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When you say that you agree to a thing in principle, you mean that you have not the slightest intention of carrying it out in practice.

T.S. Eliot


The `loner' may be respected, but he is always resented by his colleagues, for he seems to be passing a critical judgment on them, when he may be simply making a limiting statement about himself.

Tacitus


Everything is possible. Pass the word.

Tacitus


The only cultural advantage LA has over NY is that you can make a right turn on a red light.

Talleyrand Charles-Maurice De


Life is the childhood of our immortality.

Tao Te Ching


Government spending? I don't know what it's all about. I don't know any more about this thing than an economist does, and, God knows, he doesn't know much.

Tarkin Governor


I do not patronize poor, ill educated, or disenfranchised people by exempting them from the same critical examination I feel free to direct toward the rest of society, however much I might champion the same minority or disadvantaged group in the foru

Tarkington Booth


Democracy is a form of government that substitutes election by the incompetent many for appointment by the corrupt few.

Tarsus Paul of


Piece of cake!

Taylor Elizabeth


Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration.

Technology Aviation Week and Space


After the game the king and the pawn go in the same box.

Temple Shirley


I never deny, I never contradict. I sometimes forget.

Tennant Harry


The world wants to be deceived.

Terry Pratchett


Imitation is the sincerest form of television.

Terry Pratchett


It's the opinion of some that crops could be grown on the moon. Which raises the fear that it may not be long before we're paying somebody not to.

Texa J. Frank Dobie


Inglish Spocken Hier: some mangled translations Sign on a cathedral in Spain: It is forbidden to enter a woman, even a foreigner if dressed as a man. Above the enterance to a Cairo bar: Unaccompanied ladies not admitted unless with husb

Thatcher Margaret


Once a word has been allowed to escape, it cannot be recalled.

The Outer Limits


The public demands certainties; it must be told definitely and a bit raucously that this is true and that is false. But there are no certainties.

The Squirrels


Indeed, the first noble truth of Buddhism, usually translated as `all life is suffering,' is more accurately rendered `life is filled with a sense of pervasive unsatisfactoriness.'

Theophrastus


You have all eternity to be cautious in when you're dead.

Thomas Dylan


The devil can cite Scripture for his purpose.

Thomas Dylan


There are two ways of disliking poetry; one way is to dislike it, the other is to read Pope.

Thomas J. Parnell


If men are not afraid to die, it is of no avail to threaten them with death. If men live in constant fear of dying, And if breaking the law means a man will be killed, Who will dare to break the law? There is always an official executioner. If

Thomas Marlo


Take your work seriously but never take yourself seriously; and do not take what happens either to yourself or your work seriously.

Thomas Marlo


The Least Successful Equal Pay Advertisement In 1976 the European Economic Community pointed out to the Irish Government that it had not yet implemented the agreed sex equality legislation. The Dublin Government immediately advertised for an equal

Thomas Norman


On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does.

Thomas Carlyle


Alas, I am dying beyond my means.

Thomas Dave


A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds.

Thomas De Quincey


The public is an old woman. Let her maunder and mumble.

Thomas De Quincey


Talkers are no good doers.

Thomas De Quincey


If the American dream is for Americans only, it will remain our dream and never be our destiny.

Thomas Jefferson


All I kin say is when you finds yo'self wanderin' in a peach orchard, ya don't go lookin' for rutabagas.

Thomas King


Where it is a duty to worship the sun it is pretty sure to be a crime to examine the laws of heat.

Thomas Macaulay


He hath eaten me out of house and home.

Thomas W. Lamont


I love treason but hate a traitor.

Thompson Dr. Hunter S.


In Hollywood, all marriages are happy. It's trying to live together afterwards that causes the problems.

Thompson Dr. Hunter S.


But the greatest Electrical Pioneer of them all was Thomas Edison, who was a brilliant inventor despite the fact that he had little formal education and lived in New Jersey. Edison's first major invention in 1877, was the phonograph, which could soo

Thompson H.S.


'Scuse me, while I kiss the sky!

Thompson Hunter S.


In America, any boy may become president and I suppose that's just one of the risks he takes.

Thompson Hunter S.


It has been said [by Anatole France], "it is not by amusing oneself that one learns," and, in reply: "it is *____only* by amusing oneself that one can learn."

Thompson Ken


Recently deceased blues guitarist Stevie Ray Vaughan "comes to" after his death. He sees Jimi Hendrix sitting next to him, tuning his guitar. "Holy cow," he thinks to himself, "this guy is my idol." Over at the microphone, about to sing, are Jim Mo

Thore Henry David


It is Mr. Mellon's credo that $200,000,000 can do no wrong. Our offense consists in doubting it.

Thoreau


Let sleeping dogs lie.

Thoreau H.D.


During almost fifteen centuries the legal establishment of Christianity has been upon trial. What has been its fruits? More or less, in all places, pride and indolence in the clergy; ignorance and servility in the laity,; in both, superstition, bigo

Thoreau Henry David


The price of seeking to force our beliefs on others is that someday they might force their beliefs on us.

Thoreau Henry David


We were so poor we couldn't afford a watchdog. If we heard a noise at night, we'd bark ourselves.

Thoreau Henry David


Acting is not very hard. The most important things are to be able to laugh and cry. If I have to cry, I think of my sex life. And if I have to laugh, well, I think of my sex life.

Thoreau Henry David


Why am I so soft in the middle when the rest of my life is so hard?

Thoreau Henry David


In the olden days in England, you could be hung for stealing a sheep or a loaf of bread. However, if a sheep stole a loaf of bread and gave it to you, you would only be tried for receiving, a crime punishable by forty lashes with the cat or the dog,

Thoreau Henry David


The only thing that stops God from sending a second Flood is that the first one was useless.

Thoreau Henry David


The true way goes over a rope which is not stretched at any great height but just above the ground. It seems more designed to make people stumble than to be walked upon.

Thoreau Henry David


The Soviet Union, which has complained recently about alleged anti-Soviet themes in American advertising, lodged an official protest this week against the Ford Motor Company's new campaign: "Hey you stinking, fat Russian, get off my Ford Escort."

Thoreau David Henry


I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to.

Thurber James


Some scholars are like donkeys, they merely carry a lot of books.

Thurber James


America may be unique in being a country which has leapt from barbarism to decadence without touching civilization.

Thurber James


Well, he didn't know what to do, so he decided to look at the government, to see what they did, and scale it down and run his life that way.

Thurber James


If little else, the brain is an educational toy.

Ti Chuck Shepherd


Time is the most valuable thing a man can spend.

Tikkanen Henrik


If a guru falls in the forest with no one to hear him, was he really a guru at all?

Tiselius Arne


Ignorance is never out of style. It was in fashion yesterday, it is the rage today, and it will set the pace tomorrow.

Titus Livius


What we need in this country, instead of Daylight Savings Time, which nobody really understands anyway, is a new concept called Weekday Morning Time, whereby at 7 a.m. every weekday we go into a space-launch-style "hold" for two to three hours, durin

Tobaben


Politicians should read science fiction, not westerns and detective stories.

Tocqueville Alexis de


"Not only is God dead, but just try to find a plumber on weekends."

Todd Ruthven Campbell


I try to keep an open mind, but not so open that my brains fall out.

Tokugawa Shogun


A Tale of Two Cities LITE(tm)

Tolkien J. R. R.


If someone had told me I would be Pope one day, I would have studied harder.

Tolkien J. R. R.


Superstition, idolatry, and hypocrisy have ample wages, but truth goes a-begging.

Tolkien J. R. R.


Good salesmen and good repairmen will never go hungry.

Tolkien J. R. R.


Diplomacy is the art of saying "nice doggie" until you can find a rock.

Tolkien J.R.R.


A vacuum is a hell of a lot better than some of the stuff that nature replaces it with.

Tolkien J.R.R.


If you would know the value of money, go try to borrow some.

Tolkien J.R.R.


Education and religion are two things not regulated by supply and demand. The less of either the people have, the less they want.

Tolkien J.R.R.


Everything takes longer, costs more, and is less useful.

Tolstoy


Slaves are generally expected to sing as well as to work ... I did not, when a slave, understand the deep meanings of those rude, and apparently incoherent songs. I was myself within the circle, so that I neither saw nor heard as those without might

Tolstoy


Gay shlafen: Yiddish for "go to sleep". Now doesn't "gay shlafen" have a softer, more soothing sound than the harsh, staccato "go to sleep"? Listen to the difference: "Go to sleep, you little wretch!" ... "Gay shlafen, darling." Obvious, isn't

Tolstoy


The more the merrier.

Tolstoy


He played the king as if afraid someone else would play the ace.

Tolstoy Leo


Don't everyone thank me at once!

Tomash Erwin


If we can ever make red tape nutritional, we can feed the world.

Tomlin Lily


Whenever I hear anyone arguing for slavery, I feel a strong impulse to see it tried on him personally.

Tomlin Lily


I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark.

Tomlin Lily


There is no act of treachery or mean-ness of which a political party is not capable; for in politics there is no honour.

Tomlin Lily


Crito, I owe a cock to Asclepius; will you remember to pay the debt?

Tomlin Lily


If a jury in a criminal trial stays out for more than twenty-four hours, it is certain to vote acquittal, save in those instances where it votes guilty.

Tomlin Lily


Home is where the hurt is.

Tomlin Lily


The Hollywood tradition I like best is called "sucking up to the stars."

Tourbillon


Men will fuck mud.

Toynbee Arnold Joseph


Nothing is so firmly believed as that which we least know.

Tr Leon


AWAKE! FEAR! FIRE! FOES! AWAKE! FEAR! FIRE! FOES! AWAKE! AWAKE!

Trend Motor


By protracting life, we do not deduct one jot from the duration of death.

Trend Motor


Man is by nature a political animal.

Trend Motor


It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.

Trillin Calvin


If a jury in a criminal trial stays out for more than twenty-four hours, it is certain to vote acquittal, save in those instances where it votes guilty.

Trilling Lionel


I just need enough to tide me over until I need more.

Trotsky


When I came back to Dublin I was courtmartialed in my absence and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence.

Trudeau P.E.


Nice guys finish last.

Truman Harry


A rolling stone gathers no moss.

Truman Harry


We should have a great many fewer disputes in the world if only words were taken for what they are, the signs of our ideas only, and not for things themselves.

Truman Harry S.


She cried, and the judge wiped her tears with my checkbook.

Truman Harry S.


Every person, all the events in your life are there because you have drawn them there. What you choose to do with them is up to you.

Truman Harry S.


There's nothing remarkable about it. All one has to do is hit the right keys at the right time and the instrument plays itself.

Truman Harry S.


Three minutes' thought would suffice to find this out; but thought is irksome and three minutes is a long time.

Truman President Harry S.


One big pile is better than two little piles.

Tsu Lao


It's hard to drive at the limit, but it's harder to know where the limits are.

Tsu Lao


Pereant, inquit, qui ante nos nostra dixerunt. [Confound those who have said our remarks before us.] or [May they perish who have expressed our bright ideas before us.]

Tsu Lao


I: The best way to make a silk purse from a sow's ear is to begin with a silk sow. The same is true of money. II: If today were half as good as tomorrow is supposed to be, it would probably be twice as good as yesterday was. III: There are

Tsu Lao


Grig (the navigator): ... so you see, it's just the two of us against the entire space armada. Alex (the gunner): What?!? Grig: I've always wanted to fight a desperate battle against overwhelming odds. Alex: It'll be a slaughter! Grig: That'

Tsu Lao


A racially integrated community is a chronological term timed from the entrance of the first black family to the exit of the last white family.

Tsu Lao


It is something to be able to paint a particular picture, or to carve a statue, and so to make a few objects beautiful; but it is far more glorious to carve and paint the very atmosphere and medium through which we look, which morally we can do. T

Tsu Lao


The day will come when the mystical generation of Jesus, by the Supreme Being as his Father, in the womb of a virgin will be classified with the fable of the generation of Minerva in the brain of Jupiter. But we may hope that the dawn of reason and

Tsu Lao


"You can't survive by sucking the juice from a wet mitten."

Tsu Lao


Nasrudin returned to his village from the imperial capital, and the villagers gathered around to hear what had passed. "At this time," said Nasrudin, "I only want to say that the King spoke to me." All the villagers but the stupidest ran off to spr

Tsu Lao


For some reason a glaze passes over people's faces when you say "Canada". Maybe we should invade South Dakota or something.

Tsu Lao


There are three reasons for becoming a writer: the first is that you need the money; the second that you have something to say that you think the world should know; the third is that you can't think what to do with the long winter evenings.

Tsu Lao


Well, don't worry about it... It's nothing.

Tsu Lao


It is a wise father that knows his own child.

Tsu Lao


Innovation is hard to schedule.

Tuc The mayor of


We're living in a golden age. All you need is gold.

Turgenev


But you shall not escape my iambics.

Turner Ted


There's no such thing as a free lunch.

Turner Ted


A kind of Batman of contemporary letters.

Tusser Thomas


Gratitude and treachery are merely the two extremities of the same procession. You have seen all of it that is worth staying for when the band and the gaudy officials have gone by.

Tusser Thomas


My theology, briefly, is that the universe was dictated but not signed.

Twain Mark


A furore Normanorum libera nos, O Domine! [From the fury of the norsemen deliver us, O Lord!]

Twain Mark


"Not Hercules could have knock'd out his brains, for he had none."

Twain Mark


If I could reach, I'd never leave the house.

Twain Mark


Standards are different for all things, so the standard set by man is by no means the only 'certain' standard. If you mistake what is relative for something certain, you have strayed far from the ultimate truth.

Twain Mark


When we are planning for posterity, we ought to remember that virtue is not hereditary.

Twain Mark


... A solemn, unsmiling, sanctimonious old iceberg who looked like he was waiting for a vacancy in the Trinity.

Twain Mark


He that teaches himself has a fool for a master.

Twain Mark


Sic transit gloria mundi. [So passes away the glory of this world.]

Twain Mark


Wagner's music is better than it sounds.

Twain Mark


As Gen. de Gaulle occassionally acknowledges America to be the daughter of Europe, so I am pleased to come to Yale, the daughter of Harvard.

Twain Mark


Freedom is slavery. Ignorance is strength. War is peace.

Twain Mark


Once I belonged to a group that really had THE WORD. I fought like hell for them. But another group came along and exposed the word of my group as shallow and degenerate. They had a better word. So I quit the first group and lost all the friends

Twain Mark


Prediction is very difficult, especially of the future.

Twain Mark


The adjective is the banana peel of the parts of speech.

Twain Mark


A committee takes root and grows, it flowers, wilts and dies, scattering the seed from which other committees will bloom.

Twain Mark


I think we're in trouble.

Twain Mark


To think contrary to one's era is heroism. But to speak against it is madness.

Twain Mark


Peace cannot be kept by force; it can only be achieved by understanding.

Twain Mark


Nothing, nothing, nothing, no error, no crime is so absolutely repugnant to God as everything which is official; and why? because the official is so impersonal and therefore the deepest insult which can be offered to a personality.

Twain Mark


"We're not talking about the same thing," he said. "For you the world is weird because if you're not bored with it you're at odds with it. For me the world is weird because it is stupendous, awesome, mysterious, unfathomable; my interest has been to

Twain Mark


Plastic... Aluminum... These are the inheritors of the Universe! Flesh and Blood have had their day... and that day is past!

Twain Mark


Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. My advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.

Twain Mark


A good name lost is seldom regained. When character is gone, all is gone, and one of the richest jewels of life is lost forever.

Twain Mark


Oh what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive.

Twain Mark


Rule the Empire through force.

Twain Mark


It has long been noticed that juries are pitiless for robbery and full of indulgence for infanticide. A question of interest, my dear Sir! The jury is afraid of being robbed and has passed the age when it could be a victim of infanticide.

Twain Mark


To generalize is to be an idiot.

Twain Mark


"What the hell are you getting so upset about? I thought you didn't believe in God." "I don't," she sobbed, bursting violently into tears, "but the God I don't believe in is a good God, a just God, a merciful God. He's not the mean and stupid Go

Twain Mark


My tears stuck in their little ducts, refusing to be jerked.

Twain Mark


No excellent soul is exempt from a mixture of madness.

Twain Mark


Princeton's taste is sweet like a strawberry tart. Harvard's is a subtle taste, like whiskey, coffee, or tobacco. It may even be a bad habit, for all I know.

Twain Mark


Whom the mad would destroy, first they make Gods.

Twain Mark


Many enraged psychiatrists are inciting a weary butcher. The butcher is weary and tired because he has cut meat and steak and lamb for hours and weeks. He does not desire to chant about anything with raving psychiatrists, but he sings about his gin

Twain Mark


All other things being equal, a bald man cannot be elected President of the United States.

Twain Mark


He who writes with no misspelled words has prevented a first suspicion on the limits of his scholarship or, in the social world, of his general education and culture.

Twain Mark


Writing about music is like dancing about architecture.

Twain Mark


Truth never comes into the world but like a bastard, to the ignominy of him that brought her birth.

Twain Mark


Alas, how love can trifle with itself!

Twain Mark


It has long been noticed that juries are pitiless for robbery and full of indulgence for infanticide. A question of interest, my dear Sir! The jury is afraid of being robbed and has passed the age when it could be a victim of infanticide.

Twain Mark


Neckties strangle clear thinking.

Twain Mark


Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose.

Twain Mark


Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do. Play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do.

Twain Mark


You see, I consider that a man's brain originally is like a little empty attic, and you have to stock it with such furniture as you choose. A fool takes in all the lumber of every sort he comes across, so that the knowledge which might be useful to

Twain Mark


I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.

Twain Mark


The danger is not that a particular class is unfit to govern. Every class is unfit to govern.

Twain Mark


"Rembrandt's first name was Beauregard, which is why he never used it."

Twain Mark


Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.

Twain Mark


A morgue is a morgue is a morgue. They can paint the walls with aggressively cheerful primary colors and splashy bold graphics, but it's still a holding place for the dead until they can be parted out to organ banks. Not that I would have cared nor

Twain Mark


A likely impossibility is always preferable to an unconvincing possibility.

Twain Mark


A Christian is a man who feels repentance on Sunday for what he did on Saturday and is going to do on Monday.

Twain Mark


All the taxes paid over a lifetime by the average American are spent by the government in less than a second.

Twain Mark


Theology is an attempt to explain a subject by men who do not understand it. The intent is not to tell the truth but to satisfy the questioner.

Twain Mark


Watch your mouth, kid, or you'll find yourself floating home.

Twain Mark


The best executive is one who has sense enough to pick good people to do what he wants done, and self-restraint enough to keep from meddling with them while they do it.

Twain Mark


Odets, where is thy sting?

Twain Mark


Some people say a front-engine car handles best. Some people say a rear-engine car handles best. I say a rented car handles best.

Twain Mark


In my end is my beginning.

Twain Mark


When properly administered, vacations do not diminish productivity: for every week you're away and get nothing done, there's another when your boss is away and you get twice as much done.

Twain Mark


This is an especially good time for you vacationers who plan to fly, because the Reagan administration, as part of the same policy under which it recently sold Yellowstone National Park to Wayne Newton, has "deregulated" the airline industry. What t

Twain Mark


Political history is far too criminal a subject to be a fit thing to teach children.

Twain Mark


None love the bearer of bad news.

Twain Mark


The fact that it works is immaterial.

Twain Mark


Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid.

Twain Mark


Don't get mad, get even.

Twain Mark


The executioner is, I hear, very expert, and my neck is very slender.

Twain Mark


Practice is the best of all instructors.

Twain Mark


I can hire one half of the working class to kill the other half.

Twain Mark


Depend on the rabbit's foot if you will, but remember, it didn't help the rabbit.

Twain Mark


The world is your exercise-book, the pages on which you do your sums. It is not reality, although you can express reality there if you wish. You are also free to write nonsense, or lies, or to tear the pages.

Twain Mark


Nothing recedes like success.

Twain Mark


Too often I find that the volume of paper expands to fill the available briefcases.

Twain Mark


Competitive fury is not always anger. It is the true missionary's courage and zeal in facing the possibility that one's best may not be enough.

Twain Mark


Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

Twain Mark


Immature poets imitate, mature poets steal.

Twain Mark


A definition of teaching: casting fake pearls before real swine.

Twain Mark


Please try to limit the amount of "this room doesn't have any bazingas" until you are told that those rooms are "punched out." Once punched out, we have a right to complain about atrocities, missing bazingas, and such.

Twain Mark


The universe is made of stories, not of atoms.

Twain Mark


Hotels are tired of getting ripped off. I checked into a hotel and they had towels from my house.

Twain Mark


The fashion wears out more apparel than the man.

Twain Mark


Practical politics consists in ignoring facts.

Twain Mark


"What's this? Trix? Aunt! Trix? You? You're after the prize! What is it?" He picked up the box and studied the back. "A glow-in-the-dark squid! Have you got it out of there yet?" He tilted the box, angling the little colored balls of cereal

Twain Mark


If the church put in half the time on covetousness that it does on lust, this would be a better world.

Twain Mark


I don't have any use for bodyguards, but I do have a specific use for two highly trained certified public accountants.

Tweed Boss


The world has many unintentionally cruel mechanisms that are not designed for people who walk on their hands.

Tyger Frank


He is now rising from affluence to poverty.

Tyroon Henry


If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that don't get wet you can keep.

Tzu Chuang


If I had a plantation in Georgia and a home in Hell, I'd sell the plantation and go home.

Tzu Chuang


A fool's brain digests philosophy into folly, science into superstition, and art into pedantry. Hence University education.

them! it only encourages


"Are you police officers?" "No, ma'am. We're musicians."

they' and he points an imaginary gun to this head and pulls the trigger. The old man goes home and his wife says "So aaaaaaaaaaaaaa





Random Quote


And I suppose the little things are harder to get used to than the big ones. The big ones you get used to, you make up your mind to them. The little things come along unexpectedly, when you aren't thinking about them, aren't braced against them.
Zimmer Marion Bradley

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