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"Are you police officers?" "No, ma'am. We're musicians."

G Gen.


I often quote myself; it adds spice to my conversation.

G. Gordon Liddy's


Seeing that death, a necessary end, Will come when it will come.

G. Roy


Don't go to bed with no price on your head.

G. Roy


(1) Avoid fried meats which angry up the blood. (2) If your stomach antagonizes you, pacify it with cool thoughts. (3) Keep the juices flowing by jangling around gently as you move. (4) Go very lightly on the vices, such as carrying on in society, as

Galbraith J.K.


Acting is not very hard. The most important things are to be able to laugh and cry. If I have to cry, I think of my sex life. And if I have to laugh, well, I think of my sex life.

Galbraith J.K.


"No job too big; no fee too big!"

Galbraith John Kenneth


You can always pick up your needle and move to another groove.

Galbraith John Kenneth


"I gained nothing at all from Supreme Enlightenment, and for that very reason it is called Supreme Enlightenment."

Galbraith John Kenneth


So little time, so little to do.

Galilei Galileo


Marijuana will be legal some day, because the many law students who now smoke pot will someday become congressmen and legalize it in order to protect themselves.

Gallagher


Honesty pays, but it doesn't seem to pay enough to suit some people.

Gallagher Eugene P.


We are what we pretend to be.

Gallaher M.


"Not Hercules could have knock'd out his brains, for he had none."

Gallaher M.


The first myth of management is that it exists. The second myth of management is that success equals skill.

Galsworthy John


You knew the job was dangerous when you took it, Fred.

Game


And tomorrow will be like today, only more so.

Gandhi


All the big corporations depreciate their possessions, and you can, too, provided you use them for business purposes. For example, if you subscribe to the Wall Street Journal, a business-related newspaper, you can deduct the cost of your house, beca

Gandhi Indira


Just close your eyes, tap your heels together three times, and think to yourself, `There's no place like home.'

Gandhi Indira


If a jury in a criminal trial stays out for more than twenty-four hours, it is certain to vote acquittal, save in those instances where it votes guilty.

Gandhi Mahatma


God helps them that help themselves.

Gandhi Mahatma


How should they answer?

Gandhi Mahatma


Littering is dumb.

Gandhi Mahatma


I dread success. To have succeeded is to have finished one's business on earth, like the male spider, who is killed by the female the moment he has succeeded in his courtship. I like a state of continual becoming, with a goal in front and not behin

Garbers J.


British education is probably the best in the world, if you can survive it. If you can't there is nothing left for you but the diplomatic corps.

Garfield


How can you prove whether at this moment we are sleeping, and all our thoughts are a dream; or whether we are awake, and talking to one another in the waking state?

Garrison William Lloyd


I am America's child, a spastic slogging on demented limbs drooling I'll trade my PhD for a telephone voice.

Garrison Keillor


Hard reality has a way of cramping your style.

Gary Gilmore


Life sucks, but death doesn't put out at all.

Gary Trudeau


You can observe a lot just by watching.

Gasset Jos'e Ortega Y


There are three reasons for becoming a writer: the first is that you need the money; the second that you have something to say that you think the world should know; the third is that you can't think what to do with the long winter evenings.

Gauguin Paul


It is so stupid of modern civilisation to have given up believing in the devil when he is the only explanation of it.

Gauguin Paul


It's easier to take it apart than to put it back together.

Gaulle Charles de


Eggheads unite! You have nothing to lose but your yolks.

Gaulle Charles de


Nitwit ideas are for emergencies. You use them when you've got nothing else to try. If they work, they go in the Book. Otherwise you follow the Book, which is largely a collection of nitwit ideas that worked.

Gaultier Jules de


Judges, as a class, display, in the matter of arranging alimony, that reckless generosity which is found only in men who are giving away someone else's cash.

Gauss


If you catch a man, throw him back.

Gauvreay Emile Henry


Training is everything. The peach was once a bitter almond; cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.

Gavin General James


There are many of us in this old world of ours who hold that things break about even for all of us. I have observed, for example, that we all get about the same amount of ice. The rich get it in the summer and the poor get it in the winter.

Geis R.


God is Dead.

Geis R.


[District Attorneys] learn in District Attorney School that there are two sure-fire ways to get a lot of favorable publicity: (1) Go down and raid all the lockers in the local high school and confiscate 53 marijuana cigarettes and put them in a

Geis R.


Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years.

Gene Kirkwood


The possession of a book becomes a substitute for reading it.

Genter Quentin


Traveling through hyperspace isn't like dusting crops, boy.

George


It is only the man whose intellect is clouded by his sexual impulse that could give the name of the fair sex to that undersized, narrow-shouldered, broad-hipped, and short-legged race.

George F. Baer railroad


I'll turn over a new leaf.

George Kennan


One learns to itch where one can scratch.

George Saunder


As failures go, attempting to recall the past is like trying to grasp the meaning of existence. Both make one feel like a baby clutching at a basketball: one's palms keep sliding off.

George Seldes


Mandrell: "You know what I think?" Doctor: "Ah, ah that's a catch question. With a brain your size you don't think, right?"

Gerald Weinberg


I need another lawyer like I need another hole in my head.

Gerould Katharine Fullerton


Plots are like girdles. Hidden, they hold your interest; revealed, they're of no interest except to fetishists. Like girdles, they attempt to contain an uncontainable experience.

Gerrold David


The proof of the pudding is in the eating.

Gerrold David


It's not a sin not to be Irish, but it is a great shame.

Gess Bene


Another possible source of guidance for teenagers is television, but television's message has always been that the need for truth, wisdom and world peace pales by comparison with the need for a toothpaste that offers whiter teeth *___and* fresher

Getty J. Paul


'Naomi, sex at noon taxes.' I moan. Never odd or even. A man, a plan, a canal, Panama. Madam, I'm Adam. Sit on a potato pan, Otis. Sit on Otis.

Getty J.P.


Don't get mad, get even.

Giancana Sam


You may my glories and my state dispose, But not my griefs; still am I king of those.

Giancana Sam e


I have seen the future and it is just like the present, only longer.

Gibbon Edward


One good turn asketh another.

Gibbon Edward


People in general do not willingly read if they have anything else to amuse them.

Gibbons Edward


Housework can kill you if done right.

Gibran Kahlil


It is a sobering thought that when Mozart was my age, he had been dead for two years.

Gibran Kahlil


[District Attorneys] learn in District Attorney School that there are two sure-fire ways to get a lot of favorable publicity: (1) Go down and raid all the lockers in the local high school and confiscate 53 marijuana cigarettes and put them in a

Gibran Kahlil


Like ya know? Rock 'N Roll is an esoteric language that unlocks the creativity chambers in people's brains, and like totally activates their essential hipness, which of course is like totally necessary for saving the earth, like because the first th

Gibson J.J.


Mental power tended to corrupt, and absolute intelligence tended to corrupt absolutely, until the victim eschewed violence entirely in favor of smart solutions to stupid problems.

Giddens Gary


Even the clearest and most perfect circumstantial evidence is likely to be at fault, after all, and therefore ought to be received with great caution. Take the case of any pencil, sharpened by any woman; if you have witnesses, you will find she did

Gilbert W.S.


Classical music is the kind we keep thinking will turn into a tune.

Gillette George Francis


Having nothing, nothing can he lose.

Gilliam E.A.


Luck, that's when preparation and opportunity meet.

Ginsberg Allen


The Worst Jury A murder trial at Manitoba in February 1978 was well advanced, when one juror revealed that he was completely deaf and did not have the remotest clue what was happening. The judge, Mr. Justice Solomon, asked him if he had heard any

Ginsberg Allen


A woman who is guided by the head and not by the heart is a social pestilence: she has all the defects of the passionate and affectionate woman, with none of her compensations; she is without pity, without love, without virtue, without sex.

Giraudoux Jean


Once he had one leg in the White House and the nation trembled under his roars. Now he is a tinpot pope in the Coca-Cola belt and a brother to the forlorn pastors who belabor halfwits in galvanized iron tabernacles behind the railroad yards."

Giraudoux Jean


If a man has a strong faith he can indulge in the luxury of skepticism.

Glymour. C.


He played the king as if afraid someone else would play the ace.

Gnaeus Pompeius


It's is not, it isn't ain't, and it's it's, not its, if you mean it is. If you don't, it's its. Then too, it's hers. It isn't her's. It isn't our's either. It's ours, and likewise yours and theirs.

Gobeil Madeleine


A lie is an abomination unto the Lord and a very present help in time of trouble.

Godwin Gail


This is the sort of English up with which I will not put.

Goebbels Josef


I heard a definition of an intellectual, that I thought was very interesting: a man who takes more words than are necessary to tell more than he knows.

Goering Hermann


The cart has no place where a fifth wheel could be used.

Goering Hermann


"Hi, I'm Preston A. Mantis, president of Consumers Retail Law Outlet. As you can see by my suit and the fact that I have all these books of equal height on the shelves behind me, I am a trained legal attorney. Do you have a car or a job? Do you ever

Goethe


I have a very strange feeling about this...

Goethe


Education is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember from time to time that nothing that is worth knowing can be taught.

Goethe


If we see the light at the end of the tunnel, it's the light of an oncoming train.

Goethe


To know Edina is to reject it.

Goethe


I remember when legal used to mean lawful, now it means some kind of loophole.

Goethe


To restore a sense of reality, I think Walt Disney should have a Hardluckland.

Goethe


After the game the king and the pawn go in the same box.

Goethe Johann Wolfgang von


All art is but imitation of nature.

Goethe Johann van


Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women it is merely a good excuse not to play football.

Gold Vic


A writer is congenitally unable to tell the truth and that is why we call what he writes fiction.

Gold Barry


New York now leads the world's great cities in the number of people around whom you shouldn't make a sudden move.

Goldenstern


Goals... Plans... they're fantasies, they're part of a dream world...

Goldfinger Auric


Great acts are made up of small deeds.

Goldthwait Bobcat


There is a good deal of solemn cant about the common interests of capital and labour. As matters stand, their only common interest is that of cutting each other's throat.

Goldwater Barry


The first requisite for immortality is death.

Goldwater Barry


Being a woman is a terribly difficult trade, since it consists principally of dealings with men.

Goldwater Sen. Barry


... [concerning quotation marks] even if we *___did* quote anybody in this business, it probably would be gibberish.

Goldwater Senator Barry


Where do I find the time for not reading so many books?

Goldwater Barry


I value kindness to human beings first of all, and kindness to animals. I don't respect the law; I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger, the food cheaper, and old men

Goldwater Senator Barry


Illusion is the first of all pleasures.

Goldwyn Samuel


Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you.

Goldwyn Samuel


The Angels want to wear my red shoes.

Goldwyn Samuel


Chapter 1 The story so far: In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.

Gondorf Henry


The United States is like the guy at the party who gives cocaine to everybody and still nobody likes him.

Good Glynda the


The big cities of America are becoming Third World countries.

Goodman Saul


The rights and interests of the laboring man will be protected and cared for not by our labor agitators, but by the Christian men to whom God in his infinite wisdom has given control of property interests of the country, and upon the successful manag

Gordon Karen Elizabeth


Never buy from a rich salesman.

Gordon George


I'd just as soon kiss a Wookie.

Gorin Amy


Never tell people how to do things. Tell them WHAT to do and they will surprise you with their ingenuity.

Gorin Amy


The true way goes over a rope which is not stretched at any great height but just above the ground. It seems more designed to make people stumble than to be walked upon.

Gould Jay


I used to be disgusted, now I find I'm just amused.

Gould Jay


Never buy what you do not want because it is cheap; it will be dear to you.

Goulden Joseph C.


Men's skin is different from women's skin. It is usually bigger, and it has more snakes tattooed on it. Also, if you examine a woman's skin very closely, inch by inch, starting at her shapely ankles, then gently tracing the slender curve of her cal

Goulden Joseph C.


One big pile is better than two little piles.

Goulden Joseph C.


Inglish Spocken Hier: some mangled translations Sign on a cabin door of a Soviet Black Sea cruise liner: Helpsavering apparata in emergings behold many whistles! Associate the stringing apparata about the bosums and meet behind, flee then t

Grant Cary


Everyone is in the best seat.

Grant Cary


Who goeth a-borrowing goeth a-sorrowing.

Gravy Wavy


My father, a good man, told me, "Never lose your ignorance; you cannot replace it."

Gregory Dick


There must be more to life than having everything.

Greville Fulke


We're all in this alone.

Grogan Emmett


The Worst Musical Trio There are few bad musicians who have a chance to give a recital at a famous concert hall while still learning the rudiments of their instrument. This happened about thirty years ago to the son of a Rumanian gentleman who was

Groucho Marx


It is a wise father that knows his own child.

Grover


Those who do things in a noble spirit of self-sacrifice are to be avoided at all costs.

Guaspari David


Yes, I've now got this nice little apartment in New York, one of those L-shaped ones. Unfortunately, it's a lower case l.

Guido Mark


Delay not, Caesar. Read it instantly.

Guindon


Innovation is hard to schedule.

Guindon


Ninety percent of everything is crap.

Guiness


What passes for optimism is most often the effect of an intellectual error.

Guiness


Long were the days of pain I have spent within its walls, and long were the nights of aloneness; and who can depart from his pain and his aloneness without regret?

Gusenberg Frank


Satire is what closes Saturday night.

Guthrie Arlo


If you hype something and it succeeds, you're a genius

Guzik Jake


Experience is a good teacher, but she sends in terrific bills.

Guzman Adolfo


You have all eternity to be cautious in when you're dead.

Gween Actor Edmond


For certain people, after fifty, litigation takes the place of sex.

Gyles Brandreth





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If you think the problem is bad now, just wait until we've solved it.
Kasspe Arthur

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