A dead man cannot bite.

The seven deadly sins ... Food, clothing, firing, rent, taxes, respectability and children. Nothing can lift those seven milestones from man's neck but money; and the spirit cannot soar until the milestones are lifted.

Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely.

Human resources are human first, and resources second.

What one fool can do, another can.

The confusion of a staff member is measured by the length of his memos.

Remember that there is an outside world to see and enjoy.

There is more to life than increasing its speed.

He who despairs over an event is a coward, but he who holds hopes for the human condition is a fool.

If you aren't rich you should always look useful.

We have reason to be afraid. This is a terrible place.

The first rule of all intelligent tinkering is to keep all the parts.

IF I HAD A MINE SHAFT, I don't think I would just abandon it. There's got to be a better way.

Pity the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.

You climb to reach the summit, but once there, discover that all roads lead down.

Forgive and forget.

The future not being born, my friend, we will abstain from baptizing it.

... "fire" does not matter, "earth" and "air" and "water" do not matter. "I" do not matter. No word matters. But man forgets reality and remembers words. The more words he remembers, the cleverer do his fellows esteem him. He looks upon the great

Money doesn't talk, it swears.

If your happiness depends on what somebody else does, I guess you do have a problem.

The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that, you've got it made.

A beginning is the time for taking the most delicate care that balances are correct.

You have to run as fast as you can just to stay where you are. If you want to get anywhere, you'll have to run much faster.

Take your work seriously but never take yourself seriously; and do not take what happens either to yourself or your work seriously.

"World conquerors sometimes become fools, but fools never become world conquerors."

He has not acquired a fortune; the fortune has acquired him.

Term, holidays, term, holidays, till we leave school, and then work, work, work till we die.

Lookie, lookie, here comes cookie...

Let us not look back in anger or forward in fear, but around us in awareness.

The [Ford Foundation] is a large body of money completely surrounded by people who want some.

If you only have a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail.

You or I must yield up his life to Ahrimanes. I would rather it were you. I should have no hesitation in sacrificing my own life to spare yours, but we take stock next week, and it would not be fair on the company.

Who does not trust enough will not be trusted.

If at first you don't succeed, you're doing about average.

It is bad luck to be superstitious.

Fortune and love befriend the bold.

Let sleeping dogs lie.

You can't run away forever, But there's nothing wrong with getting a good head start.

What sane person could live in this world and not be crazy?

The more I want to get something done, the less I call it work.

Hotels are tired of getting ripped off. I checked into a hotel and they had towels from my house.

Love may laugh at locksmiths, but he has a profound respect for money bags.

In childhood a woman must be subject to her father; in youth to her husband; when her husband is dead, to her sons. A woman must never be free of subjugation.

In the highest society, as well as in the lowest, woman is merely an instrument of pleasure.

Well, he thought, since neither Aristotelian Logic nor the disciplines of Science seemed to offer much hope, it's time to go beyond them... Drawing a few deep even breaths, he entered a mental state practiced only by Masters of the Universal Way of

A society in which women are taught anything but the management of a family, the care of men, and the creation of the future generation is a society which is on its way out.

If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars.

The day advanced as if to light some work of mine; it was morning, and lo! now it is evening, and nothing memorable is accomplished.

I owe the public nothing.

Let me assure you that to us here at First National, you're not just a number. Youre two numbers, a dash, three more numbers, another dash and another number.

The only certainty is that nothing is certain.

May you live in uninteresting times.

You can always pick up your needle and move to another groove.

"I gained nothing at all from Supreme Enlightenment, and for that very reason it is called Supreme Enlightenment."

The first requisite for immortality is death.

Facts are the enemy of truth.

"You mean, if you allow the master to be uncivil, to treat you any old way he likes, and to insult your dignity, then he may deem you fit to hear his view of things?" "Quite the contrary. You must defend your integrity, assuming you have integrit

Women are nothing but machines for producing children.

'Naomi, sex at noon taxes.' I moan. Never odd or even. A man, a plan, a canal, Panama. Madam, I'm Adam. Sit on a potato pan, Otis. Sit on Otis.

Men's skin is different from women's skin. It is usually bigger, and it has more snakes tattooed on it. Also, if you examine a woman's skin very closely, inch by inch, starting at her shapely ankles, then gently tracing the slender curve of her cal

An idea is an eye given by God for the seeing of God. Some of these eyes we cannot bear to look out of, we blind them as quickly as possible.

"Well," Brahma said, "even after ten thousand explanations, a fool is no wiser, but an intelligent man requires only two thousand five hundred."

The world is your exercise-book, the pages on which you do your sums. It is not reality, although you can express reality there if you wish. You are also free to write nonsense, or lies, or to tear the pages.

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.

He who makes a beast of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man.

All men know the utility of useful things; but they do not know the utility of futility.

What you want, what you're hanging around in the world waiting for, is for something to occur to you.

Arrakis teaches the attitude of the knife - chopping off what's incomplete and saying: "Now it's complete because it's ended here."

Never tell people how to do things. Tell them WHAT to do and they will surprise you with their ingenuity.

The chief danger in life is that you may take too many precautions.

Suffering alone exists, none who suffer; The deed there is, but no doer thereof; Nirvana is, but no one is seeking it; The Path there is, but none who travel it.

Paradise is exactly like where you are right now ... only much, much better.

There is nothing new except what has been forgotten.

There are two kinds of pedestrians... the quick and the dead.

Nonsense and beauty have close connections.

If men are not afraid to die, it is of no avail to threaten them with death. If men live in constant fear of dying, And if breaking the law means a man will be killed, Who will dare to break the law? There is always an official executioner. If

Yet creeds mean very little, Coth answered the dark god, still speaking almost gently. The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this is true.

Life sucks, but death doesn't put out at all.

Time is but the stream I go a-fishing in.

Call on God, but row away from the rocks.

Turn the other cheek.

It is the quality rather than the quantity that matters.

Honesty pays, but it doesn't seem to pay enough to suit some people.

Take the folks at Coca-Cola. For many years, they were content to sit back and make the same old carbonated beverage. It was a good beverage, no question about it; generations of people had grown up drinking it and doing the experiment in sixth gr

The best executive is one who has sense enough to pick good people to do what he wants done, and self-restraint enough to keep from meddling with them while they do it.

For if there is a sin against life, it consists perhaps not so much in despairing of life as in hoping for another life and in eluding the implacable grandeur of this life.

One good turn asketh another.

Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet?

A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.

Never buy what you do not want because it is cheap; it will be dear to you.

You can fool all the people all of the time if the advertising is right and the budget is big enough.

Progress might have been all right once, but it's gone on too long.

True to our past we work with an inherited, observed, and accepted vision of personal futility, and of the beauty of the world.

The true way goes over a rope which is not stretched at any great height but just above the ground. It seems more designed to make people stumble than to be walked upon.

When your work speaks for itself, don't interrupt.

Of all men's miseries, the bitterest is this: to know so much and have control over nothing.

Any philosophy that can be put "in a nutshell" belongs there.

"Life is too important to take seriously."

He who knows others is wise. He who knows himself is enlightened.

The whole earth is in jail and we're plotting this incredible jailbreak.

No small art is it to sleep: it is necessary for that purpose to keep awake all day.

She applies her lipstick in spite of its contents: "greasy rouge, containing crushed and dried insect corpses for coloring, beeswax for stiffness, and olive oil to help it flow - the latter having the unfortunate tendency to go rancid several hours a

With all the talent around, it's sort of amazing that a woman could be up here with us.

The individual choice of garnishment of a burger can be an important point to the consumer in this day when individualism is an increasingly important thing to people.

A committee is a group that keeps the minutes and loses hours.

Fill what's empty, empty what's full, scratch where it itches.

Ain't no right way to do a wrong thing.

Certainly the game is rigged. Don't let that stop you; if you don't bet, you can't win.

If ever the pleasure of one has to be bought by the pain of the other, there better be no trade. A trade by which one gains and the other loses is a fraud.

Not to laugh, not to lament, not to curse, but to understand.

A man said to the Universe: "Sir, I exist!" "However," replied the Universe, "the fact has not created in me a sense of obligation."

The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it.

Man is the measure of all things.

Practice yourself what you preach.

If a thing's worth having, it's worth cheating for.

When in doubt, use brute force.

The absurd is the essential concept and the first truth.

Treat your friend as if he might become an enemy.

The truth of a thing is the feel of it, not the think of it.

When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.

Set the cart before the horse.

Nasrudin returned to his village from the imperial capital, and the villagers gathered around to hear what had passed. "At this time," said Nasrudin, "I only want to say that the King spoke to me." All the villagers but the stupidest ran off to spr

We can embody the truth, but we cannot know it.

It is better to live rich than to die rich.

In charity there is no excess.

There has been a little distress selling on the stock exchange.

Where there is much light there is also much shadow.

Nullum magnum ingenium sine mixtura dementiae fuit. [There is no great genius without some touch of madness.]

Nice guys finish last, but we get to sleep in.

Someday, Weederman, we'll look back on all this and laugh... It will probably be one of those deep, eerie ones that slowly builds to a blood-curdling maniacal scream... but still it will be a laugh.

There are no accidents whatsoever in the universe.

Nothing is so firmly believed as that which we least know.

If I were a grave-digger or even a hangman, there are some people I could work for with a great deal of enjoyment.