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You're all clear now, kid. Now blow this thing so we can all go home.

T.S. Eliot


If you would know the value of money, go try to borrow some.

Tacitus


Where it is a duty to worship the sun it is pretty sure to be a crime to examine the laws of heat.

Tacitus


The only promotion rules I can think of are that a sense of shame is to be avoided at all costs and there is never any reason for a hustler to be less cunning than more virtuous men. Oh yes ... whenever you think you've got something really great, a

Talleyrand Charles-Maurice De


So you think that money is the root of all evil. Have you ever asked what is the root of money?

Tao Te Ching


A good reputation is more valuable than money.

Tarkin Governor


Two can Live as Cheaply as One for Half as Long.

Tarkington Booth


Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.

Tarsus Paul of


Optimism is the content of small men in high places.

Taylor Elizabeth


"You would do well not to imagine profundity," he said. "Anything that seems of momentous occasion should be dwelt upon as though it were of slight note. Conversely, trivialities must be attended to with the greatest of care. Because death is moment

Technology Aviation Week and Space


Pauca sed matura. [Few but excellent.]

Temple Shirley


One man's Mede is another man's Persian.

Tennant Harry


Certain passages in several laws have always defied interpretation and the most inexplicable must be a matter of opinion. A judge of the Court of Session of Scotland has sent the editors of this book his candidate which reads, "In the Nuts (unground

Terry Pratchett


If a guru falls in the forest with no one to hear him, was he really a guru at all?

Terry Pratchett


Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration.

Texa J. Frank Dobie


When the going gets tough, everyone leaves.

Thatcher Margaret


Nasrudin returned to his village from the imperial capital, and the villagers gathered around to hear what had passed. "At this time," said Nasrudin, "I only want to say that the King spoke to me." All the villagers but the stupidest ran off to spr

The Outer Limits


XXI: It's easy to get a loan unless you need it. XXII: If stock market experts were so expert, they would be buying stock, not selling advice. XXIII: Any task can be completed in only one-third more time than is currently estimated. XXIV:

The Squirrels


A journey of a thousand miles starts under one's feet.

Theophrastus


As failures go, attempting to recall the past is like trying to grasp the meaning of existence. Both make one feel like a baby clutching at a basketball: one's palms keep sliding off.

Thomas Dylan


Suffering alone exists, none who suffer; The deed there is, but no doer thereof; Nirvana is, but no one is seeking it; The Path there is, but none who travel it.

Thomas Dylan


It is the quality rather than the quantity that matters.

Thomas J. Parnell


I owe the public nothing.

Thomas Marlo


The world wants to be deceived.

Thomas Marlo


Only that in you which is me can hear what I'm saying.

Thomas Norman


The man who runs may fight again.

Thomas Carlyle


A definition of teaching: casting fake pearls before real swine.

Thomas Dave


Don't tell me how hard you work. Tell me how much you get done.

Thomas De Quincey


Most general statements are false, including this one.

Thomas De Quincey


Why be a man when you can be a success?

Thomas De Quincey


Let us not look back in anger or forward in fear, but around us in awareness.

Thomas Jefferson


An older student came to Otis and said, "I have been to see a great number of teachers and I have given up a great number of pleasures. I have fasted, been celibate and stayed awake nights seeking enlightenment. I have given up everything I was aske

Thomas King


A woman occasionally is quite a serviceable substitute for masturbation. It takes an abundance of imagination, to be sure.

Thomas Macaulay


The individual choice of garnishment of a burger can be an important point to the consumer in this day when individualism is an increasingly important thing to people.

Thomas W. Lamont


Learning without thought is labor lost; thought without learning is perilous.

Thompson Dr. Hunter S.


Perfection is reached, not when there is no longer anything to add, but when there is no longer anything to take away.

Thompson Dr. Hunter S.


Coincidences are spiritual puns.

Thompson H.S.


Life being what it is, one dreams of revenge.

Thompson Hunter S.


He that composes himself is wiser than he that composes a book.

Thompson Hunter S.


There is no better way of exercising the imagination than the study of law. No poet ever interpreted nature as freely as a lawyer interprets truth.

Thompson Ken


If a thing's worth having, it's worth cheating for.

Thore Henry David


We're only in it for the volume.

Thoreau


The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence.

Thoreau H.D.


Money can't buy love, but it improves your bargaining position.

Thoreau Henry David


It is only the man whose intellect is clouded by his sexual impulse that could give the name of the fair sex to that undersized, narrow-shouldered, broad-hipped, and short-legged race.

Thoreau Henry David


A businessman is a hybrid of a dancer and a calculator.

Thoreau Henry David


Use an accordion. Go to jail.

Thoreau Henry David


Never appeal to a man's "better nature." He may not have one. Invoking his self-interest gives you more leverage.

Thoreau Henry David


Were there no women, men might live like gods.

Thoreau Henry David


The USA is so enormous, and so numerous are its schools, colleges and religious seminaries, many devoted to special religious beliefs ranging from the unorthodox to the dotty, that we can hardly wonder at its yielding a more bounteous harvest of gobb

Thoreau Henry David


Well, the handwriting is on the floor.

Thoreau Henry David


Do not despair of life. You have no doubt force enough to overcome your obstacles. Think of the fox prowling through wood and field in a winter night for something to satisfy his hunger. Notwithstanding cold and hounds and traps, his race survives

Thoreau David Henry


Sic transit gloria mundi. [So passes away the glory of this world.]

Thurber James


It's easier to take it apart than to put it back together.

Thurber James


Anything that is worth doing has been done frequently. Things hitherto undone should be given, I suspect, a wide berth.

Thurber James


I know not how I came into this, shall I call it a dying life or a living death?

Thurber James


Working with Julie Andrews is like getting hit over the head with a valentine.

Ti Chuck Shepherd


Fortune Documents the Great Legal Decisions: We think that we may take judicial notice of the fact that the term "bitch" may imply some feeling of endearment when applied to a female of the canine species but that it is seldom, if ever, so used whe

Tikkanen Henrik


(1) Avoid fried meats which angry up the blood. (2) If your stomach antagonizes you, pacify it with cool thoughts. (3) Keep the juices flowing by jangling around gently as you move. (4) Go very lightly on the vices, such as carrying on in society, as

Tiselius Arne


Destiny is a good thing to accept when it's going your way. When it isn't, don't call it destiny; call it injustice, treachery, or simple bad luck.

Titus Livius


Wishing without work is like fishing without bait.

Tobaben


Never take a resume seriously. Resumes only make money for the people who write the resumes. No resume ever tells an employer how many times a job applicant has had the clap. Why, indeed, would anyone hire a person based on a resume written by a

Tocqueville Alexis de


It is a lesson which all history teaches wise men, to put trust in ideas, and not in circumstances.

Todd Ruthven Campbell


With Congress, every time they make a joke it's a law; and every time they make a law it's a joke.

Tokugawa Shogun


What soon grows old? Gratitude.

Tolkien J. R. R.


There are three reasons for becoming a writer: the first is that you need the money; the second that you have something to say that you think the world should know; the third is that you can't think what to do with the long winter evenings.

Tolkien J. R. R.


Facts are the enemy of truth.

Tolkien J. R. R.


I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday and I love today.

Tolkien J. R. R.


When the ax entered the forest, the trees said, "The handle is one of us!"

Tolkien J.R.R.


A lie is an abomination unto the Lord and a very present help in time of trouble.

Tolkien J.R.R.


The lawgiver, of all beings, most owes the law allegiance. He of all men should behave as though the law compelled him. But it is the universal weakness of mankind that what we are given to administer we presently imagine we own.

Tolkien J.R.R.


Too many people are thinking of security instead of opportunity. They seem more afraid of life than death.

Tolkien J.R.R.


If what they've been doing hasn't solved the problem, tell them to do something else.

Tolstoy


Reality is nothing but a collective hunch.

Tolstoy


One hundred women are not worth a single testicle.

Tolstoy


Try not to have a good time ... This is supposed to be educational.

Tolstoy


I value kindness to human beings first of all, and kindness to animals. I don't respect the law; I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger, the food cheaper, and old men

Tolstoy Leo


Please try to limit the amount of "this room doesn't have any bazingas" until you are told that those rooms are "punched out." Once punched out, we have a right to complain about atrocities, missing bazingas, and such.

Tomash Erwin


Depend on the rabbit's foot if you will, but remember, it didn't help the rabbit.

Tomlin Lily


A word to the wise is enough.

Tomlin Lily


XXVI: If a sufficient number of management layers are superimposed on each other, it can be assured that disaster is not left to chance. XXVII: Rank does not intimidate hardware. Neither does the lack of rank. XXVIII: It is better to be the r

Tomlin Lily


The rights and interests of the laboring man will be protected and cared for not by our labor agitators, but by the Christian men to whom God in his infinite wisdom has given control of property interests of the country, and upon the successful manag

Tomlin Lily


Charity begins at home.

Tomlin Lily


Beggars should be no choosers.

Tomlin Lily


Don't get mad, get even.

Tomlin Lily


The tree in which the sap is stagnant remains fruitless.

Tourbillon


Certainly the game is rigged. Don't let that stop you; if you don't bet, you can't win.

Toynbee Arnold Joseph


Pereant, inquit, qui ante nos nostra dixerunt. [Confound those who have said our remarks before us.] or [May they perish who have expressed our bright ideas before us.]

Tr Leon


Remembering is for those who have forgotten.

Trend Motor


We are what we pretend to be.

Trend Motor


Silence is the element in which great things fashion themselves.

Trend Motor


The root of all superstition is that men observe when a thing hits, but not when it misses.

Trillin Calvin


There are two ways of disliking art. One is to dislike it. The other is to like it rationally.

Trilling Lionel


All of us should treasure his Oriental wisdom and his preaching of a Zen-like detachment, as exemplified by his constant reminder to clerks, tellers, or others who grew excited by his presence in their banks: "Just lie down on the floor and keep calm

Trotsky


Save a little money each month and at the end of the year you'll be surprised at how little you have.

Trudeau P.E.


The future not being born, my friend, we will abstain from baptizing it.

Truman Harry


If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?

Truman Harry


The Least Successful Equal Pay Advertisement In 1976 the European Economic Community pointed out to the Irish Government that it had not yet implemented the agreed sex equality legislation. The Dublin Government immediately advertised for an equal

Truman Harry S.


VI: A hungry dog hunts best. A hungrier dog hunts even better. VII: Decreased business base increases overhead. So does increased business base. VIII: The most unsuccessful four years in the education of a cost-estimator is fifth grade ari

Truman Harry S.


When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

Truman Harry S.


In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes.

Truman Harry S.


The life which is unexamined is not worth living.

Truman President Harry S.


Ignorance is the Mother of Devotion.

Tsu Lao


Housework can kill you if done right.

Tsu Lao


The first myth of management is that it exists. The second myth of management is that success equals skill.

Tsu Lao


The cable TV sex channels don't expand our horizons, don't make us better people, and don't come in clearly enough.

Tsu Lao


God gave man two ears and one tongue so that we listen twice as much as we speak.

Tsu Lao


The term "fire" brings up visions of violence and mayhem and the ugly scene of shooting employees who make mistakes. We will now refer to this process as "deleting" an employee (much as a file is deleted from a disk). The employee is simply there o

Tsu Lao


Before you ask more questions, think about whether you really want to know the answers.

Tsu Lao


You can't expect a boy to be vicious till he's been to a good school.

Tsu Lao


Practice yourself what you preach.

Tsu Lao


Wait for that wisest of all counselors, Time.

Tsu Lao


Things are more like they are today than they ever were before.

Tsu Lao


If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars.

Tsu Lao


Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?

Tsu Lao


Life is like a sewer. What you get out of it depends on what you put into it.

Tsu Lao


Star Wars is adolescent nonsense; Close Encounters is obscurantist drivel; Star Trek can turn your brains to puree of bat guano; and the greatest science fiction series of all time is Doctor Who! And I'll take you all on, one-by-one or all in a bunc

Tuc The mayor of


Your wig steers the gig.

Turgenev


The road to Hades is easy to travel.

Turner Ted


Some performers on television appear to be horrible people, but when you finally get to know them in person, they turn out to be even worse.

Turner Ted


Trifles make perfection, and perfection is no trifle.

Tusser Thomas


"She said, `I know you ... you cannot sing'. I said, `That's nothing, you should hear me play piano.'"

Tusser Thomas


Nothing matters very much, and few things matter at all.

Twain Mark


Never promise more than you can perform.

Twain Mark


A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.

Twain Mark


The pollution's at that awkward stage. Too thick to navigate and too thin to cultivate.

Twain Mark


It is a profitable thing, if one is wise, to seem foolish.

Twain Mark


I will make you shorter by the head.

Twain Mark


There is a secret person undamaged within every individual.

Twain Mark


Every man thinks God is on his side. The rich and powerful know that he is.

Twain Mark


British education is probably the best in the world, if you can survive it. If you can't there is nothing left for you but the diplomatic corps.

Twain Mark


If a jury in a criminal trial stays out for more than twenty-four hours, it is certain to vote acquittal, save in those instances where it votes guilty.

Twain Mark


Exxon's 'Universe of Energy' tends to the peculiar rather than the humorous ... After [an incomprehensible film montage about wind and sun and rain and strip mines and] two or three minutes of mechanical confusion, the seats locomote through a short

Twain Mark


There's no such thing as a free lunch.

Twain Mark


While there's life, there's hope.

Twain Mark


Furious activity is no substitute for understanding.

Twain Mark


A sinking ship gathers no moss.

Twain Mark


If a fool persists in his folly he shall become wise.

Twain Mark


Treat your friend as if he might become an enemy.

Twain Mark


Death is life's way of telling you you've been fired.

Twain Mark


About the time we think we can make ends meet, somebody moves the ends.

Twain Mark


Someday we'll look back on this moment and plow into a parked car.

Twain Mark


To every Ph.D. there is an equal and opposite Ph.D.

Twain Mark


I'll turn over a new leaf.

Twain Mark


If a man stay away from his wife for seven years, the law presumes the separation to have killed him; yet according to our daily experience, it might well prolong his life.

Twain Mark


"There was an interesting development in the CBS-Westmoreland trial: both sides agreed that after the trial, Andy Rooney would be allowed to talk to the jury for three minutes about little things that annoyed him during the trial."

Twain Mark


She was good at playing abstract confusion in the same way a midget is good at being short.

Twain Mark


When in doubt, use brute force.

Twain Mark


If the ends don't justify the means, then what does?

Twain Mark


Practical people would be more practical if they would take a little more time for dreaming.

Twain Mark


Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself.

Twain Mark


Every person, all the events in your life are there because you have drawn them there. What you choose to do with them is up to you.

Twain Mark


By protracting life, we do not deduct one jot from the duration of death.

Twain Mark


No one born with a mouth and a need is "innocent".

Twain Mark


The mome rath isn't born that could outgrabe me.

Twain Mark


The first rule of intelligent tinkering is to save all the parts.

Twain Mark


Any road followed to its end leads precisely nowhere. Climb the mountain just a little to test it's a mountain. From the top of the mountain, you cannot see the mountain.

Twain Mark


Superstition, idolatry, and hypocrisy have ample wages, but truth goes a-begging.

Twain Mark


Plus ,ca change, plus c'est la m^eme chose. [The more things change, the more they remain the same.]

Twain Mark


She ran the gamut of emotions from 'A' to 'B'.

Twain Mark


Pity the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.

Twain Mark


Happiness isn't something you experience; it's something you remember.

Twain Mark


"What are you watching?" "I don't know." "Well, what's happening?" "I'm not sure... I think the guy in the hat did something terrible." "Why are you watching it?" "You're so analytical. Sometimes you just have to let art flow over you."

Twain Mark


He who knows, does not speak. He who speaks, does not know.

Twain Mark


Use what talents you possess: the woods would be very silent if no birds sang there except those that sang best.

Twain Mark


XLI: The more one produces, the less one gets. XLII: Simple systems are not feasible because they require infinite testing. XLIII: Hardware works best when it matters the least. XLIV: Aircraft flight in the 21st century will always be in a we

Twain Mark


What does education often do? It makes a straight cut ditch of a free meandering brook.

Twain Mark


The truth is what is; what should be is a dirty lie.

Twain Mark


It is impossible to enjoy idling thoroughly unless one has plenty of work to do.

Twain Mark


American business long ago gave up on demanding that prospective employees be honest and hardworking. It has even stopped hoping for employees who are educated enough that they can tell the difference between the men's room and the women's room with

Twain Mark


You are never given a wish without also being given the power to make it true. You may have to work for it, however.

Twain Mark


Absolutum obsoletum. (If it works, it's out of date.)

Twain Mark


The best you get is an even break.

Twain Mark


I heard a definition of an intellectual, that I thought was very interesting: a man who takes more words than are necessary to tell more than he knows.

Twain Mark


The Law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich, as well as the poor, to sleep under the bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread.

Twain Mark


The major sin is the sin of being born.

Twain Mark


By the middle 1880's, practically all the roads except those in the South, were of the present standard gauge. The southern roads were still five feet between rails. It was decided to change the gauge of all southern roads to standard, in one day

Twain Mark


My father was a creole, his father a Negro, and his father a monkey; my family, it seems, begins where yours left off.

Twain Mark


Music in the soul can be heard by the universe.

Twain Mark


Twain Mark


Si jeunesse savait, si vieillesse pouvait. [If youth but knew, if old age but could.]

Twain Mark


Five bicycles make a volkswagen, seven make a truck.

Twain Mark


Goals... Plans... they're fantasies, they're part of a dream world...

Twain Mark


The greatest griefs are those we cause ourselves.

Twain Mark


Exceptions prove the rule, and wreck the budget.

Twain Mark


The man who has never been flogged has never been taught.

Twain Mark


No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.

Twain Mark


Instead of loving your enemies, treat your friends a little better.

Twain Mark


Divorce is a game played by lawyers.

Twain Mark


Chapter 1 The story so far: In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.

Twain Mark


Nothing succeeds like success.

Twain Mark


Truth never comes into the world but like a bastard, to the ignominy of him that brought her birth.

Twain Mark


Experience is a good teacher, but she sends in terrific bills.

Twain Mark


The meek shall inherit the earth, but *not* its mineral rights.

Twain Mark


Sometimes a man who deserves to be looked down upon because he is a fool is despised only because he is a lawyer.

Twain Mark


The universe is made of stories, not of atoms.

Twain Mark


Small is beautiful.

Twain Mark


Zero Mostel: That's it baby! When you got it, flaunt it! Flaunt it!

Twain Mark


Some men are heterosexual, and some are bisexual, and some men don't think about sex at all... they become lawyers.

Twain Mark


And ever has it been known that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation.

Twain Mark


Dignity is like a flag. It flaps in a storm.

Twain Mark


Any two philosophers can tell each other all they know in two hours.

Twain Mark


The price of success in philosophy is triviality.

Twain Mark


He that bringeth a present, findeth the door open.

Twain Mark


The faster I go, the behinder I get.

Twain Mark


Seize the day, put no trust in the morrow!

Tweed Boss


University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.

Tyger Frank


Great acts are made up of small deeds.

Tyroon Henry


No problem is so formidable that you can't just walk away from it.

Tzu Chuang


The absurd is the essential concept and the first truth.

Tzu Chuang


The road to ruin is always in good repair, and the travellers pay the expense of it.

them! it only encourages


The faster we go, the rounder we get.

they' and he points an imaginary gun to this head and pulls the trigger. The old man goes home and his wife says "So aaaaaaaaaaaaaa





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I love treason but hate a traitor.
Caesar Gaius Julius

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