Knowledge is power.

He has not acquired a fortune; the fortune has acquired him.

Once, I read that a man be never stronger than when he truly realizes how weak he is.

A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.

"Consequences, Schmonsequences, as long as I'm rich."

Lo! Men have become the tool of their tools.

No problem is so formidable that you can't just walk away from it.

Even the clearest and most perfect circumstantial evidence is likely to be at fault, after all, and therefore ought to be received with great caution. Take the case of any pencil, sharpened by any woman; if you have witnesses, you will find she did

Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names the streets after them.

It is up to us to produce better-quality movies.

Sherry [Thomas Sheridan] is dull, naturally dull; but it must have taken him a great deal of pains to become what we now see him. Such an excess of stupidity, sir, is not in Nature.

A critic is a bundle of biases held loosely together by a sense of taste.

Education is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember from time to time that nothing that is worth knowing can be taught.

Some men are heterosexual, and some are bisexual, and some men don't think about sex at all... they become lawyers.

Let's say your wedding ring falls into your toaster, and when you stick your hand in to retrieve it, you suffer Pain and Suffering as well as Mental Anguish. You would sue: * The toaster manufacturer, for failure to include, in the instructions

The man who has never been flogged has never been taught.

"Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company."

"...The name of the song is called 'Haddocks' Eyes'!" "Oh, that's the name of the song, is it?" Alice said, trying to feel interested. "No, you don't understand," the Knight said, looking a little vexed. "That's what the name is called. The nam

Serfs up!

Long were the days of pain I have spent within its walls, and long were the nights of aloneness; and who can depart from his pain and his aloneness without regret?

You can tell the ideals of a nation by its advertisements.

"Why are we importing all these highbrow plays like `Amadeus'? I could have told you Mozart was a jerk for nothing."

We have nowhere else to go... this is all we have.

Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet?

It is now 10 p.m. Do you know where Henry Kissinger is?

In the Spring, I have counted 136 different kinds of weather inside of 24 hours.

Odets, where is thy sting?

Fame is a vapor; popularity an accident; the only earthly certainty is oblivion.

There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?

"Life is too important to take seriously."

The ratio of literacy to illiteracy is a constant, but nowadays the illiterates can read.

We cannot do everything at once, but we can do something at once.

If you catch a man, throw him back.

Whenever anyone says, "theoretically," they really mean, "not really."

I went into the business for the money, and the art grew out of it. If people are disillusioned by that remark, I can't help it. It's the truth.

He that teaches himself has a fool for a master.

I am a friend of the working man, and I would rather be his friend than be one.

If God wanted us to have a President, He would have sent us a candidate.

Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do. Play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do.

Sometimes even to live is an act of courage.

It is not the critic who counts, or how the strong man stumbled, or whether the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives vali

The genius of our ruling class is that it has kept a majority of the people from ever questioning the inequity of a system where most people drudge along paying heavy taxes for which they get nothing in return.

The better part of valor is discretion.

Peace cannot be kept by force; it can only be achieved by understanding.

No house should ever be on any hill or on anything. It should be of the hill, belonging to it.

Every man who has reached even his intellectual teens begins to suspect that life is no farce; that it is not genteel comedy even; that it flowers and fructifies on the contrary out of the profoundest tragic depths of the essential death in which its

No poet or novelist wishes he was the only one who ever lived, but most of them wish they were the only one alive, and quite a number fondly believe their wish has been granted.

The tree in which the sap is stagnant remains fruitless.

Seize the day, put no trust in the morrow!

The Anglo-Saxon conscience does not prevent the Anglo-Saxon from sinning, it merely prevents him from enjoying his sin.

An idea is an eye given by God for the seeing of God. Some of these eyes we cannot bear to look out of, we blind them as quickly as possible.

I hate dying.

They spell it "da Vinci" and pronounce it "da Vinchy". Foreigners always spell better than they pronounce.

Ask not for whom the Bell tolls, and you will pay only the station-to-station rate.

We know next to nothing about virtually everything. It is not necessary to know the origin of the universe; it is necessary to want to know. Civilization depends not on any particular knowledge, but on the disposition to crave knowledge.

If you are shooting under 80 you are neglecting your business; over 80 you are neglecting your golf.

The less a statesman amounts to, the more he loves the flag.

It pays in England to be a revolutionary and a bible-smacker most of one's life and then come round.

Unless hours were cups of sack, and minutes capons, and clocks the tongues of bawds, and dials the signs of leaping houses, and the blessed sun himself a fair, hot wench in flame-colored taffeta, I see no reason why thou shouldst be so superfluous to

Nitwit ideas are for emergencies. You use them when you've got nothing else to try. If they work, they go in the Book. Otherwise you follow the Book, which is largely a collection of nitwit ideas that worked.

I BET WHAT HAPPENED was they discovered fire and invented the wheel on the same day. Then that night, they burned the wheel.

There is nothing wrong with Southern California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn't cure.

The past always looks better than it was. It's only pleasant because it isn't here.

... difference of opinion is advantagious in religion. The several sects perform the office of a common censor morum over each other. Is uniformity attainable? Millions of innocent men, women, and children, since the introduction of Christianity,

May you live in uninteresting times.

Generally speaking, the Way of the warrior is resolute acceptance of death.

Politics is the ability to foretell what is going to happen tomorrow, next week, next month and next year. And to have the ability afterwards to explain why it didn't happen.

A commune is where people join together to share their lack of wealth.

A yawn is a silent shout.

A thing is not necessarily true because a man dies for it.

Whatever it is, I fear Greeks even when they bring gifts.

We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart.

The only thing that stops God from sending a second Flood is that the first one was useless.

"MOKE DAT YIGARETTE"

History shows that the human mind, fed by constant accessions of knowledge, periodically grows too large for its theoretical coverings, and bursts them asunder to appear in new habiliments, as the feeding and growing grub, at intervals, casts its too

The Least Successful Executions History has furnished us with two executioners worthy of attention. The first performed in Sydney in Australia. In 1803 three attempts were made to hang a Mr. Joseph Samuels. On the first two of these the rope snap

If one cannot enjoy reading a book over and over again, there is no use in reading it at all.

If I had a plantation in Georgia and a home in Hell, I'd sell the plantation and go home.

We're fantastically incredibly sorry for all these extremely unreasonable things we did. I can only plead that my simple, barely-sentient friend and myself are underprivileged, deprived and also college students.

The major sin is the sin of being born.

I wish there was a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence. There's a knob called "brightness", but it doesn't seem to work.

If one inquires why the American tradition is so strong against any connection of State and Church, why it dreads even the rudiments of religious teaching in state-maintained schools, the immediate and superficial answer is not far to seek. ... The

The control of the production of wealth is the control of human life itself.

If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library?

No live organism can continue for long to exist sanely under conditions of absolute reality; even larks and katydids are supposed, by some, to dream. Hill House, not sane, stood by itself against its hills, holding darkness within; it had stood so fo

I value kindness to human beings first of all, and kindness to animals. I don't respect the law; I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger, the food cheaper, and old men

If a nation values anything more than freedom, it will lose its freedom; and the irony of it is that if it is comfort or money it values more, it will lose that, too.

Like ya know? Rock 'N Roll is an esoteric language that unlocks the creativity chambers in people's brains, and like totally activates their essential hipness, which of course is like totally necessary for saving the earth, like because the first th

HR 3128. Omnibus Budget Reconciliation, Fiscal 1986. Martin, R-Ill., motion that the House recede from its disagreement to the Senate amendment making changes in the bill to reduce fiscal 1986 deficits. The Senate amendment was an amendment to the

I stick my neck out for nobody.

The abuse of greatness is when it disjoins remorse from power.

Leave no stone unturned.

The use of money is all the advantage there is to having money.

Have you ever stopped to think what it would be like to have a woman President? "I can't deal with the Russians today. Not now. I've got my period."

People who develop the habit of thinking of themselves as world citizens are fulfilling the first requirement of sanity in our time.

Let him choose out of my files, his projects to accomplish.

Yet creeds mean very little, Coth answered the dark god, still speaking almost gently. The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this is true.

Nice guys finish last, but we get to sleep in.

It is something to be able to paint a particular picture, or to carve a statue, and so to make a few objects beautiful; but it is far more glorious to carve and paint the very atmosphere and medium through which we look, which morally we can do. T

Power corrupts. Absolute power is kind of neat.

Were there no women, men might live like gods.

She ran the gamut of emotions from 'A' to 'B'.

Ninety percent of everything is crap.

The closest to perfection a person ever comes is when he fills out a job application form.

The first rule of all intelligent tinkering is to keep all the parts.

Certainly the game is rigged. Don't let that stop you; if you don't bet, you can't win.

Whatever doesn't succeed in two months and a half in California will never succeed.

Art is Nature speeded up and God slowed down.

If a guru falls in the forest with no one to hear him, was he really a guru at all?

All the waters of the earth are in the armpit of the Great Frog.

I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America and to the republic for which it stands, one nation, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.

In regards to Oral Roberts' claim that God told him that he would die unless he received $20 million by March, God's lawyers have stated that their client has not spoken with Roberts for several years. Off the record, God has stated that "If I had w

When the going gets tough, everyone leaves.

The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence.

Death is a spirit leaving a body, sort of like a shell leaving the nut behind.

Politics is not the art of the possible. It consists in choosing between the disastrous and the unpalatable.

An ounce of hypocrisy is worth a pound of ambition.

The nearer to the church, the further from God.

Skill without imagination is craftsmanship and gives us many useful objects such as wickerwork picnic baskets. Imagination without skill gives us modern art.

Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known.

Bond reflected that good Americans were fine people and that most of them seemed to come from Texas.

It is a sobering thought that when Mozart was my age, he had been dead for two years.

Bullwinkle: You just leave that to my pal. He's the brains of the outfit. General: What does that make YOU? Bullwinkle: What else? An executive.

Advertising is the rattling of a stick inside a swill bucket.

I went to a Grateful Dead Concert and they played for SEVEN hours. Great song.

"It's kind of fun to do the impossible."

We can embody the truth, but we cannot know it.

It's not so hard to lift yourself by your bootstraps once you're off the ground.

Paradise is exactly like where you are right now ... only much, much better.

We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it - and stay there, lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove-lid. She will never sit down on a hot stove-lid again - and that is well; but also she will never

You will remember, Watson, how the dreadful business of the Abernetty family was first brought to my notice by the depth which the parsley had sunk into the butter upon a hot day.

If a thing's worth doing, it is worth doing badly.

By perseverance the snail reached the Ark.

Working with Julie Andrews is like getting hit over the head with a valentine.

I always had a repulsive need to be something more than human.

The only promotion rules I can think of are that a sense of shame is to be avoided at all costs and there is never any reason for a hustler to be less cunning than more virtuous men. Oh yes ... whenever you think you've got something really great, a

From a certain point onward there is no longer any turning back. That is the point that must be reached.

Imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality.

Wagner's music is better than it sounds.

The typewriting machine, when played with expression, is no more annoying than the piano when played by a sister or near relation.

She was good at playing abstract confusion in the same way a midget is good at being short.

The IRS spends God knows how much of your tax money on these toll-free information hot lines staffed by IRS employees, whose idea of a dynamite tax tip is that you should print neatly. If you ask them a real tax question, such as how you can cheat,

If we see the light at the end of the tunnel, it's the light of an oncoming train.

Money doesn't talk, it swears.