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Facts are the enemy of truth.

La Rouchefoucauld


One learns to itch where one can scratch.

Lady Whiteadder


... so long as the people do not care to exercise their freedom, those who wish to tyrranize will do so; for tyrants are active and ardent, and will devote themselves in the name of any number of gods, religious and otherwise, to put shackles upon sl

Lafferty R. A.


The mind is its own place, and in itself Can make a Heav'n of Hell, a Hell of Heav'n.

Lai Chou En


Good government never depends upon laws, but upon the personal qualities of those who govern. The machinery of government is always subordinate to the will of those who administer that machinery. The most important element of government, therefore,

Lampoon The Harvard


Writing is turning one's worst moments into money.

Landers Ann


The world's great men have not commonly been great scholars, nor its great scholars great men.

Lang Andrew


If they were so inclined, they could impeach him because they don't like his necktie.

Langan L.M.


Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names the streets after them.

Lao Tsu


We're all in this alone.

Lara Michael


Just because you like my stuff doesn't mean I owe you anything.

Lara Michael


The truth is what is; what should be is a dirty lie.

Lardner David


The American system of ours, call it Americanism, call it Capitalism, call it what you like, gives each and every one of us a great opportunity if we only seize it with both hands and make the most of it.

Lardner Ring


A game can by God repent or we'll punish it. That's how they did it in Salem in the seventeenth century, and that's how we'll do it now.

Lardner Ring


Once the toothpaste is out of the tube, it's hard to get it back in.

Larry Niven


Whatever it is, I fear Greeks even when they bring gifts.

Larsen Dalglish


Canada Post doesn't really charge 32 cents for a stamp. It's 2 cents for postage and 30 cents for storage.

Larson Erik


The Soviet pre-eminence in chess can be traced to the average Russian's readiness to brood obsessively over anything, even the arrangement of some pieces of wood. Indeed, the Russians' predisposition for quiet reflection followed by sudden preventi

Lascl Christopher


If someone had told me I would be Pope one day, I would have studied harder.

Laukikanyay.


I have had my television aerials removed. It's the moral equivalent of a prostate operation.

Lazarus


An honest tale speeds best being plainly told.

Lazarus Long


A lot of people I know believe in positive thinking, and so do I. I believe everything positively stinks.

LeBoutillier J.


I do not know whether I was then a man dreaming I was a butterfly, or whether I am now a butterfly dreaming I am a man.

LeGuin Ursula K.


Don't be humble ... you're not that great.

Lear King


I went to a Grateful Dead Concert and they played for SEVEN hours. Great song.

Leary Tim


Those who have some means think that the most important thing in the world is love. The poor know that it is money.

Lebowitz Fran


Everything takes longer, costs more, and is less useful.

Lebowitz Fran


Tallulah Bankhead barged down the Nile last night as Cleopatra and sank.

Lebowitz Fran


Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid.

Lebowitz Fran


Going into politics is as fatal to a gentleman as going into a bordello is fatal to a virgin.

Leghorn Foghorn


Best Mistakes In Films In his "Filmgoer's Companion", Mr. Leslie Halliwell helpfully lists four of the cinema's greatest moments which you should get to see if at all possible. In "Carmen Jones", the camera tracks with Dorothy Dandridge down a st

Leghorn Foghorn


If you are of the opinion that the contemplation of suicide is sufficient evidence of a poetic nature, do not forget that actions speak louder than words.

Leghorn Foghorn


Faith is under the left nipple.

Lehman John


My own life has been spent chronicling the rise and fall of human systems, and I am convinced that we are terribly vulnerable. ... We should be reluctant to turn back upon the frontier of this epoch. Space is indifferent to what we do; it has no fe

Lehrer Tom


The sky is blue so we know where to stop mowing.

Lehrer Tom


Fanaticism consists of redoubling your effort when you have forgotten your aim.

Lehrer Tom


Having the fewest wants, I am nearest to the gods.

Lem Stanislaw


The two party system ... is a triumph of the dialectic. It showed that two could be one and one could be two and had probably been fabricated by Hegel for the American market on a subcontract from General Dynamics.

Lem Stanislaw


"Yes, that was Richard Nixon. He used to be President. When he left the White House, the Secret Service would count the silverware."

Len Cool


Do not despair of life. You have no doubt force enough to overcome your obstacles. Think of the fox prowling through wood and field in a winter night for something to satisfy his hunger. Notwithstanding cold and hounds and traps, his race survives

Lenin Vladimir Il'ich


The goys have proven the following theorem...

Lenin


Home is where the hurt is.

Lennon John


The most delightful day after the one on which you buy a cottage in the country is the one on which you resell it.

Lennon John


Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. My advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.

Leo Rosten


The world is full of people who have never, since childhood, met an open doorway with an open mind.

LeoGrande William


I go the way that Providence dictates.

Leonard Ohio Lt. Governor Paul


"She said, `I know you ... you cannot sing'. I said, `That's nothing, you should hear me play piano.'"

Leopardi Giacomo


By perseverance the snail reached the Ark.

Lerner Max


Welcome to Lake Wobegon, where all the men are strong, the women are pretty, and the children are above-average.

Leslie Stephen


Plastic... Aluminum... These are the inheritors of the Universe! Flesh and Blood have had their day... and that day is past!

Leslie Stephen


In Marseilles they make half the toilet soap we consume in America, but the Marseillaise only have a vague theoretical idea of its use, which they have obtained from books of travel.

Lester Julius


The real purpose of books is to trap the mind into doing its own thinking.

Letterman David


When a place gets crowded enough to require ID's, social collapse is not far away. It is time to go elsewhere. The best thing about space travel is that it made it possible to go elsewhere.

Letterman David


The Law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich, as well as the poor, to sleep under the bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread.

Letterman David


Beggars should be no choosers.

Letterman David


If the church put in half the time on covetousness that it does on lust, this would be a better world.

Letterman David


If you go on with this nuclear arms race, all you are going to do is make the rubble bounce.

Letterman David


Good-bye. I am leaving because I am bored.

Letterman David


A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back the when it begins to rain.

Letterman David


Reality is bad enough, why should I tell the truth?

Levant Oscar


In this world of sin and sorrow there is always something to be thankful for; as for me, I rejoice that I am not a Republican.

Levant Oscar


We all live in a state of ambitious poverty.

Levin Bernard


"MOKE DAT YIGARETTE"

Levine Joseph E.


Another such victory over the Romans, and we are undone.

Levinson Leonard


By the middle 1880's, practically all the roads except those in the South, were of the present standard gauge. The southern roads were still five feet between rails. It was decided to change the gauge of all southern roads to standard, in one day

Lew Sinclair


The fashion wears out more apparel than the man.

Lewin Ralph


Civilization is the limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessities.

Lewis C.S.


If built in great numbers, motels will be used for nothing but illegal purposes.

Lewis C.S.


Yawd [noun, Bostonese]: the campus of Have Id.

Lewis Joe E.


Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition.

Lewis Joe E.


Catharsis is something I associate with pornography and crossword puzzles.

Lewis Richard


Lord, what fools these mortals be!

Lewis Sinclair


I always wake up at the crack of ice.

Lewis Thomas


Termiter's argument that God is His own grandmother generated a surprising amount of controversy among Church leaders, who on the one hand considered the argument unsupported by scripture but on the other hand were unwilling to risk offending God's g

Li Woman's


Many enraged psychiatrists are inciting a weary butcher. The butcher is weary and tired because he has cut meat and steak and lamb for hours and weeks. He does not desire to chant about anything with raving psychiatrists, but he sings about his gin

Li Mark Twain


Life is the childhood of our immortality.

Lie Trygve


You can have peace. Or you can have freedom. Don't ever count on having both at once.

Liebling A.J.


A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats.

Liebling A.J.


Interesting poll results reported in today's New York Post: people on the street in midtown Manhattan were asked whether they approved of the US invasion of Grenada. Fifty-three percent said yes; 39 percent said no; and 8 percent said "Gimme a quart

Liepmann Hans


Already the spirit of our schooling is permeated with the feeling that every subject, every topic, every fact, every professed truth must be submitted to a certain publicity and impartiality. All proffered samples of learning must go to the same ass

Lieutenant Kermit Tyler


The philosopher's treatment of a question is like the treatment of an illness.

Lilly John


From the cradle to the coffin underwear comes first.

Lincoln A.


"There was an interesting development in the CBS-Westmoreland trial: both sides agreed that after the trial, Andy Rooney would be allowed to talk to the jury for three minutes about little things that annoyed him during the trial."

Lincoln Abraham


The past always looks better than it was. It's only pleasant because it isn't here.

Lincoln Abraham


Let's talk about how to fill out your 1984 tax return. Here's an often overlooked accounting technique that can save you thousands of dollars: For several days before you put it in the mail, carry your tax return around under your armpit. No IRS ag

Lincoln Abraham


Fortune and love befriend the bold.

Lincoln Abraham


We have art that we do not die of the truth.

Lincoln Abraham


The Least Successful Equal Pay Advertisement In 1976 the European Economic Community pointed out to the Irish Government that it had not yet implemented the agreed sex equality legislation. The Dublin Government immediately advertised for an equal

Lincoln Abraham


There's no such thing as a free lunch.

Lincoln Abraham


It's from Casablanca. I've been waiting all my life to use that line.

Lincoln Abraham


Politicians should read science fiction, not westerns and detective stories.

Lindbergh Charles


"Earth is a great, big funhouse without the fun."

Ling James J.


Circumstances rule men; men do not rule circumstances.

Lippmann Walter


I understand why you're confused. You're thinking too much.

Lippmann Walter


Unless hours were cups of sack, and minutes capons, and clocks the tongues of bawds, and dials the signs of leaping houses, and the blessed sun himself a fair, hot wench in flame-colored taffeta, I see no reason why thou shouldst be so superfluous to

Little Mary Wilson


Wisdom is knowing what to do with what you know.

Little Rich


The world has many unintentionally cruel mechanisms that are not designed for people who walk on their hands.

Lloyd Kaufman


He who makes a beast of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man.

Lo graffito in


The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.

Locke John


Majorities, of course, start with minorities.

Lockridge Ross


Art is either plagiarism or revolution.

Long Lazarus


The cry has been that when war is declared, all opposition should therefore be hushed. A sentiment more unworthy of a free country could hardly be propagated. If the doctrine be admitted, rulers have only to declare war and they are screened at onc

Long Lazarus


I acted to show my love for Jodie Foster.

Long Lazarus


Flame on!

Long Lazarus


The lawgiver, of all beings, most owes the law allegiance. He of all men should behave as though the law compelled him. But it is the universal weakness of mankind that what we are given to administer we presently imagine we own.

Long Lazarus


Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

Long Lazarus


I've got a very bad feeling about this.

Long Lazarus


"...The name of the song is called 'Haddocks' Eyes'!" "Oh, that's the name of the song, is it?" Alice said, trying to feel interested. "No, you don't understand," the Knight said, looking a little vexed. "That's what the name is called. The nam

Long Lazarus


I have a dream. I have a dream that one day, on the red hills of Georgia, the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slaveowners will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood.

Long Lazarus


"If once a man indulges himself in murder, very soon he comes to think little of robbing; and from robbing he next comes to drinking and Sabbath-breaking, and from that to incivility and procrastination."

Long Lazarus


Fame is a vapor; popularity an accident; the only earthly certainty is oblivion.

Long Russell


Aim for the moon. If you miss, you may hit a star.

Longfellow H.W.


Scrubbing floors and emptying bedpans has as much dignity as the Presidency.

Longworth A. R.


One picture is worth more than ten thousand words.

Longworth Alice Roosevelt


So so is good, very good, very excellent good: and yet it is not; it is but so so.

Longworth Alice Roosevelt


Luck can't last a lifetime, unless you die young.

Longworth Alice Roosevelt


Blessed are the young, for they shall inherit the national debt.

Loo Lewis Carroll


Like so many Americans, she was trying to construct a life that made sense from things she found in gift shops.

Louder P.G


Sometimes I wonder if I'm in my right mind. Then it passes off and I'm as intelligent as ever.

Louder P.G.


What fools these mortals be.

Louder P.G. Wodehouse


A commune is where people join together to share their lack of wealth.

Louisi Edwin Edwards


There's nothing in the middle of the road but yellow stripes and dead armadillos.

Lowell James Russell


O, it is excellent To have a giant's strength; but it is tyrannous To use it like a giant.

Lowell Robert


The Angels want to wear my red shoes.

Lowell James Russell


Art is anything you can get away with.

Lubbock John


Learning without thought is labor lost; thought without learning is perilous.

Luce C.B.


If I had any humility I would be perfect.

Luce Clare Booth


If I have to lay an egg for my country, I'll do it.

Lucinda Childs


There is nothing wrong with Southern California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn't cure.

Lula Pace Ripley


Walking on water wasn't built in a day.

Lumsden Marshall


It is difficult to produce a television documentary that is both incisive and probing when every twelve minutes one is interrupted by twelve dancing rabbits singing about toilet paper.

Lur Terry Pratchett


Imagine what we can imagine!

Lustbader Eric Van


Perfection is reached, not when there is no longer anything to add, but when there is no longer anything to take away.

Luten Daniel B.


The best executive is one who has sense enough to pick good people to do what he wants done, and self-restraint enough to keep from meddling with them while they do it.

Luten Daniel B.


I appreciate the fact that this draft was done in haste, but some of the sentences that you are sending out in the world to do your work for you are loitering in taverns or asleep beside the highway.

Luther Martin


A woman takes off her claim to respect along with her garments.

Luther Martin


On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does.

Luther Martin


"Somewhere", said Father Vittorini, "did Blake not speak of the Machineries of Joy? That is, did not God promote environments, then intimidate these Natures by provoking the existence of flesh, toy men and women, such as are we all? And thus happi

Lyly John


Prisons are built with stones of Law, brothels with bricks of Religion.

Lynch


Briefly stated, the findings are that when presented with an array of data or a sequence of events in which they are instructed to discover an underlying order, subjects show strong tendencies to perceive order and causality in random arrays, to perc

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... [after the announcement of Vanguard] ... Secretary of Defense Charles Wilson (the same "Engine Charlie" who once told the Senate, "[F]or years I've thought that what was good for our country was good for General Motors, and vice versa," probably
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