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War hath no fury like a non-combatant.

P Harry Thurston

"Cogito ergo I'm right and you're wrong."

Pa Long Chen

Don't get mad, get even.

Pa Jessie

The hater of property and of government takes care to have his warranty deed recorded, and the book written against fame and learning has the author's name on the title page.

Paar Jack

Like, if I'm not for me, then fer shure, like who will be? And if, y'know, if I'm not like fer anyone else, then hey, I mean, what am I? And if not now, like I dunno, maybe like when? And if not Who, then I dunno, maybe like the Rolling Stones?

Paar Jack

Exxon's 'Universe of Energy' tends to the peculiar rather than the humorous ... After [an incomprehensible film montage about wind and sun and rain and strip mines and] two or three minutes of mechanical confusion, the seats locomote through a short

Paine Thomas

Getting into trouble is easy.

Paine Thomas

There is no proverb that is not true.

Palindromist The Mad

You shouldn't wallow in self-pity. But it's OK to put your feet in it and swish them around a little.

Parker Dorothy

Don't be humble ... you're not that great.

Parker Dorothy

Once there lived a village of creatures along the bottom of a great crystal river. Each creature in its own manner clung tightly to the twigs and rocks of the river bottom, for clinging was their way of life, and resisting the current what each had

Parker Dorothy

It is by the fortune of God that, in this country, we have three benefits: freedom of speech, freedom of thought, and the wisdom never to use either.

Parker Dorothy

A racially integrated community is a chronological term timed from the entrance of the first black family to the exit of the last white family.

Parker Dorothy

If there were a school for, say, sheet metal workers, that after three years left its graduates as unprepared for their careers as does law school, it would be closed down in a minute, and no doubt by lawyers.

Parker Dorothy

"Remember, if it's being done correctly, here or abroad, it's ___not the U.S. Army doing it!"

Parker Dorthy

Next to being shot at and missed, nothing is really quite as satisfying as an income tax refund.

Parker Robert

We'll try to cooperate fully with the IRS, because, as citizens, we feel a strong patriotic duty not to go to jail.


"She said, `I know you ... you cannot sing'. I said, `That's nothing, you should hear me play piano.'"

Parkinson C.N.

Veni, vidi, vici. [I came, I saw, I conquered].

Parkinson C.N.

The Army has carried the American ... ideal to its logical conclusion. Not only do they prohibit discrimination on the grounds of race, creed and color, but also on ability.

Parnas Dave

Human resources are human first, and resources second.

Pascal Blaise

A free society is one where it is safe to be unpopular.

Pascal Blaise

Have a place for everything and keep the thing somewhere else; this is not advice, it is merely custom.

Pascal Blaise

The horizon of many people is a circle with a radius of zero. They call this their point of view.

Pasteur L.

I am not a politician and my other habits are also good.

Pat Cadigan

If you have to ask what jazz is, you'll never know.

Pat Cadigan

We all live under the same sky, but we don't all have the same horizon.

Patricia O Tuama

New York now leads the world's great cities in the number of people around whom you shouldn't make a sudden move.

Patrick Saint

Men of lofty genius when they are doing the least work are most active.


The [Ford Foundation] is a large body of money completely surrounded by people who want some.

Paul Erdman

The IRS spends God knows how much of your tax money on these toll-free information hot lines staffed by IRS employees, whose idea of a dynamite tax tip is that you should print neatly. If you ask them a real tax question, such as how you can cheat,

Paul Tillich German

Politics is the ability to foretell what is going to happen tomorrow, next week, next month and next year. And to have the ability afterwards to explain why it didn't happen.

Pelt Lucy Van

The superior man understands what is right; the inferior man understands what will sell.

Penn Jillette

... Our second completely true news item was sent to me by Mr. H. Boyce Connell Jr. of Atlanta, Ga., where he is involved in a law firm. One thing I like about the South is, folks there care about tradition. If somebody gets handed a name like "H.

Penn William

Seeing that death, a necessary end, Will come when it will come.

Perce Chief Joseph

Any philosophy that can be put "in a nutshell" belongs there.

Perelman S.J.

Sho' they got to have it against the law. Shoot, ever'body git high, they wouldn't be nobody git up and feed the chickens. Hee-hee.


Let me take you a button-hole lower.

Perlis Alan J.

"...The name of the song is called 'Haddocks' Eyes'!" "Oh, that's the name of the song, is it?" Alice said, trying to feel interested. "No, you don't understand," the Knight said, looking a little vexed. "That's what the name is called. The nam

Peter Dr. Laurence J.

Nobody shot me.

Peter Dr. Laurence J.

When alerted to an intrusion by tinkling glass or otherwise, 1) Calm yourself 2) Identify the intruder 3) If hostile, kill him. Step number 3 is of particular importance. If you leave the guy alive out of misguided softheartedness, he will repay y

Peter Irene

Sho' they got to have it against the law. Shoot, ever'body git high, they wouldn't be nobody git up and feed the chickens. Hee-hee.

Peter Laurence

God is Dead.

Peter Laurence J.

Hollywood is where if you don't have happiness you send out for it.

Peter Laurence J.

A prisoner of war is a man who tries to kill you and fails, and then asks you not to kill him.

Peter Stack

"A Mormon is a man that has the bad taste and the religion to do what a good many other people are restrained from doing by conscientious scruples and the police."

Peter Straub

When there are two conflicting versions of the story, the wise course is to believe the one in which people appear at their worst.

Petronius Gaius

The Least Successful Executions History has furnished us with two executioners worthy of attention. The first performed in Sydney in Australia. In 1803 three attempts were made to hang a Mr. Joseph Samuels. On the first two of these the rope snap


[Americans] are a race of convicts and ought to be thankful for anything we allow them short of hanging.


There are two kinds of pedestrians... the quick and the dead.


Time goes, you say? Ah no! Time stays, *we* go.

Philip Hale Boston

You got to be very careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there.

Philips Emo

When a place gets crowded enough to require ID's, social collapse is not far away. It is time to go elsewhere. The best thing about space travel is that it made it possible to go elsewhere.

Phillips Emo

Given a choice between grief and nothing, I'd choose grief.

Phillips Utah

We lie loudest when we lie to ourselves.

Physicist John von Neumann

The human brain is a wonderful thing. It starts working the moment you are born, and never stops until you stand up to speak in public.


The universe is made of stories, not of atoms.


I don't mind what Congress does, as long as they don't do it in the streets and frighten the horses.

Picasso Pablo

In the plot, people came to the land; the land loved them; they worked and struggled and had lots of children. There was a Frenchman who talked funny and a greenhorn from England who was a fancy-pants but when it came to the crunch he was all courag

Pike Bishop James

To restore a sense of reality, I think Walt Disney should have a Hardluckland.

Pile Stephen

When we jumped into Sicily, the units became separated, and I couldn't find anyone. Eventually I stumbled across two colonels, a major, three captains, two lieutenants, and one rifleman, and we secured the bridge. Never in the history of war have s

Pile Stephen

The USA is so enormous, and so numerous are its schools, colleges and religious seminaries, many devoted to special religious beliefs ranging from the unorthodox to the dotty, that we can hardly wonder at its yielding a more bounteous harvest of gobb

Pile Stephen

I've got Hubert's pecker in my pocket.

Pile Stephen

Don't tell me how hard you work. Tell me how much you get done.

Pile Stephen

I would like the government to do all it can to mitigate, then, in understanding, in mutuality of interest, in concern for the common good, our tasks will be solved.


There is nothing new except what has been forgotten.


I would not like to be a political leader in Russia. They never know when they're being taped.

Pinero Sir Arthur Wing

You probably wouldn't worry about what people think of you if you could know how seldom they do.

Pintauro Joseph

God help those who do not help themselves.

Pirsig Robert

Many a sober Christian would rather admit that a wafer is God than that God is a cruel and capricious tyrant.

Platford Lois

Seize the day, put no trust in the morrow!


The sooner you make your first 5000 mistakes, the sooner you will be able to correct them.


An ounce of mother is worth a ton of priest.


An atom-blaster is a good weapon, but it can point both ways.


The last thing one knows in constructing a work is what to put first.


You can no more win a war than you can win an earthquake.


Everything takes longer, costs more, and is less useful.

Plautus Titus Maccius

The difference between sentiment and being sentimental is the following: Sentiment is when a driver swerves out of the way to avoid hitting a rabbit on the road. Being sentimental is when the same driver, when swerving away from the rabbit hits a pe

Plautus Titus Maccius

There are people so addicted to exaggeration that they can't tell the truth without lying.

Plautus Titus Maccius

The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.

Player Willis

It is so stupid of modern civilisation to have given up believing in the devil when he is the only explanation of it.


You can destroy your now by worrying about tomorrow.

Plummer Christopher

Once the toothpaste is out of the tube, it's hard to get it back in.


Another such victory over the Romans, and we are undone.

Pollard John G.

It is easier to be a "humanitarian" than to render your own country its proper due; it is easier to be a "patriot" than to make your community a better place to live in; it is easier to be a "civic leader" than to treat your own family with loving un


To say you got a vote of confidence would be to say you needed a vote of confidence.


Nonsense and beauty have close connections.

Pope Alexander

... but as records of courts and justice are admissible, it can easily be proved that powerful and malevolent magicians once existed and were a scourge to mankind. The evidence (including confession) upon which certain women were convicted of witch

Pope Alexander

The white race is the cancer of history.

Pope John Paul

Unknown person(s) stole the American flag from its pole in Etra Park sometime between 3pm Jan 17 and 11:30 am Jan 20. The flag is described as red, white and blue, having 50 stars and was valued at $40.

Pope St. Gregory

If we see the light at the end of the tunnel, it's the light of an oncoming train.

Poppins Mary

Whenever I hear anyone arguing for slavery, I feel a strong impulse to see it tried on him personally.

Postmas James

One of the lessons of history is that nothing is often a good thing to do and always a clever thing to say.

Pournelle Niven and

Having the fewest wants, I am nearest to the gods.

Powers Richard

If your happiness depends on what somebody else does, I guess you do have a problem.

Prabhupada Swami

I'd just as soon kiss a Wookie.

Prentice George D.

I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.

President Pat Paulsen for

Oh, I don't blame Congress. If I had $600 billion at my disposal, I'd be irresponsible, too.

Presley Elvis

Telling the truth to people who misunderstand you is generally promoting a falsehood, isn't it?

Presley Elvis

Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do. Play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do.

Price Don

Why was I born with such contemporaries?

Prochnow Herbert

A society in which women are taught anything but the management of a family, the care of men, and the creation of the future generation is a society which is on its way out.

Prochnow Herbert V.

Immigration is the sincerest form of flattery.

Professor English

Imitation is the sincerest form of television.

Prosser D. Winkel and F.

In any country there must be people who have to die. They are the sacrifices any nation has to make to achieve law and order.


The proof of the pudding is in the eating.

Proust M.

"It's kind of fun to do the impossible."

Proverb A Yippie

In charity there is no excess.

Proverb Ancient Simian

What we cannot speak about we must pass over in silence.

Proverb Chinese

The whole religious complexion of the modern world is due to the absence from Jerusalem of a lunatic asylum.

Proverb Chinese

That's where the money was.

Proverb Recent Chinese

For every bloke who makes his mark, there's half a dozen waiting to rub it out.

Pryne Hester

To be excellent when engaged in administration is to be like the North Star. As it remains in its one position, all the other stars surround it.


A commune is where people join together to share their lack of wealth.


In the first place, God made idiots; this was for practice; then he made school boards.

Publius Ovidius Naso

Three minutes' thought would suffice to find this out; but thought is irksome and three minutes is a long time.

Publius Terentius Afer

If Christianity was morality, Socrates would be the Saviour.

Publius Terentius Afer

Free Speech Is The Right To Shout 'Theater' In A Crowded Fire.

Publius Terentius Afer

If we can ever make red tape nutritional, we can feed the world.

Publius Terentius Afer

Something unpleasant is coming when men are anxious to tell the truth.

Publius Vergilius Maro

Nothing endures but change.

Publius Vergilius Maro

Everlasting peace will come to the world when the last man has slain the last but one.

Publius Vergilius Maro

For a light heart lives long.

Publius Vergilius Maro

Like ya know? Rock 'N Roll is an esoteric language that unlocks the creativity chambers in people's brains, and like totally activates their essential hipness, which of course is like totally necessary for saving the earth, like because the first th

Pudd'nhead Wilson's

"I'd like to start a new religion. One that doesn't use a dead young man as its logo."

Pulitzer Joseph

"There is a God, but He drinks"

Pusey Nathan

Alexander Hamilton started the U.S. Treasury with nothing - and that was the closest our country has ever been to being even.


Once I belonged to a group that really had THE WORD. I fought like hell for them. But another group came along and exposed the word of my group as shallow and degenerate. They had a better word. So I quit the first group and lost all the friends

Python Monty

A political man can have as his aim the realization of freedom, but he has no means to realize it other than through violence.

prayer Medieval

The brotherhood of man is not a mere poet's dream; it is a most depressing and humiliating reality.

proverb Arab

It's very glamorous to raise millions of dollars, until it's time for the venture capitalist to suck your eyeballs out.

proverb Arabian

"Go on, girl! You'll never get a better chance to buy Jif at this price. *Carpe diem*, babe!"

proverb Chinese

The term "fire" brings up visions of violence and mayhem and the ugly scene of shooting employees who make mistakes. We will now refer to this process as "deleting" an employee (much as a file is deleted from a disk). The employee is simply there o

proverb Chinese

My rackets are run on strictly American lines, and they're going to stay that way.

proverb Chinese

God shows his contempt for wealth by the kind of person he selects to receive it.

proverb Chinese

If you don't strike oil in twenty minutes, stop boring.

proverb Chinese

Men will fuck mud.

proverb Chinese

There's nothing in the middle of the road but yellow stripes and dead armadillos.

proverb Chinese

While there's life, there's hope.

proverb Indian

It's our fault. We should have given him better parts.

proverb Italian

If the path be beautiful, let us not ask where it leads.

proverb Polish

XLI: The more one produces, the less one gets. XLII: Simple systems are not feasible because they require infinite testing. XLIII: Hardware works best when it matters the least. XLIV: Aircraft flight in the 21st century will always be in a we

proverb Spanish

Competence, like truth, beauty, and contact lenses, is in the eye of the beholder.

proverb Turkish

Save a little money each month and at the end of the year you'll be surprised at how little you have.

proverb. Scottish

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Sorry 'bout that sweat, honey. That's just holy water.
Richard Little

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