"I don't know whether God exists or not, but it makes no difference to me." "It's not like He's passing out free money or anything."

It's not easy, being green.

I never deny, I never contradict. I sometimes forget.

Who does not trust enough will not be trusted.

I think we're in trouble.

All is well that ends well.

I used to be disgusted, now I find I'm just amused.

Facts, apart from their relationships, are like labels on empty bottles.

The superior man understands what is right; the inferior man understands what will sell.

You guys have been practicing discrimination for years. Now it's our turn.

REPORTER: Senator, are you for or against the MX missile system? SENATOR: Bob, the MX missile system reminds me of an old saying that the country folk in my state like to say. It goes like this: "You can carry a pig for six miles, but if you set i

In regards to Oral Roberts' claim that God told him that he would die unless he received $20 million by March, God's lawyers have stated that their client has not spoken with Roberts for several years. Off the record, God has stated that "If I had w

The rights and interests of the laboring man will be protected and cared for not by our labor agitators, but by the Christian men to whom God in his infinite wisdom has given control of property interests of the country, and upon the successful manag

Kiss me, Kate, we will be married o' Sunday.

Ours is a world of nuclear giants and ethical infants.

The primary cause of failure in electrical appliances is an expired warranty. Often, you can get an appliance running again simply by changing the warranty expiration date with a 15/64-inch felt-tipped marker.

Most Texans think Hanukkah is some sort of duck call.

No man's ambition has a right to stand in the way of performing a simple act of justice.

"When are you BUTTHEADS gonna learn that you can't oppose Gestapo tactics *with* Gestapo tactics?"

"Every morning, I get up and look through the 'Forbes' list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work"

While your friend holds you affectionately by both your hands you are safe, for you can watch both of his.

From the cradle to the coffin underwear comes first.

At twenty-six, Kate, though not promiscuous, had slept with most of the decent men in public life.

To jaw-jaw is better than to war-war.

Don't get the idea that I'm one of those goddamn radicals. Don't get the idea that I'm knocking the American system.

We are so fond of each other because our ailments are the same.

Nothing in life is so exhilarating as to be shot at without result.

Your friends will know you better in the first minute you meet than your acquaintances will know you in a thousand years.

One good turn deserves another.

The big cities of America are becoming Third World countries.

Immature poets imitate, mature poets steal.

The future is a race between education and catastrophe.

I don't mind what Congress does, as long as they don't do it in the streets and frighten the horses.

The superfluous is very necessary.

Seeing that death, a necessary end, Will come when it will come.

Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.

The meek shall inherit the earth, but *not* its mineral rights.

Why does a hearse horse snicker, hauling a lawyer away?

Sherry [Thomas Sheridan] is dull, naturally dull; but it must have taken him a great deal of pains to become what we now see him. Such an excess of stupidity, sir, is not in Nature.

The longer I am out of office, the more infallible I appear to myself.

His followers called him Mahasamatman and said he was a god. He preferred to drop the Maha- and the -atman, however, and called himself Sam. He never claimed to be a god. But then, he never claimed not to be a god. Circum- stances being what they

The adjective is the banana peel of the parts of speech.

You know it's going to be a long day when you get up, shave and shower, start to get dressed and your shoes are still warm.

Put a rogue in the limelight and he will act like an honest man.

"After I asked him what he meant, he replied that freedom consisted of the unimpeded right to get rich, to use his ability, no matter what the cost to others, to win advancement."

The Worst Jury A murder trial at Manitoba in February 1978 was well advanced, when one juror revealed that he was completely deaf and did not have the remotest clue what was happening. The judge, Mr. Justice Solomon, asked him if he had heard any

"The Army is a place where you get up early in the morning to be yelled at by people with short haircuts and tiny brains."

He liked fishing a little too much, and he believed that work was something a man did when he had to. He had always been able to get along well enough without it, especially for the last couple of years.

When in doubt, use brute force.

The problem with me is that I am fifty or one hundred years ahead of my time. My speed is very fast. Some ministers have had to drop out of my government because they could not keep up.

An aphorism is never exactly true; it is either a half-truth or one-and-a-half truths.

When in doubt, do it. It's much easier to apologize than to get permission.

Never have so many understood so little about so much.

The nearer to the church, the further from God.

An office party is not, as is sometimes supposed the Managing Director's chance to kiss the tea-girl. It is the tea-girl's chance to kiss the Managing Director (however bizarre an ambition this may seem to anyone who has seen the Managing Director f

If I had a formula for bypassing trouble, I would not pass it around. Trouble creates a capacity to handle it. I don't say embrace trouble; that's as bad as treating it as an enemy. But I do say meet it as a friend, for you'll see a lot of it and y

"Rights" is a fictional abstraction. No one has "Rights", neither machines nor flesh-and-blood. Persons... have opportunities, not rights, which they use or do not use.

I have nothing but utter contempt for the courts of this land.

Crucifixes are sexy because there's a naked man on them.

When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.

If I have to lay an egg for my country, I'll do it.

Words have a longer life than deeds.

We may not be able to persuade Hindus that Jesus and not Vishnu should govern their spiritual horizon, nor Moslems that Lord Buddha is at the center of their spiritual universe, nor Hebrews that Mohammed is a major prohpet, nor Christians that Shinto

Living in LA is like not having a date on Saturday night.

He was a fiddler, and consequently a rogue.

A strong conviction that something must be done is the parent of many bad measures.

Modern art is what happens when painters stop looking at girls and persuade themselves that they have a better idea.

The most common given name in the world is Mohammad; the most common family name in the world is Chang. Can you imagine the enormous number of people in the world named Mohammad Chang?

"Hi, I'm Preston A. Mantis, president of Consumers Retail Law Outlet. As you can see by my suit and the fact that I have all these books of equal height on the shelves behind me, I am a trained legal attorney. Do you have a car or a job? Do you ever

A prediction is worth twenty explanations.

They sentenced me to twenty years of boredom for trying to change the system from within. I'm coming now I'm coming to reward them. First we take Manhattan, then we take Berlin. I'm guided by a signal in the heavens. I'm guided by this birthmark

Events are not affected, they develop.

"Spare no expense to save money on this one."

When the speaker and he to whom he is speaks do not understand, that is metaphysics.

The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence.

I'll burn my books.

If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that don't get wet you can keep.

If you give Congress a chance to vote on both sides of an issue, it will always do it.

Anyone who knows history, particularly the history of Europe, will, I think, recognize that the domination of education or of government by any one particular religious faith is never a happy arrangement for the people.

The streets are safe in Philadelphia, it's only the people who make them unsafe.

Comparing information and knowledge is like asking whether the fatness of a pig is more or less green than the designated hitter rule."

Maryel brought her bat into Exit once and started whacking people on the dance floor. Now everyone's doing it. It's called grand slam dancing.

I DON'T THINK I'M ALONE when I say I'd like to see more and more planets fall under the ruthless domination of our solar system.

The most costly of all follies is to believe passionately in the palpably not true. It is the chief occupation of mankind.

"Is it just me, or does anyone else read `bible humpers' every time someone writes `bible thumpers?'

Nothing will ever be attempted if all possible objections must be first overcome.

The life which is unexamined is not worth living.

If Karl, instead of writing a lot about Capital, had made a lot of Capital, it would have been much better.

Home is where the hurt is.

If there were a school for, say, sheet metal workers, that after three years left its graduates as unprepared for their careers as does law school, it would be closed down in a minute, and no doubt by lawyers.

There is no fool to the old fool.

The polite thing to do has always been to address people as they wish to be addressed, to treat them in a way they think dignified. But it is equally important to accept and tolerate different standards of courtesy, not expecting everyone else to ad

It's odd, and a little unsettling, to reflect upon the fact that English is the only major language in which "I" is capitalized; in many other languages "You" is capitalized and the "i" is lower case.

Atlee is a very modest man. And with reason.

If we could sell our experiences for what they cost us, we would all be millionaires.

When alerted to an intrusion by tinkling glass or otherwise, 1) Calm yourself 2) Identify the intruder 3) If hostile, kill him. Step number 3 is of particular importance. If you leave the guy alive out of misguided softheartedness, he will repay y

There appears to be irrefutable evidence that the mere fact of overcrowding induces violence.

Practical people would be more practical if they would take a little more time for dreaming.

The only thing that stops God from sending a second Flood is that the first one was useless.

The real purpose of books is to trap the mind into doing its own thinking.

"Jesus saves...but Gretzky gets the rebound!"

Anybody has a right to evade taxes if he can get away with it. No citizen has a moral obligation to assist in maintaining his government.

Hain't we got all the fools in town on our side? And hain't that a big enough majority in any town?

If reporters don't know that truth is plural, they ought to be lawyers.

Don't buy a landslide. I don't want to have to pay for one more vote than I have to.

Women are nothing but machines for producing children.

What passes for optimism is most often the effect of an intellectual error.

The worst is not so long as we can say "This is the worst."

You have all the characteristics of a popular politician: a horrible voice, bad breeding, and a vulgar manner.

Once is happenstance, Twice is coincidence, Three times is enemy action.

We are anthill men upon an anthill world.

If society fits you comfortably enough, you call it freedom.

Another possible source of guidance for teenagers is television, but television's message has always been that the need for truth, wisdom and world peace pales by comparison with the need for a toothpaste that offers whiter teeth *___and* fresher

In a country where the sole employer is the State, opposition means death by slow starvation. The old principle: Who does not work shall not eat, has been replaced by a new one: Who does not obey shall not eat.

A man said to the Universe: "Sir, I exist!" "However," replied the Universe, "the fact has not created in me a sense of obligation."

I have never understood this liking for war. It panders to instincts already catered for within the scope of any respectable domestic establishment.

Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.

The Hollywood tradition I like best is called "sucking up to the stars."

A memorandum is written not to inform the reader, but to protect the writer.

A Galileo could no more be elected president of the United States than he could be elected Pope of Rome. Both high posts are reserved for men favored by God with an extraordinary genius for swathing the bitter facts of life in bandages of self-illus

If you have to ask what jazz is, you'll never know.

Small things make base men proud.

Too much is just enough.

Gaiety is the most outstanding feature of the Soviet Union.

Why attack God? He may be as miserable as we are.

Work is of two kinds: first, altering the position of matter at or near the earth's surface relative to other matter; second, telling other people to do so.

The world is full of people who have never, since childhood, met an open doorway with an open mind.

Facts are the enemy of truth.

Unquestionably, there is progress. The average American now pays out twice as much in taxes as he formerly got in wages.

I do not believe in the creed professed by the Jewish Church, by the Roman Church, by the Greek Church, by the Turkish Church, by the Protestant Church, nor by any Church that I know of. My own mind is my own Church.

It has long been noticed that juries are pitiless for robbery and full of indulgence for infanticide. A question of interest, my dear Sir! The jury is afraid of being robbed and has passed the age when it could be a victim of infanticide.

Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.

You never know what is enough until you know what is more than enough.

Better the prince of some inferior court, Than second, or less, in beatific light.

Do not seek death; death will find you. But seek the road which makes death a fulfillment.

L'hazard ne favorise que l'esprit prepare.

There is no cure for birth and death other than to enjoy the interval.

The `loner' may be respected, but he is always resented by his colleagues, for he seems to be passing a critical judgment on them, when he may be simply making a limiting statement about himself.

Lay on, MacDuff, and curs'd be him who first cries, "Hold, enough!".

America may be unique in being a country which has leapt from barbarism to decadence without touching civilization.

Things are more like they are today than they ever were before.

Work is the crab grass in the lawn of life.

Imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality.

I'll never get off this planet.

I'm going to Vietnam at the request of the White House. President Johnson says a war isn't really a war without my jokes.

Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even where there is no river.

We are governed not by armies and police but by ideas.

The so-called lessons of history are for the most part the rationalizations of the victors. History is written by the survivors.

You can destroy your now by worrying about tomorrow.

Tallulah Bankhead barged down the Nile last night as Cleopatra and sank.

BS: You remind me of a man. B: What man? BS: The man with the power. B: What power? BS: The power of voodoo. B: Voodoo? BS: You do. B: Do what? BS: Remind me of a man. B: What man? BS: The man with the power...

Every person, all the events in your life are there because you have drawn them there. What you choose to do with them is up to you.

Television is now so desperately hungry for material that it is scraping the top of the barrel.

Well, he didn't know what to do, so he decided to look at the government, to see what they did, and scale it down and run his life that way.

When your work speaks for itself, don't interrupt.

It is Mr. Mellon's credo that $200,000,000 can do no wrong. Our offense consists in doubting it.

Termiter's argument that God is His own grandmother generated a surprising amount of controversy among Church leaders, who on the one hand considered the argument unsupported by scripture but on the other hand were unwilling to risk offending God's g

Suspicion always haunts the guilty mind.

The control of the production of wealth is the control of human life itself.

Being a miner, as soon as you're too old and tired and sick and stupid to do your job properly, you have to go, where the very opposite applies with the judges.

Delores breezed along the surface of her life like a flat stone forever skipping along smooth water, rippling reality sporadically but oblivious to it consistently, until she finally lost momentum, sank, and due to an overdose of flouride as a child

To listen to some devout people, one would imagine that God never laughs.

I would much rather have men ask why I have no statue, than why I have one.

"If we relied conclusively on scientific data for every one of our findings, I'm afraid all of our work would be inconclusive."

Go ahead... make my day.

The greatest productive force is human selfishness.

She hates testicles, thus limiting the men she can admire to Democratic candidates for president.

American business long ago gave up on demanding that prospective employees be honest and hardworking. It has even stopped hoping for employees who are educated enough that they can tell the difference between the men's room and the women's room with

An idea is an eye given by God for the seeing of God. Some of these eyes we cannot bear to look out of, we blind them as quickly as possible.

For years a secret shame destroyed my peace

I owe the government $3400 in taxes. So I sent them two hammers and a toilet seat.

No television performance takes as much preparation as an off-the-cuff talk.

You can't depend on the man who made the mess to clean it up.

What an artist dies with me!

WHENEVER ANYBODY SAYS he's struggling to become a human being I have to laugh because the apes beat him to it by about a million years. Struggle to become a parrot or something.

Truth never comes into the world but like a bastard, to the ignominy of him that brought her birth.

If we spoke a different language, we would perceive a somewhat different world.

The term "fire" brings up visions of violence and mayhem and the ugly scene of shooting employees who make mistakes. We will now refer to this process as "deleting" an employee (much as a file is deleted from a disk). The employee is simply there o

Too clever is dumb.

Democracy means simply the bludgeoning of the people by the people for the people.

The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers.

If a man stay away from his wife for seven years, the law presumes the separation to have killed him; yet according to our daily experience, it might well prolong his life.

Coincidences are spiritual puns.

I often quote myself; it adds spice to my conversation.

You can no more win a war than you can win an earthquake.

Lord, what fools these mortals be!

Authors (and perhaps columnists) eventually rise to the top of whatever depths they were once able to plumb.

I'm fed up to the ears with old men dreaming up wars for young men to die in.

Water, taken in moderation cannot hurt anybody.

The reasons that each of these countries has had to renege on its financial committments were all somewhat different: Argentina because of a war, Poland because of its vast misguided overinvestment in heavy industry, Honduras because the coffee price

Many a long dispute between divines may thus be abridged: It is so. It is not so. It is so. It is not so.

When I came back to Dublin I was courtmartialed in my absence and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence.

We should keep the Panama Canal. After all, we stole it fair and square.

Many enraged psychiatrists are inciting a weary butcher. The butcher is weary and tired because he has cut meat and steak and lamb for hours and weeks. He does not desire to chant about anything with raving psychiatrists, but he sings about his gin

Charity begins at home.

No poet or novelist wishes he was the only one who ever lived, but most of them wish they were the only one alive, and quite a number fondly believe their wish has been granted.

How can you govern a nation which has 246 kinds of cheese?

Life is too short to be taken seriously.

Dear Ann Landers: My husband watches the TV preachers every Sunday. He claims one minister said there are 350 different sins. My husband wants to know if you can get the list. He thinks he is missing something.

Whenever the literary German dives into a sentence, that is the last you are going to see of him until he emerges on the other side of his Atlantic with his verb in his mouth.

The ideal voice for radio may be defined as showing no substance, no sex, no owner, and a message of importance for every housewife.

Too often I find that the volume of paper expands to fill the available briefcases.

Nothing is more admirable than the fortitude with which millionaires tolerate the disadvantages of their wealth.

He that bringeth a present, findeth the door open.

Democrats buy most of the books that have been banned somewhere. Republicans form censorship committees and read them as a group. Republicans consume three-fourths of the rutabaga produced in the USA. The remainder is thrown out. Republicans usu

If someone had told me I would be Pope one day, I would have studied harder.

I'd just as soon kiss a Wookie.

Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet?

A right is not what someone gives you; it's what no one can take from you.

For fools rush in where angels fear to tread.

God is the tangential point between zero and infinity.

Fraud is the homage that force pays to reason.

Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.

A university is what a college becomes when the faculty loses interest in students.

The Crown is full of it!

When neither their poverty nor their honor is touched, the majority of men live content.

There but for the grace of God, goes God.

The fact that it works is immaterial.

There is only one word for aid that is genuinely without strings, and that word is blackmail.

Sweet April showers do spring May flowers.

Learning without thought is labor lost; thought without learning is perilous.

If the path be beautiful, let us not ask where it leads.

While we are sleeping, two-thirds of the world is plotting to do us in.

There's nothing in the middle of the road but yellow stripes and dead armadillos.

Well begun is half done.

Any priest or shaman must be presumed guilty until proved innocent.

In Hollywood, all marriages are happy. It's trying to live together afterwards that causes the problems.

Education is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember from time to time that nothing that is worth knowing can be taught.

The universe is made of stories, not of atoms.

Sorry 'bout that sweat, honey. That's just holy water.

The intelligence of any discussion diminishes with the square of the number of participants.

If a shameless woman expects to be defiled and then dies of her fierce love because you do not consent, will chastity also be homicide?

Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely.

A copy of the universe is not what is required of art; one of the damned things is ample.

If we suffer tamely a lawless attack upon our liberty, we encourage it, and involve others in our doom.

You're always thinking you're gonna be the one that makes 'em act different.

You may be sure that when a man begins to call himself a "realist," he is preparing to do something he is secretly ashamed of doing.

You don't have to explain something you never said.

Rule the Empire through force.

All I know is what the words know, and dead things, and that makes a handsome little sum, with a beginning and a middle and an end, as in the well-built phrase and the long sonata of the dead.

Inglish Spocken Hier: some mangled translations Various signs in Poland: Right turn toward immediate outside. Go soothingly in the snow, as there lurk the ski demons. Five o'clock tea at all hours. In a men's washroom in Sidney:

Let us never negotiate out of fear, but let us never fear to negotiate.

Extreme fear can neither fight nor fly.

"We demand rigidly defined areas of doubt and uncertainty!"

Success is the sole earthly judge of right and wrong.

If you live in New York, even if you're Catholic, you're Jewish.

Tertullian was born in Carthage somewhere about 160 A.D. He was a pagan, and he abandoned himself to the lascivious life of his city until about his 35th year, when he became a Christian. [...] To him is ascribed the sublime confession: Credo quia

Having the fewest wants, I am nearest to the gods.

When we are planning for posterity, we ought to remember that virtue is not hereditary.

Art is a jealous mistress.

I see where we are starting to pay some attention to our neigbors to the south. We could never understand why Mexico wasn't just crazy about us; for we have always had their good will, and oil and minerals, at heart.

Let's say your wedding ring falls into your toaster, and when you stick your hand in to retrieve it, you suffer Pain and Suffering as well as Mental Anguish. You would sue: * The toaster manufacturer, for failure to include, in the instructions

The whole religious complexion of the modern world is due to the absence from Jerusalem of a lunatic asylum.

Being in the army is like being in the Boy Scouts, except that the Boy Scouts have adult supervision.

Don't do the crime, if you can't do the time.

You'd best be snoozin', 'cause you don't be gettin' no work done at 5 a.m. anyway.

The 'A' is for content, the 'minus' is for not typing it. Don't ever do this to my eyes again.

There is always something new out of Africa.

A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.

"Nuclear war would really set back cable."

I'm always looking for a new idea that will be more productive than its cost.

I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday and I love today.

I value kindness to human beings first of all, and kindness to animals. I don't respect the law; I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger, the food cheaper, and old men

When I have one foot in the grave I will tell the truth about women. I shall tell it, jump into my coffin, pull the lid over me, and say, "Do what you like now."

No-one would remember the Good Samaritan if he had only had good intentions. He had money as well.

According to my best recollection, I don't remember.

Thank God I've always avoided persecuting my enemies.

In Marseilles they make half the toilet soap we consume in America, but the Marseillaise only have a vague theoretical idea of its use, which they have obtained from books of travel.

April 1 This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four.

It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.

We could do that, but it would be wrong, that's for sure.

I never made a mistake in my life. I thought I did once, but I was wrong.

Well, the handwriting is on the floor.

This was the most unkindest cut of all.

Certain passages in several laws have always defied interpretation and the most inexplicable must be a matter of opinion. A judge of the Court of Session of Scotland has sent the editors of this book his candidate which reads, "In the Nuts (unground

The fact that people are poor or discriminated against doesn't necessarily endow them with any special qualities of justice, nobility, charity or compassion.

No group of professionals meets except to conspire against the public at large.

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.

Who can take the demands of the SDS seriously?

To stay young requires unceasing cultivation of the ability to unlearn old falsehoods.

The illegal we do immediately. The unconstitutional takes a little longer.

I will honour Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year. I will live in the Past, the Present, and the Future. The Spirits of all Three shall strive within me. I will not shut out the lessons that they teach. Oh, tell me that I may s

Moneyliness is next to Godliness.

"Hi, I'm Preston A. Mantis, president of Consumers Retail Law Outlet. As you can see by my suit and the fact that I have all these books of equal height on the shelves behind me, I am a trained legal attorney. Do you have a car or a job? Do you ever

No is no negative in a woman's mouth.

In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes.

The salary of the chief executive of the large corporation is not a market award for achievement. It is frequently in the nature of a warm personal gesture by the individual to himself.

Adde parvum parvo manus acervus erit. [Add little to little and there will be a big pile.]

Every man thinks God is on his side. The rich and powerful know that he is.

Hark ye, Clinker, you are a most notorious offender. You stand convicted of sickness, hunger, wretchedness, and want.

For a light heart lives long.

All diplomacy is a continuation of war by other means.

Chance is perhaps the work of God when He did not want to sign.

Murray and Esther, a middle-aged Jewish couple, are touring Chile. Murray just got a new camera and is constantly snapping pictures. One day, without knowing it, he photographs a top-secret military installation. In an instant, armed troops surroun

There can be no daily democracy without daily citizenship.

Writing is turning one's worst moments into money.

[District Attorneys] learn in District Attorney School that there are two sure-fire ways to get a lot of favorable publicity: (1) Go down and raid all the lockers in the local high school and confiscate 53 marijuana cigarettes and put them in a

History is nothing but a collection of fables and useless trifles, cluttered up with a mass of unnecessary figures and proper names.

If Presidents don't do it to their wives, they do it to the country.

What sane person could live in this world and not be crazy?

Aim for the moon. If you miss, you may hit a star.

I have gained this by philosophy: that I do without being commanded what others do only from fear of the law.

We are not a loved organization, but we are a respected one.

There is no delight the equal of dread. As long as it is somebody else's.

To generalize is to be an idiot.

Anybody that wants the presidency so much that he'll spend two years organising and campaigning for it is not to be trusted with the office.

It is not enough that I should succeed. Others must fail.

When in doubt, have a man come through the door with a gun in his hand.

The two oldest professions in the world have been ruined by amateurs.

The use of money is all the advantage there is to having money.

Law stands mute in the midst of arms.

From a certain point onward there is no longer any turning back. That is the point that must be reached.

Anything that is worth doing has been done frequently. Things hitherto undone should be given, I suspect, a wide berth.

It's always darkest just before the lights go out.

A woman who is guided by the head and not by the heart is a social pestilence: she has all the defects of the passionate and affectionate woman, with none of her compensations; she is without pity, without love, without virtue, without sex.

And ever has it been known that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation.

Fill what's empty, empty what's full, scratch where it itches.

Liberals are the first to dump you if you con them or get into trouble. Conservatives are better. They never run out on you.

God help those who do not help themselves.

I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.

Reality is nothing but a collective hunch.