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The Bible says that woman was the last thing God made. Evidently He made her on Saturday night. She reveals his fatigue.

G Gen.


In case of fire, stand in the hall and shout "Fire!"

G. Gordon Liddy's


I appreciate the fact that this draft was done in haste, but some of the sentences that you are sending out in the world to do your work for you are loitering in taverns or asleep beside the highway.

G. Roy


A little inaccuracy saves a world of explanation.

G. Roy


My father was a creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, it seems, begins where yours left off.

Galbraith J.K.


If you know the answer to a question, don't ask.

Galbraith J.K.


In breeding cattle you need one bull for every twenty-five cows, unless the cows are known sluts.

Galbraith John Kenneth


The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that, you've got it made.

Galbraith John Kenneth


The most difficult thing in the world is to know how to do a thing and to watch someone else doing it wrong, without commenting.

Galbraith John Kenneth


An investment in knowledge always pays the best interest.

Galilei Galileo


[He] took me into his library and showed me his books, of which he had a complete set.

Gallagher


May you live in uninteresting times.

Gallagher Eugene P.


"MOKE DAT YIGARETTE"

Gallaher M.


There is a secret person undamaged within every individual.

Gallaher M.


An ounce of hypocrisy is worth a pound of ambition.

Galsworthy John


At ebb tide I wrote a line upon the sand, and gave it all my heart and all my soul. At flood tide I returned to read what I had inscribed and found my ignorance upon the shore.

Game


I need another lawyer like I need another hole in my head.

Gandhi


Once there lived a village of creatures along the bottom of a great crystal river. Each creature in its own manner clung tightly to the twigs and rocks of the river bottom, for clinging was their way of life, and resisting the current what each had

Gandhi Indira


Princeton's taste is sweet like a strawberry tart. Harvard's is a subtle taste, like whiskey, coffee, or tobacco. It may even be a bad habit, for all I know.

Gandhi Indira


Competitive fury is not always anger. It is the true missionary's courage and zeal in facing the possibility that one's best may not be enough.

Gandhi Mahatma


The price of success in philosophy is triviality.

Gandhi Mahatma


A priest asked: What is Fate, Master? And the Master answered: It is that which gives a beast of burden its reason for existence. It is that which men in former times had to bear upon their backs. It is that which has caused nations to build bywa

Gandhi Mahatma


were found to be wearing neckwear that was tighter than their neck circumference. The visual discrimination of the 22 subjects was evaluated using a critical flicker frequency (CFF) test. Results of the CFF test indicated that tight neckwear signifi

Gandhi Mahatma


The [Ford Foundation] is a large body of money completely surrounded by people who want some.

Garbers J.


The first requisite for immortality is death.

Garfield


Sometimes a man who deserves to be looked down upon because he is a fool is despised only because he is a lawyer.

Garrison William Lloyd


Let's say your wedding ring falls into your toaster, and when you stick your hand in to retrieve it, you suffer Pain and Suffering as well as Mental Anguish. You would sue: * The toaster manufacturer, for failure to include, in the instructions

Garrison Keillor


A lie is an abomination unto the Lord and a very present help in time of trouble.

Gary Gilmore


Certain passages in several laws have always defied interpretation and the most inexplicable must be a matter of opinion. A judge of the Court of Session of Scotland has sent the editors of this book his candidate which reads, "In the Nuts (unground

Gary Trudeau


So you think that money is the root of all evil. Have you ever asked what is the root of money?

Gasset Jos'e Ortega Y


I love treason but hate a traitor.

Gauguin Paul


Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself.

Gauguin Paul


There is more to life than increasing its speed.

Gaulle Charles de


We have nowhere else to go... this is all we have.

Gaulle Charles de


There is a natural hootchy-kootchy to a goldfish.

Gaultier Jules de


An aphorism is never exactly true; it is either a half-truth or one-and-a-half truths.

Gauss


"I don't mind going nowhere as long as it's an interesting path."

Gauvreay Emile Henry


The primary cause of failure in electrical appliances is an expired warranty. Often, you can get an appliance running again simply by changing the warranty expiration date with a 15/64-inch felt-tipped marker.

Gavin General James


Let's remind ourselves that last year's fresh idea is today's cliche.

Geis R.


Nullum magnum ingenium sine mixtura dementiae fuit. [There is no great genius without some touch of madness.]

Geis R.


It is ridiculous to call this an industry. This is not. This is rat eat rat, dog eat dog. I'll kill 'em, and I'm going to kill 'em before they kill me. You're talking about the American way of survival of the fittest.

Geis R.


Receiving a million dollars tax free will make you feel better than being flat broke and having a stomach ache.

Gene Kirkwood


Honesty's the best policy.

Genter Quentin


For certain people, after fifty, litigation takes the place of sex.

George


No bird soars too high if he soars with his own wings.

George F. Baer railroad


Practice yourself what you preach.

George Kennan


Between 1950 and 1952, a bored weatherman, stationed north of Hudson Bay, left a monument that neither government nor time can eradicate. Using a bulldozer abandoned by the Air Force, he spent two years and great effort pushing boulders into a single

George Saunder


It is Mr. Mellon's credo that $200,000,000 can do no wrong. Our offense consists in doubting it.

George Seldes


There is no fool to the old fool.

Gerald Weinberg


Would ye both eat your cake and have your cake?

Gerould Katharine Fullerton


It's is not, it isn't ain't, and it's it's, not its, if you mean it is. If you don't, it's its. Then too, it's hers. It isn't her's. It isn't our's either. It's ours, and likewise yours and theirs.

Gerrold David


There are many of us in this old world of ours who hold that things break about even for all of us. I have observed, for example, that we all get about the same amount of ice. The rich get it in the summer and the poor get it in the winter.

Gerrold David


... [concerning quotation marks] even if we *___did* quote anybody in this business, it probably would be gibberish.

Gess Bene


The only certainty is that nothing is certain.

Getty J. Paul


All this wheeling and dealing around, why, it isn't for money, it's for fun. Money's just the way we keep score.

Getty J.P.


About the time we think we can make ends meet, somebody moves the ends.

Giancana Sam


Even if you do learn to speak correct English, whom are you going to speak it to?

Giancana Sam e


If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

Gibbon Edward


Consider the postage stamp: its usefulness consists in the ability to stick to one thing till it gets there.

Gibbon Edward


Call on God, but row away from the rocks.

Gibbons Edward


If reporters don't know that truth is plural, they ought to be lawyers.

Gibran Kahlil


Facts are the enemy of truth.

Gibran Kahlil


No small art is it to sleep: it is necessary for that purpose to keep awake all day.

Gibran Kahlil


This is the sort of English up with which I will not put.

Gibson J.J.


How can you prove whether at this moment we are sleeping, and all our thoughts are a dream; or whether we are awake, and talking to one another in the waking state?

Giddens Gary


"You can't survive by sucking the juice from a wet mitten."

Gilbert W.S.


Long were the days of pain I have spent within its walls, and long were the nights of aloneness; and who can depart from his pain and his aloneness without regret?

Gillette George Francis


A good reputation is more valuable than money.

Gilliam E.A.


Never look a gift horse in the mouth.

Ginsberg Allen


Since everything in life is but an experience perfect in being what it is, having nothing to do with good or bad, acceptance or rejection, one may well burst out in laughter.

Ginsberg Allen


All men know the utility of useful things; but they do not know the utility of futility.

Giraudoux Jean


From a certain point onward there is no longer any turning back. That is the point that must be reached.

Giraudoux Jean


Paradise is exactly like where you are right now ... only much, much better.

Glymour. C.


You can no more win a war than you can win an earthquake.

Gnaeus Pompeius


Better late than never.

Gobeil Madeleine


"What was the worst thing you've ever done?" "I won't tell you that, but I'll tell you the worst thing that ever happened to me... the most dreadful thing."

Godwin Gail


The life which is unexamined is not worth living.

Goebbels Josef


A woman who is guided by the head and not by the heart is a social pestilence: she has all the defects of the passionate and affectionate woman, with none of her compensations; she is without pity, without love, without virtue, without sex.

Goering Hermann


When the ax entered the forest, the trees said, "The handle is one of us!"

Goering Hermann


"Well, if you can't believe what you read in a comic book, what *___can* you believe?!"

Goethe


You have all eternity to be cautious in when you're dead.

Goethe


Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.

Goethe


You can tell the ideals of a nation by its advertisements.

Goethe


Love the sea? I dote upon it

Goethe


To do two things at once is to do neither.

Goethe


Some men are heterosexual, and some are bisexual, and some men don't think about sex at all... they become lawyers.

Goethe


Reality is just a convenient measure of complexity.

Goethe Johann Wolfgang von


"There is no Father Christmas. It's just a marketing ploy to make low income parents' lives a misery." "... I want you to picture the trusting face of a child, streaked with tears because of what you just said." "I want you to picture the face of

Goethe Johann van


A sinking ship gathers no moss.

Gold Vic


Death is a spirit leaving a body, sort of like a shell leaving the nut behind.

Gold Barry


When I was in school, I cheated on my metaphysics exam: I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.

Goldenstern


Some people say a front-engine car handles best. Some people say a rear-engine car handles best. I say a rented car handles best.

Goldfinger Auric


Let us not look back in anger or forward in fear, but around us in awareness.

Goldthwait Bobcat


In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes.

Goldwater Barry


A witty saying proves nothing.

Goldwater Barry


There are no answers, only cross-references.

Goldwater Sen. Barry


The optimum committee has no members.

Goldwater Senator Barry


Education and religion are two things not regulated by supply and demand. The less of either the people have, the less they want.

Goldwater Barry


What we wish, that we readily believe.

Goldwater Senator Barry


If ever the pleasure of one has to be bought by the pain of the other, there better be no trade. A trade by which one gains and the other loses is a fraud.

Goldwyn Samuel


It is bad luck to be superstitious.

Goldwyn Samuel


Praise the sea; on shore remain.

Goldwyn Samuel


When properly administered, vacations do not diminish productivity: for every week you're away and get nothing done, there's another when your boss is away and you get twice as much done.

Gondorf Henry


Use an accordion. Go to jail.

Good Glynda the


"No job too big; no fee too big!"

Goodman Saul


Your wig steers the gig.

Gordon Karen Elizabeth


Once he had one leg in the White House and the nation trembled under his roars. Now he is a tinpot pope in the Coca-Cola belt and a brother to the forlorn pastors who belabor halfwits in galvanized iron tabernacles behind the railroad yards."

Gordon George


Nothing is more admirable than the fortitude with which millionaires tolerate the disadvantages of their wealth.

Gorin Amy


The past always looks better than it was. It's only pleasant because it isn't here.

Gorin Amy


This is an especially good time for you vacationers who plan to fly, because the Reagan administration, as part of the same policy under which it recently sold Yellowstone National Park to Wayne Newton, has "deregulated" the airline industry. What t

Gould Jay


Faith is under the left nipple.

Gould Jay


L'hazard ne favorise que l'esprit prepare.

Goulden Joseph C.


Those who educate children well are more to be honored than parents, for these only gave life, those the art of living well.

Goulden Joseph C.


Luck, that's when preparation and opportunity meet.

Goulden Joseph C.


Believe everything you hear about the world; nothing is too impossibly bad.

Grant Cary


In "King Henry VI, Part II," Shakespeare has Dick Butcher suggest to his fellow anti-establishment rabble-rousers, "The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers." That action may be extreme but a similar sentiment was expressed by Thomas K. Co

Grant Cary


Those who do things in a noble spirit of self-sacrifice are to be avoided at all costs.

Gravy Wavy


Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names the streets after them.

Gregory Dick


Prosperity makes friends, adversity tries them.

Greville Fulke


With her body, woman is more sincere than man; but with her mind she lies. And when she lies, she does not believe herself.

Grogan Emmett


Look, we trade every day out there with hustlers, deal-makers, shysters, con-men. That's the way businesses get started. That's the way this country was built.

Groucho Marx


Certain passages in several laws have always defied interpretation and the most inexplicable must be a matter of opinion. A judge of the Court of Session of Scotland has sent the editors of this book his candidate which reads, "In the Nuts (unground

Grover


Work Hard. Rock Hard. Eat Hard. Sleep Hard. Grow Big. Wear Glasses If You Need 'Em.

Guaspari David


(1) Avoid fried meats which angry up the blood. (2) If your stomach antagonizes you, pacify it with cool thoughts. (3) Keep the juices flowing by jangling around gently as you move. (4) Go very lightly on the vices, such as carrying on in society, as

Guido Mark


Men are superior to women.

Guindon


"If once a man indulges himself in murder, very soon he comes to think little of robbing; and from robbing he next comes to drinking and Sabbath-breaking, and from that to incivility and procrastination."

Guindon


The possession of a book becomes a substitute for reading it.

Guiness


If a jury in a criminal trial stays out for more than twenty-four hours, it is certain to vote acquittal, save in those instances where it votes guilty.

Guiness


If we could sell our experiences for what they cost us, we would all be millionaires.

Gusenberg Frank


If a man stay away from his wife for seven years, the law presumes the separation to have killed him; yet according to our daily experience, it might well prolong his life.

Guthrie Arlo


It was the next morning that the armies of Twodor marched east laden with long lances, sharp swords, and death-dealing hangovers. The thousands were led by Arrowroot, who sat limply in his sidesaddle, nursing a whopper. Goodgulf, Gimlet, and the r

Guzik Jake


Lo! Men have become the tool of their tools.

Guzman Adolfo


Housework can kill you if done right.

Gween Actor Edmond


Time goes, you say? Ah no! Time stays, *we* go.

Gyles Brandreth





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In good speaking, should not the mind of the speaker know the truth of the matter about which he is to speak?
Plato

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