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She cried, and the judge wiped her tears with my checkbook.

H.G. Wells

In case of fire, stand in the hall and shout "Fire!"

Ha Nate

Fortune Documents the Great Legal Decisions: We think that we may take judicial notice of the fact that the term "bitch" may imply some feeling of endearment when applied to a female of the canine species but that it is seldom, if ever, so used whe

Hagen Walter

Happiness isn't something you experience; it's something you remember.

Hague Frank

Nothing is so firmly believed as that which we least know.

Hahn Tim

Plastic... Aluminum... These are the inheritors of the Universe! Flesh and Blood have had their day... and that day is past!

Haig Alexander

I value kindness to human beings first of all, and kindness to animals. I don't respect the law; I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger, the food cheaper, and old men

Haldeman H.R.

The 'A' is for content, the 'minus' is for not typing it. Don't ever do this to my eyes again.

Half-Constru Racter

If you wish to be happy for one hour, get drunk. If you wish to be happy for three days, get married. If you wish to be happy for a month, kill your pig and eat it. If you wish to be happy forever, learn to fish.

Hallock Addison H.

So little time, so little to do.

Halsey Admiral William

"There was an interesting development in the CBS-Westmoreland trial: both sides agreed that after the trial, Andy Rooney would be allowed to talk to the jury for three minutes about little things that annoyed him during the trial."

Hamilton Alexander

"No job too big; no fee too big!"

Hamilton Alexander

Competence, like truth, beauty, and contact lenses, is in the eye of the beholder.

Hamilton Edith

There is no doubt that my lawyer is honest. For example, when he filed his income tax return last year, he declared half of his salary as 'unearned income.'

Hamlet Dick

When I was in school, I cheated on my metaphysics exam: I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.

Hammarskjold Dag

I am a man: nothing human is alien to me.

Hampton Christopher

You get what you pay for.

Handley Jack

Those who educate children well are more to be honored than parents, for these only gave life, those the art of living well.


Fill what's empty, empty what's full, scratch where it itches.

Hardin Salvor

Luck can't last a lifetime, unless you die young.

Harding Warren G.

There is no comfort without pain; thus we define salvation through suffering.

Harper Lucille S.

When the blind lead the blind they will both fall over the cliff.

Harper Roy

L'hazard ne favorise que l'esprit prepare.

Harris Sidney

In charity there is no excess.

Harris Sydney

... a thing called Ethics, whose nature was confusing but if you had it you were a High-Class Realtor and if you hadn't you were a shyster, a piker and a fly-by-night. These virtues awakened Confidence and enabled you to handle Bigger Propositions.

Harris Sydney J.

I'll turn over a new leaf.

Harris Sydney J.

An idea is an eye given by God for the seeing of God. Some of these eyes we cannot bear to look out of, we blind them as quickly as possible.

Harris Sydney J.

There must be more to life than having everything.

Harris Sydney J.

Aim for the moon. If you miss, you may hit a star.


There seems no plan because it is all plan.

Harrold Mark

The shortest distance between two points is under construction.

Harry Dirty

Certain passages in several laws have always defied interpretation and the most inexplicable must be a matter of opinion. A judge of the Court of Session of Scotland has sent the editors of this book his candidate which reads, "In the Nuts (unground

Harry Dirty

The individual choice of garnishment of a burger can be an important point to the consumer in this day when individualism is an increasingly important thing to people.

Hart Johnny

Kindness is the beginning of cruelty.


There is always something new out of Africa.

Haskins Ernest

Between 1950 and 1952, a bored weatherman, stationed north of Hudson Bay, left a monument that neither government nor time can eradicate. Using a bulldozer abandoned by the Air Force, he spent two years and great effort pushing boulders into a single

Hawes J.

My father was a creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, it seems, begins where yours left off.


If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.

Hawley Cameron

A snake lurks in the grass.

Hayakawa S.I.

The Law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich, as well as the poor, to sleep under the bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread.

Hazlitt William

Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet?

Heidi Hartmann

The only promotion rules I can think of are that a sense of shame is to be avoided at all costs and there is never any reason for a hustler to be less cunning than more virtuous men. Oh yes ... whenever you think you've got something really great, a


There is no cure for birth and death other than to enjoy the interval.

Heinlein R.A.

A likely impossibility is always preferable to an unconvincing possibility.

Heinlein Robert

All this wheeling and dealing around, why, it isn't for money, it's for fun. Money's just the way we keep score.

Heinlein Robert

From a certain point onward there is no longer any turning back. That is the point that must be reached.

Heller Joseph

It is common sense to take a method and try it. If it fails, admit it frankly and try another. But above all, try something.

Heller Robert

Alas, I am dying beyond my means.

Heller Joseph

If you want divine justice, die.

Heller Joseph

I BET WHAT HAPPENED was they discovered fire and invented the wheel on the same day. Then that night, they burned the wheel.

Heller Joseph

If reporters don't know that truth is plural, they ought to be lawyers.

Heller Joseph

Everything is possible. Pass the word.

Hellman Lillian

All of the true things I am about to tell you are shameless lies.

Hemingway Ernest

Nothing will dispel enthusiasm like a small admission fee.

Hemingway Ernest

He thought of Musashi, the Sword Saint, standing in his garden more than three hundred years ago. "What is the 'Body of a rock'?" he was asked. In answer, Musashi summoned a pupil of his and bid him kill himself by slashing his abdomen with a knife.

Hemingway Peter Applebome

What!? Me worry?

Hendrix Robert James Marshall

For if there is a sin against life, it consists perhaps not so much in despairing of life as in hoping for another life and in eluding the implacable grandeur of this life.

Henrik Ibsen

You have to run as fast as you can just to stay where you are. If you want to get anywhere, you'll have to run much faster.

Henry Durant

Given a choice between grief and nothing, I'd choose grief.

Henry James

Beware of all enterprises that require new clothes, and not rather a new wearer of clothes.

Henry Robert

Women are nothing but machines for producing children.

Hepbur Dorothy Parker

Save the Whales


Whom the mad would destroy, first they make Gods.

Herbert A.P.

If the colleges were better, if they really had it, you would need to get the police at the gates to keep order in the inrushing multitude. See in college how we thwart the natural love of learning by leaving the natural method of teaching what each

Herbert Frank

The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that, you've got it made.

Herbert Frank

Suffering alone exists, none who suffer; The deed there is, but no doer thereof; Nirvana is, but no one is seeking it; The Path there is, but none who travel it.

Herbert Hoover

Nothing succeeds like success.


No evil can happen to a good man.


Too much of everything is just enough.


Chance is perhaps the work of God when He did not want to sign.


The first rule of intelligent tinkering is to save all the parts.


Odets, where is thy sting?

Heroi Stephen Pile

Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils.

Heroi Stephen Pile

The ratio of literacy to illiteracy is a constant, but nowadays the illiterates can read.

Heroi Stephen Pile

Think sideways!

Heroi Stephen Pile

Life is the childhood of our immortality.

Heroi Stephen Pile

I remember when legal used to mean lawful, now it means some kind of loophole.

Heroi Stephen Pile

A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on.

Heroi Stephen Pile

A journey of a thousand miles starts under one's feet.

Herold Don

The more laws and order are made prominent, the more thieves and robbers there will be.

Heywood John

Long were the days of pain I have spent within its walls, and long were the nights of aloneness; and who can depart from his pain and his aloneness without regret?

Heywood John

A committee takes root and grows, it flowers, wilts and dies, scattering the seed from which other committees will bloom.

Heywood John

Don't tell me how hard you work. Tell me how much you get done.

Heywood John

Some people say a front-engine car handles best. Some people say a rear-engine car handles best. I say a rented car handles best.

Heywood John

The meek shall inherit the earth, but *not* its mineral rights.

Heywood John

What one fool can do, another can.

Heywood John

We have lingered long enough on the shores of the Cosmic Ocean.

Heywood John

Our policy is, when in doubt, do the right thing.

Heywood John

Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

Heywood John

The adjective is the banana peel of the parts of speech.

Heywood John

If I could drop dead right now, I'd be the happiest man alive!

Heywood John

We're fantastically incredibly sorry for all these extremely unreasonable things we did. I can only plead that my simple, barely-sentient friend and myself are underprivileged, deprived and also college students.

Heywood John

Nothing will ever be attempted if all possible objections must be first overcome.

Heywood John

Judges, as a class, display, in the matter of arranging alimony, that reckless generosity which is found only in men who are giving away someone else's cash.

Heywood John

A committee is a group that keeps the minutes and loses hours.

Heywood John

No is no negative in a woman's mouth.

Hicks D.J.

Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it.

Hickson W.E.

Who does not trust enough will not be trusted.

Hightower Jim

"I don't mind going nowhere as long as it's an interesting path."

Hildebrand Joel

Would ye both eat your cake and have your cake?

Hinckley John

Home is where the hurt is.

Hindu Code

Marijuana will be legal some day, because the many law students who now smoke pot will someday become congressmen and legalize it in order to protect themselves.

Hinojosa Daniel

The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence.


There is no proverb that is not true.

Hitler Adolf

Haste makes waste.

Hitler Adolf

Bullwinkle: You just leave that to my pal. He's the brains of the outfit. General: What does that make YOU? Bullwinkle: What else? An executive.

Hitler Adolf

Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years.

Hitler Adolf

If a fool persists in his folly he shall become wise.

Hitler Adolf

The greatest griefs are those we cause ourselves.

Hitler Adolf

If a jury in a criminal trial stays out for more than twenty-four hours, it is certain to vote acquittal, save in those instances where it votes guilty.

Hitler Adolph

For certain people, after fifty, litigation takes the place of sex.

Hitler Adolph

Work is the crab grass in the lawn of life.

Hitler Adolph

Some men are heterosexual, and some are bisexual, and some men don't think about sex at all... they become lawyers.

Hobbs Calvin and

The life which is unexamined is not worth living.

Hodder-Williams Christopher

As well look for a needle in a bottle of hay.

Hoest Bill

Maternity pay? Now every Tom, Dick and Harry will get pregnant.

Hoffer Eric

Arrakis teaches the attitude of the knife - chopping off what's incomplete and saying: "Now it's complete because it's ended here."

Hoffer Eric

Better tried by twelve than carried by six.

Hoffman A.

Sensible and responsible women do not want to vote.

Hoffman Abbie

Mankind is poised midway between the gods and the beasts.

Holla Xaviera

If we don't survive, we don't do anything else.

Holmes Oliver Wendell

Only those who leisurely approach that which the masses are busy about can be busy about that which the masses take leisurely.

Holmes Oliver Wendell

For every bloke who makes his mark, there's half a dozen waiting to rub it out.

Holmes Sherlock

Death is a spirit leaving a body, sort of like a shell leaving the nut behind.

Holmes Sherlock

The real purpose of books is to trap the mind into doing its own thinking.

Holyoke Edward

Honesty pays, but it doesn't seem to pay enough to suit some people.

Holzer Jenny

Progress might have been all right once, but it's gone on too long.


Nitwit ideas are for emergencies. You use them when you've got nothing else to try. If they work, they go in the Book. Otherwise you follow the Book, which is largely a collection of nitwit ideas that worked.


"If once a man indulges himself in murder, very soon he comes to think little of robbing; and from robbing he next comes to drinking and Sabbath-breaking, and from that to incivility and procrastination."

Honda. Harpoon a

I have ways of making money that you know nothing of.

Hook Sidney

By working faithfully eight hours a day, you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve.

Hoover Herbert

You can tell the ideals of a nation by its advertisements.

Hoover Herbert

There's no justice in this world.

Hoover J. Edgar

Genius is pain.

Hoover J. Edgar

It is your concern when your neighbor's wall is on fire.

Hoover J. Edgar

Housework can kill you if done right.

Hoover J. Edgar

The great question that has never been answered and which I have not yet been able to answer despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul is: WHAT DOES A WOMAN WANT?

Hope A.

Three minutes' thought would suffice to find this out; but thought is irksome and three minutes is a long time.

Hope Bob

While there's life, there's hope.

Hope Bob

Death is life's way of telling you you've been fired.

Hoppe Art

Lots of folks confuse bad management with destiny.

Hopper Grace Murray

A continuing flow of paper is sufficient to continue the flow of paper.

Hopper Grace Murray

We have reason to be afraid. This is a terrible place.


Beauty is one of the rare things which does not lead to doubt of God.


If any man wishes to be humbled and mortified, let him become president of Harvard.


Horner M.


Horning Jim

I paid a visit to my local precinct in Greenwich Village and asked a sergeant to show me some rape statistics. He politely obliged. That month there had been thirty-five rape complaints, an advance of ten over the same month for the previous year.

Houghton Blair

A sad spectacle. If they be inhabited, what a scope for misery and folly. If they be not inhabited, what a waste of space.

Houseman A.E.

The world wants to be deceived.

Howe E.W.

It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle if it is lightly greased.

Howe Edgar W.

The error of youth is to believe that intelligence is a substitute for experience, while the error of age is to believe experience is a substitute for intelligence.

Howe Irving

Practical people would be more practical if they would take a little more time for dreaming.

Howe Nathaniel

I value kindness to human beings first of all, and kindness to animals. I don't respect the law; I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger, the food cheaper, and old men

Hubbard Elbert

The problem that we thought was a problem was, indeed, a problem, but not the problem we thought was the problem.

Hubbard Elbert

You can no more win a war than you can win an earthquake.

Hubbard Elbert

He that bringeth a present, findeth the door open.

Hubbard Elbert

Let us not look back in anger or forward in fear, but around us in awareness.

Hubbard Elbert

If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library?

Hubbard Elbert

Let me assure you that to us here at First National, you're not just a number. Youre two numbers, a dash, three more numbers, another dash and another number.

Hubbard F.M.

I was in this prematurely air conditioned supermarket and there were all these aisles and there were these bathing caps you could buy that had these kind of Fourth of July plumes on them that were red and yellow and blue and I wasn't tempted to buy

Hubbard Frank

God gave man two ears and one tongue so that we listen twice as much as we speak.

Hubbard Frank

Term, holidays, term, holidays, till we leave school, and then work, work, work till we die.

Hubbard Kim

I value kindness to human beings first of all, and kindness to animals. I don't respect the law; I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger, the food cheaper, and old men

Hubbard Kim

HR 3128. Omnibus Budget Reconciliation, Fiscal 1986. Martin, R-Ill., motion that the House recede from its disagreement to the Senate amendment making changes in the bill to reduce fiscal 1986 deficits. The Senate amendment was an amendment to the

Hubbard Kim

Executive ability is deciding quickly and getting somebody else to do the work.

Hubbard Kin

Truth never comes into the world but like a bastard, to the ignominy of him that brought her birth.

Hubbard Kin

There is a secret person undamaged within every individual.

Hubbard L. Ron

Business will be either better or worse.

Hubbard L. Ron

Charity begins at home.

Hudson Henry

Who dat who say "who dat" when I say "who dat"?

Hugo Victor

Mental power tended to corrupt, and absolute intelligence tended to corrupt absolutely, until the victim eschewed violence entirely in favor of smart solutions to stupid problems.

Hugo Victor

The Poems, all three hundred of them, may be summed up in one of their phrases: "Let our thoughts be correct".

Hugo Victor

You cannot see the wood for the trees.

Hugo Victor

It is bad luck to be superstitious.

Humphrey Hubert

XLI: The more one produces, the less one gets. XLII: Simple systems are not feasible because they require infinite testing. XLIII: Hardware works best when it matters the least. XLIV: Aircraft flight in the 21st century will always be in a we

Hunter S. Thompson

Plus ,ca change, plus c'est la m^eme chose. [The more things change, the more they remain the same.]

Huntingd Collis P.

No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.

Hurley Jack

In the long run we are all dead.

Huron Port

I know not how I came into this, shall I call it a dying life or a living death?

Hutchins Robert M.

Laws are like sausages. It's better not to see them being made.

Huxley Aldous

Wisdom is knowing what to do with what you know.

Huxley Aldous

If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?

hy it wasn't a hype. If you

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My dear People. My dear Bagginses and Boffins, and my dear Tooks and Brandybucks, and Grubbs, and Chubbs, and Burrowses, and Hornblowers, and Bolgers, Bracegirdles, Goodbodies, Brockhouses and Proudfoots. Also my good Sackville Bagginses that I w
Tolkien J. R. R.

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