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A society in which women are taught anything but the management of a family, the care of men, and the creation of the future generation is a society which is on its way out.

T.S. Eliot


A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds.

Tacitus


We prefer to believe that the absence of inverted commas guarantees the originality of a thought, whereas it may be merely that the utterer has forgotten its source.

Tacitus


Thank God I've always avoided persecuting my enemies.

Talleyrand Charles-Maurice De


I went into a bar feeling a little depressed, the bartender said, "What'll you have, Bud"? I said," I don't know, surprise me". So he showed me a nude picture of my wife.

Tao Te Ching


The past always looks better than it was. It's only pleasant because it isn't here.

Tarkin Governor


A political man can have as his aim the realization of freedom, but he has no means to realize it other than through violence.

Tarkington Booth


Luke, I'm yer father, eh. Come over to the dark side, you hoser.

Tarsus Paul of


I hate mankind, for I think myself one of the best of them, and I know how bad I am.

Taylor Elizabeth


If the English language made any sense, lackadaisical would have something to do with a shortage of flowers.

Technology Aviation Week and Space


I do not know where to find in any literature, whether ancient or modern, any adequate account of that nature with which I am acquainted. Mythology comes nearest to it of any.

Temple Shirley


"If a camel flies, no one laughs if it doesn't get very far."

Tennant Harry


The cable TV sex channels don't expand our horizons, don't make us better people, and don't come in clearly enough.

Terry Pratchett


Some scholars are like donkeys, they merely carry a lot of books.

Terry Pratchett


It is always the best policy to tell the truth, unless, of course, you are an exceptionally good liar.

Texa J. Frank Dobie


My own business always bores me to death; I prefer other people's.

Thatcher Margaret


One man's Mede is another man's Persian.

The Outer Limits


In charity there is no excess.

The Squirrels


We should be glad we're living in the time that we are. If any of us had been born into a more enlightened age, I'm sure we would have immediately been taken out and shot.

Theophrastus


Three minutes' thought would suffice to find this out; but thought is irksome and three minutes is a long time.

Thomas Dylan


Somewhat alarmed at the continued growth of the number of employees on the Department of Agriculture payroll in 1962, Michigan Republican Robert Griffin proposed an amendment to the farm bill so that "the total number of employees in the Department

Thomas Dylan


Keep cool, but don't freeze.

Thomas J. Parnell


Well, you know, no matter where you go, there you are.

Thomas Marlo


We have lingered long enough on the shores of the Cosmic Ocean.

Thomas Marlo


The degree of civilization in a society can be judged by entering its prisons.

Thomas Norman


Force has no place where there is need of skill.

Thomas Carlyle


Yet creeds mean very little, Coth answered the dark god, still speaking almost gently. The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this is true.

Thomas Dave


He hath eaten me out of house and home.

Thomas De Quincey


Women of genius commonly have masculine faces, figures and manners. In transplanting brains to an alien soil God leaves a little of the original earth clinging to the roots.

Thomas De Quincey


All of us should treasure his Oriental wisdom and his preaching of a Zen-like detachment, as exemplified by his constant reminder to clerks, tellers, or others who grew excited by his presence in their banks: "Just lie down on the floor and keep calm

Thomas De Quincey


Life is a series of rude awakenings.

Thomas Jefferson


XLI: The more one produces, the less one gets. XLII: Simple systems are not feasible because they require infinite testing. XLIII: Hardware works best when it matters the least. XLIV: Aircraft flight in the 21st century will always be in a we

Thomas King


I heard a definition of an intellectual, that I thought was very interesting: a man who takes more words than are necessary to tell more than he knows.

Thomas Macaulay


Must I hold a candle to my shames?

Thomas W. Lamont


Going into politics is as fatal to a gentleman as going into a bordello is fatal to a virgin.

Thompson Dr. Hunter S.


"Every morning, I get up and look through the 'Forbes' list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work"

Thompson Dr. Hunter S.


Several years ago, some smart businessmen had an idea: Why not build a big store where a do-it-yourselfer could get everything he needed at reasonable prices? Then they decided, nah, the hell with that, let's build a home center. And before long ho

Thompson H.S.


France is a country where the money falls apart and you can't tear the toilet paper.

Thompson Hunter S.


Put a rogue in the limelight and he will act like an honest man.

Thompson Hunter S.


If at first you don't succeed, you're doing about average.

Thompson Ken


The scum also rises.

Thore Henry David


Time goes, you say? Ah no! Time stays, *we* go.

Thoreau


Sometimes a man who deserves to be looked down upon because he is a fool is despised only because he is a lawyer.

Thoreau H.D.


From a certain point onward there is no longer any turning back. That is the point that must be reached.

Thoreau Henry David


By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity. Another man's, I mean.

Thoreau Henry David


War is like love, it always finds a way.

Thoreau Henry David


Eggheads unite! You have nothing to lose but your yolks.

Thoreau Henry David


God is Dead.

Thoreau Henry David


People love high ideals, but they got to be about 33-percent plausible.

Thoreau Henry David


were found to be wearing neckwear that was tighter than their neck circumference. The visual discrimination of the 22 subjects was evaluated using a critical flicker frequency (CFF) test. Results of the CFF test indicated that tight neckwear signifi

Thoreau Henry David


If you cannot convince them, confuse them.

Thoreau Henry David


If you are shooting under 80 you are neglecting your business; over 80 you are neglecting your golf.

Thoreau David Henry


"There was an interesting development in the CBS-Westmoreland trial: both sides agreed that after the trial, Andy Rooney would be allowed to talk to the jury for three minutes about little things that annoyed him during the trial."

Thurber James


Christianity has not been tried and found wanting; it has been found difficult and not tried.

Thurber James


Porsche: there simply is no substitute.

Thurber James


Even God cannot change the past.

Thurber James


It is a sobering thought that when Mozart was my age, he had been dead for two years.

Ti Chuck Shepherd


The average, healthy, well-adjusted adult gets up at seven-thirty in the morning feeling just terrible.

Tikkanen Henrik


The older I grow, the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom.

Tiselius Arne


Make no little plans; they have no magic to stir men's blood.

Titus Livius


There is nothing wrong with Southern California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn't cure.

Tobaben


God is really only another artist. He invented the giraffe, the elephant and the cat. He has no real style, He just goes on trying other things.

Tocqueville Alexis de


Life is like a sewer. What you get out of it depends on what you put into it.

Todd Ruthven Campbell


He who writes with no misspelled words has prevented a first suspicion on the limits of his scholarship or, in the social world, of his general education and culture.

Tokugawa Shogun


There is no fool to the old fool.

Tolkien J. R. R.


Interesting poll results reported in today's New York Post: people on the street in midtown Manhattan were asked whether they approved of the US invasion of Grenada. Fifty-three percent said yes; 39 percent said no; and 8 percent said "Gimme a quart

Tolkien J. R. R.


I owe the public nothing.

Tolkien J. R. R.


There may be said to be two classes of people in the world; those who constantly divide the people of the world into two classes and those who do not.

Tolkien J. R. R.


The bone-chilling scream split the warm summer night in two, the first half being before the scream when it was fairly balmy and calm and pleasant, the second half still balmy and quite pleasant for those who hadn't heard the scream at all, but not c

Tolkien J.R.R.


In dwelling, be close to the land. In meditation, delve deep into the heart. In dealing with others, be gentle and kind. In speech, be true. In work, be competent. In action, be careful of your timing.

Tolkien J.R.R.


Dear Ann Landers: My husband watches the TV preachers every Sunday. He claims one minister said there are 350 different sins. My husband wants to know if you can get the list. He thinks he is missing something.

Tolkien J.R.R.


Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.

Tolkien J.R.R.


I have discovered that all human evil comes from this, man's being unable to sit still in a room.

Tolstoy


Nobody ever forgets where he buried the hatchet.

Tolstoy


We may not be able to persuade Hindus that Jesus and not Vishnu should govern their spiritual horizon, nor Moslems that Lord Buddha is at the center of their spiritual universe, nor Hebrews that Mohammed is a major prohpet, nor Christians that Shinto

Tolstoy


I have nothing but utter contempt for the courts of this land.

Tolstoy


Politics and the fate of mankind are formed by men without ideals and without greatness. Those who have greatness within them do not go in for politics.

Tolstoy Leo


Another possible source of guidance for teenagers is television, but television's message has always been that the need for truth, wisdom and world peace pales by comparison with the need for a toothpaste that offers whiter teeth *___and* fresher

Tomash Erwin


Many a bum show has been saved by the flag.

Tomlin Lily


There are no great men, buster. There are only men.

Tomlin Lily


Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead.

Tomlin Lily


Producers seem to be so prejudiced against actors who've had no training. And there's no reason for it. So what if I didn't attend the Royal Academy for twelve years? I'm still a professional trying to be the best actress I can. Why doesn't anyone

Tomlin Lily


I've touch'd the highest point of all my greatness; And from that full meridian of my glory I haste now to my setting. I shall fall, Like a bright exhalation in the evening And no man see me more.

Tomlin Lily


The goys have proven the following theorem...

Tomlin Lily


Then there's the story of the man who avoided reality for 70 years with drugs, sex, alcohol, fantasy, TV, movies, records, a hobby, lots of sleep... And on his 80th birthday died without ever having faced any of his real problems. The man's young

Tomlin Lily


I owe the government $3400 in taxes. So I sent them two hammers and a toilet seat.

Tourbillon


We're only in it for the volume.

Toynbee Arnold Joseph


The problem with me is that I am fifty or one hundred years ahead of my time. My speed is very fast. Some ministers have had to drop out of my government because they could not keep up.

Tr Leon


Naturally the common people don't want war... but after all it is the leaders of a country who determine the policy, and it is always a simple matter to drag the people along, whether it is a democracy, or a fascist dictatorship, or a parliament, or

Trend Motor


There are two kinds of fool. One says, "This is old, and therefore good." And one says, "This is new, and therefore better"

Trend Motor


With Congress, every time they make a joke it's a law; and every time they make a law it's a joke.

Trend Motor


Murray and Esther, a middle-aged Jewish couple, are touring Chile. Murray just got a new camera and is constantly snapping pictures. One day, without knowing it, he photographs a top-secret military installation. In an instant, armed troops surroun

Trillin Calvin


I don't have any solution but I certainly admire the problem.

Trilling Lionel


If the church put in half the time on covetousness that it does on lust, this would be a better world.

Trotsky


The `loner' may be respected, but he is always resented by his colleagues, for he seems to be passing a critical judgment on them, when he may be simply making a limiting statement about himself.

Trudeau P.E.


Never look a gift horse in the mouth.

Truman Harry


It is easier to be a "humanitarian" than to render your own country its proper due; it is easier to be a "patriot" than to make your community a better place to live in; it is easier to be a "civic leader" than to treat your own family with loving un

Truman Harry


A lot of people I know believe in positive thinking, and so do I. I believe everything positively stinks.

Truman Harry S.


There's nothing to writing. All you do is sit at a typewriter and open a vein.

Truman Harry S.


When I saw a sign on the freeway that said, "Los Angeles 445 miles," I said to myself, "I've got to get out of this lane."

Truman Harry S.


It's better to be wanted for murder that not to be wanted at all.

Truman Harry S.


"If once a man indulges himself in murder, very soon he comes to think little of robbing; and from robbing he next comes to drinking and Sabbath-breaking, and from that to incivility and procrastination."

Truman President Harry S.


Gratitude and treachery are merely the two extremities of the same procession. You have seen all of it that is worth staying for when the band and the gaudy officials have gone by.

Tsu Lao


It is said an Eastern monarch once charged his wise men to invent him a sentence to be ever in view, and which should be true and appropriate in all times and situations. They presented him the words: "And this, too, shall pass away."

Tsu Lao


Honesty's the best policy.

Tsu Lao


Mother is far too clever to understand anything she does not like.

Tsu Lao


The use of money is all the advantage there is to having money.

Tsu Lao


Tallulah Bankhead barged down the Nile last night as Cleopatra and sank.

Tsu Lao


A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step.

Tsu Lao


Whatever you may be sure of, be sure of this: that you are dreadfully like other people.

Tsu Lao


Something's rotten in the state of Denmark.

Tsu Lao


I'm not a lovable man.

Tsu Lao


Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing at the moment.

Tsu Lao


Depend on the rabbit's foot if you will, but remember, it didn't help the rabbit.

Tsu Lao


If built in great numbers, motels will be used for nothing but illegal purposes.

Tsu Lao


Good government never depends upon laws, but upon the personal qualities of those who govern. The machinery of government is always subordinate to the will of those who administer that machinery. The most important element of government, therefore,

Tsu Lao


It is better to live rich than to die rich.

Tuc The mayor of


Another day, another dollar.

Turgenev


The knowledge that makes us cherish innocence makes innocence unattainable.

Turner Ted


Men ought to know that from the brain and from the brain only arise our pleasures, joys, laughter, and jests as well as our sorrows, pains, griefs and tears. ... It is the same thing which makes us mad or delirious, inspires us with dread and fear,

Turner Ted


I was part of that strange race of people aptly described as spending their lives doing things they detest to make money they don't want to buy things they don't need to impress people they dislike.

Tusser Thomas


Remark of Dr. Baldwin's concerning upstarts: We don't care to eat toadstools that think they are truffles.

Tusser Thomas


It has been said that man is a rational animal. All my life I have been searching for evidence which could support this.

Twain Mark


There is a good deal of solemn cant about the common interests of capital and labour. As matters stand, their only common interest is that of cutting each other's throat.

Twain Mark


It's hard to drive at the limit, but it's harder to know where the limits are.

Twain Mark


The full potentialities of human fury cannot be reached until a friend of both parties tactfully interferes.

Twain Mark


It has been observed that one's nose is never so happy as when it is thrust into the affairs of another, from which some physiologists have drawn the inference that the nose is devoid of the sense of smell.

Twain Mark


[The members of the Chamberlain government] are decided only to be undecided, resolved to be irresolute, adamant for drift, all-powerful for impotency.

Twain Mark


I would have promised those terrorists a trip to Disneyland if it would have gotten the hostages released. I thank God they were satisfied with the missiles and we didn't have to go to that extreme.

Twain Mark


There must be more to life than having everything.

Twain Mark


When eating an elephant take one bite at a time.

Twain Mark


It pays in England to be a revolutionary and a bible-smacker most of one's life and then come round.

Twain Mark


Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women it is merely a good excuse not to play football.

Twain Mark


A team effort is a lot of people doing what I say.

Twain Mark


Veni, vidi, vici. [I came, I saw, I conquered].

Twain Mark


The ultimate game show will be the one where somebody gets killed at the end.

Twain Mark


When one burns one's bridges, what a very nice fire it makes.

Twain Mark


Bingo, gas station, hamburger with a side order of airplane noise, and you'll be Gary, Indiana.

Twain Mark


The broad mass of a nation... will more easily fall victim to a big lie than to a small one.

Twain Mark


You never gain something but that you lose something.

Twain Mark


If a man has talent and cannot use it, he has failed.

Twain Mark


Giving money and power to governments is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.

Twain Mark


The adjective is the banana peel of the parts of speech.

Twain Mark


Optimism is the content of small men in high places.

Twain Mark


Talking much about oneself can also be a means to conceal oneself.

Twain Mark


The streets are safe in Philadelphia, it's only the people who make them unsafe.

Twain Mark


One picture is worth more than ten thousand words.

Twain Mark


A diplomat is a person who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

Twain Mark


It is only the man whose intellect is clouded by his sexual impulse that could give the name of the fair sex to that undersized, narrow-shouldered, broad-hipped, and short-legged race.

Twain Mark


Imitation is the sincerest form of television.

Twain Mark


I'd be a poorer man if I'd never seen an eagle fly.

Twain Mark


Nothing will ever be attempted if all possible objections must be first overcome.

Twain Mark


The sky is blue so we know where to stop mowing.

Twain Mark


After all, all he did was string together a lot of old, well-known quotations.

Twain Mark


Twain Mark


You mentioned your name as if I should recognize it, but beyond the obvious facts that you are a bachelor, a solicitor, a freemason, and an asthmatic, I know nothing whatever about you.

Twain Mark


Anything is possible on paper.

Twain Mark


This wasn't just plain terrible, this was fancy terrible. This was terrible with raisins in it.

Twain Mark


The truth of a thing is the feel of it, not the think of it.

Twain Mark


The fact that Hitler was a political genius unmasks the nature of politics in general as no other can.

Twain Mark


question = ( to ) ? be : ! be;

Twain Mark


Never face facts; if you do you'll never get up in the morning.

Twain Mark


I would like the government to do all it can to mitigate, then, in understanding, in mutuality of interest, in concern for the common good, our tasks will be solved.

Twain Mark


I just asked myself... what would John DeLorean do?

Twain Mark


Silence is the element in which great things fashion themselves.

Twain Mark


Mundus vult decipi decipiatur ergo.

Twain Mark


"MacDonald has the gift on compressing the largest amount of words into the smallest amount of thoughts."

Twain Mark


I will make you shorter by the head.

Twain Mark


An honest tale speeds best being plainly told.

Twain Mark


Law enforcement officers should use only the minimum force necessary in dealing with disorders when they arise.

Twain Mark


He didn't run for reelection. "Politics brings you into contact with all the people you'd give anything to avoid," he said. "I'm staying home."

Twain Mark


My own life has been spent chronicling the rise and fall of human systems, and I am convinced that we are terribly vulnerable. ... We should be reluctant to turn back upon the frontier of this epoch. Space is indifferent to what we do; it has no fe

Twain Mark


All kings is mostly rapscallions.

Twain Mark


No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.

Twain Mark


No man's ambition has a right to stand in the way of performing a simple act of justice.

Twain Mark


The possession of a book becomes a substitute for reading it.

Twain Mark


No one knows what he can do till he tries.

Twain Mark


With all the talent around, it's sort of amazing that a woman could be up here with us.

Twain Mark


Corrupt, stupid grasping functionaries will make at least as big a muddle of socialism as stupid, selfish and acquisitive employers can make of capitalism.

Twain Mark


Turn the other cheek.

Twain Mark


Why are you doing this to me? Because knowledge is torture, and there must be awareness before there is change.

Twain Mark


Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.

Twain Mark


The idea there was that consumers would bring their broken electronic devices, such as television sets and VCR's, to the destruction centers, where trained personnel would whack them (the devices) with sledgehammers. With their devices thus permanent

Twain Mark


You may be sure that when a man begins to call himself a "realist," he is preparing to do something he is secretly ashamed of doing.

Twain Mark


The early bird who catches the worm works for someone who comes in late and owns the worm farm.

Twain Mark


If what they've been doing hasn't solved the problem, tell them to do something else.

Twain Mark


Somehow I reached excess without ever noticing when I was passing through satisfaction.

Twain Mark


For some reason a glaze passes over people's faces when you say "Canada". Maybe we should invade South Dakota or something.

Twain Mark


Who's scruffy-looking?

Twain Mark


When the speaker and he to whom he is speaks do not understand, that is metaphysics.

Twain Mark


Indomitable in retreat; invincible in advance; insufferable in victory.

Twain Mark


Capitalism is the extraordinary belief that the nastiest of men, for the nastiest of reasons, will somehow work for the benefit of us all.

Twain Mark


It is one thing to praise discipline, and another to submit to it.

Twain Mark


"A Mormon is a man that has the bad taste and the religion to do what a good many other people are restrained from doing by conscientious scruples and the police."

Twain Mark


Dying is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down.

Twain Mark


If we spoke a different language, we would perceive a somewhat different world.

Twain Mark


We're fantastically incredibly sorry for all these extremely unreasonable things we did. I can only plead that my simple, barely-sentient friend and myself are underprivileged, deprived and also college students.

Twain Mark


The ratio of literacy to illiteracy is a constant, but nowadays the illiterates can read.

Twain Mark


If you keep your mind sufficiently open, people will throw a lot of rubbish into it.

Twain Mark


There are three rules for writing a novel. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are.

Twain Mark


Honesty is for the most part less profitable than dishonesty.

Twain Mark


It is impossible to enjoy idling thoroughly unless one has plenty of work to do.

Twain Mark


The horizon of many people is a circle with a radius of zero. They call this their point of view.

Twain Mark


If you know the answer to a question, don't ask.

Twain Mark


"There was an interesting development in the CBS-Westmoreland trial: both sides agreed that after the trial, Andy Rooney would be allowed to talk to the jury for three minutes about little things that annoyed him during the trial."

Twain Mark


'Naomi, sex at noon taxes.' I moan. Never odd or even. A man, a plan, a canal, Panama. Madam, I'm Adam. Sit on a potato pan, Otis. Sit on Otis.

Tweed Boss


I have had my television aerials removed. It's the moral equivalent of a prostate operation.

Tyger Frank


You can't expect a boy to be vicious till he's been to a good school.

Tyroon Henry


If Beethoven's Seventh Symphony is not by some means abridged, it will soon fall into disuse.

Tzu Chuang


He has not acquired a fortune; the fortune has acquired him.

Tzu Chuang


Immature artists imitate, mature artists steal.

them! it only encourages


Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel.

they' and he points an imaginary gun to this head and pulls the trigger. The old man goes home and his wife says "So aaaaaaaaaaaaaa





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Just close your eyes, tap your heels together three times, and think to yourself, `There's no place like home.'
Good Glynda the

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