The man who follows the crowd will usually get no further than the crowd. The man who walks alone is likely to find himself in places no one has ever been.

I'm not sure I've even got the brains to be President.

Ten persons who speak make more noise than ten thousand who are silent.

You have all eternity to be cautious in when you're dead.

There is a secret person undamaged within every individual.

If a shameless woman expects to be defiled and then dies of her fierce love because you do not consent, will chastity also be homicide?

Generally speaking, the Way of the warrior is resolute acceptance of death.

Some performers on television appear to be horrible people, but when you finally get to know them in person, they turn out to be even worse.

It has long been an axiom of mine that the little things are infinitely the most important.

There is an old time toast which is golden for its beauty. "When you ascend the hill of prosperity may you not meet a friend."

Long were the days of pain I have spent within its walls, and long were the nights of aloneness; and who can depart from his pain and his aloneness without regret?

Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid.

The Army has carried the American ... ideal to its logical conclusion. Not only do they prohibit discrimination on the grounds of race, creed and color, but also on ability.

The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax.

You never know what is enough until you know what is more than enough.

A thing is not necessarily true because a man dies for it.

Never buy what you do not want because it is cheap; it will be dear to you.

What we cannot speak about we must pass over in silence.

... so long as the people do not care to exercise their freedom, those who wish to tyrranize will do so; for tyrants are active and ardent, and will devote themselves in the name of any number of gods, religious and otherwise, to put shackles upon sl

I don't mind what Congress does, as long as they don't do it in the streets and frighten the horses.

... Our second completely true news item was sent to me by Mr. H. Boyce Connell Jr. of Atlanta, Ga., where he is involved in a law firm. One thing I like about the South is, folks there care about tradition. If somebody gets handed a name like "H.

"Hi, I'm Preston A. Mantis, president of Consumers Retail Law Outlet. As you can see by my suit and the fact that I have all these books of equal height on the shelves behind me, I am a trained legal attorney. Do you have a car or a job? Do you ever

IV. The time required for an object to fall twenty stories is greater than or equal to the time it takes for whoever knocked it off the ledge to spiral down twenty flights to attempt to capture it unbroken. Such an object is inevitably price

A copy of the universe is not what is required of art; one of the damned things is ample.

"We should declare war on North Vietnam. We could pave the whole country and put parking strips on it, and still be home by Christmas."

Perhaps, after all, America never has been discovered. I myself would say that it had merely been detected.

You are never given a wish without also being given the power to make it true. You may have to work for it, however.

Most people are unable to write because they are unable to think, and they are unable to think because they congenitally lack the equipment to do so, just as they congenitally lack the equipment to fly over the moon.

One advantage of talking to yourself is that you know at least somebody's listening.

Nothing succeeds like excess.

Snakes. Why did it have to be snakes?

"... all the modern inconveniences ..."

We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it - and stay there, lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove-lid. She will never sit down on a hot stove-lid again - and that is well; but also she will never

Love the sea? I dote upon it

If a man stay away from his wife for seven years, the law presumes the separation to have killed him; yet according to our daily experience, it might well prolong his life.

I was in this prematurely air conditioned supermarket and there were all these aisles and there were these bathing caps you could buy that had these kind of Fourth of July plumes on them that were red and yellow and blue and I wasn't tempted to buy

Once he had one leg in the White House and the nation trembled under his roars. Now he is a tinpot pope in the Coca-Cola belt and a brother to the forlorn pastors who belabor halfwits in galvanized iron tabernacles behind the railroad yards."

When in doubt, do it. It's much easier to apologize than to get permission.

All the big corporations depreciate their possessions, and you can, too, provided you use them for business purposes. For example, if you subscribe to the Wall Street Journal, a business-related newspaper, you can deduct the cost of your house, beca

Television has proved that people will look at anything rather than each other.

The price one pays for pursuing any profession, or calling, is an intimate knowledge of its ugly side.

No television performance takes as much preparation as an off-the-cuff talk.

Most of the fear that spoils our life comes from attacking difficulties before we get to them.

This wasn't just plain terrible, this was fancy terrible. This was terrible with raisins in it.

The whole world is a scab. The point is to pick it constructively.

In "King Henry VI, Part II," Shakespeare has Dick Butcher suggest to his fellow anti-establishment rabble-rousers, "The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers." That action may be extreme but a similar sentiment was expressed by Thomas K. Co

"I understand this is your first dead client," Sabian was saying. The absurdity of the statement made me want to laugh but they don't call me Deadpan Allie and lie.

I went to my mother and told her I intended to commence a different life. I asked for and obtained her blessing and at once commenced the career of a robber.

The marriage of Marxism and feminism has been like the marriage of husband and wife depicted in English common law: Marxism and feminism are one, and that one is marxism.

It is annoying to be honest to no purpose.

... A solemn, unsmiling, sanctimonious old iceberg who looked like he was waiting for a vacancy in the Trinity.

"Listen to what I say, not what I mean. I mean ...."

"Remember, if it's being done correctly, here or abroad, it's ___not the U.S. Army doing it!"

I often quote myself; it adds spice to my conversation.

Once there lived a village of creatures along the bottom of a great crystal river. Each creature in its own manner clung tightly to the twigs and rocks of the river bottom, for clinging was their way of life, and resisting the current what each had

If Karl, instead of writing a lot about Capital, had made a lot of Capital, it would have been much better.

Luck can't last a lifetime, unless you die young.

Never appeal to a man's "better nature." He may not have one. Invoking his self-interest gives you more leverage.

The superpowers often behave like two heavily armed blind men feeling their way around a room, each believing himself in mortal peril from the other, whom he assumes to have perfect vision. Each tends to ascribe to the other side a consistency, fors

Most Texans think Hanukkah is some sort of duck call.

Don't go to bed with no price on your head.

Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet?

Isn't it nice that people who prefer Los Angeles to San Francisco live there?

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What on earth would a man do with himself if something did not stand in his way?

True to our past we work with an inherited, observed, and accepted vision of personal futility, and of the beauty of the world.

We are all worms. But I do believe I am a glowworm.

"Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under Communism, it's just the opposite."

Democracy becomes a government of bullies, tempered by editors.

Andrea: Unhappy the land that has no heroes. Galileo: No, unhappy the land that _____needs heroes.

I'll never get off this planet.

Indeed, the first noble truth of Buddhism, usually translated as `all life is suffering,' is more accurately rendered `life is filled with a sense of pervasive unsatisfactoriness.'

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

In the first place, God made idiots; this was for practice; then he made school boards.

That must be wonderful: I don't understand it at all.

When the President does it, that means it is not illegal.

The dirty work at political conventions is almost always done in the grim hours between midnight and dawn. Hangmen and politicians work best when the human spirit is at its lowest ebb.

"In Christianity neither morality nor religion come into contact with reality at any point."

Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years.

Goals... Plans... they're fantasies, they're part of a dream world...

It's not easy, being green.

The state of innocence contains the germs of all future sin.

I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America and to the republic for which it stands, one nation, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.

Many a sober Christian would rather admit that a wafer is God than that God is a cruel and capricious tyrant.

All is well that ends well.

Optimism is the content of small men in high places.

The future is a race between education and catastrophe.

Patience is the best remedy for every trouble.

Don't do the crime, if you can't do the time.

He who makes a beast of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man.

A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain.

Women are nothing but machines for producing children.

"There was an interesting development in the CBS-Westmoreland trial: both sides agreed that after the trial, Andy Rooney would be allowed to talk to the jury for three minutes about little things that annoyed him during the trial."

He knows not how to know who knows not also how to unknow.

It's no surprise that things are so screwed up: everyone that knows how to run a government is either driving taxicabs or cutting hair.

The Law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich, as well as the poor, to sleep under the bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread.

I don't know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.

Lay off the muses, it's a very tough dollar.

Silence is the element in which great things fashion themselves.