A witty saying proves nothing.

At ebb tide I wrote a line upon the sand, and gave it all my heart and all my soul. At flood tide I returned to read what I had inscribed and found my ignorance upon the shore.

There must be more to life than having everything.

The more laws and order are made prominent, the more thieves and robbers there will be.

He thought of Musashi, the Sword Saint, standing in his garden more than three hundred years ago. "What is the 'Body of a rock'?" he was asked. In answer, Musashi summoned a pupil of his and bid him kill himself by slashing his abdomen with a knife.

Never buy from a rich salesman.

The superfluous is very necessary.

Yet creeds mean very little, Coth answered the dark god, still speaking almost gently. The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this is true.

If the path be beautiful, let us not ask where it leads.

Sometimes even to live is an act of courage.

No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.

Aim for the moon. If you miss, you may hit a star.

About the time we think we can make ends meet, somebody moves the ends.

You can fool all the people all of the time if the advertising is right and the budget is big enough.

It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle if it is lightly greased.

...He who laughs does not believe in what he laughs at, but neither does he hate it. Therefore, laughing at evil means not preparing oneself to combat it, and laughing at good means denying the power through which good is self-propagating.

Two wrongs are only the beginning.

The most delightful day after the one on which you buy a cottage in the country is the one on which you resell it.

What we wish, that we readily believe.

Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead.

The rights and interests of the laboring man will be protected and cared for not by our labor agitators, but by the Christian men to whom God in his infinite wisdom has given control of property interests of the country, and upon the successful manag

The world wants to be deceived.

After the game the king and the pawn go in the same box.

"You would do well not to imagine profundity," he said. "Anything that seems of momentous occasion should be dwelt upon as though it were of slight note. Conversely, trivialities must be attended to with the greatest of care. Because death is moment

Music in the soul can be heard by the universe.

Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it.

There are no accidents whatsoever in the universe.

Who dat who say "who dat" when I say "who dat"?

A place for everything and everything in its place.

When your work speaks for itself, don't interrupt.

The farther you go, the less you know.

We can embody the truth, but we cannot know it.

The meek shall inherit the earth, but *not* its mineral rights.

It is when I struggle to be brief that I become obscure.

Mental power tended to corrupt, and absolute intelligence tended to corrupt absolutely, until the victim eschewed violence entirely in favor of smart solutions to stupid problems.

The price of success in philosophy is triviality.

Exxon's 'Universe of Energy' tends to the peculiar rather than the humorous ... After [an incomprehensible film montage about wind and sun and rain and strip mines and] two or three minutes of mechanical confusion, the seats locomote through a short

Honesty is for the most part less profitable than dishonesty.

When in doubt, use brute force.

The greatest griefs are those we cause ourselves.

I was in this prematurely air conditioned supermarket and there were all these aisles and there were these bathing caps you could buy that had these kind of Fourth of July plumes on them that were red and yellow and blue and I wasn't tempted to buy

I don't have any use for bodyguards, but I do have a specific use for two highly trained certified public accountants.

I just need enough to tide me over until I need more.

The philosopher's treatment of a question is like the treatment of an illness.

You can no more win a war than you can win an earthquake.

Then, gently touching my face, she hesitated for a moment as her incredible eyes poured forth into mine love, joy, pain, tragedy, acceptance, and peace. "'Bye for now," she said warmly.

What we cannot speak about we must pass over in silence.

Great acts are made up of small deeds.

No problem is so formidable that you can't just walk away from it.

There has been a little distress selling on the stock exchange.

A sad spectacle. If they be inhabited, what a scope for misery and folly. If they be not inhabited, what a waste of space.

To generalize is to be an idiot.

A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step.

So little time, so little to do.

Between 1950 and 1952, a bored weatherman, stationed north of Hudson Bay, left a monument that neither government nor time can eradicate. Using a bulldozer abandoned by the Air Force, he spent two years and great effort pushing boulders into a single

The man-hating woman, like the cold woman, is largely imaginary. She is simply a woman who has done her best to snare a man and has failed.

All is well that ends well.

Alas, I am dying beyond my means.

All I kin say is when you finds yo'self wanderin' in a peach orchard, ya don't go lookin' for rutabagas.

One man's Mede is another man's Persian.

It is not enough that I should succeed. Others must fail.

"Every morning, I get up and look through the 'Forbes' list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work"

Before you ask more questions, think about whether you really want to know the answers.

A woman who is guided by the head and not by the heart is a social pestilence: she has all the defects of the passionate and affectionate woman, with none of her compensations; she is without pity, without love, without virtue, without sex.

You k'n hide de fier, but w'at you gwine do wid de smoke?

Some women should be beaten regularly, like gongs.

Well, the handwriting is on the floor.

Have you ever stopped to think what it would be like to have a woman President? "I can't deal with the Russians today. Not now. I've got my period."

We are what we pretend to be.

In the long run we are all dead.

An office party is not, as is sometimes supposed the Managing Director's chance to kiss the tea-girl. It is the tea-girl's chance to kiss the Managing Director (however bizarre an ambition this may seem to anyone who has seen the Managing Director f

You can get much further with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.

God gave man two ears and one tongue so that we listen twice as much as we speak.

Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet?

There is nothing new except what has been forgotten.

Advertising is the rattling of a stick inside a swill bucket.

The best executive is one who has sense enough to pick good people to do what he wants done, and self-restraint enough to keep from meddling with them while they do it.

Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration.

Look before you leap.

It is sweet to let the mind unbend on occasion.

A good scapegoat is hard to find. A guilty conscience is the mother of invention.

"Consequences, Schmonsequences, as long as I'm rich."

Nothing recedes like success.

In every hierarchy the cream rises until it sours.

Prosperity makes friends, adversity tries them.

A little bit of rape is good for a man's soul.

Hotels are tired of getting ripped off. I checked into a hotel and they had towels from my house.

Words have a longer life than deeds.

Given a choice between grief and nothing, I'd choose grief.

When the English language gets in my way, I walk over it.

You have to run as fast as you can just to stay where you are. If you want to get anywhere, you'll have to run much faster.

Life is like a 10 speed bicycle. Most of us have gears we never use.

When the ax entered the forest, the trees said, "The handle is one of us!"

Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names the streets after them.

Practice yourself what you preach.

Receiving a million dollars tax free will make you feel better than being flat broke and having a stomach ache.

Two wrongs don't make a right, but they make a good excuse.

You are never given a wish without also being given the power to make it true. You may have to work for it, however.

A little inaccuracy saves a world of explanation.

The first requisite for immortality is death.

Things are not always what they seem.

Suffering alone exists, none who suffer; The deed there is, but no doer thereof; Nirvana is, but no one is seeking it; The Path there is, but none who travel it.

The most costly of all follies is to believe passionately in the palpably not true. It is the chief occupation of mankind.

Would ye both eat your cake and have your cake?

There is more to life than increasing its speed.

With her body, woman is more sincere than man; but with her mind she lies. And when she lies, she does not believe herself.

Forgive and forget.

To have died once is enough.

The truth of a thing is the feel of it, not the think of it.

Force has no place where there is need of skill.

We all live in a state of ambitious poverty.

Of all possible committee reactions to any given agenda item, the reaction that will occur is the one which will liberate the greatest amount of hot air.

Many hands make light work.

Necessity has no law.

Adde parvum parvo manus acervus erit. [Add little to little and there will be a big pile.]

The flush toilet is the basis of Western civilization.

The universe is made of stories, not of atoms.

Every man thinks God is on his side. The rich and powerful know that he is.

Perfection is reached, not when there is no longer anything to add, but when there is no longer anything to take away.

If I had a formula for bypassing trouble, I would not pass it around. Trouble creates a capacity to handle it. I don't say embrace trouble; that's as bad as treating it as an enemy. But I do say meet it as a friend, for you'll see a lot of it and y

Two can Live as Cheaply as One for Half as Long.

I know not how I came into this, shall I call it a dying life or a living death?

I owe the public nothing.

Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely.

Certainly the game is rigged. Don't let that stop you; if you don't bet, you can't win.

I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best.

The early bird who catches the worm works for someone who comes in late and owns the worm farm.

The intelligence of any discussion diminishes with the square of the number of participants.

No is no negative in a woman's mouth.

If happiness is in your destiny, you need not be in a hurry.

No man is an Iland, intire of it selfe; every man is a peece of the Continent, a part of the maine; if a Clod bee washed away by the Sea, Europe is the lesse, as well as if a Promontorie were, as well as if a Mannor of thy friends or of thine owne we

The problem with any unwritten law is that you don't know where to go to erase it.

We're living in a golden age. All you need is gold.

If you want to know what god thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.

Death is a spirit leaving a body, sort of like a shell leaving the nut behind.

A violent man will die a violent death.

A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on.

It is impossible to enjoy idling thoroughly unless one has plenty of work to do.

He who knows others is wise. He who knows himself is enlightened.

Men freely believe that what they wish to desire.

Time is the most valuable thing a man can spend.

"World conquerors sometimes become fools, but fools never become world conquerors."

You cannot see the wood for the trees.

Depend on the rabbit's foot if you will, but remember, it didn't help the rabbit.

Men are superior to women.

A beginning is the time for taking the most delicate care that balances are correct.

A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back the when it begins to rain.

"I gained nothing at all from Supreme Enlightenment, and for that very reason it is called Supreme Enlightenment."

Women of genius commonly have masculine faces, figures and manners. In transplanting brains to an alien soil God leaves a little of the original earth clinging to the roots.

Business will be either better or worse.

The idea there was that consumers would bring their broken electronic devices, such as television sets and VCR's, to the destruction centers, where trained personnel would whack them (the devices) with sledgehammers. With their devices thus permanent

I just asked myself... what would John DeLorean do?

XI: If the Earth could be made to rotate twice as fast, managers would get twice as much done. If the Earth could be made to rotate twenty times as fast, everyone else would get twice as much done since all the managers would fly off. XII: I

It is through symbols that man consciously or unconsciously lives, works and has his being.

How can you prove whether at this moment we are sleeping, and all our thoughts are a dream; or whether we are awake, and talking to one another in the waking state?

Nothing matters very much, and few things matter at all.

You can't run away forever, But there's nothing wrong with getting a good head start.

I am a man: nothing human is alien to me.

When properly administered, vacations do not diminish productivity: for every week you're away and get nothing done, there's another when your boss is away and you get twice as much done.

Execute every act of thy life as though it were thy last.

Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.

You can never do just one thing.

Love may laugh at locksmiths, but he has a profound respect for money bags.

Even the best of friends cannot attend each other's funeral.

If you wish to be happy for one hour, get drunk. If you wish to be happy for three days, get married. If you wish to be happy for a month, kill your pig and eat it. If you wish to be happy forever, learn to fish.

Of all men's miseries, the bitterest is this: to know so much and have control over nothing.

What does not destroy me, makes me stronger.

Advertising is a valuable economic factor because it is the cheapest way of selling goods, particularly if the goods are worthless.

You can observe a lot just by watching.

Think lucky. If you fall in a pond, check your pockets for fish.

Like, if I'm not for me, then fer shure, like who will be? And if, y'know, if I'm not like fer anyone else, then hey, I mean, what am I? And if not now, like I dunno, maybe like when? And if not Who, then I dunno, maybe like the Rolling Stones?

Pity the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.

Lo! Men have become the tool of their tools.

If you would know the value of money, go try to borrow some.

When the speaker and he to whom he is speaks do not understand, that is metaphysics.

Long were the days of pain I have spent within its walls, and long were the nights of aloneness; and who can depart from his pain and his aloneness without regret?

The superior man understands what is right; the inferior man understands what will sell.

Term, holidays, term, holidays, till we leave school, and then work, work, work till we die.

[Maturity consists in the discovery that] there comes a critical moment where everything is reversed, after which the point becomes to understand more and more that there is something which cannot be understood.

(1) Avoid fried meats which angry up the blood. (2) If your stomach antagonizes you, pacify it with cool thoughts. (3) Keep the juices flowing by jangling around gently as you move. (4) Go very lightly on the vices, such as carrying on in society, as

The road to Hades is easy to travel.

Facts are the enemy of truth.

Beauty is one of the rare things which does not lead to doubt of God.

A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.

Honesty pays, but it doesn't seem to pay enough to suit some people.

To every Ph.D. there is an equal and opposite Ph.D.

What soon grows old? Gratitude.

Nice guys finish last, but we get to sleep in.

The shortest distance between two points is under construction.

"Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away".

All hope abandon, ye who enter here!

I didn't believe in reincarnation in any of my other lives. I don't see why I should have to believe in it in this one.

The chief danger in life is that you may take too many precautions.

Perhaps the remembrance of these things will prove a source of future pleasure.

We are not a loved organization, but we are a respected one.

Waste not fresh tears over old griefs.

What you don't know won't help you much either.

Nothing is more admirable than the fortitude with which millionaires tolerate the disadvantages of their wealth.

We are governed not by armies and police but by ideas.

A sinking ship gathers no moss.

A man is known by the company he organizes.

A memorandum is written not to inform the reader, but to protect the writer.

per year.

Any philosophy that can be put "in a nutshell" belongs there.

Good-bye. I am leaving because I am bored.

The great question that has never been answered and which I have not yet been able to answer despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul is: WHAT DOES A WOMAN WANT?

It is common sense to take a method and try it. If it fails, admit it frankly and try another. But above all, try something.

I'll turn over a new leaf.

When in doubt, mumble; when in trouble, delegate; when in charge, ponder.

It's very glamorous to raise millions of dollars, until it's time for the venture capitalist to suck your eyeballs out.

Intellect annuls Fate. So far as a man thinks, he is free.

Rome was not built in one day.

A man gazing at the stars is proverbially at the mercy of the puddles in the road.

Money is truthful. If a man speaks of his honor, make him pay cash.

If you're like most homeowners, you're afraid that many repairs around your home are too difficult to tackle. So, when your furnace explodes, you call in a so-called professional to fix it. The "professional" arrives in a truck with lettering on t

Catharsis is something I associate with pornography and crossword puzzles.

The man who runs may fight again.

I: The best way to make a silk purse from a sow's ear is to begin with a silk sow. The same is true of money. II: If today were half as good as tomorrow is supposed to be, it would probably be twice as good as yesterday was. III: There are

The two most beautiful words in the English language are "Cheque Enclosed."

Don't get mad, get even.

We rarely find anyone who can say he has lived a happy life, and who, content with his life, can retire from the world like a satisfied guest.

"There is no Father Christmas. It's just a marketing ploy to make low income parents' lives a misery." "... I want you to picture the trusting face of a child, streaked with tears because of what you just said." "I want you to picture the face of

Every person, all the events in your life are there because you have drawn them there. What you choose to do with them is up to you.

The whole earth is in jail and we're plotting this incredible jailbreak.

If a guru falls in the forest with no one to hear him, was he really a guru at all?

A good name lost is seldom regained. When character is gone, all is gone, and one of the richest jewels of life is lost forever.

Nothing will dispel enthusiasm like a small admission fee.

Men's skin is different from women's skin. It is usually bigger, and it has more snakes tattooed on it. Also, if you examine a woman's skin very closely, inch by inch, starting at her shapely ankles, then gently tracing the slender curve of her cal

Instead of loving your enemies, treat your friends a little better.

Whatever is not nailed down is mine. Whatever I can pry up is not nailed down.

An ounce of mother is worth a ton of priest.

Those who do things in a noble spirit of self-sacrifice are to be avoided at all costs.

A committee takes root and grows, it flowers, wilts and dies, scattering the seed from which other committees will bloom.

God instructs the heart, not by ideas, but by pains and contradictions.

Would that my hand were as swift as my tongue.

"Cogito ergo I'm right and you're wrong."

Sic transit gloria mundi. [So passes away the glory of this world.]

Never appeal to a man's "better nature." He may not have one. Invoking his self-interest gives you more leverage.

I have ways of making money that you know nothing of.

There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?

It is so stupid of modern civilisation to have given up believing in the devil when he is the only explanation of it.

The course of true anything never does run smooth.

Ninety percent of everything is crap.

To lead people, you must follow behind.

The first Rotarian was the first man to call John the Baptist "Jack."

Fortune and love befriend the bold.

Work is the crab grass in the lawn of life.

Don't tell me how hard you work. Tell me how much you get done.

Exceptions prove the rule, and wreck the budget.

Optimism is the content of small men in high places.

In spite of everything, I still believe that people are good at heart.

Let your conscience be your guide.

You knew the job was dangerous when you took it, Fred.

Let me assure you that to us here at First National, you're not just a number. Youre two numbers, a dash, three more numbers, another dash and another number.

Money doesn't talk, it swears.

The trouble with the rat-race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.

Our business in life is not to succeed but to continue to fail in high spirits.

The more I want to get something done, the less I call it work.

There's no such thing as a free lunch.

Eighteen goddess-like daughters are not equal to one son with a hump.

A snake lurks in the grass.

Life is the living you do, Death is the living you don't do.

There's no such thing as an original sin.

If your happiness depends on what somebody else does, I guess you do have a problem.

Walking on water wasn't built in a day.

The chief cause of problems is solutions.

An older student came to Otis and said, "I have been to see a great number of teachers and I have given up a great number of pleasures. I have fasted, been celibate and stayed awake nights seeking enlightenment. I have given up everything I was aske

Since everything in life is but an experience perfect in being what it is, having nothing to do with good or bad, acceptance or rejection, one may well burst out in laughter.

Do not seek death; death will find you. But seek the road which makes death a fulfillment.

Philosophy will clip an angel's wings.

No good deed goes unpunished.

He who makes a beast of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man.

Two heads are better than one.

He who laughs has not yet heard the bad news.

There is a good deal of solemn cant about the common interests of capital and labour. As matters stand, their only common interest is that of cutting each other's throat.

A word to the wise is enough.

When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.

I consider a new device or technology to have been culturally accepted when it has been used to commit a murder.

If a man has a strong faith he can indulge in the luxury of skepticism.

"We're not talking about the same thing," he said. "For you the world is weird because if you're not bored with it you're at odds with it. For me the world is weird because it is stupendous, awesome, mysterious, unfathomable; my interest has been to

The term "fire" brings up visions of violence and mayhem and the ugly scene of shooting employees who make mistakes. We will now refer to this process as "deleting" an employee (much as a file is deleted from a disk). The employee is simply there o

A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds.

Competitive fury is not always anger. It is the true missionary's courage and zeal in facing the possibility that one's best may not be enough.

The truth is what is; what should be is a dirty lie.

Take the folks at Coca-Cola. For many years, they were content to sit back and make the same old carbonated beverage. It was a good beverage, no question about it; generations of people had grown up drinking it and doing the experiment in sixth gr

"Necessity is the mother of invention" is a silly proverb. "Necessity is the mother of futile dodges" is much nearer the truth.

Scratch the average female and you'll find a purring bundle... at the ready to love and honor, bake a torte and still produce quintuplets.

There seems no plan because it is all plan.

Faith is under the left nipple.

Too much of everything is just enough.

I have a simple philosophy: Fill what's empty. Empty what's full. Scratch where it itches.

My religion consists of a humble admiration of the illimitable superior spirit who reveals himself in the slight details we are able to perceive with our frail and feeble mind.

"Given the choice between accomplishing something and just lying around, I'd rather lie around. No contest."

I BET WHAT HAPPENED was they discovered fire and invented the wheel on the same day. Then that night, they burned the wheel.

Nothing succeeds like excess.

If a shameless woman expects to be defiled and then dies of her fierce love because you do not consent, will chastity also be homicide?

All of us should treasure his Oriental wisdom and his preaching of a Zen-like detachment, as exemplified by his constant reminder to clerks, tellers, or others who grew excited by his presence in their banks: "Just lie down on the floor and keep calm

Arrakis teaches the attitude of the knife - chopping off what's incomplete and saying: "Now it's complete because it's ended here."

A lot of people I know believe in positive thinking, and so do I. I believe everything positively stinks.

Women are nothing but machines for producing children.

It is better to live rich than to die rich.

Never buy what you do not want because it is cheap; it will be dear to you.

If we could sell our experiences for what they cost us, we would all be millionaires.

It is better to have loved and lost

Honesty's the best policy.

Before he became a hermit, Zarathud was a young Priest, and took great delight in making fools of his opponents in front of his followers. One day Zarathud took his students to a pleasant pasture and there he confronted The Sacred Chao while She

The greatest productive force is human selfishness.

Three o'clock in the afternoon is always just a little too late or a little too early for anything you want to do.

The only happiness lies in reason; all the rest of the world is dismal. The highest reason, however, I see in the work of the artist, and he may experience it as such. Happiness lies in the swiftness of feeling and thinking: all the rest of the worl

I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday and I love today.

The Worst Car Hire Service When David Schwartz left university in 1972, he set up Rent-a-wreck as a joke. Being a natural prankster, he acquired a fleet of beat-up shabby, wreckages waiting for the scrap heap in California. He put on a cap and lo

Consider the postage stamp: its usefulness consists in the ability to stick to one thing till it gets there.

Indeed, the first noble truth of Buddhism, usually translated as `all life is suffering,' is more accurately rendered `life is filled with a sense of pervasive unsatisfactoriness.'

Take care of the luxuries and the necessities will take care of themselves.

Out of sight is out of mind.

The individual choice of garnishment of a burger can be an important point to the consumer in this day when individualism is an increasingly important thing to people.

Bullwinkle: You just leave that to my pal. He's the brains of the outfit. General: What does that make YOU? Bullwinkle: What else? An executive.

I do not know whether I was then a man dreaming I was a butterfly, or whether I am now a butterfly dreaming I am a man.

If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars.

Chance is perhaps the work of God when He did not want to sign.