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The American system of ours, call it Americanism, call it Capitalism,
call it what you like, gives each and every one of us a great
opportunity if we only seize it with both hands and make the most of it.
 S. Paige
What does not destroy me, makes me stronger.
 Sabbath
Black
Practice yourself what you preach.
 Sade Marquis
The meek shall inherit the earth, but *not* its mineral rights.
 Sagan
Carl
Sometimes a man who deserves to be looked down upon because he is a
fool is despised only because he is a lawyer.
 Sagan
Carl
Television has proved that people will look at anything rather than each other.
 Saint-Exupery
Antoine de
The worst thing about some men is that when they are not drunk they are sober.
 Saint-Exupery
Antoine de
The mome rath isn't born that could outgrabe me.
 Saint-Exupery
Antoine de
Chapter 1
The story so far:
In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot
of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.
 Saki Tre
The danger is not that a particular class is unfit to govern. Every class
is unfit to govern.
 Salinger
J. D.
Imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality.
 Salvor Hardin
Language is a virus from another planet.
 Samuel Beckett
A sinking ship gathers no moss.
 Samuel Butler
I'm going to raise an issue and stick it in your ear.
 Samuel Johnson
There must be more to life than having everything.
 Samuels
Jim
Once the toothpaste is out of the tube, it's hard to get it back in.
 Samuels
Jim
The world is full of people who have never, since childhood, met an
open doorway with an open mind.
 Sandburg
Carl
Hope not, lest ye be disappointed.
 Sandburg
Carl
The most recent attempt to revive the moribund campus left, a national
conference held at Rutgers University February 5-7, ended when the
participants decided that they were too racist to found a new national
organization.
The stated goal of the c Sandburg
Carl
One man's brain plus one other will produce one half as many ideas as one
man would have produced alone. These two plus two more will produce half
again as many ideas. These four plus four more begin to represent a
creative meeting, and the ratio c Sandra Gotlieb
To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.
 Santayana
George
I often quote myself; it adds spice to my conversation.
 Santayana
George
You know you are getting old when you think you should drive the speed limit.
 Santayana
George
Go not to the elves for counsel, for they will say both yes and no.
 Santayana
George
Creativity in living is not without its attendant difficulties, for
peculiarity breeds contempt. And the unfortunate thing about being
ahead of your time when people finally realize you were right, they'll
say it was obvious all along.
 Sartre
Jean Paul
Old age is the harbor of all ills.
 Sartre
Jean-Paul
Men's skin is different from women's skin. It is usually bigger, and
it has more snakes tattooed on it. Also, if you examine a woman's skin
very closely, inch by inch, starting at her shapely ankles, then gently
tracing the slender curve of her cal Sartre
Jean-Paul
Even if you persuade me, you won't persuade me.
 Satie
Erik
If there is a wrong way to do something, then someone will do it.
 Sayle
Alexie
Indomitable in retreat; invincible in advance; insufferable in victory.
 Sayre
Wallace
The avoidance of taxes is the only intellectual pursuit that carries any
reward.
 Schaeberle R.
In the highest society, as well as in the lowest, woman is merely an
instrument of pleasure.
 Schenk
R.E.
Lookie, lookie, here comes cookie...
 Schiller Friedrich
"Is it just me, or does anyone else read `bible humpers' every time
someone writes `bible thumpers?'
 Schlafly
Phyllis
A little bit of rape is good for a man's soul.
 Schmidt
If what they've been doing hasn't solved the problem, tell them to
do something else.
 Schmidt
Dr. Harrison H.
Even God cannot change the past.
 Schopenhauer
Just weigh your own hurt against the hurt of all the others, and then
do what's best.
 Schopenhauer
The mosquito is the state bird of New Jersey.
 Schrodinger
Edwim
I acted to show my love for Jodie Foster.
 Schultz
C.
If a nation values anything more than freedom, it will lose its freedom;
and the irony of it is that if it is comfort or money it values more, it
will lose that, too.
 Schulz
The knowledge that makes us cherish innocence makes innocence unattainable.
 Schulz
I've got all the money I'll ever need if I die by 4 o'clock.
 Schulz
C.
I paid a visit to my local precinct in Greenwich Village and
asked a sergeant to show me some rape statistics. He politely obliged.
That month there had been thirty-five rape complaints, an advance of ten
over the same month for the previous year.  Schulz
Charles
I got vision, and the rest of the world wears bifocals.
 Schwambach
Stephen R.
There is a road to freedom. Its milestones are Obedience, Endeavor, Honesty,
Order, Cleanliness, Sobriety, Truthfulness, Sacrifice, and love of the
Fatherland.
 Schweitzer
A.
Lots of folks confuse bad management with destiny.
 Schweitzer
Albert
"Life is too important to take seriously."
 Schweitzer
Albert
Someday we'll look back on this moment and plow into a parked car.
 Scott
The primary theme of SoupCon is communication. The acronym "LEO"
represents the secondary theme:
Law Enforcement Officials
The overall theme of SoupCon shall be:
Avoiding Communication with Law Enforcement Officials
 Scott
Gene
In "King Henry VI, Part II," Shakespeare has Dick Butcher suggest to
his fellow anti-establishment rabble-rousers, "The first thing we do, let's
kill all the lawyers." That action may be extreme but a similar sentiment
was expressed by Thomas K. Co Secundus
Gaius Plinius
Divorce is a game played by lawyers.
 Seeger
Pete
Sometimes I get the feeling that I went to a party on Perry Lane in 1962, and
the party spilled out of the house, and came down the street, and covered the
world.
 Seldon
Nick
There has been a little distress selling on the stock exchange.
 Sendak
Maurice
It's no surprise that things are so screwed up: everyone that knows how
to run a government is either driving taxicabs or cutting hair.
 Seneca
It has long been noticed that juries are pitiless for robbery and full of
indulgence for infanticide. A question of interest, my dear Sir! The jury
is afraid of being robbed and has passed the age when it could be a victim
of infanticide.
 Seneca
After the game the king and the pawn go in the same box.
 Seneca
Lucius Annaeus
Some scholars are like donkeys, they merely carry a lot of books.
 Seneca
Lucius Annaeus
I always pass on good advice. It is the only thing to do with it.
It is never any good to oneself.
 Seneca
Lucius Annaeus
Alas, I am dying beyond my means.
 Seneca
Lucius Annaeus
The Worst Jury
A murder trial at Manitoba in February 1978 was well advanced, when
one juror revealed that he was completely deaf and did not have the
remotest clue what was happening.
The judge, Mr. Justice Solomon, asked him if he had heard any
 Serling
Rod
What fools these mortals be.
 Sevareid
Eric
When the speaker and he to whom he is speaks do not understand, that is
metaphysics.
 Sevig Mme De
I have had my television aerials removed. It's the moral equivalent
of a prostate operation.
 Shake William
NEW YORK Shake William
You can bear anything if it isn't your own fault.
 Shake William
About the time we think we can make ends meet, somebody moves the ends.
 Shake William
To be excellent when engaged in administration is to be like the North
Star. As it remains in its one position, all the other stars surround it.
 Shake William
The man who follows the crowd will usually get no further than the crowd. The
man who walks alone is likely to find himself in places no one has ever been.
 Shake William
Writing is easy; all you do is sit staring at the blank sheet of paper until
drops of blood form on your forehead.
 Shake William
Were there no women, men might live like gods.
 Shake William
No group of professionals meets except to conspire against the public at large.
 Shake William
I need another lawyer like I need another hole in my head.
 Shake William
Awash with unfocused desire, Everett twisted the lobe of his one remaining
ear and felt the presence of somebody else behind him, which caused terror
to push through his nervous system like a flash flood roaring down the
mid-fork of the Feather River Shake William
Why am I so soft in the middle when the rest of my life is so hard?
 Shakes William
XI:
If the Earth could be made to rotate twice as fast, managers would
get twice as much done. If the Earth could be made to rotate twenty
times as fast, everyone else would get twice as much done since all
the managers would fly off.
XII:
I Shakes William
"Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company."
 Shakesp William
I am looking for a honest man.
 Shakesp William
To err is human, to repent, divine, to persist, devilish.
 Shakesp William
A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject.
 Shakespea Wm.
Most people deserve each other.
 Shakespear
This is an especially good time for you vacationers who plan to fly, because
the Reagan administration, as part of the same policy under which it
recently sold Yellowstone National Park to Wayne Newton, has "deregulated"
the airline industry. What t Shakespear William
Some men are heterosexual, and some are bisexual, and some men don't think
about sex at all... they become lawyers.
 Shakespear William
Giving money and power to governments is like giving whiskey and
car keys to teenage boys.
 Shakespear William
Consider well the proportions of things. It is better to be a young June-bug
than an old bird of paradise.
 Shakespear William
Diplomacy is to do and say, the nastiest thing in the nicest way.
 Shakespear William
Trust in Allah, but tie your camel.
 Shakespeare
I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.
 Shakespeare
In this world of sin and sorrow there is always something to be
thankful for; as for me, I rejoice that I am not a Republican.
 Shakespeare
Joe Cool always spends the first two weeks at college sailing his frisbee.
 Shakespeare
Is uniformity attainable? Millions of innocent men, women, and
children, since the introduction of Christianity, have been burnt,
tortured, fined, imprisoned; yet we have not advanced one inch towards
uniformity. What has been the effect of coercio Shakespeare
Politicians speak for their parties, and parties never are, never have
been, and never will be wrong.
 Shakespeare
I consider a new device or technology to have been culturally accepted when
it has been used to commit a murder.
 Shakespeare
William
The primary cause of failure in electrical appliances is an expired
warranty. Often, you can get an appliance running again simply by changing
the warranty expiration date with a 15/64-inch felt-tipped marker.
 Shakespeare
Wm.
The chief cause of problems is solutions.
 Shakespeare
Wm.
I never did give anybody hell. I just told the truth and they thought
it was hell.
 Shakespeare
I never cheated an honest man, only rascals. They wanted something for
nothing. I gave them nothing for something.
 Shakespeare
Religion has done love a great service by making it a sin.
 Shakespeare
San Francisco isn't what it used to be, and it never was.
 Shakespeare
I'm never through with a girl until I've had her three ways.
 Shakespeare
Facts are the enemy of truth.
 Shakespeare
The two most beautiful words in the English language are "Cheque Enclosed."
 Shakespeare
Armenians and Azerbaijanis in Stepanakert, capital of the Nagorno-Karabakh
autonomous region, rioted over much needed spelling reform in the Soviet Union.
 Shakespeare
Monterey... is decidedly the pleasantest and most civilized-looking place
in California ... [it] is also a great place for cock-fighting, gambling
of all sorts, fandangos, and various kinds of amusements and knavery.
 Shakespeare
I would have made a good pope.
 Shakespeare
My brain is my second favorite organ.
 Shakespeare
God is the tangential point between zero and infinity.
 Shakespeare
Force has no place where there is need of skill.
 Shakespeare
The superior man understands what is right; the inferior man understands
what will sell.
 Shakespeare
Do not despair of life. You have no doubt force enough to overcome your
obstacles. Think of the fox prowling through wood and field in a winter night
for something to satisfy his hunger. Notwithstanding cold and hounds and
traps, his race survives Shakespeare William
Whatever doesn't succeed in two months and a half in California will
never succeed.
 Shakespeare William
Those who have had no share in the good fortunes of the mighty
Often have a share in their misfortunes.
 Shakespeare William
Serfs up!
 Shakespeare William
Playing an unamplified electric guitar is like strumming on a picnic table.
 Shakespeare William
I have never understood this liking for war. It panders to instincts
already catered for within the scope of any respectable domestic establishment.
 Shakespeare William
Life is the living you do, Death is the living you don't do.
 Shakespeare William
... why should you waste a single moment of *your* life seeming to be something
you don't want to be? Lord, that's so simple. If you hate your job, quit it.
If your friends are tedious, go out and find new friends. You are queer, you
lucky fool, a Shakespeare William
... Our second completely true news item was sent to me by Mr. H. Boyce
Connell Jr. of Atlanta, Ga., where he is involved in a law firm. One thing
I like about the South is, folks there care about tradition. If somebody
gets handed a name like "H.  Shakespeare William
Grief can take care of itself; but to get the full value of a joy you must
have somebody to divide it with.
 Shakespeare William
With reasonable men I will reason;
with humane men I will plead;
but to tyrants I will give no quarter.
 Shakespeare William
Two wrongs are only the beginning.
 Shakespeare William
The only happiness lies in reason; all the rest of the world is dismal.
The highest reason, however, I see in the work of the artist, and he may
experience it as such. Happiness lies in the swiftness of feeling and
thinking: all the rest of the worl Shakespeare William
After his Ignoble Disgrace, Satan was being expelled from
Heaven. As he passed through the Gates, he paused a moment in thought,
and turned to God and said, "A new creature called Man, I hear, is soon
to be created."
"This is true," He replied.
 Shakespeare William
It is imperative when flying coach that you restrain any tendency toward
the vividly imaginative. For although it may momentarily appear to be the
case, it is not at all likely that the cabin is entirely inhabited by
crying babies smoking inexpensiv Shakespeare William
Judges, as a class, display, in the matter of arranging alimony, that
reckless generosity which is found only in men who are giving away
someone else's cash.
 Shakespeare William
Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it.
 Shakespeare William
If there were a school for, say, sheet metal workers, that after three
years left its graduates as unprepared for their careers as does law
school, it would be closed down in a minute, and no doubt by lawyers.
 Shakespeare Wm.
I prefer rogues to imbeciles because they sometimes take a rest.
 Shan Wayne
War hath no fury like a non-combatant.
 Shannon
Wayne
Man is by nature a political animal.
 Shaw
G. B.
"The Army is a place where you get up early in the morning to be yelled
at by people with short haircuts and tiny brains."
 Shaw
G. B.
Ah, but a man's grasp should exceed his reach,
Or what's a heaven for ?
 Shaw
G.B.
Home is the place where, when you have to go there, they have to take you in.
 Shaw
G.B.
We seldom repent talking too little, but very often talking too much.
 Shaw
G.B.
The bone-chilling scream split the warm summer night in two, the first
half being before the scream when it was fairly balmy and calm and
pleasant, the second half still balmy and quite pleasant for those who
hadn't heard the scream at all, but not c Shaw
G.B.
"I can remember when a good politician had to be 75 percent ability and 25
percent actor, but I can well see the day when the reverse could be true."
 Shaw
G.B.
The price one pays for pursuing any profession, or calling, is an intimate
knowledge of its ugly side.
 Shaw
G.B.
The way of the world is to praise dead saints and prosecute live ones.
 Shaw
G.B.
Educational television should be absolutely forbidden. It can only lead
to unreasonable disappointment when your child discovers that the letters
of the alphabet do not leap up out of books and dance around with
royal-blue chickens.
 Shaw
G.B.
The first requisite for immortality is death.
 Shaw
George Bernard
The first rule of all intelligent tinkering is to keep all the parts.
 Shaw
George Bernard
How do you explain school to a higher intelligence?
 Shaw
George Bernard
Confessions may be good for the soul, but they are bad for the reputation.
 Shaw
George Bernard
When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.
 Shaw
George Bernard
It is enough to make one sympathize with a tyrant for the determination
of his courtiers to deceive him for their own personal ends...
 Shaw
George Bernard
Writing about music is like dancing about architecture.
 Shaw
George Bernard
The Least Successful Equal Pay Advertisement
In 1976 the European Economic Community pointed out to the Irish
Government that it had not yet implemented the agreed sex equality
legislation. The Dublin Government immediately advertised for an equal  Shaw
George Bernard
Youth is a blunder, manhood a struggle, old age a regret.
 Shaw
George Bernard
We should be glad we're living in the time that we are. If any of us had been
born into a more enlightened age, I'm sure we would have immediately been taken
out and shot.
 Shaw
George Bernard
There are a lot of lies going around.... and half of them are true.
 Shaw
George Bernard
If any man wishes to be humbled and mortified, let him become president
of Harvard.
 Shaw G. B.
What does education often do? It makes a straight cut ditch of a
free meandering brook.
 Shaw George Bernard
Suicide is the sincerest form of self-criticism.
 Shaw Pygmali
She cried, and the judge wiped her tears with my checkbook.
 Shawn
Wally
There is no comfort without pain; thus we define salvation through suffering.
 Shay
R.E.
Life is the childhood of our immortality.
 Shelton
Richard
It is necessary for the welfare of society that genius should be privileged
to utter sedition, to blaspheme, to outrage good taste, to corrupt the
youthful mind, and generally to scandalize one's uncles.
 Shepard
Paul
It is sweet to let the mind unbend on occasion.
 Sheridan
The very first essential for success is a perpetually constant and regular
employment of violence.
 Sherlock Holmes
Already the spirit of our schooling is permeated with the feeling that every
subject, every topic, every fact, every professed truth must be submitted
to a certain publicity and impartiality. All proffered samples of learning
must go to the same ass Sherlock Holmes
Your wig steers the gig.
 Sherlock Holmes
Washington [D.C.] is a city of Southern efficiency and Northern charm.
 Shields
Brooke
A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats.
 Shirley
Nothing matters very much, and few things matter at all.
 Shirley Hazzard
Fill what's empty, empty what's full, scratch where it itches.
 Shirley Jackson
If at first you don't succeed, you're doing about average.
 Shoaff
Edgar A.
The typewriting machine, when played with expression, is no more
annoying than the piano when played by a sister or near relation.
 Shoales
Ian
Since everything in life is but an experience perfect in being what it is,
having nothing to do with good or bad, acceptance or rejection, one may well
burst out in laughter.
 Sidney
Another day, another dollar.
 Sidney Greenstreet
I BET WHAT HAPPENED was they discovered fire and invented the wheel on
the same day. Then that night, they burned the wheel.
 Sidney Paternoster
I would like to electrocute everyone who uses the word 'fair' in connection
with income tax policies.
 Sidney Smith
Inglish Spocken Hier: some mangled translations
Sign on a cathedral in Spain:
It is forbidden to enter a woman, even a foreigner if
dressed as a man.
Above the enterance to a Cairo bar:
Unaccompanied ladies not admitted unless with husb Siegel
Corky
A platitude is simply a truth repeated till people get tired of hearing it.
 Siegel
No character, however upright, is a match for constantly reiterated attacks,
however false.
 Silve James Cabell
A Polish worker walks into a bank to deposit his paycheck. He has heard
about Poland's economic problems, and he asks what would happen to his
money if the bank collapsed. "All of our deposits are guaranteed by the
finance ministry, sir," the telle Simon
Paul
Would that my hand were as swift as my tongue.
 Simpson
Bart
The angry man always thinks he can do more than he can.
 Sinbad
A morgue is a morgue is a morgue. They can paint the walls with aggressively
cheerful primary colors and splashy bold graphics, but it's still a holding
place for the dead until they can be parted out to organ banks. Not that I
would have cared nor Sinbad
No is no negative in a woman's mouth.
 Sinclair
John
Save the Whales  Sinclair Lewis
Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution
inevitable.
 Skinner
B.F.
Your chances of getting hit by lightning go up if you stand under a tree,
shake your fist at the sky, and say, "Storms suck!"
 Sky
Patrick
Criticism comes easier than craftsmanship.
 Skywalker
Luke
The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.
 Skywalker
Luke
If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow
morning, sleep late.
 Skywalker
Luke
As long as I am mayor of this city [Jersey City, New Jersey] the great
industries are secure. We hear about constitutional rights, free speech
and the free press. Every time I hear these words I say to myself, "That
man is a Red, that man is a Comm Skywalker
Luke
Cautious, careful people always casting about to preserve their
reputation or social standards never can bring about reform. Those
who are totally in earnest are willing to be anything or nothing in
the world's estimation, and publicly and privately Sloan
John
Executive ability is deciding quickly and getting somebody else to do
the work.
 Smith
Alexander
Every improvement in communication makes the bore more terrible.
 Smith
Alvy Ray
The lawgiver, of all beings, most owes the law allegiance. He of all men
should behave as though the law compelled him. But it is the universal
weakness of mankind that what we are given to administer we presently imagine
we own.
 Smith
Evelyn E.
With Congress, every time they make a joke it's a law; and every time
they make a law it's a joke.
 Smith
H. Allen
In childhood a woman must be subject to her father; in youth to her
husband; when her husband is dead, to her sons. A woman must never
be free of subjugation.
 Smith
J. Winter
I sometimes think that God, in creating man, somewhat overestimated his ability.
 Smith
Jonathan Michael
Something unpleasant is coming when men are anxious to tell the truth.
 Smith
Malcolm
He is now rising from affluence to poverty.
 Smith
Mike
...He who laughs does not believe in what he laughs at, but neither
does he hate it. Therefore, laughing at evil means not preparing oneself to
combat it, and laughing at good means denying the power through which good is
self-propagating.
 Smith
Nancy Banks
The problem with me is that I am fifty or one hundred years ahead of my
time. My speed is very fast. Some ministers have had to drop out of my
government because they could not keep up.
 Smith
Red
The goys have proven the following theorem...
 Smith
Sydney
Man is the only animal that laughs and weeps; for he is the only animal
that is struck with the difference between what things are and what they
ought to be.
 Smith Allen
Any president should have the right to shoot at least two people a year
without explanation.
 Smith Allen
There's nothing to writing. All you do is sit at a typewriter and open a vein.
 Smith v. Moran
Skill without imagination is craftsmanship and gives us many useful objects
such as wickerwork picnic baskets. Imagination without skill gives us modern
art.
 Smith v. Moran
The abuse of greatness is when it disjoins remorse from power.
 Smith v. Moran
For certain people, after fifty, litigation takes the place of sex.
 Smithsonian Maga
Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. My advice to you is to have
nothing whatever to do with it.
 Smolla Rodney
We are going to have peace even if we have to fight for it.
 Smollet
Tobias
Hindsight is always 20:20.
 Sneyd
Doug
Naked children have never played in _o_u_r fountains, and I.M. Pei will
never be happy on Route 66.
 Snoopy
Youth is a disease from which we all recover.
 Snoopy
Once is happenstance,
Twice is coincidence,
Three times is enemy action.
 Snow
C. P.
Patience is a minor form of despair, disguised as virtue.
 Snow
Carrie
Life is one long struggle in the dark.
 Soaper
Senator
I try not to break the rules but merely to test their elasticity.
 Soc Michael Levin
It takes all kinds to fill the freeways.
 Socrates
An Englishman never enjoys himself, except for a noble purpose.
 Socrates
We all live in a state of ambitious poverty.
 Socrates
Laws are like sausages. It's better not to see them being made.
 Solo
Han
The perfect friend sees the best in you  Solo
Han
If you cannot convince them, confuse them.
 Solo
Han
I am just a nice, clean-cut Mongolian boy.
 Solo
Han
You probably wouldn't worry about what people think of you if you could
know how seldom they do.
 Solo
Han
An efficient and a successful administration manifests itself equally in
small as in great matters.
 Solo
Han
My advice to you, my violent friend, is to seek out gold and sit on it.
 Solo
Han
In "King Henry VI, Part II," Shakespeare has Dick Butcher suggest to
his fellow anti-establishment rabble-rousers, "The first thing we do, let's
kill all the lawyers." That action may be extreme but a similar sentiment
was expressed by Thomas K. Co Solo
Han
The horizon of many people is a circle with a radius of zero. They call
this their point of view.
 Solzhenitsyn Aleksandr I.
The superpowers often behave like two heavily armed blind men feeling
their way around a room, each believing himself in mortal peril from the
other, whom he assumes to have perfect vision. Each tends to ascribe to
the other side a consistency, fors Solzhenitsyn Aleksandr I.
When you have an efficient government, you have a dictatorship.
 Somoza Anastasio
There is nothing more silly than a silly laugh.
 Sondheim
Stephen
Writing is turning one's worst moments into money.
 Sontag
Susan
I went to my mother and told her I intended to commence a different life. I
asked for and obtained her blessing and at once commenced the career of a
robber.
 Sontag
Susan
Peace cannot be kept by force; it can only be achieved by understanding.
 Sontag
Susan
Nothing, nothing, nothing, no error, no crime is so absolutely repugnant
to God as everything which is official; and why? because the official is
so impersonal and therefore the deepest insult which can be offered to a
personality.
 Sophocles
WE'RE GOING TO THROW THE MX AWAY AFTER WE BUILD IT. The MX is really
[Don't tell anybody!] just a "bargaining chip" in the nuclear-arms-
reduction talks with the Russians. See, we have a problem with the
Russians. They look at our leaders and they Sophocles
I go on working for the same reason a hen goes on laying eggs.
 Soul
Messiah
I try to keep an open mind, but not so open that my brains fall out.
 Soul
Messiah
Only that in you which is me can hear what I'm saying.
 Southern
Terry
Young men think old men are fools; but old men know young men are fools.
 Southern
Terry
The Almighty in His infinite wisdom did not see fit to create Frenchmen
in the image of Englishmen.
 Southern
Terry
Cold is God's way of teling us to burn more Catholics.
 Spartacus
This sad little lizard told me that he was a brontosaurus on his mother's
side. I did not laugh; people who boast of ancestry often have little
else to sustain them. Humoring them costs nothing and adds happiness in
a world in which happiness is al Speer
Albert
No one so thoroughly appreciates the value of constructive criticism as the
one who's giving it.
 Spider Robinson
British education is probably the best in the world, if you can survive
it. If you can't there is nothing left for you but the diplomatic corps.
 Spinoza
You can't have your cake and let your neighbor eat it too.
 Spr Robert D.
I respect faith, but doubt is what gives you an education.
 Spurgeon
Charles
The best you get is an even break.
 Stalin
Joseph
I always wake up at the crack of ice.
 Stalin
Joseph
When in doubt, have a man come through the door with a gun in his hand.
 Stalin
Joseph
In the misfortune of our friends we find something that is not displeasing
to us.
 Stalin
Joseph
If Jesus Christ came to this town, people would say, great guy; terrible
carpenter.
 Stallman
R.
Nasrudin returned to his village from the imperial capital, and the villagers
gathered around to hear what had passed. "At this time," said Nasrudin, "I
only want to say that the King spoke to me." All the villagers but the
stupidest ran off to spr Stamp
Sir Josiah
The faster we go, the rounder we get.
 Stand
An old Jewish man reads about Einstein's theory of relativity
in the newspaper and asks his scientist grandson to explain it to him.
"Well, zayda, it's sort of like this. Einstein says that if
you're having your teeth drilled without Novocain, a mi Stanislaw J. Lem
Your manuscript is both good and original, but the part that is good is not
original and the part that is original is not good.
 Stanislaw J. Lem
The sooner you make your first 5000 mistakes, the sooner you will be
able to correct them.
 Stanislaw Lem
It is your concern when your neighbor's wall is on fire.
 Stanislaw Lem
Our business in life is not to succeed but to continue to fail in high spirits.
 Stanley Kelley
Hating the Yankees is as American as pizza pie, unwed mothers and
cheating on your income tax.
 Starfighter
The Last
You can have peace. Or you can have freedom. Don't ever count on having
both at once.
 Stasheff Christopher
The doctrine of human equality reposes on this: that there is no man
really clever who has not found that he is stupid.
 Steinbeck John
All [zoos] actually offer to the public in return for the taxes spent
upon them is a form of idle and witless amusement, compared to which a
visit to a penitentiary, or even to a State legislature in session, is
informing, stimulating and ennobling.
 Steinem
Gloria
It is easy when we are in prosperity to give advice to the afflicted.
 Stekel
Wilhelm
Your friends will know you better in the first minute you meet than your
acquaintances will know you in a thousand years.
 Stendhal
Getting kicked out of the American Bar Association is liked getting kicked
out of the Book-of-the-Month Club.
 Stephen
Leslie
Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.
 Stephen Coonts
The human race is a race of cowards; and I am not only marching in that
procession but carrying a banner.
 Stephen Pile
There is a certain frame of mind to which a cemetery is, if not an antidote,
at least an alleviation. If you are in a fit of the blues, go nowhere else.
 Stephen Pile
You have to run as fast as you can just to stay where you are.
If you want to get anywhere, you'll have to run much faster.
 Stern
Jerome
He who despairs over an event is a coward, but he who holds hopes for
the human condition is a fool.
 Stevenson
Adlai
"Not Hercules could have knock'd out his brains, for he had none."
 Stevenson
Adlai
The opposite of talking isn't listening. The opposite of talking is waiting.
 Stevenson
Adlai
Good judgement comes from experience. Experience comes from bad judgement.
 Stevenson
Adlai
Anyone who knows history, particularly the history of Europe, will, I think,
recognize that the domination of education or of government by any one
particular religious faith is never a happy arrangement for the people.
 Stevenson
Adlai
Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
 Stevenson
Adlai
Plato, by the way, wanted to banish all poets from his proposed Utopia
because they were liars. The truth was that Plato knew philosophers
couldn't compete successfully with poets.
 Stevenson
Robert Louis
If you wants to get elected president, you'se got to think up some
memoraboble homily so's school kids can be pestered into memorizin'
it, even if they don't know what it means.
 Stevenson
Robert Louis
The confusion of a staff member is measured by the length of his memos.
 Stevenson
Robert Louis
Money is truthful. If a man speaks of his honor, make him pay cash.
 Stevenson Robert Louis
Some men are heterosexual, and some are bisexual, and some men don't think
about sex at all... they become lawyers.
 Stimson Henry
Bounders get bound when they are caught bounding.
 Stinnett Caskie
If happiness is in your destiny, you need not be in a hurry.
 Stolberg
Benjamin
In Hollywood, all marriages are happy. It's trying to live together
afterwards that causes the problems.
 Stone
I.F.
A conservative is a man who is too cowardly to fight and too fat to run.
 Stone
Judge Harold T.
There but for the grace of God, goes God.
 Stone
Judge Harold T.
If a man has a strong faith he can indulge in the luxury of skepticism.
 Stone
Robert
The government [is] extremely fond of amassing great quantities of statistics.
These are raised to the nth degree, the cube roots are extracted, and the
results are arranged into elaborate and impressive displays. What must be
kept ever in mind, how Stone
W. Clement
If one studies too zealously, one easily loses his pants.
 Stoppard
Tom
I have a dream. I have a dream that one day, on the red hills of Georgia,
the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slaveowners will be able to
sit down together at the table of brotherhood.
 Stoppard
Tom
You're always thinking you're gonna be the one that makes 'em act different.
 Storm
Johnny
A lie is an abomination unto the Lord and a very present help in time of
trouble.
 Strachey
Lionel
Another day, another dollar.
 Strange de Jim
To be is to be related.
 Strangers
Lovers and Other
Just once I would like to persuade the audience not to wear any article of
blue denim. If only they could see themselves in a pair of brown corduroys
like mine instead of this awful, boring blue denim. I don't enjoy the sky
or sea as much as I used Stravinsky
Why my thoughts are my own, when they are in, but when they are out they
are another's.
 Sturgeon
Theodore
When I hear a man applauded by the mob I always feel a pang of pity
for him. All he has to do to be hissed is to live long enough.
 Summer
Graham
Laughter is the closest distance between two people.
 Sunday
Billy
If you live long enough, you'll see that every victory turns into a defeat.
 Superchicken
Think sideways!
 Surtees
R.S.
Wagner's music is better than it sounds.
 Susan Brownmiller
Many a bum show has been saved by the flag.
 Swan Paradi
"Die? I should say not, dear fellow. No Barrymore would allow such a
conventional thing to happen to him."
 Swayze
John Cameron
If you float on instinct alone, how can you calculate the buoyancy for
the computed load?
 Swift
Jonathan
You can fool all the people all of the time if the advertising is right
and the budget is big enough.
 Swift
Jonathan
Imagine me going around with a pot belly. It would mean political ruin.
 Swift
Jonathan
The two oldest professions in the world have been ruined by amateurs.
 Sylvan
Kayvan
He liked fishing a little too much, and he believed that work was
something a man did when he had to. He had always been able to get
along well enough without it, especially for the last couple of
years.
 Syrus
Publilius
Go out and tell a lie that will make the whole family proud of you.
 Syrus
Publilius
Were it not for the presence of the unwashed and the half-educated, the
formless, queer and incomplete, the unreasonable and absurd, the infinite
shapes of the delightful human tadpole, the horizon would not wear so wide
a grin.
 Syrus
Publilius
When in doubt, do it. It's much easier to apologize than to get permission.
 Syrus
Publilius
There is a secret person undamaged within every individual.
 Syrus
Publilius
The human animal differs from the lesser primates in his passion for
lists of "Ten Best".
 Syrus
Publilius
A sad spectacle. If they be inhabited, what a scope for misery and folly.
If they be not inhabited, what a waste of space.
 Syrus
Publilius
"I've seen, I SAY, I've seen better heads on a mug of beer"
 Syrus
Publilius
The streets are safe in Philadelphia, it's only the people who make them unsafe.
 Syrus
Publilius
Never explain. Your friends do not need it and your enemies will never
believe you anyway.
 Syrus
Publilius
AWAKE! FEAR! FIRE! FOES! AWAKE!
FEAR! FIRE! FOES!
AWAKE! AWAKE!
 Syrus
Publilius
Where it is a duty to worship the sun it is pretty sure to be a crime to
examine the laws of heat.
 Syrus
Publius
Trying to define yourself is like trying to bite your own teeth.
 Szasz
Thomas
Never promise more than you can perform.
 Szasz
Thomas
There are three rules for writing a novel. Unfortunately, no one knows
what they are.
 saying
Folk
Never face facts; if you do you'll never get up in the morning.
 saying
Yiddish
Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre, but they are more
deadly in the long run.
 sees it constantly
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Random Quote
It's not enough to be Hungarian; you must have talent too.
 Korda
Alexander
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