"Rembrandt's first name was Beauregard, which is why he never used it."

Save the Whales

"If once a man indulges himself in murder, very soon he comes to think little of robbing; and from robbing he next comes to drinking and Sabbath-breaking, and from that to incivility and procrastination."

If we see the light at the end of the tunnel, it's the light of an oncoming train.

Si Dieu n'existait pas, il faudrait l'inventer. [If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him.]

Grig (the navigator): ... so you see, it's just the two of us against the entire space armada. Alex (the gunner): What?!? Grig: I've always wanted to fight a desperate battle against overwhelming odds. Alex: It'll be a slaughter! Grig: That'

What an artist dies with me!

Certain passages in several laws have always defied interpretation and the most inexplicable must be a matter of opinion. A judge of the Court of Session of Scotland has sent the editors of this book his candidate which reads, "In the Nuts (unground

Imagine what we can imagine!

The college graduate is presented with a sheepskin to cover his intellectual nakedness.

Delay not, Caesar. Read it instantly.

Americans' greatest fear is that America will turn out to have been a phenomenon, not a civilization.

I shot an arrow in to the air, and it stuck.