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Dying is easy. Comedy is difficult.

P Harry Thurston

There is always something new out of Africa.

Pa Long Chen

One good turn deserves another.

Pa Jessie

Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths good theatre.

Paar Jack

XLI: The more one produces, the less one gets. XLII: Simple systems are not feasible because they require infinite testing. XLIII: Hardware works best when it matters the least. XLIV: Aircraft flight in the 21st century will always be in a we

Paar Jack

The sunlights differ, but there is only one darkness.

Paine Thomas

The means-and-ends moralists, or non-doers, always end up on their ends without any means.

Paine Thomas

A critic is a bundle of biases held loosely together by a sense of taste.

Palindromist The Mad

A commune is where people join together to share their lack of wealth.

Parker Dorothy

Burnt Sienna. That's the best thing that ever happened to Crayolas.

Parker Dorothy

A woman's a woman until the day she dies, but a man's only a man as long as he can.

Parker Dorothy

No is no negative in a woman's mouth.

Parker Dorothy

Once harm has been done, even a fool understands it.

Parker Dorothy

A man gazing at the stars is proverbially at the mercy of the puddles in the road.

Parker Dorothy

Traveling through hyperspace isn't like dusting crops, boy.

Parker Dorthy

(1) Avoid fried meats which angry up the blood. (2) If your stomach antagonizes you, pacify it with cool thoughts. (3) Keep the juices flowing by jangling around gently as you move. (4) Go very lightly on the vices, such as carrying on in society, as

Parker Robert

What an artist dies with me!


After the game the king and the pawn go in the same box.

Parkinson C.N.

Progress was all right. Only it went on too long.

Parkinson C.N.

Who does not trust enough will not be trusted.

Parnas Dave

Life is the living you do, Death is the living you don't do.

Pascal Blaise

I was part of that strange race of people aptly described as spending their lives doing things they detest to make money they don't want to buy things they don't need to impress people they dislike.

Pascal Blaise

The faster I go, the behinder I get.

Pascal Blaise

"Rembrandt's first name was Beauregard, which is why he never used it."

Pasteur L.

It'll be just like Beggars' Canyon back home.

Pat Cadigan

Mate, this parrot wouldn't VOOM if you put four million volts through it!

Pat Cadigan

Remembering is for those who have forgotten.

Patricia O Tuama

It is Mr. Mellon's credo that $200,000,000 can do no wrong. Our offense consists in doubting it.

Patrick Saint

All phone calls are obscene.


Ever get the feeling that the world's on tape and one of the reels is missing?

Paul Erdman

I consider a new device or technology to have been culturally accepted when it has been used to commit a murder.

Paul Tillich German

... [concerning quotation marks] even if we *___did* quote anybody in this business, it probably would be gibberish.

Pelt Lucy Van

Women of genius commonly have masculine faces, figures and manners. In transplanting brains to an alien soil God leaves a little of the original earth clinging to the roots.

Penn Jillette

The USA is so enormous, and so numerous are its schools, colleges and religious seminaries, many devoted to special religious beliefs ranging from the unorthodox to the dotty, that we can hardly wonder at its yielding a more bounteous harvest of gobb

Penn William

Writing about music is like dancing about architecture.

Perce Chief Joseph

Roumanian-Yiddish cooking has killed more Jews than Hitler.

Perelman S.J.

Words have a longer life than deeds.


I went to a Grateful Dead Concert and they played for SEVEN hours. Great song.

Perlis Alan J.

God helps them that help themselves.

Peter Dr. Laurence J.

Why does a hearse horse snicker, hauling a lawyer away?

Peter Dr. Laurence J.

We all live in a state of ambitious poverty.

Peter Irene

I am a man: nothing human is alien to me.

Peter Laurence

Being a miner, as soon as you're too old and tired and sick and stupid to do your job properly, you have to go, where the very opposite applies with the judges.

Peter Laurence J.

'Scuse me, while I kiss the sky!

Peter Laurence J.

Watch your mouth, kid, or you'll find yourself floating home.

Peter Stack

Faith is under the left nipple.

Peter Straub

XXI: It's easy to get a loan unless you need it. XXII: If stock market experts were so expert, they would be buying stock, not selling advice. XXIII: Any task can be completed in only one-third more time than is currently estimated. XXIV:

Petronius Gaius

Perhaps the remembrance of these things will prove a source of future pleasure.


There's no justice in this world.


All art is but imitation of nature.


Look, we trade every day out there with hustlers, deal-makers, shysters, con-men. That's the way businesses get started. That's the way this country was built.

Philip Hale Boston

Column 1 Column 2 Column 3 0. integrated 0. management 0. options 1. total 1. organizational 1. flexibility 2. systematized 2. monitored 2. capability 3. parallel 3. reciprocal 3. mobility 4. functional 4. digital 4. programming 5. re

Philips Emo

Once he had one leg in the White House and the nation trembled under his roars. Now he is a tinpot pope in the Coca-Cola belt and a brother to the forlorn pastors who belabor halfwits in galvanized iron tabernacles behind the railroad yards."

Phillips Emo

Fast ship? You mean you've never heard of the Millennium Falcon?

Phillips Utah

There are no accidents whatsoever in the universe.

Physicist John von Neumann

In my end is my beginning.


Jesus may love you, but I think you're garbage wrapped in skin.


Take the folks at Coca-Cola. For many years, they were content to sit back and make the same old carbonated beverage. It was a good beverage, no question about it; generations of people had grown up drinking it and doing the experiment in sixth gr

Picasso Pablo

What you want, what you're hanging around in the world waiting for, is for something to occur to you.

Pike Bishop James

Small is beautiful.

Pile Stephen

"Well, if you can't believe what you read in a comic book, what *___can* you believe?!"

Pile Stephen

Chapter 1 The story so far: In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.

Pile Stephen

When the sun shineth, make hay.

Pile Stephen

You climb to reach the summit, but once there, discover that all roads lead down.

Pile Stephen

It is something to be able to paint a particular picture, or to carve a statue, and so to make a few objects beautiful; but it is far more glorious to carve and paint the very atmosphere and medium through which we look, which morally we can do. T


Art is a jealous mistress.


My problem lies in reconciling my gross habits with my net income.

Pinero Sir Arthur Wing

Every man who has reached even his intellectual teens begins to suspect that life is no farce; that it is not genteel comedy even; that it flowers and fructifies on the contrary out of the profoundest tragic depths of the essential death in which its

Pintauro Joseph

In spite of everything, I still believe that people are good at heart.

Pirsig Robert

In "King Henry VI, Part II," Shakespeare has Dick Butcher suggest to his fellow anti-establishment rabble-rousers, "The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers." That action may be extreme but a similar sentiment was expressed by Thomas K. Co

Platford Lois

By the middle 1880's, practically all the roads except those in the South, were of the present standard gauge. The southern roads were still five feet between rails. It was decided to change the gauge of all southern roads to standard, in one day


Being a miner, as soon as you're too old and tired and sick and stupid to do your job properly, you have to go, where the very opposite applies with the judges.


A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.


There's nothing worse for your business than extra Santa Clauses smoking in the men's room.


Live within your income, even if you have to borrow to do so.


The typewriting machine, when played with expression, is no more annoying than the piano when played by a sister or near relation.


... Our second completely true news item was sent to me by Mr. H. Boyce Connell Jr. of Atlanta, Ga., where he is involved in a law firm. One thing I like about the South is, folks there care about tradition. If somebody gets handed a name like "H.

Plautus Titus Maccius

Public use of any portable music system is a virtually guaranteed indicator of sociopathic tendencies.

Plautus Titus Maccius

Among all savage beasts, none is found so harmful as woman.

Plautus Titus Maccius

The chief danger in life is that you may take too many precautions.

Player Willis

A woman who is unfaithful deserves to be shot.


Princeton's taste is sweet like a strawberry tart. Harvard's is a subtle taste, like whiskey, coffee, or tobacco. It may even be a bad habit, for all I know.

Plummer Christopher

If what they've been doing hasn't solved the problem, tell them to do something else.


Sometimes even to live is an act of courage.

Pollard John G.

Sometimes, too long is too long.


Why are you doing this to me? Because knowledge is torture, and there must be awareness before there is change.


"We demand rigidly defined areas of doubt and uncertainty!"

Pope Alexander

Immature artists imitate, mature artists steal.

Pope Alexander

It is up to us to produce better-quality movies.

Pope John Paul

I never cheated an honest man, only rascals. They wanted something for nothing. I gave them nothing for something.

Pope St. Gregory

A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.

Poppins Mary

An ounce of mother is worth a ton of priest.

Postmas James

The avocation of assessing the failures of better men can be turned into a comfortable livelihood, providing you back it up with a Ph.D.

Pournelle Niven and

Haste makes waste.

Powers Richard

She cried, and the judge wiped her tears with my checkbook.

Prabhupada Swami

The coast was clear.

Prentice George D.

To have died once is enough.

President Pat Paulsen for

The term "fire" brings up visions of violence and mayhem and the ugly scene of shooting employees who make mistakes. We will now refer to this process as "deleting" an employee (much as a file is deleted from a disk). The employee is simply there o

Presley Elvis

The Least Successful Equal Pay Advertisement In 1976 the European Economic Community pointed out to the Irish Government that it had not yet implemented the agreed sex equality legislation. The Dublin Government immediately advertised for an equal

Presley Elvis

It is better to have loved and lost

Price Don

Mental power tended to corrupt, and absolute intelligence tended to corrupt absolutely, until the victim eschewed violence entirely in favor of smart solutions to stupid problems.

Prochnow Herbert

Would ye both eat your cake and have your cake?

Prochnow Herbert V.

In case of fire, stand in the hall and shout "Fire!"

Professor English

It is Mr. Mellon's credo that $200,000,000 can do no wrong. Our offense consists in doubting it.

Prosser D. Winkel and F.

Judges, as a class, display, in the matter of arranging alimony, that reckless generosity which is found only in men who are giving away someone else's cash.


Feminists say 60 percent of the country's wealth is in the hands of women. They're letting men hold the other 40 percent because their handbags are full.

Proust M.

What you don't know won't help you much either.

Proverb A Yippie

Any two philosophers can tell each other all they know in two hours.

Proverb Ancient Simian

If reporters don't know that truth is plural, they ought to be lawyers.

Proverb Chinese

Optimism is the content of small men in high places.

Proverb Chinese

Neckties strangle clear thinking.

Proverb Recent Chinese

"I only touch base with reality on an as-needed basis!"

Pryne Hester

The root of all superstition is that men observe when a thing hits, but not when it misses.


Why does a hearse horse snicker, hauling a lawyer away?


God is really only another artist. He invented the giraffe, the elephant and the cat. He has no real style, He just goes on trying other things.

Publius Ovidius Naso

Not to laugh, not to lament, not to curse, but to understand.

Publius Terentius Afer

Before he became a hermit, Zarathud was a young Priest, and took great delight in making fools of his opponents in front of his followers. One day Zarathud took his students to a pleasant pasture and there he confronted The Sacred Chao while She

Publius Terentius Afer

The whole world is a scab. The point is to pick it constructively.

Publius Terentius Afer

The universe is made of stories, not of atoms.

Publius Terentius Afer

One man's Mede is another man's Persian.

Publius Vergilius Maro

God was satisfied with his own work, and that is fatal.

Publius Vergilius Maro

Try not to have a good time ... This is supposed to be educational.

Publius Vergilius Maro

A little inaccuracy saves a world of explanation.

Publius Vergilius Maro

I need another lawyer like I need another hole in my head.

Pudd'nhead Wilson's

The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence.

Pulitzer Joseph

A good reputation is more valuable than money.

Pusey Nathan

God is the tangential point between zero and infinity.


Luke, I'm yer father, eh. Come over to the dark side, you hoser.

Python Monty

True to our past we work with an inherited, observed, and accepted vision of personal futility, and of the beauty of the world.

prayer Medieval

The tree in which the sap is stagnant remains fruitless.

proverb Arab

This is the sort of English up with which I will not put.

proverb Arabian

The major sin is the sin of being born.

proverb Chinese

When I was in school, I cheated on my metaphysics exam: I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.

proverb Chinese

When I have one foot in the grave I will tell the truth about women. I shall tell it, jump into my coffin, pull the lid over me, and say, "Do what you like now."

proverb Chinese

You cannot see the wood for the trees.

proverb Chinese

All of us should treasure his Oriental wisdom and his preaching of a Zen-like detachment, as exemplified by his constant reminder to clerks, tellers, or others who grew excited by his presence in their banks: "Just lie down on the floor and keep calm

proverb Chinese

If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?

proverb Chinese

I didn't believe in reincarnation in any of my other lives. I don't see why I should have to believe in it in this one.

proverb Chinese

A priest asked: What is Fate, Master? And the Master answered: It is that which gives a beast of burden its reason for existence. It is that which men in former times had to bear upon their backs. It is that which has caused nations to build bywa

proverb Indian

I have ways of making money that you know nothing of.

proverb Italian

... but as records of courts and justice are admissible, it can easily be proved that powerful and malevolent magicians once existed and were a scourge to mankind. The evidence (including confession) upon which certain women were convicted of witch

proverb Polish

I remember when legal used to mean lawful, now it means some kind of loophole.

proverb Spanish

If God is One, what is bad?

proverb Turkish

Another day, another dollar.

proverb. Scottish

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Even God cannot change the past.
Stalin Joseph

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