The optimum committee has no members.

A woman who is guided by the head and not by the heart is a social pestilence: she has all the defects of the passionate and affectionate woman, with none of her compensations; she is without pity, without love, without virtue, without sex.

A prediction is worth twenty explanations.

Then, gently touching my face, she hesitated for a moment as her incredible eyes poured forth into mine love, joy, pain, tragedy, acceptance, and peace. "'Bye for now," she said warmly.

A committee takes root and grows, it flowers, wilts and dies, scattering the seed from which other committees will bloom.

It pays in England to be a revolutionary and a bible-smacker most of one's life and then come round.

If a guru falls in the forest with no one to hear him, was he really a guru at all?

Every cloud engenders not a storm.

You climb to reach the summit, but once there, discover that all roads lead down.

Nitwit ideas are for emergencies. You use them when you've got nothing else to try. If they work, they go in the Book. Otherwise you follow the Book, which is largely a collection of nitwit ideas that worked.

Your chances of getting hit by lightning go up if you stand under a tree, shake your fist at the sky, and say, "Storms suck!"

Nothing will dispel enthusiasm like a small admission fee.

I have already given two cousins to the war and I stand ready to sacrifice my wife's brother.

Turn the other cheek.

Practice is the best of all instructors.

Fame is a vapor; popularity an accident; the only earthly certainty is oblivion.

You can't run away forever, But there's nothing wrong with getting a good head start.

When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President. Now I'm beginning to believe it.

Suspicion always haunts the guilty mind.

When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.

A woman occasionally is quite a serviceable substitute for masturbation. It takes an abundance of imagination, to be sure.

"You mean, if you allow the master to be uncivil, to treat you any old way he likes, and to insult your dignity, then he may deem you fit to hear his view of things?" "Quite the contrary. You must defend your integrity, assuming you have integrit

Instead of loving your enemies, treat your friends a little better.

Let us not look back in anger or forward in fear, but around us in awareness.

Beware of all enterprises that require new clothes, and not rather a new wearer of clothes.

The Least Successful Equal Pay Advertisement In 1976 the European Economic Community pointed out to the Irish Government that it had not yet implemented the agreed sex equality legislation. The Dublin Government immediately advertised for an equal

Very few people do anything creative after the age of thirty-five. The reason is that very few people do anything creative before the age of thirty-five.

"... all the modern inconveniences ..."

He who slings mud generally loses ground.

Experience is a good teacher, but she sends in terrific bills.

We have art that we do not die of the truth.

Man must shape his tools lest they shape him.

A fool's brain digests philosophy into folly, science into superstition, and art into pedantry. Hence University education.

When I have one foot in the grave I will tell the truth about women. I shall tell it, jump into my coffin, pull the lid over me, and say, "Do what you like now."

A dream will always triumph over reality, once it is given the chance.

Politicians speak for their parties, and parties never are, never have been, and never will be wrong.

Too much is just enough.

"Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company."

I appreciate the fact that this draft was done in haste, but some of the sentences that you are sending out in the world to do your work for you are loitering in taverns or asleep beside the highway.

People who develop the habit of thinking of themselves as world citizens are fulfilling the first requirement of sanity in our time.

It is a wise father that knows his own child.

Never promise more than you can perform.

Sometimes, too long is too long.

A kind of Batman of contemporary letters.

In the highest society, as well as in the lowest, woman is merely an instrument of pleasure.

An older student came to Otis and said, "I have been to see a great number of teachers and I have given up a great number of pleasures. I have fasted, been celibate and stayed awake nights seeking enlightenment. I have given up everything I was aske

University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.

Let us never negotiate out of fear, but let us never fear to negotiate.

Housework can kill you if done right.

The most difficult thing in the world is to know how to do a thing and to watch someone else doing it wrong, without commenting.

Generally speaking, the Way of the warrior is resolute acceptance of death.

One picture is worth more than ten thousand words.

With Congress, every time they make a joke it's a law; and every time they make a law it's a joke.

You are never given a wish without also being given the power to make it true. You may have to work for it, however.

It's easier to take it apart than to put it back together.

Innovation is hard to schedule.

Many a bum show has been saved by the flag.

With women, I've got a long bamboo pole with a leather loop on the end of it. I slip the loop around their necks so they can't get away or come too close. Like catching snakes.

Being a miner, as soon as you're too old and tired and sick and stupid to do your job properly, you have to go, where the very opposite applies with the judges.

If I have to lay an egg for my country, I'll do it.

I'll turn over a new leaf.

Art is either plagiarism or revolution.

The only cultural advantage LA has over NY is that you can make a right turn on a red light.

The greatest dangers to liberty lurk in insidious encroachment by men of zeal, well-meaning but without understanding.

Conscience doth make cowards of us all.

There is always something new out of Africa.

Writing is turning one's worst moments into money.

I consider a new device or technology to have been culturally accepted when it has been used to commit a murder.

The mome rath isn't born that could outgrabe me.

Oh, I don't blame Congress. If I had $600 billion at my disposal, I'd be irresponsible, too.

Being a woman is a terribly difficult trade, since it consists principally of dealings with men.

The Hollywood tradition I like best is called "sucking up to the stars."

He who writes with no misspelled words has prevented a first suspicion on the limits of his scholarship or, in the social world, of his general education and culture.

A little inaccuracy saves a world of explanation.

I played lead guitar in a band called The Federal Duck, which is the kind of name that was popular in the '60s as a result of controlled substances being in widespread use. Back then, there were no restrictions, in terms of talent, on who could make

All men know the utility of useful things; but they do not know the utility of futility.

I stick my neck out for nobody.

Hating the Yankees is as American as pizza pie, unwed mothers and cheating on your income tax.

I didn't do it! Nobody saw me do it! Can't prove anything!

Ed Sullivan will be around as long as someone else has talent.

It was the Law of the Sea, they said. Civilization ends at the waterline. Beyond that, we all enter the food chain, and not always right at the top.

She cried, and the judge wiped her tears with my checkbook.

The most costly of all follies is to believe passionately in the palpably not true. It is the chief occupation of mankind.

October 12, the Discovery. It was wonderful to find America, but it would have been more wonderful to miss it.

Objectivity is to a newspaper what virtue is to a woman.

If two people love each other, there can be no happy end to it.

Mother is far too clever to understand anything she does not like.

History is the version of past events that people have decided to agree on.

It has long been noticed that juries are pitiless for robbery and full of indulgence for infanticide. A question of interest, my dear Sir! The jury is afraid of being robbed and has passed the age when it could be a victim of infanticide.

She was good at playing abstract confusion in the same way a midget is good at being short.

The Worst Prison Guards The largest number of convicts ever to escape simultaneously from a maximum security prison is 124. This record is held by Alcoente Prison, near Lisbon in Portugal. During the weeks leading up to the escape in July 1978 th

Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it's just the opposite.

I'd be a poorer man if I'd never seen an eagle fly.

Given a choice between grief and nothing, I'd choose grief.

The Law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich, as well as the poor, to sleep under the bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread.

Ignorance is never out of style. It was in fashion yesterday, it is the rage today, and it will set the pace tomorrow.

Luke, I'm yer father, eh. Come over to the dark side, you hoser.

Haste makes waste.

Laws are like sausages. It's better not to see them being made.

"God gives burdens; also shoulders" Jimmy Carter cited this Jewish saying in his concession speech at the end of the 1980 election. At least he said it was a Jewish saying; I can't find it anywhere. I'm sure he's telling the truth though; why wo

He draweth out the thread of his verbosity finer than the staple of his argument.

Think sideways!

I knew her before she was a virgin.

"Nuclear war would mean abolition of most comforts, and disruption of normal routines, for children and adults alike."

Nasrudin returned to his village from the imperial capital, and the villagers gathered around to hear what had passed. "At this time," said Nasrudin, "I only want to say that the King spoke to me." All the villagers but the stupidest ran off to spr

Plato, by the way, wanted to banish all poets from his proposed Utopia because they were liars. The truth was that Plato knew philosophers couldn't compete successfully with poets.

"What's this? Trix? Aunt! Trix? You? You're after the prize! What is it?" He picked up the box and studied the back. "A glow-in-the-dark squid! Have you got it out of there yet?" He tilted the box, angling the little colored balls of cereal

There is a secret person undamaged within every individual.

Dustin Farnum: Why, yesterday, I had the audience glued to their seats! Oliver Herford: Wonderful! Wonderful! Clever of you to think of it!

If you do not think about the future, you cannot have one.

A vacuum is a hell of a lot better than some of the stuff that nature replaces it with.

A copy of the universe is not what is required of art; one of the damned things is ample.

Would that my hand were as swift as my tongue.

"My country, right or wrong" is a thing that no patriot would think of saying, except in a desperate case. It is like saying "My mother, drunk or sober."

A man gazing at the stars is proverbially at the mercy of the puddles in the road.

The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.

If God lived on Earth, people would knock out all His windows.

To know Edina is to reject it.

Being a miner, as soon as you're too old and tired and sick and stupid to do your job properly, you have to go, where the very opposite applies with the judges.

Do not use that foreign word "ideals". We have that excellent native word "lies".

When I reflect upon the number of disagreeable people who I know who have gone to a better world, I am moved to lead a different life.

The majority of the stupid is invincible and guaranteed for all time. The terror of their tyranny, however, is alleviated by their lack of consistency.

If the colleges were better, if they really had it, you would need to get the police at the gates to keep order in the inrushing multitude. See in college how we thwart the natural love of learning by leaving the natural method of teaching what each

Moneyliness is next to Godliness.

... difference of opinion is advantagious in religion. The several sects perform the office of a common censor morum over each other. Is uniformity attainable? Millions of innocent men, women, and children, since the introduction of Christianity,

Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich.

Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. My advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.

Nothing succeeds like success.

It is the quality rather than the quantity that matters.

If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that don't get wet you can keep.

He was a fiddler, and consequently a rogue.

Learning without thought is labor lost; thought without learning is perilous.

The whole religious complexion of the modern world is due to the absence from Jerusalem of a lunatic asylum.

The executioner is, I hear, very expert, and my neck is very slender.

You never have to change anything you got up in the middle of the night to write.

It seems to me that nearly every woman I know wants a man who knows how to love with authority. Women are simple souls who like simple things, and one of the simplest is one of the simplest to give. ... Our family airedale will come clear across t

I know not how I came into this, shall I call it a dying life or a living death?

Someday, Weederman, we'll look back on all this and laugh... It will probably be one of those deep, eerie ones that slowly builds to a blood-curdling maniacal scream... but still it will be a laugh.

It is now 10 p.m. Do you know where Henry Kissinger is?

Any stone in your boot always migrates against the pressure gradient to exactly the point of most pressure.

An aphorism is never exactly true; it is either a half-truth or one-and-a-half truths.

"It's kind of fun to do the impossible."

Force has no place where there is need of skill.

Any two philosophers can tell each other all they know in two hours.

Sherry [Thomas Sheridan] is dull, naturally dull; but it must have taken him a great deal of pains to become what we now see him. Such an excess of stupidity, sir, is not in Nature.

I went into a bar feeling a little depressed, the bartender said, "What'll you have, Bud"? I said," I don't know, surprise me". So he showed me a nude picture of my wife.

The root of all superstition is that men observe when a thing hits, but not when it misses.

Diplomacy is to do and say, the nastiest thing in the nicest way.

"Benson, you are so free of the ravages of intelligence"

We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it - and stay there, lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove-lid. She will never sit down on a hot stove-lid again - and that is well; but also she will never

My experience with government is when things are non-controversial, beautifully co-ordinated and all the rest, it must be that not much is going on.

Where there is much light there is also much shadow.

You can observe a lot just by watching.

Life is the living you do, Death is the living you don't do.

Love may laugh at locksmiths, but he has a profound respect for money bags.

Some men are heterosexual, and some are bisexual, and some men don't think about sex at all... they become lawyers.

Television has proved that people will look at anything rather than each other.

Mate, this parrot wouldn't VOOM if you put four million volts through it!

He who knows that enough is enough will always have enough.

An Englishman never enjoys himself, except for a noble purpose.

The world wants to be deceived.

Television is now so desperately hungry for material that it is scraping the top of the barrel.

The big cities of America are becoming Third World countries.

When in doubt, have a man come through the door with a gun in his hand.

The future is a race between education and catastrophe.

A sinking ship gathers no moss.

The only alliance I would make with the Women's Liberation Movement is in bed.

I trust the first lion he meets will do his duty.

Seize the day, put no trust in the morrow!

I'm glad I was not born before tea.

The older I grow, the less important the comma becomes. Let the reader catch his own breath.

"We maintain that the very foundation of our way of life is what we call free enterprise," said Cash McCall, "but when one of our citizens show enough free enterprise to pile up a little of that profit, we do our best to make him feel that he ought t

He who makes a beast of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man.

Small things make base men proud.

To restore a sense of reality, I think Walt Disney should have a Hardluckland.

A myth is a religion in which no-one any longer believes.

October. This is one of the peculiarly dangerous months to speculate in stocks in. The others are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, December, August, and February.

Woman is generally so bad that the difference between a good and a bad woman scarcely exists.

None love the bearer of bad news.

Just once I would like to persuade the audience not to wear any article of blue denim. If only they could see themselves in a pair of brown corduroys like mine instead of this awful, boring blue denim. I don't enjoy the sky or sea as much as I used

Don't everyone thank me at once!

... a thing called Ethics, whose nature was confusing but if you had it you were a High-Class Realtor and if you hadn't you were a shyster, a piker and a fly-by-night. These virtues awakened Confidence and enabled you to handle Bigger Propositions.

Well, the handwriting is on the floor.

Anyone can hold the helm when the sea is calm.

... "fire" does not matter, "earth" and "air" and "water" do not matter. "I" do not matter. No word matters. But man forgets reality and remembers words. The more words he remembers, the cleverer do his fellows esteem him. He looks upon the great

Another day, another dollar.

Under every stone lurks a politician.

I must have a prodigious quantity of mind; it takes me as much as a week sometimes to make it up.

Harp not on that string.

You knew the job was dangerous when you took it, Fred.

Historians have now definitely established that Juan Cabrillo, discoverer of California, was not looking for Kansas, thus setting a precedent that continues to this day.

[Americans] are a race of convicts and ought to be thankful for anything we allow them short of hanging.

Now it is such a bizarrely improbable coincidence that anything so mind- bogglingly useful could have evolved purely by chance that some thinkers have chosen to see it as a final and clinching proof of the non-existence of God. The argument follows:

It is something to be able to paint a particular picture, or to carve a statue, and so to make a few objects beautiful; but it is far more glorious to carve and paint the very atmosphere and medium through which we look, which morally we can do. T

"Die? I should say not, dear fellow. No Barrymore would allow such a conventional thing to happen to him."

It took a while to surface, but it appears that a long-distance credit card may have saved a U.S. Army unit from heavy casualties during the Grenada military rescue/invasion. Major General David Nichols, Air Force ... said the Army unit was in a hous

When your work speaks for itself, don't interrupt.

When I hear a man applauded by the mob I always feel a pang of pity for him. All he has to do to be hissed is to live long enough.

Fill what's empty, empty what's full, scratch where it itches.

The only "ism" Hollywood believes in is plagiarism.

Work is of two kinds: first, altering the position of matter at or near the earth's surface relative to other matter; second, telling other people to do so.

...He who laughs does not believe in what he laughs at, but neither does he hate it. Therefore, laughing at evil means not preparing oneself to combat it, and laughing at good means denying the power through which good is self-propagating.

Receiving a million dollars tax free will make you feel better than being flat broke and having a stomach ache.

A Tale of Two Cities LITE(tm)

Briefly stated, the findings are that when presented with an array of data or a sequence of events in which they are instructed to discover an underlying order, subjects show strong tendencies to perceive order and causality in random arrays, to perc

Nobody shot me.

Littering is dumb.

We have nowhere else to go... this is all we have.

It looks like it's up to me to save our skins. Get into that garbage chute, flyboy!

The error of youth is to believe that intelligence is a substitute for experience, while the error of age is to believe experience is a substitute for intelligence.

Politics, like religion, hold up the torches of matrydom to the reformers of error.

History is nothing but a collection of fables and useless trifles, cluttered up with a mass of unnecessary figures and proper names.

Work is the crab grass in the lawn of life.

All of us should treasure his Oriental wisdom and his preaching of a Zen-like detachment, as exemplified by his constant reminder to clerks, tellers, or others who grew excited by his presence in their banks: "Just lie down on the floor and keep calm

Plastic... Aluminum... These are the inheritors of the Universe! Flesh and Blood have had their day... and that day is past!

To every Ph.D. there is an equal and opposite Ph.D.

You can never do just one thing.

Star Wars is adolescent nonsense; Close Encounters is obscurantist drivel; Star Trek can turn your brains to puree of bat guano; and the greatest science fiction series of all time is Doctor Who! And I'll take you all on, one-by-one or all in a bunc

If you only have a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail.

Civilization is the limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessities.

If reporters don't know that truth is plural, they ought to be lawyers.

Hain't we got all the fools in town on our side? And hain't that a big enough majority in any town?

The old complaint that mass culture is designed for eleven-year-olds is of course a shameful canard. The key age has traditionally been more like fourteen.

There are no accidents whatsoever in the universe.

"Necessity is the mother of invention" is a silly proverb. "Necessity is the mother of futile dodges" is much nearer the truth.

I paid a visit to my local precinct in Greenwich Village and asked a sergeant to show me some rape statistics. He politely obliged. That month there had been thirty-five rape complaints, an advance of ten over the same month for the previous year.

Walking on water wasn't built in a day.

Good salesmen and good repairmen will never go hungry.

Living in New York City gives people real incentives to want things that nobody else wants.

Don't be humble ... you're not that great.

The Worst Musical Trio There are few bad musicians who have a chance to give a recital at a famous concert hall while still learning the rudiments of their instrument. This happened about thirty years ago to the son of a Rumanian gentleman who was

Jesus may love you, but I think you're garbage wrapped in skin.

The Least Successful Executions History has furnished us with two executioners worthy of attention. The first performed in Sydney in Australia. In 1803 three attempts were made to hang a Mr. Joseph Samuels. On the first two of these the rope snap

Maternity pay? Now every Tom, Dick and Harry will get pregnant.

When you are at Rome live in the Roman style; when you are elsewhere live as they live elsewhere.

There has been a little distress selling on the stock exchange.

The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.

To lead people, you must follow behind.

Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names the streets after them.

A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.

What!? Me worry?

But the greatest Electrical Pioneer of them all was Thomas Edison, who was a brilliant inventor despite the fact that he had little formal education and lived in New Jersey. Edison's first major invention in 1877, was the phonograph, which could soo

Thieves respect property; they merely wish the property to become their property that they may more perfectly respect it.

I would like to electrocute everyone who uses the word 'fair' in connection with income tax policies.

Nothing is illegal if one hundred businessmen decide to do it.

Something's rotten in the state of Denmark.

Remember that there is an outside world to see and enjoy.

I need another lawyer like I need another hole in my head.

It's no surprise that things are so screwed up: everyone that knows how to run a government is either driving taxicabs or cutting hair.

The graveyards are full of indispensable men.

I do desire we may be better strangers.

When we are planning for posterity, we ought to remember that virtue is not hereditary.

Governor Tarkin. I should have expected to find you holding Vader's leash. I thought I recognized your foul stench when I was brought on board.

Misery no longer loves company. Nowadays it insists on it.

The problem with any unwritten law is that you don't know where to go to erase it.

Charity begins at home.

A place for everything and everything in its place.

Fear is the greatest salesman.

Sic transit gloria mundi. [So passes away the glory of this world.]

The mosquito is the state bird of New Jersey.

There's no such thing as an original sin.

It is easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them.

"If once a man indulges himself in murder, very soon he comes to think little of robbing; and from robbing he next comes to drinking and Sabbath-breaking, and from that to incivility and procrastination."

Diplomacy is the art of letting the other party have things your way.

Crucifixes are sexy because there's a naked man on them.

... so long as the people do not care to exercise their freedom, those who wish to tyrranize will do so; for tyrants are active and ardent, and will devote themselves in the name of any number of gods, religious and otherwise, to put shackles upon sl

To think contrary to one's era is heroism. But to speak against it is madness.

He that bringeth a present, findeth the door open.

He who knows, does not speak. He who speaks, does not know.

Mankind is poised midway between the gods and the beasts.

New Jersey is not the armpit of the nation; it's the asshole of the universe.

The sooner you make your first 5000 mistakes, the sooner you will be able to correct them.

He thought of Musashi, the Sword Saint, standing in his garden more than three hundred years ago. "What is the 'Body of a rock'?" he was asked. In answer, Musashi summoned a pupil of his and bid him kill himself by slashing his abdomen with a knife.

... [concerning quotation marks] even if we *___did* quote anybody in this business, it probably would be gibberish.

L'hazard ne favorise que l'esprit prepare.

Column 1 Column 2 Column 3 0. integrated 0. management 0. options 1. total 1. organizational 1. flexibility 2. systematized 2. monitored 2. capability 3. parallel 3. reciprocal 3. mobility 4. functional 4. digital 4. programming 5. re

All of the true things I am about to tell you are shameless lies.

When eating an elephant take one bite at a time.

The profession of book writing makes horse racing seem like a solid, stable business.

We are not a loved organization, but we are a respected one.

Live within your income, even if you have to borrow to do so.

A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the word you first thought of.

You can always pick up your needle and move to another groove.

Sho' they got to have it against the law. Shoot, ever'body git high, they wouldn't be nobody git up and feed the chickens. Hee-hee.

Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do. Play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do.

America, how can I write a holy litany in your silly mood?

What you want, what you're hanging around in the world waiting for, is for something to occur to you.

Better late than never.

By working faithfully eight hours a day, you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve.

You can tell the ideals of a nation by its advertisements.

The greatest griefs are those we cause ourselves.

What fools these mortals be.

All Gods were immortal.

A snake lurks in the grass.

Now, you might ask, "How do I get one of those complete home tool sets for under $4?" An excellent question. Go to one of those really cheap discount stores where they sell plastic furniture in colors visible from the planet Neptune and where they

America is a large, friendly dog in a very small room. Every time it wags its tail, it knocks over a chair.

It is either through the influence of narcotic potions, of which all primitive peoples and races speak in hymns, or through the powerful approach of spring, penetrating with joy all of nature, that those Dionysian stirrings arise, which in their int

No house should ever be on any hill or on anything. It should be of the hill, belonging to it.

I am America's child, a spastic slogging on demented limbs drooling I'll trade my PhD for a telephone voice.

I am a friend of the working man, and I would rather be his friend than be one.

God shows his contempt for wealth by the kind of person he selects to receive it.

As Gen. de Gaulle occassionally acknowledges America to be the daughter of Europe, so I am pleased to come to Yale, the daughter of Harvard.

Home is where the hurt is.

Democracy is the worst form of government except all those other forms that have been tried from time to time.

Most Texans think Hanukkah is some sort of duck call.

My father was a creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, it seems, begins where yours left off.

If Karl, instead of writing a lot about Capital, had made a lot of Capital, it would have been much better.

A yawn is a silent shout.

The future not being born, my friend, we will abstain from baptizing it.

"Jesus saves...but Gretzky gets the rebound!"

The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring a nature that it will last through a whole lifetime, if not asked to lend money.

The truth is rarely pure, and never simple.

Fraud is the homage that force pays to reason.

I never deny, I never contradict. I sometimes forget.

Genius is pain.

Judges, as a class, display, in the matter of arranging alimony, that reckless generosity which is found only in men who are giving away someone else's cash.

Fortune Documents the Great Legal Decisions: We think that we may take judicial notice of the fact that the term "bitch" may imply some feeling of endearment when applied to a female of the canine species but that it is seldom, if ever, so used whe

There's no justice in this world.

I remember when legal used to mean lawful, now it means some kind of loophole.

"Is it just me, or does anyone else read `bible humpers' every time someone writes `bible thumpers?'