Skill without imagination is craftsmanship and gives us many useful objects such as wickerwork picnic baskets. Imagination without skill gives us modern art.

Language is a virus from another planet.

I've touch'd the highest point of all my greatness; And from that full meridian of my glory I haste now to my setting. I shall fall, Like a bright exhalation in the evening And no man see me more.

If there is a sin against life, it consists perhaps not so much in despairing of life as in hoping for another life and in eluding the implacable grandeur of this life.

Men will fuck mud.

The first duty of a revolutionary is to get away with it.

Seize the day, put no trust in the morrow!

Politics is not the art of the possible. It consists in choosing between the disastrous and the unpalatable.

A man said to the Universe: "Sir, I exist!" "However," replied the Universe, "the fact has not created in me a sense of obligation."

Learning without thought is labor lost; thought without learning is perilous.

There are ten or twenty basic truths, and life is the process of discovering them over and over and over.

Extreme fear can neither fight nor fly.

If while you are in school, there is a shortage of qualified personnel in a particular field, then by the time you graduate with the necessary qualifications, that field's employment market is glutted.

"What's this? Trix? Aunt! Trix? You? You're after the prize! What is it?" He picked up the box and studied the back. "A glow-in-the-dark squid! Have you got it out of there yet?" He tilted the box, angling the little colored balls of cereal

Fill what's empty, empty what's full, scratch where it itches.

Facts, apart from their relationships, are like labels on empty bottles.

With women, I've got a long bamboo pole with a leather loop on the end of it. I slip the loop around their necks so they can't get away or come too close. Like catching snakes.

I'll never get off this planet.

Waste not fresh tears over old griefs.

Credit ... is the only enduring testimonial to man's confidence in man.

I went into the business for the money, and the art grew out of it. If people are disillusioned by that remark, I can't help it. It's the truth.

You don't have to think too hard when you talk to teachers.

The time spent on any item of the agenda [of a finance committee] will be in inverse proportion to the sum involved.

Well, we'll really have a party, but we've gotta post a guard outside.

For the fashion of Minas Tirith was such that it was built on seven levels, each delved into a hill, and about each was set a wall, and in each wall was a gate.

God gave man two ears and one tongue so that we listen twice as much as we speak.

However, on religious issues there can be little or no compromise. There is no position on which people are so immovable as their religious beliefs. There is no more powerful ally one can claim in a debate than Jesus Christ, or God, or Allah, or wha

Certainly the game is rigged. Don't let that stop you; if you don't bet, you can't win.

A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.

Bond reflected that good Americans were fine people and that most of them seemed to come from Texas.

"It's kind of fun to do the impossible."

Fame is a vapor; popularity an accident; the only earthly certainty is oblivion.

One big pile is better than two little piles.

The secret source of humor is not joy but sorrow; there is no humor in Heaven.

"She said, `I know you ... you cannot sing'. I said, `That's nothing, you should hear me play piano.'"

TV is chewing gum for the eyes.

Use what talents you possess: the woods would be very silent if no birds sang there except those that sang best.

Welcome to Lake Wobegon, where all the men are strong, the women are pretty, and the children are above-average.

The fact that it works is immaterial.

An older student came to Otis and said, "I have been to see a great number of teachers and I have given up a great number of pleasures. I have fasted, been celibate and stayed awake nights seeking enlightenment. I have given up everything I was aske

Let's say your wedding ring falls into your toaster, and when you stick your hand in to retrieve it, you suffer Pain and Suffering as well as Mental Anguish. You would sue: * The toaster manufacturer, for failure to include, in the instructions

We ... make the modern error of dignifying the Individual. We do everything we can to butter him up. We give him a name, assure him that he has certain inalienable rights, educate him, let him pass on his name to his brats and when he dies we give

We should have a great many fewer disputes in the world if only words were taken for what they are, the signs of our ideas only, and not for things themselves.

A memorandum is written not to inform the reader, but to protect the writer.

A platitude is simply a truth repeated till people get tired of hearing it.

Just because you like my stuff doesn't mean I owe you anything.

In the space of one hundred and seventy-six years the Mississippi has shortened itself two hundred and forty-two miles. Therefore ... in the Old Silurian Period the Mississippi River was upward of one million three hundred thousand miles long ... se

The less a statesman amounts to, the more he loves the flag.

For some reason a glaze passes over people's faces when you say "Canada". Maybe we should invade South Dakota or something.

Would ye both eat your cake and have your cake?

The primary theme of SoupCon is communication. The acronym "LEO" represents the secondary theme: Law Enforcement Officials The overall theme of SoupCon shall be: Avoiding Communication with Law Enforcement Officials

From a certain point onward there is no longer any turning back. That is the point that must be reached.

Immature artists imitate, mature artists steal.

The surest protection against temptation is cowardice.

Money can't buy happiness, but it can make you awfully comfortable while you're being miserable.

The mosquito is the state bird of New Jersey.

I paid a visit to my local precinct in Greenwich Village and asked a sergeant to show me some rape statistics. He politely obliged. That month there had been thirty-five rape complaints, an advance of ten over the same month for the previous year.

Consider well the proportions of things. It is better to be a young June-bug than an old bird of paradise.

Lord, what fools these mortals be!

Since a politician never believes what he says, he is surprised when others believe him.

It is Mr. Mellon's credo that $200,000,000 can do no wrong. Our offense consists in doubting it.

... [concerning quotation marks] even if we *___did* quote anybody in this business, it probably would be gibberish.

I am a deeply superficial person.

Many enraged psychiatrists are inciting a weary butcher. The butcher is weary and tired because he has cut meat and steak and lamb for hours and weeks. He does not desire to chant about anything with raving psychiatrists, but he sings about his gin

Maternity pay? Now every Tom, Dick and Harry will get pregnant.

There is no comfort without pain; thus we define salvation through suffering.

Oh what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive.

... but as records of courts and justice are admissible, it can easily be proved that powerful and malevolent magicians once existed and were a scourge to mankind. The evidence (including confession) upon which certain women were convicted of witch

Plumbing is one of the easier of do-it-yourself activities, requiring only a few simple tools and a willingness to stick your arm into a clogged toilet. In fact, you can solve many home plumbing problems, such as annoying faucet drip, merely by tur

Murray and Esther, a middle-aged Jewish couple, are touring Chile. Murray just got a new camera and is constantly snapping pictures. One day, without knowing it, he photographs a top-secret military installation. In an instant, armed troops surroun

The chief danger in life is that you may take too many precautions.

Reality is nothing but a collective hunch.

Generally speaking, the Way of the warrior is resolute acceptance of death.

... it still remains true that as a set of cognitive beliefs about the existence of God in any recognizable sense continuous with the great systems of the past, religious doctrines constitute a speculative hypothesis of an extremely low order of prob

Many a writer seems to think he is never profound except when he can't understand his own meaning.

The politician is someone who deals in man's problems of adjustment. To ask a politician to lead us is to ask the tail of a dog to lead the dog.

Why are you doing this to me? Because knowledge is torture, and there must be awareness before there is change.

There's nothing to writing. All you do is sit at a typewriter and open a vein.

According to my best recollection, I don't remember.

All this wheeling and dealing around, why, it isn't for money, it's for fun. Money's just the way we keep score.

Well begun is half done.

But if you wish at once to do nothing and to be respectable nowdays, the best pretext is to be at work on some profound study.

Of all possible committee reactions to any given agenda item, the reaction that will occur is the one which will liberate the greatest amount of hot air.

Civilization is the limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessities.

Satire is what closes Saturday night.

The problem with any unwritten law is that you don't know where to go to erase it.

"You little (such a one who, while wearing a copper nose ring, stands in a footbath atop Mount Raruaruaha during a heavy thunderstorm and shouts that Alohura, Goddess of Lightning, has the facial features of a diseased uloruaha root)!"

Traveling through hyperspace isn't like dusting crops, boy.

I am a man: nothing human is alien to me.

Zounds! I was never so bethumped with words since I first called my brother's father dad.

We all declare for liberty, but in using the same word we do not all mean the same thing.

The world's great men have not commonly been great scholars, nor its great scholars great men.

His followers called him Mahasamatman and said he was a god. He preferred to drop the Maha- and the -atman, however, and called himself Sam. He never claimed to be a god. But then, he never claimed not to be a god. Circum- stances being what they

The scum also rises.

In charity there is no excess.

Where you stand depends on where you sit.

The first requisite for immortality is death.

There's no such thing as an original sin.

The better part of valor is discretion.

A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the word you first thought of.

Between 1950 and 1952, a bored weatherman, stationed north of Hudson Bay, left a monument that neither government nor time can eradicate. Using a bulldozer abandoned by the Air Force, he spent two years and great effort pushing boulders into a single

Never let your sense of morals prevent you from doing what is right.

Television has proved that people will look at anything rather than each other.

There is no better way of exercising the imagination than the study of law. No poet ever interpreted nature as freely as a lawyer interprets truth.

To say you got a vote of confidence would be to say you needed a vote of confidence.

There is nothing wrong with Southern California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn't cure.

Mind! I don't mean to say that I know, of my own knowledge, what there is particularly dead about a door-nail. I might have been inclined, myself, to regard a coffin-nail as the deadest piece of ironmongery in the trade. But the wisdom of our ances

To restore a sense of reality, I think Walt Disney should have a Hardluckland.

If any man wishes to be humbled and mortified, let him become president of Harvard.

Under any conditions, anywhere, whatever you are doing, there is some ordinance under which you can be booked.

If a jury in a criminal trial stays out for more than twenty-four hours, it is certain to vote acquittal, save in those instances where it votes guilty.

Sho' they got to have it against the law. Shoot, ever'body git high, they wouldn't be nobody git up and feed the chickens. Hee-hee.

Exceptions prove the rule, and wreck the budget.

Repartee is something we think of twenty-four hours too late.

A lot of people I know believe in positive thinking, and so do I. I believe everything positively stinks.

Brahma said: Well, after hearing ten thousand explanations, a fool is no wiser. But an intelligent man needs only two thousand five hundred.

Certain passages in several laws have always defied interpretation and the most inexplicable must be a matter of opinion. A judge of the Court of Session of Scotland has sent the editors of this book his candidate which reads, "In the Nuts (unground

Have you ever stopped to think what it would be like to have a woman President? "I can't deal with the Russians today. Not now. I've got my period."

One of the lessons of history is that nothing is often a good thing to do and always a clever thing to say.

If the ends don't justify the means, then what does?

When a man assumes a public trust, he should consider himself as public property.

There's such a thing as too much point on a pencil.

The Army needs leaders the way a foot needs a big toe.

It has long been an axiom of mine that the little things are infinitely the most important.

Just once I would like to persuade the audience not to wear any article of blue denim. If only they could see themselves in a pair of brown corduroys like mine instead of this awful, boring blue denim. I don't enjoy the sky or sea as much as I used