I accept chaos. I am not sure whether it accepts me. I know some people are terrified of the bomb. But then some people are terrified to be seen carrying a modern screen magazine. Experience teaches us that silence terrifies people the most.

Honesty's the best policy.

She cried, and the judge wiped her tears with my checkbook.

A fool's brain digests philosophy into folly, science into superstition, and art into pedantry. Hence University education.

Fortune Documents the Great Legal Decisions: We think that we may take judicial notice of the fact that the term "bitch" may imply some feeling of endearment when applied to a female of the canine species but that it is seldom, if ever, so used whe

If you are of the opinion that the contemplation of suicide is sufficient evidence of a poetic nature, do not forget that actions speak louder than words.

Democracy is a device that insures we shall be governed no better than we deserve.

Virtue is not left to stand alone. He who practices it will have neighbors.

Why does a hearse horse snicker, hauling a lawyer away?

The most delightful day after the one on which you buy a cottage in the country is the one on which you resell it.

The scum also rises.

"Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away".

I dote on his very absence.

A little inaccuracy sometimes saves tons of explanation.

As long as war is regarded as wicked, it will always have its fascination. When it is looked upon as vulgar, it will cease to be popular.

If we can ever make red tape nutritional, we can feed the world.

Hell is empty and all the devils are here.

Sometimes a man who deserves to be looked down upon because he is a fool is despised only because he is a lawyer.

Divorce is a game played by lawyers.

Let sleeping dogs lie.

Plumbing is one of the easier of do-it-yourself activities, requiring only a few simple tools and a willingness to stick your arm into a clogged toilet. In fact, you can solve many home plumbing problems, such as annoying faucet drip, merely by tur

Suspicion always haunts the guilty mind.

When a man knows he is to be hanged in a fortnight, it concentrates his mind wonderfully.

There's no such thing as a free lunch.

Educational television should be absolutely forbidden. It can only lead to unreasonable disappointment when your child discovers that the letters of the alphabet do not leap up out of books and dance around with royal-blue chickens.

"You little (such a one who, while wearing a copper nose ring, stands in a footbath atop Mount Raruaruaha during a heavy thunderstorm and shouts that Alohura, Goddess of Lightning, has the facial features of a diseased uloruaha root)!"

People who fight fire with fire usually end up with ashes.

Another day, another dollar.

The ideal voice for radio may be defined as showing no substance, no sex, no owner, and a message of importance for every housewife.

In the future, there will be fewer but better Russians.

So far as we are human, what we do must be either evil or good: so far as we do evil or good, we are human: and it is better, in a paradoxical way, to do evil than to do nothing: at least we exist.

We have art that we do not die of the truth.

It is the business of little minds to shrink.

Ben, why didn't you tell me?

Life is a series of rude awakenings.

Television is now so desperately hungry for material that it is scraping the top of the barrel.

The life which is unexamined is not worth living.

When a fellow says, "It ain't the money but the principle of the thing," it's the money.

Dying is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down.

Tact in audacity is knowing how far you can go without going too far.

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.

"After I asked him what he meant, he replied that freedom consisted of the unimpeded right to get rich, to use his ability, no matter what the cost to others, to win advancement."

It is indeed desirable to be well descended, but the glory belongs to our ancestors.

The Priest's grey nimbus in a niche where he dressed discreetly. I will not sleep here tonight. Home also I cannot go. A voice, sweetened and sustained, called to him from the sea. Turning the curve he waved his hand. A sleek brown head, a seal's,

When more and more people are thrown out of work, unemployment results.

Modern art is what happens when painters stop looking at girls and persuade themselves that they have a better idea.

Anything that is worth doing has been done frequently. Things hitherto undone should be given, I suspect, a wide berth.

Our swords shall play the orators for us.

It is easier to make a saint out of a libertine than out of a prig.

We all declare for liberty, but in using the same word we do not all mean the same thing.

If you mess with a thing long enough, it'll break.

All kings is mostly rapscallions.

Since we have to speak well of the dead, let's knock them while they're alive.

Optimism is the content of small men in high places.

The means-and-ends moralists, or non-doers, always end up on their ends without any means.

The Least Successful Collector Betsy Baker played a central role in the history of collecting. She was employed as a servant in the house of John Warburton (1682-1759) who had amassed a fine collection of 58 first edition plays, including most of t

Take care of the luxuries and the necessities will take care of themselves.

"I only touch base with reality on an as-needed basis!"

We know next to nothing about virtually everything. It is not necessary to know the origin of the universe; it is necessary to want to know. Civilization depends not on any particular knowledge, but on the disposition to crave knowledge.

When I reflect upon the number of disagreeable people who I know who have gone to a better world, I am moved to lead a different life.

Anyone who has had a bull by the tail knows five or six more things than someone who hasn't.

Tallulah Bankhead barged down the Nile last night as Cleopatra and sank.

If you don't go to other men's funerals they won't go to yours.

Every man who has reached even his intellectual teens begins to suspect that life is no farce; that it is not genteel comedy even; that it flowers and fructifies on the contrary out of the profoundest tragic depths of the essential death in which its

A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain.

"Whom are you?" said he, for he had been to night school.

My experience with government is when things are non-controversial, beautifully co-ordinated and all the rest, it must be that not much is going on.

People need good lies. There are too many bad ones.

The college graduate is presented with a sheepskin to cover his intellectual nakedness.

It is the nature of extreme self-lovers, as they will set an house on fire, and it were but to roast their eggs.

It has been observed that one's nose is never so happy as when it is thrust into the affairs of another, from which some physiologists have drawn the inference that the nose is devoid of the sense of smell.

Atlee is a very modest man. And with reason.

Campus sidewalks never exist as the straightest line between two points.

Once he had one leg in the White House and the nation trembled under his roars. Now he is a tinpot pope in the Coca-Cola belt and a brother to the forlorn pastors who belabor halfwits in galvanized iron tabernacles behind the railroad yards."

Generally speaking, the Way of the warrior is resolute acceptance of death.

We are governed not by armies and police but by ideas.

The streets were dark with something more than night.

Necessity hath no law.

If Jesus Christ were to come today, people would not even crucify him. They would ask him to dinner, and hear what he had to say, and make fun of it.

There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy.

How comes it to pass, then, that we appear such cowards in reasoning, and are so afraid to stand the test of ridicule?

"Not Hercules could have knock'd out his brains, for he had none."

I never cheated an honest man, only rascals. They wanted something for nothing. I gave them nothing for something.