Doubt isn't the opposite of faith; it is an element of faith.

Then, gently touching my face, she hesitated for a moment as her incredible eyes poured forth into mine love, joy, pain, tragedy, acceptance, and peace. "'Bye for now," she said warmly.

Just because everything is different doesn't mean anything has changed.

The Worst Car Hire Service When David Schwartz left university in 1972, he set up Rent-a-wreck as a joke. Being a natural prankster, he acquired a fleet of beat-up shabby, wreckages waiting for the scrap heap in California. He put on a cap and lo

Either I'm dead or my watch has stopped.

Never buy what you do not want because it is cheap; it will be dear to you.

Some men are heterosexual, and some are bisexual, and some men don't think about sex at all... they become lawyers.

Practice yourself what you preach.

With Congress, every time they make a joke it's a law; and every time they make a law it's a joke.

I am a deeply superficial person.

I remember when legal used to mean lawful, now it means some kind of loophole.

The rights and interests of the laboring man will be protected and cared for not by our labor agitators, but by the Christian men to whom God in his infinite wisdom has given control of property interests of the country, and upon the successful manag

Sometimes even to live is an act of courage.

The trouble with the rat-race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.

Patience is the best remedy for every trouble.

Sho' they got to have it against the law. Shoot, ever'body git high, they wouldn't be nobody git up and feed the chickens. Hee-hee.

Education is what survives when what has been learnt has been forgotten.

We have art that we do not die of the truth.

The only alliance I would make with the Women's Liberation Movement is in bed.

Education is learning what you didn't even know you didn't know.

Never look a gift horse in the mouth.

There is nothing new except what has been forgotten.

Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. My advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.

To every Ph.D. there is an equal and opposite Ph.D.

A little inaccuracy saves a world of explanation.

My theology, briefly, is that the universe was dictated but not signed.

What you want, what you're hanging around in the world waiting for, is for something to occur to you.

It is Mr. Mellon's credo that $200,000,000 can do no wrong. Our offense consists in doubting it.

Charity begins at home.

No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.

Haste makes waste.

Television is a medium because anything well done is rare.

All is well that ends well.

I appreciate the fact that this draft was done in haste, but some of the sentences that you are sending out in the world to do your work for you are loitering in taverns or asleep beside the highway.

A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car.

Alas, I am dying beyond my means.

If reporters don't know that truth is plural, they ought to be lawyers.

It took me fifteen years to discover that I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by that time I was too famous.

If a fool persists in his folly he shall become wise.

Honesty's the best policy.

I'm always looking for a new idea that will be more productive than its cost.

Remember that there is an outside world to see and enjoy.

I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.

Use what talents you possess: the woods would be very silent if no birds sang there except those that sang best.

There is no proverb that is not true.

You can get much further with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.

Pereant, inquit, qui ante nos nostra dixerunt. [Confound those who have said our remarks before us.] or [May they perish who have expressed our bright ideas before us.]

Every man thinks God is on his side. The rich and powerful know that he is.

Imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality.

No house should ever be on any hill or on anything. It should be of the hill, belonging to it.

No poet or novelist wishes he was the only one who ever lived, but most of them wish they were the only one alive, and quite a number fondly believe their wish has been granted.

You must be the change you wish to see in the world.

The individual choice of garnishment of a burger can be an important point to the consumer in this day when individualism is an increasingly important thing to people.

If we could sell our experiences for what they cost us, we would all be millionaires.

If a thing's worth doing, it is worth doing badly.

I've got a very bad feeling about this.

It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle if it is lightly greased.

About the time we think we can make ends meet, somebody moves the ends.

Let others praise ancient times; I am glad I was born in these.

A furore Normanorum libera nos, O Domine! [From the fury of the norsemen deliver us, O Lord!]

Don't steal; thou'lt never thus compete successfully in business. Cheat.

Good government never depends upon laws, but upon the personal qualities of those who govern. The machinery of government is always subordinate to the will of those who administer that machinery. The most important element of government, therefore,

Do you know the difference between education and experience? Education is what you get when you read the fine print; experience is what you get when you don't.

A sad spectacle. If they be inhabited, what a scope for misery and folly. If they be not inhabited, what a waste of space.

Whom the mad would destroy, first they make Gods.

The most difficult thing in the world is to know how to do a thing and to watch someone else doing it wrong, without commenting.

He that teaches himself has a fool for a master.

The future is a race between education and catastrophe.

At ebb tide I wrote a line upon the sand, and gave it all my heart and all my soul. At flood tide I returned to read what I had inscribed and found my ignorance upon the shore.

From the cradle to the coffin underwear comes first.

Art is Nature speeded up and God slowed down.

I need another lawyer like I need another hole in my head.

Nothing succeeds like the appearance of success.

Porsche: there simply is no substitute.

The time spent on any item of the agenda [of a finance committee] will be in inverse proportion to the sum involved.

A fake fortuneteller can be tolerated. But an authentic soothsayer should be shot on sight. Cassandra did not get half the kicking around she deserved.

VI: A hungry dog hunts best. A hungrier dog hunts even better. VII: Decreased business base increases overhead. So does increased business base. VIII: The most unsuccessful four years in the education of a cost-estimator is fifth grade ari

There's nothing worse for your business than extra Santa Clauses smoking in the men's room.

The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that, you've got it made.

What we need in this country, instead of Daylight Savings Time, which nobody really understands anyway, is a new concept called Weekday Morning Time, whereby at 7 a.m. every weekday we go into a space-launch-style "hold" for two to three hours, durin

I just asked myself... what would John DeLorean do?

I wish there was a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence. There's a knob called "brightness", but it doesn't seem to work.

Real wealth can only increase.

Death is a spirit leaving a body, sort of like a shell leaving the nut behind.

Jesus may love you, but I think you're garbage wrapped in skin.

Let me assure you that to us here at First National, you're not just a number. Youre two numbers, a dash, three more numbers, another dash and another number.

The human brain is a wonderful thing. It starts working the moment you are born, and never stops until you stand up to speak in public.

If you catch a man, throw him back.

Certain passages in several laws have always defied interpretation and the most inexplicable must be a matter of opinion. A judge of the Court of Session of Scotland has sent the editors of this book his candidate which reads, "In the Nuts (unground

You can't run away forever, But there's nothing wrong with getting a good head start.

If a man stay away from his wife for seven years, the law presumes the separation to have killed him; yet according to our daily experience, it might well prolong his life.

An atom-blaster is a good weapon, but it can point both ways.

Only those who leisurely approach that which the masses are busy about can be busy about that which the masses take leisurely.

Littering is dumb.

The superior man understands what is right; the inferior man understands what will sell.

He who despairs over an event is a coward, but he who holds hopes for the human condition is a fool.

I don't have any solution but I certainly admire the problem.

The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.

Chance is perhaps the work of God when He did not want to sign.

Tallulah Bankhead barged down the Nile last night as Cleopatra and sank.

It shall be unlawful for any suspicious person to be within the municipality.

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

I'm going to raise an issue and stick it in your ear.

I remember when legal used to mean lawful, now it means some kind of loophole.

So little time, so little to do.

A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.

If there were a school for, say, sheet metal workers, that after three years left its graduates as unprepared for their careers as does law school, it would be closed down in a minute, and no doubt by lawyers.

"Die? I should say not, dear fellow. No Barrymore would allow such a conventional thing to happen to him."

Lo! Men have become the tool of their tools.

Mum's the word.

Faith is under the left nipple.

When the going gets tough, everyone leaves.

There's such a thing as too much point on a pencil.

Never invest your money in anything that eats or needs repainting.

Let us not look back in anger or forward in fear, but around us in awareness.

Television has proved that people will look at anything rather than each other.

I think... I think it's in my basement... Let me go upstairs and check.

Prizes are for children.

God is Dead.

Genius is pain.

"Why are we importing all these highbrow plays like `Amadeus'? I could have told you Mozart was a jerk for nothing."

If the path be beautiful, let us not ask where it leads.

Every young man should have a hobby: learning how to handle money is the best one.

"Life is too important to take seriously."

Mundus vult decipi decipiatur ergo.

Your wig steers the gig.

For every bloke who makes his mark, there's half a dozen waiting to rub it out.

If men are not afraid to die, it is of no avail to threaten them with death. If men live in constant fear of dying, And if breaking the law means a man will be killed, Who will dare to break the law? There is always an official executioner. If

The best you get is an even break.

Producers seem to be so prejudiced against actors who've had no training. And there's no reason for it. So what if I didn't attend the Royal Academy for twelve years? I'm still a professional trying to be the best actress I can. Why doesn't anyone

To accuse others for one's own misfortunes is a sign of want of education. To accuse oneself shows that one's education has begun. To accuse neither oneself nor others shows that one's education is complete.

If I were a grave-digger or even a hangman, there are some people I could work for with a great deal of enjoyment.

If I could reach, I'd never leave the house.

Lookie, lookie, here comes cookie...

Women are nothing but machines for producing children.

Intellect annuls Fate. So far as a man thinks, he is free.

Eighteen goddess-like daughters are not equal to one son with a hump.

Necessity has no law.

Luck can't last a lifetime, unless you die young.

You have all eternity to be cautious in when you're dead.

There is a secret person undamaged within every individual.

If while you are in school, there is a shortage of qualified personnel in a particular field, then by the time you graduate with the necessary qualifications, that field's employment market is glutted.

Please try to limit the amount of "this room doesn't have any bazingas" until you are told that those rooms are "punched out." Once punched out, we have a right to complain about atrocities, missing bazingas, and such.

TV is chewing gum for the eyes.

Well, we'll really have a party, but we've gotta post a guard outside.

Everything takes longer, costs more, and is less useful.

People in general do not willingly read if they have anything else to amuse them.

In Hollywood, if you don't have happiness, you send out for it.

Do not seek death; death will find you. But seek the road which makes death a fulfillment.

A beginning is the time for taking the most delicate care that balances are correct.

A good plan today is better than a perfect plan tomorrow.

He who laughs has not yet heard the bad news.

If you want to know what god thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.

Ed Sullivan will be around as long as someone else has talent.

Time goes, you say? Ah no! Time stays, *we* go.

The man who runs may fight again.

Rotten wood cannot be carved.

It is ridiculous to call this an industry. This is not. This is rat eat rat, dog eat dog. I'll kill 'em, and I'm going to kill 'em before they kill me. You're talking about the American way of survival of the fittest.

"Hi, I'm Preston A. Mantis, president of Consumers Retail Law Outlet. As you can see by my suit and the fact that I have all these books of equal height on the shelves behind me, I am a trained legal attorney. Do you have a car or a job? Do you ever

Being a miner, as soon as you're too old and tired and sick and stupid to do your job properly, you have to go, where the very opposite applies with the judges.

Public use of any portable music system is a virtually guaranteed indicator of sociopathic tendencies.

Superstition, idolatry, and hypocrisy have ample wages, but truth goes a-begging.

Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it.

If a guru falls in the forest with no one to hear him, was he really a guru at all?

Since everything in life is but an experience perfect in being what it is, having nothing to do with good or bad, acceptance or rejection, one may well burst out in laughter.

This novel is not to be tossed lightly aside, but to be hurled with great force.

Si jeunesse savait, si vieillesse pouvait. [If youth but knew, if old age but could.]

The race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, but that's the way to bet.

I heard a definition of an intellectual, that I thought was very interesting: a man who takes more words than are necessary to tell more than he knows.

I just got off the phone with Sonny Barger [President of the Hell's Angels]. He wants me to appear as a character witness for him at his murder trial and said he'd be glad to appear as a character witness on my behalf if I ever needed one. Needless

Laws are like sausages. It's better not to see them being made.

Think sideways!

Sensible and responsible women do not want to vote.

The course of true anything never does run smooth.

Learning without thought is labor lost; thought without learning is perilous.

Two wrongs are only the beginning.

It has long been noticed that juries are pitiless for robbery and full of indulgence for infanticide. A question of interest, my dear Sir! The jury is afraid of being robbed and has passed the age when it could be a victim of infanticide.

Consider the postage stamp: its usefulness consists in the ability to stick to one thing till it gets there.

Where it is a duty to worship the sun it is pretty sure to be a crime to examine the laws of heat.

When you are at Rome live in the Roman style; when you are elsewhere live as they live elsewhere.

Of all men's miseries, the bitterest is this: to know so much and have control over nothing.

Let sleeping dogs lie.

... but as records of courts and justice are admissible, it can easily be proved that powerful and malevolent magicians once existed and were a scourge to mankind. The evidence (including confession) upon which certain women were convicted of witch

I didn't do it! Nobody saw me do it! Can't prove anything!

Events are not affected, they develop.

The term "fire" brings up visions of violence and mayhem and the ugly scene of shooting employees who make mistakes. We will now refer to this process as "deleting" an employee (much as a file is deleted from a disk). The employee is simply there o

The Law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich, as well as the poor, to sleep under the bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread.

Waste not fresh tears over old griefs.

After his Ignoble Disgrace, Satan was being expelled from Heaven. As he passed through the Gates, he paused a moment in thought, and turned to God and said, "A new creature called Man, I hear, is soon to be created." "This is true," He replied.

In case of fire, stand in the hall and shout "Fire!"

Believe everything you hear about the world; nothing is too impossibly bad.

Nothing will dispel enthusiasm like a small admission fee.

You k'n hide de fier, but w'at you gwine do wid de smoke?

My father was a creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, it seems, begins where yours left off.

Mate, this parrot wouldn't VOOM if you put four million volts through it!

The idea there was that consumers would bring their broken electronic devices, such as television sets and VCR's, to the destruction centers, where trained personnel would whack them (the devices) with sledgehammers. With their devices thus permanent

The world has many unintentionally cruel mechanisms that are not designed for people who walk on their hands.

I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday and I love today.

Time as he grows old teaches all things.

Judges, as a class, display, in the matter of arranging alimony, that reckless generosity which is found only in men who are giving away someone else's cash.

Two wrongs don't make a right, but they make a good excuse.

The eye is a menace to clear sight, the ear is a menace to subtle hearing, the mind is a menace to wisdom, every organ of the senses is a menace to its own capacity. ... Fuss, the god of the Southern Ocean, and Fret, the god of the Northern Ocean, h

I value kindness to human beings first of all, and kindness to animals. I don't respect the law; I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger, the food cheaper, and old men

... a thing called Ethics, whose nature was confusing but if you had it you were a High-Class Realtor and if you hadn't you were a shyster, a piker and a fly-by-night. These virtues awakened Confidence and enabled you to handle Bigger Propositions.

Treat your friend as if he might become an enemy.

Mirrors should reflect a little before throwing back images.

Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration.

Any philosophy that can be put "in a nutshell" belongs there.

When you make your mark in the world, watch out for guys with erasers.

One man's brain plus one other will produce one half as many ideas as one man would have produced alone. These two plus two more will produce half again as many ideas. These four plus four more begin to represent a creative meeting, and the ratio c