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Living in New York City gives people real incentives to want things that nobody else wants.

La Rouchefoucauld


He played the king as if afraid someone else would play the ace.

Lady Whiteadder


A drama critic is a person who surprises a playwright by informing him what he meant.

Lafferty R. A.


Why does a hearse horse snicker, hauling a lawyer away?

Lai Chou En


You can bring men from other parts of the world who are sane. And you know what happens? At the very moment they cross those mountains... they go mad. Instantaneously and automatically, at the very moment they cross the mountains into California,

Lampoon The Harvard


Best Mistakes In Films In his "Filmgoer's Companion", Mr. Leslie Halliwell helpfully lists four of the cinema's greatest moments which you should get to see if at all possible. In "Carmen Jones", the camera tracks with Dorothy Dandridge down a st

Landers Ann


I need another lawyer like I need another hole in my head.

Lang Andrew


What!? Me worry?

Langan L.M.


I don't have any use for bodyguards, but I do have a specific use for two highly trained certified public accountants.

Lao Tsu


It is better to live rich than to die rich.

Lara Michael


Dignity is like a flag. It flaps in a storm.

Lara Michael


Let sleeping dogs lie.

Lardner David


A good name lost is seldom regained. When character is gone, all is gone, and one of the richest jewels of life is lost forever.

Lardner Ring


Trifles make perfection, and perfection is no trifle.

Lardner Ring


From a certain point onward there is no longer any turning back. That is the point that must be reached.

Larry Niven


If a man loses his reverence for any part of life, he will lose his reverence for all of life.

Larsen Dalglish


Five bicycles make a volkswagen, seven make a truck.

Larson Erik


Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet?

Lascl Christopher


Even the best of friends cannot attend each other's funeral.

Laukikanyay.


Progress was all right. Only it went on too long.

Lazarus


"Every morning, I get up and look through the 'Forbes' list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work"

Lazarus Long


Modern art is what happens when painters stop looking at girls and persuade themselves that they have a better idea.

LeBoutillier J.


A word to the wise is enough.

LeGuin Ursula K.


Playing an unamplified electric guitar is like strumming on a picnic table.

Lear King


When the blind lead the blind they will both fall over the cliff.

Leary Tim


I'd be a poorer man if I'd never seen an eagle fly.

Lebowitz Fran


"Necessity is the mother of invention" is a silly proverb. "Necessity is the mother of futile dodges" is much nearer the truth.

Lebowitz Fran


Any stone in your boot always migrates against the pressure gradient to exactly the point of most pressure.

Lebowitz Fran


The chief cause of problems is solutions.

Lebowitz Fran


When properly administered, vacations do not diminish productivity: for every week you're away and get nothing done, there's another when your boss is away and you get twice as much done.

Leghorn Foghorn


You can never do just one thing.

Leghorn Foghorn


Non-Determinism is not meant to be reasonable.

Leghorn Foghorn


There's nothing to writing. All you do is sit at a typewriter and open a vein.

Lehman John


Who's scruffy-looking?

Lehrer Tom


They can't stop us... we're on a mission from God!

Lehrer Tom


The plot was designed in a light vein that somehow became varicose.

Lehrer Tom


It doesn't matter whether you win or lose

Lem Stanislaw


The `loner' may be respected, but he is always resented by his colleagues, for he seems to be passing a critical judgment on them, when he may be simply making a limiting statement about himself.

Lem Stanislaw


If I love you, what business is it of yours?

Len Cool


There is no doubt that my lawyer is honest. For example, when he filed his income tax return last year, he declared half of his salary as 'unearned income.'

Lenin Vladimir Il'ich


VI: A hungry dog hunts best. A hungrier dog hunts even better. VII: Decreased business base increases overhead. So does increased business base. VIII: The most unsuccessful four years in the education of a cost-estimator is fifth grade ari

Lenin


The most difficult thing in the world is to know how to do a thing and to watch someone else doing it wrong, without commenting.

Lennon John


A place for everything and everything in its place.

Lennon John


Exxon's 'Universe of Energy' tends to the peculiar rather than the humorous ... After [an incomprehensible film montage about wind and sun and rain and strip mines and] two or three minutes of mechanical confusion, the seats locomote through a short

Leo Rosten


Take your work seriously but never take yourself seriously; and do not take what happens either to yourself or your work seriously.

LeoGrande William


Adhere to your own act, and congratulate yourself if you have done something strange and extravagant, and broken the monotony of a decorous age.

Leonard Ohio Lt. Governor Paul


[He] took me into his library and showed me his books, of which he had a complete set.

Leopardi Giacomo


How can you prove whether at this moment we are sleeping, and all our thoughts are a dream; or whether we are awake, and talking to one another in the waking state?

Lerner Max


XXI: It's easy to get a loan unless you need it. XXII: If stock market experts were so expert, they would be buying stock, not selling advice. XXIII: Any task can be completed in only one-third more time than is currently estimated. XXIV:

Leslie Stephen


The farther you go, the less you know.

Leslie Stephen


With Congress, every time they make a joke it's a law; and every time they make a law it's a joke.

Lester Julius


Time as he grows old teaches all things.

Letterman David


Learning French is trivial: the word for horse is cheval, and everything else follows in the same way.

Letterman David


If I had a formula for bypassing trouble, I would not pass it around. Trouble creates a capacity to handle it. I don't say embrace trouble; that's as bad as treating it as an enemy. But I do say meet it as a friend, for you'll see a lot of it and y

Letterman David


America, how can I write a holy litany in your silly mood?

Letterman David


If a jury in a criminal trial stays out for more than twenty-four hours, it is certain to vote acquittal, save in those instances where it votes guilty.

Letterman David


By protracting life, we do not deduct one jot from the duration of death.

Letterman David


It is through symbols that man consciously or unconsciously lives, works and has his being.

Letterman David


It is imperative when flying coach that you restrain any tendency toward the vividly imaginative. For although it may momentarily appear to be the case, it is not at all likely that the cabin is entirely inhabited by crying babies smoking inexpensiv

Letterman David


Where do I find the time for not reading so many books?

Levant Oscar


You have to run as fast as you can just to stay where you are. If you want to get anywhere, you'll have to run much faster.

Levant Oscar


Monterey... is decidedly the pleasantest and most civilized-looking place in California ... [it] is also a great place for cock-fighting, gambling of all sorts, fandangos, and various kinds of amusements and knavery.

Levin Bernard


According to the Rand McNally Places-Rated Almanac, the best place to live in America is the city of Pittsburgh. The city of New York came in twenty-fifth. Here in New York we really don't care too much. Because we know that we could beat up their

Levine Joseph E.


were found to be wearing neckwear that was tighter than their neck circumference. The visual discrimination of the 22 subjects was evaluated using a critical flicker frequency (CFF) test. Results of the CFF test indicated that tight neckwear signifi

Levinson Leonard


I accept chaos. I am not sure whether it accepts me. I know some people are terrified of the bomb. But then some people are terrified to be seen carrying a modern screen magazine. Experience teaches us that silence terrifies people the most.

Lew Sinclair


What one fool can do, another can.

Lewin Ralph


The Least Successful Equal Pay Advertisement In 1976 the European Economic Community pointed out to the Irish Government that it had not yet implemented the agreed sex equality legislation. The Dublin Government immediately advertised for an equal

Lewis C.S.


Never look a gift horse in the mouth.

Lewis C.S.


A fake fortuneteller can be tolerated. But an authentic soothsayer should be shot on sight. Cassandra did not get half the kicking around she deserved.

Lewis Joe E.


If a man stay away from his wife for seven years, the law presumes the separation to have killed him; yet according to our daily experience, it might well prolong his life.

Lewis Joe E.


He that composes himself is wiser than he that composes a book.

Lewis Richard


I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best.

Lewis Sinclair


Don't guess

Lewis Thomas


Live fast, die young, and leave a flat patch of fur on the highway!

Li Woman's


We were so poor we couldn't afford a watchdog. If we heard a noise at night, we'd bark ourselves.

Li Mark Twain


Once harm has been done, even a fool understands it.

Lie Trygve


We Americans, we're a simple people... but piss us off, and we'll bomb your cities.

Liebling A.J.


Ah, but a man's grasp should exceed his reach, Or what's a heaven for ?

Liebling A.J.


I hate dying.

Liepmann Hans


The superfluous is very necessary.

Lieutenant Kermit Tyler


The Law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich, as well as the poor, to sleep under the bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread.

Lilly John


Consider the postage stamp: its usefulness consists in the ability to stick to one thing till it gets there.

Lincoln A.


It looks like it's up to me to save our skins. Get into that garbage chute, flyboy!

Lincoln Abraham


Have the courage to take your own thoughts seriously, for they will shape you.

Lincoln Abraham


"I only touch base with reality on an as-needed basis!"

Lincoln Abraham


Better late than never.

Lincoln Abraham


Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths good theatre.

Lincoln Abraham


"Given the choice between accomplishing something and just lying around, I'd rather lie around. No contest."

Lincoln Abraham


Bingo, gas station, hamburger with a side order of airplane noise, and you'll be Gary, Indiana.

Lincoln Abraham


The ultimate game show will be the one where somebody gets killed at the end.

Lincoln Abraham


What does education often do? It makes a straight cut ditch of a free meandering brook.

Lindbergh Charles


If a man stay away from his wife for seven years, the law presumes the separation to have killed him; yet according to our daily experience, it might well prolong his life.

Ling James J.


Life is like a 10 speed bicycle. Most of us have gears we never use.

Lippmann Walter


The only certainty is that nothing is certain.

Lippmann Walter


When I saw a sign on the freeway that said, "Los Angeles 445 miles," I said to myself, "I've got to get out of this lane."

Little Mary Wilson


You always introduce the younger person to the older person, using the wording: "Miss Brown, I'd like to introduce you to an older person" (unless her name is not "Miss Brown"). If you do not know a person's age, ask for a driver's license and a ma

Little Rich


Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.

Lloyd Kaufman


Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you.

Lo graffito in


Nothing succeeds like excess.

Locke John


He thought of Musashi, the Sword Saint, standing in his garden more than three hundred years ago. "What is the 'Body of a rock'?" he was asked. In answer, Musashi summoned a pupil of his and bid him kill himself by slashing his abdomen with a knife.

Lockridge Ross


"Well, it's garish, ugly, and derelicts have used it for a toilet. The rides are dilapidated to the point of being lethal, and could easily maim or kill innocent little children." "Oh, so you don't like it?" "Don't like it? I'm CRAZY for it."

Long Lazarus


Whoever has lived long enough to find out what life is, knows how deep a debt of gratitude we owe to Adam, the first great benefactor of our race. He brought death into the world.

Long Lazarus


Maternity pay? Now every Tom, Dick and Harry will get pregnant.

Long Lazarus


Odets, where is thy sting?

Long Lazarus


I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve immortality through not dying.

Long Lazarus


Sometimes a man who deserves to be looked down upon because he is a fool is despised only because he is a lawyer.

Long Lazarus


... but as records of courts and justice are admissible, it can easily be proved that powerful and malevolent magicians once existed and were a scourge to mankind. The evidence (including confession) upon which certain women were convicted of witch

Long Lazarus


A full belly makes a dull brain.

Long Lazarus


The USA is so enormous, and so numerous are its schools, colleges and religious seminaries, many devoted to special religious beliefs ranging from the unorthodox to the dotty, that we can hardly wonder at its yielding a more bounteous harvest of gobb

Long Lazarus


When I was in school, I cheated on my metaphysics exam: I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.

Long Lazarus


An actor's a guy who if you ain't talkin' about him, ain't listening.

Long Russell


British education is probably the best in the world, if you can survive it. If you can't there is nothing left for you but the diplomatic corps.

Longfellow H.W.


I have a simple philosophy: Fill what's empty. Empty what's full. Scratch where it itches.

Longworth A. R.


The first requisite for immortality is death.

Longworth Alice Roosevelt


Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years.

Longworth Alice Roosevelt


If you have to ask what jazz is, you'll never know.

Longworth Alice Roosevelt


It is so stupid of modern civilisation to have given up believing in the devil when he is the only explanation of it.

Loo Lewis Carroll


The truth of a thing is the feel of it, not the think of it.

Louder P.G


Just remember, wherever you go, there you are.

Louder P.G.


The college graduate is presented with a sheepskin to cover his intellectual nakedness.

Louder P.G. Wodehouse


Dear Mister Language Person: What is the purpose of the apostrophe? Answer: The apostrophe is used mainly in hand-lettered small business signs to alert the reader than an "S" is coming up at the end of a word, as in: WE DO NOT EXCEPT PERSONAL CHEC

Louisi Edwin Edwards


"I have to convince you, or at least snow you ..."

Lowell James Russell


The road to Hades is easy to travel.

Lowell Robert


Education is the process of casting false pearls before real swine.

Lowell James Russell


A good plan today is better than a perfect plan tomorrow.

Lubbock John


Even if you do learn to speak correct English, whom are you going to speak it to?

Luce C.B.


Carol's head ached as she trailed behind the unsmiling Calibrees along the block of booths. She chirruped at Kennicott, "Let's be wild! Let's ride on the merry-go-round and grab a gold ring!" Kennicott considered it, and mumbled to Calibree, "Thin

Luce Clare Booth


If you are shooting under 80 you are neglecting your business; over 80 you are neglecting your golf.

Lucinda Childs


Hollywood is where if you don't have happiness you send out for it.

Lula Pace Ripley


A furore Normanorum libera nos, O Domine! [From the fury of the norsemen deliver us, O Lord!]

Lumsden Marshall


The Soviet Union, which has complained recently about alleged anti-Soviet themes in American advertising, lodged an official protest this week against the Ford Motor Company's new campaign: "Hey you stinking, fat Russian, get off my Ford Escort."

Lur Terry Pratchett


Our policy is, when in doubt, do the right thing.

Lustbader Eric Van


Nothing is more admirable than the fortitude with which millionaires tolerate the disadvantages of their wealth.

Luten Daniel B.


Never appeal to a man's "better nature." He may not have one. Invoking his self-interest gives you more leverage.

Luten Daniel B.


A man who cannot seduce men cannot save them either.

Luther Martin


Zero Mostel: That's it baby! When you got it, flaunt it! Flaunt it!

Luther Martin


If happiness is in your destiny, you need not be in a hurry.

Luther Martin


In "King Henry VI, Part II," Shakespeare has Dick Butcher suggest to his fellow anti-establishment rabble-rousers, "The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers." That action may be extreme but a similar sentiment was expressed by Thomas K. Co

Lyly John


When the going gets tough, everyone leaves.

Lynch


Whatever occurs from love is always beyond good and evil.

lose. until you





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Indiana is a state dedicated to basketball. Basketball, soybeans, hogs and basketball. Berkeley, needless to say, is not nearly as athletic. Berkeley is dedicated to coffee, angst, potholes and coffee.
Jones Carolyn

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