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Too many people are thinking of security instead of opportunity. They seem more afraid of life than death.

La Rouchefoucauld


Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.

Lady Whiteadder


Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing at the moment.

Lafferty R. A.


It is ridiculous to call this an industry. This is not. This is rat eat rat, dog eat dog. I'll kill 'em, and I'm going to kill 'em before they kill me. You're talking about the American way of survival of the fittest.

Lai Chou En


There's no such thing as a free lunch.

Lampoon The Harvard


"Hey, Sam, how about a loan?" "Whattaya need?" "Oh, about $500." "Whattaya got for collateral?" "Whattaya need?" "How about an eye?"

Landers Ann


He thought of Musashi, the Sword Saint, standing in his garden more than three hundred years ago. "What is the 'Body of a rock'?" he was asked. In answer, Musashi summoned a pupil of his and bid him kill himself by slashing his abdomen with a knife.

Lang Andrew


I will make you shorter by the head.

Langan L.M.


Let's say your wedding ring falls into your toaster, and when you stick your hand in to retrieve it, you suffer Pain and Suffering as well as Mental Anguish. You would sue: * The toaster manufacturer, for failure to include, in the instructions

Lao Tsu


The root of all superstition is that men observe when a thing hits, but not when it misses.

Lara Michael


If at first you don't succeed, you're doing about average.

Lara Michael


Instead of loving your enemies, treat your friends a little better.

Lardner David


We have reason to be afraid. This is a terrible place.

Lardner Ring


Not to laugh, not to lament, not to curse, but to understand.

Lardner Ring


Anyone can hold the helm when the sea is calm.

Larry Niven


... but as records of courts and justice are admissible, it can easily be proved that powerful and malevolent magicians once existed and were a scourge to mankind. The evidence (including confession) upon which certain women were convicted of witch

Larsen Dalglish


Execute every act of thy life as though it were thy last.

Larson Erik


One of your most ancient writers, a historian named Herodotus, tells of a thief who was to be executed. As he was taken away he made a bargain with the king: in one year he would teach the king's favorite horse to sing hymns. The other prisoners wa

Lascl Christopher


If a fool persists in his folly he shall become wise.

Laukikanyay.


The more I want to get something done, the less I call it work.

Lazarus


Divorce is a game played by lawyers.

Lazarus Long


God instructs the heart, not by ideas, but by pains and contradictions.

LeBoutillier J.


A businessman is a hybrid of a dancer and a calculator.

LeGuin Ursula K.


If a guru falls in the forest with no one to hear him, was he really a guru at all?

Lear King


All phone calls are obscene.

Leary Tim


Then a man said: Speak to us of Expectations. He then said: If a man does not see or hear the waters of the Jordan, then he should not taste the pomegranate or ply his wares in an open market. If a man would not labour in the salt and rock quarri

Lebowitz Fran


"Hi, I'm Preston A. Mantis, president of Consumers Retail Law Outlet. As you can see by my suit and the fact that I have all these books of equal height on the shelves behind me, I am a trained legal attorney. Do you have a car or a job? Do you ever

Lebowitz Fran


"You mean, if you allow the master to be uncivil, to treat you any old way he likes, and to insult your dignity, then he may deem you fit to hear his view of things?" "Quite the contrary. You must defend your integrity, assuming you have integrit

Lebowitz Fran


Men freely believe that what they wish to desire.

Lebowitz Fran


Who dat who say "who dat" when I say "who dat"?

Leghorn Foghorn


The sooner you make your first 5000 mistakes, the sooner you will be able to correct them.

Leghorn Foghorn


Laws are like sausages. It's better not to see them being made.

Leghorn Foghorn


The early bird who catches the worm works for someone who comes in late and owns the worm farm.

Lehman John


There's no justice in this world.

Lehrer Tom


Another day, another dollar.

Lehrer Tom


I'd be a poorer man if I'd never seen an eagle fly.

Lehrer Tom


The meek shall inherit the earth, but *not* its mineral rights.

Lem Stanislaw


The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence.

Lem Stanislaw


Flame on!

Len Cool


Some men are heterosexual, and some are bisexual, and some men don't think about sex at all... they become lawyers.

Lenin Vladimir Il'ich


It is the quality rather than the quantity that matters.

Lenin


The eye is a menace to clear sight, the ear is a menace to subtle hearing, the mind is a menace to wisdom, every organ of the senses is a menace to its own capacity. ... Fuss, the god of the Southern Ocean, and Fret, the god of the Northern Ocean, h

Lennon John


Fortune Documents the Great Legal Decisions: We think that we may take judicial notice of the fact that the term "bitch" may imply some feeling of endearment when applied to a female of the canine species but that it is seldom, if ever, so used whe

Lennon John


From a certain point onward there is no longer any turning back. That is the point that must be reached.

Leo Rosten


It is when I struggle to be brief that I become obscure.

LeoGrande William


Love the sea? I dote upon it

Leonard Ohio Lt. Governor Paul


Certainly the game is rigged. Don't let that stop you; if you don't bet, you can't win.

Leopardi Giacomo


The price one pays for pursuing any profession, or calling, is an intimate knowledge of its ugly side.

Lerner Max


We rarely find anyone who can say he has lived a happy life, and who, content with his life, can retire from the world like a satisfied guest.

Leslie Stephen


Now, you might ask, "How do I get one of those complete home tool sets for under $4?" An excellent question. Go to one of those really cheap discount stores where they sell plastic furniture in colors visible from the planet Neptune and where they

Leslie Stephen


I am a man: nothing human is alien to me.

Lester Julius


A dream will always triumph over reality, once it is given the chance.

Letterman David


A rolling stone gathers no moss.

Letterman David


How can you prove whether at this moment we are sleeping, and all our thoughts are a dream; or whether we are awake, and talking to one another in the waking state?

Letterman David


Once there lived a village of creatures along the bottom of a great crystal river. Each creature in its own manner clung tightly to the twigs and rocks of the river bottom, for clinging was their way of life, and resisting the current what each had

Letterman David


In the long run we are all dead.

Letterman David


If you hype something and it succeeds, you're a genius

Letterman David


The major sin is the sin of being born.

Letterman David


Aim for the moon. If you miss, you may hit a star.

Letterman David


The final delusion is the belief that one has lost all delusions.

Levant Oscar


For certain people, after fifty, litigation takes the place of sex.

Levant Oscar


He who fears the unknown may one day flee from his own backside.

Levin Bernard


None love the bearer of bad news.

Levine Joseph E.


Three minutes' thought would suffice to find this out; but thought is irksome and three minutes is a long time.

Levinson Leonard


Events are not affected, they develop.

Lew Sinclair


A prediction is worth twenty explanations.

Lewin Ralph


The lawgiver, of all beings, most owes the law allegiance. He of all men should behave as though the law compelled him. But it is the universal weakness of mankind that what we are given to administer we presently imagine we own.

Lewis C.S.


There seems no plan because it is all plan.

Lewis C.S.


Judges, as a class, display, in the matter of arranging alimony, that reckless generosity which is found only in men who are giving away someone else's cash.

Lewis Joe E.


What sane person could live in this world and not be crazy?

Lewis Joe E.


Beggars should be no choosers.

Lewis Richard


Divorce is a game played by lawyers.

Lewis Sinclair


One learns to itch where one can scratch.

Lewis Thomas


I: The best way to make a silk purse from a sow's ear is to begin with a silk sow. The same is true of money. II: If today were half as good as tomorrow is supposed to be, it would probably be twice as good as yesterday was. III: There are

Li Woman's


The idea there was that consumers would bring their broken electronic devices, such as television sets and VCR's, to the destruction centers, where trained personnel would whack them (the devices) with sledgehammers. With their devices thus permanent

Li Mark Twain


Nothing will ever be attempted if all possible objections must be first overcome.

Lie Trygve


I hate quotations.

Liebling A.J.


If you only have a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail.

Liebling A.J.


The two most beautiful words in the English language are "Cheque Enclosed."

Liepmann Hans


Like, if I'm not for me, then fer shure, like who will be? And if, y'know, if I'm not like fer anyone else, then hey, I mean, what am I? And if not now, like I dunno, maybe like when? And if not Who, then I dunno, maybe like the Rolling Stones?

Lieutenant Kermit Tyler


May you live in uninteresting times.

Lilly John


General notions are generally wrong.

Lincoln A.


CF&C stole it, fair and square.

Lincoln Abraham


Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead.

Lincoln Abraham


A little inaccuracy sometimes saves tons of explanation.

Lincoln Abraham


A sinking ship gathers no moss.

Lincoln Abraham


Save a little money each month and at the end of the year you'll be surprised at how little you have.

Lincoln Abraham


Turn the other cheek.

Lincoln Abraham


Trust in Allah, but tie your camel.

Lincoln Abraham


If a man loses his reverence for any part of life, he will lose his reverence for all of life.

Lincoln Abraham


We have lingered long enough on the shores of the Cosmic Ocean.

Lindbergh Charles


Being a woman is a terribly difficult trade, since it consists principally of dealings with men.

Ling James J.


I understand why you're confused. You're thinking too much.

Lippmann Walter


Your wig steers the gig.

Lippmann Walter


I owe the public nothing.

Little Mary Wilson


It is Mr. Mellon's credo that $200,000,000 can do no wrong. Our offense consists in doubting it.

Little Rich


One good turn deserves another.

Lloyd Kaufman


There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?

Lo graffito in


We are what we pretend to be.

Locke John


Man is the measure of all things.

Lockridge Ross


For every bloke who makes his mark, there's half a dozen waiting to rub it out.

Long Lazarus


If you catch a man, throw him back.

Long Lazarus


From the cradle to the coffin underwear comes first.

Long Lazarus


It is annoying to be honest to no purpose.

Long Lazarus


Ignorance is the Mother of Devotion.

Long Lazarus


Suffering alone exists, none who suffer; The deed there is, but no doer thereof; Nirvana is, but no one is seeking it; The Path there is, but none who travel it.

Long Lazarus


Beware of all enterprises that require new clothes, and not rather a new wearer of clothes.

Long Lazarus


If you want divine justice, die.

Long Lazarus


A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats.

Long Lazarus


In the highest society, as well as in the lowest, woman is merely an instrument of pleasure.

Long Lazarus


A full belly makes a dull brain.

Long Russell


Maternity pay? Now every Tom, Dick and Harry will get pregnant.

Longfellow H.W.


"Consequences, Schmonsequences, as long as I'm rich."

Longworth A. R.


Sweet April showers do spring May flowers.

Longworth Alice Roosevelt


Lo! Men have become the tool of their tools.

Longworth Alice Roosevelt


Mirrors should reflect a little before throwing back images.

Longworth Alice Roosevelt


The best you get is an even break.

Loo Lewis Carroll


Nothing endures but change.

Louder P.G


Misery no longer loves company. Nowadays it insists on it.

Louder P.G.


It's hard to drive at the limit, but it's harder to know where the limits are.

Louder P.G. Wodehouse


Dear Mister Language Person: What is the purpose of the apostrophe? Answer: The apostrophe is used mainly in hand-lettered small business signs to alert the reader than an "S" is coming up at the end of a word, as in: WE DO NOT EXCEPT PERSONAL CHEC

Louisi Edwin Edwards


Catharsis is something I associate with pornography and crossword puzzles.

Lowell James Russell


Where there is much light there is also much shadow.

Lowell Robert


Non-Determinism is not meant to be reasonable.

Lowell James Russell


American business long ago gave up on demanding that prospective employees be honest and hardworking. It has even stopped hoping for employees who are educated enough that they can tell the difference between the men's room and the women's room with

Lubbock John


Before he became a hermit, Zarathud was a young Priest, and took great delight in making fools of his opponents in front of his followers. One day Zarathud took his students to a pleasant pasture and there he confronted The Sacred Chao while She

Luce C.B.


"I'm dying," he croaked. "My experiment was a success," the chemist retorted . "You can't really train a beagle," he dogmatized. "That's no beagle, it's a mongrel," she muttered. "The fire is going out," he bellowed. "Bad marksmanship," the h

Luce Clare Booth


If men are not afraid to die, it is of no avail to threaten them with death. If men live in constant fear of dying, And if breaking the law means a man will be killed, Who will dare to break the law? There is always an official executioner. If

Lucinda Childs


The chief danger in life is that you may take too many precautions.

Lula Pace Ripley


The cart has no place where a fifth wheel could be used.

Lumsden Marshall


What you want, what you're hanging around in the world waiting for, is for something to occur to you.

Lur Terry Pratchett


You can observe a lot just by watching.

Lustbader Eric Van


Anything is possible on paper.

Luten Daniel B.


Forgive and forget.

Luten Daniel B.


It is imperative when flying coach that you restrain any tendency toward the vividly imaginative. For although it may momentarily appear to be the case, it is not at all likely that the cabin is entirely inhabited by crying babies smoking inexpensiv

Luther Martin


Great acts are made up of small deeds.

Luther Martin


"There was an interesting development in the CBS-Westmoreland trial: both sides agreed that after the trial, Andy Rooney would be allowed to talk to the jury for three minutes about little things that annoyed him during the trial."

Luther Martin


Then, gently touching my face, she hesitated for a moment as her incredible eyes poured forth into mine love, joy, pain, tragedy, acceptance, and peace. "'Bye for now," she said warmly.

Lyly John


Let's say your wedding ring falls into your toaster, and when you stick your hand in to retrieve it, you suffer Pain and Suffering as well as Mental Anguish. You would sue: * The toaster manufacturer, for failure to include, in the instructions

Lynch


Before you ask more questions, think about whether you really want to know the answers.

lose. until you





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It took me fifteen years to discover that I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by that time I was too famous.
Benchley Robert

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