If there were a school for, say, sheet metal workers, that after three years left its graduates as unprepared for their careers as does law school, it would be closed down in a minute, and no doubt by lawyers.

A fool's brain digests philosophy into folly, science into superstition, and art into pedantry. Hence University education.

As Gen. de Gaulle occassionally acknowledges America to be the daughter of Europe, so I am pleased to come to Yale, the daughter of Harvard.

If any man wishes to be humbled and mortified, let him become president of Harvard.

Before you ask more questions, think about whether you really want to know the answers.

Pauca sed matura. [Few but excellent.]

It's no surprise that things are so screwed up: everyone that knows how to run a government is either driving taxicabs or cutting hair.

I have a very strange feeling about this...

He was a fiddler, and consequently a rogue.

Nothing is so firmly believed as that which we least know.

"And Bezel saideth unto Sham: `Sham,' he saideth, `Thou shalt goest unto the town of Begorrah, and there thou shalt fetcheth unto thine bosom 35 talents, and also shalt thou fetcheth a like number of cubits, provideth that they are nice and fresh.'"

American business long ago gave up on demanding that prospective employees be honest and hardworking. It has even stopped hoping for employees who are educated enough that they can tell the difference between the men's room and the women's room with

God is Dead.

"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety."

Scratch the average female and you'll find a purring bundle... at the ready to love and honor, bake a torte and still produce quintuplets.

Tallulah Bankhead barged down the Nile last night as Cleopatra and sank.

All the waters of the earth are in the armpit of the Great Frog.

All phone calls are obscene.

They sentenced me to twenty years of boredom for trying to change the system from within. I'm coming now I'm coming to reward them. First we take Manhattan, then we take Berlin. I'm guided by a signal in the heavens. I'm guided by this birthmark

We're constantly being bombarded by insulting and humiliating music, which people are making for you the way they make those Wonder Bread products. Just as food can be bad for your system, music can be bad for your spirtual and emotional feelings. I

A game can by God repent or we'll punish it. That's how they did it in Salem in the seventeenth century, and that's how we'll do it now.

Nitwit ideas are for emergencies. You use them when you've got nothing else to try. If they work, they go in the Book. Otherwise you follow the Book, which is largely a collection of nitwit ideas that worked.

A conservative is a man who believes that nothing should be done for the first time.

The Worst Prison Guards The largest number of convicts ever to escape simultaneously from a maximum security prison is 124. This record is held by Alcoente Prison, near Lisbon in Portugal. During the weeks leading up to the escape in July 1978 th

A morgue is a morgue is a morgue. They can paint the walls with aggressively cheerful primary colors and splashy bold graphics, but it's still a holding place for the dead until they can be parted out to organ banks. Not that I would have cared nor

A society in which women are taught anything but the management of a family, the care of men, and the creation of the future generation is a society which is on its way out.

I owe the public nothing.

A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the word you first thought of.

Superstition, idolatry, and hypocrisy have ample wages, but truth goes a-begging.

The course of true anything never does run smooth.

Don't be humble ... you're not that great.

There is no act of treachery or mean-ness of which a political party is not capable; for in politics there is no honour.

With Congress, every time they make a joke it's a law; and every time they make a law it's a joke.

I go the way that Providence dictates.

"When are you BUTTHEADS gonna learn that you can't oppose Gestapo tactics *with* Gestapo tactics?"

It is not the critic who counts, or how the strong man stumbled, or whether the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives vali

If we can ever make red tape nutritional, we can feed the world.

Save the Whales

It is sweet to let the mind unbend on occasion.

Tempt not a desperate man.

It is better to live rich than to die rich.

Certain passages in several laws have always defied interpretation and the most inexplicable must be a matter of opinion. A judge of the Court of Session of Scotland has sent the editors of this book his candidate which reads, "In the Nuts (unground

Darth Vader! Only you would be so bold!