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Our business in life is not to succeed but to continue to fail in high spirits.

P Harry Thurston

Education is learning what you didn't even know you didn't know.

Pa Long Chen

Or you or I must yield up his life to Ahrimanes. I would rather it were you. I should have no hesitation in sacrificing my own life to spare yours, but we take stock next week, and it would not be fair on the company.

Pa Jessie

It looks like it's up to me to save our skins. Get into that garbage chute, flyboy!

Paar Jack

You knew the job was dangerous when you took it, Fred.

Paar Jack

All this wheeling and dealing around, why, it isn't for money, it's for fun. Money's just the way we keep score.

Paine Thomas

We all live in a state of ambitious poverty.

Paine Thomas

I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter.

Palindromist The Mad

Have you ever stopped to think what it would be like to have a woman President? "I can't deal with the Russians today. Not now. I've got my period."

Parker Dorothy

Flame on!

Parker Dorothy

I understand why you're confused. You're thinking too much.

Parker Dorothy

If happiness is in your destiny, you need not be in a hurry.

Parker Dorothy

Crito, I owe a cock to Asclepius; will you remember to pay the debt?

Parker Dorothy

The only alliance I would make with the Women's Liberation Movement is in bed.

Parker Dorothy

Education and religion are two things not regulated by supply and demand. The less of either the people have, the less they want.

Parker Dorthy

Any two philosophers can tell each other all they know in two hours.

Parker Robert

Hotels are tired of getting ripped off. I checked into a hotel and they had towels from my house.


Who goeth a-borrowing goeth a-sorrowing.

Parkinson C.N.

Where it is a duty to worship the sun it is pretty sure to be a crime to examine the laws of heat.

Parkinson C.N.

Generally speaking, the Way of the warrior is resolute acceptance of death.

Parnas Dave

The time spent on any item of the agenda [of a finance committee] will be in inverse proportion to the sum involved.

Pascal Blaise

The lawgiver, of all beings, most owes the law allegiance. He of all men should behave as though the law compelled him. But it is the universal weakness of mankind that what we are given to administer we presently imagine we own.

Pascal Blaise

At ebb tide I wrote a line upon the sand, and gave it all my heart and all my soul. At flood tide I returned to read what I had inscribed and found my ignorance upon the shore.

Pascal Blaise

There's nothing to writing. All you do is sit at a typewriter and open a vein.

Pasteur L.

The course of true anything never does run smooth.

Pat Cadigan

I value kindness to human beings first of all, and kindness to animals. I don't respect the law; I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger, the food cheaper, and old men

Pat Cadigan

Since everything in life is but an experience perfect in being what it is, having nothing to do with good or bad, acceptance or rejection, one may well burst out in laughter.

Patricia O Tuama

Don't get mad, get even.

Patrick Saint

Plots are like girdles. Hidden, they hold your interest; revealed, they're of no interest except to fetishists. Like girdles, they attempt to contain an uncontainable experience.


I know on which side my bread is buttered.

Paul Erdman

An office party is not, as is sometimes supposed the Managing Director's chance to kiss the tea-girl. It is the tea-girl's chance to kiss the Managing Director (however bizarre an ambition this may seem to anyone who has seen the Managing Director f

Paul Tillich German

To do two things at once is to do neither.

Pelt Lucy Van

Confucius say too much.

Penn Jillette

"Why are we importing all these highbrow plays like `Amadeus'? I could have told you Mozart was a jerk for nothing."

Penn William

With all the talent around, it's sort of amazing that a woman could be up here with us.

Perce Chief Joseph

[District Attorneys] learn in District Attorney School that there are two sure-fire ways to get a lot of favorable publicity: (1) Go down and raid all the lockers in the local high school and confiscate 53 marijuana cigarettes and put them in a

Perelman S.J.

Some performers on television appear to be horrible people, but when you finally get to know them in person, they turn out to be even worse.


When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

Perlis Alan J.

Education is what survives when what has been learnt has been forgotten.

Peter Dr. Laurence J.

The only problem with seeing too much is that it makes you insane.

Peter Dr. Laurence J.

HR 3128. Omnibus Budget Reconciliation, Fiscal 1986. Martin, R-Ill., motion that the House recede from its disagreement to the Senate amendment making changes in the bill to reduce fiscal 1986 deficits. The Senate amendment was an amendment to the

Peter Irene

The major sin is the sin of being born.

Peter Laurence

A woman employs sincerity only when every other form of deception has failed.

Peter Laurence J.

Instead of loving your enemies, treat your friends a little better.

Peter Laurence J.

Even if you do learn to speak correct English, whom are you going to speak it to?

Peter Stack

The primary cause of failure in electrical appliances is an expired warranty. Often, you can get an appliance running again simply by changing the warranty expiration date with a 15/64-inch felt-tipped marker.

Peter Straub

Things are more like they are today than they ever were before.

Petronius Gaius

Sometimes a man who deserves to be looked down upon because he is a fool is despised only because he is a lawyer.


The plot was designed in a light vein that somehow became varicose.


If you are shooting under 80 you are neglecting your business; over 80 you are neglecting your golf.


When a fellow says, "It ain't the money but the principle of the thing," it's the money.

Philip Hale Boston

The human brain is a wonderful thing. It starts working the moment you are born, and never stops until you stand up to speak in public.

Philips Emo

Silence is the element in which great things fashion themselves.

Phillips Emo

I went into a bar feeling a little depressed, the bartender said, "What'll you have, Bud"? I said," I don't know, surprise me". So he showed me a nude picture of my wife.

Phillips Utah

The past always looks better than it was. It's only pleasant because it isn't here.

Physicist John von Neumann

There is no doubt that my lawyer is honest. For example, when he filed his income tax return last year, he declared half of his salary as 'unearned income.'


He that composes himself is wiser than he that composes a book.


If your happiness depends on what somebody else does, I guess you do have a problem.

Picasso Pablo

"Given the choice between accomplishing something and just lying around, I'd rather lie around. No contest."

Pike Bishop James

If you lose a son you can always get another, but there's only one Maltese Falcon.

Pile Stephen

Luck can't last a lifetime, unless you die young.

Pile Stephen

Then, gently touching my face, she hesitated for a moment as her incredible eyes poured forth into mine love, joy, pain, tragedy, acceptance, and peace. "'Bye for now," she said warmly.

Pile Stephen

Well, he thought, since neither Aristotelian Logic nor the disciplines of Science seemed to offer much hope, it's time to go beyond them... Drawing a few deep even breaths, he entered a mental state practiced only by Masters of the Universal Way of

Pile Stephen

You're all clear now, kid. Now blow this thing so we can all go home.

Pile Stephen

One of your most ancient writers, a historian named Herodotus, tells of a thief who was to be executed. As he was taken away he made a bargain with the king: in one year he would teach the king's favorite horse to sing hymns. The other prisoners wa


The most costly of all follies is to believe passionately in the palpably not true. It is the chief occupation of mankind.


Let's say your wedding ring falls into your toaster, and when you stick your hand in to retrieve it, you suffer Pain and Suffering as well as Mental Anguish. You would sue: * The toaster manufacturer, for failure to include, in the instructions

Pinero Sir Arthur Wing

By perseverance the snail reached the Ark.

Pintauro Joseph

The first rule of all intelligent tinkering is to keep all the parts.

Pirsig Robert

I love treason but hate a traitor.

Platford Lois

Beggars should be no choosers.


American business long ago gave up on demanding that prospective employees be honest and hardworking. It has even stopped hoping for employees who are educated enough that they can tell the difference between the men's room and the women's room with


Don't guess


The problem that we thought was a problem was, indeed, a problem, but not the problem we thought was the problem.


It is a sobering thought that when Mozart was my age, he had been dead for two years.


All phone calls are obscene.


Here's to women. Would that we could fall into her arms without falling into her hands.

Plautus Titus Maccius

The day advanced as if to light some work of mine; it was morning, and lo! now it is evening, and nothing memorable is accomplished.

Plautus Titus Maccius

A violent man will die a violent death.

Plautus Titus Maccius

A little inaccuracy sometimes saves tons of explanation.

Player Willis

The ratio of literacy to illiteracy is a constant, but nowadays the illiterates can read.


"The jig's up, Elman." "Which jig?"

Plummer Christopher

Zero Mostel: That's it baby! When you got it, flaunt it! Flaunt it!


I need another lawyer like I need another hole in my head.

Pollard John G.

Nothing matters very much, and few things matter at all.


Do not use that foreign word "ideals". We have that excellent native word "lies".


Mum's the word.

Pope Alexander

A priest asked: What is Fate, Master? And the Master answered: It is that which gives a beast of burden its reason for existence. It is that which men in former times had to bear upon their backs. It is that which has caused nations to build bywa

Pope Alexander

Remembering is for those who have forgotten.

Pope John Paul

If a jury in a criminal trial stays out for more than twenty-four hours, it is certain to vote acquittal, save in those instances where it votes guilty.

Pope St. Gregory

The world is your exercise-book, the pages on which you do your sums. It is not reality, although you can express reality there if you wish. You are also free to write nonsense, or lies, or to tear the pages.

Poppins Mary

Ask not for whom the Bell tolls, and you will pay only the station-to-station rate.

Postmas James

A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.

Pournelle Niven and

When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.

Powers Richard

The final delusion is the belief that one has lost all delusions.

Prabhupada Swami

It is when I struggle to be brief that I become obscure.

Prentice George D.

The Worst Musical Trio There are few bad musicians who have a chance to give a recital at a famous concert hall while still learning the rudiments of their instrument. This happened about thirty years ago to the son of a Rumanian gentleman who was

President Pat Paulsen for

When you are at Rome live in the Roman style; when you are elsewhere live as they live elsewhere.

Presley Elvis

Love may laugh at locksmiths, but he has a profound respect for money bags.

Presley Elvis

Necessity hath no law.

Price Don

A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.

Prochnow Herbert

A society in which women are taught anything but the management of a family, the care of men, and the creation of the future generation is a society which is on its way out.

Prochnow Herbert V.

None love the bearer of bad news.

Professor English

Sho' they got to have it against the law. Shoot, ever'body git high, they wouldn't be nobody git up and feed the chickens. Hee-hee.

Prosser D. Winkel and F.

Three minutes' thought would suffice to find this out; but thought is irksome and three minutes is a long time.


VI: A hungry dog hunts best. A hungrier dog hunts even better. VII: Decreased business base increases overhead. So does increased business base. VIII: The most unsuccessful four years in the education of a cost-estimator is fifth grade ari

Proust M.

Education is the process of casting false pearls before real swine.

Proverb A Yippie

A furore Normanorum libera nos, O Domine! [From the fury of the norsemen deliver us, O Lord!]

Proverb Ancient Simian

For certain people, after fifty, litigation takes the place of sex.

Proverb Chinese

Doctors and lawyers must go to school for years and years, often with little sleep and with great sacrifice to their first wives.

Proverb Chinese

But the greatest Electrical Pioneer of them all was Thomas Edison, who was a brilliant inventor despite the fact that he had little formal education and lived in New Jersey. Edison's first major invention in 1877, was the phonograph, which could soo

Proverb Recent Chinese

Beware of all enterprises that require new clothes, and not rather a new wearer of clothes.

Pryne Hester

If a fool persists in his folly he shall become wise.


A sinking ship gathers no moss.


You have to run as fast as you can just to stay where you are. If you want to get anywhere, you'll have to run much faster.

Publius Ovidius Naso

Plumbing is one of the easier of do-it-yourself activities, requiring only a few simple tools and a willingness to stick your arm into a clogged toilet. In fact, you can solve many home plumbing problems, such as annoying faucet drip, merely by tur

Publius Terentius Afer

The coast was clear.

Publius Terentius Afer

The future is a race between education and catastrophe.

Publius Terentius Afer

The chief enemy of creativity is "good" sense

Publius Terentius Afer

A highly intelligent man should take a primitive woman. Imagine if on top of everything else, I had a woman who interfered with my work.

Publius Vergilius Maro

Many hands make light work.

Publius Vergilius Maro

Writing about music is like dancing about architecture.

Publius Vergilius Maro

Executive ability is deciding quickly and getting somebody else to do the work.

Publius Vergilius Maro

To lead people, you must follow behind.

Pudd'nhead Wilson's

Dignity is like a flag. It flaps in a storm.

Pulitzer Joseph

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.

Pusey Nathan

Working with Julie Andrews is like getting hit over the head with a valentine.


Diary of a Young Girl LITE(tm)

Python Monty

... but as records of courts and justice are admissible, it can easily be proved that powerful and malevolent magicians once existed and were a scourge to mankind. The evidence (including confession) upon which certain women were convicted of witch

prayer Medieval

Indeed, the first noble truth of Buddhism, usually translated as `all life is suffering,' is more accurately rendered `life is filled with a sense of pervasive unsatisfactoriness.'

proverb Arab

Any philosophy that can be put "in a nutshell" belongs there.

proverb Arabian

CF&C stole it, fair and square.

proverb Chinese

What a bonanza! An unknown beginner to be directed by Lubitsch, in a script by Wilder and Brackett, and to play with Paramount's two superstars, Gary Cooper and Claudette Colbert, and to be beaten up by both of them!

proverb Chinese

Set the cart before the horse.

proverb Chinese

Money can't buy love, but it improves your bargaining position.

proverb Chinese

I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday and I love today.

proverb Chinese

"You mean, if you allow the master to be uncivil, to treat you any old way he likes, and to insult your dignity, then he may deem you fit to hear his view of things?" "Quite the contrary. You must defend your integrity, assuming you have integrit

proverb Chinese

My religion consists of a humble admiration of the illimitable superior spirit who reveals himself in the slight details we are able to perceive with our frail and feeble mind.

proverb Chinese

The man-hating woman, like the cold woman, is largely imaginary. She is simply a woman who has done her best to snare a man and has failed.

proverb Indian

If you want to know what god thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.

proverb Italian

Seize the day, put no trust in the morrow!

proverb Polish

We were so poor we couldn't afford a watchdog. If we heard a noise at night, we'd bark ourselves.

proverb Spanish

The trouble with opportunity is that it always comes disguised as hard work.

proverb Turkish

Honesty's the best policy.

proverb. Scottish

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