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The course of true anything never does run smooth.

H.G. Wells

"I only touch base with reality on an as-needed basis!"

Ha Nate

Some performers on television appear to be horrible people, but when you finally get to know them in person, they turn out to be even worse.

Hagen Walter

By the middle 1880's, practically all the roads except those in the South, were of the present standard gauge. The southern roads were still five feet between rails. It was decided to change the gauge of all southern roads to standard, in one day

Hague Frank

Everything is possible. Pass the word.

Hahn Tim

Waste not fresh tears over old griefs.

Haig Alexander

Either I'm dead or my watch has stopped.

Haldeman H.R.

Imitation is the sincerest form of television.

Half-Constru Racter

Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths good theatre.

Hallock Addison H.

Out of sight is out of mind.

Halsey Admiral William

We were so poor we couldn't afford a watchdog. If we heard a noise at night, we'd bark ourselves.

Hamilton Alexander

What soon grows old? Gratitude.

Hamilton Alexander

One picture is worth more than ten thousand words.

Hamilton Edith

Nullum magnum ingenium sine mixtura dementiae fuit. [There is no great genius without some touch of madness.]

Hamlet Dick

The USA is so enormous, and so numerous are its schools, colleges and religious seminaries, many devoted to special religious beliefs ranging from the unorthodox to the dotty, that we can hardly wonder at its yielding a more bounteous harvest of gobb

Hammarskjold Dag

No bird soars too high if he soars with his own wings.

Hampton Christopher

Getting kicked out of the American Bar Association is liked getting kicked out of the Book-of-the-Month Club.

Handley Jack

None love the bearer of bad news.


Watch your mouth, kid, or you'll find yourself floating home.

Hardin Salvor

The Law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich, as well as the poor, to sleep under the bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread.

Harding Warren G.

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.

Harper Lucille S.

Competitive fury is not always anger. It is the true missionary's courage and zeal in facing the possibility that one's best may not be enough.

Harper Roy

The idea there was that consumers would bring their broken electronic devices, such as television sets and VCR's, to the destruction centers, where trained personnel would whack them (the devices) with sledgehammers. With their devices thus permanent

Harris Sidney

Plato, by the way, wanted to banish all poets from his proposed Utopia because they were liars. The truth was that Plato knew philosophers couldn't compete successfully with poets.

Harris Sydney

"It's kind of fun to do the impossible."

Harris Sydney J.

Bullwinkle: You just leave that to my pal. He's the brains of the outfit. General: What does that make YOU? Bullwinkle: What else? An executive.

Harris Sydney J.

The seven deadly sins ... Food, clothing, firing, rent, taxes, respectability and children. Nothing can lift those seven milestones from man's neck but money; and the spirit cannot soar until the milestones are lifted.

Harris Sydney J.

Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration.

Harris Sydney J.

According to my best recollection, I don't remember.


The rights and interests of the laboring man will be protected and cared for not by our labor agitators, but by the Christian men to whom God in his infinite wisdom has given control of property interests of the country, and upon the successful manag

Harrold Mark

A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds.

Harry Dirty

Set the cart before the horse.

Harry Dirty

The Worst Musical Trio There are few bad musicians who have a chance to give a recital at a famous concert hall while still learning the rudiments of their instrument. This happened about thirty years ago to the son of a Rumanian gentleman who was

Hart Johnny

There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?


Save the Whales

Haskins Ernest

The greatest productive force is human selfishness.

Hawes J.

You or I must yield up his life to Ahrimanes. I would rather it were you. I should have no hesitation in sacrificing my own life to spare yours, but we take stock next week, and it would not be fair on the company.


If we could sell our experiences for what they cost us, we would all be millionaires.

Hawley Cameron

There must be more to life than having everything.

Hayakawa S.I.

... Our second completely true news item was sent to me by Mr. H. Boyce Connell Jr. of Atlanta, Ga., where he is involved in a law firm. One thing I like about the South is, folks there care about tradition. If somebody gets handed a name like "H.

Hazlitt William

If I had a formula for bypassing trouble, I would not pass it around. Trouble creates a capacity to handle it. I don't say embrace trouble; that's as bad as treating it as an enemy. But I do say meet it as a friend, for you'll see a lot of it and y

Heidi Hartmann

I went into a bar feeling a little depressed, the bartender said, "What'll you have, Bud"? I said," I don't know, surprise me". So he showed me a nude picture of my wife.


"Well, if you can't believe what you read in a comic book, what *___can* you believe?!"

Heinlein R.A.

If you're like most homeowners, you're afraid that many repairs around your home are too difficult to tackle. So, when your furnace explodes, you call in a so-called professional to fix it. The "professional" arrives in a truck with lettering on t

Heinlein Robert

Public use of any portable music system is a virtually guaranteed indicator of sociopathic tendencies.

Heinlein Robert

"You mean, if you allow the master to be uncivil, to treat you any old way he likes, and to insult your dignity, then he may deem you fit to hear his view of things?" "Quite the contrary. You must defend your integrity, assuming you have integrit

Heller Joseph

Superstition, idolatry, and hypocrisy have ample wages, but truth goes a-begging.

Heller Robert

My religion consists of a humble admiration of the illimitable superior spirit who reveals himself in the slight details we are able to perceive with our frail and feeble mind.

Heller Joseph

If reporters don't know that truth is plural, they ought to be lawyers.

Heller Joseph

The world wants to be deceived.

Heller Joseph

No house should ever be on any hill or on anything. It should be of the hill, belonging to it.

Heller Joseph

The coast was clear.

Hellman Lillian

If I could reach, I'd never leave the house.

Hemingway Ernest

I'll turn over a new leaf.

Hemingway Ernest

It shall be unlawful for any suspicious person to be within the municipality.

Hemingway Peter Applebome

Never invest your money in anything that eats or needs repainting.

Hendrix Robert James Marshall

Do not use that foreign word "ideals". We have that excellent native word "lies".

Henrik Ibsen

If a thing's worth doing, it is worth doing badly.

Henry Durant

The older I grow, the less important the comma becomes. Let the reader catch his own breath.

Henry James

You knew the job was dangerous when you took it, Fred.

Henry Robert

The ideal voice for radio may be defined as showing no substance, no sex, no owner, and a message of importance for every housewife.

Hepbur Dorothy Parker

This is an especially good time for you vacationers who plan to fly, because the Reagan administration, as part of the same policy under which it recently sold Yellowstone National Park to Wayne Newton, has "deregulated" the airline industry. What t


The lawgiver, of all beings, most owes the law allegiance. He of all men should behave as though the law compelled him. But it is the universal weakness of mankind that what we are given to administer we presently imagine we own.

Herbert A.P.

Human resources are human first, and resources second.

Herbert Frank

There is a good deal of solemn cant about the common interests of capital and labour. As matters stand, their only common interest is that of cutting each other's throat.

Herbert Frank

My tears stuck in their little ducts, refusing to be jerked.

Herbert Hoover

Fortune's Guide to Freshman Notetaking: WHEN THE PROFESSOR SAYS: YOU WRITE: Probably the greatest quality of the poetry John Milton


Well begun is half done.


The most difficult thing in the world is to know how to do a thing and to watch someone else doing it wrong, without commenting.


Another day, another dollar.


Once harm has been done, even a fool understands it.


Death is a spirit leaving a body, sort of like a shell leaving the nut behind.

Heroi Stephen Pile

It has been said [by Anatole France], "it is not by amusing oneself that one learns," and, in reply: "it is *____only* by amusing oneself that one can learn."

Heroi Stephen Pile

Take the folks at Coca-Cola. For many years, they were content to sit back and make the same old carbonated beverage. It was a good beverage, no question about it; generations of people had grown up drinking it and doing the experiment in sixth gr

Heroi Stephen Pile

"You boys lookin' for trouble?" "Sure. Whaddya got?"

Heroi Stephen Pile

Feminists say 60 percent of the country's wealth is in the hands of women. They're letting men hold the other 40 percent because their handbags are full.

Heroi Stephen Pile

I wish there was a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence. There's a knob called "brightness", but it doesn't seem to work.

Heroi Stephen Pile

Great acts are made up of small deeds.

Heroi Stephen Pile

By perseverance the snail reached the Ark.

Herold Don

With Congress, every time they make a joke it's a law; and every time they make a law it's a joke.

Heywood John

I remember when legal used to mean lawful, now it means some kind of loophole.

Heywood John

The human animal differs from the lesser primates in his passion for lists of "Ten Best".

Heywood John

I need another lawyer like I need another hole in my head.

Heywood John

The most delightful day after the one on which you buy a cottage in the country is the one on which you resell it.

Heywood John

If you do not think about the future, you cannot have one.

Heywood John

A university is what a college becomes when the faculty loses interest in students.

Heywood John

Plots are like girdles. Hidden, they hold your interest; revealed, they're of no interest except to fetishists. Like girdles, they attempt to contain an uncontainable experience.

Heywood John

She ran the gamut of emotions from 'A' to 'B'.

Heywood John

America, I'm putting my queer shoulder to the wheel.

Heywood John

Every word is like an unnecessary stain on silence and nothingness.

Heywood John

I just asked myself... what would John DeLorean do?

Heywood John

It is common sense to take a method and try it. If it fails, admit it frankly and try another. But above all, try something.

Heywood John

Advertising is a valuable economic factor because it is the cheapest way of selling goods, particularly if the goods are worthless.

Heywood John

If the ends don't justify the means, then what does?

Heywood John

An aphorism is never exactly true; it is either a half-truth or one-and-a-half truths.

Heywood John

"What's the use of a good quotation if you can't change it?"

Hicks D.J.

Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years.

Hickson W.E.

Ah, but a man's grasp should exceed his reach, Or what's a heaven for ?

Hightower Jim

Nothing is so firmly believed as that which we least know.

Hildebrand Joel

Work is the crab grass in the lawn of life.

Hinckley John

Education and religion are two things not regulated by supply and demand. The less of either the people have, the less they want.

Hindu Code

If someone had told me I would be Pope one day, I would have studied harder.

Hinojosa Daniel

In dwelling, be close to the land. In meditation, delve deep into the heart. In dealing with others, be gentle and kind. In speech, be true. In work, be competent. In action, be careful of your timing.


My problem lies in reconciling my gross habits with my net income.

Hitler Adolf

Use an accordion. Go to jail.

Hitler Adolf

"There was an interesting development in the CBS-Westmoreland trial: both sides agreed that after the trial, Andy Rooney would be allowed to talk to the jury for three minutes about little things that annoyed him during the trial."

Hitler Adolf

It is a sobering thought that when Mozart was my age, he had been dead for two years.

Hitler Adolf

That's no moon...

Hitler Adolf

Don't guess

Hitler Adolf

People in general do not willingly read if they have anything else to amuse them.

Hitler Adolph

Some women should be beaten regularly, like gongs.

Hitler Adolph

Given a choice between grief and nothing, I'd choose grief.

Hitler Adolph

The superfluous is very necessary.

Hobbs Calvin and

It is only by risking our persons from one hour to another that we live at all. And often enough our faith beforehand in an uncertified result is the only thing that makes the result come true.

Hodder-Williams Christopher

The reward of a thing well done is to have done it.

Hoest Bill

Take what you can use and let the rest go by.

Hoffer Eric

Traveling through hyperspace isn't like dusting crops, boy.

Hoffer Eric

Well, the handwriting is on the floor.

Hoffman A.

"Hi, I'm Preston A. Mantis, president of Consumers Retail Law Outlet. As you can see by my suit and the fact that I have all these books of equal height on the shelves behind me, I am a trained legal attorney. Do you have a car or a job? Do you ever

Hoffman Abbie

It is your concern when your neighbor's wall is on fire.

Holla Xaviera

Diary of a Young Girl LITE(tm)

Holmes Oliver Wendell

An investment in knowledge always pays the best interest.

Holmes Oliver Wendell

Skill without imagination is craftsmanship and gives us many useful objects such as wickerwork picnic baskets. Imagination without skill gives us modern art.

Holmes Sherlock

If a man stay away from his wife for seven years, the law presumes the separation to have killed him; yet according to our daily experience, it might well prolong his life.

Holmes Sherlock

Reality is bad enough, why should I tell the truth?

Holyoke Edward

Most general statements are false, including this one.

Holzer Jenny

Circumstances rule men; men do not rule circumstances.


per year.


A good scapegoat is hard to find. A guilty conscience is the mother of invention.

Honda. Harpoon a

Briefly stated, the findings are that when presented with an array of data or a sequence of events in which they are instructed to discover an underlying order, subjects show strong tendencies to perceive order and causality in random arrays, to perc

Hook Sidney

After his Ignoble Disgrace, Satan was being expelled from Heaven. As he passed through the Gates, he paused a moment in thought, and turned to God and said, "A new creature called Man, I hear, is soon to be created." "This is true," He replied.

Hoover Herbert

"Hi, I'm Preston A. Mantis, president of Consumers Retail Law Outlet. As you can see by my suit and the fact that I have all these books of equal height on the shelves behind me, I am a trained legal attorney. Do you have a car or a job? Do you ever

Hoover Herbert

Marijuana will be legal some day, because the many law students who now smoke pot will someday become congressmen and legalize it in order to protect themselves.

Hoover J. Edgar

It is better to live rich than to die rich.

Hoover J. Edgar

Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.

Hoover J. Edgar

"Given the choice between accomplishing something and just lying around, I'd rather lie around. No contest."

Hoover J. Edgar

We're all in this alone.

Hope A.

Knowledge is power.

Hope Bob

I'm going to raise an issue and stick it in your ear.

Hope Bob

Receiving a million dollars tax free will make you feel better than being flat broke and having a stomach ache.

Hoppe Art

If there were a school for, say, sheet metal workers, that after three years left its graduates as unprepared for their careers as does law school, it would be closed down in a minute, and no doubt by lawyers.

Hopper Grace Murray

Mike: "The Fourth Dimension is a shambles?" Bernie: "Nobody ever empties the ashtrays. People are SO inconsiderate."

Hopper Grace Murray

The great question that has never been answered and which I have not yet been able to answer despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul is: WHAT DOES A WOMAN WANT?


Haste makes waste.


Laws are like sausages. It's better not to see them being made.


Good government never depends upon laws, but upon the personal qualities of those who govern. The machinery of government is always subordinate to the will of those who administer that machinery. The most important element of government, therefore,

Horner M.

VI: A hungry dog hunts best. A hungrier dog hunts even better. VII: Decreased business base increases overhead. So does increased business base. VIII: The most unsuccessful four years in the education of a cost-estimator is fifth grade ari

Horning Jim

If the English language made any sense, lackadaisical would have something to do with a shortage of flowers.

Houghton Blair

Wisdom is knowing what to do with what you know.

Houseman A.E.

The plot was designed in a light vein that somehow became varicose.

Howe E.W.

Nonsense and beauty have close connections.

Howe Edgar W.

Men freely believe that what they wish to desire.

Howe Irving

A little inaccuracy saves a world of explanation.

Howe Nathaniel

Laws are like sausages. It's better not to see them being made.

Hubbard Elbert

Joe Cool always spends the first two weeks at college sailing his frisbee.

Hubbard Elbert

I BET WHAT HAPPENED was they discovered fire and invented the wheel on the same day. Then that night, they burned the wheel.

Hubbard Elbert

Judges, as a class, display, in the matter of arranging alimony, that reckless generosity which is found only in men who are giving away someone else's cash.

Hubbard Elbert

The Hollywood tradition I like best is called "sucking up to the stars."

Hubbard Elbert

You can't run away forever, But there's nothing wrong with getting a good head start.

Hubbard Elbert

There's such a thing as too much point on a pencil.

Hubbard F.M.

In spite of everything, I still believe that people are good at heart.

Hubbard Frank

A prediction is worth twenty explanations.

Hubbard Frank

The real purpose of books is to trap the mind into doing its own thinking.

Hubbard Kim

Several years ago, some smart businessmen had an idea: Why not build a big store where a do-it-yourselfer could get everything he needed at reasonable prices? Then they decided, nah, the hell with that, let's build a home center. And before long ho

Hubbard Kim

You can always pick up your needle and move to another groove.

Hubbard Kim

Nasrudin returned to his village from the imperial capital, and the villagers gathered around to hear what had passed. "At this time," said Nasrudin, "I only want to say that the King spoke to me." All the villagers but the stupidest ran off to spr

Hubbard Kin

TV is chewing gum for the eyes.

Hubbard Kin

Nothing endures but change.

Hubbard L. Ron

What fools these mortals be.

Hubbard L. Ron

Catharsis is something I associate with pornography and crossword puzzles.

Hudson Henry

You don't have to think too hard when you talk to teachers.

Hugo Victor

We are not a loved organization, but we are a respected one.

Hugo Victor

If I have to lay an egg for my country, I'll do it.

Hugo Victor

When the English language gets in my way, I walk over it.

Hugo Victor

Immature artists imitate, mature artists steal.

Humphrey Hubert

With her body, woman is more sincere than man; but with her mind she lies. And when she lies, she does not believe herself.

Hunter S. Thompson

You can get much further with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.

Huntingd Collis P.

What one believes to be true either is true or becomes true.

Hurley Jack

For fools rush in where angels fear to tread.

Huron Port

A beginning is the time for taking the most delicate care that balances are correct.

Hutchins Robert M.

The race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, but that's the way to bet.

Huxley Aldous

For thee the wonder-working earth puts forth sweet flowers.

Huxley Aldous

It is not enough that I should succeed. Others must fail.

hy it wasn't a hype. If you

Random Quote

If you do not think about the future, you cannot have one.
Galsworthy John

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