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Living in LA is like not having a date on Saturday night.

Kafka F.

The use of money is all the advantage there is to having money.

Kafka Franz

"Are you police officers?" "No, ma'am. We're musicians."

Kahlil Gibran

Ain't no right way to do a wrong thing.

Kahn Alfred

He thought of Musashi, the Sword Saint, standing in his garden more than three hundred years ago. "What is the 'Body of a rock'?" he was asked. In answer, Musashi summoned a pupil of his and bid him kill himself by slashing his abdomen with a knife.

Kaiser Henry J.

Judges, as a class, display, in the matter of arranging alimony, that reckless generosity which is found only in men who are giving away someone else's cash.

Kandel Howard

I went into a bar feeling a little depressed, the bartender said, "What'll you have, Bud"? I said," I don't know, surprise me". So he showed me a nude picture of my wife.

Kandel Howard

When properly administered, vacations do not diminish productivity: for every week you're away and get nothing done, there's another when your boss is away and you get twice as much done.

Kant Immanuel

There are people who find it odd to eat four or five Chinese meals in a row; in China, I often remind them, there are a billion or so people who find nothing odd about it.

Karl Kraus

The coast was clear.

Karl Menninger

I value kindness to human beings first of all, and kindness to animals. I don't respect the law; I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger, the food cheaper, and old men

Kasspe Arthur

Age before beauty; and pearls before swine.

Kaufman George

It is your concern when your neighbor's wall is on fire.

Kaufman George S.

One big pile is better than two little piles.

Kaufman Stanley

Once harm has been done, even a fool understands it.

Kaul Donald

If a man stay away from his wife for seven years, the law presumes the separation to have killed him; yet according to our daily experience, it might well prolong his life.

Kaul Donald

Zero Mostel: That's it baby! When you got it, flaunt it! Flaunt it!

Kay Alan

Save the Whales

Kay Alan

The race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, but that's the way to bet.

Ke John F.

Look, we trade every day out there with hustlers, deal-makers, shysters, con-men. That's the way businesses get started. That's the way this country was built.

Keats John

The only reward of virtue is virtue.

Kehlog Albran

You can fool all the people all of the time if the advertising is right and the budget is big enough.

Kehlog Albran

If you catch a man, throw him back.

Kehlog Albran

A prediction is worth twenty explanations.

Kehlog Albran

The college graduate is presented with a sheepskin to cover his intellectual nakedness.

Kehlog Albran

Laws are like sausages. It's better not to see them being made.

Kehlog Albran

Traveling through hyperspace isn't like dusting crops, boy.

Keillor Garrison

If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library?

Keillor Garrison

I've got all the money I'll ever need if I die by 4 o'clock.

Keillor Garrison

Someday, Weederman, we'll look back on all this and laugh... It will probably be one of those deep, eerie ones that slowly builds to a blood-curdling maniacal scream... but still it will be a laugh.

Keller Helen

Ask not for whom the Bell tolls, and you will pay only the station-to-station rate.

Kelly Walt

Fill what's empty, empty what's full, scratch where it itches.

Kempis Thomas `a

Divorce is a game played by lawyers.

Kempis Thomas `a

Certain passages in several laws have always defied interpretation and the most inexplicable must be a matter of opinion. A judge of the Court of Session of Scotland has sent the editors of this book his candidate which reads, "In the Nuts (unground


The Law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich, as well as the poor, to sleep under the bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread.

Kennedy J.F.

My problem lies in reconciling my gross habits with my net income.

Kennedy J.F.

If you would know the value of money, go try to borrow some.

Kennedy J.F.

Monterey... is decidedly the pleasantest and most civilized-looking place in California ... [it] is also a great place for cock-fighting, gambling of all sorts, fandangos, and various kinds of amusements and knavery.

Kennedy John F.

The chief enemy of creativity is "good" sense

Kennedy John F.

Education is what survives when what has been learnt has been forgotten.

Kennedy John F.

If while you are in school, there is a shortage of qualified personnel in a particular field, then by the time you graduate with the necessary qualifications, that field's employment market is glutted.

Kennedy John F.

I am, in point of fact, a particularly haughty and exclusive person, of pre-Adamite ancestral descent. You will understand this when I tell you that I can trace my ancestry back to a protoplasmal primordial atomic globule. Consequently, my family p

Kennedy John Fitzgerald

Before he became a hermit, Zarathud was a young Priest, and took great delight in making fools of his opponents in front of his followers. One day Zarathud took his students to a pleasant pasture and there he confronted The Sacred Chao while She

Kennedy John

The sunlights differ, but there is only one darkness.

Kennedy Joseph

Crito, I owe a cock to Asclepius; will you remember to pay the debt?

Kennedy Joseph P.

An atom-blaster is a good weapon, but it can point both ways.

Kenobi Obi-wan

The typewriting machine, when played with expression, is no more annoying than the piano when played by a sister or near relation.

Kerouac Jack

Go ahead... make my day.

Kerouac Jack

There are no accidents whatsoever in the universe.

Kerr Jean

"Why are we importing all these highbrow plays like `Amadeus'? I could have told you Mozart was a jerk for nothing."

Kesey Ken

Call on God, but row away from the rocks.

Kesey Ken

Think sideways!

Kessler Leo

Art is Nature speeded up and God slowed down.

Kessler Leo

A witty saying proves nothing.

Kessler Leo

An investment in knowledge always pays the best interest.

Keynes John Maynard

If we don't survive, we don't do anything else.

Keynes John Maynard

In a hierarchy every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence ... in time every post tends to be occupied by an employee who is incompetent to carry out its duties ... Work is accomplished by those employees who have not yet reached their

Keynes John Maynard

Gay shlafen: Yiddish for "go to sleep". Now doesn't "gay shlafen" have a softer, more soothing sound than the harsh, staccato "go to sleep"? Listen to the difference: "Go to sleep, you little wretch!" ... "Gay shlafen, darling." Obvious, isn't

Keyser. C.J.

When alerted to an intrusion by tinkling glass or otherwise, 1) Calm yourself 2) Identify the intruder 3) If hostile, kill him. Step number 3 is of particular importance. If you leave the guy alive out of misguided softheartedness, he will repay y

Khrushchev Nikita

Laws are like sausages. It's better not to see them being made.

Kierkegaard S.

He who despairs over an event is a coward, but he who holds hopes for the human condition is a fool.

Kierkegaard Soren

Wishing without work is like fishing without bait.

Kierkegaard Soren

Trifles make perfection, and perfection is no trifle.

Kiernan P.B.A. President E. J.

Modern art is what happens when painters stop looking at girls and persuade themselves that they have a better idea.

Kiner Ralph

Ninety percent of the time things turn out worse than you thought they would. The other ten percent of the time you had no right to expect that much.

King Stephen

Faith is under the left nipple.


He has not acquired a fortune; the fortune has acquired him.

Kipling Rudyard

"Well, if you can't believe what you read in a comic book, what *___can* you believe?!"

Kirk Lisa

The idea there was that consumers would bring their broken electronic devices, such as television sets and VCR's, to the destruction centers, where trained personnel would whack them (the devices) with sledgehammers. With their devices thus permanent

Kissinger Henry

Art is anything you can get away with.

Kissinger Henry

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.

Kissinger Henry

If a thing's worth doing, it is worth doing badly.

Kissinger Henry

Immature artists imitate, mature artists steal.

Kissinger Henry

How can you prove whether at this moment we are sleeping, and all our thoughts are a dream; or whether we are awake, and talking to one another in the waking state?

Kitman Marvin

Perhaps, after all, America never has been discovered. I myself would say that it had merely been detected.

Klein Robert

It'll be just like Beggars' Canyon back home.

Knapp R.S.

Littering is dumb.

Koblas G.S.

Great acts are made up of small deeds.


Most Texans think Hanukkah is some sort of duck call.

Kopp Thomas J.

The mome rath isn't born that could outgrabe me.

Koran The

If a shameless woman expects to be defiled and then dies of her fierce love because you do not consent, will chastity also be homicide?

Korda Alexander

The truth is what is; what should be is a dirty lie.

Korda Michael

We're living in a golden age. All you need is gold.

Korner Kenny's

A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats.

Krabill W.S.

How do you explain school to a higher intelligence?

Kraf Peter Kennedy

God was satisfied with his own work, and that is fatal.

Kraft Foods

We are not a loved organization, but we are a respected one.

Kraus Karl

The English instinctively admire any man who has no talent and is modest about it.

Kraus Karl

Optimism is the content of small men in high places.

Kraus Karl

Piece of cake!

Kristofferson Kris

Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. My advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.

Krutch Joseph Wood

Drop the vase and it will become a Ming of the past.

Kubrick Stanley

Indiana is a state dedicated to basketball. Basketball, soybeans, hogs and basketball. Berkeley, needless to say, is not nearly as athletic. Berkeley is dedicated to coffee, angst, potholes and coffee.

Kubrick Stanley

Since everything in life is but an experience perfect in being what it is, having nothing to do with good or bad, acceptance or rejection, one may well burst out in laughter.

Kurt Vonnegut

Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely.

Kurt Vonnegut

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The world's great men have not commonly been great scholars, nor its great scholars great men.
Holmes Oliver Wendell

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