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Dying is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down.

Fadiman Clifton


The majority of the stupid is invincible and guaranteed for all time. The terror of their tyranny, however, is alleviated by their lack of consistency.

Fadiman Clifton


The Worst Car Hire Service When David Schwartz left university in 1972, he set up Rent-a-wreck as a joke. Being a natural prankster, he acquired a fleet of beat-up shabby, wreckages waiting for the scrap heap in California. He put on a cap and lo

Fadiman Clifton


The superfluous is very necessary.

Fadiman Clifton


The only excuse for God is that he doesn't exist.

Far Kilgore Trout


No good deed goes unpunished.

Faulkner William


There must be more to life than having everything.

Faulkner William


We should have a Vollyballocracy. We elect a six-pack of presidents. Each one serves until they screw up, at which point they rotate.

Fawcett-Majors Farrah


A light wife doth make a heavy husband.

Fee Elizabeth


Home is where the hurt is.

Feibleman James


The first duty of a revolutionary is to get away with it.

Feiffer J.


To think contrary to one's era is heroism. But to speak against it is madness.

Feiffer J.


If you live long enough, you'll see that every victory turns into a defeat.

Feirstein Bruce


That's where the money was.

Fenelon Francois


Just as most issues are seldom black or white, so are most good solutions seldom black or white. Beware of the solution that requires one side to be totally the loser and the other side to be totally the winner. The reason there are two sides to be

Feodor Dostoevsky


If you want to know what god thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.

Ferdinand Marechal Foch


I have ways of making money that you know nothing of.

Fiebig Jim


You roll my log, and I will roll yours.

Fields W.C.


No house should ever be on any hill or on anything. It should be of the hill, belonging to it.

Fields W.C.


The first rule of intelligent tinkering is to save all the parts.

Fields W.C.


This is the sort of English up with which I will not put.

Fields W.C.


My tears stuck in their little ducts, refusing to be jerked.

Finley J.H.


If the Nazis had television with satellite technology, we'd all be goose-stepping. Americans are just as suggestible.

Finley Peter Dunne


Men's skin is different from women's skin. It is usually bigger, and it has more snakes tattooed on it. Also, if you examine a woman's skin very closely, inch by inch, starting at her shapely ankles, then gently tracing the slender curve of her cal

Fisher John


Dying is easy. Comedy is difficult.

Fishhawk Prof. Cosmo


If you wish to be happy for one hour, get drunk. If you wish to be happy for three days, get married. If you wish to be happy for a month, kill your pig and eat it. If you wish to be happy forever, learn to fish.

Fitch G.


A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats.

Fitzgera F. Scott


The coast was clear.

Fitzgera F. Scott


Habit is habit, and not to be flung out of the window by any man, but coaxed down-stairs a step at a time.

Fitzgerald F. Scott


It's very glamorous to raise millions of dollars, until it's time for the venture capitalist to suck your eyeballs out.

Flagg Reuben


A journey of a thousand miles starts under one's feet.

Flaubert


Prisons are built with stones of Law, brothels with bricks of Religion.

Florio John


"Give me enough medals, and I'll win any war."

Floyd Mengot


It is now 10 p.m. Do you know where Henry Kissinger is?

Flynn Errol


"If once a man indulges himself in murder, very soon he comes to think little of robbing; and from robbing he next comes to drinking and Sabbath-breaking, and from that to incivility and procrastination."

Foote Samuel


Great acts are made up of small deeds.

Ford Henry


If there is no wind, row.

Foreman John


Many of the characters are fools and they are always playing tricks on me and treating me badly.

Forster E.M.


Fortune Documents the Great Legal Decisions: We think that we may take judicial notice of the fact that the term "bitch" may imply some feeling of endearment when applied to a female of the canine species but that it is seldom, if ever, so used whe

Forward R.L.


Now it is such a bizarrely improbable coincidence that anything so mind- bogglingly useful could have evolved purely by chance that some thinkers have chosen to see it as a final and clinching proof of the non-existence of God. The argument follows:

Fosdick Harry Emerson


What an author likes to write most is his signature on the back of a cheque.

Fowler Gene


Politics is not the art of the possible. It consists in choosing between the disastrous and the unpalatable.

Foxx Redd


Some people say a front-engine car handles best. Some people say a rear-engine car handles best. I say a rented car handles best.

Frampton Peter


If you sell diamonds, you cannot expect to have many customers. But a diamond is a diamond even if there are no customers.

Fran Lebowitz


Never laugh at live dragons.

Fran Lebowitz


If the church put in half the time on covetousness that it does on lust, this would be a better world.

Fran Lebowitz


Remark of Dr. Baldwin's concerning upstarts: We don't care to eat toadstools that think they are truffles.

France Anatole


Anything is possible on paper.

France Anatole


If any demonstrator ever lays down in front of my car, it'll be the last car he ever lays down in front of.

France Anatole


The government [is] extremely fond of amassing great quantities of statistics. These are raised to the nth degree, the cube roots are extracted, and the results are arranged into elaborate and impressive displays. What must be kept ever in mind, how

France Anatole


Corrupt, stupid grasping functionaries will make at least as big a muddle of socialism as stupid, selfish and acquisitive employers can make of capitalism.

France Anatole


Tip the world over on its side and everything loose will land in Los Angeles.

France Anatole


My only love sprung from my only hate! Too early seen unknown, and known too late!

France Anatole


Piece of cake!

France Anatole


I found Rome a city of bricks and left it a city of marble.

Franci KFOG San


If God is One, what is bad?

Francis Brendan


Whatever it is, I fear Greeks even when they bring gifts.

Francis


If you have seen one city slum you have seen them all.

Francis


Too often I find that the volume of paper expands to fill the available briefcases.

Francisc Colin Bowles San


Thompson, if he is to be believed, has sampled the entire rainbow of legal and illegal drugs in heroic efforts to feel better than he does. As for the truth about his health: I have asked around about it. I am told that he appears to be strong and

Frank Ann


"I have to convince you, or at least snow you ..."

Frank Costello


You can no more win a war than you can win an earthquake.

Frank Costello


Optimism is the content of small men in high places.

Frank Herbert


It is imperative when flying coach that you restrain any tendency toward the vividly imaginative. For although it may momentarily appear to be the case, it is not at all likely that the cabin is entirely inhabited by crying babies smoking inexpensiv

Frank Herbert


"What's this? Trix? Aunt! Trix? You? You're after the prize! What is it?" He picked up the box and studied the back. "A glow-in-the-dark squid! Have you got it out of there yet?" He tilted the box, angling the little colored balls of cereal

Frank Herbert


A writer is congenitally unable to tell the truth and that is why we call what he writes fiction.

Frank Herbert


I wish a robot would get elected president. That way, when he came to town, we could all take a shot at him and not feel too bad.

Franklin B.


Whatever is not nailed down is mine. Whatever I can pry up is not nailed down.

Franklin B.


Very few blacks will take up golf until the requirement for plaid pants is dropped.

Franklin B.


Neckties strangle clear thinking.

Franklin B.


A committee takes root and grows, it flowers, wilts and dies, scattering the seed from which other committees will bloom.

Franklin B.


The great question that has never been answered and which I have not yet been able to answer despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul is: WHAT DOES A WOMAN WANT?

Franklin B.


Before you ask more questions, think about whether you really want to know the answers.

Franklin Ben


The reasons that each of these countries has had to renege on its financial committments were all somewhat different: Argentina because of a war, Poland because of its vast misguided overinvestment in heavy industry, Honduras because the coffee price

Franklin Ben


If I could drop dead right now, I'd be the happiest man alive!

Franklin Ben


... but as records of courts and justice are admissible, it can easily be proved that powerful and malevolent magicians once existed and were a scourge to mankind. The evidence (including confession) upon which certain women were convicted of witch

Franklin Benjamin


He's a son-of-a-bitch, but he's our son-of-a-bitch.

Franklin Benjamin


She ran the gamut of emotions from 'A' to 'B'.

Franklin Benjamin


In the long run we are all dead.

Franklin Benjamin


It is better to have loved and lost

Franklin Benjamin


Alas, how love can trifle with itself!

Franklin Benjamin


Star Wars is adolescent nonsense; Close Encounters is obscurantist drivel; Star Trek can turn your brains to puree of bat guano; and the greatest science fiction series of all time is Doctor Who! And I'll take you all on, one-by-one or all in a bunc

Franklin Benjamin


The control of the production of wealth is the control of human life itself.

Franklin Benjamin


A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.

Franklin Benjamin


Every man who has reached even his intellectual teens begins to suspect that life is no farce; that it is not genteel comedy even; that it flowers and fructifies on the contrary out of the profoundest tragic depths of the essential death in which its

Franklin Benjamin


The Worst Jury A murder trial at Manitoba in February 1978 was well advanced, when one juror revealed that he was completely deaf and did not have the remotest clue what was happening. The judge, Mr. Justice Solomon, asked him if he had heard any

Fratianno


A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back the when it begins to rain.

Fratianno


All [zoos] actually offer to the public in return for the taxes spent upon them is a form of idle and witless amusement, compared to which a visit to a penitentiary, or even to a State legislature in session, is informing, stimulating and ennobling.

Fratianno


In "King Henry VI, Part II," Shakespeare has Dick Butcher suggest to his fellow anti-establishment rabble-rousers, "The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers." That action may be extreme but a similar sentiment was expressed by Thomas K. Co

Fred Allen


Moderation is a fatal thing. Nothing succeeds like excess.

Freud Sigmund


I've got a very bad feeling about this.

Freud Sigmund


Freedom is slavery. Ignorance is strength. War is peace.

Friedman Milton


When you have to kill a man it costs nothing to be polite.

Friendman Milton


Oh what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive.

Friendman Milton


A little inaccuracy saves a world of explanation.

Fright Nero Wolfe


If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that don't get wet you can keep.

Fringe Beyond the


"It's a summons." "What's a summons?" "It means summon's in trouble."

Fringe Beyond the


Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known.

Fritzlar Herbert von


My advice to the women's clubs of America is to raise more hell and fewer dahlias.

Frog Kermit the


The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence.

Fromme Squeaky


Chance is perhaps the work of God when He did not want to sign.

Frost Robert


Let sleeping dogs lie.

Frost Robert


Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition.

Frost Robert


Never keep up with the Joneses. Drag them down to your level.

Frost Robert


Boston State House is the hub of the Solar System. You couldn't pry that out of a Boston man if you had the tire of all creation straightened out for a crowbar.

Frost Robert


God is the tangential point between zero and infinity.

Frost Robert


In the begining, God created the Earth and he said, "Let there be mud." And there was mud. And God said, "Let Us make living creatures out of mud, so the mud can see what we have done." And God created every living creature that now moveth, and

Frost Robert


"Benson, you are so free of the ravages of intelligence"

Fry Christopher


The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and the lightning bug.

Fuldheim Dorothy


The graveyards are full of indispensable men.

Fuller Buckminster


I don't give a shit what happens. I want you all to stonewall it. Let them plead the Fifth Amendment, cover up, or anything else if it'll save the plan.

Fuller Buckminster


There's no justice in this world.

Fuller R. Buckminster


Tax reform means "Don't tax you, don't tax me, tax that fellow behind the tree."

Fuller R. Buckminster


I value kindness to human beings first of all, and kindness to animals. I don't respect the law; I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger, the food cheaper, and old men

Fylstra Dan





Random Quote


Shall we make a new rule of life from tonight: always to try to be a little kinder than is necessary?
Barrie J.M.

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