Progress was all right. Only it went on too long.

Laws are like sausages. It's better not to see them being made.

Credit ... is the only enduring testimonial to man's confidence in man.

There are ten or twenty basic truths, and life is the process of discovering them over and over and over.

You can fool all the people all of the time if the advertising is right and the budget is big enough.

... a thing called Ethics, whose nature was confusing but if you had it you were a High-Class Realtor and if you hadn't you were a shyster, a piker and a fly-by-night. These virtues awakened Confidence and enabled you to handle Bigger Propositions.

The price of success in philosophy is triviality.

The past always looks better than it was. It's only pleasant because it isn't here.

The greatest productive force is human selfishness.

We are what we pretend to be.

If there is a sin against life, it consists perhaps not so much in despairing of life as in hoping for another life and in eluding the implacable grandeur of this life.

Whatever it is, I fear Greeks even when they bring gifts.

Someday we'll look back on this moment and plow into a parked car.

He who knows, does not speak. He who speaks, does not know.

You climb to reach the summit, but once there, discover that all roads lead down.

A full belly makes a dull brain.

The early bird who catches the worm works for someone who comes in late and owns the worm farm.

The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that, you've got it made.

For certain people, after fifty, litigation takes the place of sex.

Time goes, you say? Ah no! Time stays, *we* go.

If we see the light at the end of the tunnel, it's the light of an oncoming train.

Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you.

Here's to women. Would that we could fall into her arms without falling into her hands.

If the ends don't justify the means, then what does?

A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.

Without adventure, civilization is in full decay.

The price one pays for pursuing any profession, or calling, is an intimate knowledge of its ugly side.

If ever the pleasure of one has to be bought by the pain of the other, there better be no trade. A trade by which one gains and the other loses is a fraud.

Being a miner, as soon as you're too old and tired and sick and stupid to do your job properly, you have to go, where the very opposite applies with the judges.

The chief cause of problems is solutions.

Once he had one leg in the White House and the nation trembled under his roars. Now he is a tinpot pope in the Coca-Cola belt and a brother to the forlorn pastors who belabor halfwits in galvanized iron tabernacles behind the railroad yards."

Our policy is, when in doubt, do the right thing.

The sooner you make your first 5000 mistakes, the sooner you will be able to correct them.

The best you get is an even break.

You have to run as fast as you can just to stay where you are. If you want to get anywhere, you'll have to run much faster.

Competitive fury is not always anger. It is the true missionary's courage and zeal in facing the possibility that one's best may not be enough.

The problem that we thought was a problem was, indeed, a problem, but not the problem we thought was the problem.

You are never given a wish without also being given the power to make it true. You may have to work for it, however.

When in doubt, use brute force.

Marijuana will be legal some day, because the many law students who now smoke pot will someday become congressmen and legalize it in order to protect themselves.

Sometimes, too long is too long.

"If once a man indulges himself in murder, very soon he comes to think little of robbing; and from robbing he next comes to drinking and Sabbath-breaking, and from that to incivility and procrastination."

'Naomi, sex at noon taxes.' I moan. Never odd or even. A man, a plan, a canal, Panama. Madam, I'm Adam. Sit on a potato pan, Otis. Sit on Otis.

Any philosophy that can be put "in a nutshell" belongs there.

If you're like most homeowners, you're afraid that many repairs around your home are too difficult to tackle. So, when your furnace explodes, you call in a so-called professional to fix it. The "professional" arrives in a truck with lettering on t

Life is one long struggle in the dark.

The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it.

HR 3128. Omnibus Budget Reconciliation, Fiscal 1986. Martin, R-Ill., motion that the House recede from its disagreement to the Senate amendment making changes in the bill to reduce fiscal 1986 deficits. The Senate amendment was an amendment to the

The whole world is a scab. The point is to pick it constructively.

The adjective is the banana peel of the parts of speech.

Truth never comes into the world but like a bastard, to the ignominy of him that brought her birth.

If at first you don't succeed, you're doing about average.

If you live long enough, you'll see that every victory turns into a defeat.

What fools these mortals be.

God is Dead.

We were so poor we couldn't afford a watchdog. If we heard a noise at night, we'd bark ourselves.

If a jury in a criminal trial stays out for more than twenty-four hours, it is certain to vote acquittal, save in those instances where it votes guilty.

It is better to live rich than to die rich.

The philosopher's treatment of a question is like the treatment of an illness.

Any road followed to its end leads precisely nowhere. Climb the mountain just a little to test it's a mountain. From the top of the mountain, you cannot see the mountain.

The closest to perfection a person ever comes is when he fills out a job application form.

If I cannot bend Heaven, I shall move Hell.

Fain would I climb, yet fear I to fall.

Well, we'll really have a party, but we've gotta post a guard outside.

Love may laugh at locksmiths, but he has a profound respect for money bags.

The major sin is the sin of being born.

It is through symbols that man consciously or unconsciously lives, works and has his being.

A continuing flow of paper is sufficient to continue the flow of paper.

An older student came to Otis and said, "I have been to see a great number of teachers and I have given up a great number of pleasures. I have fasted, been celibate and stayed awake nights seeking enlightenment. I have given up everything I was aske

When alerted to an intrusion by tinkling glass or otherwise, 1) Calm yourself 2) Identify the intruder 3) If hostile, kill him. Step number 3 is of particular importance. If you leave the guy alive out of misguided softheartedness, he will repay y

Praise the sea; on shore remain.

America, I'm putting my queer shoulder to the wheel.

Advertising is the rattling of a stick inside a swill bucket.

Adde parvum parvo manus acervus erit. [Add little to little and there will be a big pile.]

There are many of us in this old world of ours who hold that things break about even for all of us. I have observed, for example, that we all get about the same amount of ice. The rich get it in the summer and the poor get it in the winter.

It doesn't matter whether you win or lose

A woman's a woman until the day she dies, but a man's only a man as long as he can.

God helps them that help themselves.

Hard reality has a way of cramping your style.

It's always darkest just before the lights go out.

You can always pick up your needle and move to another groove.

As failures go, attempting to recall the past is like trying to grasp the meaning of existence. Both make one feel like a baby clutching at a basketball: one's palms keep sliding off.

Those who educate children well are more to be honored than parents, for these only gave life, those the art of living well.

It is imperative when flying coach that you restrain any tendency toward the vividly imaginative. For although it may momentarily appear to be the case, it is not at all likely that the cabin is entirely inhabited by crying babies smoking inexpensiv

To have died once is enough.

The lawgiver, of all beings, most owes the law allegiance. He of all men should behave as though the law compelled him. But it is the universal weakness of mankind that what we are given to administer we presently imagine we own.

Good government never depends upon laws, but upon the personal qualities of those who govern. The machinery of government is always subordinate to the will of those who administer that machinery. The most important element of government, therefore,

When the ax entered the forest, the trees said, "The handle is one of us!"

Take care of the luxuries and the necessities will take care of themselves.

Leave no stone unturned.

A man who cannot seduce men cannot save them either.

I have ways of making money that you know nothing of.

Seize the day, put no trust in the morrow!

The most difficult thing in the world is to know how to do a thing and to watch someone else doing it wrong, without commenting.

Live fast, die young, and leave a flat patch of fur on the highway!

A witty saying proves nothing.

"Well," Brahma said, "even after ten thousand explanations, a fool is no wiser, but an intelligent man requires only two thousand five hundred."

None love the bearer of bad news.

Good government never depends upon laws, but upon the personal qualities of those who govern. The machinery of government is always subordinate to the will of those who administer that machinery. The most important element of government, therefore,

It is better to have loved and lost

There is a good deal of solemn cant about the common interests of capital and labour. As matters stand, their only common interest is that of cutting each other's throat.

... [concerning quotation marks] even if we *___did* quote anybody in this business, it probably would be gibberish.

Reality is just a convenient measure of complexity.

Everything is possible. Pass the word.

He who knows that enough is enough will always have enough.

It is only by risking our persons from one hour to another that we live at all. And often enough our faith beforehand in an uncertified result is the only thing that makes the result come true.

The only promotion rules I can think of are that a sense of shame is to be avoided at all costs and there is never any reason for a hustler to be less cunning than more virtuous men. Oh yes ... whenever you think you've got something really great, a

Plastic... Aluminum... These are the inheritors of the Universe! Flesh and Blood have had their day... and that day is past!

Why does a hearse horse snicker, hauling a lawyer away?

The [Ford Foundation] is a large body of money completely surrounded by people who want some.

A sad spectacle. If they be inhabited, what a scope for misery and folly. If they be not inhabited, what a waste of space.

All the big corporations depreciate their possessions, and you can, too, provided you use them for business purposes. For example, if you subscribe to the Wall Street Journal, a business-related newspaper, you can deduct the cost of your house, beca

Fortune Documents the Great Legal Decisions: We think that we may take judicial notice of the fact that the term "bitch" may imply some feeling of endearment when applied to a female of the canine species but that it is seldom, if ever, so used whe

Great acts are made up of small deeds.