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Don't everyone thank me at once!

La Rouchefoucauld


When in doubt, have a man come through the door with a gun in his hand.

Lady Whiteadder


There's nothing remarkable about it. All one has to do is hit the right keys at the right time and the instrument plays itself.

Lafferty R. A.


I appreciate the fact that this draft was done in haste, but some of the sentences that you are sending out in the world to do your work for you are loitering in taverns or asleep beside the highway.

Lai Chou En


Sometimes, too long is too long.

Lampoon The Harvard


Bond reflected that good Americans were fine people and that most of them seemed to come from Texas.

Landers Ann


It is something to be able to paint a particular picture, or to carve a statue, and so to make a few objects beautiful; but it is far more glorious to carve and paint the very atmosphere and medium through which we look, which morally we can do. T

Lang Andrew


Money can't buy love, but it improves your bargaining position.

Langan L.M.


"We demand rigidly defined areas of doubt and uncertainty!"

Lao Tsu


Doctors and lawyers must go to school for years and years, often with little sleep and with great sacrifice to their first wives.

Lara Michael


If you live in New York, even if you're Catholic, you're Jewish.

Lara Michael


Fain would I climb, yet fear I to fall.

Lardner David


A copy of the universe is not what is required of art; one of the damned things is ample.

Lardner Ring


Lookie, lookie, here comes cookie...

Lardner Ring


Briefly stated, the findings are that when presented with an array of data or a sequence of events in which they are instructed to discover an underlying order, subjects show strong tendencies to perceive order and causality in random arrays, to perc

Larry Niven


A violent man will die a violent death.

Larsen Dalglish


You will remember, Watson, how the dreadful business of the Abernetty family was first brought to my notice by the depth which the parsley had sunk into the butter upon a hot day.

Larson Erik


If God is One, what is bad?

Lascl Christopher


To err is human, to repent, divine, to persist, devilish.

Laukikanyay.


What kind of sordid business are you on now? I mean, man, whither goest thou? Whither goest thou, America, in thy shiny car in the night?

Lazarus


Ignorance is never out of style. It was in fashion yesterday, it is the rage today, and it will set the pace tomorrow.

Lazarus Long


The Least Successful Equal Pay Advertisement In 1976 the European Economic Community pointed out to the Irish Government that it had not yet implemented the agreed sex equality legislation. The Dublin Government immediately advertised for an equal

LeBoutillier J.


Happiness isn't something you experience; it's something you remember.

LeGuin Ursula K.


The meek shall inherit the earth, but *not* its mineral rights.

Lear King


Non-Determinism is not meant to be reasonable.

Leary Tim


You have to run as fast as you can just to stay where you are. If you want to get anywhere, you'll have to run much faster.

Lebowitz Fran


Why am I so soft in the middle when the rest of my life is so hard?

Lebowitz Fran


We're only in it for the volume.

Lebowitz Fran


I love treason but hate a traitor.

Lebowitz Fran


A society in which women are taught anything but the management of a family, the care of men, and the creation of the future generation is a society which is on its way out.

Leghorn Foghorn


The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence.

Leghorn Foghorn


Nothing is so firmly believed as that which we least know.

Leghorn Foghorn


It's always darkest just before the lights go out.

Lehman John


Business will be either better or worse.

Lehrer Tom


A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step.

Lehrer Tom


If it were thought that anything I wrote was influenced by Robert Frost, I would take that particular work of mine, shred it, and flush it down the toilet, hoping not to clog the pipes. A more sententious, holding- forth old bore who expected every

Lehrer Tom


In case of fire, stand in the hall and shout "Fire!"

Lem Stanislaw


The Almighty in His infinite wisdom did not see fit to create Frenchmen in the image of Englishmen.

Lem Stanislaw


As Gen. de Gaulle occassionally acknowledges America to be the daughter of Europe, so I am pleased to come to Yale, the daughter of Harvard.

Len Cool


The executioner is, I hear, very expert, and my neck is very slender.

Lenin Vladimir Il'ich


I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph.

Lenin


For myself, I can only say that I am astonished and somewhat terrified at the results of this evening's experiments. Astonished at the wonderful power you have developed, and terrified at the thought that so much hideous and bad music may be put on

Lennon John


The big cities of America are becoming Third World countries.

Lennon John


Judges, as a class, display, in the matter of arranging alimony, that reckless generosity which is found only in men who are giving away someone else's cash.

Leo Rosten


The whole earth is in jail and we're plotting this incredible jailbreak.

LeoGrande William


Brahma said: Well, after hearing ten thousand explanations, a fool is no wiser. But an intelligent man needs only two thousand five hundred.

Leonard Ohio Lt. Governor Paul


Crito, I owe a cock to Asclepius; will you remember to pay the debt?

Leopardi Giacomo


Let your conscience be your guide.

Lerner Max


Another day, another dollar.

Leslie Stephen


What I tell you three times is true.

Leslie Stephen


But the greatest Electrical Pioneer of them all was Thomas Edison, who was a brilliant inventor despite the fact that he had little formal education and lived in New Jersey. Edison's first major invention in 1877, was the phonograph, which could soo

Lester Julius


What does not destroy me, makes me stronger.

Letterman David


What makes you think graduate school is supposed to be satisfying?

Letterman David


[Maturity consists in the discovery that] there comes a critical moment where everything is reversed, after which the point becomes to understand more and more that there is something which cannot be understood.

Letterman David


The real purpose of books is to trap the mind into doing its own thinking.

Letterman David


Everything is possible. Pass the word.

Letterman David


There is much Obi-Wan did not tell you.

Letterman David


Wagner's music is better than it sounds.

Letterman David


Too much is just enough.

Letterman David


I don't have any use for bodyguards, but I do have a specific use for two highly trained certified public accountants.

Levant Oscar


Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the person involved.

Levant Oscar


The first myth of management is that it exists. The second myth of management is that success equals skill.

Levin Bernard


If I had done everything I'm credited with, I'd be speaking to you from a laboratory jar at Harvard.

Levine Joseph E.


Patience is the best remedy for every trouble.

Levinson Leonard


Trifles make perfection, and perfection is no trifle.

Lew Sinclair


A writer is congenitally unable to tell the truth and that is why we call what he writes fiction.

Lewin Ralph


"Hi, I'm Preston A. Mantis, president of Consumers Retail Law Outlet. As you can see by my suit and the fact that I have all these books of equal height on the shelves behind me, I am a trained legal attorney. Do you have a car or a job? Do you ever

Lewis C.S.


Lo! Men have become the tool of their tools.

Lewis C.S.


All men know the utility of useful things; but they do not know the utility of futility.

Lewis Joe E.


Examinations are formidable even to the best prepared, for even the greatest fool may ask more the the wisest man can answer.

Lewis Joe E.


Love the sea? I dote upon it

Lewis Richard


A priest asked: What is Fate, Master? And the Master answered: It is that which gives a beast of burden its reason for existence. It is that which men in former times had to bear upon their backs. It is that which has caused nations to build bywa

Lewis Sinclair


I have a simple philosophy: Fill what's empty. Empty what's full. Scratch where it itches.

Lewis Thomas


What one fool can do, another can.

Li Woman's


Only those who leisurely approach that which the masses are busy about can be busy about that which the masses take leisurely.

Li Mark Twain


The tree in which the sap is stagnant remains fruitless.

Lie Trygve


The mind is its own place, and in itself Can make a Heav'n of Hell, a Hell of Heav'n.

Liebling A.J.


It's not easy, being green.

Liebling A.J.


God gave man two ears and one tongue so that we listen twice as much as we speak.

Liepmann Hans


Life is one long struggle in the dark.

Lieutenant Kermit Tyler


Sho' they got to have it against the law. Shoot, ever'body git high, they wouldn't be nobody git up and feed the chickens. Hee-hee.

Lilly John


Luck, that's when preparation and opportunity meet.

Lincoln A.


Being a woman is a terribly difficult trade, since it consists principally of dealings with men.

Lincoln Abraham


If it doesn't smell yet, it's pretty fresh.

Lincoln Abraham


XI: If the Earth could be made to rotate twice as fast, managers would get twice as much done. If the Earth could be made to rotate twenty times as fast, everyone else would get twice as much done since all the managers would fly off. XII: I

Lincoln Abraham


Home is where the hurt is.

Lincoln Abraham


Dignity is like a flag. It flaps in a storm.

Lincoln Abraham


Women are nothing but machines for producing children.

Lincoln Abraham


It is easier to resist at the beginning than at the end.

Lincoln Abraham


When you die, you lose a very important part of your life.

Lincoln Abraham


Education is what survives when what has been learnt has been forgotten.

Lindbergh Charles


An idea is an eye given by God for the seeing of God. Some of these eyes we cannot bear to look out of, we blind them as quickly as possible.

Ling James J.


Reality is bad enough, why should I tell the truth?

Lippmann Walter


I didn't do it! Nobody saw me do it! Can't prove anything!

Lippmann Walter


I respect faith, but doubt is what gives you an education.

Little Mary Wilson


If a thing's worth doing, it is worth doing badly.

Little Rich


Plots are like girdles. Hidden, they hold your interest; revealed, they're of no interest except to fetishists. Like girdles, they attempt to contain an uncontainable experience.

Lloyd Kaufman


Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names the streets after them.

Lo graffito in


You can no more win a war than you can win an earthquake.

Locke John


I didn't believe in reincarnation in any of my other lives. I don't see why I should have to believe in it in this one.

Lockridge Ross


He was a fiddler, and consequently a rogue.

Long Lazarus


New Jersey is not the armpit of the nation; it's the asshole of the universe.

Long Lazarus


The first rule of intelligent tinkering is to save all the parts.

Long Lazarus


Lassie looked brilliant, in part because the farm family she lived with was made up of idiots. Remember? One of them was always getting pinned under the tractor, and Lassie was always rushing back to the farmhouse to alert the other ones. She'd w

Long Lazarus


Rome was not built in one day.

Long Lazarus


Lots of folks confuse bad management with destiny.

Long Lazarus


The lawgiver, of all beings, most owes the law allegiance. He of all men should behave as though the law compelled him. But it is the universal weakness of mankind that what we are given to administer we presently imagine we own.

Long Lazarus


"Necessity is the mother of invention" is a silly proverb. "Necessity is the mother of futile dodges" is much nearer the truth.

Long Lazarus


Nothing succeeds like excess.

Long Lazarus


There must be more to life than having everything.

Long Lazarus


In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes.

Long Russell


Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do. Play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do.

Longfellow H.W.


The man-hating woman, like the cold woman, is largely imaginary. She is simply a woman who has done her best to snare a man and has failed.

Longworth A. R.


There is a good deal of solemn cant about the common interests of capital and labour. As matters stand, their only common interest is that of cutting each other's throat.

Longworth Alice Roosevelt


Certain passages in several laws have always defied interpretation and the most inexplicable must be a matter of opinion. A judge of the Court of Session of Scotland has sent the editors of this book his candidate which reads, "In the Nuts (unground

Longworth Alice Roosevelt


Nothing will dispel enthusiasm like a small admission fee.

Longworth Alice Roosevelt


In dwelling, be close to the land. In meditation, delve deep into the heart. In dealing with others, be gentle and kind. In speech, be true. In work, be competent. In action, be careful of your timing.

Loo Lewis Carroll


Bullwinkle: You just leave that to my pal. He's the brains of the outfit. General: What does that make YOU? Bullwinkle: What else? An executive.

Louder P.G


Darth Vader! Only you would be so bold!

Louder P.G.


Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths good theatre.

Louder P.G. Wodehouse


It's pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness; poverty and wealth have both failed.

Louisi Edwin Edwards


There are two ways of disliking poetry; one way is to dislike it, the other is to read Pope.

Lowell James Russell


Three o'clock in the afternoon is always just a little too late or a little too early for anything you want to do.

Lowell Robert


Credit ... is the only enduring testimonial to man's confidence in man.

Lowell James Russell


Whatever doesn't succeed in two months and a half in California will never succeed.

Lubbock John


Laws are like sausages. It's better not to see them being made.

Luce C.B.


She was good at playing abstract confusion in the same way a midget is good at being short.

Luce Clare Booth


In Hollywood, if you don't have happiness, you send out for it.

Lucinda Childs


"God gives burdens; also shoulders" Jimmy Carter cited this Jewish saying in his concession speech at the end of the 1980 election. At least he said it was a Jewish saying; I can't find it anywhere. I'm sure he's telling the truth though; why wo

Lula Pace Ripley


Practice is the best of all instructors.

Lumsden Marshall


"Benson, you are so free of the ravages of intelligence"

Lur Terry Pratchett


Writing is easy; all you do is sit staring at the blank sheet of paper until drops of blood form on your forehead.

Lustbader Eric Van


Good government never depends upon laws, but upon the personal qualities of those who govern. The machinery of government is always subordinate to the will of those who administer that machinery. The most important element of government, therefore,

Luten Daniel B.


A wise person makes his own decisions, a weak one obeys public opinion.

Luten Daniel B.


San Francisco isn't what it used to be, and it never was.

Luther Martin


With women, I've got a long bamboo pole with a leather loop on the end of it. I slip the loop around their necks so they can't get away or come too close. Like catching snakes.

Luther Martin


France is a country where the money falls apart and you can't tear the toilet paper.

Luther Martin


The price one pays for pursuing any profession, or calling, is an intimate knowledge of its ugly side.

Lyly John


Don't get mad, get even.

Lynch


Honesty's the best policy.

lose. until you





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Fame lost its appeal for me when I went into a public restroom and an autograph seeker handed me a pen and paper under the stall door.
Thomas Marlo

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