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A priest asked: What is Fate, Master? And the Master answered: It is that which gives a beast of burden its reason for existence. It is that which men in former times had to bear upon their backs. It is that which has caused nations to build bywa

T.S. Eliot


Si Dieu n'existait pas, il faudrait l'inventer. [If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him.]

Tacitus


An atom-blaster is a good weapon, but it can point both ways.

Tacitus


Death is life's way of telling you you've been fired.

Talleyrand Charles-Maurice De


Such evil deeds could religion prompt.

Tao Te Ching


Perhaps, after all, America never has been discovered. I myself would say that it had merely been detected.

Tarkin Governor


We can embody the truth, but we cannot know it.

Tarkington Booth


Don't steal; thou'lt never thus compete successfully in business. Cheat.

Tarsus Paul of


One thing I have no worry about is whether God exists. But it has occurred to me that God has Alzheimer's and has forgotten we exist.

Taylor Elizabeth


If at first you don't succeed, you're doing about average.

Technology Aviation Week and Space


The greatest productive force is human selfishness.

Temple Shirley


Hollywood is where if you don't have happiness you send out for it.

Tennant Harry


"Why are we importing all these highbrow plays like `Amadeus'? I could have told you Mozart was a jerk for nothing."

Terry Pratchett


Do not seek death; death will find you. But seek the road which makes death a fulfillment.

Terry Pratchett


When I have one foot in the grave I will tell the truth about women. I shall tell it, jump into my coffin, pull the lid over me, and say, "Do what you like now."

Texa J. Frank Dobie


No excellent soul is exempt from a mixture of madness.

Thatcher Margaret


The last thing one knows in constructing a work is what to put first.

The Outer Limits


There is no proverb that is not true.

The Squirrels


I know on which side my bread is buttered.

Theophrastus


Laws are like sausages. It's better not to see them being made.

Thomas Dylan


L'hazard ne favorise que l'esprit prepare.

Thomas Dylan


The abuse of greatness is when it disjoins remorse from power.

Thomas J. Parnell


The error of youth is to believe that intelligence is a substitute for experience, while the error of age is to believe experience is a substitute for intelligence.

Thomas Marlo


A place for everything and everything in its place.

Thomas Marlo


Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration.

Thomas Norman


It is difficult to produce a television documentary that is both incisive and probing when every twelve minutes one is interrupted by twelve dancing rabbits singing about toilet paper.

Thomas Carlyle


Advertising is the rattling of a stick inside a swill bucket.

Thomas Dave


If a thing's worth doing, it is worth doing badly.

Thomas De Quincey


The more the merrier.

Thomas De Quincey


Television has proved that people will look at anything rather than each other.

Thomas De Quincey


San Francisco isn't what it used to be, and it never was.

Thomas Jefferson


Whatever occurs from love is always beyond good and evil.

Thomas King


Tertullian was born in Carthage somewhere about 160 A.D. He was a pagan, and he abandoned himself to the lascivious life of his city until about his 35th year, when he became a Christian. [...] To him is ascribed the sublime confession: Credo quia

Thomas Macaulay


"You mean, if you allow the master to be uncivil, to treat you any old way he likes, and to insult your dignity, then he may deem you fit to hear his view of things?" "Quite the contrary. You must defend your integrity, assuming you have integrit

Thomas W. Lamont


Civilization is the limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessities.

Thompson Dr. Hunter S.


What soon grows old? Gratitude.

Thompson Dr. Hunter S.


Certainly the game is rigged. Don't let that stop you; if you don't bet, you can't win.

Thompson H.S.


No two persons ever read the same book.

Thompson Hunter S.


My only love sprung from my only hate! Too early seen unknown, and known too late!

Thompson Hunter S.


In childhood a woman must be subject to her father; in youth to her husband; when her husband is dead, to her sons. A woman must never be free of subjugation.

Thompson Ken


The best you get is an even break.

Thore Henry David


Any road followed to its end leads precisely nowhere. Climb the mountain just a little to test it's a mountain. From the top of the mountain, you cannot see the mountain.

Thoreau


Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.

Thoreau H.D.


Porsche: there simply is no substitute.

Thoreau Henry David


Of all men's miseries, the bitterest is this: to know so much and have control over nothing.

Thoreau Henry David


If you know the answer to a question, don't ask.

Thoreau Henry David


One learns to itch where one can scratch.

Thoreau Henry David


Education is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember from time to time that nothing that is worth knowing can be taught.

Thoreau Henry David


True to our past we work with an inherited, observed, and accepted vision of personal futility, and of the beauty of the world.

Thoreau Henry David


In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes.

Thoreau Henry David


A wise person makes his own decisions, a weak one obeys public opinion.

Thoreau Henry David


Intellect annuls Fate. So far as a man thinks, he is free.

Thoreau David Henry


Where do I find the time for not reading so many books?

Thurber James


NEW YORK

Thurber James


What makes you think graduate school is supposed to be satisfying?

Thurber James


Never keep up with the Joneses. Drag them down to your level.

Thurber James


Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely.

Ti Chuck Shepherd


To restore a sense of reality, I think Walt Disney should have a Hardluckland.

Tikkanen Henrik


For fools rush in where angels fear to tread.

Tiselius Arne


Gay shlafen: Yiddish for "go to sleep". Now doesn't "gay shlafen" have a softer, more soothing sound than the harsh, staccato "go to sleep"? Listen to the difference: "Go to sleep, you little wretch!" ... "Gay shlafen, darling." Obvious, isn't

Titus Livius


You get what you pay for.

Tobaben


VI: A hungry dog hunts best. A hungrier dog hunts even better. VII: Decreased business base increases overhead. So does increased business base. VIII: The most unsuccessful four years in the education of a cost-estimator is fifth grade ari

Tocqueville Alexis de


If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library?

Todd Ruthven Campbell


No bird soars too high if he soars with his own wings.

Tokugawa Shogun


Mate, this parrot wouldn't VOOM if you put four million volts through it!

Tolkien J. R. R.


A horse! A horse! My kingdom for a horse!

Tolkien J. R. R.


If a jury in a criminal trial stays out for more than twenty-four hours, it is certain to vote acquittal, save in those instances where it votes guilty.

Tolkien J. R. R.


All this wheeling and dealing around, why, it isn't for money, it's for fun. Money's just the way we keep score.

Tolkien J. R. R.


The Law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich, as well as the poor, to sleep under the bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread.

Tolkien J.R.R.


If it were thought that anything I wrote was influenced by Robert Frost, I would take that particular work of mine, shred it, and flush it down the toilet, hoping not to clog the pipes. A more sententious, holding- forth old bore who expected every

Tolkien J.R.R.


God gave man two ears and one tongue so that we listen twice as much as we speak.

Tolkien J.R.R.


Two heads are better than one.

Tolkien J.R.R.


Fortune Documents the Great Legal Decisions: We think that we may take judicial notice of the fact that the term "bitch" may imply some feeling of endearment when applied to a female of the canine species but that it is seldom, if ever, so used whe

Tolstoy


If a guru falls in the forest with no one to hear him, was he really a guru at all?

Tolstoy


Know what I hate most? Rhetorical questions.

Tolstoy


A good scapegoat is hard to find. A guilty conscience is the mother of invention.

Tolstoy


"Elves and Dragons!" I says to him. "Cabbages and potatoes are better for you and me."

Tolstoy Leo


With Congress, every time they make a joke it's a law; and every time they make a law it's a joke.

Tomash Erwin


All phone calls are obscene.

Tomlin Lily


If a man has a strong faith he can indulge in the luxury of skepticism.

Tomlin Lily


"Not only is God dead, but just try to find a plumber on weekends."

Tomlin Lily


Never promise more than you can perform.

Tomlin Lily


Live fast, die young, and leave a flat patch of fur on the highway!

Tomlin Lily


There is no better way of exercising the imagination than the study of law. No poet ever interpreted nature as freely as a lawyer interprets truth.

Tomlin Lily


Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them. There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.

Tomlin Lily


The man-hating woman, like the cold woman, is largely imaginary. She is simply a woman who has done her best to snare a man and has failed.

Tourbillon


This is the first age that's paid much attention to the future, which is a little ironic since we may not have one.

Toynbee Arnold Joseph


The term "fire" brings up visions of violence and mayhem and the ugly scene of shooting employees who make mistakes. We will now refer to this process as "deleting" an employee (much as a file is deleted from a disk). The employee is simply there o

Tr Leon


University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.

Trend Motor


The Law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich, as well as the poor, to sleep under the bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread.

Trend Motor


"Every morning, I get up and look through the 'Forbes' list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work"

Trend Motor


All art is but imitation of nature.

Trillin Calvin


Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the person involved.

Trilling Lionel


Money is truthful. If a man speaks of his honor, make him pay cash.

Trotsky


The life which is unexamined is not worth living.

Trudeau P.E.


The plot was designed in a light vein that somehow became varicose.

Truman Harry


If the colleges were better, if they really had it, you would need to get the police at the gates to keep order in the inrushing multitude. See in college how we thwart the natural love of learning by leaving the natural method of teaching what each

Truman Harry


I'd be a poorer man if I'd never seen an eagle fly.

Truman Harry S.


... but as records of courts and justice are admissible, it can easily be proved that powerful and malevolent magicians once existed and were a scourge to mankind. The evidence (including confession) upon which certain women were convicted of witch

Truman Harry S.


Ten years of rejection slips is nature's way of telling you to stop writing.

Truman Harry S.


Sometimes, too long is too long.

Truman Harry S.


With Congress, every time they make a joke it's a law; and every time they make a law it's a joke.

Truman President Harry S.


Nothing recedes like success.

Tsu Lao


O, it is excellent To have a giant's strength; but it is tyrannous To use it like a giant.

Tsu Lao


The only certainty is that nothing is certain.

Tsu Lao


Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.

Tsu Lao


Show business is just like high school, except you get paid.

Tsu Lao


Sometimes I wonder if I'm in my right mind. Then it passes off and I'm as intelligent as ever.

Tsu Lao


Love may laugh at locksmiths, but he has a profound respect for money bags.

Tsu Lao


Acting is not very hard. The most important things are to be able to laugh and cry. If I have to cry, I think of my sex life. And if I have to laugh, well, I think of my sex life.

Tsu Lao


Lo! Men have become the tool of their tools.

Tsu Lao


The more laws and order are made prominent, the more thieves and robbers there will be.

Tsu Lao


I have just enough white in me to make my honesty questionable.

Tsu Lao


You always introduce the younger person to the older person, using the wording: "Miss Brown, I'd like to introduce you to an older person" (unless her name is not "Miss Brown"). If you do not know a person's age, ask for a driver's license and a ma

Tsu Lao


It is by the fortune of God that, in this country, we have three benefits: freedom of speech, freedom of thought, and the wisdom never to use either.

Tsu Lao


Just because you like my stuff doesn't mean I owe you anything.

Tsu Lao


Destiny is a good thing to accept when it's going your way. When it isn't, don't call it destiny; call it injustice, treachery, or simple bad luck.

Tuc The mayor of


Let him choose out of my files, his projects to accomplish.

Turgenev


Well, he thought, since neither Aristotelian Logic nor the disciplines of Science seemed to offer much hope, it's time to go beyond them... Drawing a few deep even breaths, he entered a mental state practiced only by Masters of the Universal Way of

Turner Ted


If reporters don't know that truth is plural, they ought to be lawyers.

Turner Ted


Before he became a hermit, Zarathud was a young Priest, and took great delight in making fools of his opponents in front of his followers. One day Zarathud took his students to a pleasant pasture and there he confronted The Sacred Chao while She

Tusser Thomas


Take care of the luxuries and the necessities will take care of themselves.

Tusser Thomas


Television is now so desperately hungry for material that it is scraping the top of the barrel.

Twain Mark


Fain would I climb, yet fear I to fall.

Twain Mark


There is no distinctly native American criminal class except Congress.

Twain Mark


Tallulah Bankhead barged down the Nile last night as Cleopatra and sank.

Twain Mark


In every hierarchy the cream rises until it sours.

Twain Mark


Nice guys finish last.

Twain Mark


Three minutes' thought would suffice to find this out; but thought is irksome and three minutes is a long time.

Twain Mark


Delores breezed along the surface of her life like a flat stone forever skipping along smooth water, rippling reality sporadically but oblivious to it consistently, until she finally lost momentum, sank, and due to an overdose of flouride as a child

Twain Mark


Skill without imagination is craftsmanship and gives us many useful objects such as wickerwork picnic baskets. Imagination without skill gives us modern art.

Twain Mark


We Americans, we're a simple people... but piss us off, and we'll bomb your cities.

Twain Mark


The race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, but that's the way to bet.

Twain Mark


What you want, what you're hanging around in the world waiting for, is for something to occur to you.

Twain Mark


A memorandum is written not to inform the reader, but to protect the writer.

Twain Mark


My daddy's brains was so scrambled he thought he was Jesus. They put him in a nut house for 5 years and when he got out, he didn't think he was Jesus, he thought he was *God*! ... Which made me Jesus.

Twain Mark


It is only the man whose intellect is clouded by his sexual impulse that could give the name of the fair sex to that undersized, narrow-shouldered, broad-hipped, and short-legged race.

Twain Mark


A sequel is an admission that you've been reduced to imitating yourself.

Twain Mark


Every why hath a wherefore.

Twain Mark


The [Ford Foundation] is a large body of money completely surrounded by people who want some.

Twain Mark


Now it is such a bizarrely improbable coincidence that anything so mind- bogglingly useful could have evolved purely by chance that some thinkers have chosen to see it as a final and clinching proof of the non-existence of God. The argument follows:

Twain Mark


One of my less pleasant chores when I was young was to read the Bible from one end to the other. Reading the Bible straight through is at least 70 percent discipline, like learning Latin. But the good parts are, of course, simply amazing. God is a

Twain Mark


Prosperity makes friends, adversity tries them.

Twain Mark


Knowledge is power.

Twain Mark


So you think that money is the root of all evil. Have you ever asked what is the root of money?

Twain Mark


Only that in you which is me can hear what I'm saying.

Twain Mark


To every Ph.D. there is an equal and opposite Ph.D.

Twain Mark


If you have to ask what jazz is, you'll never know.

Twain Mark


The only problem with seeing too much is that it makes you insane.

Twain Mark


By protracting life, we do not deduct one jot from the duration of death.

Twain Mark


It is bad luck to be superstitious.

Twain Mark


It is wise to keep in mind that neither success nor failure is ever final.

Twain Mark


I can't understand why a person will take a year or two to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars.

Twain Mark


Prisons are built with stones of Law, brothels with bricks of Religion.

Twain Mark


Advertising is a valuable economic factor because it is the cheapest way of selling goods, particularly if the goods are worthless.

Twain Mark


France is a country where the money falls apart and you can't tear the toilet paper.

Twain Mark


This novel is not to be tossed lightly aside, but to be hurled with great force.

Twain Mark


I'm always looking for a new idea that will be more productive than its cost.

Twain Mark


Something's rotten in the state of Denmark.

Twain Mark


Forgive and forget.

Twain Mark


Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing at the moment.

Twain Mark


Money doesn't talk, it swears.

Twain Mark


No group of professionals meets except to conspire against the public at large.

Twain Mark


You never have to change anything you got up in the middle of the night to write.

Twain Mark


Have the courage to take your own thoughts seriously, for they will shape you.

Twain Mark


God was satisfied with his own work, and that is fatal.

Twain Mark


Si jeunesse savait, si vieillesse pouvait. [If youth but knew, if old age but could.]

Twain Mark


Too many people are thinking of security instead of opportunity. They seem more afraid of life than death.

Twain Mark


Diary of a Young Girl LITE(tm)

Twain Mark


Mirrors should reflect a little before throwing back images.

Twain Mark


He played the king as if afraid someone else would play the ace.

Twain Mark


I don't know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.

Twain Mark


The most common given name in the world is Mohammad; the most common family name in the world is Chang. Can you imagine the enormous number of people in the world named Mohammad Chang?

Twain Mark


It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle if it is lightly greased.

Twain Mark


Tip the world over on its side and everything loose will land in Los Angeles.

Twain Mark


"You boys lookin' for trouble?" "Sure. Whaddya got?"

Twain Mark


Why be a man when you can be a success?

Twain Mark


Even the clearest and most perfect circumstantial evidence is likely to be at fault, after all, and therefore ought to be received with great caution. Take the case of any pencil, sharpened by any woman; if you have witnesses, you will find she did

Twain Mark


When one burns one's bridges, what a very nice fire it makes.

Twain Mark


Plots are like girdles. Hidden, they hold your interest; revealed, they're of no interest except to fetishists. Like girdles, they attempt to contain an uncontainable experience.

Twain Mark


"MOKE DAT YIGARETTE"

Twain Mark


I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark.

Twain Mark


The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and the lightning bug.

Twain Mark


We'll be recording at the Paradise Friday night. Live, on the Death label.

Twain Mark


Or you or I must yield up his life to Ahrimanes. I would rather it were you. I should have no hesitation in sacrificing my own life to spare yours, but we take stock next week, and it would not be fair on the company.

Twain Mark


Every young man should have a hobby: learning how to handle money is the best one.

Twain Mark


In dwelling, be close to the land. In meditation, delve deep into the heart. In dealing with others, be gentle and kind. In speech, be true. In work, be competent. In action, be careful of your timing.

Twain Mark


The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence.

Twain Mark


Of all possible committee reactions to any given agenda item, the reaction that will occur is the one which will liberate the greatest amount of hot air.

Twain Mark


A man is known by the company he organizes.

Twain Mark


In case of fire, stand in the hall and shout "Fire!"

Twain Mark


Bullwinkle: You just leave that to my pal. He's the brains of the outfit. General: What does that make YOU? Bullwinkle: What else? An executive.

Twain Mark


We were so poor we couldn't afford a watchdog. If we heard a noise at night, we'd bark ourselves.

Twain Mark


Never tell people how to do things. Tell them WHAT to do and they will surprise you with their ingenuity.

Twain Mark


In the plot, people came to the land; the land loved them; they worked and struggled and had lots of children. There was a Frenchman who talked funny and a greenhorn from England who was a fancy-pants but when it came to the crunch he was all courag

Twain Mark


Training is everything. The peach was once a bitter almond; cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.

Twain Mark


For there are moments when one can neither think nor feel. And if one can neither think nor feel, she thought, where is one?

Twain Mark


Grief can take care of itself; but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with.

Twain Mark


It is a lesson which all history teaches wise men, to put trust in ideas, and not in circumstances.

Twain Mark


It's not a sin not to be Irish, but it is a great shame.

Twain Mark


I reverently believe that the maker who made us all makes everything in New England, but the weather. I don't know who makes that, but I think it must be raw apprentices in the weather-clerks factory who experiment and learn how, in New England, fo

Twain Mark


It is Mr. Mellon's credo that $200,000,000 can do no wrong. Our offense consists in doubting it.

Twain Mark


There is no doubt that my lawyer is honest. For example, when he filed his income tax return last year, he declared half of his salary as 'unearned income.'

Twain Mark


The only alliance I would make with the Women's Liberation Movement is in bed.

Twain Mark


Like, if I'm not for me, then fer shure, like who will be? And if, y'know, if I'm not like fer anyone else, then hey, I mean, what am I? And if not now, like I dunno, maybe like when? And if not Who, then I dunno, maybe like the Rolling Stones?

Twain Mark


What does not destroy me, makes me stronger.

Tweed Boss


Hating the Yankees is as American as pizza pie, unwed mothers and cheating on your income tax.

Tyger Frank


If reporters don't know that truth is plural, they ought to be lawyers.

Tyroon Henry


It's all right letting yourself go as long as you can let yourself back.

Tzu Chuang


"Jesus saves...but Gretzky gets the rebound!"

Tzu Chuang


Armenians and Azerbaijanis in Stepanakert, capital of the Nagorno-Karabakh autonomous region, rioted over much needed spelling reform in the Soviet Union.

them! it only encourages


The truth is rarely pure, and never simple.

they' and he points an imaginary gun to this head and pulls the trigger. The old man goes home and his wife says "So aaaaaaaaaaaaaa





Random Quote


Even the clearest and most perfect circumstantial evidence is likely to be at fault, after all, and therefore ought to be received with great caution. Take the case of any pencil, sharpened by any woman; if you have witnesses, you will find she did
Twain Mark

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