He who knows, does not speak. He who speaks, does not know.

To generalize is to be an idiot.

I BET WHAT HAPPENED was they discovered fire and invented the wheel on the same day. Then that night, they burned the wheel.

If men are not afraid to die, it is of no avail to threaten them with death. If men live in constant fear of dying, And if breaking the law means a man will be killed, Who will dare to break the law? There is always an official executioner. If

A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds.

If a man has a strong faith he can indulge in the luxury of skepticism.

Things are more like they are today than they ever were before.

Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known.

Trust in Allah, but tie your camel.

For thee the wonder-working earth puts forth sweet flowers.

Experience is a good teacher, but she sends in terrific bills.

After his Ignoble Disgrace, Satan was being expelled from Heaven. As he passed through the Gates, he paused a moment in thought, and turned to God and said, "A new creature called Man, I hear, is soon to be created." "This is true," He replied.

Work Hard. Rock Hard. Eat Hard. Sleep Hard. Grow Big. Wear Glasses If You Need 'Em.

Sho' they got to have it against the law. Shoot, ever'body git high, they wouldn't be nobody git up and feed the chickens. Hee-hee.

Judges, as a class, display, in the matter of arranging alimony, that reckless generosity which is found only in men who are giving away someone else's cash.

It's not so hard to lift yourself by your bootstraps once you're off the ground.

Before you ask more questions, think about whether you really want to know the answers.

If God is One, what is bad?

Since everything in life is but an experience perfect in being what it is, having nothing to do with good or bad, acceptance or rejection, one may well burst out in laughter.

The Law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich, as well as the poor, to sleep under the bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread.

Woman is generally so bad that the difference between a good and a bad woman scarcely exists.

When the speaker and he to whom he is speaks do not understand, that is metaphysics.

Think sideways!

"I'm dying," he croaked. "My experiment was a success," the chemist retorted . "You can't really train a beagle," he dogmatized. "That's no beagle, it's a mongrel," she muttered. "The fire is going out," he bellowed. "Bad marksmanship," the h

God gave man two ears and one tongue so that we listen twice as much as we speak.

... Our second completely true news item was sent to me by Mr. H. Boyce Connell Jr. of Atlanta, Ga., where he is involved in a law firm. One thing I like about the South is, folks there care about tradition. If somebody gets handed a name like "H.

"I only touch base with reality on an as-needed basis!"

We all live in a state of ambitious poverty.

There's no such thing as a free lunch.

Nice guys finish last.

There is a natural hootchy-kootchy to a goldfish.

There are two kinds of pedestrians... the quick and the dead.

The only reward of virtue is virtue.

I have a simple philosophy: Fill what's empty. Empty what's full. Scratch where it itches.

Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing at the moment.

Great acts are made up of small deeds.

VI: A hungry dog hunts best. A hungrier dog hunts even better. VII: Decreased business base increases overhead. So does increased business base. VIII: The most unsuccessful four years in the education of a cost-estimator is fifth grade ari

A word to the wise is enough.

The trouble with opportunity is that it always comes disguised as hard work.

Nice guys finish last, but we get to sleep in.

Let sleeping dogs lie.

If a fool persists in his folly he shall become wise.

No is no negative in a woman's mouth.

It has long been noticed that juries are pitiless for robbery and full of indulgence for infanticide. A question of interest, my dear Sir! The jury is afraid of being robbed and has passed the age when it could be a victim of infanticide.

Why does a hearse horse snicker, hauling a lawyer away?

The seven deadly sins ... Food, clothing, firing, rent, taxes, respectability and children. Nothing can lift those seven milestones from man's neck but money; and the spirit cannot soar until the milestones are lifted.

If a thing's worth doing, it is worth doing badly.

Where it is a duty to worship the sun it is pretty sure to be a crime to examine the laws of heat.

Business will be either better or worse.

You or I must yield up his life to Ahrimanes. I would rather it were you. I should have no hesitation in sacrificing my own life to spare yours, but we take stock next week, and it would not be fair on the company.

True to our past we work with an inherited, observed, and accepted vision of personal futility, and of the beauty of the world.

Take care of the luxuries and the necessities will take care of themselves.

What we cannot speak about we must pass over in silence.

The more I want to get something done, the less I call it work.

There is nothing so easy but that it becomes difficult when you do it reluctantly.

What one believes to be true either is true or becomes true.

A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step.

When properly administered, vacations do not diminish productivity: for every week you're away and get nothing done, there's another when your boss is away and you get twice as much done.

You k'n hide de fier, but w'at you gwine do wid de smoke?

Catharsis is something I associate with pornography and crossword puzzles.

When your work speaks for itself, don't interrupt.

To every Ph.D. there is an equal and opposite Ph.D.

Intellect annuls Fate. So far as a man thinks, he is free.

We can embody the truth, but we cannot know it.

I remember when legal used to mean lawful, now it means some kind of loophole.

Lo! Men have become the tool of their tools.

You can get much further with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.

Advertising is the rattling of a stick inside a swill bucket.

The problem with any unwritten law is that you don't know where to go to erase it.

By the middle 1880's, practically all the roads except those in the South, were of the present standard gauge. The southern roads were still five feet between rails. It was decided to change the gauge of all southern roads to standard, in one day

One hundred women are not worth a single testicle.

Take the folks at Coca-Cola. For many years, they were content to sit back and make the same old carbonated beverage. It was a good beverage, no question about it; generations of people had grown up drinking it and doing the experiment in sixth gr

Odets, where is thy sting?

The life which is unexamined is not worth living.

He who has the courage to laugh is almost as much a master of the world as he who is ready to die.

Being a woman is a terribly difficult trade, since it consists principally of dealings with men.

When you make your mark in the world, watch out for guys with erasers.

To have died once is enough.

Mirrors should reflect a little before throwing back images.

Faith is under the left nipple.

You can always pick up your needle and move to another groove.

In every hierarchy the cream rises until it sours.

Reality is bad enough, why should I tell the truth?

Love the sea? I dote upon it

Money can't buy love, but it improves your bargaining position.

The means-and-ends moralists, or non-doers, always end up on their ends without any means.

There is no doubt that my lawyer is honest. For example, when he filed his income tax return last year, he declared half of his salary as 'unearned income.'

There is a good deal of solemn cant about the common interests of capital and labour. As matters stand, their only common interest is that of cutting each other's throat.

Divorce is a game played by lawyers.

Every person, all the events in your life are there because you have drawn them there. What you choose to do with them is up to you.

An older student came to Otis and said, "I have been to see a great number of teachers and I have given up a great number of pleasures. I have fasted, been celibate and stayed awake nights seeking enlightenment. I have given up everything I was aske

Three minutes' thought would suffice to find this out; but thought is irksome and three minutes is a long time.

One man's Mede is another man's Persian.

Beauty is one of the rare things which does not lead to doubt of God.

I'm going to raise an issue and stick it in your ear.

Non-Determinism is not meant to be reasonable.

"Hey, Sam, how about a loan?" "Whattaya need?" "Oh, about $500." "Whattaya got for collateral?" "Whattaya need?" "How about an eye?"

One good turn deserves another.

Anything is possible on paper.

Solipsists of the World... you are already united.

A lot of people I know believe in positive thinking, and so do I. I believe everything positively stinks.

Life is one long struggle in the dark.

What you want, what you're hanging around in the world waiting for, is for something to occur to you.

You can't run away forever, But there's nothing wrong with getting a good head start.

Fortune and love befriend the bold.

Pity the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.

A man's house is his castle.

Nothing succeeds like excess.

If there is no wind, row.

The best executive is one who has sense enough to pick good people to do what he wants done, and self-restraint enough to keep from meddling with them while they do it.

If you aren't rich you should always look useful.

What one fool can do, another can.

When you die, you lose a very important part of your life.

I don't have any solution but I certainly admire the problem.

She cried, and the judge wiped her tears with my checkbook.

There's no justice in this world.

When alerted to an intrusion by tinkling glass or otherwise, 1) Calm yourself 2) Identify the intruder 3) If hostile, kill him. Step number 3 is of particular importance. If you leave the guy alive out of misguided softheartedness, he will repay y

I have seen the future and it is just like the present, only longer.

The two most beautiful words in the English language are "Cheque Enclosed."

Knowledge is power.

A beginning is the time for taking the most delicate care that balances are correct.

"If once a man indulges himself in murder, very soon he comes to think little of robbing; and from robbing he next comes to drinking and Sabbath-breaking, and from that to incivility and procrastination."

With Congress, every time they make a joke it's a law; and every time they make a law it's a joke.

I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday and I love today.

All the big corporations depreciate their possessions, and you can, too, provided you use them for business purposes. For example, if you subscribe to the Wall Street Journal, a business-related newspaper, you can deduct the cost of your house, beca