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Some men are heterosexual, and some are bisexual, and some men don't think about sex at all... they become lawyers.

P Harry Thurston


A man's house is his castle.

Pa Long Chen


Here's to women. Would that we could fall into her arms without falling into her hands.

Pa Jessie


Pauca sed matura. [Few but excellent.]

Paar Jack


God help those who do not help themselves.

Paar Jack


The plot was designed in a light vein that somehow became varicose.

Paine Thomas


Mike: "The Fourth Dimension is a shambles?" Bernie: "Nobody ever empties the ashtrays. People are SO inconsiderate."

Paine Thomas


Most general statements are false, including this one.

Palindromist The Mad


Doubt isn't the opposite of faith; it is an element of faith.

Parker Dorothy


Don't get mad, get even.

Parker Dorothy


What you want, what you're hanging around in the world waiting for, is for something to occur to you.

Parker Dorothy


For fools rush in where angels fear to tread.

Parker Dorothy


A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.

Parker Dorothy


No man is an Iland, intire of it selfe; every man is a peece of the Continent, a part of the maine; if a Clod bee washed away by the Sea, Europe is the lesse, as well as if a Promontorie were, as well as if a Mannor of thy friends or of thine owne we

Parker Dorothy


I value kindness to human beings first of all, and kindness to animals. I don't respect the law; I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger, the food cheaper, and old men

Parker Dorthy


It is sweet to let the mind unbend on occasion.

Parker Robert


Two heads are better than one.

Parkinson


Lassie looked brilliant, in part because the farm family she lived with was made up of idiots. Remember? One of them was always getting pinned under the tractor, and Lassie was always rushing back to the farmhouse to alert the other ones. She'd w

Parkinson C.N.


It is better to have loved and lost

Parkinson C.N.


An atom-blaster is a good weapon, but it can point both ways.

Parnas Dave


Man is the measure of all things.

Pascal Blaise


The course of true anything never does run smooth.

Pascal Blaise


Executive ability is deciding quickly and getting somebody else to do the work.

Pascal Blaise


An aphorism is never exactly true; it is either a half-truth or one-and-a-half truths.

Pasteur L.


Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.

Pat Cadigan


A highly intelligent man should take a primitive woman. Imagine if on top of everything else, I had a woman who interfered with my work.

Pat Cadigan


The lawgiver, of all beings, most owes the law allegiance. He of all men should behave as though the law compelled him. But it is the universal weakness of mankind that what we are given to administer we presently imagine we own.

Patricia O Tuama


Genius is pain.

Patrick Saint


The optimist thinks that this is the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist knows it.

Patton


"Hey, Sam, how about a loan?" "Whattaya need?" "Oh, about $500." "Whattaya got for collateral?" "Whattaya need?" "How about an eye?"

Paul Erdman


For every bloke who makes his mark, there's half a dozen waiting to rub it out.

Paul Tillich German


When the English language gets in my way, I walk over it.

Pelt Lucy Van


It was a female that drove me to drink and I didn't even have the kindness to thank her.

Penn Jillette


Home is where the hurt is.

Penn William


Housework can kill you if done right.

Perce Chief Joseph


What we cannot speak about we must pass over in silence.

Perelman S.J.


Progress might have been all right once, but it's gone on too long.

Pericles


Gauls! We have nothing to fear; except perhaps that the sky may fall on our heads tomorrow. But as we all know, tomorrow never comes!!

Perlis Alan J.


Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig.

Peter Dr. Laurence J.


So you think that money is the root of all evil. Have you ever asked what is the root of money?

Peter Dr. Laurence J.


If we don't survive, we don't do anything else.

Peter Irene


Real wealth can only increase.

Peter Laurence


It is your concern when your neighbor's wall is on fire.

Peter Laurence J.


Ignorance is never out of style. It was in fashion yesterday, it is the rage today, and it will set the pace tomorrow.

Peter Laurence J.


Sweet April showers do spring May flowers.

Peter Stack


Campus sidewalks never exist as the straightest line between two points.

Peter Straub


Just because everything is different doesn't mean anything has changed.

Petronius Gaius


Either I'm dead or my watch has stopped.

Phaedrus


No poet or novelist wishes he was the only one who ever lived, but most of them wish they were the only one alive, and quite a number fondly believe their wish has been granted.

Phaedrus


The world is your exercise-book, the pages on which you do your sums. It is not reality, although you can express reality there if you wish. You are also free to write nonsense, or lies, or to tear the pages.

Phaedrus


The confusion of a staff member is measured by the length of his memos.

Philip Hale Boston


Never look a gift horse in the mouth.

Philips Emo


Good government never depends upon laws, but upon the personal qualities of those who govern. The machinery of government is always subordinate to the will of those who administer that machinery. The most important element of government, therefore,

Phillips Emo


All hope abandon, ye who enter here!

Phillips Utah


A journey of a thousand miles starts under one's feet.

Physicist John von Neumann


Laws are like sausages. It's better not to see them being made.

Picasso


Nasrudin returned to his village from the imperial capital, and the villagers gathered around to hear what had passed. "At this time," said Nasrudin, "I only want to say that the King spoke to me." All the villagers but the stupidest ran off to spr

Picasso


Never have so many understood so little about so much.

Picasso Pablo


Rascal, am I? Take THAT!

Pike Bishop James


It is only the man whose intellect is clouded by his sexual impulse that could give the name of the fair sex to that undersized, narrow-shouldered, broad-hipped, and short-legged race.

Pile Stephen


That Xanthippe's husband should have become so great a philosopher is remarkable. Amid all the scolding, to be able to think! But he could not write: that was impossible. Socrates has not left us a single book.

Pile Stephen


The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it.

Pile Stephen


Without adventure, civilization is in full decay.

Pile Stephen


This is an especially good time for you vacationers who plan to fly, because the Reagan administration, as part of the same policy under which it recently sold Yellowstone National Park to Wayne Newton, has "deregulated" the airline industry. What t

Pile Stephen


Among all savage beasts, none is found so harmful as woman.

Pindar


One man's brain plus one other will produce one half as many ideas as one man would have produced alone. These two plus two more will produce half again as many ideas. These four plus four more begin to represent a creative meeting, and the ratio c

Pindar


My religion consists of a humble admiration of the illimitable superior spirit who reveals himself in the slight details we are able to perceive with our frail and feeble mind.

Pinero Sir Arthur Wing


I just got off the phone with Sonny Barger [President of the Hell's Angels]. He wants me to appear as a character witness for him at his murder trial and said he'd be glad to appear as a character witness on my behalf if I ever needed one. Needless

Pintauro Joseph


Please try to limit the amount of "this room doesn't have any bazingas" until you are told that those rooms are "punched out." Once punched out, we have a right to complain about atrocities, missing bazingas, and such.

Pirsig Robert


There is a good deal of solemn cant about the common interests of capital and labour. As matters stand, their only common interest is that of cutting each other's throat.

Platford Lois


Nothing endures but change.

Plato


Once harm has been done, even a fool understands it.

Plato


Instead of loving your enemies, treat your friends a little better.

Plato


I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.

Plato


It's not easy, being green.

Plato


A woman's a woman until the day she dies, but a man's only a man as long as he can.

Plato


Any road followed to its end leads precisely nowhere. Climb the mountain just a little to test it's a mountain. From the top of the mountain, you cannot see the mountain.

Plautus Titus Maccius


The absurd is the essential concept and the first truth.

Plautus Titus Maccius


Nothing will ever be attempted if all possible objections must be first overcome.

Plautus Titus Maccius


We have nowhere else to go... this is all we have.

Player Willis


If I were a grave-digger or even a hangman, there are some people I could work for with a great deal of enjoyment.

Plotinus


Divorce is a game played by lawyers.

Plummer Christopher


A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.

Plutarch


Arrakis teaches the attitude of the knife - chopping off what's incomplete and saying: "Now it's complete because it's ended here."

Pollard John G.


Nice guys finish last.

Pooh-Bah


All this wheeling and dealing around, why, it isn't for money, it's for fun. Money's just the way we keep score.

Pope


XXI: It's easy to get a loan unless you need it. XXII: If stock market experts were so expert, they would be buying stock, not selling advice. XXIII: Any task can be completed in only one-third more time than is currently estimated. XXIV:

Pope Alexander


It's pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness; poverty and wealth have both failed.

Pope Alexander


Generally speaking, the Way of the warrior is resolute acceptance of death.

Pope John Paul


Some scholars are like donkeys, they merely carry a lot of books.

Pope St. Gregory


Marijuana will be legal some day, because the many law students who now smoke pot will someday become congressmen and legalize it in order to protect themselves.

Poppins Mary


'Scuse me, while I kiss the sky!

Postmas James


You can get much further with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.

Pournelle Niven and


The only "ism" Hollywood believes in is plagiarism.

Powers Richard


Kindness is the beginning of cruelty.

Prabhupada Swami


A definition of teaching: casting fake pearls before real swine.

Prentice George D.


per year.

President Pat Paulsen for


Or you or I must yield up his life to Ahrimanes. I would rather it were you. I should have no hesitation in sacrificing my own life to spare yours, but we take stock next week, and it would not be fair on the company.

Presley Elvis


[District Attorneys] learn in District Attorney School that there are two sure-fire ways to get a lot of favorable publicity: (1) Go down and raid all the lockers in the local high school and confiscate 53 marijuana cigarettes and put them in a

Presley Elvis


You or I must yield up his life to Ahrimanes. I would rather it were you. I should have no hesitation in sacrificing my own life to spare yours, but we take stock next week, and it would not be fair on the company.

Price Don


Circumstances rule men; men do not rule circumstances.

Prochnow Herbert


Too much of everything is just enough.

Prochnow Herbert V.


Praise the sea; on shore remain.

Professor English


Would that my hand were as swift as my tongue.

Prosser D. Winkel and F.


Think sideways!

Protagoras


If a thing's worth having, it's worth cheating for.

Proust M.


Silence is the element in which great things fashion themselves.

Proverb A Yippie


Burnt Sienna. That's the best thing that ever happened to Crayolas.

Proverb Ancient Simian


Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths good theatre.

Proverb Chinese


Charity begins at home.

Proverb Chinese


He that bringeth a present, findeth the door open.

Proverb Recent Chinese


Two can Live as Cheaply as One for Half as Long.

Pryne Hester


There's no justice in this world.

Psalms


Marijuana will be legal some day, because the many law students who now smoke pot will someday become congressmen and legalize it in order to protect themselves.

Publilius


He that teaches himself has a fool for a master.

Publius Ovidius Naso


The future is a race between education and catastrophe.

Publius Terentius Afer


My advice to you, my violent friend, is to seek out gold and sit on it.

Publius Terentius Afer


For myself, I can only say that I am astonished and somewhat terrified at the results of this evening's experiments. Astonished at the wonderful power you have developed, and terrified at the thought that so much hideous and bad music may be put on

Publius Terentius Afer


If there were a school for, say, sheet metal workers, that after three years left its graduates as unprepared for their careers as does law school, it would be closed down in a minute, and no doubt by lawyers.

Publius Terentius Afer


The meek shall inherit the earth, but *not* its mineral rights.

Publius Vergilius Maro


If the English language made any sense, lackadaisical would have something to do with a shortage of flowers.

Publius Vergilius Maro


Practical people would be more practical if they would take a little more time for dreaming.

Publius Vergilius Maro


She applies her lipstick in spite of its contents: "greasy rouge, containing crushed and dried insect corpses for coloring, beeswax for stiffness, and olive oil to help it flow - the latter having the unfortunate tendency to go rancid several hours a

Publius Vergilius Maro


You have to run as fast as you can just to stay where you are. If you want to get anywhere, you'll have to run much faster.

Pudd'nhead Wilson's


Fame lost its appeal for me when I went into a public restroom and an autograph seeker handed me a pen and paper under the stall door.

Pulitzer Joseph


Well, the handwriting is on the floor.

Pusey Nathan


In spite of everything, I still believe that people are good at heart.

Pyrrhus


Before he became a hermit, Zarathud was a young Priest, and took great delight in making fools of his opponents in front of his followers. One day Zarathud took his students to a pleasant pasture and there he confronted The Sacred Chao while She

Python Monty


I never cheated an honest man, only rascals. They wanted something for nothing. I gave them nothing for something.

prayer Medieval


No problem is so formidable that you can't just walk away from it.

proverb Arab


The best you get is an even break.

proverb Arabian


No good deed goes unpunished.

proverb Chinese


All men know the utility of useful things; but they do not know the utility of futility.

proverb Chinese


This novel is not to be tossed lightly aside, but to be hurled with great force.

proverb Chinese


If you catch a man, throw him back.

proverb Chinese


Never buy from a rich salesman.

proverb Chinese


I value kindness to human beings first of all, and kindness to animals. I don't respect the law; I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger, the food cheaper, and old men

proverb Chinese


Imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality.

proverb Chinese


Some people say a front-engine car handles best. Some people say a rear-engine car handles best. I say a rented car handles best.

proverb Indian


Happiness isn't something you experience; it's something you remember.

proverb Italian


One big pile is better than two little piles.

proverb Polish


We can embody the truth, but we cannot know it.

proverb Spanish


If it were thought that anything I wrote was influenced by Robert Frost, I would take that particular work of mine, shred it, and flush it down the toilet, hoping not to clog the pipes. A more sententious, holding- forth old bore who expected every

proverb Turkish


There is much Obi-Wan did not tell you.

proverb. Scottish





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