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Depend on the rabbit's foot if you will, but remember, it didn't help the rabbit.

H.G. Wells


I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best.

Ha Nate


America, I'm putting my queer shoulder to the wheel.

Hagen Walter


Scratch the average female and you'll find a purring bundle... at the ready to love and honor, bake a torte and still produce quintuplets.

Hague Frank


By protracting life, we do not deduct one jot from the duration of death.

Hahn Tim


I value kindness to human beings first of all, and kindness to animals. I don't respect the law; I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger, the food cheaper, and old men

Haig Alexander


Those who educate children well are more to be honored than parents, for these only gave life, those the art of living well.

Haldeman H.R.


A likely impossibility is always preferable to an unconvincing possibility.

Half-Constru Racter


I just asked myself... what would John DeLorean do?

Hallock Addison H.


... before I could come to any conclusion it occurred to me that my speech or my silence, indeed any action of mine, would be a mere futility. What did it matter what anyone knew or ignored? What did it matter who was manager? One gets sometimes s

Halsey Admiral William


Well, the handwriting is on the floor.

Hamilton Alexander


Wait for that wisest of all counselors, Time.

Hamilton Alexander


The world is full of people who have never, since childhood, met an open doorway with an open mind.

Hamilton Edith


When I was in school, I cheated on my metaphysics exam: I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.

Hamlet Dick


Beauty is one of the rare things which does not lead to doubt of God.

Hammarskjold Dag


The rights and interests of the laboring man will be protected and cared for not by our labor agitators, but by the Christian men to whom God in his infinite wisdom has given control of property interests of the country, and upon the successful manag

Hampton Christopher


CF&C stole it, fair and square.

Handley Jack


I never cheated an honest man, only rascals. They wanted something for nothing. I gave them nothing for something.

Hardin


American business long ago gave up on demanding that prospective employees be honest and hardworking. It has even stopped hoping for employees who are educated enough that they can tell the difference between the men's room and the women's room with

Hardin Salvor


An office party is not, as is sometimes supposed the Managing Director's chance to kiss the tea-girl. It is the tea-girl's chance to kiss the Managing Director (however bizarre an ambition this may seem to anyone who has seen the Managing Director f

Harding Warren G.


It seems to me that nearly every woman I know wants a man who knows how to love with authority. Women are simple souls who like simple things, and one of the simplest is one of the simplest to give. ... Our family airedale will come clear across t

Harper Lucille S.


An atom-blaster is a good weapon, but it can point both ways.

Harper Roy


NEW YORK

Harris Sidney


Another day, another dollar.

Harris Sydney


When the going gets tough, everyone leaves.

Harris Sydney J.


It is annoying to be honest to no purpose.

Harris Sydney J.


L'hazard ne favorise que l'esprit prepare.

Harris Sydney J.


You or I must yield up his life to Ahrimanes. I would rather it were you. I should have no hesitation in sacrificing my own life to spare yours, but we take stock next week, and it would not be fair on the company.

Harris Sydney J.


No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.

Harrison


I went into a bar feeling a little depressed, the bartender said, "What'll you have, Bud"? I said," I don't know, surprise me". So he showed me a nude picture of my wife.

Harrold Mark


The price of success in philosophy is triviality.

Harry Dirty


An aphorism is never exactly true; it is either a half-truth or one-and-a-half truths.

Harry Dirty


The trouble with the rat-race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.

Hart Johnny


We all live in a state of ambitious poverty.

Hartm


"Die? I should say not, dear fellow. No Barrymore would allow such a conventional thing to happen to him."

Haskins Ernest


One man's Mede is another man's Persian.

Hawes J.


If little green men land in your back yard, hide any little green women you've got in the house.

Hawkwind


"I only touch base with reality on an as-needed basis!"

Hawley Cameron


Death is a spirit leaving a body, sort of like a shell leaving the nut behind.

Hayakawa S.I.


He has not acquired a fortune; the fortune has acquired him.

Hazlitt William


One learns to itch where one can scratch.

Heidi Hartmann


Haste makes waste.

Heine


Were there no women, men might live like gods.

Heinlein R.A.


(1) Avoid fried meats which angry up the blood. (2) If your stomach antagonizes you, pacify it with cool thoughts. (3) Keep the juices flowing by jangling around gently as you move. (4) Go very lightly on the vices, such as carrying on in society, as

Heinlein Robert


Don't steal; thou'lt never thus compete successfully in business. Cheat.

Heinlein Robert


Philosophy will clip an angel's wings.

Heller Joseph


You must be the change you wish to see in the world.

Heller Robert


A fake fortuneteller can be tolerated. But an authentic soothsayer should be shot on sight. Cassandra did not get half the kicking around she deserved.

Heller Joseph


Work is the crab grass in the lawn of life.

Heller Joseph


If your happiness depends on what somebody else does, I guess you do have a problem.

Heller Joseph


The only thing that experience teaches us is that experience teaches us nothing.

Heller Joseph


Our policy is, when in doubt, do the right thing.

Hellman Lillian


He thought of Musashi, the Sword Saint, standing in his garden more than three hundred years ago. "What is the 'Body of a rock'?" he was asked. In answer, Musashi summoned a pupil of his and bid him kill himself by slashing his abdomen with a knife.

Hemingway Ernest


A woman occasionally is quite a serviceable substitute for masturbation. It takes an abundance of imagination, to be sure.

Hemingway Ernest


If there is a sin against life, it consists perhaps not so much in despairing of life as in hoping for another life and in eluding the implacable grandeur of this life.

Hemingway Peter Applebome


This is the sort of English up with which I will not put.

Hendrix Robert James Marshall


The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence.

Henrik Ibsen


An ounce of mother is worth a ton of priest.

Henry Durant


Anything is possible on paper.

Henry James


Getting kicked out of the American Bar Association is liked getting kicked out of the Book-of-the-Month Club.

Henry Robert


Fortune and love befriend the bold.

Hepbur Dorothy Parker


In my end is my beginning.

Heraclitus


Let's say your wedding ring falls into your toaster, and when you stick your hand in to retrieve it, you suffer Pain and Suffering as well as Mental Anguish. You would sue: * The toaster manufacturer, for failure to include, in the instructions

Herbert A.P.


"If once a man indulges himself in murder, very soon he comes to think little of robbing; and from robbing he next comes to drinking and Sabbath-breaking, and from that to incivility and procrastination."

Herbert Frank


Hotels are tired of getting ripped off. I checked into a hotel and they had towels from my house.

Herbert Frank


Dying is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down.

Herbert Hoover


Nothing succeeds like success.

Herodotus


"There was an interesting development in the CBS-Westmoreland trial: both sides agreed that after the trial, Andy Rooney would be allowed to talk to the jury for three minutes about little things that annoyed him during the trial."

Herodotus


There is a natural hootchy-kootchy to a goldfish.

Herodotus


Destiny is a good thing to accept when it's going your way. When it isn't, don't call it destiny; call it injustice, treachery, or simple bad luck.

Herodotus


Not to laugh, not to lament, not to curse, but to understand.

Herodotus


The ideal voice for radio may be defined as showing no substance, no sex, no owner, and a message of importance for every housewife.

Heroi Stephen Pile


The flush toilet is the basis of Western civilization.

Heroi Stephen Pile


Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead.

Heroi Stephen Pile


While there's life, there's hope.

Heroi Stephen Pile


Home is where the hurt is.

Heroi Stephen Pile


In "King Henry VI, Part II," Shakespeare has Dick Butcher suggest to his fellow anti-establishment rabble-rousers, "The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers." That action may be extreme but a similar sentiment was expressed by Thomas K. Co

Heroi Stephen Pile


It is wise to keep in mind that neither success nor failure is ever final.

Heroi Stephen Pile


There are ten or twenty basic truths, and life is the process of discovering them over and over and over.

Herold Don


A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds.

Heywood John


Men freely believe that what they wish to desire.

Heywood John


The real purpose of books is to trap the mind into doing its own thinking.

Heywood John


A memorandum is written not to inform the reader, but to protect the writer.

Heywood John


"World conquerors sometimes become fools, but fools never become world conquerors."

Heywood John


Women are nothing but machines for producing children.

Heywood John


I love treason but hate a traitor.

Heywood John


Chapter 1 The story so far: In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.

Heywood John


Women of genius commonly have masculine faces, figures and manners. In transplanting brains to an alien soil God leaves a little of the original earth clinging to the roots.

Heywood John


General notions are generally wrong.

Heywood John


We have reason to be afraid. This is a terrible place.

Heywood John


If a jury in a criminal trial stays out for more than twenty-four hours, it is certain to vote acquittal, save in those instances where it votes guilty.

Heywood John


Ninety percent of the time things turn out worse than you thought they would. The other ten percent of the time you had no right to expect that much.

Heywood John


How can you prove whether at this moment we are sleeping, and all our thoughts are a dream; or whether we are awake, and talking to one another in the waking state?

Heywood John


God help those who do not help themselves.

Heywood John


Where it is a duty to worship the sun it is pretty sure to be a crime to examine the laws of heat.

Heywood John


If there were a school for, say, sheet metal workers, that after three years left its graduates as unprepared for their careers as does law school, it would be closed down in a minute, and no doubt by lawyers.

Hicks D.J.


Laws are like sausages. It's better not to see them being made.

Hickson W.E.


The first requisite for immortality is death.

Hightower Jim


Who dat who say "who dat" when I say "who dat"?

Hildebrand Joel


Five bicycles make a volkswagen, seven make a truck.

Hinckley John


It is through symbols that man consciously or unconsciously lives, works and has his being.

Hindu Code


A businessman is a hybrid of a dancer and a calculator.

Hinojosa Daniel


Nice guys finish last, but we get to sleep in.

Hippocrates


Furious activity is no substitute for understanding.

Hitler Adolf


If you're like most homeowners, you're afraid that many repairs around your home are too difficult to tackle. So, when your furnace explodes, you call in a so-called professional to fix it. The "professional" arrives in a truck with lettering on t

Hitler Adolf


A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step.

Hitler Adolf


If reporters don't know that truth is plural, they ought to be lawyers.

Hitler Adolf


It is Mr. Mellon's credo that $200,000,000 can do no wrong. Our offense consists in doubting it.

Hitler Adolf


Good government never depends upon laws, but upon the personal qualities of those who govern. The machinery of government is always subordinate to the will of those who administer that machinery. The most important element of government, therefore,

Hitler Adolf


Men are superior to women.

Hitler Adolph


It shall be unlawful for any suspicious person to be within the municipality.

Hitler Adolph


You can't expect a boy to be vicious till he's been to a good school.

Hitler Adolph


Why does a hearse horse snicker, hauling a lawyer away?

Hobbs Calvin and


Have you ever stopped to think what it would be like to have a woman President? "I can't deal with the Russians today. Not now. I've got my period."

Hodder-Williams Christopher


What soon grows old? Gratitude.

Hoest Bill


If you wish to be happy for one hour, get drunk. If you wish to be happy for three days, get married. If you wish to be happy for a month, kill your pig and eat it. If you wish to be happy forever, learn to fish.

Hoffer Eric


Exxon's 'Universe of Energy' tends to the peculiar rather than the humorous ... After [an incomprehensible film montage about wind and sun and rain and strip mines and] two or three minutes of mechanical confusion, the seats locomote through a short

Hoffer Eric


Sic transit gloria mundi. [So passes away the glory of this world.]

Hoffman A.


Execute every act of thy life as though it were thy last.

Hoffman Abbie


Someday we'll look back on this moment and plow into a parked car.

Holla Xaviera


Imagine what we can imagine!

Holmes Oliver Wendell


All this wheeling and dealing around, why, it isn't for money, it's for fun. Money's just the way we keep score.

Holmes Oliver Wendell


There is no fool to the old fool.

Holmes Sherlock


"Given the choice between accomplishing something and just lying around, I'd rather lie around. No contest."

Holmes Sherlock


An older student came to Otis and said, "I have been to see a great number of teachers and I have given up a great number of pleasures. I have fasted, been celibate and stayed awake nights seeking enlightenment. I have given up everything I was aske

Holyoke Edward


If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?

Holzer Jenny


The lawgiver, of all beings, most owes the law allegiance. He of all men should behave as though the law compelled him. But it is the universal weakness of mankind that what we are given to administer we presently imagine we own.

Homer


For if there is a sin against life, it consists perhaps not so much in despairing of life as in hoping for another life and in eluding the implacable grandeur of this life.

Homer


If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.

Honda. Harpoon a


Sometimes a man who deserves to be looked down upon because he is a fool is despised only because he is a lawyer.

Hook Sidney


All the big corporations depreciate their possessions, and you can, too, provided you use them for business purposes. For example, if you subscribe to the Wall Street Journal, a business-related newspaper, you can deduct the cost of your house, beca

Hoover Herbert


Several years ago, some smart businessmen had an idea: Why not build a big store where a do-it-yourselfer could get everything he needed at reasonable prices? Then they decided, nah, the hell with that, let's build a home center. And before long ho

Hoover Herbert


Judges, as a class, display, in the matter of arranging alimony, that reckless generosity which is found only in men who are giving away someone else's cash.

Hoover J. Edgar


The day advanced as if to light some work of mine; it was morning, and lo! now it is evening, and nothing memorable is accomplished.

Hoover J. Edgar


Everything takes longer, costs more, and is less useful.

Hoover J. Edgar


Sweet April showers do spring May flowers.

Hoover J. Edgar


The lawgiver, of all beings, most owes the law allegiance. He of all men should behave as though the law compelled him. But it is the universal weakness of mankind that what we are given to administer we presently imagine we own.

Hope A.


There is no cure for birth and death other than to enjoy the interval.

Hope Bob


Mental power tended to corrupt, and absolute intelligence tended to corrupt absolutely, until the victim eschewed violence entirely in favor of smart solutions to stupid problems.

Hope Bob


The sooner you make your first 5000 mistakes, the sooner you will be able to correct them.

Hoppe Art


"Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away".

Hopper Grace Murray


He who laughs has not yet heard the bad news.

Hopper Grace Murray


I have ways of making money that you know nothing of.

Horace


"If once a man indulges himself in murder, very soon he comes to think little of robbing; and from robbing he next comes to drinking and Sabbath-breaking, and from that to incivility and procrastination."

Horace


Waste not fresh tears over old griefs.

Horace


The idea there was that consumers would bring their broken electronic devices, such as television sets and VCR's, to the destruction centers, where trained personnel would whack them (the devices) with sledgehammers. With their devices thus permanent

Horner M.


The Law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich, as well as the poor, to sleep under the bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread.

Horning Jim


It is sweet to let the mind unbend on occasion.

Houghton Blair


I was part of that strange race of people aptly described as spending their lives doing things they detest to make money they don't want to buy things they don't need to impress people they dislike.

Houseman A.E.


The Poems, all three hundred of them, may be summed up in one of their phrases: "Let our thoughts be correct".

Howe E.W.


"Hi, I'm Preston A. Mantis, president of Consumers Retail Law Outlet. As you can see by my suit and the fact that I have all these books of equal height on the shelves behind me, I am a trained legal attorney. Do you have a car or a job? Do you ever

Howe Edgar W.


Any stone in your boot always migrates against the pressure gradient to exactly the point of most pressure.

Howe Irving


I remember when legal used to mean lawful, now it means some kind of loophole.

Howe Nathaniel


You cannot see the wood for the trees.

Hubbard Elbert


Never keep up with the Joneses. Drag them down to your level.

Hubbard Elbert


Kindness is the beginning of cruelty.

Hubbard Elbert


Why be a man when you can be a success?

Hubbard Elbert


It is Mr. Mellon's credo that $200,000,000 can do no wrong. Our offense consists in doubting it.

Hubbard Elbert


All is well that ends well.

Hubbard Elbert


"The chain which can be yanked is not the eternal chain."

Hubbard F.M.


Sensible and responsible women do not want to vote.

Hubbard Frank


"Hey, Sam, how about a loan?" "Whattaya need?" "Oh, about $500." "Whattaya got for collateral?" "Whattaya need?" "How about an eye?"

Hubbard Frank


Beware of all enterprises that require new clothes, and not rather a new wearer of clothes.

Hubbard Kim


Brahma said: Well, after hearing ten thousand explanations, a fool is no wiser. But an intelligent man needs only two thousand five hundred.

Hubbard Kim


The Law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich, as well as the poor, to sleep under the bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread.

Hubbard Kim


Men will fuck mud.

Hubbard Kin


It is when I struggle to be brief that I become obscure.

Hubbard Kin


[District Attorneys] learn in District Attorney School that there are two sure-fire ways to get a lot of favorable publicity: (1) Go down and raid all the lockers in the local high school and confiscate 53 marijuana cigarettes and put them in a

Hubbard L. Ron


One hundred women are not worth a single testicle.

Hubbard L. Ron


Life is too short to be taken seriously.

Hudson Henry


He who knows, does not speak. He who speaks, does not know.

Hugo Victor


The `loner' may be respected, but he is always resented by his colleagues, for he seems to be passing a critical judgment on them, when he may be simply making a limiting statement about himself.

Hugo Victor


One man's brain plus one other will produce one half as many ideas as one man would have produced alone. These two plus two more will produce half again as many ideas. These four plus four more begin to represent a creative meeting, and the ratio c

Hugo Victor


Nothing will dispel enthusiasm like a small admission fee.

Hugo Victor


Marijuana will be legal some day, because the many law students who now smoke pot will someday become congressmen and legalize it in order to protect themselves.

Humphrey Hubert


A wise person makes his own decisions, a weak one obeys public opinion.

Hunter S. Thompson


Necessity hath no law.

Huntingd Collis P.


Joe Cool always spends the first two weeks at college sailing his frisbee.

Hurley Jack


If you live long enough, you'll see that every victory turns into a defeat.

Huron Port


One good turn asketh another.

Hutchins Robert M.


The time spent on any item of the agenda [of a finance committee] will be in inverse proportion to the sum involved.

Huxley Aldous


All hope abandon, ye who enter here!

Huxley Aldous


In spite of everything, I still believe that people are good at heart.

hy it wasn't a hype. If you





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Even God lends a hand to honest boldness.
Menander

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