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There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.

P Harry Thurston

That's where the money was.

Pa Long Chen

Housework can kill you if done right.

Pa Jessie

It may be better to be a live jackal than a dead lion, but it is better still to be a live lion. And usually easier.

Paar Jack

As failures go, attempting to recall the past is like trying to grasp the meaning of existence. Both make one feel like a baby clutching at a basketball: one's palms keep sliding off.

Paar Jack

What's a cult? It just means not enough people to make a minority.

Paine Thomas

Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.

Paine Thomas

You can't cheat an honest man. Never give a sucker an even break or smarten up a chump.

Palindromist The Mad

Zounds! I was never so bethumped with words since I first called my brother's father dad.

Parker Dorothy

God instructs the heart, not by ideas, but by pains and contradictions.

Parker Dorothy

What you want, what you're hanging around in the world waiting for, is for something to occur to you.

Parker Dorothy

This novel is not to be tossed lightly aside, but to be hurled with great force.

Parker Dorothy

Whom the mad would destroy, first they make Gods.

Parker Dorothy

Criticism comes easier than craftsmanship.

Parker Dorothy

Nothing endures but change.

Parker Dorthy

One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar.

Parker Robert

Beware of all enterprises that require new clothes, and not rather a new wearer of clothes.


She often gave herself very good advice (though she very seldom followed it).

Parkinson C.N.

It has long been noticed that juries are pitiless for robbery and full of indulgence for infanticide. A question of interest, my dear Sir! The jury is afraid of being robbed and has passed the age when it could be a victim of infanticide.

Parkinson C.N.

The Least Successful Police Dogs America has a very strong candidate in "La Dur", a fearsome looking schnauzer hound, who was retired from the Orlando police force in Florida in 1978. He consistently refused to do anything which might ruffle or of

Parnas Dave

Great acts are made up of small deeds.

Pascal Blaise

You know how to win a victory, Hannibal, but not how to use it.

Pascal Blaise

Dear Ann Landers: My husband watches the TV preachers every Sunday. He claims one minister said there are 350 different sins. My husband wants to know if you can get the list. He thinks he is missing something.

Pascal Blaise

You just wait, I'll sin till I blow up!

Pasteur L.

Darth Vader! Only you would be so bold!

Pat Cadigan

The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers.

Pat Cadigan

Young men think old men are fools; but old men know young men are fools.

Patricia O Tuama

Never appeal to a man's "better nature." He may not have one. Invoking his self-interest gives you more leverage.

Patrick Saint

The early bird who catches the worm works for someone who comes in late and owns the worm farm.


Fashions have done more harm than revolutions.

Paul Erdman

If you mess with a thing long enough, it'll break.

Paul Tillich German

Never promise more than you can perform.

Pelt Lucy Van

Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.

Penn Jillette

A highly intelligent man should take a primitive woman. Imagine if on top of everything else, I had a woman who interfered with my work.

Penn William

You're either part of the solution or part of the problem.

Perce Chief Joseph

Home life as we understand it is no more natural to us than a cage is to a cockatoo.

Perelman S.J.

So you think that money is the root of all evil. Have you ever asked what is the root of money?


The day advanced as if to light some work of mine; it was morning, and lo! now it is evening, and nothing memorable is accomplished.

Perlis Alan J.

Uppers are no longer stylish, methedrine is almost as rare as pure acid or DMT. "Consciousness Expansion" went out with LBJ and it is worth noting, historically, that downers came in with Nixon.

Peter Dr. Laurence J.

Certainly the game is rigged. Don't let that stop you; if you don't bet, you can't win.

Peter Dr. Laurence J.

Catharsis is something I associate with pornography and crossword puzzles.

Peter Irene

Ignorance is never out of style. It was in fashion yesterday, it is the rage today, and it will set the pace tomorrow.

Peter Laurence

Doubt isn't the opposite of faith; it is an element of faith.

Peter Laurence J.

I don't have any solution but I certainly admire the problem.

Peter Laurence J.

A lot of people I know believe in positive thinking, and so do I. I believe everything positively stinks.

Peter Stack

Russia has abolished God, but so far God has been more tolerant.

Peter Straub

I remember when legal used to mean lawful, now it means some kind of loophole.

Petronius Gaius

Ninety percent of everything is crap.


Television has proved that people will look at anything rather than each other.


Term, holidays, term, holidays, till we leave school, and then work, work, work till we die.


Another day, another dollar.

Philip Hale Boston

I need another lawyer like I need another hole in my head.

Philips Emo

The only winner in the War of 1812 was Tchaikovsky.

Phillips Emo

In a hierarchy every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence ... in time every post tends to be occupied by an employee who is incompetent to carry out its duties ... Work is accomplished by those employees who have not yet reached their

Phillips Utah

The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence.

Physicist John von Neumann

[The French Riviera is] a sunny place for shady people.


Hate the sin and love the sinner.


Bond reflected that good Americans were fine people and that most of them seemed to come from Texas.

Picasso Pablo

Governor Tarkin. I should have expected to find you holding Vader's leash. I thought I recognized your foul stench when I was brought on board.

Pike Bishop James

A woman who is guided by the head and not by the heart is a social pestilence: she has all the defects of the passionate and affectionate woman, with none of her compensations; she is without pity, without love, without virtue, without sex.

Pile Stephen

One picture is worth more than ten thousand words.

Pile Stephen

Sweet April showers do spring May flowers.

Pile Stephen

If clear thinking created sparks, we could safely store dynamite in James Watt's office.

Pile Stephen

If I could drop dead right now, I'd be the happiest man alive!

Pile Stephen

Burnt Sienna. That's the best thing that ever happened to Crayolas.


Don't talk to me about naval tradition. It's nothing but rum, sodomy and the lash.


Sho' they got to have it against the law. Shoot, ever'body git high, they wouldn't be nobody git up and feed the chickens. Hee-hee.

Pinero Sir Arthur Wing

It took me fifteen years to discover that I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by that time I was too famous.

Pintauro Joseph

Having nothing, nothing can he lose.

Pirsig Robert

A right is not what someone gives you; it's what no one can take from you.

Platford Lois

An old Jewish man reads about Einstein's theory of relativity in the newspaper and asks his scientist grandson to explain it to him. "Well, zayda, it's sort of like this. Einstein says that if you're having your teeth drilled without Novocain, a mi


In Hollywood, if you don't have happiness, you send out for it.


Truth never comes into the world but like a bastard, to the ignominy of him that brought her birth.


It is a lesson which all history teaches wise men, to put trust in ideas, and not in circumstances.


In success there's a tendency to keep on doing what you were doing.


It's is not, it isn't ain't, and it's it's, not its, if you mean it is. If you don't, it's its. Then too, it's hers. It isn't her's. It isn't our's either. It's ours, and likewise yours and theirs.


There are people who find it odd to eat four or five Chinese meals in a row; in China, I often remind them, there are a billion or so people who find nothing odd about it.

Plautus Titus Maccius

It's the opinion of some that crops could be grown on the moon. Which raises the fear that it may not be long before we're paying somebody not to.

Plautus Titus Maccius

Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice. In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians called it "Christmas" and went to

Plautus Titus Maccius

If you laid all of our laws end to end, there would be no end.

Player Willis

Never have so many understood so little about so much.


The superpowers often behave like two heavily armed blind men feeling their way around a room, each believing himself in mortal peril from the other, whom he assumes to have perfect vision. Each tends to ascribe to the other side a consistency, fors

Plummer Christopher

As to Jesus of Nazareth... I think the system of Morals and his Religion, as he left them to us, the best the World ever saw or is likely to see; but I apprehend it has received various corrupting Changes, and I have, with most of the present Dissent


I can't seem to bring myself to say, "Well, I guess I'll be toddling along." It isn't that I can't toddle. It's that I can't guess I'll toddle.

Pollard John G.

"You mean, if you allow the master to be uncivil, to treat you any old way he likes, and to insult your dignity, then he may deem you fit to hear his view of things?" "Quite the contrary. You must defend your integrity, assuming you have integrit


Talking about music is like dancing about architecture.


Since we have to speak well of the dead, let's knock them while they're alive.

Pope Alexander

An ambassador is an honest man sent abroad to lie and intrigue for the benefit of his country.

Pope Alexander

Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power.

Pope John Paul

It has long been noticed that juries are pitiless for robbery and full of indulgence for infanticide. A question of interest, my dear Sir! The jury is afraid of being robbed and has passed the age when it could be a victim of infanticide.

Pope St. Gregory

Sometimes a man who deserves to be looked down upon because he is a fool is despised only because he is a lawyer.

Poppins Mary

The reward of a thing well done is to have done it.

Postmas James

Time as he grows old teaches all things.

Pournelle Niven and

Man is the only animal that laughs and weeps; for he is the only animal that is struck with the difference between what things are and what they ought to be.

Powers Richard

All religions issue Bibles against Satan, and say the most injurious things against him, but we never hear his side.

Prabhupada Swami

Nothing makes one so vain as being told that one is a sinner. Conscience makes egotists of us all.

Prentice George D.

Producers seem to be so prejudiced against actors who've had no training. And there's no reason for it. So what if I didn't attend the Royal Academy for twelve years? I'm still a professional trying to be the best actress I can. Why doesn't anyone

President Pat Paulsen for

"A Mormon is a man that has the bad taste and the religion to do what a good many other people are restrained from doing by conscientious scruples and the police."

Presley Elvis

It is Mr. Mellon's credo that $200,000,000 can do no wrong. Our offense consists in doubting it.

Presley Elvis

If you do not wish a man to do a thing, you had better get him to talk about it; for the more men talk, the more likely they are to do nothing else.

Price Don

Live fast, die young, and leave a good looking corpse.

Prochnow Herbert

You men out there probably think you already know how to dress for success. You know, for example, that you should not wear leisure suits or white plastic belts and shoes, unless you are going to a costume party disguised as a pig farmer vacationing

Prochnow Herbert V.

No matter whether th' constitution follows th' flag or not, th' supreme court follows th' iliction returns.

Professor English

So so is good, very good, very excellent good: and yet it is not; it is but so so.

Prosser D. Winkel and F.

Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong.


The individual choice of garnishment of a burger can be an important point to the consumer in this day when individualism is an increasingly important thing to people.

Proust M.

I always choose my friends for their good looks and my enemies for their good intellects. Man cannot be too careful in his choice of enemies.

Proverb A Yippie

I have seen the future and it is just like the present, only longer.

Proverb Ancient Simian

Three o'clock in the afternoon is always just a little too late or a little too early for anything you want to do.

Proverb Chinese

"I gained nothing at all from Supreme Enlightenment, and for that very reason it is called Supreme Enlightenment."

Proverb Chinese

Conscience is a mother-in-law whose visit never ends.

Proverb Recent Chinese

If you want divine justice, die.

Pryne Hester

Modern art is what happens when painters stop looking at girls and persuade themselves that they have a better idea.


Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years.


It is impossible to enjoy idling thoroughly unless one has plenty of work to do.

Publius Ovidius Naso

I place economy among the first and most important virtues, and public debt as the greatest of dangers to be feared. To preserve our independence, we must not let our rulers load us with perpetual debt. If we run into such debts, we must be taxed i

Publius Terentius Afer

He missed an invaluable opportunity to hold his tongue.

Publius Terentius Afer

The truth of a thing is the feel of it, not the think of it.

Publius Terentius Afer

[Americans] are a race of convicts and ought to be thankful for anything we allow them short of hanging.

Publius Terentius Afer

Veni, vidi, vici. [I came, I saw, I conquered].

Publius Vergilius Maro

All generalizations are false, including this one.

Publius Vergilius Maro

With all the talent around, it's sort of amazing that a woman could be up here with us.

Publius Vergilius Maro

Happiness isn't something you experience; it's something you remember.

Publius Vergilius Maro

Necessity hath no law.

Pudd'nhead Wilson's

I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark.

Pulitzer Joseph

He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others.

Pusey Nathan

Nothing succeeds like success.


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Python Monty

Kindness is the beginning of cruelty.

prayer Medieval

Love the sea? I dote upon it

proverb Arab

Princeton's taste is sweet like a strawberry tart. Harvard's is a subtle taste, like whiskey, coffee, or tobacco. It may even be a bad habit, for all I know.

proverb Arabian

I see where we are starting to pay some attention to our neigbors to the south. We could never understand why Mexico wasn't just crazy about us; for we have always had their good will, and oil and minerals, at heart.

proverb Chinese

To know Edina is to reject it.

proverb Chinese

You are never given a wish without also being given the power to make it true. You may have to work for it, however.

proverb Chinese

"Listen to what I say, not what I mean. I mean ...."

proverb Chinese

He who despairs over an event is a coward, but he who holds hopes for the human condition is a fool.

proverb Chinese

To stay young requires unceasing cultivation of the ability to unlearn old falsehoods.

proverb Chinese

Life is a series of rude awakenings.

proverb Chinese

To have died once is enough.

proverb Indian

He hath eaten me out of house and home.

proverb Italian

Democracy is a form of government that substitutes election by the incompetent many for appointment by the corrupt few.

proverb Polish

Ignorance is the Mother of Devotion.

proverb Spanish

"You would do well not to imagine profundity," he said. "Anything that seems of momentous occasion should be dwelt upon as though it were of slight note. Conversely, trivialities must be attended to with the greatest of care. Because death is moment

proverb Turkish

The white race is the cancer of history.

proverb. Scottish

Random Quote

One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar.
Keller Helen

deep thoughts of brillyant genius of human history
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