Better tried by twelve than carried by six.

It is so stupid of modern civilisation to have given up believing in the devil when he is the only explanation of it.

Take what you can use and let the rest go by.

The more laws and order are made prominent, the more thieves and robbers there will be.

Call on God, but row away from the rocks.

Never invest your money in anything that eats or needs repainting.

Well, he thought, since neither Aristotelian Logic nor the disciplines of Science seemed to offer much hope, it's time to go beyond them... Drawing a few deep even breaths, he entered a mental state practiced only by Masters of the Universal Way of

Nice guys finish last.

Money can't buy love, but it improves your bargaining position.

Well, the handwriting is on the floor.

Here's to women. Would that we could fall into her arms without falling into her hands.

You have to run as fast as you can just to stay where you are. If you want to get anywhere, you'll have to run much faster.

Beware of all enterprises that require new clothes, and not rather a new wearer of clothes.

If I had a formula for bypassing trouble, I would not pass it around. Trouble creates a capacity to handle it. I don't say embrace trouble; that's as bad as treating it as an enemy. But I do say meet it as a friend, for you'll see a lot of it and y

If little green men land in your back yard, hide any little green women you've got in the house.

And tomorrow will be like today, only more so.

"Hey, Sam, how about a loan?" "Whattaya need?" "Oh, about $500." "Whattaya got for collateral?" "Whattaya need?" "How about an eye?"

Plastic... Aluminum... These are the inheritors of the Universe! Flesh and Blood have had their day... and that day is past!

"Do you think there's a God?" "Well, ____SOMEbody's out to get me!"

A society in which women are taught anything but the management of a family, the care of men, and the creation of the future generation is a society which is on its way out.

He has not acquired a fortune; the fortune has acquired him.

While there's life, there's hope.

An ounce of hypocrisy is worth a pound of ambition.

Optimism is the content of small men in high places.

The problem with any unwritten law is that you don't know where to go to erase it.

Any stone in your boot always migrates against the pressure gradient to exactly the point of most pressure.

Those who do things in a noble spirit of self-sacrifice are to be avoided at all costs.

To do two things at once is to do neither.

I love treason but hate a traitor.

Facts, apart from their relationships, are like labels on empty bottles.

The executioner is, I hear, very expert, and my neck is very slender.

All hope abandon, ye who enter here!

What does not destroy me, makes me stronger.

... a thing called Ethics, whose nature was confusing but if you had it you were a High-Class Realtor and if you hadn't you were a shyster, a piker and a fly-by-night. These virtues awakened Confidence and enabled you to handle Bigger Propositions.

The time spent on any item of the agenda [of a finance committee] will be in inverse proportion to the sum involved.

Many hands make light work.

There is more to life than increasing its speed.

Receiving a million dollars tax free will make you feel better than being flat broke and having a stomach ache.

It is imperative when flying coach that you restrain any tendency toward the vividly imaginative. For although it may momentarily appear to be the case, it is not at all likely that the cabin is entirely inhabited by crying babies smoking inexpensiv

Remember that there is an outside world to see and enjoy.

The rights and interests of the laboring man will be protected and cared for not by our labor agitators, but by the Christian men to whom God in his infinite wisdom has given control of property interests of the country, and upon the successful manag

The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that, you've got it made.

A good reputation is more valuable than money.

Life would be tolerable but for its amusements.

Credit ... is the only enduring testimonial to man's confidence in man.

Life being what it is, one dreams of revenge.

The race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, but that's the way to bet.

Events are not affected, they develop.

Beggars should be no choosers.

Just because everything is different doesn't mean anything has changed.

Men freely believe that what they wish to desire.

I don't have any solution but I certainly admire the problem.

Time goes, you say? Ah no! Time stays, *we* go.

One man's brain plus one other will produce one half as many ideas as one man would have produced alone. These two plus two more will produce half again as many ideas. These four plus four more begin to represent a creative meeting, and the ratio c

A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back the when it begins to rain.

If you wish to be happy for one hour, get drunk. If you wish to be happy for three days, get married. If you wish to be happy for a month, kill your pig and eat it. If you wish to be happy forever, learn to fish.

A wise person makes his own decisions, a weak one obeys public opinion.

Think lucky. If you fall in a pond, check your pockets for fish.

Maternity pay? Now every Tom, Dick and Harry will get pregnant.

Age before beauty; and pearls before swine.

At ebb tide I wrote a line upon the sand, and gave it all my heart and all my soul. At flood tide I returned to read what I had inscribed and found my ignorance upon the shore.

A witty saying proves nothing.

Prediction is very difficult, especially of the future.

The great question that has never been answered and which I have not yet been able to answer despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul is: WHAT DOES A WOMAN WANT?

The first myth of management is that it exists. The second myth of management is that success equals skill.

Moneyliness is next to Godliness.

Only that in you which is me can hear what I'm saying.

Live fast, die young, and leave a flat patch of fur on the highway!

One learns to itch where one can scratch.

The tree in which the sap is stagnant remains fruitless.

You must be the change you wish to see in the world.

The trouble with the rat-race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.

When eating an elephant take one bite at a time.

I BET WHAT HAPPENED was they discovered fire and invented the wheel on the same day. Then that night, they burned the wheel.

Anyone can hold the helm when the sea is calm.

Walking on water wasn't built in a day.

I just asked myself... what would John DeLorean do?

The greatest productive force is human selfishness.

Every young man should have a hobby: learning how to handle money is the best one.

"I'm dying," he croaked. "My experiment was a success," the chemist retorted . "You can't really train a beagle," he dogmatized. "That's no beagle, it's a mongrel," she muttered. "The fire is going out," he bellowed. "Bad marksmanship," the h

The first rule of intelligent tinkering is to save all the parts.

Work is of two kinds: first, altering the position of matter at or near the earth's surface relative to other matter; second, telling other people to do so.

"Given the choice between accomplishing something and just lying around, I'd rather lie around. No contest."

There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?

There is nothing so easy but that it becomes difficult when you do it reluctantly.

If the English language made any sense, lackadaisical would have something to do with a shortage of flowers.

If what they've been doing hasn't solved the problem, tell them to do something else.

Business will be either better or worse.

There is no comfort without pain; thus we define salvation through suffering.

If you aren't rich you should always look useful.

"You mean, if you allow the master to be uncivil, to treat you any old way he likes, and to insult your dignity, then he may deem you fit to hear his view of things?" "Quite the contrary. You must defend your integrity, assuming you have integrit

One of your most ancient writers, a historian named Herodotus, tells of a thief who was to be executed. As he was taken away he made a bargain with the king: in one year he would teach the king's favorite horse to sing hymns. The other prisoners wa

A snake lurks in the grass.

Know what I hate most? Rhetorical questions.