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I am a man: nothing human is alien to me.

T.S. Eliot


There are no accidents whatsoever in the universe.

Tacitus


The use of money is all the advantage there is to having money.

Tacitus


There's no such thing as a free lunch.

Talleyrand Charles-Maurice De


The future not being born, my friend, we will abstain from baptizing it.

Tao Te Ching


Kindness is the beginning of cruelty.

Tarkin Governor


If you would know the value of money, go try to borrow some.

Tarkington Booth


Well, you know, no matter where you go, there you are.

Tarsus Paul of


Waste not fresh tears over old griefs.

Taylor Elizabeth


Every man who has reached even his intellectual teens begins to suspect that life is no farce; that it is not genteel comedy even; that it flowers and fructifies on the contrary out of the profoundest tragic depths of the essential death in which its

Technology Aviation Week and Space


Nullum magnum ingenium sine mixtura dementiae fuit. [There is no great genius without some touch of madness.]

Temple Shirley


"Necessity is the mother of invention" is a silly proverb. "Necessity is the mother of futile dodges" is much nearer the truth.

Tennant Harry


The trouble with the rat-race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.

Terry Pratchett


With all the talent around, it's sort of amazing that a woman could be up here with us.

Terry Pratchett


The trouble with opportunity is that it always comes disguised as hard work.

Texa J. Frank Dobie


Nitwit ideas are for emergencies. You use them when you've got nothing else to try. If they work, they go in the Book. Otherwise you follow the Book, which is largely a collection of nitwit ideas that worked.

Thatcher Margaret


Save a little money each month and at the end of the year you'll be surprised at how little you have.

The Outer Limits


Time goes, you say? Ah no! Time stays, *we* go.

The Squirrels


When eating an elephant take one bite at a time.

Theophrastus


The major sin is the sin of being born.

Thomas Dylan


The eye is a menace to clear sight, the ear is a menace to subtle hearing, the mind is a menace to wisdom, every organ of the senses is a menace to its own capacity. ... Fuss, the god of the Southern Ocean, and Fret, the god of the Northern Ocean, h

Thomas Dylan


Every young man should have a hobby: learning how to handle money is the best one.

Thomas J. Parnell


Every word is like an unnecessary stain on silence and nothingness.

Thomas Marlo


The [Ford Foundation] is a large body of money completely surrounded by people who want some.

Thomas Marlo


In charity there is no excess.

Thomas Norman


"Life is too important to take seriously."

Thomas Carlyle


Here's to women. Would that we could fall into her arms without falling into her hands.

Thomas Dave


Of all possible committee reactions to any given agenda item, the reaction that will occur is the one which will liberate the greatest amount of hot air.

Thomas De Quincey


Don't go to bed with no price on your head.

Thomas De Quincey


Two wrongs are only the beginning.

Thomas De Quincey


Where there is much light there is also much shadow.

Thomas Jefferson


A platitude is simply a truth repeated till people get tired of hearing it.

Thomas King


What excuses stand in your way? How can you eliminate them?

Thomas Macaulay


Luck, that's when preparation and opportunity meet.

Thomas W. Lamont


We rarely find anyone who can say he has lived a happy life, and who, content with his life, can retire from the world like a satisfied guest.

Thompson Dr. Hunter S.


The best you get is an even break.

Thompson Dr. Hunter S.


Good salesmen and good repairmen will never go hungry.

Thompson H.S.


It is wise to keep in mind that neither success nor failure is ever final.

Thompson Hunter S.


General notions are generally wrong.

Thompson Hunter S.


Plumbing is one of the easier of do-it-yourself activities, requiring only a few simple tools and a willingness to stick your arm into a clogged toilet. In fact, you can solve many home plumbing problems, such as annoying faucet drip, merely by tur

Thompson Ken


All men know the utility of useful things; but they do not know the utility of futility.

Thore Henry David


I paid a visit to my local precinct in Greenwich Village and asked a sergeant to show me some rape statistics. He politely obliged. That month there had been thirty-five rape complaints, an advance of ten over the same month for the previous year.

Thoreau


CF&C stole it, fair and square.

Thoreau H.D.


It is annoying to be honest to no purpose.

Thoreau Henry David


When the going gets tough, everyone leaves.

Thoreau Henry David


IF I HAD A MINE SHAFT, I don't think I would just abandon it. There's got to be a better way.

Thoreau Henry David


Coincidences are spiritual puns.

Thoreau Henry David


No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.

Thoreau Henry David


'Naomi, sex at noon taxes.' I moan. Never odd or even. A man, a plan, a canal, Panama. Madam, I'm Adam. Sit on a potato pan, Otis. Sit on Otis.

Thoreau Henry David


The only happiness lies in reason; all the rest of the world is dismal. The highest reason, however, I see in the work of the artist, and he may experience it as such. Happiness lies in the swiftness of feeling and thinking: all the rest of the worl

Thoreau Henry David


It is a profitable thing, if one is wise, to seem foolish.

Thoreau Henry David


Wishing without work is like fishing without bait.

Thoreau David Henry


Only that in you which is me can hear what I'm saying.

Thurber James


When the English language gets in my way, I walk over it.

Thurber James


I always wake up at the crack of ice.

Thurber James


I don't have any solution but I certainly admire the problem.

Thurber James


Mother is far too clever to understand anything she does not like.

Ti Chuck Shepherd


Reality is just a convenient measure of complexity.

Tikkanen Henrik


He thought of Musashi, the Sword Saint, standing in his garden more than three hundred years ago. "What is the 'Body of a rock'?" he was asked. In answer, Musashi summoned a pupil of his and bid him kill himself by slashing his abdomen with a knife.

Tiselius Arne


A man gazing at the stars is proverbially at the mercy of the puddles in the road.

Titus Livius


The `loner' may be respected, but he is always resented by his colleagues, for he seems to be passing a critical judgment on them, when he may be simply making a limiting statement about himself.

Tobaben


The time spent on any item of the agenda [of a finance committee] will be in inverse proportion to the sum involved.

Tocqueville Alexis de


Please try to limit the amount of "this room doesn't have any bazingas" until you are told that those rooms are "punched out." Once punched out, we have a right to complain about atrocities, missing bazingas, and such.

Todd Ruthven Campbell


I just need enough to tide me over until I need more.

Tokugawa Shogun


Whom the mad would destroy, first they make Gods.

Tolkien J. R. R.


"We're not talking about the same thing," he said. "For you the world is weird because if you're not bored with it you're at odds with it. For me the world is weird because it is stupendous, awesome, mysterious, unfathomable; my interest has been to

Tolkien J. R. R.


If your happiness depends on what somebody else does, I guess you do have a problem.

Tolkien J. R. R.


Somehow I reached excess without ever noticing when I was passing through satisfaction.

Tolkien J. R. R.


The optimist thinks that this is the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist knows it.

Tolkien J.R.R.


There is no proverb that is not true.

Tolkien J.R.R.


A committee takes root and grows, it flowers, wilts and dies, scattering the seed from which other committees will bloom.

Tolkien J.R.R.


Tolkien J.R.R.


I: The best way to make a silk purse from a sow's ear is to begin with a silk sow. The same is true of money. II: If today were half as good as tomorrow is supposed to be, it would probably be twice as good as yesterday was. III: There are

Tolstoy


Never buy what you do not want because it is cheap; it will be dear to you.

Tolstoy


There are many of us in this old world of ours who hold that things break about even for all of us. I have observed, for example, that we all get about the same amount of ice. The rich get it in the summer and the poor get it in the winter.

Tolstoy


Man is the measure of all things.

Tolstoy


Advertising is the rattling of a stick inside a swill bucket.

Tolstoy Leo


Arrakis teaches the attitude of the knife - chopping off what's incomplete and saying: "Now it's complete because it's ended here."

Tomash Erwin


Treat your friend as if he might become an enemy.

Tomlin Lily


Indeed, the first noble truth of Buddhism, usually translated as `all life is suffering,' is more accurately rendered `life is filled with a sense of pervasive unsatisfactoriness.'

Tomlin Lily


No small art is it to sleep: it is necessary for that purpose to keep awake all day.

Tomlin Lily


God gave man two ears and one tongue so that we listen twice as much as we speak.

Tomlin Lily


Whatever it is, I fear Greeks even when they bring gifts.

Tomlin Lily


A memorandum is written not to inform the reader, but to protect the writer.

Tomlin Lily


Some women should be beaten regularly, like gongs.

Tomlin Lily


We were so poor we couldn't afford a watchdog. If we heard a noise at night, we'd bark ourselves.

Tourbillon


"Well," Brahma said, "even after ten thousand explanations, a fool is no wiser, but an intelligent man requires only two thousand five hundred."

Toynbee Arnold Joseph


Circumstances rule men; men do not rule circumstances.

Tr Leon


The shortest distance between two points is under construction.

Trend Motor


The idea there was that consumers would bring their broken electronic devices, such as television sets and VCR's, to the destruction centers, where trained personnel would whack them (the devices) with sledgehammers. With their devices thus permanent

Trend Motor


Crito, I owe a cock to Asclepius; will you remember to pay the debt?

Trend Motor


I do not know whether I was then a man dreaming I was a butterfly, or whether I am now a butterfly dreaming I am a man.

Trillin Calvin


The sky is blue so we know where to stop mowing.

Trilling Lionel


Pity the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.

Trotsky


So little time, so little to do.

Trudeau P.E.


"Cogito ergo I'm right and you're wrong."

Truman Harry


The primary cause of failure in electrical appliances is an expired warranty. Often, you can get an appliance running again simply by changing the warranty expiration date with a 15/64-inch felt-tipped marker.

Truman Harry


Let's remind ourselves that last year's fresh idea is today's cliche.

Truman Harry S.


The most costly of all follies is to believe passionately in the palpably not true. It is the chief occupation of mankind.

Truman Harry S.


Believe everything you hear about the world; nothing is too impossibly bad.

Truman Harry S.


"Hey, Sam, how about a loan?" "Whattaya need?" "Oh, about $500." "Whattaya got for collateral?" "Whattaya need?" "How about an eye?"

Truman Harry S.


Ask not for whom the Bell tolls, and you will pay only the station-to-station rate.

Truman President Harry S.


Never invest your money in anything that eats or needs repainting.

Tsu Lao


A woman takes off her claim to respect along with her garments.

Tsu Lao


To add insult to injury.

Tsu Lao


I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best.

Tsu Lao


Nothing recedes like success.

Tsu Lao


A dead man cannot bite.

Tsu Lao


Standards are different for all things, so the standard set by man is by no means the only 'certain' standard. If you mistake what is relative for something certain, you have strayed far from the ultimate truth.

Tsu Lao


Work is of two kinds: first, altering the position of matter at or near the earth's surface relative to other matter; second, telling other people to do so.

Tsu Lao


An ounce of hypocrisy is worth a pound of ambition.

Tsu Lao


Everything takes longer, costs more, and is less useful.

Tsu Lao


Misery no longer loves company. Nowadays it insists on it.

Tsu Lao


May you live in uninteresting times.

Tsu Lao


It is better to live rich than to die rich.

Tsu Lao


Tsu Lao


Someday, Weederman, we'll look back on all this and laugh... It will probably be one of those deep, eerie ones that slowly builds to a blood-curdling maniacal scream... but still it will be a laugh.

Tuc The mayor of


What we need in this country, instead of Daylight Savings Time, which nobody really understands anyway, is a new concept called Weekday Morning Time, whereby at 7 a.m. every weekday we go into a space-launch-style "hold" for two to three hours, durin

Turgenev


Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself.

Turner Ted


You climb to reach the summit, but once there, discover that all roads lead down.

Turner Ted


Your wig steers the gig.

Tusser Thomas


To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.

Tusser Thomas


There's no such thing as an original sin.

Twain Mark


When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.

Twain Mark


He who knows, does not speak. He who speaks, does not know.

Twain Mark


Men freely believe that what they wish to desire.

Twain Mark


A man's house is his castle.

Twain Mark


Imagine what we can imagine!

Twain Mark


The two most beautiful words in the English language are "Cheque Enclosed."

Twain Mark


Brahma said: Well, after hearing ten thousand explanations, a fool is no wiser. But an intelligent man needs only two thousand five hundred.

Twain Mark


The sooner you make your first 5000 mistakes, the sooner you will be able to correct them.

Twain Mark


Neckties strangle clear thinking.

Twain Mark


What does not destroy me, makes me stronger.

Twain Mark


There is a natural hootchy-kootchy to a goldfish.

Twain Mark


"What's the use of a good quotation if you can't change it?"

Twain Mark


God made everything out of nothing, but the nothingness shows through.

Twain Mark


Time is the most valuable thing a man can spend.

Twain Mark


The longest part of the journey is said to be the passing of the gate.

Twain Mark


Rome was not built in one day.

Twain Mark


What!? Me worry?

Twain Mark


per year.

Twain Mark


When the blind lead the blind they will both fall over the cliff.

Twain Mark


You can't run away forever, But there's nothing wrong with getting a good head start.

Twain Mark


Men of lofty genius when they are doing the least work are most active.

Twain Mark


The rights and interests of the laboring man will be protected and cared for not by our labor agitators, but by the Christian men to whom God in his infinite wisdom has given control of property interests of the country, and upon the successful manag

Twain Mark


In every hierarchy the cream rises until it sours.

Twain Mark


I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday and I love today.

Twain Mark


If a shameless woman expects to be defiled and then dies of her fierce love because you do not consent, will chastity also be homicide?

Twain Mark


Most general statements are false, including this one.

Twain Mark


All hope abandon, ye who enter here!

Twain Mark


The root of all superstition is that men observe when a thing hits, but not when it misses.

Twain Mark


No problem is so formidable that you can't just walk away from it.

Twain Mark


He that bringeth a present, findeth the door open.

Twain Mark


One man's Mede is another man's Persian.

Twain Mark


If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

Twain Mark


There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?

Twain Mark


If it doesn't smell yet, it's pretty fresh.

Twain Mark


"Do you think there's a God?" "Well, ____SOMEbody's out to get me!"

Twain Mark


One learns to itch where one can scratch.

Twain Mark


I know not how I came into this, shall I call it a dying life or a living death?

Twain Mark


A sad spectacle. If they be inhabited, what a scope for misery and folly. If they be not inhabited, what a waste of space.

Twain Mark


Long were the days of pain I have spent within its walls, and long were the nights of aloneness; and who can depart from his pain and his aloneness without regret?

Twain Mark


Intellect annuls Fate. So far as a man thinks, he is free.

Twain Mark


Aim for the moon. If you miss, you may hit a star.

Twain Mark


For if there is a sin against life, it consists perhaps not so much in despairing of life as in hoping for another life and in eluding the implacable grandeur of this life.

Twain Mark


Words have a longer life than deeds.

Twain Mark


He has not acquired a fortune; the fortune has acquired him.

Twain Mark


Events are not affected, they develop.

Twain Mark


Men's skin is different from women's skin. It is usually bigger, and it has more snakes tattooed on it. Also, if you examine a woman's skin very closely, inch by inch, starting at her shapely ankles, then gently tracing the slender curve of her cal

Twain Mark


If I were a grave-digger or even a hangman, there are some people I could work for with a great deal of enjoyment.

Twain Mark


Mental power tended to corrupt, and absolute intelligence tended to corrupt absolutely, until the victim eschewed violence entirely in favor of smart solutions to stupid problems.

Twain Mark


Advertising is a valuable economic factor because it is the cheapest way of selling goods, particularly if the goods are worthless.

Twain Mark


"MOKE DAT YIGARETTE"

Twain Mark


Between 1950 and 1952, a bored weatherman, stationed north of Hudson Bay, left a monument that neither government nor time can eradicate. Using a bulldozer abandoned by the Air Force, he spent two years and great effort pushing boulders into a single

Twain Mark


If you do not think about the future, you cannot have one.

Twain Mark


The greatest griefs are those we cause ourselves.

Twain Mark


The only certainty is that nothing is certain.

Twain Mark


If what they've been doing hasn't solved the problem, tell them to do something else.

Twain Mark


It is not enough that I should succeed. Others must fail.

Twain Mark


Confucius say too much.

Twain Mark


Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.

Twain Mark


We are what we pretend to be.

Twain Mark


Nothing is so firmly believed as that which we least know.

Twain Mark


I'm always looking for a new idea that will be more productive than its cost.

Twain Mark


Receiving a million dollars tax free will make you feel better than being flat broke and having a stomach ache.

Twain Mark


Non-Determinism is not meant to be reasonable.

Twain Mark


He knows not how to know who knows not also how to unknow.

Twain Mark


Thou hast seen nothing yet.

Twain Mark


Honesty pays, but it doesn't seem to pay enough to suit some people.

Twain Mark


A beginning is the time for taking the most delicate care that balances are correct.

Twain Mark


Superstition, idolatry, and hypocrisy have ample wages, but truth goes a-begging.

Twain Mark


The race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, but that's the way to bet.

Twain Mark


Go away, I'm all right.

Twain Mark


Plus ,ca change, plus c'est la m^eme chose. [The more things change, the more they remain the same.]

Twain Mark


The man-hating woman, like the cold woman, is largely imaginary. She is simply a woman who has done her best to snare a man and has failed.

Twain Mark


"I only touch base with reality on an as-needed basis!"

Twain Mark


Competitive fury is not always anger. It is the true missionary's courage and zeal in facing the possibility that one's best may not be enough.

Twain Mark


Eighteen goddess-like daughters are not equal to one son with a hump.

Twain Mark


... "fire" does not matter, "earth" and "air" and "water" do not matter. "I" do not matter. No word matters. But man forgets reality and remembers words. The more words he remembers, the cleverer do his fellows esteem him. He looks upon the great

Twain Mark


In the highest society, as well as in the lowest, woman is merely an instrument of pleasure.

Twain Mark


If you only have a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail.

Twain Mark


I know on which side my bread is buttered.

Twain Mark


Perfection is reached, not when there is no longer anything to add, but when there is no longer anything to take away.

Twain Mark


A likely impossibility is always preferable to an unconvincing possibility.

Twain Mark


Work is the crab grass in the lawn of life.

Twain Mark


No evil can happen to a good man.

Tweed Boss


Innovation is hard to schedule.

Tyger Frank


Catharsis is something I associate with pornography and crossword puzzles.

Tyroon Henry


Haste makes waste.

Tzu Chuang


Absolutum obsoletum. (If it works, it's out of date.)

Tzu Chuang


There is no fool to the old fool.

them! it only encourages


Genius is pain.

they' and he points an imaginary gun to this head and pulls the trigger. The old man goes home and his wife says "So aaaaaaaaaaaaaa





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You may be sure that when a man begins to call himself a "realist," he is preparing to do something he is secretly ashamed of doing.
Harris Sydney

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