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Facts are the enemy of truth.
 La Rouchefoucauld
One learns to itch where one can scratch.
 Lady Whiteadder
... so long as the people do not care to exercise their freedom, those
who wish to tyrranize will do so; for tyrants are active and ardent,
and will devote themselves in the name of any number of gods, religious
and otherwise, to put shackles upon sl Lafferty
R. A.
The mind is its own place, and in itself
Can make a Heav'n of Hell, a Hell of Heav'n.
 Lai
Chou En
Good government never depends upon laws, but upon the personal qualities of
those who govern. The machinery of government is always subordinate to the
will of those who administer that machinery. The most important element of
government, therefore, Lampoon
The Harvard
Writing is turning one's worst moments into money.
 Landers
Ann
The world's great men have not commonly been great scholars, nor its great
scholars great men.
 Lang
Andrew
If they were so inclined, they could impeach him because they don't like
his necktie.
 Langan L.M.
Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names
the streets after them.
 Lao Tsu
We're all in this alone.
 Lara
Michael
Just because you like my stuff doesn't mean I owe you anything.
 Lara
Michael
The truth is what is; what should be is a dirty lie.
 Lardner
David
The American system of ours, call it Americanism, call it Capitalism,
call it what you like, gives each and every one of us a great
opportunity if we only seize it with both hands and make the most of it.
 Lardner
Ring
A game can by God repent or we'll punish it.
That's how they did it in Salem in the seventeenth century,
and that's how we'll do it now.
 Lardner
Ring
Once the toothpaste is out of the tube, it's hard to get it back in.
 Larry Niven
Whatever it is, I fear Greeks even when they bring gifts.
 Larsen Dalglish
Canada Post doesn't really charge 32 cents for a stamp. It's 2 cents
for postage and 30 cents for storage.
 Larson
Erik
The Soviet pre-eminence in chess can be traced to the average
Russian's readiness to brood obsessively over anything, even the arrangement
of some pieces of wood. Indeed, the Russians' predisposition for quiet
reflection followed by sudden preventi Lascl
Christopher
If someone had told me I would be Pope one day, I would have studied harder.
 Laukikanyay.
I have had my television aerials removed. It's the moral equivalent
of a prostate operation.
 Lazarus
An honest tale speeds best being plainly told.
 Lazarus Long
A lot of people I know believe in positive thinking, and so do I. I
believe everything positively stinks.
 LeBoutillier
J.
I do not know whether I was then a man dreaming I was a butterfly, or
whether I am now a butterfly dreaming I am a man.
 LeGuin
Ursula K.
Don't be humble ... you're not that great.
 Lear
King
I went to a Grateful Dead Concert and they played for SEVEN hours. Great song.
 Leary
Tim
Those who have some means think that the most important thing in the
world is love. The poor know that it is money.
 Lebowitz Fran
Everything takes longer, costs more, and is less useful.
 Lebowitz Fran
Tallulah Bankhead barged down the Nile last night as Cleopatra and sank.
 Lebowitz Fran
Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles
as if she laid an asteroid.
 Lebowitz Fran
Going into politics is as fatal to a gentleman as going into a bordello
is fatal to a virgin.
 Leghorn
Foghorn
Best Mistakes In Films
In his "Filmgoer's Companion", Mr. Leslie Halliwell helpfully lists
four of the cinema's greatest moments which you should get to see if at all
possible.
In "Carmen Jones", the camera tracks with Dorothy Dandridge down a
st Leghorn
Foghorn
If you are of the opinion that the contemplation of suicide is sufficient
evidence of a poetic nature, do not forget that actions speak louder than words.
 Leghorn
Foghorn
Faith is under the left nipple.
 Lehman John
My own life has been spent chronicling the rise and fall of human systems,
and I am convinced that we are terribly vulnerable. ... We should be
reluctant to turn back upon the frontier of this epoch. Space is indifferent
to what we do; it has no fe Lehrer
Tom
The sky is blue so we know where to stop mowing.
 Lehrer
Tom
Fanaticism consists of redoubling your effort when you have forgotten your aim.
 Lehrer
Tom
Having the fewest wants, I am nearest to the gods.
 Lem
Stanislaw
The two party system ... is a triumph of the dialectic. It showed that
two could be one and one could be two and had probably been fabricated
by Hegel for the American market on a subcontract from General Dynamics.
 Lem
Stanislaw
"Yes, that was Richard Nixon. He used to be President. When he left
the White House, the Secret Service would count the silverware."
 Len Cool
Do not despair of life. You have no doubt force enough to overcome your
obstacles. Think of the fox prowling through wood and field in a winter night
for something to satisfy his hunger. Notwithstanding cold and hounds and
traps, his race survives Lenin
Vladimir Il'ich
The goys have proven the following theorem...
 Lenin
Home is where the hurt is.
 Lennon
John
The most delightful day after the one on which you buy a cottage in
the country is the one on which you resell it.
 Lennon John
Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. My advice to you is to have
nothing whatever to do with it.
 Leo Rosten
The world is full of people who have never, since childhood, met an
open doorway with an open mind.
 LeoGrande William
I go the way that Providence dictates.
 Leonard
Ohio Lt. Governor Paul
"She said, `I know you ... you cannot sing'. I said, `That's nothing,
you should hear me play piano.'"
 Leopardi
Giacomo
By perseverance the snail reached the Ark.
 Lerner
Max
Welcome to Lake Wobegon, where all the men are strong, the women are pretty,
and the children are above-average.
 Leslie Stephen
Plastic... Aluminum... These are the inheritors of the Universe!
Flesh and Blood have had their day... and that day is past!
 Leslie Stephen
In Marseilles they make half the toilet soap we consume in America, but
the Marseillaise only have a vague theoretical idea of its use, which they
have obtained from books of travel.
 Lester
Julius
The real purpose of books is to trap the mind into doing its own thinking.
 Letterman
David
When a place gets crowded enough to require ID's, social collapse is not
far away. It is time to go elsewhere. The best thing about space travel
is that it made it possible to go elsewhere.
 Letterman
David
The Law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich, as well as the poor,
to sleep under the bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread.
 Letterman
David
Beggars should be no choosers.
 Letterman
David
If the church put in half the time on covetousness that it does on lust,
this would be a better world.
 Letterman
David
If you go on with this nuclear arms race, all you are going to do is
make the rubble bounce.
 Letterman
David
Good-bye. I am leaving because I am bored.
 Letterman
David
A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and
ask for it back the when it begins to rain.
 Letterman
David
Reality is bad enough, why should I tell the truth?
 Levant
Oscar
In this world of sin and sorrow there is always something to be
thankful for; as for me, I rejoice that I am not a Republican.
 Levant
Oscar
We all live in a state of ambitious poverty.
 Levin
Bernard
"MOKE DAT YIGARETTE"
 Levine
Joseph E.
Another such victory over the Romans, and we are undone.
 Levinson
Leonard
By the middle 1880's, practically all the roads except those in
the South, were of the present standard gauge. The southern roads were
still five feet between rails.
It was decided to change the gauge of all southern roads to standard,
in one day Lew Sinclair
The fashion wears out more apparel than the man.
 Lewin
Ralph
Civilization is the limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessities.
 Lewis
C.S.
If built in great numbers, motels will be used for nothing but illegal
purposes.
 Lewis
C.S.
Yawd [noun, Bostonese]: the campus of Have Id.
 Lewis
Joe E.
Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition.
 Lewis
Joe E.
Catharsis is something I associate with pornography and crossword puzzles.
 Lewis
Richard
Lord, what fools these mortals be!
 Lewis
Sinclair
I always wake up at the crack of ice.
 Lewis Thomas
Termiter's argument that God is His own grandmother generated a surprising
amount of controversy among Church leaders, who on the one hand considered
the argument unsupported by scripture but on the other hand were unwilling
to risk offending God's g Li Woman's
Many enraged psychiatrists are inciting a weary butcher. The butcher is
weary and tired because he has cut meat and steak and lamb for hours and
weeks. He does not desire to chant about anything with raving psychiatrists,
but he sings about his gin Li Mark Twain
Life is the childhood of our immortality.
 Lie
Trygve
You can have peace. Or you can have freedom. Don't ever count on having
both at once.
 Liebling
A.J.
A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats.
 Liebling A.J.
Interesting poll results reported in today's New York Post: people on the
street in midtown Manhattan were asked whether they approved of the US
invasion of Grenada. Fifty-three percent said yes; 39 percent said no;
and 8 percent said "Gimme a quart Liepmann
Hans
Already the spirit of our schooling is permeated with the feeling that every
subject, every topic, every fact, every professed truth must be submitted
to a certain publicity and impartiality. All proffered samples of learning
must go to the same ass Lieutenant Kermit Tyler
The philosopher's treatment of a question is like the treatment of an illness.
 Lilly
John
From the cradle to the coffin underwear comes first.
 Lincoln
A.
"There was an interesting development in the CBS-Westmoreland trial:
both sides agreed that after the trial, Andy Rooney would be allowed to
talk to the jury for three minutes about little things that annoyed him
during the trial."
 Lincoln
Abraham
The past always looks better than it was. It's only pleasant because
it isn't here.
 Lincoln
Abraham
Let's talk about how to fill out your 1984 tax return. Here's an often
overlooked accounting technique that can save you thousands of dollars: For
several days before you put it in the mail, carry your tax return around
under your armpit. No IRS ag Lincoln
Abraham
Fortune and love befriend the bold.
 Lincoln
Abraham
We have art that we do not die of the truth.
 Lincoln
Abraham
The Least Successful Equal Pay Advertisement
In 1976 the European Economic Community pointed out to the Irish
Government that it had not yet implemented the agreed sex equality
legislation. The Dublin Government immediately advertised for an equal  Lincoln
Abraham
There's no such thing as a free lunch.
 Lincoln
Abraham
It's from Casablanca. I've been waiting all my life to use that line.
 Lincoln
Abraham
Politicians should read science fiction, not westerns and detective stories.
 Lindbergh
Charles
"Earth is a great, big funhouse without the fun."
 Ling
James J.
Circumstances rule men; men do not rule circumstances.
 Lippmann
Walter
I understand why you're confused. You're thinking too much.
 Lippmann
Walter
Unless hours were cups of sack, and minutes capons, and clocks the tongues
of bawds, and dials the signs of leaping houses, and the blessed sun himself
a fair, hot wench in flame-colored taffeta, I see no reason why thou shouldst
be so superfluous to Little
Mary Wilson
Wisdom is knowing what to do with what you know.
 Little
Rich
The world has many unintentionally cruel mechanisms that are not
designed for people who walk on their hands.
 Lloyd Kaufman
He who makes a beast of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man.
 Lo graffito in
The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.
 Locke
John
Majorities, of course, start with minorities.
 Lockridge Ross
Art is either plagiarism or revolution.
 Long
Lazarus
The cry has been that when war is declared, all opposition should therefore
be hushed. A sentiment more unworthy of a free country could hardly be
propagated. If the doctrine be admitted, rulers have only to declare war
and they are screened at onc Long
Lazarus
I acted to show my love for Jodie Foster.
 Long
Lazarus
Flame on!
 Long
Lazarus
The lawgiver, of all beings, most owes the law allegiance. He of all men
should behave as though the law compelled him. But it is the universal
weakness of mankind that what we are given to administer we presently imagine
we own.
 Long
Lazarus
Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
 Long
Lazarus
I've got a very bad feeling about this.
 Long
Lazarus
"...The name of the song is called 'Haddocks' Eyes'!"
"Oh, that's the name of the song, is it?" Alice said, trying to
feel interested.
"No, you don't understand," the Knight said, looking a little
vexed. "That's what the name is called. The nam Long
Lazarus
I have a dream. I have a dream that one day, on the red hills of Georgia,
the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slaveowners will be able to
sit down together at the table of brotherhood.
 Long
Lazarus
"If once a man indulges himself in murder, very soon he comes to think
little of robbing; and from robbing he next comes to drinking and
Sabbath-breaking, and from that to incivility and procrastination."
 Long
Lazarus
Fame is a vapor; popularity an accident; the only earthly certainty is
oblivion.
 Long
Russell
Aim for the moon. If you miss, you may hit a star.
 Longfellow
H.W.
Scrubbing floors and emptying bedpans has as much dignity as the Presidency.
 Longworth
A. R.
One picture is worth more than ten thousand words.
 Longworth
Alice Roosevelt
So so is good, very good, very excellent good:
and yet it is not; it is but so so.
 Longworth
Alice Roosevelt
Luck can't last a lifetime, unless you die young.
 Longworth
Alice Roosevelt
Blessed are the young, for they shall inherit the national debt.
 Loo Lewis Carroll
Like so many Americans, she was trying to construct a life that made
sense from things she found in gift shops.
 Louder P.G
Sometimes I wonder if I'm in my right mind. Then it passes off and I'm
as intelligent as ever.
 Louder P.G.
What fools these mortals be.
 Louder P.G. Wodehouse
A commune is where people join together to share their lack of wealth.
 Louisi Edwin Edwards
There's nothing in the middle of the road but yellow stripes and dead
armadillos.
 Lowell
James Russell
O, it is excellent
To have a giant's strength; but it is tyrannous
To use it like a giant.
 Lowell
Robert
The Angels want to wear my red shoes.
 Lowell James Russell
Art is anything you can get away with.
 Lubbock
John
Learning without thought is labor lost;
thought without learning is perilous.
 Luce
C.B.
If I had any humility I would be perfect.
 Luce
Clare Booth
If I have to lay an egg for my country, I'll do it.
 Lucinda Childs
There is nothing wrong with Southern California that a rise in the
ocean level wouldn't cure.
 Lula Pace Ripley
Walking on water wasn't built in a day.
 Lumsden
Marshall
It is difficult to produce a television documentary that is both
incisive and probing when every twelve minutes one is interrupted by
twelve dancing rabbits singing about toilet paper.
 Lur Terry Pratchett
Imagine what we can imagine!
 Lustbader
Eric Van
Perfection is reached, not when there is no longer anything to add, but
when there is no longer anything to take away.
 Luten
Daniel B.
The best executive is one who has sense enough to pick good people to do
what he wants done, and self-restraint enough to keep from meddling with
them while they do it.
 Luten
Daniel B.
I appreciate the fact that this draft was done in haste, but some of the
sentences that you are sending out in the world to do your work for you are
loitering in taverns or asleep beside the highway.
 Luther
Martin
A woman takes off her claim to respect along with her garments.
 Luther
Martin
On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only
nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter
what it does.
 Luther
Martin
"Somewhere", said Father Vittorini, "did Blake not speak of the
Machineries of Joy? That is, did not God promote environments, then
intimidate these Natures by provoking the existence of flesh, toy men and
women, such as are we all? And thus happi Lyly
John
Prisons are built with stones of Law, brothels with bricks of Religion.
 Lynch
Briefly stated, the findings are that when presented with an array of
data or a sequence of events in which they are instructed to discover
an underlying order, subjects show strong tendencies to perceive order
and causality in random arrays, to perc lose.
until you
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Random Quote
... [after the announcement of Vanguard] ... Secretary of Defense Charles
Wilson (the same "Engine Charlie" who once told the Senate, "[F]or years
I've thought that what was good for our country was good for General Motors,
and vice versa," probably  Smithsonian Maga
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