... so long as the people do not care to exercise their freedom, those who wish to tyrranize will do so; for tyrants are active and ardent, and will devote themselves in the name of any number of gods, religious and otherwise, to put shackles upon sl

There is a good deal of solemn cant about the common interests of capital and labour. As matters stand, their only common interest is that of cutting each other's throat.

It is now 10 p.m. Do you know where Henry Kissinger is?

It's no surprise that things are so screwed up: everyone that knows how to run a government is either driving taxicabs or cutting hair.

Writing about music is like dancing about architecture.

God is the tangential point between zero and infinity.

Doctors and lawyers must go to school for years and years, often with little sleep and with great sacrifice to their first wives.

An actor's a guy who if you ain't talkin' about him, ain't listening.

It is easier to resist at the beginning than at the end.

The shortest distance between two points is under construction.

Everything is possible. Pass the word.

The avoidance of taxes is the only intellectual pursuit that carries any reward.

A priest asked: What is Fate, Master? And the Master answered: It is that which gives a beast of burden its reason for existence. It is that which men in former times had to bear upon their backs. It is that which has caused nations to build bywa

The past always looks better than it was. It's only pleasant because it isn't here.

If I were a grave-digger or even a hangman, there are some people I could work for with a great deal of enjoyment.

Out of sight is out of mind.

In Hollywood, if you don't have happiness, you send out for it.

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve immortality through not dying.

As failures go, attempting to recall the past is like trying to grasp the meaning of existence. Both make one feel like a baby clutching at a basketball: one's palms keep sliding off.

"Necessity is the mother of invention" is a silly proverb. "Necessity is the mother of futile dodges" is much nearer the truth.

Brahma said: Well, after hearing ten thousand explanations, a fool is no wiser. But an intelligent man needs only two thousand five hundred.

Remark of Dr. Baldwin's concerning upstarts: We don't care to eat toadstools that think they are truffles.

The polite thing to do has always been to address people as they wish to be addressed, to treat them in a way they think dignified. But it is equally important to accept and tolerate different standards of courtesy, not expecting everyone else to ad

The good Christian should beware of mathematicians and all those who make empty prophecies. The danger already exists that mathematicians have made a covenant with the devil to darken the spirit and confine man in the bonds of Hell.

"World conquerors sometimes become fools, but fools never become world conquerors."

"Benson, you are so free of the ravages of intelligence"

"We're not talking about the same thing," he said. "For you the world is weird because if you're not bored with it you're at odds with it. For me the world is weird because it is stupendous, awesome, mysterious, unfathomable; my interest has been to

A good scapegoat is hard to find. A guilty conscience is the mother of invention.

Yet creeds mean very little, Coth answered the dark god, still speaking almost gently. The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this is true.

The Israelis are the Doberman pinschers of the Middle East. They treat the Arabs like postmen.

Praise the sea; on shore remain.

For if there is a sin against life, it consists perhaps not so much in despairing of life as in hoping for another life and in eluding the implacable grandeur of this life.

I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark.

When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President. Now I'm beginning to believe it.

Innovation is hard to schedule.

An investment in knowledge always pays the best interest.

There is no character, howsoever good and fine, but it can be destroyed by ridicule, howsoever poor and witless. Observe the ass, for instance: his character is about perfect, he is the choicest spirit among all the humbler animals, yet see what rid

It is up to us to produce better-quality movies.

Whatever is not nailed down is mine. Whatever I can pry up is not nailed down.

It is either through the influence of narcotic potions, of which all primitive peoples and races speak in hymns, or through the powerful approach of spring, penetrating with joy all of nature, that those Dionysian stirrings arise, which in their int

Just as most issues are seldom black or white, so are most good solutions seldom black or white. Beware of the solution that requires one side to be totally the loser and the other side to be totally the winner. The reason there are two sides to be

People who develop the habit of thinking of themselves as world citizens are fulfilling the first requirement of sanity in our time.

Good government never depends upon laws, but upon the personal qualities of those who govern. The machinery of government is always subordinate to the will of those who administer that machinery. The most important element of government, therefore,

A racially integrated community is a chronological term timed from the entrance of the first black family to the exit of the last white family.

A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain.

Whatever occurs from love is always beyond good and evil.

Men are superior to women.

Sometimes, too long is too long.

Wisdom is knowing what to do with what you know.

You don't move to Edina, you achieve Edina.

Tallulah Bankhead barged down the Nile last night as Cleopatra and sank.

What soon grows old? Gratitude.

Prosperity makes friends, adversity tries them.

Were there no women, men might live like gods.

One big pile is better than two little piles.

When the going gets tough, everyone leaves.

In childhood a woman must be subject to her father; in youth to her husband; when her husband is dead, to her sons. A woman must never be free of subjugation.

The road to Hades is easy to travel.

The less a statesman amounts to, the more he loves the flag.

Truth never comes into the world but like a bastard, to the ignominy of him that brought her birth.

Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.

We Americans, we're a simple people... but piss us off, and we'll bomb your cities.

... but as records of courts and justice are admissible, it can easily be proved that powerful and malevolent magicians once existed and were a scourge to mankind. The evidence (including confession) upon which certain women were convicted of witch

"I'd like to start a new religion. One that doesn't use a dead young man as its logo."

Know what I hate most? Rhetorical questions.

The optimum committee has no members.

Why does a hearse horse snicker, hauling a lawyer away?

Best Mistakes In Films In his "Filmgoer's Companion", Mr. Leslie Halliwell helpfully lists four of the cinema's greatest moments which you should get to see if at all possible. In "Carmen Jones", the camera tracks with Dorothy Dandridge down a st

Art is anything you can get away with.

Talking about music is like dancing about architecture.

Unquestionably, there is progress. The average American now pays out twice as much in taxes as he formerly got in wages.

Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice. In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians called it "Christmas" and went to

"Ubi non accusator, ibi non judex." (Where there is no police, there is no speed limit.)

I have ways of making money that you know nothing of.

Moderation is a fatal thing. Nothing succeeds like excess.

Who goeth a-borrowing goeth a-sorrowing.

According to my best recollection, I don't remember.

Some men are heterosexual, and some are bisexual, and some men don't think about sex at all... they become lawyers.

When neither their poverty nor their honor is touched, the majority of men live content.

Nothing succeeds like the appearance of success.

Imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality.

All art is but imitation of nature.

God is really only another artist. He invented the giraffe, the elephant and the cat. He has no real style, He just goes on trying other things.

In every country and every age, the priest has been hostile to Liberty.

The graveyards are full of indispensable men.

The only promotion rules I can think of are that a sense of shame is to be avoided at all costs and there is never any reason for a hustler to be less cunning than more virtuous men. Oh yes ... whenever you think you've got something really great, a

Plastic... Aluminum... These are the inheritors of the Universe! Flesh and Blood have had their day... and that day is past!

What passes for optimism is most often the effect of an intellectual error.

Ask not for whom the Bell tolls, and you will pay only the station-to-station rate.

Mind! I don't mean to say that I know, of my own knowledge, what there is particularly dead about a door-nail. I might have been inclined, myself, to regard a coffin-nail as the deadest piece of ironmongery in the trade. But the wisdom of our ances

"Elves and Dragons!" I says to him. "Cabbages and potatoes are better for you and me."

"I gained nothing at all from Supreme Enlightenment, and for that very reason it is called Supreme Enlightenment."

You k'n hide de fier, but w'at you gwine do wid de smoke?

I consider a new device or technology to have been culturally accepted when it has been used to commit a murder.

In the plot, people came to the land; the land loved them; they worked and struggled and had lots of children. There was a Frenchman who talked funny and a greenhorn from England who was a fancy-pants but when it came to the crunch he was all courag

If a man stay away from his wife for seven years, the law presumes the separation to have killed him; yet according to our daily experience, it might well prolong his life.

Divorce is a game played by lawyers.

Something's rotten in the state of Denmark.

A man is known by the company he organizes.

The danger is not that a particular class is unfit to govern. Every class is unfit to govern.

There is no doubt that my lawyer is honest. For example, when he filed his income tax return last year, he declared half of his salary as 'unearned income.'

The use of money is all the advantage there is to having money.

Someone did a study of the three most-often-heard phrases in New York City. One is "Hey, taxi." Two is, "What train do I take to get to Bloomingdale's?" And three is, "Don't worry. It's just a flesh wound."

Do not despair of life. You have no doubt force enough to overcome your obstacles. Think of the fox prowling through wood and field in a winter night for something to satisfy his hunger. Notwithstanding cold and hounds and traps, his race survives

The race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, but that's the way to bet.

It is through symbols that man consciously or unconsciously lives, works and has his being.

Luck can't last a lifetime, unless you die young.

Ah, but a man's grasp should exceed his reach, Or what's a heaven for ?

If you don't count some of Jehovah's injunctions, there are no humorists in the Bible.

You see, I consider that a man's brain originally is like a little empty attic, and you have to stock it with such furniture as you choose. A fool takes in all the lumber of every sort he comes across, so that the knowledge which might be useful to

The secret source of humor is not joy but sorrow; there is no humor in Heaven.

The Worst Jury A murder trial at Manitoba in February 1978 was well advanced, when one juror revealed that he was completely deaf and did not have the remotest clue what was happening. The judge, Mr. Justice Solomon, asked him if he had heard any

The divinity of Jesus is made a convenient cover for absurdity. Nowhere in the Gospels do we find a precept for Creeds, Confessions, Oaths, Doctrines, and whole carloads of other foolish trumpery that we find in Christianity.

Practice yourself what you preach.