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Some men are heterosexual, and some are bisexual, and some men don't think about sex at all... they become lawyers.

P Harry Thurston

A man's house is his castle.

Pa Long Chen

Here's to women. Would that we could fall into her arms without falling into her hands.

Pa Jessie

Pauca sed matura. [Few but excellent.]

Paar Jack

God help those who do not help themselves.

Paar Jack

The plot was designed in a light vein that somehow became varicose.

Paine Thomas

Mike: "The Fourth Dimension is a shambles?" Bernie: "Nobody ever empties the ashtrays. People are SO inconsiderate."

Paine Thomas

Most general statements are false, including this one.

Palindromist The Mad

Doubt isn't the opposite of faith; it is an element of faith.

Parker Dorothy

Don't get mad, get even.

Parker Dorothy

What you want, what you're hanging around in the world waiting for, is for something to occur to you.

Parker Dorothy

For fools rush in where angels fear to tread.

Parker Dorothy

A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.

Parker Dorothy

No man is an Iland, intire of it selfe; every man is a peece of the Continent, a part of the maine; if a Clod bee washed away by the Sea, Europe is the lesse, as well as if a Promontorie were, as well as if a Mannor of thy friends or of thine owne we

Parker Dorothy

I value kindness to human beings first of all, and kindness to animals. I don't respect the law; I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger, the food cheaper, and old men

Parker Dorthy

It is sweet to let the mind unbend on occasion.

Parker Robert

Two heads are better than one.


Lassie looked brilliant, in part because the farm family she lived with was made up of idiots. Remember? One of them was always getting pinned under the tractor, and Lassie was always rushing back to the farmhouse to alert the other ones. She'd w

Parkinson C.N.

It is better to have loved and lost

Parkinson C.N.

An atom-blaster is a good weapon, but it can point both ways.

Parnas Dave

Man is the measure of all things.

Pascal Blaise

The course of true anything never does run smooth.

Pascal Blaise

Executive ability is deciding quickly and getting somebody else to do the work.

Pascal Blaise

An aphorism is never exactly true; it is either a half-truth or one-and-a-half truths.

Pasteur L.

Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.

Pat Cadigan

A highly intelligent man should take a primitive woman. Imagine if on top of everything else, I had a woman who interfered with my work.

Pat Cadigan

The lawgiver, of all beings, most owes the law allegiance. He of all men should behave as though the law compelled him. But it is the universal weakness of mankind that what we are given to administer we presently imagine we own.

Patricia O Tuama

Genius is pain.

Patrick Saint

The optimist thinks that this is the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist knows it.


"Hey, Sam, how about a loan?" "Whattaya need?" "Oh, about $500." "Whattaya got for collateral?" "Whattaya need?" "How about an eye?"

Paul Erdman

For every bloke who makes his mark, there's half a dozen waiting to rub it out.

Paul Tillich German

When the English language gets in my way, I walk over it.

Pelt Lucy Van

It was a female that drove me to drink and I didn't even have the kindness to thank her.

Penn Jillette

Home is where the hurt is.

Penn William

Housework can kill you if done right.

Perce Chief Joseph

What we cannot speak about we must pass over in silence.

Perelman S.J.

Progress might have been all right once, but it's gone on too long.


Gauls! We have nothing to fear; except perhaps that the sky may fall on our heads tomorrow. But as we all know, tomorrow never comes!!

Perlis Alan J.

Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig.

Peter Dr. Laurence J.

So you think that money is the root of all evil. Have you ever asked what is the root of money?

Peter Dr. Laurence J.

If we don't survive, we don't do anything else.

Peter Irene

Real wealth can only increase.

Peter Laurence

It is your concern when your neighbor's wall is on fire.

Peter Laurence J.

Ignorance is never out of style. It was in fashion yesterday, it is the rage today, and it will set the pace tomorrow.

Peter Laurence J.

Sweet April showers do spring May flowers.

Peter Stack

Campus sidewalks never exist as the straightest line between two points.

Peter Straub

Just because everything is different doesn't mean anything has changed.

Petronius Gaius

Either I'm dead or my watch has stopped.


No poet or novelist wishes he was the only one who ever lived, but most of them wish they were the only one alive, and quite a number fondly believe their wish has been granted.


The world is your exercise-book, the pages on which you do your sums. It is not reality, although you can express reality there if you wish. You are also free to write nonsense, or lies, or to tear the pages.


The confusion of a staff member is measured by the length of his memos.

Philip Hale Boston

Never look a gift horse in the mouth.

Philips Emo

Good government never depends upon laws, but upon the personal qualities of those who govern. The machinery of government is always subordinate to the will of those who administer that machinery. The most important element of government, therefore,

Phillips Emo

All hope abandon, ye who enter here!

Phillips Utah

A journey of a thousand miles starts under one's feet.

Physicist John von Neumann

Laws are like sausages. It's better not to see them being made.


Nasrudin returned to his village from the imperial capital, and the villagers gathered around to hear what had passed. "At this time," said Nasrudin, "I only want to say that the King spoke to me." All the villagers but the stupidest ran off to spr


Never have so many understood so little about so much.

Picasso Pablo

Rascal, am I? Take THAT!

Pike Bishop James

It is only the man whose intellect is clouded by his sexual impulse that could give the name of the fair sex to that undersized, narrow-shouldered, broad-hipped, and short-legged race.

Pile Stephen

That Xanthippe's husband should have become so great a philosopher is remarkable. Amid all the scolding, to be able to think! But he could not write: that was impossible. Socrates has not left us a single book.

Pile Stephen

The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it.

Pile Stephen

Without adventure, civilization is in full decay.

Pile Stephen

This is an especially good time for you vacationers who plan to fly, because the Reagan administration, as part of the same policy under which it recently sold Yellowstone National Park to Wayne Newton, has "deregulated" the airline industry. What t

Pile Stephen

Among all savage beasts, none is found so harmful as woman.


One man's brain plus one other will produce one half as many ideas as one man would have produced alone. These two plus two more will produce half again as many ideas. These four plus four more begin to represent a creative meeting, and the ratio c


My religion consists of a humble admiration of the illimitable superior spirit who reveals himself in the slight details we are able to perceive with our frail and feeble mind.

Pinero Sir Arthur Wing

I just got off the phone with Sonny Barger [President of the Hell's Angels]. He wants me to appear as a character witness for him at his murder trial and said he'd be glad to appear as a character witness on my behalf if I ever needed one. Needless

Pintauro Joseph

Please try to limit the amount of "this room doesn't have any bazingas" until you are told that those rooms are "punched out." Once punched out, we have a right to complain about atrocities, missing bazingas, and such.

Pirsig Robert

There is a good deal of solemn cant about the common interests of capital and labour. As matters stand, their only common interest is that of cutting each other's throat.

Platford Lois

Nothing endures but change.


Once harm has been done, even a fool understands it.


Instead of loving your enemies, treat your friends a little better.


I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.


It's not easy, being green.


A woman's a woman until the day she dies, but a man's only a man as long as he can.


Any road followed to its end leads precisely nowhere. Climb the mountain just a little to test it's a mountain. From the top of the mountain, you cannot see the mountain.

Plautus Titus Maccius

The absurd is the essential concept and the first truth.

Plautus Titus Maccius

Nothing will ever be attempted if all possible objections must be first overcome.

Plautus Titus Maccius

We have nowhere else to go... this is all we have.

Player Willis

If I were a grave-digger or even a hangman, there are some people I could work for with a great deal of enjoyment.


Divorce is a game played by lawyers.

Plummer Christopher

A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.


Arrakis teaches the attitude of the knife - chopping off what's incomplete and saying: "Now it's complete because it's ended here."

Pollard John G.

Nice guys finish last.


All this wheeling and dealing around, why, it isn't for money, it's for fun. Money's just the way we keep score.


XXI: It's easy to get a loan unless you need it. XXII: If stock market experts were so expert, they would be buying stock, not selling advice. XXIII: Any task can be completed in only one-third more time than is currently estimated. XXIV:

Pope Alexander

It's pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness; poverty and wealth have both failed.

Pope Alexander

Generally speaking, the Way of the warrior is resolute acceptance of death.

Pope John Paul

Some scholars are like donkeys, they merely carry a lot of books.

Pope St. Gregory

Marijuana will be legal some day, because the many law students who now smoke pot will someday become congressmen and legalize it in order to protect themselves.

Poppins Mary

'Scuse me, while I kiss the sky!

Postmas James

You can get much further with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.

Pournelle Niven and

The only "ism" Hollywood believes in is plagiarism.

Powers Richard

Kindness is the beginning of cruelty.

Prabhupada Swami

A definition of teaching: casting fake pearls before real swine.

Prentice George D.

per year.

President Pat Paulsen for

Or you or I must yield up his life to Ahrimanes. I would rather it were you. I should have no hesitation in sacrificing my own life to spare yours, but we take stock next week, and it would not be fair on the company.

Presley Elvis

[District Attorneys] learn in District Attorney School that there are two sure-fire ways to get a lot of favorable publicity: (1) Go down and raid all the lockers in the local high school and confiscate 53 marijuana cigarettes and put them in a

Presley Elvis

You or I must yield up his life to Ahrimanes. I would rather it were you. I should have no hesitation in sacrificing my own life to spare yours, but we take stock next week, and it would not be fair on the company.

Price Don

Circumstances rule men; men do not rule circumstances.

Prochnow Herbert

Too much of everything is just enough.

Prochnow Herbert V.

Praise the sea; on shore remain.

Professor English

Would that my hand were as swift as my tongue.

Prosser D. Winkel and F.

Think sideways!


If a thing's worth having, it's worth cheating for.

Proust M.

Silence is the element in which great things fashion themselves.

Proverb A Yippie

Burnt Sienna. That's the best thing that ever happened to Crayolas.

Proverb Ancient Simian

Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths good theatre.

Proverb Chinese

Charity begins at home.

Proverb Chinese

He that bringeth a present, findeth the door open.

Proverb Recent Chinese

Two can Live as Cheaply as One for Half as Long.

Pryne Hester

There's no justice in this world.


Marijuana will be legal some day, because the many law students who now smoke pot will someday become congressmen and legalize it in order to protect themselves.


He that teaches himself has a fool for a master.

Publius Ovidius Naso

The future is a race between education and catastrophe.

Publius Terentius Afer

My advice to you, my violent friend, is to seek out gold and sit on it.

Publius Terentius Afer

For myself, I can only say that I am astonished and somewhat terrified at the results of this evening's experiments. Astonished at the wonderful power you have developed, and terrified at the thought that so much hideous and bad music may be put on

Publius Terentius Afer

If there were a school for, say, sheet metal workers, that after three years left its graduates as unprepared for their careers as does law school, it would be closed down in a minute, and no doubt by lawyers.

Publius Terentius Afer

The meek shall inherit the earth, but *not* its mineral rights.

Publius Vergilius Maro

If the English language made any sense, lackadaisical would have something to do with a shortage of flowers.

Publius Vergilius Maro

Practical people would be more practical if they would take a little more time for dreaming.

Publius Vergilius Maro

She applies her lipstick in spite of its contents: "greasy rouge, containing crushed and dried insect corpses for coloring, beeswax for stiffness, and olive oil to help it flow - the latter having the unfortunate tendency to go rancid several hours a

Publius Vergilius Maro

You have to run as fast as you can just to stay where you are. If you want to get anywhere, you'll have to run much faster.

Pudd'nhead Wilson's

Fame lost its appeal for me when I went into a public restroom and an autograph seeker handed me a pen and paper under the stall door.

Pulitzer Joseph

Well, the handwriting is on the floor.

Pusey Nathan

In spite of everything, I still believe that people are good at heart.


Before he became a hermit, Zarathud was a young Priest, and took great delight in making fools of his opponents in front of his followers. One day Zarathud took his students to a pleasant pasture and there he confronted The Sacred Chao while She

Python Monty

I never cheated an honest man, only rascals. They wanted something for nothing. I gave them nothing for something.

prayer Medieval

No problem is so formidable that you can't just walk away from it.

proverb Arab

The best you get is an even break.

proverb Arabian

No good deed goes unpunished.

proverb Chinese

All men know the utility of useful things; but they do not know the utility of futility.

proverb Chinese

This novel is not to be tossed lightly aside, but to be hurled with great force.

proverb Chinese

If you catch a man, throw him back.

proverb Chinese

Never buy from a rich salesman.

proverb Chinese

I value kindness to human beings first of all, and kindness to animals. I don't respect the law; I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger, the food cheaper, and old men

proverb Chinese

Imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality.

proverb Chinese

Some people say a front-engine car handles best. Some people say a rear-engine car handles best. I say a rented car handles best.

proverb Indian

Happiness isn't something you experience; it's something you remember.

proverb Italian

One big pile is better than two little piles.

proverb Polish

We can embody the truth, but we cannot know it.

proverb Spanish

If it were thought that anything I wrote was influenced by Robert Frost, I would take that particular work of mine, shred it, and flush it down the toilet, hoping not to clog the pipes. A more sententious, holding- forth old bore who expected every

proverb Turkish

There is much Obi-Wan did not tell you.

proverb. Scottish

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Heroi Stephen Pile

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