... Our second completely true news item was sent to me by Mr. H. Boyce Connell Jr. of Atlanta, Ga., where he is involved in a law firm. One thing I like about the South is, folks there care about tradition. If somebody gets handed a name like "H.

Murray and Esther, a middle-aged Jewish couple, are touring Chile. Murray just got a new camera and is constantly snapping pictures. One day, without knowing it, he photographs a top-secret military installation. In an instant, armed troops surroun

Never take a resume seriously. Resumes only make money for the people who write the resumes. No resume ever tells an employer how many times a job applicant has had the clap. Why, indeed, would anyone hire a person based on a resume written by a

That Xanthippe's husband should have become so great a philosopher is remarkable. Amid all the scolding, to be able to think! But he could not write: that was impossible. Socrates has not left us a single book.

"Well, if you can't believe what you read in a comic book, what *___can* you believe?!"

If I have to lay an egg for my country, I'll do it.

The cable TV sex channels don't expand our horizons, don't make us better people, and don't come in clearly enough.

Yet creeds mean very little, Coth answered the dark god, still speaking almost gently. The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this is true.

Nothing is so firmly believed as that which we least know.

What we do not understand we do not possess.

Once harm has been done, even a fool understands it.

Imagine what we can imagine!

New Jersey is not the armpit of the nation; it's the asshole of the universe.