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Coincidences are spiritual puns.

M Hawkeye

Briefly stated, the findings are that when presented with an array of data or a sequence of events in which they are instructed to discover an underlying order, subjects show strong tendencies to perceive order and causality in random arrays, to perc

Mabbitt Ronald

It is not the critic who counts, or how the strong man stumbled, or whether the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives vali

Mabley Moms

Concerning the war in Vietnam, Senator George Aiken of Vermount noted in January, 1966, "I'm not very keen for doves or hawks. I think we need more owls."

MacDonald Dwight

To generalize is to be an idiot.

MacDonald Ross

Look before you leap.

Macaulay Thomas

If ever the pleasure of one has to be bought by the pain of the other, there better be no trade. A trade by which one gains and the other loses is a fraud.

Macdonald Ronald

Theology is an attempt to explain a subject by men who do not understand it. The intent is not to tell the truth but to satisfy the questioner.


About the time we think we can make ends meet, somebody moves the ends.

Machiavelli Niccolo

Nothing, nothing, nothing, no error, no crime is so absolutely repugnant to God as everything which is official; and why? because the official is so impersonal and therefore the deepest insult which can be offered to a personality.

Machineri R. Bradbury

If a thing's worth doing, it is worth doing badly.

Madariaga Salvador De

"There is no Father Christmas. It's just a marketing ploy to make low income parents' lives a misery." "... I want you to picture the trusting face of a child, streaked with tears because of what you just said." "I want you to picture the face of

Madison James

The good Christian should beware of mathematicians and all those who make empty prophecies. The danger already exists that mathematicians have made a covenant with the devil to darken the spirit and confine man in the bonds of Hell.


Your friends will know you better in the first minute you meet than your acquaintances will know you in a thousand years.

Mahabharata The

The way I understand it, the Russians are sort of a combination of evil and incompetence... sort of like the Post Office with tanks.

Mahabharata. The

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve immortality through not dying.


When the English language gets in my way, I walk over it.

Maher Bill

Writing is turning one's worst moments into money.

Mailer Norman

The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence.

Maistre Joseph De

Ignorance is never out of style. It was in fashion yesterday, it is the rage today, and it will set the pace tomorrow.


You've always made the mistake of being yourself.

Malraux Andre

Those who have had no share in the good fortunes of the mighty Often have a share in their misfortunes.

Mamet David

The hatred of relatives is the most violent.

Man Little Big

To listen to some devout people, one would imagine that God never laughs.

Manners Miss

Talking about music is like dancing about architecture.

Manson Charles

Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.

Manson Charles

It is easy to find fault, if one has that disposition. There was once a man who, not being able to find any other fault with his coal, complained that there were too many prehistoric toads in it.

Manua Princess Irulan

The whole religious complexion of the modern world is due to the absence from Jerusalem of a lunatic asylum.

Manville Tommy

Practical people would be more practical if they would take a little more time for dreaming.

Manville Tommy

A good question is never answered. It is not a bolt to be tightened into place but a seed to be planted and to bear more seed toward the hope of greening the landscape of idea.

Manville Tommy

Grig (the navigator): ... so you see, it's just the two of us against the entire space armada. Alex (the gunner): What?!? Grig: I've always wanted to fight a desperate battle against overwhelming odds. Alex: It'll be a slaughter! Grig: That'

Marcus Tullius Cicero

Some men are heterosexual, and some are bisexual, and some men don't think about sex at all... they become lawyers.

Margaret Mitchell

Certain passages in several laws have always defied interpretation and the most inexplicable must be a matter of opinion. A judge of the Court of Session of Scotland has sent the editors of this book his candidate which reads, "In the Nuts (unground

Mari Clive James on

Mum's the word.

Mark Twain

There are ten or twenty basic truths, and life is the process of discovering them over and over and over.

Mark Twain

October 12, the Discovery. It was wonderful to find America, but it would have been more wonderful to miss it.

Mark Twain

A rich man told me recently that a liberal is a man who tells other people what to do with their money.

Mark Twain

The chief enemy of creativity is "good" sense

Mark Twain

Bond reflected that good Americans were fine people and that most of them seemed to come from Texas.

Mark Twain

God shows his contempt for wealth by the kind of person he selects to receive it.

Mark Twain

Great acts are made up of small deeds.

Mark Twain

If you laid all of our laws end to end, there would be no end.

Mark Twain

It's pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness; poverty and wealth have both failed.

Mark Twain

Don't vote

Marlon Brando

There is no delight the equal of dread. As long as it is somebody else's.

Marlowe Christopher

Competence, like truth, beauty, and contact lenses, is in the eye of the beholder.

Marlowe Christopher

The avocation of assessing the failures of better men can be turned into a comfortable livelihood, providing you back it up with a Ph.D.

Marlowe Christopher

Mirrors should reflect a little before throwing back images.

Marlowe Christopher

A Polish worker walks into a bank to deposit his paycheck. He has heard about Poland's economic problems, and he asks what would happen to his money if the bank collapsed. "All of our deposits are guaranteed by the finance ministry, sir," the telle

Marquis Don

A definition of teaching: casting fake pearls before real swine.

Marquis Don

The pollution's at that awkward stage. Too thick to navigate and too thin to cultivate.

Marquis Don

San Francisco isn't what it used to be, and it never was.

Marquis Don

I shall give a propagandist reason for starting the war, no matter whether it is plausible or not. The victor will not be asked afterwards whether he told the truth or not. When starting and waging war it is not right that matters, but victory.

Marr Bill

The forest is safe because a lion lives therein and the lion is safe because it lives in a forest. Likewise the friendship of persons rests on mutual help.

Marshall Brickman

There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more.

Marshall Thurgood

A straw vote only shows which way the hot air blows.

Martin Steve

Many a writer seems to think he is never profound except when he can't understand his own meaning.

Martin Thomas L.

I have seen the future and it is just like the present, only longer.


You can get much further with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.


You're either part of the solution or part of the problem.


"Earth is a great, big funhouse without the fun."

Martin Steve

You know how to win a victory, Hannibal, but not how to use it.

Martin Steve

Have a place for everything and keep the thing somewhere else; this is not advice, it is merely custom.

Martin Susanna

Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time to reform.

Martin' Kin Hubbard

In a museum in Havana, there are two skulls of Christopher Columbus, "one when he was a boy and one when he was a man."

Marx Groucho

Politicians should read science fiction, not westerns and detective stories.

Marx Groucho

You can't learn too soon that the most useful thing about a principle is that it can always be sacrificed to expediency.


Never have so many understood so little about so much.

Masterson Bat

Why does a hearse horse snicker, hauling a lawyer away?

Mathis Andrew W.

A word to the wise is enough.

Mau W. Somerset

The most common given name in the world is Mohammad; the most common family name in the world is Chang. Can you imagine the enormous number of people in the world named Mohammad Chang?

Maugh W. Somerset

Where it is a duty to worship the sun it is pretty sure to be a crime to examine the laws of heat.

Maugham Somerset

The goys have proven the following theorem...

Maugham Somerset

The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.

Maugham W. Somerset

The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun.

Maugham W. Somerset

Man is by nature a political animal.

Maugham W.S.

"Given the choice between accomplishing something and just lying around, I'd rather lie around. No contest."

Maugham W. Somerset

In dwelling, be close to the land. In meditation, delve deep into the heart. In dealing with others, be gentle and kind. In speech, be true. In work, be competent. In action, be careful of your timing.

Max Beerbohm

Why was I born with such contemporaries?

Mayfield E.J.

"Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away".

Mayonnaise Hellman's

Let your conscience be your guide.

Mayor Kevin White

All [zoos] actually offer to the public in return for the taxes spent upon them is a form of idle and witless amusement, compared to which a visit to a penitentiary, or even to a State legislature in session, is informing, stimulating and ennobling.

McAfee Ron

You may have heard that a dean is to faculty as a hydrant is to a dog.

McCabe Charles

Tact in audacity is knowing how far you can go without going too far.

McCall Cash

They also serve who only stand and wait.

McCarthy Charlie

Americans' greatest fear is that America will turn out to have been a phenomenon, not a civilization.

McCarthy Charlie

Who can take the demands of the SDS seriously?

McCarthy Eugene

What fools these mortals be.

McCarthy Eugene

The course of true anything never does run smooth.

McCorkle Julia Norton

If there were a school for, say, sheet metal workers, that after three years left its graduates as unprepared for their careers as does law school, it would be closed down in a minute, and no doubt by lawyers.

McDaniel Hattie

Immature poets imitate, mature poets steal.

McEvoy J. P.

Executive ability is deciding quickly and getting somebody else to do the work.

McGee Travis

You can tell the ideals of a nation by its advertisements.

McGovern George

America, how can I write a holy litany in your silly mood?

McGuire Al

A political man can have as his aim the realization of freedom, but he has no means to realize it other than through violence.

McIntire Carl

Success is relative: It is what we can make of the mess we have made of things.

McLeod Thom

War hath no fury like a non-combatant.

McLuhan. Marshall

Democracy becomes a government of bullies, tempered by editors.

McShane Michael

Let's say your wedding ring falls into your toaster, and when you stick your hand in to retrieve it, you suffer Pain and Suffering as well as Mental Anguish. You would sue: * The toaster manufacturer, for failure to include, in the instructions

Mead Margaret

It is easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them.

Medawar Sir Peter

Maternity pay? Now every Tom, Dick and Harry will get pregnant.

Meese Ed

L'hazard ne favorise que l'esprit prepare.

Meir Golda

Work Hard. Rock Hard. Eat Hard. Sleep Hard. Grow Big. Wear Glasses If You Need 'Em.

Melvin Belli

Ever get the feeling that the world's on tape and one of the reels is missing?


Yet creeds mean very little, Coth answered the dark god, still speaking almost gently. The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this is true.


Training is everything. The peach was once a bitter almond; cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.


Plastic... Aluminum... These are the inheritors of the Universe! Flesh and Blood have had their day... and that day is past!

Mencken H. L.

There but for the grace of God, goes God.

Mencken H. L.

I believe that the moment is near when by a procedure of active paranoiac thought, it will be possible to systematize confusion and contribute to the total discrediting of the world of reality.

Mencken H. L.

The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers.

Mencken H. L.

The public is an old woman. Let her maunder and mumble.

Mencken H. L.

"Necessity is the mother of invention" is a silly proverb. "Necessity is the mother of futile dodges" is much nearer the truth.

Mencken H. L.

Prediction is very difficult, especially of the future.

Mencken H. L.

"A Mormon is a man that has the bad taste and the religion to do what a good many other people are restrained from doing by conscientious scruples and the police."

Mencken H. L.

Producers seem to be so prejudiced against actors who've had no training. And there's no reason for it. So what if I didn't attend the Royal Academy for twelve years? I'm still a professional trying to be the best actress I can. Why doesn't anyone

Mencken H.L.

This wasn't just plain terrible, this was fancy terrible. This was terrible with raisins in it.

Mencken H.L.

There's no such thing as an original sin.

Mencken H.L.

It's not so hard to lift yourself by your bootstraps once you're off the ground.

Mencken H.L.

The abuse of greatness is when it disjoins remorse from power.

Mencken H.L.

Men are superior to women.

Mencken H.L.

Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the person involved.

Mencken H.L.

The only promotion rules I can think of are that a sense of shame is to be avoided at all costs and there is never any reason for a hustler to be less cunning than more virtuous men. Oh yes ... whenever you think you've got something really great, a

Mencken H.L.

Fain would I climb, yet fear I to fall.

Mencken H.L.

She say, Miss Colie, You better hush. God might hear you. Let 'im hear me, I say. If he ever listened to poor colored women the world would be a different place, I can tell you.

Mencken H.L.

How do you explain school to a higher intelligence?

Mencken H.L.

The only thing that experience teaches us is that experience teaches us nothing.

Mencken H.L.

It is Mr. Mellon's credo that $200,000,000 can do no wrong. Our offense consists in doubting it.

Mencken H.L.

Somehow I reached excess without ever noticing when I was passing through satisfaction.

Mencken H.L.

Corruption is not the #1 priority of the Police Commissioner. His job is to enforce the law and fight crime.

Mencken H.L.

The price of success in philosophy is triviality.

Mencken H.L.

He didn't run for reelection. "Politics brings you into contact with all the people you'd give anything to avoid," he said. "I'm staying home."

Mencken H.L.

If you've seen one redwood, you've seen them all.

Mencken H.L.

I am, in point of fact, a particularly haughty and exclusive person, of pre-Adamite ancestral descent. You will understand this when I tell you that I can trace my ancestry back to a protoplasmal primordial atomic globule. Consequently, my family p

Mengot Roy

Those who educate children well are more to be honored than parents, for these only gave life, those the art of living well.

Meredith George

The only thing that stops God from sending a second Flood is that the first one was useless.

Meredith Owen

It is the quality rather than the quantity that matters.

Metrop Fran Lebowitz

No-one would remember the Good Samaritan if he had only had good intentions. He had money as well.

Mex Jack Handley

All art is but imitation of nature.

Mex Jack Handley The New

Some scholars are like donkeys, they merely carry a lot of books.

Mex Jack Handley The New

Genius is pain.

Meyrowitz N.

Anyone who knows history, particularly the history of Europe, will, I think, recognize that the domination of education or of government by any one particular religious faith is never a happy arrangement for the people.

Michael Levin

My daddy's brains was so scrambled he thought he was Jesus. They put him in a nut house for 5 years and when he got out, he didn't think he was Jesus, he thought he was *God*! ... Which made me Jesus.

Michael Levin

We know all about the habits of the ant, we know all about the habits of the bee, but we know nothing at all about the habits of the oyster. It seems almost certain that we have been choosing the wrong time for studying the oyster.

Michael Winner British

"Here's the holiday schedule for Monday's observation of Martin Luther King Jr.'s birthday, when the following will be closed: * Governmental offices * Post offices * Libraries * Schools * Banks * Parts of Palm Beach and the mind of Se


The longer I am out of office, the more infallible I appear to myself.

Michener James A.

The United States is like the guy at the party who gives cocaine to everybody and still nobody likes him.

Midler Bette

Government [is] an illusion the governed should not encourage.

Mike Harding

It's our fault. We should have given him better parts.

Mike Harding

Live fast, die young, and leave a flat patch of fur on the highway!

Mill John Stuart

An ounce of mother is worth a ton of priest.

Mill Dennis

No one born with a mouth and a need is "innocent".


At ebb tide I wrote a line upon the sand, and gave it all my heart and all my soul. At flood tide I returned to read what I had inscribed and found my ignorance upon the shore.

Miller Arthur

We're living in a golden age. All you need is gold.

Miller Arthur R.

That's where the money was.

Miller Dennis

If Jesus Christ came to this town, people would say, great guy; terrible carpenter.

Miller Dennis

I like to believe that people in the long run are going to do more to promote peace than our governments. Indeed, I think that people want peace so much that one of these days governments had better get out of the way and let them have it.

Miller Dennis

"No job too big; no fee too big!"

Miller Dennis

The way of the world is to praise dead saints and prosecute live ones.

Miller. Olin

By working faithfully eight hours a day, you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve.

Millman Dave

"My country, right or wrong" is a thing that no patriot would think of saying, except in a desperate case. It is like saying "My mother, drunk or sober."


"I have to convince you, or at least snow you ..."


What an author likes to write most is his signature on the back of a cheque.

Milton John

Dear Mister Language Person: What is the purpose of the apostrophe? Answer: The apostrophe is used mainly in hand-lettered small business signs to alert the reader than an "S" is coming up at the end of a word, as in: WE DO NOT EXCEPT PERSONAL CHEC

Milton John

Leave no stone unturned.

Milton John

Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet?

Mitchell Gener

Patch griefs with proverbs.


"MacDonald has the gift on compressing the largest amount of words into the smallest amount of thoughts."

Mizner Wilson

Trying to define yourself is like trying to bite your own teeth.

Mizner Wilson

"To YOU I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition."

Mizner Wilson

The use of money is all the advantage there is to having money.

Mizner Wilson

This novel is not to be tossed lightly aside, but to be hurled with great force.

Moffitt James

We prefer to believe that the absence of inverted commas guarantees the originality of a thought, whereas it may be merely that the utterer has forgotten its source.


In breeding cattle you need one bull for every twenty-five cows, unless the cows are known sluts.

Montagu Lady M.W.

I have never understood this liking for war. It panders to instincts already catered for within the scope of any respectable domestic establishment.

Montague Charles Edward

[District Attorneys] learn in District Attorney School that there are two sure-fire ways to get a lot of favorable publicity: (1) Go down and raid all the lockers in the local high school and confiscate 53 marijuana cigarettes and put them in a

Montaigne Michel Eyquem de

For courage mounteth with occasion.

Montaigne Michel de

I have a very strange feeling about this...

Montaigne Michel de

The Golden Rule is of no use to you whatever unless you realize it is your move.


Mothers all want their sons to grow up to be President, but they don't want them to become politicians in the process.


It is better to have loved and lost


In this world of sin and sorrow there is always something to be thankful for; as for me, I rejoice that I am not a Republican.

Moore Steven

Diary of a Young Girl LITE(tm)

Moose Bullwinkle

Most Texans think Hanukkah is some sort of duck call.

Moravia Alberto

You may be sure that when a man begins to call himself a "realist," he is preparing to do something he is secretly ashamed of doing.

More Sir Thomas

What you want, what you're hanging around in the world waiting for, is for something to occur to you.

Morgan J.P.

The man who has never been flogged has never been taught.

Morgan J.P.

"Well, it's garish, ugly, and derelicts have used it for a toilet. The rides are dilapidated to the point of being lethal, and could easily maim or kill innocent little children." "Oh, so you don't like it?" "Don't like it? I'm CRAZY for it."

Morgan J.P.

When we are planning for posterity, we ought to remember that virtue is not hereditary.

Morley Christopher

XLI: The more one produces, the less one gets. XLII: Simple systems are not feasible because they require infinite testing. XLIII: Hardware works best when it matters the least. XLIV: Aircraft flight in the 21st century will always be in a we

Morley Christopher

There is no character, howsoever good and fine, but it can be destroyed by ridicule, howsoever poor and witless. Observe the ass, for instance: his character is about perfect, he is the choicest spirit among all the humbler animals, yet see what rid

Morley Christopher

All men know the utility of useful things; but they do not know the utility of futility.

Morley Christopher

Alas, I am dying beyond my means.

Morley John Viscount

If at first you don't succeed, you're doing about average.

Morris William

An Englishman never enjoys himself, except for a noble purpose.


Anyone can hold the helm when the sea is calm.

Moses Robert

A businessman is a hybrid of a dancer and a calculator.

Moses Robert

A furore Normanorum libera nos, O Domine! [From the fury of the norsemen deliver us, O Lord!]

Moss Stirling

The only difference between the saint and the sinner is that every saint has a past and every sinner has a future.

Mostel Zero

I remember when legal used to mean lawful, now it means some kind of loophole.

Mother Karl Marx's

As Gen. de Gaulle occassionally acknowledges America to be the daughter of Europe, so I am pleased to come to Yale, the daughter of Harvard.


Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.


Fill what's empty, empty what's full, scratch where it itches.

Muggeridge Malcolm

Don't tell me how hard you work. Tell me how much you get done.

Mull Martin

Tax reform means "Don't tax you, don't tax me, tax that fellow behind the tree."

Munr H.H.

Perhaps the remembrance of these things will prove a source of future pleasure.

Munro H.H.

The problem with any unwritten law is that you don't know where to go to erase it.

Murray Bill

You can't start worrying about what's going to happen. You get spastic enough worrying about what's happening now.

Muscha Jerry

"Cogito ergo I'm right and you're wrong."

Muskie Senator Edmund

It took a while to surface, but it appears that a long-distance credit card may have saved a U.S. Army unit from heavy casualties during the Grenada military rescue/invasion. Major General David Nichols, Air Force ... said the Army unit was in a hous

Musselman Bill

Political speeches are like steer horns. A point here, a point there, and a lot of bull inbetween.

Musset Alfred De

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Hear me, my chiefs, I am tired; my heart is sick and sad. From where the sun now stands I Will Fight No More Forever.
Perce Chief Joseph

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