The lunatic, the lover, and the poet, Are of imagination all compact...

Before you ask more questions, think about whether you really want to know the answers.

New York now leads the world's great cities in the number of people around whom you shouldn't make a sudden move.

I go on working for the same reason a hen goes on laying eggs.

You knew the job was dangerous when you took it, Fred.

The streets were dark with something more than night.

Producers seem to be so prejudiced against actors who've had no training. And there's no reason for it. So what if I didn't attend the Royal Academy for twelve years? I'm still a professional trying to be the best actress I can. Why doesn't anyone

For fools rush in where angels fear to tread.

Playing an unamplified electric guitar is like strumming on a picnic table.

It's not easy, being green.

It is through symbols that man consciously or unconsciously lives, works and has his being.

Some people say a front-engine car handles best. Some people say a rear-engine car handles best. I say a rented car handles best.

Anything is possible on paper.

It is common sense to take a method and try it. If it fails, admit it frankly and try another. But above all, try something.

If you know the answer to a question, don't ask.

A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats.

Progress was all right. Only it went on too long.

The Worst Car Hire Service When David Schwartz left university in 1972, he set up Rent-a-wreck as a joke. Being a natural prankster, he acquired a fleet of beat-up shabby, wreckages waiting for the scrap heap in California. He put on a cap and lo

America, I'm putting my queer shoulder to the wheel.

You can't expect a boy to be vicious till he's been to a good school.

Man must shape his tools lest they shape him.

The absurd is the essential concept and the first truth.

You're all clear now, kid. Now blow this thing so we can all go home.

Life is one long struggle in the dark.

A prediction is worth twenty explanations.

You are never given a wish without also being given the power to make it true. You may have to work for it, however.

A definition of teaching: casting fake pearls before real swine.

Our policy is, when in doubt, do the right thing.

"No job too big; no fee too big!"

A critic is a bundle of biases held loosely together by a sense of taste.

Writing is turning one's worst moments into money.

Dustin Farnum: Why, yesterday, I had the audience glued to their seats! Oliver Herford: Wonderful! Wonderful! Clever of you to think of it!

Authors (and perhaps columnists) eventually rise to the top of whatever depths they were once able to plumb.

One man's Mede is another man's Persian.

The world is your exercise-book, the pages on which you do your sums. It is not reality, although you can express reality there if you wish. You are also free to write nonsense, or lies, or to tear the pages.

If reporters don't know that truth is plural, they ought to be lawyers.

Of all possible committee reactions to any given agenda item, the reaction that will occur is the one which will liberate the greatest amount of hot air.

The Soviet Union, which has complained recently about alleged anti-Soviet themes in American advertising, lodged an official protest this week against the Ford Motor Company's new campaign: "Hey you stinking, fat Russian, get off my Ford Escort."

"I don't mind going nowhere as long as it's an interesting path."

A good scapegoat is hard to find. A guilty conscience is the mother of invention.

The possession of a book becomes a substitute for reading it.

The problem with any unwritten law is that you don't know where to go to erase it.

The future not being born, my friend, we will abstain from baptizing it.

"If once a man indulges himself in murder, very soon he comes to think little of robbing; and from robbing he next comes to drinking and Sabbath-breaking, and from that to incivility and procrastination."

Long were the days of pain I have spent within its walls, and long were the nights of aloneness; and who can depart from his pain and his aloneness without regret?

The only cultural advantage LA has over NY is that you can make a right turn on a red light.

Remembering is for those who have forgotten.

Armenians and Azerbaijanis in Stepanakert, capital of the Nagorno-Karabakh autonomous region, rioted over much needed spelling reform in the Soviet Union.

Life is like a 10 speed bicycle. Most of us have gears we never use.

Rome was not built in one day.

Every man thinks God is on his side. The rich and powerful know that he is.

Among all savage beasts, none is found so harmful as woman.

A woman who is unfaithful deserves to be shot.

Isn't it nice that people who prefer Los Angeles to San Francisco live there?

He knows not how to know who knows not also how to unknow.

Yet creeds mean very little, Coth answered the dark god, still speaking almost gently. The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this is true.

The Bible says that woman was the last thing God made. Evidently He made her on Saturday night. She reveals his fatigue.

Would it help if I got out and pushed?

All is well that ends well.

Gauls! We have nothing to fear; except perhaps that the sky may fall on our heads tomorrow. But as we all know, tomorrow never comes!!

When you make your mark in the world, watch out for guys with erasers.

"You've got to have a gimmick if your band sucks."

Television has proved that people will look at anything rather than each other.

I remember when legal used to mean lawful, now it means some kind of loophole.

"What was the worst thing you've ever done?" "I won't tell you that, but I'll tell you the worst thing that ever happened to me... the most dreadful thing."

Art is either plagiarism or revolution.

So little time, so little to do.

The average Ph.D thesis is nothing but the transference of bones from one graveyard to another.

All this wheeling and dealing around, why, it isn't for money, it's for fun. Money's just the way we keep score.

I remember once being on a station platform in Cleveland at four in the morning. A black porter was carrying my bags, and as we were waiting for the train to come in, he said to me: "Excuse me, Mr. Cooke, I don't want to invade your privacy, but I h

You don't move to Edina, you achieve Edina.

This novel is not to be tossed lightly aside, but to be hurled with great force.

[Americans] are a race of convicts and ought to be thankful for anything we allow them short of hanging.

Since everything in life is but an experience perfect in being what it is, having nothing to do with good or bad, acceptance or rejection, one may well burst out in laughter.

Very few blacks will take up golf until the requirement for plaid pants is dropped.

It's hard to drive at the limit, but it's harder to know where the limits are.

Two can Live as Cheaply as One for Half as Long.

Honesty's the best policy.

Kindness is the beginning of cruelty.

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A fool's brain digests philosophy into folly, science into superstition, and art into pedantry. Hence University education.

[District Attorneys] learn in District Attorney School that there are two sure-fire ways to get a lot of favorable publicity: (1) Go down and raid all the lockers in the local high school and confiscate 53 marijuana cigarettes and put them in a

I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday and I love today.

per year.

Sho' they got to have it against the law. Shoot, ever'body git high, they wouldn't be nobody git up and feed the chickens. Hee-hee.

Let me assure you that to us here at First National, you're not just a number. Youre two numbers, a dash, three more numbers, another dash and another number.

The primary cause of failure in electrical appliances is an expired warranty. Often, you can get an appliance running again simply by changing the warranty expiration date with a 15/64-inch felt-tipped marker.

Non-Determinism is not meant to be reasonable.

Feminists say 60 percent of the country's wealth is in the hands of women. They're letting men hold the other 40 percent because their handbags are full.

Receiving a million dollars tax free will make you feel better than being flat broke and having a stomach ache.

How should they answer?

Trust in Allah, but tie your camel.

Plastic... Aluminum... These are the inheritors of the Universe! Flesh and Blood have had their day... and that day is past!

The two most beautiful words in the English language are "Cheque Enclosed."

You can never do just one thing.

From a certain point onward there is no longer any turning back. That is the point that must be reached.

When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened. It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to

Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.

Fain would I climb, yet fear I to fall.

I have had my television aerials removed. It's the moral equivalent of a prostate operation.

If we see the light at the end of the tunnel, it's the light of an oncoming train.

"All snakes who wish to remain in Ireland will please raise their right hands."

The most common given name in the world is Mohammad; the most common family name in the world is Chang. Can you imagine the enormous number of people in the world named Mohammad Chang?

Only that in you which is me can hear what I'm saying.

I just asked myself... what would John DeLorean do?

The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence.

Time is the most valuable thing a man can spend.

When your work speaks for itself, don't interrupt.

If any man wishes to be humbled and mortified, let him become president of Harvard.

The past always looks better than it was. It's only pleasant because it isn't here.

You may have heard that a dean is to faculty as a hydrant is to a dog.

"Are you police officers?" "No, ma'am. We're musicians."

Force has no place where there is need of skill.

What an artist dies with me!

There's nothing to writing. All you do is sit at a typewriter and open a vein.

The only happiness lies in reason; all the rest of the world is dismal. The highest reason, however, I see in the work of the artist, and he may experience it as such. Happiness lies in the swiftness of feeling and thinking: all the rest of the worl

"There was an interesting development in the CBS-Westmoreland trial: both sides agreed that after the trial, Andy Rooney would be allowed to talk to the jury for three minutes about little things that annoyed him during the trial."

Our business in life is not to succeed but to continue to fail in high spirits.

The only thing that experience teaches us is that experience teaches us nothing.

Depend on the rabbit's foot if you will, but remember, it didn't help the rabbit.

Death is life's way of telling you you've been fired.

The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in the mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function.

I: The best way to make a silk purse from a sow's ear is to begin with a silk sow. The same is true of money. II: If today were half as good as tomorrow is supposed to be, it would probably be twice as good as yesterday was. III: There are

Just because you like my stuff doesn't mean I owe you anything.

The Worst Jury A murder trial at Manitoba in February 1978 was well advanced, when one juror revealed that he was completely deaf and did not have the remotest clue what was happening. The judge, Mr. Justice Solomon, asked him if he had heard any

Save a little money each month and at the end of the year you'll be surprised at how little you have.

"Consequences, Schmonsequences, as long as I'm rich."

When the going gets tough, everyone leaves.

In dwelling, be close to the land. In meditation, delve deep into the heart. In dealing with others, be gentle and kind. In speech, be true. In work, be competent. In action, be careful of your timing.

Never have so many understood so little about so much.

What fools these mortals be.

If I could reach, I'd never leave the house.

So you think that money is the root of all evil. Have you ever asked what is the root of money?