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Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. My advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.

Eban Abba

The absurd is the essential concept and the first truth.

Eddie Cochran

By the middle 1880's, practically all the roads except those in the South, were of the present standard gauge. The southern roads were still five feet between rails. It was decided to change the gauge of all southern roads to standard, in one day

Edison Thomas Alva

"I only touch base with reality on an as-needed basis!"

Edman Irwin

Art is a jealous mistress.

Edward A. Murphy

Rome was not built in one day.

Edwards-Duff Ann

Practice yourself what you preach.

Edwin Meese

If while you are in school, there is a shortage of qualified personnel in a particular field, then by the time you graduate with the necessary qualifications, that field's employment market is glutted.

Efrain Rios Montt

It doesn't matter whether you win or lose

Einstein Albert

A rolling stone gathers no moss.

Einstein Albert

If you are shooting under 80 you are neglecting your business; over 80 you are neglecting your golf.

Einstein Albert

I will make you shorter by the head.

Einstein Albert

Another day, another dollar.

Einstein Albert

I was part of that strange race of people aptly described as spending their lives doing things they detest to make money they don't want to buy things they don't need to impress people they dislike.

Einstein Albert

Nothing will dispel enthusiasm like a small admission fee.

Einstein Albert

Don't tell me how hard you work. Tell me how much you get done.

Einstein Albert

Let others praise ancient times; I am glad I was born in these.

Einstein Albert

A fake fortuneteller can be tolerated. But an authentic soothsayer should be shot on sight. Cassandra did not get half the kicking around she deserved.

Einstein. A.

If you have to ask what jazz is, you'll never know.

Eisenhower Dwight

Nitwit ideas are for emergencies. You use them when you've got nothing else to try. If they work, they go in the Book. Otherwise you follow the Book, which is largely a collection of nitwit ideas that worked.

Eisenhower Dwight D.

Being a woman is a terribly difficult trade, since it consists principally of dealings with men.

Eisenhower Dwight D.

You k'n hide de fier, but w'at you gwine do wid de smoke?

Eisenhower Dwight D.

The chief enemy of creativity is "good" sense

Eisenhower Dwight D.

The pollution's at that awkward stage. Too thick to navigate and too thin to cultivate.

Eisenhower Dwight

When the blind lead the blind they will both fall over the cliff.

Elaine Stewart

Dying is easy. Comedy is difficult.

Elder Pliny the

The cart has no place where a fifth wheel could be used.

Eliot George

God helps them that help themselves.

Eliot George

"You've got to have a gimmick if your band sucks."

Eliot T.S.

The best you get is an even break.

Eliot T.S.

Darth Vader! Only you would be so bold!

Eliot T.S.

Would it help if I got out and pushed?

Eliot T.Sessay

Time is the most valuable thing a man can spend.

Elizabeth I

One of your most ancient writers, a historian named Herodotus, tells of a thief who was to be executed. As he was taken away he made a bargain with the king: in one year he would teach the king's favorite horse to sing hymns. The other prisoners wa

Elizabeth John Greenway

If you want divine justice, die.


Never look a gift horse in the mouth.

Ellis Havelock

Now, you might ask, "How do I get one of those complete home tool sets for under $4?" An excellent question. Go to one of those really cheap discount stores where they sell plastic furniture in colors visible from the planet Neptune and where they

Ellis Havelock

"Necessity is the mother of invention" is a silly proverb. "Necessity is the mother of futile dodges" is much nearer the truth.

Ellis Nancy

The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence.

Ellison Harlan

For every bloke who makes his mark, there's half a dozen waiting to rub it out.

Ellison Harlan

Set the cart before the horse.

Elman Jeff

It is something to be able to paint a particular picture, or to carve a statue, and so to make a few objects beautiful; but it is far more glorious to carve and paint the very atmosphere and medium through which we look, which morally we can do. T

Emers Ralph Waldo

The coast was clear.

Emers Ralph Waldo

Judges, as a class, display, in the matter of arranging alimony, that reckless generosity which is found only in men who are giving away someone else's cash.


I had another dream the other day about music critics. They were small and rodent-like with padlocked ears, as if they had stepped out of a painting by Goya.


The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.

Emerson Ralph Waldo

A beginning is the time for taking the most delicate care that balances are correct.

Emerson Ralph Waldo

When a fellow says, "It ain't the money but the principle of the thing," it's the money.

Emerson Ralph Waldo

Who dat who say "who dat" when I say "who dat"?

Emerson Ralph Waldo

Turn the other cheek.

Emerson Ralph Waldo

Absolutum obsoletum. (If it works, it's out of date.)

Emerson Ralph Waldo

The optimist thinks that this is the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist knows it.

Emerson Ralph Waldo

Education and religion are two things not regulated by supply and demand. The less of either the people have, the less they want.

Emerson Ralph Waldo

It is your concern when your neighbor's wall is on fire.

Emerson Ralph Waldo

There is no fool to the old fool.

Emerson Ralph Waldo

Modern art is what happens when painters stop looking at girls and persuade themselves that they have a better idea.

Emerson Ralph Waldo

In my experience, if you have to keep the lavatory door shut by extending your left leg, it's modern architecture.

Emerson Ralph Waldo

Producers seem to be so prejudiced against actors who've had no training. And there's no reason for it. So what if I didn't attend the Royal Academy for twelve years? I'm still a professional trying to be the best actress I can. Why doesn't anyone

Emmons Marguerite

Getting into trouble is easy.

Englan Mark Twain on New

Events are not affected, they develop.

Ennius Quintus

Nothing is so firmly believed as that which we least know.

Ennius Quintus

No problem is so formidable that you can't just walk away from it.

Enou R.A. Heinlein

A committee takes root and grows, it flowers, wilts and dies, scattering the seed from which other committees will bloom.

Enoug Lazarus Long

No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.

Ephron Nora

Term, holidays, term, holidays, till we leave school, and then work, work, work till we die.


The use of money is all the advantage there is to having money.

Epstein M.D.

Kindness is the beginning of cruelty.

Erasmus Desiderius

A woman occasionally is quite a serviceable substitute for masturbation. It takes an abundance of imagination, to be sure.

Erica Jong

If we spoke a different language, we would perceive a somewhat different world.

Erlich Paul

Necessity hath no law.

Errol Flynn

Prizes are for children.

Ertz Susan

TV is chewing gum for the eyes.


Laws are like sausages. It's better not to see them being made.

Escher M.C.

Remembering is for those who have forgotten.

Esquire Jun

Competence, like truth, beauty, and contact lenses, is in the eye of the beholder.

Estard Townsperson in

Too many people are thinking of security instead of opportunity. They seem more afraid of life than death.

Estes James

If happiness is in your destiny, you need not be in a hurry.

Estienne Henri

Never appeal to a man's "better nature." He may not have one. Invoking his self-interest gives you more leverage.


All of the true things I am about to tell you are shameless lies.


Pity the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.


The human brain is a wonderful thing. It starts working the moment you are born, and never stops until you stand up to speak in public.


...He who laughs does not believe in what he laughs at, but neither does he hate it. Therefore, laughing at evil means not preparing oneself to combat it, and laughing at good means denying the power through which good is self-propagating.

Evans Bergan

A prediction is worth twenty explanations.

Examiner Watchman

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"... gentlemen do not read each other's mail."
Stimson Henry

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