It is difficult to produce a television documentary that is both incisive and probing when every twelve minutes one is interrupted by twelve dancing rabbits singing about toilet paper.

The universe is made of stories, not of atoms.

What soon grows old? Gratitude.

The streets were dark with something more than night.

The most common given name in the world is Mohammad; the most common family name in the world is Chang. Can you imagine the enormous number of people in the world named Mohammad Chang?

Comparing information and knowledge is like asking whether the fatness of a pig is more or less green than the designated hitter rule."

Two wrongs don't make a right, but they make a good excuse.

Patch griefs with proverbs.

The only happiness lies in reason; all the rest of the world is dismal. The highest reason, however, I see in the work of the artist, and he may experience it as such. Happiness lies in the swiftness of feeling and thinking: all the rest of the worl

Too many people are thinking of security instead of opportunity. They seem more afraid of life than death.

I value kindness to human beings first of all, and kindness to animals. I don't respect the law; I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger, the food cheaper, and old men

Beware of all enterprises that require new clothes, and not rather a new wearer of clothes.

If men are not afraid to die, it is of no avail to threaten them with death. If men live in constant fear of dying, And if breaking the law means a man will be killed, Who will dare to break the law? There is always an official executioner. If

All I kin say is when you finds yo'self wanderin' in a peach orchard, ya don't go lookin' for rutabagas.

"Die? I should say not, dear fellow. No Barrymore would allow such a conventional thing to happen to him."

He that composes himself is wiser than he that composes a book.

God instructs the heart, not by ideas, but by pains and contradictions.

No two persons ever read the same book.

Nullum magnum ingenium sine mixtura dementiae fuit. [There is no great genius without some touch of madness.]

Never tell people how to do things. Tell them WHAT to do and they will surprise you with their ingenuity.

Be regular and orderly in your life, so that you may be violent and original in your work.

This was the most unkindest cut of all.

"Do you think there's a God?" "Well, ____SOMEbody's out to get me!"

When in doubt, use brute force.

He has not acquired a fortune; the fortune has acquired him.

There's no such thing as a free lunch.

No house should ever be on any hill or on anything. It should be of the hill, belonging to it.

'Scuse me, while I kiss the sky!

Well, we'll really have a party, but we've gotta post a guard outside.

Would it help if I got out and pushed?

There's no justice in this world.

Since everything in life is but an experience perfect in being what it is, having nothing to do with good or bad, acceptance or rejection, one may well burst out in laughter.

"Why are we importing all these highbrow plays like `Amadeus'? I could have told you Mozart was a jerk for nothing."

The possession of a book becomes a substitute for reading it.

The seven deadly sins ... Food, clothing, firing, rent, taxes, respectability and children. Nothing can lift those seven milestones from man's neck but money; and the spirit cannot soar until the milestones are lifted.

Pauca sed matura. [Few but excellent.]

There is an old time toast which is golden for its beauty. "When you ascend the hill of prosperity may you not meet a friend."

With her body, woman is more sincere than man; but with her mind she lies. And when she lies, she does not believe herself.

And ever has it been known that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation.

When the going gets tough, everyone leaves.

Examinations are formidable even to the best prepared, for even the greatest fool may ask more the the wisest man can answer.

We were so poor we couldn't afford a watchdog. If we heard a noise at night, we'd bark ourselves.

The Least Successful Equal Pay Advertisement In 1976 the European Economic Community pointed out to the Irish Government that it had not yet implemented the agreed sex equality legislation. The Dublin Government immediately advertised for an equal

Either I'm dead or my watch has stopped.

A witty saying proves nothing.

Moderation is a fatal thing. Nothing succeeds like excess.

[District Attorneys] learn in District Attorney School that there are two sure-fire ways to get a lot of favorable publicity: (1) Go down and raid all the lockers in the local high school and confiscate 53 marijuana cigarettes and put them in a

Ed Sullivan will be around as long as someone else has talent.

What we need in this country, instead of Daylight Savings Time, which nobody really understands anyway, is a new concept called Weekday Morning Time, whereby at 7 a.m. every weekday we go into a space-launch-style "hold" for two to three hours, durin

The road to Hades is easy to travel.

No is no negative in a woman's mouth.

"I only touch base with reality on an as-needed basis!"

October. This is one of the peculiarly dangerous months to speculate in stocks in. The others are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, December, August, and February.

Odets, where is thy sting?

God made everything out of nothing, but the nothingness shows through.

A woman takes off her claim to respect along with her garments.

Money doesn't talk, it swears.

Any philosophy that can be put "in a nutshell" belongs there.

"Hi, I'm Preston A. Mantis, president of Consumers Retail Law Outlet. As you can see by my suit and the fact that I have all these books of equal height on the shelves behind me, I am a trained legal attorney. Do you have a car or a job? Do you ever

The term "fire" brings up visions of violence and mayhem and the ugly scene of shooting employees who make mistakes. We will now refer to this process as "deleting" an employee (much as a file is deleted from a disk). The employee is simply there o

Trifles make perfection, and perfection is no trifle.

Talkers are no good doers.

Competitive fury is not always anger. It is the true missionary's courage and zeal in facing the possibility that one's best may not be enough.

VI: A hungry dog hunts best. A hungrier dog hunts even better. VII: Decreased business base increases overhead. So does increased business base. VIII: The most unsuccessful four years in the education of a cost-estimator is fifth grade ari

Living in New York City gives people real incentives to want things that nobody else wants.

"Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away".

Seeing that death, a necessary end, Will come when it will come.

If a jury in a criminal trial stays out for more than twenty-four hours, it is certain to vote acquittal, save in those instances where it votes guilty.

The final delusion is the belief that one has lost all delusions.

"She said, `I know you ... you cannot sing'. I said, `That's nothing, you should hear me play piano.'"

A university is what a college becomes when the faculty loses interest in students.

General notions are generally wrong.

The very ink with which all history is written is merely fluid prejudice.

It is Mr. Mellon's credo that $200,000,000 can do no wrong. Our offense consists in doubting it.

[He] took me into his library and showed me his books, of which he had a complete set.

You don't have to think too hard when you talk to teachers.

The average Ph.D thesis is nothing but the transference of bones from one graveyard to another.

We were young and our happiness dazzled us with its strength. But there was also a terrible betrayal that lay within me like a Merle Haggard song at a French restaurant. [...] I could not tell the girl about the woman of the tollway, of her milk w

Imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality.

When one burns one's bridges, what a very nice fire it makes.

"Not Hercules could have knock'd out his brains, for he had none."

I have a very strange feeling about this...

Having the fewest wants, I am nearest to the gods.

It is a profitable thing, if one is wise, to seem foolish.

There are three infallible ways of pleasing an author, and the three form a rising scale of compliment: 1, to tell him you have read one of his books; 2, to tell him you have read all of his books; 3, to ask him to let you read the manuscript of his

Men freely believe that what they wish to desire.

"If once a man indulges himself in murder, very soon he comes to think little of robbing; and from robbing he next comes to drinking and Sabbath-breaking, and from that to incivility and procrastination."

A fool's brain digests philosophy into folly, science into superstition, and art into pedantry. Hence University education.

The root of all superstition is that men observe when a thing hits, but not when it misses.

Just close your eyes, tap your heels together three times, and think to yourself, `There's no place like home.'

In every hierarchy the cream rises until it sours.

A little bit of rape is good for a man's soul.

Fortune Documents the Great Legal Decisions: We think that we may take judicial notice of the fact that the term "bitch" may imply some feeling of endearment when applied to a female of the canine species but that it is seldom, if ever, so used whe

Very few people do anything creative after the age of thirty-five. The reason is that very few people do anything creative before the age of thirty-five.

There are many of us in this old world of ours who hold that things break about even for all of us. I have observed, for example, that we all get about the same amount of ice. The rich get it in the summer and the poor get it in the winter.

Writing is turning one's worst moments into money.

The cable TV sex channels don't expand our horizons, don't make us better people, and don't come in clearly enough.

"I understand this is your first dead client," Sabian was saying. The absurdity of the statement made me want to laugh but they don't call me Deadpan Allie and lie.

Call on God, but row away from the rocks.

Patience is the best remedy for every trouble.

My problem lies in reconciling my gross habits with my net income.

Naked children have never played in _o_u_r fountains, and I.M. Pei will never be happy on Route 66.

Once, I read that a man be never stronger than when he truly realizes how weak he is.

If all the world's a stage, I want to operate the trap door.

If I had done everything I'm credited with, I'd be speaking to you from a laboratory jar at Harvard.

There is nothing so easy but that it becomes difficult when you do it reluctantly.

If God is One, what is bad?

The farther you go, the less you know.

If I could drop dead right now, I'd be the happiest man alive!

Several years ago, some smart businessmen had an idea: Why not build a big store where a do-it-yourselfer could get everything he needed at reasonable prices? Then they decided, nah, the hell with that, let's build a home center. And before long ho

Burnt Sienna. That's the best thing that ever happened to Crayolas.

Diary of a Young Girl LITE(tm)

Execute every act of thy life as though it were thy last.

Yevtushenko has... an ego that can crack crystal at a distance of twenty feet.

Life is the childhood of our immortality.

were found to be wearing neckwear that was tighter than their neck circumference. The visual discrimination of the 22 subjects was evaluated using a critical flicker frequency (CFF) test. Results of the CFF test indicated that tight neckwear signifi

... but as records of courts and justice are admissible, it can easily be proved that powerful and malevolent magicians once existed and were a scourge to mankind. The evidence (including confession) upon which certain women were convicted of witch

If you want divine justice, die.

I can't understand why a person will take a year or two to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars.

Sometimes a man who deserves to be looked down upon because he is a fool is despised only because he is a lawyer.

Optimism is the content of small men in high places.

"Well, it's garish, ugly, and derelicts have used it for a toilet. The rides are dilapidated to the point of being lethal, and could easily maim or kill innocent little children." "Oh, so you don't like it?" "Don't like it? I'm CRAZY for it."

It is the quality rather than the quantity that matters.

Acting is not very hard. The most important things are to be able to laugh and cry. If I have to cry, I think of my sex life. And if I have to laugh, well, I think of my sex life.

If I had a plantation in Georgia and a home in Hell, I'd sell the plantation and go home.

Perhaps the remembrance of these things will prove a source of future pleasure.

The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence.

Arrakis teaches the attitude of the knife - chopping off what's incomplete and saying: "Now it's complete because it's ended here."

There is more to life than increasing its speed.

I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph.

Reality is nothing but a collective hunch.

Take what you can use and let the rest go by.

We are what we pretend to be.

For every bloke who makes his mark, there's half a dozen waiting to rub it out.

Art is Nature speeded up and God slowed down.

I'd just as soon kiss a Wookie.

This is the sort of English up with which I will not put.

I BET WHAT HAPPENED was they discovered fire and invented the wheel on the same day. Then that night, they burned the wheel.

A violent man will die a violent death.

What you don't know won't help you much either.

I accept chaos. I am not sure whether it accepts me. I know some people are terrified of the bomb. But then some people are terrified to be seen carrying a modern screen magazine. Experience teaches us that silence terrifies people the most.

Once there lived a village of creatures along the bottom of a great crystal river. Each creature in its own manner clung tightly to the twigs and rocks of the river bottom, for clinging was their way of life, and resisting the current what each had

... a thing called Ethics, whose nature was confusing but if you had it you were a High-Class Realtor and if you hadn't you were a shyster, a piker and a fly-by-night. These virtues awakened Confidence and enabled you to handle Bigger Propositions.

The Law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich, as well as the poor, to sleep under the bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread.

The Soviet Union, which has complained recently about alleged anti-Soviet themes in American advertising, lodged an official protest this week against the Ford Motor Company's new campaign: "Hey you stinking, fat Russian, get off my Ford Escort."

A man gazing at the stars is proverbially at the mercy of the puddles in the road.

My tears stuck in their little ducts, refusing to be jerked.

It is imperative when flying coach that you restrain any tendency toward the vividly imaginative. For although it may momentarily appear to be the case, it is not at all likely that the cabin is entirely inhabited by crying babies smoking inexpensiv

One of my favorite jokes, a telling commentary on Jewish mothers' capacity to lay on guilt, involves the mother who gave her son two neckties on Chanuka. The boy hurried into his bedroom, ripped off the tie he was wearing, put on one of the ties his

There are two kinds of pedestrians... the quick and the dead.

The Worst Musical Trio There are few bad musicians who have a chance to give a recital at a famous concert hall while still learning the rudiments of their instrument. This happened about thirty years ago to the son of a Rumanian gentleman who was

[The French Riviera is] a sunny place for shady people.

Whatever occurs from love is always beyond good and evil.

A committee is a group that keeps the minutes and loses hours.

The mosquito is the state bird of New Jersey.

We're living in a golden age. All you need is gold.

Hotels are tired of getting ripped off. I checked into a hotel and they had towels from my house.

[Maturity consists in the discovery that] there comes a critical moment where everything is reversed, after which the point becomes to understand more and more that there is something which cannot be understood.

Do not despair of life. You have no doubt force enough to overcome your obstacles. Think of the fox prowling through wood and field in a winter night for something to satisfy his hunger. Notwithstanding cold and hounds and traps, his race survives

In "King Henry VI, Part II," Shakespeare has Dick Butcher suggest to his fellow anti-establishment rabble-rousers, "The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers." That action may be extreme but a similar sentiment was expressed by Thomas K. Co

In dwelling, be close to the land. In meditation, delve deep into the heart. In dealing with others, be gentle and kind. In speech, be true. In work, be competent. In action, be careful of your timing.

"We demand rigidly defined areas of doubt and uncertainty!"

It is not doing the thing we like to do, but liking the thing we have to do, that makes life blessed.

All of the true things I am about to tell you are shameless lies.

What fools these mortals be.

According to the Rand McNally Places-Rated Almanac, the best place to live in America is the city of Pittsburgh. The city of New York came in twenty-fifth. Here in New York we really don't care too much. Because we know that we could beat up their

Death is life's way of telling you you've been fired.

per year.

The trouble with the rat-race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.

Perhaps, after all, America never has been discovered. I myself would say that it had merely been detected.

The absurd is the essential concept and the first truth.

Every man who has reached even his intellectual teens begins to suspect that life is no farce; that it is not genteel comedy even; that it flowers and fructifies on the contrary out of the profoundest tragic depths of the essential death in which its

If you are shooting under 80 you are neglecting your business; over 80 you are neglecting your golf.

May you live in uninteresting times.

Better tried by twelve than carried by six.

Let me assure you that to us here at First National, you're not just a number. Youre two numbers, a dash, three more numbers, another dash and another number.

Money can't buy happiness, but it can make you awfully comfortable while you're being miserable.

[Americans] are a race of convicts and ought to be thankful for anything we allow them short of hanging.

In the highest society, as well as in the lowest, woman is merely an instrument of pleasure.

You get what you pay for.

Too much is just enough.

It's not so hard to lift yourself by your bootstraps once you're off the ground.

The flush toilet is the basis of Western civilization.

The superfluous is very necessary.

Why does a hearse horse snicker, hauling a lawyer away?

I know on which side my bread is buttered.

You knew the job was dangerous when you took it, Fred.

The Law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich, as well as the poor, to sleep under the bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread.

The mome rath isn't born that could outgrabe me.

Best Mistakes In Films In his "Filmgoer's Companion", Mr. Leslie Halliwell helpfully lists four of the cinema's greatest moments which you should get to see if at all possible. In "Carmen Jones", the camera tracks with Dorothy Dandridge down a st

"There is no Father Christmas. It's just a marketing ploy to make low income parents' lives a misery." "... I want you to picture the trusting face of a child, streaked with tears because of what you just said." "I want you to picture the face of

If you lose a son you can always get another, but there's only one Maltese Falcon.

He played the king as if afraid someone else would play the ace.

The Least Perceptive Literary Critic The most important critic in our field of study is Lord Halifax. A most individual judge of poetry, he once invited Alexander Pope round to give a public reading of his latest poem. Pope, the leading poet of h

Objectivity is to a newspaper what virtue is to a woman.

There's such a thing as too much point on a pencil.

"It's kind of fun to do the impossible."

"If once a man indulges himself in murder, very soon he comes to think little of robbing; and from robbing he next comes to drinking and Sabbath-breaking, and from that to incivility and procrastination."

Isn't it nice that people who prefer Los Angeles to San Francisco live there?

You can bring men from other parts of the world who are sane. And you know what happens? At the very moment they cross those mountains... they go mad. Instantaneously and automatically, at the very moment they cross the mountains into California,

Like so many Americans, she was trying to construct a life that made sense from things she found in gift shops.

He who has the courage to laugh is almost as much a master of the world as he who is ready to die.

No one born with a mouth and a need is "innocent".

XXI: It's easy to get a loan unless you need it. XXII: If stock market experts were so expert, they would be buying stock, not selling advice. XXIII: Any task can be completed in only one-third more time than is currently estimated. XXIV:

Go away, I'm all right.

Innovation is hard to schedule.

Jesus may love you, but I think you're garbage wrapped in skin.

The only alliance I would make with the Women's Liberation Movement is in bed.

I remember when legal used to mean lawful, now it means some kind of loophole.

Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines.

The trouble with opportunity is that it always comes disguised as hard work.

To err is human, to repent, divine, to persist, devilish.

Never appeal to a man's "better nature." He may not have one. Invoking his self-interest gives you more leverage.

It's odd, and a little unsettling, to reflect upon the fact that English is the only major language in which "I" is capitalized; in many other languages "You" is capitalized and the "i" is lower case.

Nobody can be exactly like me. Sometimes even I have trouble doing it.

We know all about the habits of the ant, we know all about the habits of the bee, but we know nothing at all about the habits of the oyster. It seems almost certain that we have been choosing the wrong time for studying the oyster.

Instead of giving money to found colleges to promote learning, why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as good as the Prohibition one did, why, in five years we would have the smartest r

The man who has never been flogged has never been taught.

Education is what survives when what has been learnt has been forgotten.

"You've got to have a gimmick if your band sucks."

I will make you shorter by the head.

Sic transit gloria mundi. [So passes away the glory of this world.]

The mind is its own place, and in itself Can make a Heav'n of Hell, a Hell of Heav'n.

Yes, I've now got this nice little apartment in New York, one of those L-shaped ones. Unfortunately, it's a lower case l.

Work is of two kinds: first, altering the position of matter at or near the earth's surface relative to other matter; second, telling other people to do so.

Fill what's empty, empty what's full, scratch where it itches.

Work Hard. Rock Hard. Eat Hard. Sleep Hard. Grow Big. Wear Glasses If You Need 'Em.

With Congress, every time they make a joke it's a law; and every time they make a law it's a joke.

Never promise more than you can perform.

Si jeunesse savait, si vieillesse pouvait. [If youth but knew, if old age but could.]

Have you ever stopped to think what it would be like to have a woman President? "I can't deal with the Russians today. Not now. I've got my period."

That Xanthippe's husband should have become so great a philosopher is remarkable. Amid all the scolding, to be able to think! But he could not write: that was impossible. Socrates has not left us a single book.

The means-and-ends moralists, or non-doers, always end up on their ends without any means.

The man who runs may fight again.

Before you ask more questions, think about whether you really want to know the answers.

Luke, I'm yer father, eh. Come over to the dark side, you hoser.

Who's scruffy-looking?

In Hollywood, all marriages are happy. It's trying to live together afterwards that causes the problems.

No problem is so formidable that you can't just walk away from it.

Illusion is the first of all pleasures.

New Jersey is not the armpit of the nation; it's the asshole of the universe.

When in doubt, mumble; when in trouble, delegate; when in charge, ponder.

The day advanced as if to light some work of mine; it was morning, and lo! now it is evening, and nothing memorable is accomplished.

Have the courage to take your own thoughts seriously, for they will shape you.

Laws are like sausages. It's better not to see them being made.

The lunatic, the lover, and the poet, Are of imagination all compact...

She ran the gamut of emotions from 'A' to 'B'.

If you live long enough, you'll see that every victory turns into a defeat.

From the cradle to the coffin underwear comes first.

Recently deceased blues guitarist Stevie Ray Vaughan "comes to" after his death. He sees Jimi Hendrix sitting next to him, tuning his guitar. "Holy cow," he thinks to himself, "this guy is my idol." Over at the microphone, about to sing, are Jim Mo

When you die, you lose a very important part of your life.

...He who laughs does not believe in what he laughs at, but neither does he hate it. Therefore, laughing at evil means not preparing oneself to combat it, and laughing at good means denying the power through which good is self-propagating.

Small is beautiful.

The Public is merely a multiplied "me."

Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women it is merely a good excuse not to play football.

A man who cannot seduce men cannot save them either.

When in doubt, tell the truth.

If a man stay away from his wife for seven years, the law presumes the separation to have killed him; yet according to our daily experience, it might well prolong his life.

Very few blacks will take up golf until the requirement for plaid pants is dropped.

The first requisite for immortality is death.

If you aren't rich you should always look useful.

God helps them that help themselves.

Maternity pay? Now every Tom, Dick and Harry will get pregnant.

So so is good, very good, very excellent good: and yet it is not; it is but so so.

If a jury in a criminal trial stays out for more than twenty-four hours, it is certain to vote acquittal, save in those instances where it votes guilty.

Women of genius commonly have masculine faces, figures and manners. In transplanting brains to an alien soil God leaves a little of the original earth clinging to the roots.

It is Mr. Mellon's credo that $200,000,000 can do no wrong. Our offense consists in doubting it.

Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself.

If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library?

It's pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness; poverty and wealth have both failed.

Prediction is very difficult, especially of the future.

Do not seek death; death will find you. But seek the road which makes death a fulfillment.

Go ahead... make my day.

Live within your income, even if you have to borrow to do so.

Nothing will dispel enthusiasm like a small admission fee.

I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark.

Skill without imagination is craftsmanship and gives us many useful objects such as wickerwork picnic baskets. Imagination without skill gives us modern art.

The superior man understands what is right; the inferior man understands what will sell.

Life is like a 10 speed bicycle. Most of us have gears we never use.

Genius is pain.

If your happiness depends on what somebody else does, I guess you do have a problem.

We have art that we do not die of the truth.

A society in which women are taught anything but the management of a family, the care of men, and the creation of the future generation is a society which is on its way out.

If little else, the brain is an educational toy.

One man's Mede is another man's Persian.

He that teaches himself has a fool for a master.

No man is an Iland, intire of it selfe; every man is a peece of the Continent, a part of the maine; if a Clod bee washed away by the Sea, Europe is the lesse, as well as if a Promontorie were, as well as if a Mannor of thy friends or of thine owne we

Absolutum obsoletum. (If it works, it's out of date.)

You never have to change anything you got up in the middle of the night to write.

It is better to have loved and lost

Mankind is poised midway between the gods and the beasts.

My theology, briefly, is that the universe was dictated but not signed.

Why am I so soft in the middle when the rest of my life is so hard?

A businessman is a hybrid of a dancer and a calculator.

Believe everything you hear about the world; nothing is too impossibly bad.

"...The name of the song is called 'Haddocks' Eyes'!" "Oh, that's the name of the song, is it?" Alice said, trying to feel interested. "No, you don't understand," the Knight said, looking a little vexed. "That's what the name is called. The nam

My father, a good man, told me, "Never lose your ignorance; you cannot replace it."

Unprovided with original learning, unformed in the habits of thinking, unskilled in the arts of composition, I resolved to write a book.

Eeny, Meeny, Jelly Beanie, the spirits are about to speak!

Beggars should be no choosers.

If there is no wind, row.

Armenians and Azerbaijanis in Stepanakert, capital of the Nagorno-Karabakh autonomous region, rioted over much needed spelling reform in the Soviet Union.

... [concerning quotation marks] even if we *___did* quote anybody in this business, it probably would be gibberish.

Term, holidays, term, holidays, till we leave school, and then work, work, work till we die.

Instead of loving your enemies, treat your friends a little better.

You climb to reach the summit, but once there, discover that all roads lead down.

If you live in New York, even if you're Catholic, you're Jewish.

It is a lesson which all history teaches wise men, to put trust in ideas, and not in circumstances.

Monterey... is decidedly the pleasantest and most civilized-looking place in California ... [it] is also a great place for cock-fighting, gambling of all sorts, fandangos, and various kinds of amusements and knavery.

Remember that there is an outside world to see and enjoy.

You can get much further with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.

Roumanian-Yiddish cooking has killed more Jews than Hitler.

Think sideways!

Nice guys finish last, but we get to sleep in.

"I don't mind going nowhere as long as it's an interesting path."

I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best.

All men know the utility of useful things; but they do not know the utility of futility.

XXVI: If a sufficient number of management layers are superimposed on each other, it can be assured that disaster is not left to chance. XXVII: Rank does not intimidate hardware. Neither does the lack of rank. XXVIII: It is better to be the r

The greatest griefs are those we cause ourselves.

Events are not affected, they develop.