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If Beethoven's Seventh Symphony is not by some means abridged, it will soon fall into disuse.

P Harry Thurston

In every hierarchy the cream rises until it sours.

Pa Long Chen

Somewhat alarmed at the continued growth of the number of employees on the Department of Agriculture payroll in 1962, Michigan Republican Robert Griffin proposed an amendment to the farm bill so that "the total number of employees in the Department

Pa Jessie

I heard a definition of an intellectual, that I thought was very interesting: a man who takes more words than are necessary to tell more than he knows.

Paar Jack

Oh, I don't blame Congress. If I had $600 billion at my disposal, I'd be irresponsible, too.

Paar Jack

Would ye both eat your cake and have your cake?

Paine Thomas

"Somewhere", said Father Vittorini, "did Blake not speak of the Machineries of Joy? That is, did not God promote environments, then intimidate these Natures by provoking the existence of flesh, toy men and women, such as are we all? And thus happi

Paine Thomas

Palindromist The Mad

The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and the lightning bug.

Parker Dorothy

Facts, apart from their relationships, are like labels on empty bottles.

Parker Dorothy

Every man who has reached even his intellectual teens begins to suspect that life is no farce; that it is not genteel comedy even; that it flowers and fructifies on the contrary out of the profoundest tragic depths of the essential death in which its

Parker Dorothy

"Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away".

Parker Dorothy

It is only the man whose intellect is clouded by his sexual impulse that could give the name of the fair sex to that undersized, narrow-shouldered, broad-hipped, and short-legged race.

Parker Dorothy

When a shepherd goes to kill a wolf, and takes his dog along to see the sport, he should take care to avoid mistakes. The dog has certain relationships to the wolf the shepherd may have forgotten.

Parker Dorothy

Praise the sea; on shore remain.

Parker Dorthy

Lookie, lookie, here comes cookie...

Parker Robert

Since everything in life is but an experience perfect in being what it is, having nothing to do with good or bad, acceptance or rejection, one may well burst out in laughter.


Advertising is the rattling of a stick inside a swill bucket.

Parkinson C.N.

Anyone can hold the helm when the sea is calm.

Parkinson C.N.

"Hi, I'm Preston A. Mantis, president of Consumers Retail Law Outlet. As you can see by my suit and the fact that I have all these books of equal height on the shelves behind me, I am a trained legal attorney. Do you have a car or a job? Do you ever

Parnas Dave

"Well, if you can't believe what you read in a comic book, what *___can* you believe?!"

Pascal Blaise

It's not Camelot, but it's not Cleveland, either.

Pascal Blaise

Rebellion lay in his way, and he found it.

Pascal Blaise

It is better to have loved and lost

Pasteur L.

All the waters of the earth are in the armpit of the Great Frog.

Pat Cadigan

It's not so hard to lift yourself by your bootstraps once you're off the ground.

Pat Cadigan

I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to.

Patricia O Tuama

Better the prince of some inferior court, Than second, or less, in beatific light.

Patrick Saint

The Worst Jury A murder trial at Manitoba in February 1978 was well advanced, when one juror revealed that he was completely deaf and did not have the remotest clue what was happening. The judge, Mr. Justice Solomon, asked him if he had heard any


If there is a sin against life, it consists perhaps not so much in despairing of life as in hoping for another life and in eluding the implacable grandeur of this life.

Paul Erdman

TO THOSE OF YOU WHO DESIRE IT, I GRANT YOU MADRAK'S BLESSING: Insofar as I may be heard by anything, which may or may not care what I say, I ask, if it matters, that you be forgiven for anything you may have done or failed to do which requires for

Paul Tillich German

Producers seem to be so prejudiced against actors who've had no training. And there's no reason for it. So what if I didn't attend the Royal Academy for twelve years? I'm still a professional trying to be the best actress I can. Why doesn't anyone

Pelt Lucy Van

Ask not for whom the Bell tolls, and you will pay only the station-to-station rate.

Penn Jillette

Very few things happen at the right time, and the rest do not happen at all. The conscientious historian will correct these defects.

Penn William

The optimist thinks that this is the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist knows it.

Perce Chief Joseph

Whenever the literary German dives into a sentence, that is the last you are going to see of him until he emerges on the other side of his Atlantic with his verb in his mouth.

Perelman S.J.

Before he became a hermit, Zarathud was a young Priest, and took great delight in making fools of his opponents in front of his followers. One day Zarathud took his students to a pleasant pasture and there he confronted The Sacred Chao while She


I have just enough white in me to make my honesty questionable.

Perlis Alan J.

It is right that he too should have his little chronicle, his memories, his reason, and be able to recognize the good in the bad, the bad in the worst, and so grow gently old all down the unchanging days and die one day like any other day, only short

Peter Dr. Laurence J.

My band career ended late in my senior year when John Cooper and I threw my amplifier out the dormitory window. We did not act in haste. First we checked to make sure the amplifier would fit through the frame, using the belt from my bathrobe to meas

Peter Dr. Laurence J.

As flies to wanton boys are we to the gods; they kill us for their sport.

Peter Irene

You can bring men from other parts of the world who are sane. And you know what happens? At the very moment they cross those mountains... they go mad. Instantaneously and automatically, at the very moment they cross the mountains into California,

Peter Laurence

When in doubt, have a man come through the door with a gun in his hand.

Peter Laurence J.

There is no character, howsoever good and fine, but it can be destroyed by ridicule, howsoever poor and witless. Observe the ass, for instance: his character is about perfect, he is the choicest spirit among all the humbler animals, yet see what rid

Peter Laurence J.

It doesn't matter whether you win or lose

Peter Stack

The cart has no place where a fifth wheel could be used.

Peter Straub

I've got a very bad feeling about this.

Petronius Gaius

Adhere to your own act, and congratulate yourself if you have done something strange and extravagant, and broken the monotony of a decorous age.


Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it.


As Gen. de Gaulle occassionally acknowledges America to be the daughter of Europe, so I am pleased to come to Yale, the daughter of Harvard.


If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.

Philip Hale Boston

It is common sense to take a method and try it. If it fails, admit it frankly and try another. But above all, try something.

Philips Emo

Zounds! I was never so bethumped with words since I first called my brother's father dad.

Phillips Emo

"Jesus saves...but Gretzky gets the rebound!"

Phillips Utah

Bingo, gas station, hamburger with a side order of airplane noise, and you'll be Gary, Indiana.

Physicist John von Neumann

It is like saying that for the cause of peace, God and the Devil will have a high-level meeting.


Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.


We are not a loved organization, but we are a respected one.

Picasso Pablo

Crito, I owe a cock to Asclepius; will you remember to pay the debt?

Pike Bishop James

Reality is bad enough, why should I tell the truth?

Pile Stephen

Learning without thought is labor lost; thought without learning is perilous.

Pile Stephen

Now, you might ask, "How do I get one of those complete home tool sets for under $4?" An excellent question. Go to one of those really cheap discount stores where they sell plastic furniture in colors visible from the planet Neptune and where they

Pile Stephen

Any stone in your boot always migrates against the pressure gradient to exactly the point of most pressure.

Pile Stephen

Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself.

Pile Stephen

If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that don't get wet you can keep.


Never invest your money in anything that eats or needs repainting.


If God lived on Earth, people would knock out all His windows.

Pinero Sir Arthur Wing

...He who laughs does not believe in what he laughs at, but neither does he hate it. Therefore, laughing at evil means not preparing oneself to combat it, and laughing at good means denying the power through which good is self-propagating.

Pintauro Joseph

If you live in New York, even if you're Catholic, you're Jewish.

Pirsig Robert

Where you stand depends on where you sit.

Platford Lois

Another day, another dollar.


Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.


The only excuse for God is that he doesn't exist.


If you are shooting under 80 you are neglecting your business; over 80 you are neglecting your golf.


Just remember, wherever you go, there you are.


Many a sober Christian would rather admit that a wafer is God than that God is a cruel and capricious tyrant.


It is easier to resist at the beginning than at the end.

Plautus Titus Maccius

Politics, like religion, hold up the torches of matrydom to the reformers of error.

Plautus Titus Maccius

No evil can happen to a good man.

Plautus Titus Maccius

I'd just as soon kiss a Wookie.

Player Willis

I shot an arrow in to the air, and it stuck.


It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.

Plummer Christopher

It may be better to be a live jackal than a dead lion, but it is better still to be a live lion. And usually easier.


A little inaccuracy sometimes saves tons of explanation.

Pollard John G.

There are no manifestos like cannon and musketry.


The root of all superstition is that men observe when a thing hits, but not when it misses.


I'll never get off this planet.

Pope Alexander

Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.

Pope Alexander

"God gives burdens; also shoulders" Jimmy Carter cited this Jewish saying in his concession speech at the end of the 1980 election. At least he said it was a Jewish saying; I can't find it anywhere. I'm sure he's telling the truth though; why wo

Pope John Paul

Life sucks, but death doesn't put out at all.

Pope St. Gregory

Whoever has lived long enough to find out what life is, knows how deep a debt of gratitude we owe to Adam, the first great benefactor of our race. He brought death into the world.

Poppins Mary

Look ere ye leap.

Postmas James

I am America's child, a spastic slogging on demented limbs drooling I'll trade my PhD for a telephone voice.

Pournelle Niven and

Education is learning what you didn't even know you didn't know.

Powers Richard

Jesus may love you, but I think you're garbage wrapped in skin.

Prabhupada Swami

Love the sea? I dote upon it

Prentice George D.

There is perhaps in every thing of any consequence, secret history, which it would be amusing to know, could we have it authentically communicated.

President Pat Paulsen for

The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers.

Presley Elvis

I'd be a poorer man if I'd never seen an eagle fly.

Presley Elvis

A myth is a religion in which no-one any longer believes.

Price Don

Every young man should have a hobby: learning how to handle money is the best one.

Prochnow Herbert

Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely.

Prochnow Herbert V.

An atom-blaster is a good weapon, but it can point both ways.

Professor English

Talking about music is like dancing about architecture.

Prosser D. Winkel and F.

"Necessity is the mother of invention" is a silly proverb. "Necessity is the mother of futile dodges" is much nearer the truth.


It is Mr. Mellon's credo that $200,000,000 can do no wrong. Our offense consists in doubting it.

Proust M.

A prediction is worth twenty explanations.

Proverb A Yippie

All of the true things I am about to tell you are shameless lies.

Proverb Ancient Simian

Where it is a duty to worship the sun it is pretty sure to be a crime to examine the laws of heat.

Proverb Chinese

Mankind is poised midway between the gods and the beasts.

Proverb Chinese

Imitation is the sincerest form of television.

Proverb Recent Chinese

I value kindness to human beings first of all, and kindness to animals. I don't respect the law; I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger, the food cheaper, and old men

Pryne Hester

Too much is just enough.


On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does.


If you took all of the grains of sand in the world, and lined them up end to end in a row, you'd be working for the government!

Publius Ovidius Naso

Lay off the muses, it's a very tough dollar.

Publius Terentius Afer

One good turn asketh another.

Publius Terentius Afer

The first rule of all intelligent tinkering is to keep all the parts.

Publius Terentius Afer

The law will never make men free; it is men who have got to make the law free.

Publius Terentius Afer

Goals... Plans... they're fantasies, they're part of a dream world...

Publius Vergilius Maro

Porsche: there simply is no substitute.

Publius Vergilius Maro

If one inquires why the American tradition is so strong against any connection of State and Church, why it dreads even the rudiments of religious teaching in state-maintained schools, the immediate and superficial answer is not far to seek. ... The

Publius Vergilius Maro

Interesting poll results reported in today's New York Post: people on the street in midtown Manhattan were asked whether they approved of the US invasion of Grenada. Fifty-three percent said yes; 39 percent said no; and 8 percent said "Gimme a quart

Publius Vergilius Maro

The only promotion rules I can think of are that a sense of shame is to be avoided at all costs and there is never any reason for a hustler to be less cunning than more virtuous men. Oh yes ... whenever you think you've got something really great, a

Pudd'nhead Wilson's

"Is it just me, or does anyone else read `bible humpers' every time someone writes `bible thumpers?'

Pulitzer Joseph

The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence.

Pusey Nathan

I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best.


When you have to kill a man it costs nothing to be polite.

Python Monty

I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forego their use.

prayer Medieval

Likewise, the national appetizer, brine-cured herring with raw onions, wins few friends, Germans excepted.

proverb Arab

There's no such thing as a free lunch.

proverb Arabian

The Public is merely a multiplied "me."

proverb Chinese

... but as records of courts and justice are admissible, it can easily be proved that powerful and malevolent magicians once existed and were a scourge to mankind. The evidence (including confession) upon which certain women were convicted of witch

proverb Chinese

You see, I consider that a man's brain originally is like a little empty attic, and you have to stock it with such furniture as you choose. A fool takes in all the lumber of every sort he comes across, so that the knowledge which might be useful to

proverb Chinese

"And Bezel saideth unto Sham: `Sham,' he saideth, `Thou shalt goest unto the town of Begorrah, and there thou shalt fetcheth unto thine bosom 35 talents, and also shalt thou fetcheth a like number of cubits, provideth that they are nice and fresh.'"

proverb Chinese

Dying is easy. Comedy is difficult.

proverb Chinese

Who goeth a-borrowing goeth a-sorrowing.

proverb Chinese

If you want divine justice, die.

proverb Chinese

What soon grows old? Gratitude.

proverb Indian

Luke, I'm yer father, eh. Come over to the dark side, you hoser.

proverb Italian

By perseverance the snail reached the Ark.

proverb Polish

The first requisite for immortality is death.

proverb Spanish

A furore Normanorum libera nos, O Domine! [From the fury of the norsemen deliver us, O Lord!]

proverb Turkish

Better late than never.

proverb. Scottish

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There is an innocence in admiration; it is found in those to whom it has not yet occurred that they, too, might be admired some day.
Nietzsche Friedrich

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