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A yawn is a silent shout.

Jack Handley

I love mankind ... It's people I hate.

Jackson Glenda

"Is it just me, or does anyone else read `bible humpers' every time someone writes `bible thumpers?'

Jackson Justice Robert H.

I dread success. To have succeeded is to have finished one's business on earth, like the male spider, who is killed by the female the moment he has succeeded in his courtship. I like a state of continual becoming, with a goal in front and not behin

Jackson Justice Robert H.

What you want, what you're hanging around in the world waiting for, is for something to occur to you.

Jackson Justice Robert H.

If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.

Jackson Andrew

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.

Jagger Mick

Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it.

James Clive

"Listen to what I say, not what I mean. I mean ...."

James William

Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them. There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.

James William

When you say that you agree to a thing in principle, you mean that you have not the slightest intention of carrying it out in practice.

James Agate

Unprovided with original learning, unformed in the habits of thinking, unskilled in the arts of composition, I resolved to write a book.

Jane Wagner

Art is a lie which makes us realize the truth.

Jarry Alfred

"Give me enough medals, and I'll win any war."

Jean Giraudoux

A priest asked: What is Fate, Master? And the Master answered: It is that which gives a beast of burden its reason for existence. It is that which men in former times had to bear upon their backs. It is that which has caused nations to build bywa

Jefferson Thomas

The future is a race between education and catastrophe.

Jefferson Thomas

The day will come when the mystical generation of Jesus, by the Supreme Being as his Father, in the womb of a virgin will be classified with the fable of the generation of Minerva in the brain of Jupiter. But we may hope that the dawn of reason and

Jefferson Thomas

He was a fiddler, and consequently a rogue.

Jefferson Thomas

Usually, when a lot of men get together, it's called a war.

Jefferson Thomas

I'll give you my opinion of the human race in a nutshell ... their heart's in the right place, but their head is a thoroughly inefficient organ.

Jefferson Thomas

But you shall not escape my iambics.

Jefferson Thomas

A conservative is a man who believes that nothing should be done for the first time.

Jefferson Thomas

The danger is not that a particular class is unfit to govern. Every class is unfit to govern.

Jefferson Thomas

When the going gets tough, everyone leaves.

Jefferson Thomas

Everyone is more or less mad on one point.

Jerome Jerome K.

You know how to win a victory, Hannibal, but not how to use it.

Jerome Jerome Klapka

Our parents were of Midwestern stock and very strict. They didn't want us to grow up to be spoiled and rich. If we left our tennis racquets in the rain, we were punished.

Jerome Saint

The Worst Car Hire Service When David Schwartz left university in 1972, he set up Rent-a-wreck as a joke. Being a natural prankster, he acquired a fleet of beat-up shabby, wreckages waiting for the scrap heap in California. He put on a cap and lo

Jerrold Douglas

A liberal is a person whose interests aren't at stake at the moment.

Jessel Sir George

I hate quotations.

Jessica Salmonson

I recognize terror as the finest emotion and so I will try to terrorize the reader. But if I find that I cannot terrify, I will try to horrify, and if I find that I cannot horrify, I'll go for the gross-out.


What we do not understand we do not possess.

Jim Strange de

Time is but the stream I go a-fishing in.

Jim Strange de

Nothing recedes like success.

Jim Strange de

Time as he grows old teaches all things.

Jim Starlin

Hope is a waking dream.

Jim Starlin

Politicians should read science fiction, not westerns and detective stories.

Jim Steinman

If one cannot enjoy reading a book over and over again, there is no use in reading it at all.

Jimmy Crazy

"It's kind of fun to do the impossible."

Jitterbu Tom Robbins

Whenever the literary German dives into a sentence, that is the last you are going to see of him until he emerges on the other side of his Atlantic with his verb in his mouth.

Joan Didion

I go the way that Providence dictates.

Joan Didion

On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does.

Joel Chandler Harris

Tempt not a desperate man.

Joel M. Snyder

The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence.


Don't talk to me about naval tradition. It's nothing but rum, sodomy and the lash.

Joh Lyndon B.

I have discovered the art of deceiving diplomats. I tell them the truth and they never believe me.

John Ball

He who renders warfare fatal to all engaged in it will be the greatest benefactor the world has yet known.

John Barrymore

It is often the case that the man who can't tell a lie thinks he is the best judge of one.

John Denver

The man who follows the crowd will usually get no further than the crowd. The man who walks alone is likely to find himself in places no one has ever been.

John Dewey

A game can by God repent or we'll punish it. That's how they did it in Salem in the seventeenth century, and that's how we'll do it now.

John Donne

"Earth is a great, big funhouse without the fun."

John Gardner

Educational television should be absolutely forbidden. It can only lead to unreasonable disappointment when your child discovers that the letters of the alphabet do not leap up out of books and dance around with royal-blue chickens.

John Hunt British

Rebellion lay in his way, and he found it.

John Kennedy

Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.

John Kenneth Galbraith

There is a road to freedom. Its milestones are Obedience, Endeavor, Honesty, Order, Cleanliness, Sobriety, Truthfulness, Sacrifice, and love of the Fatherland.

John LeCarre

Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired signifies in the final sense, a theft from those who hunger and are not fed, those who are cold and are not clothed. This world in arms is not spending money alone. It is spending t

John Lightfoot

The only thing that stops God from sending a second Flood is that the first one was useless.

John The Dragon to Grendel in

It is better to have loved and lost

Johnson Dave

The aim of a joke is not to degrade the human being but to remind him that he is already degraded.

Johnson Dr.

Don't change the reason, just change the excuses!

Johnson Dr.

Walking on water wasn't built in a day.

Johnson Lyndon Baines

He who writes with no misspelled words has prevented a first suspicion on the limits of his scholarship or, in the social world, of his general education and culture.

Johnson S.

Necessity hath no law.

Johnson Samuel

Human kind cannot bear very much reality.

Johnson Samuel

It's the opinion of some that crops could be grown on the moon. Which raises the fear that it may not be long before we're paying somebody not to.

Johnson Samuel

I have always noticed that whenever a radical takes to Imperialism, he catches it in a very acute form.

Johnson Samuel

"I can remember when a good politician had to be 75 percent ability and 25 percent actor, but I can well see the day when the reverse could be true."

Johnson Samuel

The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.

Johnson Samuel

When the English language gets in my way, I walk over it.

Johnson Samuel

I'll never get off this planet.


Furious activity is no substitute for understanding.

Johnson Lyndon

Exceptions prove the rule, and wreck the budget.

Johnston M. M.

The lawgiver, of all beings, most owes the law allegiance. He of all men should behave as though the law compelled him. But it is the universal weakness of mankind that what we are given to administer we presently imagine we own.

Joke The Killing

When there are two conflicting versions of the story, the wise course is to believe the one in which people appear at their worst.

Jones Carolyn

The shortest distance between two points is under construction.

Jones Franklin P.

Where it is a duty to worship the sun it is pretty sure to be a crime to examine the laws of heat.

Jones Franklin P.

I always pass on good advice. It is the only thing to do with it. It is never any good to oneself.

Jones Franklin P.

Three things have been difficult to tame: The oceans, fools, and women. We may soon be able to tame the ocean. Fools and women will take a little longer.

Jones Franklin P.

Divorce is a game played by lawyers.

Jones Thomas

I've touch'd the highest point of all my greatness; And from that full meridian of my glory I haste now to my setting. I shall fall, Like a bright exhalation in the evening And no man see me more.

Jones] Chuck

The way I understand it, the Russians are sort of a combination of evil and incompetence... sort of like the Post Office with tanks.

Joost van den Vondel

Beware of mathematicians and all those who make empty prophecies. The danger already exists that the mathematicians have made covenant with the devil to darken the spirit and to confine man in the bonds of hell.

Joplin Janis

Naked children have never played in _o_u_r fountains, and I.M. Pei will never be happy on Route 66.

Jorge Luis Borges

"Benson, you are so free of the ravages of intelligence"

Joseph Gallo

Hollywood is where if you don't have happiness you send out for it.

Joubert Joseph

Even if you do learn to speak correct English, whom are you going to speak it to?

Journal Albuquerque

The rule is, jam to-morrow and jam yesterday, but never jam today.

Journal The Wall Street

I'm going to Vietnam at the request of the White House. President Johnson says a war isn't really a war without my jokes.

Joyce James

No man is useless who has a friend, and if we are loved we are indispensable.

Joyce James

Defeat is worse than death because you have to live with defeat.

Juan Don

You cannot see the wood for the trees.

Judith Martin

The possession of a book becomes a substitute for reading it.

Judy Garland

Ben, why didn't you tell me?

Juliana Queen

It is often easier to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission.

Julius Caesar

From the cradle to the coffin underwear comes first.

Jun Esquire

The trouble with telling a good story is that it invariably reminds the other fellow of a dull one.

Jung Carl

Satire is tragedy plus time.

Jung C.G.

Never take a resume seriously. Resumes only make money for the people who write the resumes. No resume ever tells an employer how many times a job applicant has had the clap. Why, indeed, would anyone hire a person based on a resume written by a

Juvenalis Decimus Junius

The very remembrance of my former misfortune proves a new one to me.

Juvenalis Decimus Junius

Random Quote

A man would still do something out of sheer perversity - he would create destruction and chaos - just to gain his point... and if all this could in turn be analyzed and prevented by predicting that it would occur, then man would deliberately go mad t
Feodor Dostoevsky

deep thoughts of brillyant genius of human history
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