Crucifixes are sexy because there's a naked man on them.

The health of a democratic society may be measured by the quality of functions performed by private citizens.

The primary theme of SoupCon is communication. The acronym "LEO" represents the secondary theme: Law Enforcement Officials The overall theme of SoupCon shall be: Avoiding Communication with Law Enforcement Officials

For certain people, after fifty, litigation takes the place of sex.

Aim for the moon. If you miss, you may hit a star.

Fortune Documents the Great Legal Decisions: We think that we may take judicial notice of the fact that the term "bitch" may imply some feeling of endearment when applied to a female of the canine species but that it is seldom, if ever, so used whe

Americans' greatest fear is that America will turn out to have been a phenomenon, not a civilization.

What you want, what you're hanging around in the world waiting for, is for something to occur to you.

"If once a man indulges himself in murder, very soon he comes to think little of robbing; and from robbing he next comes to drinking and Sabbath-breaking, and from that to incivility and procrastination."

You must know that a man can have only one invulnerable loyalty, loyalty to his own concept of the obligations of manhood. All other loyalties are merely deputies of that one.

Not to laugh, not to lament, not to curse, but to understand.

United Nations, New York, December 25. The peace and joy of the Christmas season was marred by a proclamation of a general strike of all the military forces of the world. Panic reigns in the hearts of all the patriots of every persuasion. Meanwhil

Housework can kill you if done right.

Nasrudin returned to his village from the imperial capital, and the villagers gathered around to hear what had passed. "At this time," said Nasrudin, "I only want to say that the King spoke to me." All the villagers but the stupidest ran off to spr

Then a man said: Speak to us of Expectations. He then said: If a man does not see or hear the waters of the Jordan, then he should not taste the pomegranate or ply his wares in an open market. If a man would not labour in the salt and rock quarri

I don't have any use for bodyguards, but I do have a specific use for two highly trained certified public accountants.

Beauty is one of the rare things which does not lead to doubt of God.

Interesting poll results reported in today's New York Post: people on the street in midtown Manhattan were asked whether they approved of the US invasion of Grenada. Fifty-three percent said yes; 39 percent said no; and 8 percent said "Gimme a quart

When eating an elephant take one bite at a time.

A copy of the universe is not what is required of art; one of the damned things is ample.

I need another lawyer like I need another hole in my head.

A Polish worker walks into a bank to deposit his paycheck. He has heard about Poland's economic problems, and he asks what would happen to his money if the bank collapsed. "All of our deposits are guaranteed by the finance ministry, sir," the telle

I steal.

An atom-blaster is a good weapon, but it can point both ways.

Inglish Spocken Hier: some mangled translations Sign on a cathedral in Spain: It is forbidden to enter a woman, even a foreigner if dressed as a man. Above the enterance to a Cairo bar: Unaccompanied ladies not admitted unless with husb

If there were a school for, say, sheet metal workers, that after three years left its graduates as unprepared for their careers as does law school, it would be closed down in a minute, and no doubt by lawyers.

Anyone can hold the helm when the sea is calm.

Unknown person(s) stole the American flag from its pole in Etra Park sometime between 3pm Jan 17 and 11:30 am Jan 20. The flag is described as red, white and blue, having 50 stars and was valued at $40.

It is not the critic who counts, or how the strong man stumbled, or whether the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives vali

I went to a Grateful Dead Concert and they played for SEVEN hours. Great song.

Blessed are the young, for they shall inherit the national debt.

Any road followed to its end leads precisely nowhere. Climb the mountain just a little to test it's a mountain. From the top of the mountain, you cannot see the mountain.

All kings is mostly rapscallions.

The clergy successfully preached the doctrines of patience and pusillanimity; the active virtues of society were discouraged; and the last remains of a military spirit were buried in the cloister: a large portion of public and private wealth was cons

Audacity, and again, audacity, and always audacity.

A furore Normanorum libera nos, O Domine! [From the fury of the norsemen deliver us, O Lord!]

Let your conscience be your guide.

I know on which side my bread is buttered.

But you shall not escape my iambics.

One learns to itch where one can scratch.

[He] took me into his library and showed me his books, of which he had a complete set.

Catholicism has changed tremendously in the recent years. Now when Communion is served there is also a salad bar.

Airplanes are interesting toys but of no military value.

Ours is a world of nuclear giants and ethical infants.

He that composes himself is wiser than he that composes a book.

Two wrongs are only the beginning.

Necessity hath no law.

Diplomacy is about surviving until the next century. Politics is about surviving until Friday afternoon.

Column 1 Column 2 Column 3 0. integrated 0. management 0. options 1. total 1. organizational 1. flexibility 2. systematized 2. monitored 2. capability 3. parallel 3. reciprocal 3. mobility 4. functional 4. digital 4. programming 5. re

Do you know the difference between education and experience? Education is what you get when you read the fine print; experience is what you get when you don't.

Life being what it is, one dreams of revenge.

I think we're in trouble.

My dear People. My dear Bagginses and Boffins, and my dear Tooks and Brandybucks, and Grubbs, and Chubbs, and Burrowses, and Hornblowers, and Bolgers, Bracegirdles, Goodbodies, Brockhouses and Proudfoots. Also my good Sackville Bagginses that I w

He draweth out the thread of his verbosity finer than the staple of his argument.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm in my right mind. Then it passes off and I'm as intelligent as ever.

Christianity might be a good thing if anyone ever tried it.

The smallest worm will turn being trodden on.

... "fire" does not matter, "earth" and "air" and "water" do not matter. "I" do not matter. No word matters. But man forgets reality and remembers words. The more words he remembers, the cleverer do his fellows esteem him. He looks upon the great

The two party system ... is a triumph of the dialectic. It showed that two could be one and one could be two and had probably been fabricated by Hegel for the American market on a subcontract from General Dynamics.

The rule is, jam to-morrow and jam yesterday, but never jam today.

The rights you have are the rights given you by this Committee [the House Un-American Activities Committee]. We will determine what rights you have and what rights you have not got.

I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark.

If reporters don't know that truth is plural, they ought to be lawyers.

The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax.

One, with God, is always a majority, but many a martyr has been burned at the stake while the votes were being counted.

... but as records of courts and justice are admissible, it can easily be proved that powerful and malevolent magicians once existed and were a scourge to mankind. The evidence (including confession) upon which certain women were convicted of witch

If someone had told me I would be Pope one day, I would have studied harder.

L'hazard ne favorise que l'esprit prepare.

Ignorance is the Mother of Devotion.

If Christianity was morality, Socrates would be the Saviour.

Those who do things in a noble spirit of self-sacrifice are to be avoided at all costs.

Imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality.

I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn't know.

Go ahead... make my day.

A diplomat is a person who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

God gave man two ears and one tongue so that we listen twice as much as we speak.

You may have heard that a dean is to faculty as a hydrant is to a dog.

"Well, it's garish, ugly, and derelicts have used it for a toilet. The rides are dilapidated to the point of being lethal, and could easily maim or kill innocent little children." "Oh, so you don't like it?" "Don't like it? I'm CRAZY for it."

You can't underestimate the power of fear.

There is no ox so dumb as the orthodox.

It is often the case that the man who can't tell a lie thinks he is the best judge of one.

Hain't we got all the fools in town on our side? And hain't that a big enough majority in any town?

I'm not a lovable man.

It is easier to be a "humanitarian" than to render your own country its proper due; it is easier to be a "patriot" than to make your community a better place to live in; it is easier to be a "civic leader" than to treat your own family with loving un

When I saw a sign on the freeway that said, "Los Angeles 445 miles," I said to myself, "I've got to get out of this lane."

You know it's going to be a long day when you get up, shave and shower, start to get dressed and your shoes are still warm.

The only thing that experience teaches us is that experience teaches us nothing.

The ratio of literacy to illiteracy is a constant, but nowadays the illiterates can read.

The goys have proven the following theorem...

You know how to win a victory, Hannibal, but not how to use it.

May you live in uninteresting times.

"Given the choice between accomplishing something and just lying around, I'd rather lie around. No contest."

The politician is someone who deals in man's problems of adjustment. To ask a politician to lead us is to ask the tail of a dog to lead the dog.

It is convenient that there be gods, and, as it is convenient, let us believe there are.

It is either through the influence of narcotic potions, of which all primitive peoples and races speak in hymns, or through the powerful approach of spring, penetrating with joy all of nature, that those Dionysian stirrings arise, which in their int

I'll burn my books.

I value kindness to human beings first of all, and kindness to animals. I don't respect the law; I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger, the food cheaper, and old men

... difference of opinion is advantagious in religion. The several sects perform the office of a common censor morum over each other. Is uniformity attainable? Millions of innocent men, women, and children, since the introduction of Christianity,

Having the fewest wants, I am nearest to the gods.

I am myself plus my circumstance, and if I do not save it, I cannot save myself.

I went to my mother and told her I intended to commence a different life. I asked for and obtained her blessing and at once commenced the career of a robber.

"What's this? Trix? Aunt! Trix? You? You're after the prize! What is it?" He picked up the box and studied the back. "A glow-in-the-dark squid! Have you got it out of there yet?" He tilted the box, angling the little colored balls of cereal

Or you or I must yield up his life to Ahrimanes. I would rather it were you. I should have no hesitation in sacrificing my own life to spare yours, but we take stock next week, and it would not be fair on the company.

Someday we'll look back on this moment and plow into a parked car.

To think contrary to one's era is heroism. But to speak against it is madness.

Ten persons who speak make more noise than ten thousand who are silent.

Baseball is a skilled game. It's America's game - it, and high taxes.

We rarely find anyone who can say he has lived a happy life, and who, content with his life, can retire from the world like a satisfied guest.

A dead man cannot bite.

I DON'T THINK I'M ALONE when I say I'd like to see more and more planets fall under the ruthless domination of our solar system.

I didn't do it! Nobody saw me do it! Can't prove anything!

You see things; and you say "Why?" But I dream things that never were; and I say "Why not?"

You or I must yield up his life to Ahrimanes. I would rather it were you. I should have no hesitation in sacrificing my own life to spare yours, but we take stock next week, and it would not be fair on the company.

Remember that there is an outside world to see and enjoy.