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There has been a little distress selling on the stock exchange.

Fadiman Clifton


University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.

Fadiman Clifton


Given a choice between grief and nothing, I'd choose grief.

Fadiman Clifton


Or you or I must yield up his life to Ahrimanes. I would rather it were you. I should have no hesitation in sacrificing my own life to spare yours, but we take stock next week, and it would not be fair on the company.

Fadiman Clifton


"Is it just me, or does anyone else read `bible humpers' every time someone writes `bible thumpers?'

Far Kilgore Trout


I have a simple philosophy: Fill what's empty. Empty what's full. Scratch where it itches.

Faulkner William


Have you ever stopped to think what it would be like to have a woman President? "I can't deal with the Russians today. Not now. I've got my period."

Faulkner William


Boston State House is the hub of the Solar System. You couldn't pry that out of a Boston man if you had the tire of all creation straightened out for a crowbar.

Fawcett-Majors Farrah


He who laughs has not yet heard the bad news.

Fee Elizabeth


Divorce is a game played by lawyers.

Feibleman James


You cannot see the wood for the trees.

Feiffer J.


An older student came to Otis and said, "I have been to see a great number of teachers and I have given up a great number of pleasures. I have fasted, been celibate and stayed awake nights seeking enlightenment. I have given up everything I was aske

Feiffer J.


What!? Me worry?

Feirstein Bruce


Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice. In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians called it "Christmas" and went to

Fenelon Francois


Experience is a good teacher, but she sends in terrific bills.

Feodor Dostoevsky


What we do not understand we do not possess.

Ferdinand Marechal Foch


Many of the characters are fools and they are always playing tricks on me and treating me badly.

Fiebig Jim


It's not a sin not to be Irish, but it is a great shame.

Fields W.C.


Some men are heterosexual, and some are bisexual, and some men don't think about sex at all... they become lawyers.

Fields W.C.


The truth is rarely pure, and never simple.

Fields W.C.


There are three reasons for becoming a writer: the first is that you need the money; the second that you have something to say that you think the world should know; the third is that you can't think what to do with the long winter evenings.

Fields W.C.


It is convenient that there be gods, and, as it is convenient, let us believe there are.

Finley J.H.


The flush toilet is the basis of Western civilization.

Finley Peter Dunne


When I came back to Dublin I was courtmartialed in my absence and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence.

Fisher John


Alas, I am dying beyond my means.

Fishhawk Prof. Cosmo


Perfection is reached, not when there is no longer anything to add, but when there is no longer anything to take away.

Fitch G.


In breeding cattle you need one bull for every twenty-five cows, unless the cows are known sluts.

Fitzgera F. Scott


Authors (and perhaps columnists) eventually rise to the top of whatever depths they were once able to plumb.

Fitzgera F. Scott


Immature artists imitate, mature artists steal.

Fitzgerald F. Scott


By working faithfully eight hours a day, you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve.

Flagg Reuben


Working with Julie Andrews is like getting hit over the head with a valentine.

Flaubert


I always had a repulsive need to be something more than human.

Florio John


Receiving a million dollars tax free will make you feel better than being flat broke and having a stomach ache.

Floyd Mengot


Brahma said: Well, after hearing ten thousand explanations, a fool is no wiser. But an intelligent man needs only two thousand five hundred.

Flynn Errol


If the ends don't justify the means, then what does?

Foote Samuel


In Marseilles they make half the toilet soap we consume in America, but the Marseillaise only have a vague theoretical idea of its use, which they have obtained from books of travel.

Ford Henry


Out of sight is out of mind.

Foreman John


Educational television should be absolutely forbidden. It can only lead to unreasonable disappointment when your child discovers that the letters of the alphabet do not leap up out of books and dance around with royal-blue chickens.

Forster E.M.


The man who has never been flogged has never been taught.

Forward R.L.


If you are shooting under 80 you are neglecting your business; over 80 you are neglecting your golf.

Fosdick Harry Emerson


I think we're in trouble.

Fowler Gene


Being a woman is a terribly difficult trade, since it consists principally of dealings with men.

Foxx Redd


Honesty pays, but it doesn't seem to pay enough to suit some people.

Frampton Peter


Ah, but a man's grasp should exceed his reach, Or what's a heaven for ?

Fran Lebowitz


When in doubt, mumble; when in trouble, delegate; when in charge, ponder.

Fran Lebowitz


Don't go to bed with no price on your head.

Fran Lebowitz


Today's thrilling story has been brought to you by Mushies, the great new cereal that gets soggy even without milk or cream. Join us soon for more spectacular adventure starring... Tippy, the Wonder Dog!

France Anatole


Chapter 1 The story so far: In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.

France Anatole


If one inquires why the American tradition is so strong against any connection of State and Church, why it dreads even the rudiments of religious teaching in state-maintained schools, the immediate and superficial answer is not far to seek. ... The

France Anatole


He who fears the unknown may one day flee from his own backside.

France Anatole


"I don't mind going nowhere as long as it's an interesting path."

France Anatole


The world is full of people who have never, since childhood, met an open doorway with an open mind.

France Anatole


The day advanced as if to light some work of mine; it was morning, and lo! now it is evening, and nothing memorable is accomplished.

France Anatole


Having nothing, nothing can he lose.

France Anatole


It is either through the influence of narcotic potions, of which all primitive peoples and races speak in hymns, or through the powerful approach of spring, penetrating with joy all of nature, that those Dionysian stirrings arise, which in their int

Franci KFOG San


The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.

Francis Brendan


There is an old time toast which is golden for its beauty. "When you ascend the hill of prosperity may you not meet a friend."

Francis


Yes, I've now got this nice little apartment in New York, one of those L-shaped ones. Unfortunately, it's a lower case l.

Francis


What one fool can do, another can.

Francisc Colin Bowles San


I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.

Frank Ann


Most general statements are false, including this one.

Frank Costello


Grig (the navigator): ... so you see, it's just the two of us against the entire space armada. Alex (the gunner): What?!? Grig: I've always wanted to fight a desperate battle against overwhelming odds. Alex: It'll be a slaughter! Grig: That'

Frank Costello


The Israelis are the Doberman pinschers of the Middle East. They treat the Arabs like postmen.

Frank Herbert


It is wise to keep in mind that neither success nor failure is ever final.

Frank Herbert


This wasn't just plain terrible, this was fancy terrible. This was terrible with raisins in it.

Frank Herbert


Anything is possible on paper.

Frank Herbert


The major sin is the sin of being born.

Franklin B.


If I could reach, I'd never leave the house.

Franklin B.


Why be a man when you can be a success?

Franklin B.


Religion has done love a great service by making it a sin.

Franklin B.


"It's kind of fun to do the impossible."

Franklin B.


An honest tale speeds best being plainly told.

Franklin B.


Crucifixes are sexy because there's a naked man on them.

Franklin Ben


If Jesus Christ were to come today, people would not even crucify him. They would ask him to dinner, and hear what he had to say, and make fun of it.

Franklin Ben


It is so stupid of modern civilisation to have given up believing in the devil when he is the only explanation of it.

Franklin Ben


The executioner is, I hear, very expert, and my neck is very slender.

Franklin Benjamin


Fast ship? You mean you've never heard of the Millennium Falcon?

Franklin Benjamin


Bingo, gas station, hamburger with a side order of airplane noise, and you'll be Gary, Indiana.

Franklin Benjamin


Another day, another dollar.

Franklin Benjamin


In my end is my beginning.

Franklin Benjamin


Most Texans think Hanukkah is some sort of duck call.

Franklin Benjamin


Maternity pay? Now every Tom, Dick and Harry will get pregnant.

Franklin Benjamin


Whom the mad would destroy, first they make Gods.

Franklin Benjamin


Never have so many understood so little about so much.

Franklin Benjamin


We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it - and stay there, lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove-lid. She will never sit down on a hot stove-lid again - and that is well; but also she will never

Franklin Benjamin


"And Bezel saideth unto Sham: `Sham,' he saideth, `Thou shalt goest unto the town of Begorrah, and there thou shalt fetcheth unto thine bosom 35 talents, and also shalt thou fetcheth a like number of cubits, provideth that they are nice and fresh.'"

Fratianno


If a fool persists in his folly he shall become wise.

Fratianno


As long as there are entrenched social and political distinctions between sexes, races or classes, there will be forms of science whose main function is to rationalize and legitimize these distinctions.

Fratianno


Illusion is the first of all pleasures.

Fred Allen


I appreciate the fact that this draft was done in haste, but some of the sentences that you are sending out in the world to do your work for you are loitering in taverns or asleep beside the highway.

Freud Sigmund


Roumanian-Yiddish cooking has killed more Jews than Hitler.

Freud Sigmund


A morgue is a morgue is a morgue. They can paint the walls with aggressively cheerful primary colors and splashy bold graphics, but it's still a holding place for the dead until they can be parted out to organ banks. Not that I would have cared nor

Friedman Milton


I have had my television aerials removed. It's the moral equivalent of a prostate operation.

Friendman Milton


The naked truth of it is, I have no shirt.

Friendman Milton


Many enraged psychiatrists are inciting a weary butcher. The butcher is weary and tired because he has cut meat and steak and lamb for hours and weeks. He does not desire to chant about anything with raving psychiatrists, but he sings about his gin

Fright Nero Wolfe


"... all the modern inconveniences ..."

Fringe Beyond the


Nullum magnum ingenium sine mixtura dementiae fuit. [There is no great genius without some touch of madness.]

Fringe Beyond the


Praise the sea; on shore remain.

Fritzlar Herbert von


An idea is an eye given by God for the seeing of God. Some of these eyes we cannot bear to look out of, we blind them as quickly as possible.

Frog Kermit the


Save a little money each month and at the end of the year you'll be surprised at how little you have.

Fromme Squeaky


If while you are in school, there is a shortage of qualified personnel in a particular field, then by the time you graduate with the necessary qualifications, that field's employment market is glutted.

Frost Robert


The shortest distance between two points is under construction.

Frost Robert


There are many of us in this old world of ours who hold that things break about even for all of us. I have observed, for example, that we all get about the same amount of ice. The rich get it in the summer and the poor get it in the winter.

Frost Robert


The sooner you make your first 5000 mistakes, the sooner you will be able to correct them.

Frost Robert


If you're like most homeowners, you're afraid that many repairs around your home are too difficult to tackle. So, when your furnace explodes, you call in a so-called professional to fix it. The "professional" arrives in a truck with lettering on t

Frost Robert


... Our second completely true news item was sent to me by Mr. H. Boyce Connell Jr. of Atlanta, Ga., where he is involved in a law firm. One thing I like about the South is, folks there care about tradition. If somebody gets handed a name like "H.

Frost Robert


Death is a spirit leaving a body, sort of like a shell leaving the nut behind.

Frost Robert


Live fast, die young, and leave a good looking corpse.

Fry Christopher


Facts, apart from their relationships, are like labels on empty bottles.

Fuldheim Dorothy


Every person, all the events in your life are there because you have drawn them there. What you choose to do with them is up to you.

Fuller Buckminster


The problem that we thought was a problem was, indeed, a problem, but not the problem we thought was the problem.

Fuller Buckminster


The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.

Fuller R. Buckminster


Time is the most valuable thing a man can spend.

Fuller R. Buckminster


If a thing's worth doing, it is worth doing badly.

Fylstra Dan





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Majorities, of course, start with minorities.
Moses Robert

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