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"The Right Honorable Gentleman is indebted to his memory for his jests and to his imagination for his facts."

H.G. Wells


The introduction of a new kind of music must be shunned as imperiling the whole state, for styles of music are never disturbed without affecting the most important political institutions. ... The new style, gradually gaining a lodgement, quitely ins

Ha Nate


Time is but the stream I go a-fishing in.

Hagen Walter


Nullum magnum ingenium sine mixtura dementiae fuit. [There is no great genius without some touch of madness.]

Hague Frank


I can't understand why a person will take a year or two to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars.

Hahn Tim


When your work speaks for itself, don't interrupt.

Haig Alexander


A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats.

Haldeman H.R.


Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich.

Half-Constru Racter


If a man stay away from his wife for seven years, the law presumes the separation to have killed him; yet according to our daily experience, it might well prolong his life.

Hallock Addison H.


"Rembrandt's first name was Beauregard, which is why he never used it."

Halsey Admiral William


A word to the wise is enough.

Hamilton Alexander


Naked children have never played in _o_u_r fountains, and I.M. Pei will never be happy on Route 66.

Hamilton Alexander


If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world.

Hamilton Edith


A sinking ship gathers no moss.

Hamlet Dick


No evil can happen to a good man.

Hammarskjold Dag


It is not doing the thing we like to do, but liking the thing we have to do, that makes life blessed.

Hampton Christopher


The optimist thinks that this is the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist knows it.

Handley Jack


Well, we'll really have a party, but we've gotta post a guard outside.

Hardin


Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time to reform.

Hardin Salvor


It doesn't matter whether you win or lose

Harding Warren G.


Crime does not pay ... as well as politics.

Harper Lucille S.


The philosopher's treatment of a question is like the treatment of an illness.

Harper Roy


There is hopeful symbolism in the fact that flags do not wave in a vacuum.

Harris Sidney


Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do. Play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do.

Harris Sydney


If a man stay away from his wife for seven years, the law presumes the separation to have killed him; yet according to our daily experience, it might well prolong his life.

Harris Sydney J.


Go ahead... make my day.

Harris Sydney J.


Vice-President Hubert Humphrey's loquacity is legendary, and Barry Goldwater notes that "Hubert has been clocked at 275 words a minute with gusts up to 340." On the campaign trail during 1964, Republican nominee Barry Goldwater stated, "The imme

Harris Sydney J.


Moderation is a fatal thing. Nothing succeeds like excess.

Harris Sydney J.


Those who educate children well are more to be honored than parents, for these only gave life, those the art of living well.

Harrison


AWAKE! FEAR! FIRE! FOES! AWAKE! FEAR! FIRE! FOES! AWAKE! AWAKE!

Harrold Mark


Just because you like my stuff doesn't mean I owe you anything.

Harry Dirty


You have all the characteristics of a popular politician: a horrible voice, bad breeding, and a vulgar manner.

Harry Dirty


Playing an unamplified electric guitar is like strumming on a picnic table.

Hart Johnny


Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely.

Hartm


If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.

Haskins Ernest


The 'A' is for content, the 'minus' is for not typing it. Don't ever do this to my eyes again.

Hawes J.


The most common given name in the world is Mohammad; the most common family name in the world is Chang. Can you imagine the enormous number of people in the world named Mohammad Chang?

Hawkwind


In the first place, God made idiots; this was for practice; then he made school boards.

Hawley Cameron


The whole religious complexion of the modern world is due to the absence from Jerusalem of a lunatic asylum.

Hayakawa S.I.


On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does.

Hazlitt William


For there are moments when one can neither think nor feel. And if one can neither think nor feel, she thought, where is one?

Heidi Hartmann


"I'd like to start a new religion. One that doesn't use a dead young man as its logo."

Heine


The first myth of management is that it exists. The second myth of management is that success equals skill.

Heinlein R.A.


The fact that people are poor or discriminated against doesn't necessarily endow them with any special qualities of justice, nobility, charity or compassion.

Heinlein Robert


The genius of our ruling class is that it has kept a majority of the people from ever questioning the inequity of a system where most people drudge along paying heavy taxes for which they get nothing in return.

Heinlein Robert


A platitude is simply a truth repeated till people get tired of hearing it.

Heller Joseph


Well, don't worry about it... It's nothing.

Heller Robert


By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity. Another man's, I mean.

Heller Joseph


The two oldest professions in the world have been ruined by amateurs.

Heller Joseph


The only "ism" Hollywood believes in is plagiarism.

Heller Joseph


Every cloud engenders not a storm.

Heller Joseph


One, with God, is always a majority, but many a martyr has been burned at the stake while the votes were being counted.

Hellman Lillian


If I had any humility I would be perfect.

Hemingway Ernest


Anyone who has had a bull by the tail knows five or six more things than someone who hasn't.

Hemingway Ernest


Men freely believe that what they wish to desire.

Hemingway Peter Applebome


And tomorrow will be like today, only more so.

Hendrix Robert James Marshall


Do not despair of life. You have no doubt force enough to overcome your obstacles. Think of the fox prowling through wood and field in a winter night for something to satisfy his hunger. Notwithstanding cold and hounds and traps, his race survives

Henrik Ibsen


I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America and to the republic for which it stands, one nation, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.

Henry Durant


... difference of opinion is advantagious in religion. The several sects perform the office of a common censor morum over each other. Is uniformity attainable? Millions of innocent men, women, and children, since the introduction of Christianity,

Henry James


Ignorance is never out of style. It was in fashion yesterday, it is the rage today, and it will set the pace tomorrow.

Henry Robert


And they mainly want to teach them not to question, not to imagine, but to be obedient and behave well so that they can hold them forever as children to their bosom as the second millennium lurches toward its panicky close.

Hepbur Dorothy Parker


If a guru falls in the forest with no one to hear him, was he really a guru at all?

Heraclitus


I'll never get off this planet.

Herbert A.P.


Education is the process of casting false pearls before real swine.

Herbert Frank


The warning message we sent the Russians was a calculated ambiguity that would be clearly understood.

Herbert Frank


We should keep the Panama Canal. After all, we stole it fair and square.

Herbert Hoover


Concerning the war in Vietnam, Senator George Aiken of Vermount noted in January, 1966, "I'm not very keen for doves or hawks. I think we need more owls."

Herodotus


The eye is a menace to clear sight, the ear is a menace to subtle hearing, the mind is a menace to wisdom, every organ of the senses is a menace to its own capacity. ... Fuss, the god of the Southern Ocean, and Fret, the god of the Northern Ocean, h

Herodotus


"Given the choice between accomplishing something and just lying around, I'd rather lie around. No contest."

Herodotus


If ever the pleasure of one has to be bought by the pain of the other, there better be no trade. A trade by which one gains and the other loses is a fraud.

Herodotus


Likewise, the national appetizer, brine-cured herring with raw onions, wins few friends, Germans excepted.

Herodotus


If a man loses his reverence for any part of life, he will lose his reverence for all of life.

Heroi Stephen Pile


Every man who has reached even his intellectual teens begins to suspect that life is no farce; that it is not genteel comedy even; that it flowers and fructifies on the contrary out of the profoundest tragic depths of the essential death in which its

Heroi Stephen Pile


Just as most issues are seldom black or white, so are most good solutions seldom black or white. Beware of the solution that requires one side to be totally the loser and the other side to be totally the winner. The reason there are two sides to be

Heroi Stephen Pile


Fill what's empty, empty what's full, scratch where it itches.

Heroi Stephen Pile


When you have an efficient government, you have a dictatorship.

Heroi Stephen Pile


As Gen. de Gaulle occassionally acknowledges America to be the daughter of Europe, so I am pleased to come to Yale, the daughter of Harvard.

Heroi Stephen Pile


"It was a Roman who said it was sweet to die for one's country. The Greeks never said it was sweet to die for anything. They had no vital lies."

Heroi Stephen Pile


What an artist dies with me!

Herold Don


After all, all he did was string together a lot of old, well-known quotations.

Heywood John


Talkers are no good doers.

Heywood John


A great empire, like a great cake, is most easily diminished at the edges.

Heywood John


Competitive fury is not always anger. It is the true missionary's courage and zeal in facing the possibility that one's best may not be enough.

Heywood John


Let's remind ourselves that last year's fresh idea is today's cliche.

Heywood John


You or I must yield up his life to Ahrimanes. I would rather it were you. I should have no hesitation in sacrificing my own life to spare yours, but we take stock next week, and it would not be fair on the company.

Heywood John


A racially integrated community is a chronological term timed from the entrance of the first black family to the exit of the last white family.

Heywood John


My daddy's brains was so scrambled he thought he was Jesus. They put him in a nut house for 5 years and when he got out, he didn't think he was Jesus, he thought he was *God*! ... Which made me Jesus.

Heywood John


Politics is not the art of the possible. It consists in choosing between the disastrous and the unpalatable.

Heywood John


Scrubbing floors and emptying bedpans has as much dignity as the Presidency.

Heywood John


You may have heard that a dean is to faculty as a hydrant is to a dog.

Heywood John


Knowledge is power.

Heywood John


A political man can have as his aim the realization of freedom, but he has no means to realize it other than through violence.

Heywood John


"I have to convince you, or at least snow you ..."

Heywood John


There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?

Heywood John


The truth of a thing is the feel of it, not the think of it.

Heywood John


The error of youth is to believe that intelligence is a substitute for experience, while the error of age is to believe experience is a substitute for intelligence.

Hicks D.J.


The way I understand it, the Russians are sort of a combination of evil and incompetence... sort of like the Post Office with tanks.

Hickson W.E.


When I first arrived in this country I had only fifteen cents in my pocket and a willingness to compromise.

Hightower Jim


In every country and every age, the priest has been hostile to Liberty.

Hildebrand Joel


There are three rules for writing a novel. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are.

Hinckley John


Life is too short to be taken seriously.

Hindu Code


Work Hard. Rock Hard. Eat Hard. Sleep Hard. Grow Big. Wear Glasses If You Need 'Em.

Hinojosa Daniel


I value kindness to human beings first of all, and kindness to animals. I don't respect the law; I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger, the food cheaper, and old men

Hippocrates


Getting kicked out of the American Bar Association is liked getting kicked out of the Book-of-the-Month Club.

Hitler Adolf


We're constantly being bombarded by insulting and humiliating music, which people are making for you the way they make those Wonder Bread products. Just as food can be bad for your system, music can be bad for your spirtual and emotional feelings. I

Hitler Adolf


Objectivity is to a newspaper what virtue is to a woman.

Hitler Adolf


If you aren't rich you should always look useful.

Hitler Adolf


Practical politics consists in ignoring facts.

Hitler Adolf


I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark.

Hitler Adolf


If a nation values anything more than freedom, it will lose its freedom; and the irony of it is that if it is comfort or money it values more, it will lose that, too.

Hitler Adolph


... but as records of courts and justice are admissible, it can easily be proved that powerful and malevolent magicians once existed and were a scourge to mankind. The evidence (including confession) upon which certain women were convicted of witch

Hitler Adolph


A good scapegoat is hard to find. A guilty conscience is the mother of invention.

Hitler Adolph


According to the Rand McNally Places-Rated Almanac, the best place to live in America is the city of Pittsburgh. The city of New York came in twenty-fifth. Here in New York we really don't care too much. Because we know that we could beat up their

Hobbs Calvin and


Democracy is a form of government in which it is permitted to wonder aloud what the country could do under first-class management.

Hodder-Williams Christopher


Destiny is a good thing to accept when it's going your way. When it isn't, don't call it destiny; call it injustice, treachery, or simple bad luck.

Hoest Bill


War is much too serious a matter to be entrusted to the military.

Hoffer Eric


I never deny, I never contradict. I sometimes forget.

Hoffer Eric


Either I'm dead or my watch has stopped.

Hoffman A.


A prisoner of war is a man who tries to kill you and fails, and then asks you not to kill him.

Hoffman Abbie


God help those who do not help themselves.

Holla Xaviera


To add insult to injury.

Holmes Oliver Wendell


A Galileo could no more be elected president of the United States than he could be elected Pope of Rome. Both high posts are reserved for men favored by God with an extraordinary genius for swathing the bitter facts of life in bandages of self-illus

Holmes Oliver Wendell


Plastic... Aluminum... These are the inheritors of the Universe! Flesh and Blood have had their day... and that day is past!

Holmes Sherlock


Tempt not a desperate man.

Holmes Sherlock


That government is best which governs least.

Holyoke Edward


We rarely find anyone who can say he has lived a happy life, and who, content with his life, can retire from the world like a satisfied guest.

Holzer Jenny


Ten years of rejection slips is nature's way of telling you to stop writing.

Homer


Let's say your wedding ring falls into your toaster, and when you stick your hand in to retrieve it, you suffer Pain and Suffering as well as Mental Anguish. You would sue: * The toaster manufacturer, for failure to include, in the instructions

Homer


"Not only is God dead, but just try to find a plumber on weekends."

Honda. Harpoon a


A thing is not necessarily true because a man dies for it.

Hook Sidney


A likely impossibility is always preferable to an unconvincing possibility.

Hoover Herbert


He thinks the Gettysburg Address is where Lincoln lived.

Hoover Herbert


When, in 1964, New Hampshire Republican Senator Norris Cotton announced his support of Bary Goldwater in his state's primary election, he was questioned as to whether this indicated a change of his hitherto "liberal" political views. "Well," expla

Hoover J. Edgar


In the long run we are all dead.

Hoover J. Edgar


Sho' they got to have it against the law. Shoot, ever'body git high, they wouldn't be nobody git up and feed the chickens. Hee-hee.

Hoover J. Edgar


The rights you have are the rights given you by this Committee [the House Un-American Activities Committee]. We will determine what rights you have and what rights you have not got.

Hoover J. Edgar


Thieves respect property; they merely wish the property to become their property that they may more perfectly respect it.

Hope A.


We must remember that in time of war what is said on the enemy's side of the front is always propaganda and what is said on our side of the front is truth and righteousness, the cause of humanity and a crusade for peace.

Hope Bob


Perhaps the remembrance of these things will prove a source of future pleasure.

Hope Bob


The life which is unexamined is not worth living.

Hoppe Art


If I had a plantation in Georgia and a home in Hell, I'd sell the plantation and go home.

Hopper Grace Murray


He jests at scars who never felt a wound.

Hopper Grace Murray


A woman who is guided by the head and not by the heart is a social pestilence: she has all the defects of the passionate and affectionate woman, with none of her compensations; she is without pity, without love, without virtue, without sex.

Horace


You can't depend on the man who made the mess to clean it up.

Horace


If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him.

Horace


Women are nothing but machines for producing children.

Horner M.


Nobody can be exactly like me. Sometimes even I have trouble doing it.

Horning Jim


This novel is not to be tossed lightly aside, but to be hurled with great force.

Houghton Blair


Gone With The Wind LITE(tm)

Houseman A.E.


"The jig's up, Elman." "Which jig?"

Howe E.W.


If there is no wind, row.

Howe Edgar W.


What we need in this country, instead of Daylight Savings Time, which nobody really understands anyway, is a new concept called Weekday Morning Time, whereby at 7 a.m. every weekday we go into a space-launch-style "hold" for two to three hours, durin

Howe Irving


If you only have a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail.

Howe Nathaniel


HR 3128. Omnibus Budget Reconciliation, Fiscal 1986. Martin, R-Ill., motion that the House recede from its disagreement to the Senate amendment making changes in the bill to reduce fiscal 1986 deficits. The Senate amendment was an amendment to the

Hubbard Elbert


Writing about music is like dancing about architecture.

Hubbard Elbert


Consider the postage stamp: its usefulness consists in the ability to stick to one thing till it gets there.

Hubbard Elbert


"We're not talking about the same thing," he said. "For you the world is weird because if you're not bored with it you're at odds with it. For me the world is weird because it is stupendous, awesome, mysterious, unfathomable; my interest has been to

Hubbard Elbert


Truth never comes into the world but like a bastard, to the ignominy of him that brought her birth.

Hubbard Elbert


The IRS spends God knows how much of your tax money on these toll-free information hot lines staffed by IRS employees, whose idea of a dynamite tax tip is that you should print neatly. If you ask them a real tax question, such as how you can cheat,

Hubbard Elbert


Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women it is merely a good excuse not to play football.

Hubbard F.M.


I have discovered the art of deceiving diplomats. I tell them the truth and they never believe me.

Hubbard Frank


Never have so many understood so little about so much.

Hubbard Frank


There's no justice in this world.

Hubbard Kim


I steal.

Hubbard Kim


Having nothing, nothing can he lose.

Hubbard Kim


God is the tangential point between zero and infinity.

Hubbard Kin


When I came back to Dublin I was courtmartialed in my absence and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence.

Hubbard Kin


If I could drop dead right now, I'd be the happiest man alive!

Hubbard L. Ron


If a jury in a criminal trial stays out for more than twenty-four hours, it is certain to vote acquittal, save in those instances where it votes guilty.

Hubbard L. Ron


My religion consists of a humble admiration of the illimitable superior spirit who reveals himself in the slight details we are able to perceive with our frail and feeble mind.

Hudson Henry


The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and the lightning bug.

Hugo Victor


The problem with any unwritten law is that you don't know where to go to erase it.

Hugo Victor


As failures go, attempting to recall the past is like trying to grasp the meaning of existence. Both make one feel like a baby clutching at a basketball: one's palms keep sliding off.

Hugo Victor


Honesty is for the most part less profitable than dishonesty.

Hugo Victor


Many a writer seems to think he is never profound except when he can't understand his own meaning.

Humphrey Hubert


An ounce of hypocrisy is worth a pound of ambition.

Hunter S. Thompson


Sensible and responsible women do not want to vote.

Huntingd Collis P.


Living in LA is like not having a date on Saturday night.

Hurley Jack


Historians have now definitely established that Juan Cabrillo, discoverer of California, was not looking for Kansas, thus setting a precedent that continues to this day.

Huron Port


Delores breezed along the surface of her life like a flat stone forever skipping along smooth water, rippling reality sporadically but oblivious to it consistently, until she finally lost momentum, sank, and due to an overdose of flouride as a child

Hutchins Robert M.


Absolutum obsoletum. (If it works, it's out of date.)

Huxley Aldous


Fortune Documents the Great Legal Decisions: We think that we may take judicial notice of the fact that the term "bitch" may imply some feeling of endearment when applied to a female of the canine species but that it is seldom, if ever, so used whe

Huxley Aldous


I went into the business for the money, and the art grew out of it. If people are disillusioned by that remark, I can't help it. It's the truth.

hy it wasn't a hype. If you





Random Quote


"First World" nations are the ones where people drive Japanese cars; "Second World" nations are where First World residents go on vacation; and "Third World" nations are the ones where people still dive out of trees to prove their manhood.
Barry Dave

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