"Ubi non accusator, ibi non judex." (Where there is no police, there is no speed limit.)

Yevtushenko has... an ego that can crack crystal at a distance of twenty feet.

To say you got a vote of confidence would be to say you needed a vote of confidence.

Anybody has a right to evade taxes if he can get away with it. No citizen has a moral obligation to assist in maintaining his government.

You don't move to Edina, you achieve Edina.

The heroic hours of life do not announce their presence by drum and trumpet, challenging us to be true to ourselves by appeals to the martial spirit that keeps the blood at heat. Some little, unassuming, unobtrusive choice presents itself before us

You don't have to explain something you never said.

The Worst Car Hire Service When David Schwartz left university in 1972, he set up Rent-a-wreck as a joke. Being a natural prankster, he acquired a fleet of beat-up shabby, wreckages waiting for the scrap heap in California. He put on a cap and lo

Competitive fury is not always anger. It is the true missionary's courage and zeal in facing the possibility that one's best may not be enough.

The only difference between the saint and the sinner is that every saint has a past and every sinner has a future.

Chapter 1 The story so far: In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.

It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.

You can destroy your now by worrying about tomorrow.

When more and more people are thrown out of work, unemployment results.

I have gained this by philosophy: that I do without being commanded what others do only from fear of the law.

Imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality.

My dear People. My dear Bagginses and Boffins, and my dear Tooks and Brandybucks, and Grubbs, and Chubbs, and Burrowses, and Hornblowers, and Bolgers, Bracegirdles, Goodbodies, Brockhouses and Proudfoots. Also my good Sackville Bagginses that I w

What does education often do? It makes a straight cut ditch of a free meandering brook.

Honesty pays, but it doesn't seem to pay enough to suit some people.

There's no such thing as a free lunch.

Television has proved that people will look at anything rather than each other.

When your work speaks for itself, don't interrupt.

Atlee is a very modest man. And with reason.

"Taxes should hurt. I just mailed my own tax return last night and I am prepared to say `ouch!' as loud as anyone."

Si Dieu n'existait pas, il faudrait l'inventer. [If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him.]

Thompson, if he is to be believed, has sampled the entire rainbow of legal and illegal drugs in heroic efforts to feel better than he does. As for the truth about his health: I have asked around about it. I am told that he appears to be strong and

Any philosophy that can be put "in a nutshell" belongs there.

The fact that it works is immaterial.

If a man has a strong faith he can indulge in the luxury of skepticism.

Never have so many understood so little about so much.

He played the king as if afraid someone else would play the ace.

Dear Mister Language Person: What is the purpose of the apostrophe? Answer: The apostrophe is used mainly in hand-lettered small business signs to alert the reader than an "S" is coming up at the end of a word, as in: WE DO NOT EXCEPT PERSONAL CHEC

Three minutes' thought would suffice to find this out; but thought is irksome and three minutes is a long time.

If you wish to be happy for one hour, get drunk. If you wish to be happy for three days, get married. If you wish to be happy for a month, kill your pig and eat it. If you wish to be happy forever, learn to fish.

A violent man will die a violent death.

Having nothing, nothing can he lose.

Things are more like they are today than they ever were before.

You couldn't even prove the White House staff sane beyond a reasonable doubt.

It may be better to be a live jackal than a dead lion, but it is better still to be a live lion. And usually easier.

When neither their poverty nor their honor is touched, the majority of men live content.

Walking on water wasn't built in a day.

I think the world is run by C students.

If you want to know what god thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.

The farther you go, the less you know.

We're fantastically incredibly sorry for all these extremely unreasonable things we did. I can only plead that my simple, barely-sentient friend and myself are underprivileged, deprived and also college students.

The first rule of intelligent tinkering is to save all the parts.

Talking about music is like dancing about architecture.

"You and I as individuals can, by borrowing, live beyond our means, but only for a limited period of time. Why should we think that collectively, as a nation, we are not bound by that same limitation?"

Life being what it is, one dreams of revenge.

The Public is merely a multiplied "me."

"There was an interesting development in the CBS-Westmoreland trial: both sides agreed that after the trial, Andy Rooney would be allowed to talk to the jury for three minutes about little things that annoyed him during the trial."

I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forego their use.

When you have an efficient government, you have a dictatorship.

Would that my hand were as swift as my tongue.

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

The conservation movement is a breeding ground of Communists and other subversives. We intend to clean them out, even if it means rounding up every bird watcher in the country.

There's small choice in rotten apples.

Diary of a Young Girl LITE(tm)

Whatever it is, I fear Greeks even when they bring gifts.

Not all who own a harp are harpers.

America is a stronger nation for the ACLU's uncompromising effort.

Without adventure, civilization is in full decay.

The real purpose of books is to trap the mind into doing its own thinking.

"They make a desert and call it peace."

Laws are like sausages. It's better not to see them being made.

I used to be a rebel in my youth. This cause... that cause... (chuckle) I backed 'em ALL! But I learned. Rebellion is simply a device used by the immature to hide from his own problems. So I lost interest in politics. Now when I feel aroused by

It's from Casablanca. I've been waiting all my life to use that line.

Believe everything you hear about the world; nothing is too impossibly bad.

Beauty is one of the rare things which does not lead to doubt of God.

It is your concern when your neighbor's wall is on fire.

Naked children have never played in _o_u_r fountains, and I.M. Pei will never be happy on Route 66.

Divorce is a game played by lawyers.

The superpowers often behave like two heavily armed blind men feeling their way around a room, each believing himself in mortal peril from the other, whom he assumes to have perfect vision. Each tends to ascribe to the other side a consistency, fors

We are giving instruction to FBI agents in the various Chinese dialects ... to handle present and likely future contingencies.

"Not Hercules could have knock'd out his brains, for he had none."

Wishing without work is like fishing without bait.

When a man knows he is to be hanged in a fortnight, it concentrates his mind wonderfully.

Never buy what you do not want because it is cheap; it will be dear to you.

"Here's the holiday schedule for Monday's observation of Martin Luther King Jr.'s birthday, when the following will be closed: * Governmental offices * Post offices * Libraries * Schools * Banks * Parts of Palm Beach and the mind of Se

Thinking you know something is a sure way to blind yourself.

Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils.

There must be more to life than having everything.

Time is the most valuable thing a man can spend.

They also serve who only stand and wait.

There is no such thing as inner peace. There is only nervousness or death. Any attempt to prove otherwise constitutes unacceptable behaviour.

The superior man understands what is right; the inferior man understands what will sell.

The plot was designed in a light vein that somehow became varicose.

"Spare no expense to save money on this one."

There's no such thing as an original sin.

A woman who is guided by the head and not by the heart is a social pestilence: she has all the defects of the passionate and affectionate woman, with none of her compensations; she is without pity, without love, without virtue, without sex.

All [zoos] actually offer to the public in return for the taxes spent upon them is a form of idle and witless amusement, compared to which a visit to a penitentiary, or even to a State legislature in session, is informing, stimulating and ennobling.

Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.

"Lemme show ya the odds, Sparky... In yer country, ya got 14 million black people, and 3 million white people. Now, does the name `Custer' mean anything to you?"

I dote on his very absence.

A dead man cannot bite.

Once a word has been allowed to escape, it cannot be recalled.

We have reason to be afraid. This is a terrible place.

Millions of sensible people are too high-minded to concede that politics is almost always the choice of the lesser evil. "Tweedledum and Tweedledee," they say. "I will not vote." Having abstained, they are presented with a President who appoints t

The trouble with superheros is what to do between phone booths.

To restore a sense of reality, I think Walt Disney should have a Hardluckland.

The more I see of men the more I admire dogs.

The difference between a misfortune and a calamity? If Gladstone fell into the Thames, it would be a misfortune. But if someone dragged him out again, it would be a calamity.

If the colleges were better, if they really had it, you would need to get the police at the gates to keep order in the inrushing multitude. See in college how we thwart the natural love of learning by leaving the natural method of teaching what each

Ever get the feeling that the world's on tape and one of the reels is missing?

You can't expect a boy to be vicious till he's been to a good school.

Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice. In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians called it "Christmas" and went to

Why be a man when you can be a success?

You are absolute plate-glass. I see to the very back of your mind.

I always had a repulsive need to be something more than human.

Even if you do learn to speak correct English, whom are you going to speak it to?

They are ill discoverers that think there is no land, when they can see nothing but sea.

Money can't buy happiness, but it can make you awfully comfortable while you're being miserable.

A free society is one where it is safe to be unpopular.

Getting kicked out of the American Bar Association is liked getting kicked out of the Book-of-the-Month Club.

We are not loved by our friends for what we are; rather, we are loved in spite of what we are.

Goals... Plans... they're fantasies, they're part of a dream world...

Liberty is always dangerous, but it is the safest thing we have.

All generalizations are false, including this one.

Fay: The British police force used to be run by men of integrity. Truscott: That is a mistake which has been rectified.

XI: If the Earth could be made to rotate twice as fast, managers would get twice as much done. If the Earth could be made to rotate twenty times as fast, everyone else would get twice as much done since all the managers would fly off. XII: I

I didn't do it! Nobody saw me do it! Can't prove anything!

Advertising is the rattling of a stick inside a swill bucket.

It's very glamorous to raise millions of dollars, until it's time for the venture capitalist to suck your eyeballs out.

For a light heart lives long.

Fain would I climb, yet fear I to fall.

In Hollywood, if you don't have happiness, you send out for it.

Like so many Americans, she was trying to construct a life that made sense from things she found in gift shops.

"When are you BUTTHEADS gonna learn that you can't oppose Gestapo tactics *with* Gestapo tactics?"

Some people say a front-engine car handles best. Some people say a rear-engine car handles best. I say a rented car handles best.

It is convenient that there be gods, and, as it is convenient, let us believe there are.

I knew her before she was a virgin.

The two most beautiful words in the English language are "Cheque Enclosed."

I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn't know.

Sometimes a man who deserves to be looked down upon because he is a fool is despised only because he is a lawyer.

Confucius say too much.

'Naomi, sex at noon taxes.' I moan. Never odd or even. A man, a plan, a canal, Panama. Madam, I'm Adam. Sit on a potato pan, Otis. Sit on Otis.

Honesty is for the most part less profitable than dishonesty.

If there is a sin against life, it consists perhaps not so much in despairing of life as in hoping for another life and in eluding the implacable grandeur of this life.

Be regular and orderly in your life, so that you may be violent and original in your work.

Even God cannot change the past.