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In my experience, if you have to keep the lavatory door shut by extending your left leg, it's modern architecture.

La Rouchefoucauld

Never buy what you do not want because it is cheap; it will be dear to you.

Lady Whiteadder

The Anglo-Saxon conscience does not prevent the Anglo-Saxon from sinning, it merely prevents him from enjoying his sin.

Lafferty R. A.

Some scholars are like donkeys, they merely carry a lot of books.

Lai Chou En

What an artist dies with me!

Lampoon The Harvard

There are people who find it odd to eat four or five Chinese meals in a row; in China, I often remind them, there are a billion or so people who find nothing odd about it.

Landers Ann

Being a miner, as soon as you're too old and tired and sick and stupid to do your job properly, you have to go, where the very opposite applies with the judges.

Lang Andrew

We know all about the habits of the ant, we know all about the habits of the bee, but we know nothing at all about the habits of the oyster. It seems almost certain that we have been choosing the wrong time for studying the oyster.

Langan L.M.

I knew her before she was a virgin.

Lao Tsu

When I have one foot in the grave I will tell the truth about women. I shall tell it, jump into my coffin, pull the lid over me, and say, "Do what you like now."

Lara Michael

The English instinctively admire any man who has no talent and is modest about it.

Lara Michael

The universe is made of stories, not of atoms.

Lardner David

My father, a good man, told me, "Never lose your ignorance; you cannot replace it."

Lardner Ring

A yawn is a silent shout.

Lardner Ring

Do not despair of life. You have no doubt force enough to overcome your obstacles. Think of the fox prowling through wood and field in a winter night for something to satisfy his hunger. Notwithstanding cold and hounds and traps, his race survives

Larry Niven

Take your work seriously but never take yourself seriously; and do not take what happens either to yourself or your work seriously.

Larsen Dalglish

Be regular and orderly in your life, so that you may be violent and original in your work.

Larson Erik

The `loner' may be respected, but he is always resented by his colleagues, for he seems to be passing a critical judgment on them, when he may be simply making a limiting statement about himself.

Lascl Christopher

There is no distinctly native American criminal class except Congress.


Solipsists of the World... you are already united.


"Are you police officers?" "No, ma'am. We're musicians."

Lazarus Long

The pollution's at that awkward stage. Too thick to navigate and too thin to cultivate.

LeBoutillier J.

The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it.

LeGuin Ursula K.

If a man stay away from his wife for seven years, the law presumes the separation to have killed him; yet according to our daily experience, it might well prolong his life.

Lear King

Darth Vader! Only you would be so bold!

Leary Tim

Everything takes longer, costs more, and is less useful.

Lebowitz Fran

A rolling stone gathers no moss.

Lebowitz Fran

Boston State House is the hub of the Solar System. You couldn't pry that out of a Boston man if you had the tire of all creation straightened out for a crowbar.

Lebowitz Fran

Diary of a Young Girl LITE(tm)

Lebowitz Fran

I don't have any solution but I certainly admire the problem.

Leghorn Foghorn

What makes you think graduate school is supposed to be satisfying?

Leghorn Foghorn

Pauca sed matura. [Few but excellent.]

Leghorn Foghorn

If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything.

Lehman John

Whatever it is, I fear Greeks even when they bring gifts.

Lehrer Tom

It's all right letting yourself go as long as you can let yourself back.

Lehrer Tom

In spite of everything, I still believe that people are good at heart.

Lehrer Tom

The man who runs may fight again.

Lem Stanislaw

After his Ignoble Disgrace, Satan was being expelled from Heaven. As he passed through the Gates, he paused a moment in thought, and turned to God and said, "A new creature called Man, I hear, is soon to be created." "This is true," He replied.

Lem Stanislaw

"There was an interesting development in the CBS-Westmoreland trial: both sides agreed that after the trial, Andy Rooney would be allowed to talk to the jury for three minutes about little things that annoyed him during the trial."

Len Cool

For there are moments when one can neither think nor feel. And if one can neither think nor feel, she thought, where is one?

Lenin Vladimir Il'ich

Time as he grows old teaches all things.


Yes, I've now got this nice little apartment in New York, one of those L-shaped ones. Unfortunately, it's a lower case l.

Lennon John

A kind of Batman of contemporary letters.

Lennon John

Mind! I don't mean to say that I know, of my own knowledge, what there is particularly dead about a door-nail. I might have been inclined, myself, to regard a coffin-nail as the deadest piece of ironmongery in the trade. But the wisdom of our ances

Leo Rosten

Learning French is trivial: the word for horse is cheval, and everything else follows in the same way.

LeoGrande William

I reverently believe that the maker who made us all makes everything in New England, but the weather. I don't know who makes that, but I think it must be raw apprentices in the weather-clerks factory who experiment and learn how, in New England, fo

Leonard Ohio Lt. Governor Paul

"I understand this is your first dead client," Sabian was saying. The absurdity of the statement made me want to laugh but they don't call me Deadpan Allie and lie.

Leopardi Giacomo

Ignorance is never out of style. It was in fashion yesterday, it is the rage today, and it will set the pace tomorrow.

Lerner Max

Certain passages in several laws have always defied interpretation and the most inexplicable must be a matter of opinion. A judge of the Court of Session of Scotland has sent the editors of this book his candidate which reads, "In the Nuts (unground

Leslie Stephen

Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known.

Leslie Stephen

"Spare no expense to save money on this one."

Lester Julius

... A solemn, unsmiling, sanctimonious old iceberg who looked like he was waiting for a vacancy in the Trinity.

Letterman David

Life is one long struggle in the dark.

Letterman David

It is a wise father that knows his own child.

Letterman David

No problem is so formidable that you can't just walk away from it.

Letterman David

The white race is the cancer of history.

Letterman David

To err is human, to repent, divine, to persist, devilish.

Letterman David

If a man stay away from his wife for seven years, the law presumes the separation to have killed him; yet according to our daily experience, it might well prolong his life.

Letterman David

It doesn't matter whether you win or lose

Letterman David

The 'A' is for content, the 'minus' is for not typing it. Don't ever do this to my eyes again.

Levant Oscar

All this wheeling and dealing around, why, it isn't for money, it's for fun. Money's just the way we keep score.

Levant Oscar

I went into the business for the money, and the art grew out of it. If people are disillusioned by that remark, I can't help it. It's the truth.

Levin Bernard

There's no such thing as a free lunch.

Levine Joseph E.

There are two ways of disliking art. One is to dislike it. The other is to like it rationally.

Levinson Leonard

With her body, woman is more sincere than man; but with her mind she lies. And when she lies, she does not believe herself.

Lew Sinclair

The Almighty in His infinite wisdom did not see fit to create Frenchmen in the image of Englishmen.

Lewin Ralph

I'll burn my books.

Lewis C.S.

per year.

Lewis C.S.

Death is a spirit leaving a body, sort of like a shell leaving the nut behind.

Lewis Joe E.

Fortune Documents the Great Legal Decisions: We think that we may take judicial notice of the fact that the term "bitch" may imply some feeling of endearment when applied to a female of the canine species but that it is seldom, if ever, so used whe

Lewis Joe E.

Alas, I am dying beyond my means.

Lewis Richard

The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers.

Lewis Sinclair

We rarely find anyone who can say he has lived a happy life, and who, content with his life, can retire from the world like a satisfied guest.

Lewis Thomas

It is bad luck to be superstitious.

Li Woman's

Consider the postage stamp: its usefulness consists in the ability to stick to one thing till it gets there.

Li Mark Twain

There's small choice in rotten apples.

Lie Trygve

Everything is possible. Pass the word.

Liebling A.J.

In "King Henry VI, Part II," Shakespeare has Dick Butcher suggest to his fellow anti-establishment rabble-rousers, "The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers." That action may be extreme but a similar sentiment was expressed by Thomas K. Co

Liebling A.J.

The only certainty is that nothing is certain.

Liepmann Hans

Nothing succeeds like success.

Lieutenant Kermit Tyler

I heard a definition of an intellectual, that I thought was very interesting: a man who takes more words than are necessary to tell more than he knows.

Lilly John

There's nothing remarkable about it. All one has to do is hit the right keys at the right time and the instrument plays itself.

Lincoln A.

There are three rules for writing a novel. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are.

Lincoln Abraham

You have all eternity to be cautious in when you're dead.

Lincoln Abraham

He knows not how to know who knows not also how to unknow.

Lincoln Abraham

Working with Julie Andrews is like getting hit over the head with a valentine.

Lincoln Abraham

If I love you, what business is it of yours?

Lincoln Abraham

Maternity pay? Now every Tom, Dick and Harry will get pregnant.

Lincoln Abraham

Happiness isn't something you experience; it's something you remember.

Lincoln Abraham

I value kindness to human beings first of all, and kindness to animals. I don't respect the law; I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger, the food cheaper, and old men

Lincoln Abraham

The naked truth of it is, I have no shirt.

Lindbergh Charles

Sweet April showers do spring May flowers.

Ling James J.

I have just enough white in me to make my honesty questionable.

Lippmann Walter

A Tale of Two Cities LITE(tm)

Lippmann Walter

Ain't no right way to do a wrong thing.

Little Mary Wilson

Fame is a vapor; popularity an accident; the only earthly certainty is oblivion.

Little Rich

The Worst Jury A murder trial at Manitoba in February 1978 was well advanced, when one juror revealed that he was completely deaf and did not have the remotest clue what was happening. The judge, Mr. Justice Solomon, asked him if he had heard any

Lloyd Kaufman

It is only the man whose intellect is clouded by his sexual impulse that could give the name of the fair sex to that undersized, narrow-shouldered, broad-hipped, and short-legged race.

Lo graffito in

Television is a medium because anything well done is rare.

Locke John

A good reputation is more valuable than money.

Lockridge Ross

Education is the process of casting false pearls before real swine.

Long Lazarus

"There is no Father Christmas. It's just a marketing ploy to make low income parents' lives a misery." "... I want you to picture the trusting face of a child, streaked with tears because of what you just said." "I want you to picture the face of

Long Lazarus

When I saw a sign on the freeway that said, "Los Angeles 445 miles," I said to myself, "I've got to get out of this lane."

Long Lazarus

You don't have to think too hard when you talk to teachers.

Long Lazarus

The ultimate game show will be the one where somebody gets killed at the end.

Long Lazarus

It is something to be able to paint a particular picture, or to carve a statue, and so to make a few objects beautiful; but it is far more glorious to carve and paint the very atmosphere and medium through which we look, which morally we can do. T

Long Lazarus

True to our past we work with an inherited, observed, and accepted vision of personal futility, and of the beauty of the world.

Long Lazarus

Exxon's 'Universe of Energy' tends to the peculiar rather than the humorous ... After [an incomprehensible film montage about wind and sun and rain and strip mines and] two or three minutes of mechanical confusion, the seats locomote through a short

Long Lazarus

When in doubt, tell the truth.

Long Lazarus

It is the business of the future to be dangerous.

Long Lazarus

Several years ago, some smart businessmen had an idea: Why not build a big store where a do-it-yourselfer could get everything he needed at reasonable prices? Then they decided, nah, the hell with that, let's build a home center. And before long ho

Long Russell

"You boys lookin' for trouble?" "Sure. Whaddya got?"

Longfellow H.W.

I'm glad I was not born before tea.

Longworth A. R.

"Not Hercules could have knock'd out his brains, for he had none."

Longworth Alice Roosevelt

Thou hast seen nothing yet.

Longworth Alice Roosevelt

Marijuana will be legal some day, because the many law students who now smoke pot will someday become congressmen and legalize it in order to protect themselves.

Longworth Alice Roosevelt

Awash with unfocused desire, Everett twisted the lobe of his one remaining ear and felt the presence of somebody else behind him, which caused terror to push through his nervous system like a flash flood roaring down the mid-fork of the Feather River

Loo Lewis Carroll

English literature's performing flea.

Louder P.G

The early bird who catches the worm works for someone who comes in late and owns the worm farm.

Louder P.G.

TV is chewing gum for the eyes.

Louder P.G. Wodehouse

The proof of the pudding is in the eating.

Louisi Edwin Edwards

A lie is an abomination unto the Lord and a very present help in time of trouble.

Lowell James Russell

It is Mr. Mellon's credo that $200,000,000 can do no wrong. Our offense consists in doubting it.

Lowell Robert

Take care of the luxuries and the necessities will take care of themselves.

Lowell James Russell

A committee takes root and grows, it flowers, wilts and dies, scattering the seed from which other committees will bloom.

Lubbock John

Every cloud engenders not a storm.

Luce C.B.

Progress was all right. Only it went on too long.

Luce Clare Booth

Littering is dumb.

Lucinda Childs

Patch griefs with proverbs.

Lula Pace Ripley

It's pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness; poverty and wealth have both failed.

Lumsden Marshall

You mentioned your name as if I should recognize it, but beyond the obvious facts that you are a bachelor, a solicitor, a freemason, and an asthmatic, I know nothing whatever about you.

Lur Terry Pratchett

There are ten or twenty basic truths, and life is the process of discovering them over and over and over.

Lustbader Eric Van

If we could sell our experiences for what they cost us, we would all be millionaires.

Luten Daniel B.

In Marseilles they make half the toilet soap we consume in America, but the Marseillaise only have a vague theoretical idea of its use, which they have obtained from books of travel.

Luten Daniel B.

I used to be disgusted, now I find I'm just amused.

Luther Martin

A snake lurks in the grass.

Luther Martin

'Scuse me, while I kiss the sky!

Luther Martin

Some people say a front-engine car handles best. Some people say a rear-engine car handles best. I say a rented car handles best.

Lyly John

It is so stupid of modern civilisation to have given up believing in the devil when he is the only explanation of it.


I BET WHAT HAPPENED was they discovered fire and invented the wheel on the same day. Then that night, they burned the wheel.

lose. until you

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This generation doesn't have emotional baggage. We have emotional moving vans.
Feirstein Bruce

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