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Delay not, Caesar. Read it instantly.

Fadiman Clifton


The public demands certainties; it must be told definitely and a bit raucously that this is true and that is false. But there are no certainties.

Fadiman Clifton


The use of money is all the advantage there is to having money.

Fadiman Clifton


To do two things at once is to do neither.

Fadiman Clifton


Catholicism has changed tremendously in the recent years. Now when Communion is served there is also a salad bar.

Far Kilgore Trout


Fast ship? You mean you've never heard of the Millennium Falcon?

Faulkner William


The Least Successful Equal Pay Advertisement In 1976 the European Economic Community pointed out to the Irish Government that it had not yet implemented the agreed sex equality legislation. The Dublin Government immediately advertised for an equal

Faulkner William


The world's great men have not commonly been great scholars, nor its great scholars great men.

Fawcett-Majors Farrah


When I have one foot in the grave I will tell the truth about women. I shall tell it, jump into my coffin, pull the lid over me, and say, "Do what you like now."

Fee Elizabeth


So you think that money is the root of all evil. Have you ever asked what is the root of money?

Feibleman James


What we do not understand we do not possess.

Feiffer J.


That government is best which governs least.

Feiffer J.


To be patriotic, hate all nations but your own; to be religious, all sects but your own; to be moral, all pretenses but your own.

Feirstein Bruce


Blessed are the young, for they shall inherit the national debt.

Fenelon Francois


Try not to have a good time ... This is supposed to be educational.

Feodor Dostoevsky


Public use of any portable music system is a virtually guaranteed indicator of sociopathic tendencies.

Ferdinand Marechal Foch


To err is human, to repent, divine, to persist, devilish.

Fiebig Jim


The Almighty in His infinite wisdom did not see fit to create Frenchmen in the image of Englishmen.

Fields W.C.


Its name is Public Opinion. It is held in reverence. It settles everything. Some think it is the voice of God.

Fields W.C.


Academic politics is the most vicious and bitter form of politics, because the stakes are so low.

Fields W.C.


Producers seem to be so prejudiced against actors who've had no training. And there's no reason for it. So what if I didn't attend the Royal Academy for twelve years? I'm still a professional trying to be the best actress I can. Why doesn't anyone

Fields W.C.


I never cheated an honest man, only rascals. They wanted something for nothing. I gave them nothing for something.

Finley J.H.


Would ye both eat your cake and have your cake?

Finley Peter Dunne


Consider well the proportions of things. It is better to be a young June-bug than an old bird of paradise.

Fisher John


Objectivity is to a newspaper what virtue is to a woman.

Fishhawk Prof. Cosmo


Rebellion lay in his way, and he found it.

Fitch G.


In childhood a woman must be subject to her father; in youth to her husband; when her husband is dead, to her sons. A woman must never be free of subjugation.

Fitzgera F. Scott


Democracy is a form of government that substitutes election by the incompetent many for appointment by the corrupt few.

Fitzgera F. Scott


Darth Vader! Only you would be so bold!

Fitzgerald F. Scott


Too many people are thinking of security instead of opportunity. They seem more afraid of life than death.

Flagg Reuben


were found to be wearing neckwear that was tighter than their neck circumference. The visual discrimination of the 22 subjects was evaluated using a critical flicker frequency (CFF) test. Results of the CFF test indicated that tight neckwear signifi

Flaubert


The first rule of all intelligent tinkering is to keep all the parts.

Florio John


To have died once is enough.

Floyd Mengot


If you laid all of our laws end to end, there would be no end.

Flynn Errol


If I were a grave-digger or even a hangman, there are some people I could work for with a great deal of enjoyment.

Foote Samuel


If you lose a son you can always get another, but there's only one Maltese Falcon.

Ford Henry


When alerted to an intrusion by tinkling glass or otherwise, 1) Calm yourself 2) Identify the intruder 3) If hostile, kill him. Step number 3 is of particular importance. If you leave the guy alive out of misguided softheartedness, he will repay y

Foreman John


I wish a robot would get elected president. That way, when he came to town, we could all take a shot at him and not feel too bad.

Forster E.M.


Long were the days of pain I have spent within its walls, and long were the nights of aloneness; and who can depart from his pain and his aloneness without regret?

Forward R.L.


When in doubt, tell the truth.

Fosdick Harry Emerson


Nothing endures but change.

Fowler Gene


She say, Miss Colie, You better hush. God might hear you. Let 'im hear me, I say. If he ever listened to poor colored women the world would be a different place, I can tell you.

Foxx Redd


If a shameless woman expects to be defiled and then dies of her fierce love because you do not consent, will chastity also be homicide?

Frampton Peter


It shall be unlawful for any suspicious person to be within the municipality.

Fran Lebowitz


All other things being equal, a bald man cannot be elected President of the United States.

Fran Lebowitz


The Worst Jury A murder trial at Manitoba in February 1978 was well advanced, when one juror revealed that he was completely deaf and did not have the remotest clue what was happening. The judge, Mr. Justice Solomon, asked him if he had heard any

Fran Lebowitz


The greatest productive force is human selfishness.

France Anatole


Recently deceased blues guitarist Stevie Ray Vaughan "comes to" after his death. He sees Jimi Hendrix sitting next to him, tuning his guitar. "Holy cow," he thinks to himself, "this guy is my idol." Over at the microphone, about to sing, are Jim Mo

France Anatole


Remembering is for those who have forgotten.

France Anatole


Superstition, idolatry, and hypocrisy have ample wages, but truth goes a-begging.

France Anatole


It is a wise father that knows his own child.

France Anatole


Gauls! We have nothing to fear; except perhaps that the sky may fall on our heads tomorrow. But as we all know, tomorrow never comes!!

France Anatole


I have already given two cousins to the war and I stand ready to sacrifice my wife's brother.

France Anatole


I like to believe that people in the long run are going to do more to promote peace than our governments. Indeed, I think that people want peace so much that one of these days governments had better get out of the way and let them have it.

France Anatole


A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the word you first thought of.

Franci KFOG San


It looks like it's up to me to save our skins. Get into that garbage chute, flyboy!

Francis Brendan


The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in the mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function.

Francis


XI: If the Earth could be made to rotate twice as fast, managers would get twice as much done. If the Earth could be made to rotate twenty times as fast, everyone else would get twice as much done since all the managers would fly off. XII: I

Francis


Before he became a hermit, Zarathud was a young Priest, and took great delight in making fools of his opponents in front of his followers. One day Zarathud took his students to a pleasant pasture and there he confronted The Sacred Chao while She

Francisc Colin Bowles San


Language is a virus from another planet.

Frank Ann


What sane person could live in this world and not be crazy?

Frank Costello


Set the cart before the horse.

Frank Costello


May you live in uninteresting times.

Frank Herbert


Music in the soul can be heard by the universe.

Frank Herbert


XLI: The more one produces, the less one gets. XLII: Simple systems are not feasible because they require infinite testing. XLIII: Hardware works best when it matters the least. XLIV: Aircraft flight in the 21st century will always be in a we

Frank Herbert


For some reason a glaze passes over people's faces when you say "Canada". Maybe we should invade South Dakota or something.

Frank Herbert


A dead man cannot bite.

Franklin B.


Divorce is a game played by lawyers.

Franklin B.


The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers.

Franklin B.


Hain't we got all the fools in town on our side? And hain't that a big enough majority in any town?

Franklin B.


Plumbing is one of the easier of do-it-yourself activities, requiring only a few simple tools and a willingness to stick your arm into a clogged toilet. In fact, you can solve many home plumbing problems, such as annoying faucet drip, merely by tur

Franklin B.


There is no doubt that my lawyer is honest. For example, when he filed his income tax return last year, he declared half of his salary as 'unearned income.'

Franklin B.


Or you or I must yield up his life to Ahrimanes. I would rather it were you. I should have no hesitation in sacrificing my own life to spare yours, but we take stock next week, and it would not be fair on the company.

Franklin Ben


Never keep up with the Joneses. Drag them down to your level.

Franklin Ben


A woman's a woman until the day she dies, but a man's only a man as long as he can.

Franklin Ben


If you took all of the grains of sand in the world, and lined them up end to end in a row, you'd be working for the government!

Franklin Benjamin


Look before you leap.

Franklin Benjamin


No man's ambition has a right to stand in the way of performing a simple act of justice.

Franklin Benjamin


I DON'T THINK I'M ALONE when I say I'd like to see more and more planets fall under the ruthless domination of our solar system.

Franklin Benjamin


Arrakis teaches the attitude of the knife - chopping off what's incomplete and saying: "Now it's complete because it's ended here."

Franklin Benjamin


Patience is the best remedy for every trouble.

Franklin Benjamin


My only love sprung from my only hate! Too early seen unknown, and known too late!

Franklin Benjamin


Then, gently touching my face, she hesitated for a moment as her incredible eyes poured forth into mine love, joy, pain, tragedy, acceptance, and peace. "'Bye for now," she said warmly.

Franklin Benjamin


Certainly the game is rigged. Don't let that stop you; if you don't bet, you can't win.

Franklin Benjamin


Sic transit gloria mundi. [So passes away the glory of this world.]

Franklin Benjamin


The Worst Car Hire Service When David Schwartz left university in 1972, he set up Rent-a-wreck as a joke. Being a natural prankster, he acquired a fleet of beat-up shabby, wreckages waiting for the scrap heap in California. He put on a cap and lo

Fratianno


We know next to nothing about virtually everything. It is not necessary to know the origin of the universe; it is necessary to want to know. Civilization depends not on any particular knowledge, but on the disposition to crave knowledge.

Fratianno


Alexander Hamilton started the U.S. Treasury with nothing - and that was the closest our country has ever been to being even.

Fratianno


He that breaks a thing to find out what it is has left the path of wisdom.

Fred Allen


Progress was all right. Only it went on too long.

Freud Sigmund


Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig.

Freud Sigmund


The Law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich, as well as the poor, to sleep under the bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread.

Friedman Milton


In the plot, people came to the land; the land loved them; they worked and struggled and had lots of children. There was a Frenchman who talked funny and a greenhorn from England who was a fancy-pants but when it came to the crunch he was all courag

Friendman Milton


Sorry 'bout that sweat, honey. That's just holy water.

Friendman Milton


Just as most issues are seldom black or white, so are most good solutions seldom black or white. Beware of the solution that requires one side to be totally the loser and the other side to be totally the winner. The reason there are two sides to be

Fright Nero Wolfe


Too often I find that the volume of paper expands to fill the available briefcases.

Fringe Beyond the


University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.

Fringe Beyond the


Intellect annuls Fate. So far as a man thinks, he is free.

Fritzlar Herbert von


Everybody likes a kidder, but nobody lends him money.

Frog Kermit the


Honesty's the best policy.

Fromme Squeaky


"I don't know whether God exists or not, but it makes no difference to me." "It's not like He's passing out free money or anything."

Frost Robert


Immature poets imitate, mature poets steal.

Frost Robert


Law stands mute in the midst of arms.

Frost Robert


What kind of sordid business are you on now? I mean, man, whither goest thou? Whither goest thou, America, in thy shiny car in the night?

Frost Robert


The salary of the chief executive of the large corporation is not a market award for achievement. It is frequently in the nature of a warm personal gesture by the individual to himself.

Frost Robert


Hell is empty and all the devils are here.

Frost Robert


The means-and-ends moralists, or non-doers, always end up on their ends without any means.

Frost Robert


The good Christian should beware of mathematicians and all those who make empty prophecies. The danger already exists that mathematicians have made a covenant with the devil to darken the spirit and confine man in the bonds of Hell.

Fry Christopher


Money can't buy happiness, but it can make you awfully comfortable while you're being miserable.

Fuldheim Dorothy


'Naomi, sex at noon taxes.' I moan. Never odd or even. A man, a plan, a canal, Panama. Madam, I'm Adam. Sit on a potato pan, Otis. Sit on Otis.

Fuller Buckminster


Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?

Fuller Buckminster


What makes you think graduate school is supposed to be satisfying?

Fuller R. Buckminster


As long as there are entrenched social and political distinctions between sexes, races or classes, there will be forms of science whose main function is to rationalize and legitimize these distinctions.

Fuller R. Buckminster


You're all clear now, kid. Now blow this thing so we can all go home.

Fylstra Dan





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I'm going to Vietnam at the request of the White House. President Johnson says a war isn't really a war without my jokes.
Hope Bob

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