Mirrors should reflect a little before throwing back images.

Eighteen goddess-like daughters are not equal to one son with a hump.

Hell is empty and all the devils are here.

A hundred years from now it is very likely that [of Twain's works] "The Jumping Frog" alone will be remembered.

Yield to Temptation ... it may not pass your way again.

The sky is blue so we know where to stop mowing.

I used to be disgusted, now I find I'm just amused.

There is nothing more silly than a silly laugh.

Only that in you which is me can hear what I'm saying.

When you die, you lose a very important part of your life.

I have learned silence from the talkative, toleration from the intolerant, and kindness from the unkind.

You see things; and you say "Why?" But I dream things that never were; and I say "Why not?"

L'hazard ne favorise que l'esprit prepare.

As to the Adjective: when in doubt, strike it out.

Judges, as a class, display, in the matter of arranging alimony, that reckless generosity which is found only in men who are giving away someone else's cash.

I belong to no organized party. I am a Democrat.

The lawgiver, of all beings, most owes the law allegiance. He of all men should behave as though the law compelled him. But it is the universal weakness of mankind that what we are given to administer we presently imagine we own.

Love your neighbour, yet don't pull down your hedge.

If one inquires why the American tradition is so strong against any connection of State and Church, why it dreads even the rudiments of religious teaching in state-maintained schools, the immediate and superficial answer is not far to seek. ... The

Crito, I owe a cock to Asclepius; will you remember to pay the debt?

[Nuclear war] ... may not be desirable.

All diplomacy is a continuation of war by other means.

Trying to define yourself is like trying to bite your own teeth.

With women, I've got a long bamboo pole with a leather loop on the end of it. I slip the loop around their necks so they can't get away or come too close. Like catching snakes.

Paranoids are people, too; they have their own problems. It's easy to criticize, but if everybody hated you, you'd be paranoid too.

If you lived today as if it were your last, you'd buy up a box of rockets and fire them all off, wouldn't you?

Indiana is a state dedicated to basketball. Basketball, soybeans, hogs and basketball. Berkeley, needless to say, is not nearly as athletic. Berkeley is dedicated to coffee, angst, potholes and coffee.

If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world.

I played lead guitar in a band called The Federal Duck, which is the kind of name that was popular in the '60s as a result of controlled substances being in widespread use. Back then, there were no restrictions, in terms of talent, on who could make

Just weigh your own hurt against the hurt of all the others, and then do what's best.

Even God cannot change the past.

What upsets me is not that you lied to me, but that from now on I can no longer believe you.

Maryel brought her bat into Exit once and started whacking people on the dance floor. Now everyone's doing it. It's called grand slam dancing.

There is more to life than increasing its speed.

I may not be totally perfect, but parts of me are excellent.

It is not enough to have great qualities, we should also have the management of them.

"Rights" is a fictional abstraction. No one has "Rights", neither machines nor flesh-and-blood. Persons... have opportunities, not rights, which they use or do not use.

We all declare for liberty, but in using the same word we do not all mean the same thing.

Example is not the main thing in influencing others. It is the only thing.

It looks like it's up to me to save our skins. Get into that garbage chute, flyboy!

He who slings mud generally loses ground.

I want to be the white man's brother, not his brother-in-law.

Liberty don't work as good in practice as it does in speeches.

Not to laugh, not to lament, not to curse, but to understand.

One of the large consolations for experiencing anything unpleasant is the knowledge that one can communicate it.

"You can't teach people to be lazy - either they have it, or they don't."

Largest Number of Driving Test Failures By April 1970 Mrs. Miriam Hargrave had failed her test thirty-nine times. In the eight preceding years she had received two hundred and twelve driving lessons at a cost of L300. She set the new record while

A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on.

Those who have some means think that the most important thing in the world is love. The poor know that it is money.

Don't tell me that worry doesn't do any good. I know better. The things I worry about don't happen.

You roll my log, and I will roll yours.

None love the bearer of bad news.

To stay young requires unceasing cultivation of the ability to unlearn old falsehoods.

It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help.

Why, when no honest man will deny in private that every ultimate problem is wrapped in the profoundest mystery, do honest men proclaim in pulpits that unhesitating certainty is the duty of the most foolish and ignorant? Is it not a spectacle to make

To think contrary to one's era is heroism. But to speak against it is madness.

The Puritan hated bear-baiting, not because it gave pain to the bear, but because it gave pleasure to the spectators.

Whenever I hear anyone arguing for slavery, I feel a strong impulse to see it tried on him personally.

Nothing matters very much, and few things matter at all.

Indeed, the first noble truth of Buddhism, usually translated as `all life is suffering,' is more accurately rendered `life is filled with a sense of pervasive unsatisfactoriness.'

Dishonor will not trouble me, once I am dead.

In "King Henry VI, Part II," Shakespeare has Dick Butcher suggest to his fellow anti-establishment rabble-rousers, "The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers." That action may be extreme but a similar sentiment was expressed by Thomas K. Co

When you have to kill a man it costs nothing to be polite.

Gratitude, like love, is never a dependable international emotion.

The only way I can lose this election is if I'm caught in bed with a dead girl or a live boy.

More are taken in by hope than by cunning.

Practically perfect people never permit sentiment to muddle their thinking.

Know what I hate most? Rhetorical questions.

I found Rome a city of bricks and left it a city of marble.

"California is proud to be the home of the freeway."

My brain is my second favorite organ.

You men out there probably think you already know how to dress for success. You know, for example, that you should not wear leisure suits or white plastic belts and shoes, unless you are going to a costume party disguised as a pig farmer vacationing

History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives.

No guest is so welcome in a friend's house that he will not become a nuisance after three days.

Let's say your wedding ring falls into your toaster, and when you stick your hand in to retrieve it, you suffer Pain and Suffering as well as Mental Anguish. You would sue: * The toaster manufacturer, for failure to include, in the instructions

If Karl, instead of writing a lot about Capital, had made a lot of Capital, it would have been much better.

A woman who is unfaithful deserves to be shot.

A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds.

Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.

The use of money is all the advantage there is to having money.

Luck, that's when preparation and opportunity meet.

I have a simple philosophy: Fill what's empty. Empty what's full. Scratch where it itches.

An idea is an eye given by God for the seeing of God. Some of these eyes we cannot bear to look out of, we blind them as quickly as possible.

Inglish Spocken Hier: some mangled translations Sign on a cathedral in Spain: It is forbidden to enter a woman, even a foreigner if dressed as a man. Above the enterance to a Cairo bar: Unaccompanied ladies not admitted unless with husb

But the greatest Electrical Pioneer of them all was Thomas Edison, who was a brilliant inventor despite the fact that he had little formal education and lived in New Jersey. Edison's first major invention in 1877, was the phonograph, which could soo

Everyone is in the best seat.

Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even where there is no river.

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

Richard Nixon was the most dishonest individual I have ever met in my life. He lied to his wife, his family, his friends, his colleagues in the Congress, lifetime members of his own political party, the American people, and the world.

Anybody has a right to evade taxes if he can get away with it. No citizen has a moral obligation to assist in maintaining his government.

I accept chaos. I am not sure whether it accepts me. I know some people are terrified of the bomb. But then some people are terrified to be seen carrying a modern screen magazine. Experience teaches us that silence terrifies people the most.

Your wig steers the gig.

English literature's performing flea.

New Jersey is not the armpit of the nation; it's the asshole of the universe.

A racially integrated community is a chronological term timed from the entrance of the first black family to the exit of the last white family.

You can fool all the people all of the time if the advertising is right and the budget is big enough.

Odets, where is thy sting?

Nothing makes one so vain as being told that one is a sinner. Conscience makes egotists of us all.

How should they answer?

What sane person could live in this world and not be crazy?

If little green men land in your back yard, hide any little green women you've got in the house.

Wagner's music is better than it sounds.

A full belly makes a dull brain.

Virtue would go far if vanity did not keep it company.

We may not be able to persuade Hindus that Jesus and not Vishnu should govern their spiritual horizon, nor Moslems that Lord Buddha is at the center of their spiritual universe, nor Hebrews that Mohammed is a major prohpet, nor Christians that Shinto

Old age is the most unexpected of things that can happen to a man.

Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.

As flies to wanton boys are we to the gods; they kill us for their sport.

No excellent soul is exempt from a mixture of madness.

When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.

To be excellent when engaged in administration is to be like the North Star. As it remains in its one position, all the other stars surround it.

A copy of the universe is not what is required of art; one of the damned things is ample.

"Is it just me, or does anyone else read `bible humpers' every time someone writes `bible thumpers?'

You shouldn't wallow in self-pity. But it's OK to put your feet in it and swish them around a little.