewhere", said Father Vittorini, "did Blake not speak of the Machineries of Joy? That is, did not God promote environments, then intimidate these Natures by provoking the existence of flesh, toy men and women, such as are we all? And thus happi

The danger is not that a particular class is unfit to govern. Every class is unfit to govern.

What we wish, that we readily believe.

Ever get the feeling that the world's on tape and one of the reels is missing?

"After I asked him what he meant, he replied that freedom consisted of the unimpeded right to get rich, to use his ability, no matter what the cost to others, to win advancement."

"Jesus saves...but Gretzky gets the rebound!"

One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.

Hear me, my chiefs, I am tired; my heart is sick and sad. From where the sun now stands I Will Fight No More Forever.

My father was a saint, I'm not.

Don't steal; thou'lt never thus compete successfully in business. Cheat.

Exxon's 'Universe of Energy' tends to the peculiar rather than the humorous ... After [an incomprehensible film montage about wind and sun and rain and strip mines and] two or three minutes of mechanical confusion, the seats locomote through a short

The `loner' may be respected, but he is always resented by his colleagues, for he seems to be passing a critical judgment on them, when he may be simply making a limiting statement about himself.

... why should you waste a single moment of *your* life seeming to be something you don't want to be? Lord, that's so simple. If you hate your job, quit it. If your friends are tedious, go out and find new friends. You are queer, you lucky fool, a

America has been discovered before, but it has always been hushed up.

Pity the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.

If I have to lay an egg for my country, I'll do it.

Where it is a duty to worship the sun it is pretty sure to be a crime to examine the laws of heat.

A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject.

Those who do things in a noble spirit of self-sacrifice are to be avoided at all costs.

There are people who find it odd to eat four or five Chinese meals in a row; in China, I often remind them, there are a billion or so people who find nothing odd about it.

Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.

The coast was clear.

The two oldest professions in the world have been ruined by amateurs.

A sect or party is an elegant incognito devised to save a man from the vexation of thinking.

Why does a hearse horse snicker, hauling a lawyer away?

Remember that there is an outside world to see and enjoy.

It's easier to take it apart than to put it back together.

Who's scruffy-looking?

Gone With The Wind LITE(tm)

Zero Mostel: That's it baby! When you got it, flaunt it! Flaunt it!

L'hazard ne favorise que l'esprit prepare.

The Russians have put a small ball up in the air. That does not raise my apprehensions one iota.

There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about.

Power tends to corrupt, absolute power corrupts absolutely.

The way I understand it, the Russians are sort of a combination of evil and incompetence... sort of like the Post Office with tanks.

General notions are generally wrong.

Well, here it is, 1983, so it won't be long before you start reading a lot of boring stories about people like Vance Hartke. Hartke is a governor or mayor or something from one of the flatter states, and the reason you'll be reading about him is tha

I've got all the money I'll ever need if I die by 4 o'clock.

Nothing in life is so exhilarating as to be shot at without result.

In breeding cattle you need one bull for every twenty-five cows, unless the cows are known sluts.

We have reason to be afraid. This is a terrible place.

Don't go to bed with no price on your head.

There is no distinctly native American criminal class except Congress.

Ben, why didn't you tell me?

I found Rome a city of bricks and left it a city of marble.

Nothing is more admirable than the fortitude with which millionaires tolerate the disadvantages of their wealth.

"God gives burdens; also shoulders" Jimmy Carter cited this Jewish saying in his concession speech at the end of the 1980 election. At least he said it was a Jewish saying; I can't find it anywhere. I'm sure he's telling the truth though; why wo

Turn the other cheek.