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Work is of two kinds: first, altering the position of matter at or near the earth's surface relative to other matter; second, telling other people to do so.

La Rouchefoucauld

Non-Determinism is not meant to be reasonable.

Lady Whiteadder

Wisdom is knowing what to do with what you know.

Lafferty R. A.

No good deed goes unpunished.

Lai Chou En

What excuses stand in your way? How can you eliminate them?

Lampoon The Harvard

The most difficult thing in the world is to know how to do a thing and to watch someone else doing it wrong, without commenting.

Landers Ann

One learns to itch where one can scratch.

Lang Andrew

A continuing flow of paper is sufficient to continue the flow of paper.

Langan L.M.

Superstition, idolatry, and hypocrisy have ample wages, but truth goes a-begging.

Lao Tsu

There is no doubt that my lawyer is honest. For example, when he filed his income tax return last year, he declared half of his salary as 'unearned income.'

Lara Michael

A woman's a woman until the day she dies, but a man's only a man as long as he can.

Lara Michael

I'd be a poorer man if I'd never seen an eagle fly.

Lardner David

It is when I struggle to be brief that I become obscure.

Lardner Ring

Prediction is very difficult, especially of the future.

Lardner Ring

Getting into trouble is easy.

Larry Niven

Mankind is poised midway between the gods and the beasts.

Larsen Dalglish

There is more to life than increasing its speed.

Larson Erik

There is nothing so easy but that it becomes difficult when you do it reluctantly.

Lascl Christopher

Force has no place where there is need of skill.


Illusion is the first of all pleasures.


Depend on the rabbit's foot if you will, but remember, it didn't help the rabbit.

Lazarus Long

A good reputation is more valuable than money.

LeBoutillier J.

Men will fuck mud.

LeGuin Ursula K.

Of all possible committee reactions to any given agenda item, the reaction that will occur is the one which will liberate the greatest amount of hot air.

Lear King

Fortune and love befriend the bold.

Leary Tim

I love treason but hate a traitor.

Lebowitz Fran

If there is no wind, row.

Lebowitz Fran

In spite of everything, I still believe that people are good at heart.

Lebowitz Fran

If a man has a strong faith he can indulge in the luxury of skepticism.

Lebowitz Fran

The final delusion is the belief that one has lost all delusions.

Leghorn Foghorn

The man who runs may fight again.

Leghorn Foghorn

Mental power tended to corrupt, and absolute intelligence tended to corrupt absolutely, until the victim eschewed violence entirely in favor of smart solutions to stupid problems.

Leghorn Foghorn

In case of fire, stand in the hall and shout "Fire!"

Lehman John

Catharsis is something I associate with pornography and crossword puzzles.

Lehrer Tom

There are many of us in this old world of ours who hold that things break about even for all of us. I have observed, for example, that we all get about the same amount of ice. The rich get it in the summer and the poor get it in the winter.

Lehrer Tom

Don't get mad, get even.

Lehrer Tom

The Law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich, as well as the poor, to sleep under the bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread.

Lem Stanislaw

Good-bye. I am leaving because I am bored.

Lem Stanislaw

An idea is an eye given by God for the seeing of God. Some of these eyes we cannot bear to look out of, we blind them as quickly as possible.

Len Cool

If you know the answer to a question, don't ask.

Lenin Vladimir Il'ich

Progress might have been all right once, but it's gone on too long.


Coincidences are spiritual puns.

Lennon John

The best you get is an even break.

Lennon John

Believe everything you hear about the world; nothing is too impossibly bad.

Leo Rosten

A good plan today is better than a perfect plan tomorrow.

LeoGrande William

Imagine what we can imagine!

Leonard Ohio Lt. Governor Paul

There are two kinds of pedestrians... the quick and the dead.

Leopardi Giacomo

Sensible and responsible women do not want to vote.

Lerner Max

Hard reality has a way of cramping your style.

Leslie Stephen

Kindness is the beginning of cruelty.

Leslie Stephen

A man gazing at the stars is proverbially at the mercy of the puddles in the road.

Lester Julius

Honesty's the best policy.

Letterman David

Life is like a 10 speed bicycle. Most of us have gears we never use.

Letterman David

Never keep up with the Joneses. Drag them down to your level.

Letterman David

Suffering alone exists, none who suffer; The deed there is, but no doer thereof; Nirvana is, but no one is seeking it; The Path there is, but none who travel it.

Letterman David

Wishing without work is like fishing without bait.

Letterman David

Things are more like they are today than they ever were before.

Letterman David

In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes.

Letterman David

The proof of the pudding is in the eating.

Letterman David

What we cannot speak about we must pass over in silence.

Levant Oscar

Prosperity makes friends, adversity tries them.

Levant Oscar

If God is One, what is bad?

Levin Bernard

Plus ,ca change, plus c'est la m^eme chose. [The more things change, the more they remain the same.]

Levine Joseph E.

God is Dead.

Levinson Leonard

A man is known by the company he organizes.

Lew Sinclair

To lead people, you must follow behind.

Lewin Ralph

You get what you pay for.

Lewis C.S.

The chief danger in life is that you may take too many precautions.

Lewis C.S.

We are governed not by armies and police but by ideas.

Lewis Joe E.

You have all eternity to be cautious in when you're dead.

Lewis Joe E.

The greatest productive force is human selfishness.

Lewis Richard

For if there is a sin against life, it consists perhaps not so much in despairing of life as in hoping for another life and in eluding the implacable grandeur of this life.

Lewis Sinclair

No man is an Iland, intire of it selfe; every man is a peece of the Continent, a part of the maine; if a Clod bee washed away by the Sea, Europe is the lesse, as well as if a Promontorie were, as well as if a Mannor of thy friends or of thine owne we

Lewis Thomas

What you want, what you're hanging around in the world waiting for, is for something to occur to you.

Li Woman's

With Congress, every time they make a joke it's a law; and every time they make a law it's a joke.

Li Mark Twain

Facts, apart from their relationships, are like labels on empty bottles.

Lie Trygve

My theology, briefly, is that the universe was dictated but not signed.

Liebling A.J.

"Hi, I'm Preston A. Mantis, president of Consumers Retail Law Outlet. As you can see by my suit and the fact that I have all these books of equal height on the shelves behind me, I am a trained legal attorney. Do you have a car or a job? Do you ever

Liebling A.J.

Have you ever stopped to think what it would be like to have a woman President? "I can't deal with the Russians today. Not now. I've got my period."

Liepmann Hans

Time as he grows old teaches all things.

Lieutenant Kermit Tyler

The universe is made of stories, not of atoms.

Lilly John

If you would know the value of money, go try to borrow some.

Lincoln A.

Never invest your money in anything that eats or needs repainting.

Lincoln Abraham

Anything that is worth doing has been done frequently. Things hitherto undone should be given, I suspect, a wide berth.

Lincoln Abraham

Walking on water wasn't built in a day.

Lincoln Abraham

Well begun is half done.

Lincoln Abraham

Live within your income, even if you have to borrow to do so.

Lincoln Abraham

An office party is not, as is sometimes supposed the Managing Director's chance to kiss the tea-girl. It is the tea-girl's chance to kiss the Managing Director (however bizarre an ambition this may seem to anyone who has seen the Managing Director f

Lincoln Abraham

We have reason to be afraid. This is a terrible place.

Lincoln Abraham

I'll turn over a new leaf.

Lincoln Abraham

Beauty is one of the rare things which does not lead to doubt of God.

Lindbergh Charles

Money can't buy happiness, but it can make you awfully comfortable while you're being miserable.

Ling James J.

You k'n hide de fier, but w'at you gwine do wid de smoke?

Lippmann Walter

If the ends don't justify the means, then what does?

Lippmann Walter

It is Mr. Mellon's credo that $200,000,000 can do no wrong. Our offense consists in doubting it.

Little Mary Wilson

Misery no longer loves company. Nowadays it insists on it.

Little Rich

Porsche: there simply is no substitute.

Lloyd Kaufman

Ninety percent of the time things turn out worse than you thought they would. The other ten percent of the time you had no right to expect that much.

Lo graffito in

A little bit of rape is good for a man's soul.

Locke John

Ask not for whom the Bell tolls, and you will pay only the station-to-station rate.

Lockridge Ross

All is well that ends well.

Long Lazarus

The [Ford Foundation] is a large body of money completely surrounded by people who want some.

Long Lazarus

The closest to perfection a person ever comes is when he fills out a job application form.

Long Lazarus

Not to laugh, not to lament, not to curse, but to understand.

Long Lazarus

Dear Mister Language Person: What is the purpose of the apostrophe? Answer: The apostrophe is used mainly in hand-lettered small business signs to alert the reader than an "S" is coming up at the end of a word, as in: WE DO NOT EXCEPT PERSONAL CHEC

Long Lazarus

Lo! Men have become the tool of their tools.

Long Lazarus

A businessman is a hybrid of a dancer and a calculator.

Long Lazarus

A word to the wise is enough.

Long Lazarus

A game can by God repent or we'll punish it. That's how they did it in Salem in the seventeenth century, and that's how we'll do it now.

Long Lazarus

God was satisfied with his own work, and that is fatal.

Long Lazarus

Don't steal; thou'lt never thus compete successfully in business. Cheat.

Long Russell

If a shameless woman expects to be defiled and then dies of her fierce love because you do not consent, will chastity also be homicide?

Longfellow H.W.

If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars.

Longworth A. R.

Everybody likes a kidder, but nobody lends him money.

Longworth Alice Roosevelt

"I gained nothing at all from Supreme Enlightenment, and for that very reason it is called Supreme Enlightenment."

Longworth Alice Roosevelt

It has long been noticed that juries are pitiless for robbery and full of indulgence for infanticide. A question of interest, my dear Sir! The jury is afraid of being robbed and has passed the age when it could be a victim of infanticide.

Longworth Alice Roosevelt

If I were a grave-digger or even a hangman, there are some people I could work for with a great deal of enjoyment.

Loo Lewis Carroll

Mundus vult decipi decipiatur ergo.

Louder P.G

A commune is where people join together to share their lack of wealth.

Louder P.G.

Bullwinkle: You just leave that to my pal. He's the brains of the outfit. General: What does that make YOU? Bullwinkle: What else? An executive.

Louder P.G. Wodehouse

In dwelling, be close to the land. In meditation, delve deep into the heart. In dealing with others, be gentle and kind. In speech, be true. In work, be competent. In action, be careful of your timing.

Louisi Edwin Edwards

Certainly the game is rigged. Don't let that stop you; if you don't bet, you can't win.

Lowell James Russell

The intelligence of any discussion diminishes with the square of the number of participants.

Lowell Robert

Your wig steers the gig.

Lowell James Russell

Receiving a million dollars tax free will make you feel better than being flat broke and having a stomach ache.

Lubbock John

XXI: It's easy to get a loan unless you need it. XXII: If stock market experts were so expert, they would be buying stock, not selling advice. XXIII: Any task can be completed in only one-third more time than is currently estimated. XXIV:

Luce C.B.

Home is where the hurt is.

Luce Clare Booth

Instead of loving your enemies, treat your friends a little better.

Lucinda Childs

I am a man: nothing human is alien to me.

Lula Pace Ripley

I understand why you're confused. You're thinking too much.

Lumsden Marshall

The seven deadly sins ... Food, clothing, firing, rent, taxes, respectability and children. Nothing can lift those seven milestones from man's neck but money; and the spirit cannot soar until the milestones are lifted.

Lur Terry Pratchett

Three minutes' thought would suffice to find this out; but thought is irksome and three minutes is a long time.

Lustbader Eric Van

...He who laughs does not believe in what he laughs at, but neither does he hate it. Therefore, laughing at evil means not preparing oneself to combat it, and laughing at good means denying the power through which good is self-propagating.

Luten Daniel B.

Who does not trust enough will not be trusted.

Luten Daniel B.

A woman employs sincerity only when every other form of deception has failed.

Luther Martin

Woman is generally so bad that the difference between a good and a bad woman scarcely exists.

Luther Martin

Every word is like an unnecessary stain on silence and nothingness.

Luther Martin

It was the next morning that the armies of Twodor marched east laden with long lances, sharp swords, and death-dealing hangovers. The thousands were led by Arrowroot, who sat limply in his sidesaddle, nursing a whopper. Goodgulf, Gimlet, and the r

Lyly John

Si jeunesse savait, si vieillesse pouvait. [If youth but knew, if old age but could.]


None love the bearer of bad news.

lose. until you

Random Quote

Adhere to your own act, and congratulate yourself if you have done something strange and extravagant, and broken the monotony of a decorous age.
Emerson Ralph Waldo

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