Marijuana will be legal some day, because the many law students who now smoke pot will someday become congressmen and legalize it in order to protect themselves.

Life sucks, but death doesn't put out at all.

Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself.

The great question that has never been answered and which I have not yet been able to answer despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul is: WHAT DOES A WOMAN WANT?

The absurd is the essential concept and the first truth.

"If once a man indulges himself in murder, very soon he comes to think little of robbing; and from robbing he next comes to drinking and Sabbath-breaking, and from that to incivility and procrastination."

The cart has no place where a fifth wheel could be used.

The trouble with the rat-race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.

...He who laughs does not believe in what he laughs at, but neither does he hate it. Therefore, laughing at evil means not preparing oneself to combat it, and laughing at good means denying the power through which good is self-propagating.

It is better to have loved and lost

Sho' they got to have it against the law. Shoot, ever'body git high, they wouldn't be nobody git up and feed the chickens. Hee-hee.

When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.

I am a man: nothing human is alien to me.

The `loner' may be respected, but he is always resented by his colleagues, for he seems to be passing a critical judgment on them, when he may be simply making a limiting statement about himself.

You climb to reach the summit, but once there, discover that all roads lead down.

In the long run we are all dead.

In my end is my beginning.

For certain people, after fifty, litigation takes the place of sex.

Furious activity is no substitute for understanding.

"We're not talking about the same thing," he said. "For you the world is weird because if you're not bored with it you're at odds with it. For me the world is weird because it is stupendous, awesome, mysterious, unfathomable; my interest has been to

If there were a school for, say, sheet metal workers, that after three years left its graduates as unprepared for their careers as does law school, it would be closed down in a minute, and no doubt by lawyers.

Paradise is exactly like where you are right now ... only much, much better.

Before he became a hermit, Zarathud was a young Priest, and took great delight in making fools of his opponents in front of his followers. One day Zarathud took his students to a pleasant pasture and there he confronted The Sacred Chao while She

It is Mr. Mellon's credo that $200,000,000 can do no wrong. Our offense consists in doubting it.

Coincidences are spiritual puns.

Whatever occurs from love is always beyond good and evil.

I remember when legal used to mean lawful, now it means some kind of loophole.

The ideal voice for radio may be defined as showing no substance, no sex, no owner, and a message of importance for every housewife.

The problem with any unwritten law is that you don't know where to go to erase it.

One good turn deserves another.

Eighteen goddess-like daughters are not equal to one son with a hump.

Facts, apart from their relationships, are like labels on empty bottles.

Turn the other cheek.

A good name lost is seldom regained. When character is gone, all is gone, and one of the richest jewels of life is lost forever.

There are two kinds of pedestrians... the quick and the dead.

Have the courage to take your own thoughts seriously, for they will shape you.

I know on which side my bread is buttered.

If the path be beautiful, let us not ask where it leads.

The more I want to get something done, the less I call it work.

In "King Henry VI, Part II," Shakespeare has Dick Butcher suggest to his fellow anti-establishment rabble-rousers, "The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers." That action may be extreme but a similar sentiment was expressed by Thomas K. Co

Somehow I reached excess without ever noticing when I was passing through satisfaction.

An idea is an eye given by God for the seeing of God. Some of these eyes we cannot bear to look out of, we blind them as quickly as possible.

Where it is a duty to worship the sun it is pretty sure to be a crime to examine the laws of heat.

Moderation is a fatal thing. Nothing succeeds like excess.

"If a camel flies, no one laughs if it doesn't get very far."

A snake lurks in the grass.

A journey of a thousand miles starts under one's feet.

There is more to life than increasing its speed.

A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds.

Pity the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.

In "King Henry VI, Part II," Shakespeare has Dick Butcher suggest to his fellow anti-establishment rabble-rousers, "The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers." That action may be extreme but a similar sentiment was expressed by Thomas K. Co

All this wheeling and dealing around, why, it isn't for money, it's for fun. Money's just the way we keep score.

It's pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness; poverty and wealth have both failed.

Better tried by twelve than carried by six.

What one believes to be true either is true or becomes true.

Flame on!

Sometimes a man who deserves to be looked down upon because he is a fool is despised only because he is a lawyer.

Good government never depends upon laws, but upon the personal qualities of those who govern. The machinery of government is always subordinate to the will of those who administer that machinery. The most important element of government, therefore,

Some people say a front-engine car handles best. Some people say a rear-engine car handles best. I say a rented car handles best.

The man-hating woman, like the cold woman, is largely imaginary. She is simply a woman who has done her best to snare a man and has failed.

When I have one foot in the grave I will tell the truth about women. I shall tell it, jump into my coffin, pull the lid over me, and say, "Do what you like now."

Man is the measure of all things.

A memorandum is written not to inform the reader, but to protect the writer.

There's no such thing as a free lunch.

My father was a creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, it seems, begins where yours left off.

Sometimes even to live is an act of courage.

What one fool can do, another can.

"If once a man indulges himself in murder, very soon he comes to think little of robbing; and from robbing he next comes to drinking and Sabbath-breaking, and from that to incivility and procrastination."

Good salesmen and good repairmen will never go hungry.

The lawgiver, of all beings, most owes the law allegiance. He of all men should behave as though the law compelled him. But it is the universal weakness of mankind that what we are given to administer we presently imagine we own.

"Hi, I'm Preston A. Mantis, president of Consumers Retail Law Outlet. As you can see by my suit and the fact that I have all these books of equal height on the shelves behind me, I am a trained legal attorney. Do you have a car or a job? Do you ever

The sooner you make your first 5000 mistakes, the sooner you will be able to correct them.

The first requisite for immortality is death.

General notions are generally wrong.

The faster I go, the behinder I get.

The pollution's at that awkward stage. Too thick to navigate and too thin to cultivate.

Nonsense and beauty have close connections.

No bird soars too high if he soars with his own wings.

Take the folks at Coca-Cola. For many years, they were content to sit back and make the same old carbonated beverage. It was a good beverage, no question about it; generations of people had grown up drinking it and doing the experiment in sixth gr

A man's house is his castle.

The Poems, all three hundred of them, may be summed up in one of their phrases: "Let our thoughts be correct".

Column 1 Column 2 Column 3 0. integrated 0. management 0. options 1. total 1. organizational 1. flexibility 2. systematized 2. monitored 2. capability 3. parallel 3. reciprocal 3. mobility 4. functional 4. digital 4. programming 5. re

HR 3128. Omnibus Budget Reconciliation, Fiscal 1986. Martin, R-Ill., motion that the House recede from its disagreement to the Senate amendment making changes in the bill to reduce fiscal 1986 deficits. The Senate amendment was an amendment to the

Just remember, wherever you go, there you are.

An office party is not, as is sometimes supposed the Managing Director's chance to kiss the tea-girl. It is the tea-girl's chance to kiss the Managing Director (however bizarre an ambition this may seem to anyone who has seen the Managing Director f

The trouble with opportunity is that it always comes disguised as hard work.

If you would know the value of money, go try to borrow some.

I value kindness to human beings first of all, and kindness to animals. I don't respect the law; I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger, the food cheaper, and old men

I remember when legal used to mean lawful, now it means some kind of loophole.

If I could reach, I'd never leave the house.

"You would do well not to imagine profundity," he said. "Anything that seems of momentous occasion should be dwelt upon as though it were of slight note. Conversely, trivialities must be attended to with the greatest of care. Because death is moment

It's very glamorous to raise millions of dollars, until it's time for the venture capitalist to suck your eyeballs out.

Would ye both eat your cake and have your cake?

If you aren't rich you should always look useful.

Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig.

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

Executive ability is deciding quickly and getting somebody else to do the work.

The individual choice of garnishment of a burger can be an important point to the consumer in this day when individualism is an increasingly important thing to people.

There's no justice in this world.

When alerted to an intrusion by tinkling glass or otherwise, 1) Calm yourself 2) Identify the intruder 3) If hostile, kill him. Step number 3 is of particular importance. If you leave the guy alive out of misguided softheartedness, he will repay y

Women are nothing but machines for producing children.

Superstition, idolatry, and hypocrisy have ample wages, but truth goes a-begging.

Walking on water wasn't built in a day.

A woman's a woman until the day she dies, but a man's only a man as long as he can.

And tomorrow will be like today, only more so.

Dying is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down.

Let sleeping dogs lie.

A highly intelligent man should take a primitive woman. Imagine if on top of everything else, I had a woman who interfered with my work.

Getting into trouble is easy.

The only certainty is that nothing is certain.

The first myth of management is that it exists. The second myth of management is that success equals skill.

... Our second completely true news item was sent to me by Mr. H. Boyce Connell Jr. of Atlanta, Ga., where he is involved in a law firm. One thing I like about the South is, folks there care about tradition. If somebody gets handed a name like "H.

CF&C stole it, fair and square.

If you sell diamonds, you cannot expect to have many customers. But a diamond is a diamond even if there are no customers.

Never buy what you do not want because it is cheap; it will be dear to you.

Several years ago, some smart businessmen had an idea: Why not build a big store where a do-it-yourselfer could get everything he needed at reasonable prices? Then they decided, nah, the hell with that, let's build a home center. And before long ho

Ah, but a man's grasp should exceed his reach, Or what's a heaven for ?

Let's remind ourselves that last year's fresh idea is today's cliche.

None love the bearer of bad news.

When your work speaks for itself, don't interrupt.

Imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality.

In "King Henry VI, Part II," Shakespeare has Dick Butcher suggest to his fellow anti-establishment rabble-rousers, "The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers." That action may be extreme but a similar sentiment was expressed by Thomas K. Co

Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it.

A woman takes off her claim to respect along with her garments.

Truth never comes into the world but like a bastard, to the ignominy of him that brought her birth.

With Congress, every time they make a joke it's a law; and every time they make a law it's a joke.

Bullwinkle: You just leave that to my pal. He's the brains of the outfit. General: What does that make YOU? Bullwinkle: What else? An executive.

Men are superior to women.

Fain would I climb, yet fear I to fall.

Genius is pain.

There is a good deal of solemn cant about the common interests of capital and labour. As matters stand, their only common interest is that of cutting each other's throat.

"Do you think there's a God?" "Well, ____SOMEbody's out to get me!"

The price of success in philosophy is triviality.

An ounce of hypocrisy is worth a pound of ambition.