The idea there was that consumers would bring their broken electronic devices, such as television sets and VCR's, to the destruction centers, where trained personnel would whack them (the devices) with sledgehammers. With their devices thus permanent

What does education often do? It makes a straight cut ditch of a free meandering brook.

Executive ability is deciding quickly and getting somebody else to do the work.

I recognize terror as the finest emotion and so I will try to terrorize the reader. But if I find that I cannot terrify, I will try to horrify, and if I find that I cannot horrify, I'll go for the gross-out.

If the colleges were better, if they really had it, you would need to get the police at the gates to keep order in the inrushing multitude. See in college how we thwart the natural love of learning by leaving the natural method of teaching what each

It took me fifteen years to discover that I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by that time I was too famous.

Men will fuck mud.

Many of the characters are fools and they are always playing tricks on me and treating me badly.

I BET WHAT HAPPENED was they discovered fire and invented the wheel on the same day. Then that night, they burned the wheel.

For thee the wonder-working earth puts forth sweet flowers.

We rarely find anyone who can say he has lived a happy life, and who, content with his life, can retire from the world like a satisfied guest.

I was part of that strange race of people aptly described as spending their lives doing things they detest to make money they don't want to buy things they don't need to impress people they dislike.

I can't understand why a person will take a year or two to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars.

The race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, but that's the way to bet.

I hate quotations.

All hope abandon, ye who enter here!

Then a man said: Speak to us of Expectations. He then said: If a man does not see or hear the waters of the Jordan, then he should not taste the pomegranate or ply his wares in an open market. If a man would not labour in the salt and rock quarri

I have seen the future and it is just like the present, only longer.

Ask not for whom the Bell tolls, and you will pay only the station-to-station rate.

Ah, but a man's grasp should exceed his reach, Or what's a heaven for ?

Term, holidays, term, holidays, till we leave school, and then work, work, work till we die.

"Consequences, Schmonsequences, as long as I'm rich."

Education and religion are two things not regulated by supply and demand. The less of either the people have, the less they want.

Talking about music is like dancing about architecture.

Art is Nature speeded up and God slowed down.

I paid a visit to my local precinct in Greenwich Village and asked a sergeant to show me some rape statistics. He politely obliged. That month there had been thirty-five rape complaints, an advance of ten over the same month for the previous year.

I wish there was a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence. There's a knob called "brightness", but it doesn't seem to work.

The Soviet pre-eminence in chess can be traced to the average Russian's readiness to brood obsessively over anything, even the arrangement of some pieces of wood. Indeed, the Russians' predisposition for quiet reflection followed by sudden preventi

America is a melting pot. You know, where those on the bottom get burned, and the scum rises to the top.

The possession of a book becomes a substitute for reading it.

I believe that the moment is near when by a procedure of active paranoiac thought, it will be possible to systematize confusion and contribute to the total discrediting of the world of reality.

In dwelling, be close to the land. In meditation, delve deep into the heart. In dealing with others, be gentle and kind. In speech, be true. In work, be competent. In action, be careful of your timing.

Sho' they got to have it against the law. Shoot, ever'body git high, they wouldn't be nobody git up and feed the chickens. Hee-hee.

You can observe a lot just by watching.

The first rule of all intelligent tinkering is to keep all the parts.

He was a fiddler, and consequently a rogue.

It's from Casablanca. I've been waiting all my life to use that line.

It's not easy, being green.

IV. The time required for an object to fall twenty stories is greater than or equal to the time it takes for whoever knocked it off the ledge to spiral down twenty flights to attempt to capture it unbroken. Such an object is inevitably price

Nothing will dispel enthusiasm like a small admission fee.

The big cities of America are becoming Third World countries.

The sky is blue so we know where to stop mowing.

Laws are like sausages. It's better not to see them being made.

Eighteen goddess-like daughters are not equal to one son with a hump.

Two wrongs are only the beginning.

She cried, and the judge wiped her tears with my checkbook.

He who makes a beast of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man.

Nitwit ideas are for emergencies. You use them when you've got nothing else to try. If they work, they go in the Book. Otherwise you follow the Book, which is largely a collection of nitwit ideas that worked.

I have a very strange feeling about this...

Look ere ye leap.

Grig (the navigator): ... so you see, it's just the two of us against the entire space armada. Alex (the gunner): What?!? Grig: I've always wanted to fight a desperate battle against overwhelming odds. Alex: It'll be a slaughter! Grig: That'

Some men are heterosexual, and some are bisexual, and some men don't think about sex at all... they become lawyers.

Rembrandt is not to be compared in the painting of character with our extraordinarily gifted English artist, Mr. Rippingille.

Someday, Weederman, we'll look back on all this and laugh... It will probably be one of those deep, eerie ones that slowly builds to a blood-curdling maniacal scream... but still it will be a laugh.

There are ten or twenty basic truths, and life is the process of discovering them over and over and over.

If a man has a strong faith he can indulge in the luxury of skepticism.

There is a natural hootchy-kootchy to a goldfish.

Goals... Plans... they're fantasies, they're part of a dream world...

Mother is far too clever to understand anything she does not like.

For certain people, after fifty, litigation takes the place of sex.

I owe the public nothing.

Column 1 Column 2 Column 3 0. integrated 0. management 0. options 1. total 1. organizational 1. flexibility 2. systematized 2. monitored 2. capability 3. parallel 3. reciprocal 3. mobility 4. functional 4. digital 4. programming 5. re

It was the next morning that the armies of Twodor marched east laden with long lances, sharp swords, and death-dealing hangovers. The thousands were led by Arrowroot, who sat limply in his sidesaddle, nursing a whopper. Goodgulf, Gimlet, and the r

If I had a plantation in Georgia and a home in Hell, I'd sell the plantation and go home.

A platitude is simply a truth repeated till people get tired of hearing it.

It's pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness; poverty and wealth have both failed.

Campus sidewalks never exist as the straightest line between two points.

Fortune Documents the Great Legal Decisions: We think that we may take judicial notice of the fact that the term "bitch" may imply some feeling of endearment when applied to a female of the canine species but that it is seldom, if ever, so used whe

The greatest griefs are those we cause ourselves.

Don't guess

Ignorance is the Mother of Devotion.

Take care of the luxuries and the necessities will take care of themselves.

One learns to itch where one can scratch.

You must be the change you wish to see in the world.

The faster we go, the rounder we get.

Immature artists imitate, mature artists steal.

Like ya know? Rock 'N Roll is an esoteric language that unlocks the creativity chambers in people's brains, and like totally activates their essential hipness, which of course is like totally necessary for saving the earth, like because the first th

Murray and Esther, a middle-aged Jewish couple, are touring Chile. Murray just got a new camera and is constantly snapping pictures. One day, without knowing it, he photographs a top-secret military installation. In an instant, armed troops surroun

If the ends don't justify the means, then what does?

Fast ship? You mean you've never heard of the Millennium Falcon?

The Least Successful Equal Pay Advertisement In 1976 the European Economic Community pointed out to the Irish Government that it had not yet implemented the agreed sex equality legislation. The Dublin Government immediately advertised for an equal

It has long been noticed that juries are pitiless for robbery and full of indulgence for infanticide. A question of interest, my dear Sir! The jury is afraid of being robbed and has passed the age when it could be a victim of infanticide.

Mundus vult decipi decipiatur ergo.

A sinking ship gathers no moss.

When the ax entered the forest, the trees said, "The handle is one of us!"

Sorry 'bout that sweat, honey. That's just holy water.

A wise person makes his own decisions, a weak one obeys public opinion.

Men freely believe that what they wish to desire.

If I cannot bend Heaven, I shall move Hell.

Human resources are human first, and resources second.

Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. My advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.

Darth Vader! Only you would be so bold!

The man-hating woman, like the cold woman, is largely imaginary. She is simply a woman who has done her best to snare a man and has failed.

Think sideways!

He played the king as if afraid someone else would play the ace.