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A full belly makes a dull brain.

T.S. Eliot


Piece of cake!

Tacitus


Why be a man when you can be a success?

Tacitus


A man's house is his castle.

Talleyrand Charles-Maurice De


Two heads are better than one.

Tao Te Ching


There is much Obi-Wan did not tell you.

Tarkin Governor


Love the sea? I dote upon it

Tarkington Booth


He who laughs has not yet heard the bad news.

Tarsus Paul of


The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence.

Taylor Elizabeth


Well, he didn't know what to do, so he decided to look at the government, to see what they did, and scale it down and run his life that way.

Technology Aviation Week and Space


A light wife doth make a heavy husband.

Temple Shirley


A man who cannot seduce men cannot save them either.

Tennant Harry


God is really only another artist. He invented the giraffe, the elephant and the cat. He has no real style, He just goes on trying other things.

Terry Pratchett


A little inaccuracy sometimes saves tons of explanation.

Terry Pratchett


Every cloud engenders not a storm.

Texa J. Frank Dobie


Imagine what we can imagine!

Thatcher Margaret


Doctors and lawyers must go to school for years and years, often with little sleep and with great sacrifice to their first wives.

The Outer Limits


"You've got to have a gimmick if your band sucks."

The Squirrels


The more the merrier.

Theophrastus


When I first arrived in this country I had only fifteen cents in my pocket and a willingness to compromise.

Thomas Dylan


The surest protection against temptation is cowardice.

Thomas Dylan


I shot an arrow in to the air, and it stuck.

Thomas J. Parnell


Anything anybody can say about America is true.

Thomas Marlo


Marijuana will be legal some day, because the many law students who now smoke pot will someday become congressmen and legalize it in order to protect themselves.

Thomas Marlo


When you die, you lose a very important part of your life.

Thomas Norman


Even the clearest and most perfect circumstantial evidence is likely to be at fault, after all, and therefore ought to be received with great caution. Take the case of any pencil, sharpened by any woman; if you have witnesses, you will find she did

Thomas Carlyle


I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday and I love today.

Thomas Dave


Be regular and orderly in your life, so that you may be violent and original in your work.

Thomas De Quincey


There are three reasons for becoming a writer: the first is that you need the money; the second that you have something to say that you think the world should know; the third is that you can't think what to do with the long winter evenings.

Thomas De Quincey


Money doesn't talk, it swears.

Thomas De Quincey


Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.

Thomas Jefferson


During almost fifteen centuries the legal establishment of Christianity has been upon trial. What has been its fruits? More or less, in all places, pride and indolence in the clergy; ignorance and servility in the laity,; in both, superstition, bigo

Thomas King


When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.

Thomas Macaulay


I had another dream the other day about music critics. They were small and rodent-like with padlocked ears, as if they had stepped out of a painting by Goya.

Thomas W. Lamont


For courage mounteth with occasion.

Thompson Dr. Hunter S.


The problem with any unwritten law is that you don't know where to go to erase it.

Thompson Dr. Hunter S.


He who fears the unknown may one day flee from his own backside.

Thompson H.S.


There has been a little distress selling on the stock exchange.

Thompson Hunter S.


The typewriting machine, when played with expression, is no more annoying than the piano when played by a sister or near relation.

Thompson Hunter S.


As to Jesus of Nazareth... I think the system of Morals and his Religion, as he left them to us, the best the World ever saw or is likely to see; but I apprehend it has received various corrupting Changes, and I have, with most of the present Dissent

Thompson Ken


No excellent soul is exempt from a mixture of madness.

Thore Henry David


All is well that ends well.

Thoreau


Mankind is poised midway between the gods and the beasts.

Thoreau H.D.


Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time to reform.

Thoreau Henry David


There's nothing remarkable about it. All one has to do is hit the right keys at the right time and the instrument plays itself.

Thoreau Henry David


The proof of the pudding is in the eating.

Thoreau Henry David


Heaven and earth were created all together in the same instant, on October 23rd, 4004 B.C. at nine o'clock in the morning.

Thoreau Henry David


Save the Whales

Thoreau Henry David


Hell is empty and all the devils are here.

Thoreau Henry David


The Israelis are the Doberman pinschers of the Middle East. They treat the Arabs like postmen.

Thoreau Henry David


Some people say a front-engine car handles best. Some people say a rear-engine car handles best. I say a rented car handles best.

Thoreau Henry David


Once, I read that a man be never stronger than when he truly realizes how weak he is.

Thoreau David Henry


Every man thinks God is on his side. The rich and powerful know that he is.

Thurber James


Well, he thought, since neither Aristotelian Logic nor the disciplines of Science seemed to offer much hope, it's time to go beyond them... Drawing a few deep even breaths, he entered a mental state practiced only by Masters of the Universal Way of

Thurber James


There is a limit to the admiration we may hold for a man who spends his waking hours poking the contents of chickens with a stick.

Thurber James


"God gives burdens; also shoulders" Jimmy Carter cited this Jewish saying in his concession speech at the end of the 1980 election. At least he said it was a Jewish saying; I can't find it anywhere. I'm sure he's telling the truth though; why wo

Thurber James


A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.

Ti Chuck Shepherd


"I'd like to start a new religion. One that doesn't use a dead young man as its logo."

Tikkanen Henrik


We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart.

Tiselius Arne


Acting is not very hard. The most important things are to be able to laugh and cry. If I have to cry, I think of my sex life. And if I have to laugh, well, I think of my sex life.

Titus Livius


Would ye both eat your cake and have your cake?

Tobaben


Likewise, the national appetizer, brine-cured herring with raw onions, wins few friends, Germans excepted.

Tocqueville Alexis de


Always the dullness of the fool is the whetstone of the wits.

Todd Ruthven Campbell


If there were a school for, say, sheet metal workers, that after three years left its graduates as unprepared for their careers as does law school, it would be closed down in a minute, and no doubt by lawyers.

Tokugawa Shogun


In the begining, God created the Earth and he said, "Let there be mud." And there was mud. And God said, "Let Us make living creatures out of mud, so the mud can see what we have done." And God created every living creature that now moveth, and

Tolkien J. R. R.


We are governed not by armies and police but by ideas.

Tolkien J. R. R.


What excuses stand in your way? How can you eliminate them?

Tolkien J. R. R.


If at first you don't succeed, you're doing about average.

Tolkien J. R. R.


Learning French is trivial: the word for horse is cheval, and everything else follows in the same way.

Tolkien J.R.R.


Honesty's the best policy.

Tolkien J.R.R.


"Do you think there's a God?" "Well, ____SOMEbody's out to get me!"

Tolkien J.R.R.


Television has proved that people will look at anything rather than each other.

Tolkien J.R.R.


One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.

Tolstoy


If a jury in a criminal trial stays out for more than twenty-four hours, it is certain to vote acquittal, save in those instances where it votes guilty.

Tolstoy


The real purpose of books is to trap the mind into doing its own thinking.

Tolstoy


After his Ignoble Disgrace, Satan was being expelled from Heaven. As he passed through the Gates, he paused a moment in thought, and turned to God and said, "A new creature called Man, I hear, is soon to be created." "This is true," He replied.

Tolstoy


Great acts are made up of small deeds.

Tolstoy Leo


A good reputation is more valuable than money.

Tomash Erwin


Getting into trouble is easy.

Tomlin Lily


I never cheated an honest man, only rascals. They wanted something for nothing. I gave them nothing for something.

Tomlin Lily


The intelligence of any discussion diminishes with the square of the number of participants.

Tomlin Lily


God was satisfied with his own work, and that is fatal.

Tomlin Lily


"That's no answer," Job said, "And for someone who's supposed to be omnipotent, let me tell you 'tabernacle' has only one l."

Tomlin Lily


The greatest productive force is human selfishness.

Tomlin Lily


Somehow I reached excess without ever noticing when I was passing through satisfaction.

Tomlin Lily


I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.

Tourbillon


We Americans, we're a simple people... but piss us off, and we'll bomb your cities.

Toynbee Arnold Joseph


Women of genius commonly have masculine faces, figures and manners. In transplanting brains to an alien soil God leaves a little of the original earth clinging to the roots.

Tr Leon


It's all right letting yourself go as long as you can let yourself back.

Trend Motor


Let's say your wedding ring falls into your toaster, and when you stick your hand in to retrieve it, you suffer Pain and Suffering as well as Mental Anguish. You would sue: * The toaster manufacturer, for failure to include, in the instructions

Trend Motor


Where it is a duty to worship the sun it is pretty sure to be a crime to examine the laws of heat.

Trend Motor


"Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company."

Trillin Calvin


If it doesn't smell yet, it's pretty fresh.

Trilling Lionel


A man is known by the company he organizes.

Trotsky


Advertising is a valuable economic factor because it is the cheapest way of selling goods, particularly if the goods are worthless.

Trudeau P.E.


One of my less pleasant chores when I was young was to read the Bible from one end to the other. Reading the Bible straight through is at least 70 percent discipline, like learning Latin. But the good parts are, of course, simply amazing. God is a

Truman Harry


For fools rush in where angels fear to tread.

Truman Harry


Sho' they got to have it against the law. Shoot, ever'body git high, they wouldn't be nobody git up and feed the chickens. Hee-hee.

Truman Harry S.


Practical people would be more practical if they would take a little more time for dreaming.

Truman Harry S.


The whole world is a scab. The point is to pick it constructively.

Truman Harry S.


The means-and-ends moralists, or non-doers, always end up on their ends without any means.

Truman Harry S.


He was a fiddler, and consequently a rogue.

Truman President Harry S.


The faster I go, the behinder I get.

Tsu Lao


A woman who is unfaithful deserves to be shot.

Tsu Lao


The course of true anything never does run smooth.

Tsu Lao


The lunatic, the lover, and the poet, Are of imagination all compact...

Tsu Lao


It is only the man whose intellect is clouded by his sexual impulse that could give the name of the fair sex to that undersized, narrow-shouldered, broad-hipped, and short-legged race.

Tsu Lao


The only thing that experience teaches us is that experience teaches us nothing.

Tsu Lao


Flame on!

Tsu Lao


XXI: It's easy to get a loan unless you need it. XXII: If stock market experts were so expert, they would be buying stock, not selling advice. XXIII: Any task can be completed in only one-third more time than is currently estimated. XXIV:

Tsu Lao


Plus ,ca change, plus c'est la m^eme chose. [The more things change, the more they remain the same.]

Tsu Lao


Some scholars are like donkeys, they merely carry a lot of books.

Tsu Lao


Judges, as a class, display, in the matter of arranging alimony, that reckless generosity which is found only in men who are giving away someone else's cash.

Tsu Lao


Texas is Hell on woman and horses.

Tsu Lao


Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.

Tsu Lao


An ounce of mother is worth a ton of priest.

Tsu Lao


Pereant, inquit, qui ante nos nostra dixerunt. [Confound those who have said our remarks before us.] or [May they perish who have expressed our bright ideas before us.]

Tuc The mayor of


Skill without imagination is craftsmanship and gives us many useful objects such as wickerwork picnic baskets. Imagination without skill gives us modern art.

Turgenev


"You have been in Afghanistan, I perceive."

Turner Ted


My tears stuck in their little ducts, refusing to be jerked.

Turner Ted


TV is chewing gum for the eyes.

Tusser Thomas


Ninety percent of the time things turn out worse than you thought they would. The other ten percent of the time you had no right to expect that much.

Tusser Thomas


Talking about music is like dancing about architecture.

Twain Mark


When alerted to an intrusion by tinkling glass or otherwise, 1) Calm yourself 2) Identify the intruder 3) If hostile, kill him. Step number 3 is of particular importance. If you leave the guy alive out of misguided softheartedness, he will repay y

Twain Mark


In the plot, people came to the land; the land loved them; they worked and struggled and had lots of children. There was a Frenchman who talked funny and a greenhorn from England who was a fancy-pants but when it came to the crunch he was all courag

Twain Mark


Nice guys finish last.

Twain Mark


What we cannot speak about we must pass over in silence.

Twain Mark


Aim for the moon. If you miss, you may hit a star.

Twain Mark


I paid a visit to my local precinct in Greenwich Village and asked a sergeant to show me some rape statistics. He politely obliged. That month there had been thirty-five rape complaints, an advance of ten over the same month for the previous year.

Twain Mark


The English instinctively admire any man who has no talent and is modest about it.

Twain Mark


The race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, but that's the way to bet.

Twain Mark


Even if you do learn to speak correct English, whom are you going to speak it to?

Twain Mark


The absurd is the essential concept and the first truth.

Twain Mark


I think we're in trouble.

Twain Mark


I went into a bar feeling a little depressed, the bartender said, "What'll you have, Bud"? I said," I don't know, surprise me". So he showed me a nude picture of my wife.

Twain Mark


You see, I consider that a man's brain originally is like a little empty attic, and you have to stock it with such furniture as you choose. A fool takes in all the lumber of every sort he comes across, so that the knowledge which might be useful to

Twain Mark


Maryel brought her bat into Exit once and started whacking people on the dance floor. Now everyone's doing it. It's called grand slam dancing.

Twain Mark


With Congress, every time they make a joke it's a law; and every time they make a law it's a joke.

Twain Mark


"I don't mind going nowhere as long as it's an interesting path."

Twain Mark


Sometimes a man who deserves to be looked down upon because he is a fool is despised only because he is a lawyer.

Twain Mark


Monterey... is decidedly the pleasantest and most civilized-looking place in California ... [it] is also a great place for cock-fighting, gambling of all sorts, fandangos, and various kinds of amusements and knavery.

Twain Mark


Any road followed to its end leads precisely nowhere. Climb the mountain just a little to test it's a mountain. From the top of the mountain, you cannot see the mountain.

Twain Mark


All Gods were immortal.

Twain Mark


Take care of the luxuries and the necessities will take care of themselves.

Twain Mark


There is a natural hootchy-kootchy to a goldfish.

Twain Mark


It is so stupid of modern civilisation to have given up believing in the devil when he is the only explanation of it.

Twain Mark


But if you wish at once to do nothing and to be respectable nowdays, the best pretext is to be at work on some profound study.

Twain Mark


Someone did a study of the three most-often-heard phrases in New York City. One is "Hey, taxi." Two is, "What train do I take to get to Bloomingdale's?" And three is, "Don't worry. It's just a flesh wound."

Twain Mark


He who knows, does not speak. He who speaks, does not know.

Twain Mark


The past always looks better than it was. It's only pleasant because it isn't here.

Twain Mark


A committee is a group that keeps the minutes and loses hours.

Twain Mark


There are two ways of disliking poetry; one way is to dislike it, the other is to read Pope.

Twain Mark


The sooner you make your first 5000 mistakes, the sooner you will be able to correct them.

Twain Mark


There's such a thing as too much point on a pencil.

Twain Mark


Eggheads unite! You have nothing to lose but your yolks.

Twain Mark


Life is too short to be taken seriously.

Twain Mark


There is a secret person undamaged within every individual.

Twain Mark


"What's this? Trix? Aunt! Trix? You? You're after the prize! What is it?" He picked up the box and studied the back. "A glow-in-the-dark squid! Have you got it out of there yet?" He tilted the box, angling the little colored balls of cereal

Twain Mark


We rarely find anyone who can say he has lived a happy life, and who, content with his life, can retire from the world like a satisfied guest.

Twain Mark


How apt the poor are to be proud.

Twain Mark


You can bring men from other parts of the world who are sane. And you know what happens? At the very moment they cross those mountains... they go mad. Instantaneously and automatically, at the very moment they cross the mountains into California,

Twain Mark


"Spare no expense to save money on this one."

Twain Mark


There is always something new out of Africa.

Twain Mark


You can tell the ideals of a nation by its advertisements.

Twain Mark


Rembrandt is not to be compared in the painting of character with our extraordinarily gifted English artist, Mr. Rippingille.

Twain Mark


This is the sort of English up with which I will not put.

Twain Mark


I am a man: nothing human is alien to me.

Twain Mark


One man's brain plus one other will produce one half as many ideas as one man would have produced alone. These two plus two more will produce half again as many ideas. These four plus four more begin to represent a creative meeting, and the ratio c

Twain Mark


Every why hath a wherefore.

Twain Mark


"To YOU I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition."

Twain Mark


What sane person could live in this world and not be crazy?

Twain Mark


Treat your friend as if he might become an enemy.

Twain Mark


Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.

Twain Mark


There's nothing worse for your business than extra Santa Clauses smoking in the men's room.

Twain Mark


"I only touch base with reality on an as-needed basis!"

Twain Mark


Executive ability is deciding quickly and getting somebody else to do the work.

Twain Mark


If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything.

Twain Mark


Rebellion lay in his way, and he found it.

Twain Mark


If the path be beautiful, let us not ask where it leads.

Twain Mark


Sometimes even to live is an act of courage.

Twain Mark


There is no fool to the old fool.

Twain Mark


"I understand this is your first dead client," Sabian was saying. The absurdity of the statement made me want to laugh but they don't call me Deadpan Allie and lie.

Twain Mark


Several years ago, some smart businessmen had an idea: Why not build a big store where a do-it-yourselfer could get everything he needed at reasonable prices? Then they decided, nah, the hell with that, let's build a home center. And before long ho

Twain Mark


Welcome to Lake Wobegon, where all the men are strong, the women are pretty, and the children are above-average.

Twain Mark


By working faithfully eight hours a day, you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve.

Twain Mark


It is by the fortune of God that, in this country, we have three benefits: freedom of speech, freedom of thought, and the wisdom never to use either.

Twain Mark


The average Ph.D thesis is nothing but the transference of bones from one graveyard to another.

Twain Mark


I think we are in Rats' Alley where the dead men lost their bones.

Twain Mark


Let us endeavor so to live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.

Twain Mark


Were there no women, men might live like gods.

Twain Mark


History is nothing but a collection of fables and useless trifles, cluttered up with a mass of unnecessary figures and proper names.

Twain Mark


Historians have now definitely established that Juan Cabrillo, discoverer of California, was not looking for Kansas, thus setting a precedent that continues to this day.

Twain Mark


[Maturity consists in the discovery that] there comes a critical moment where everything is reversed, after which the point becomes to understand more and more that there is something which cannot be understood.

Twain Mark


Si jeunesse savait, si vieillesse pouvait. [If youth but knew, if old age but could.]

Twain Mark


NEW YORK

Twain Mark


Think sideways!

Twain Mark


Good government never depends upon laws, but upon the personal qualities of those who govern. The machinery of government is always subordinate to the will of those who administer that machinery. The most important element of government, therefore,

Twain Mark


What one fool can do, another can.

Twain Mark


If a fool persists in his folly he shall become wise.

Twain Mark


Writing about music is like dancing about architecture.

Twain Mark


I wish there was a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence. There's a knob called "brightness", but it doesn't seem to work.

Twain Mark


Coincidences are spiritual puns.

Twain Mark


Let others praise ancient times; I am glad I was born in these.

Twain Mark


Beware of all enterprises that require new clothes, and not rather a new wearer of clothes.

Twain Mark


The [Ford Foundation] is a large body of money completely surrounded by people who want some.

Twain Mark


Don't everyone thank me at once!

Tweed Boss


If the colleges were better, if they really had it, you would need to get the police at the gates to keep order in the inrushing multitude. See in college how we thwart the natural love of learning by leaving the natural method of teaching what each

Tyger Frank


What does education often do? It makes a straight cut ditch of a free meandering brook.

Tyroon Henry


Consider the postage stamp: its usefulness consists in the ability to stick to one thing till it gets there.

Tzu Chuang


In charity there is no excess.

Tzu Chuang


[District Attorneys] learn in District Attorney School that there are two sure-fire ways to get a lot of favorable publicity: (1) Go down and raid all the lockers in the local high school and confiscate 53 marijuana cigarettes and put them in a

them! it only encourages


Misery no longer loves company. Nowadays it insists on it.

they' and he points an imaginary gun to this head and pulls the trigger. The old man goes home and his wife says "So aaaaaaaaaaaaaa





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He is a man capable of turning any colour into grey.
John LeCarre

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