Certain passages in several laws have always defied interpretation and the most inexplicable must be a matter of opinion. A judge of the Court of Session of Scotland has sent the editors of this book his candidate which reads, "In the Nuts (unground

What does education often do? It makes a straight cut ditch of a free meandering brook.

There are two kinds of fool. One says, "This is old, and therefore good." And one says, "This is new, and therefore better"

I need another lawyer like I need another hole in my head.

You men out there probably think you already know how to dress for success. You know, for example, that you should not wear leisure suits or white plastic belts and shoes, unless you are going to a costume party disguised as a pig farmer vacationing

If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything.

If someone had told me I would be Pope one day, I would have studied harder.

The man with the best job in the country is the Vice President. All he has to do is get up every morning and say, "How's the President?"

Age before beauty; and pearls before swine.

There are ten or twenty basic truths, and life is the process of discovering them over and over and over.

Rembrandt is not to be compared in the painting of character with our extraordinarily gifted English artist, Mr. Rippingille.

I don't think they are going to give a shit about the Republican Committee trying to bug the Democratic Committee's headquarters.

The only happiness lies in reason; all the rest of the world is dismal. The highest reason, however, I see in the work of the artist, and he may experience it as such. Happiness lies in the swiftness of feeling and thinking: all the rest of the worl

Every young man should have a hobby: learning how to handle money is the best one.

Habit is habit, and not to be flung out of the window by any man, but coaxed down-stairs a step at a time.

The reasons that each of these countries has had to renege on its financial committments were all somewhat different: Argentina because of a war, Poland because of its vast misguided overinvestment in heavy industry, Honduras because the coffee price

Long ago I proposed that unsuccessful candidates for the Presidency be quietly hanged, as a matter of public sanitation and decorum. The sight of their grief must have a very evil effect upon the young.

There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy.

The cry has been that when war is declared, all opposition should therefore be hushed. A sentiment more unworthy of a free country could hardly be propagated. If the doctrine be admitted, rulers have only to declare war and they are screened at onc

[District Attorneys] learn in District Attorney School that there are two sure-fire ways to get a lot of favorable publicity: (1) Go down and raid all the lockers in the local high school and confiscate 53 marijuana cigarettes and put them in a

Nothing, nothing, nothing, no error, no crime is so absolutely repugnant to God as everything which is official; and why? because the official is so impersonal and therefore the deepest insult which can be offered to a personality.

He didn't run for reelection. "Politics brings you into contact with all the people you'd give anything to avoid," he said. "I'm staying home."

It is often the case that the man who can't tell a lie thinks he is the best judge of one.

"I'll carry your books, I'll carry a tune, I'll carry on, carry over, carry forward, Cary Grant, cash & carry, Carry Me Back To Old Virginia, I'll even Hara Kari if you show me how, but I will *not* carry a gun."

The public is an old woman. Let her maunder and mumble.

Don't talk to me about naval tradition. It's nothing but rum, sodomy and the lash.

"I understand this is your first dead client," Sabian was saying. The absurdity of the statement made me want to laugh but they don't call me Deadpan Allie and lie.

Then, gently touching my face, she hesitated for a moment as her incredible eyes poured forth into mine love, joy, pain, tragedy, acceptance, and peace. "'Bye for now," she said warmly.

If I had done everything I'm credited with, I'd be speaking to you from a laboratory jar at Harvard.

A "No" uttered from deepest conviction is better and greater than a "Yes" merely uttered to please, or what is worse, to avoid trouble.

If God wanted us to have a President, He would have sent us a candidate.

"Remember, if it's being done correctly, here or abroad, it's ___not the U.S. Army doing it!"

The human brain is a wonderful thing. It starts working the moment you are born, and never stops until you stand up to speak in public.

Take what you can use and let the rest go by.

For a light heart lives long.

The Worst Prison Guards The largest number of convicts ever to escape simultaneously from a maximum security prison is 124. This record is held by Alcoente Prison, near Lisbon in Portugal. During the weeks leading up to the escape in July 1978 th

However, on religious issues there can be little or no compromise. There is no position on which people are so immovable as their religious beliefs. There is no more powerful ally one can claim in a debate than Jesus Christ, or God, or Allah, or wha

We should have a Vollyballocracy. We elect a six-pack of presidents. Each one serves until they screw up, at which point they rotate.

If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.

Executive ability is deciding quickly and getting somebody else to do the work.

If two men agree on everything, you may be sure that one of them is doing the thinking.

A good scapegoat is hard to find. A guilty conscience is the mother of invention.

It's not enough to be Hungarian; you must have talent too.

When asked by an anthropologist what the Indians called America before the white men came, an Indian said simply "Ours."

Just because everything is different doesn't mean anything has changed.

Let's say your wedding ring falls into your toaster, and when you stick your hand in to retrieve it, you suffer Pain and Suffering as well as Mental Anguish. You would sue: * The toaster manufacturer, for failure to include, in the instructions

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?

Diplomacy is the art of letting the other party have things your way.

A beginning is the time for taking the most delicate care that balances are correct.

One of the lessons of history is that nothing is often a good thing to do and always a clever thing to say.

Nothing recedes like success.

I had never been too political, but I knew how white people treated black people and it was hard for me to come back to the bullshit white people put a black person through in this country. To realize you don't have any power to make things differen

Good government never depends upon laws, but upon the personal qualities of those who govern. The machinery of government is always subordinate to the will of those who administer that machinery. The most important element of government, therefore,

"I am not sure what this is, but an `F' would only dignify it."

A little inaccuracy saves a world of explanation.

Mike: "The Fourth Dimension is a shambles?" Bernie: "Nobody ever empties the ashtrays. People are SO inconsiderate."

Housework can kill you if done right.

The road to ruin is always in good repair, and the travellers pay the expense of it.

Would ye both eat your cake and have your cake?

By perseverance the snail reached the Ark.

You shouldn't wallow in self-pity. But it's OK to put your feet in it and swish them around a little.

You get what you pay for.

Talkers are no good doers.

[District Attorneys] learn in District Attorney School that there are two sure-fire ways to get a lot of favorable publicity: (1) Go down and raid all the lockers in the local high school and confiscate 53 marijuana cigarettes and put them in a

There are three infallible ways of pleasing an author, and the three form a rising scale of compliment: 1, to tell him you have read one of his books; 2, to tell him you have read all of his books; 3, to ask him to let you read the manuscript of his

I went to my mother and told her I intended to commence a different life. I asked for and obtained her blessing and at once commenced the career of a robber.

After the ground war began, captured Iraqi soldiers said any of them caught by superiors wearing a white T-shirt would be executed because of the ease with which the shirts could be used as surrender flags. Some Iraqi soldiers carried bleach with th

Trust in Allah, but tie your camel.

An honest tale speeds best being plainly told.

What you don't know won't help you much either.

Let's say your wedding ring falls into your toaster, and when you stick your hand in to retrieve it, you suffer Pain and Suffering as well as Mental Anguish. You would sue: * The toaster manufacturer, for failure to include, in the instructions

The most delightful day after the one on which you buy a cottage in the country is the one on which you resell it.

I am America's child, a spastic slogging on demented limbs drooling I'll trade my PhD for a telephone voice.

The course of true anything never does run smooth.

I found Rome a city of bricks and left it a city of marble.

You can't play your friends like marks, kid.

You know you are getting old when you think you should drive the speed limit.

We have nowhere else to go... this is all we have.

You must be the change you wish to see in the world.

Giving money and power to governments is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.

If a thing's worth having, it's worth cheating for.

So little time, so little to do.

A writer is congenitally unable to tell the truth and that is why we call what he writes fiction.

It is said an Eastern monarch once charged his wise men to invent him a sentence to be ever in view, and which should be true and appropriate in all times and situations. They presented him the words: "And this, too, shall pass away."

Moneyliness is next to Godliness.

An atom-blaster is a good weapon, but it can point both ways.

There's no justice in this world.

"You can't teach people to be lazy - either they have it, or they don't."

I think... I think it's in my basement... Let me go upstairs and check.

When alerted to an intrusion by tinkling glass or otherwise, 1) Calm yourself 2) Identify the intruder 3) If hostile, kill him. Step number 3 is of particular importance. If you leave the guy alive out of misguided softheartedness, he will repay y

The lunatic, the lover, and the poet, Are of imagination all compact...

At twenty-six, Kate, though not promiscuous, had slept with most of the decent men in public life.

I do not patronize poor, ill educated, or disenfranchised people by exempting them from the same critical examination I feel free to direct toward the rest of society, however much I might champion the same minority or disadvantaged group in the foru

In spite of everything, I still believe that people are good at heart.

Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice. In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians called it "Christmas" and went to

"One Saturday afternoon, during the campaign to decide whether or not there should be a Coastal Commission, I took a helicopter ride from Los Angeles to San Diego. We passed several state beaches, some crowded and some virtually empty. They had the

Better the prince of some inferior court, Than second, or less, in beatific light.

Put a rogue in the limelight and he will act like an honest man.

A sect or party is an elegant incognito devised to save a man from the vexation of thinking.

You know it's Monday when you wake up and it's Tuesday.

It follows that any commander in chief who undertakes to carry out a plan which he considers defective is at fault; he must put forth his reasons, insist of the plan being changed, and finally tender his resignation rather than be the instrument of h

Certain passages in several laws have always defied interpretation and the most inexplicable must be a matter of opinion. A judge of the Court of Session of Scotland has sent the editors of this book his candidate which reads, "In the Nuts (unground

Fay: The British police force used to be run by men of integrity. Truscott: That is a mistake which has been rectified.

Take care of the luxuries and the necessities will take care of themselves.

Absolutum obsoletum. (If it works, it's out of date.)

You see things; and you say "Why?" But I dream things that never were; and I say "Why not?"

There is a certain impertinence in allowing oneself to be burned for an opinion.

"Give me enough medals, and I'll win any war."

If you laid all of our laws end to end, there would be no end.

Whoever has lived long enough to find out what life is, knows how deep a debt of gratitude we owe to Adam, the first great benefactor of our race. He brought death into the world.

I heard a definition of an intellectual, that I thought was very interesting: a man who takes more words than are necessary to tell more than he knows.

If a man stay away from his wife for seven years, the law presumes the separation to have killed him; yet according to our daily experience, it might well prolong his life.

Historians have now definitely established that Juan Cabrillo, discoverer of California, was not looking for Kansas, thus setting a precedent that continues to this day.

All the big corporations depreciate their possessions, and you can, too, provided you use them for business purposes. For example, if you subscribe to the Wall Street Journal, a business-related newspaper, you can deduct the cost of your house, beca

Column 1 Column 2 Column 3 0. integrated 0. management 0. options 1. total 1. organizational 1. flexibility 2. systematized 2. monitored 2. capability 3. parallel 3. reciprocal 3. mobility 4. functional 4. digital 4. programming 5. re

The man-hating woman, like the cold woman, is largely imaginary. She is simply a woman who has done her best to snare a man and has failed.

With women, I've got a long bamboo pole with a leather loop on the end of it. I slip the loop around their necks so they can't get away or come too close. Like catching snakes.

Sometimes even to live is an act of courage.

Don't do the crime, if you can't do the time.

Money can't buy love, but it improves your bargaining position.

Black people have never rioted. A riot is what white people think blacks are involved in when they burn stores.

Dignity is like a flag. It flaps in a storm.

Man is the measure of all things.

The fact that it works is immaterial.

What good is an obscenity trial except to popularize literature?

Someone did a study of the three most-often-heard phrases in New York City. One is "Hey, taxi." Two is, "What train do I take to get to Bloomingdale's?" And three is, "Don't worry. It's just a flesh wound."

"Every morning, I get up and look through the 'Forbes' list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work"

If a jury in a criminal trial stays out for more than twenty-four hours, it is certain to vote acquittal, save in those instances where it votes guilty.

A committee takes root and grows, it flowers, wilts and dies, scattering the seed from which other committees will bloom.

It's is not, it isn't ain't, and it's it's, not its, if you mean it is. If you don't, it's its. Then too, it's hers. It isn't her's. It isn't our's either. It's ours, and likewise yours and theirs.

The government [is] extremely fond of amassing great quantities of statistics. These are raised to the nth degree, the cube roots are extracted, and the results are arranged into elaborate and impressive displays. What must be kept ever in mind, how

Oh, I don't blame Congress. If I had $600 billion at my disposal, I'd be irresponsible, too.

His followers called him Mahasamatman and said he was a god. He preferred to drop the Maha- and the -atman, however, and called himself Sam. He never claimed to be a god. But then, he never claimed not to be a god. Circum- stances being what they

"Nuclear war would really set back cable."

"What's this? Trix? Aunt! Trix? You? You're after the prize! What is it?" He picked up the box and studied the back. "A glow-in-the-dark squid! Have you got it out of there yet?" He tilted the box, angling the little colored balls of cereal

She ran the gamut of emotions from 'A' to 'B'.

There are many of us in this old world of ours who hold that things break about even for all of us. I have observed, for example, that we all get about the same amount of ice. The rich get it in the summer and the poor get it in the winter.

You never gain something but that you lose something.

The faster I go, the behinder I get.