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Gratitude and treachery are merely the two extremities of the same procession. You have seen all of it that is worth staying for when the band and the gaudy officials have gone by.

T.S. Eliot


Feminists say 60 percent of the country's wealth is in the hands of women. They're letting men hold the other 40 percent because their handbags are full.

Tacitus


Who dat who say "who dat" when I say "who dat"?

Tacitus


No house should ever be on any hill or on anything. It should be of the hill, belonging to it.

Talleyrand Charles-Maurice De


In a country where the sole employer is the State, opposition means death by slow starvation. The old principle: Who does not work shall not eat, has been replaced by a new one: Who does not obey shall not eat.

Tao Te Ching


Out of sight is out of mind.

Tarkin Governor


(1) Avoid fried meats which angry up the blood. (2) If your stomach antagonizes you, pacify it with cool thoughts. (3) Keep the juices flowing by jangling around gently as you move. (4) Go very lightly on the vices, such as carrying on in society, as

Tarkington Booth


Ed Sullivan will be around as long as someone else has talent.

Tarsus Paul of


They also serve who only stand and wait.

Taylor Elizabeth


Blessed are they that have nothing to say, and who cannot be persuaded to say it.

Technology Aviation Week and Space


It were not best that we should all think alike; it is difference of opinion that makes horse-races.

Temple Shirley


True to our past we work with an inherited, observed, and accepted vision of personal futility, and of the beauty of the world.

Tennant Harry


"No job too big; no fee too big!"

Terry Pratchett


Crucifixes are sexy because there's a naked man on them.

Terry Pratchett


The scum also rises.

Texa J. Frank Dobie


I was in accord with the system so long as it permitted me to function effectively.

Thatcher Margaret


What a bonanza! An unknown beginner to be directed by Lubitsch, in a script by Wilder and Brackett, and to play with Paramount's two superstars, Gary Cooper and Claudette Colbert, and to be beaten up by both of them!

The Outer Limits


The only thing that stops God from sending a second Flood is that the first one was useless.

The Squirrels


Never promise more than you can perform.

Theophrastus


A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.

Thomas Dylan


It shall be unlawful for any suspicious person to be within the municipality.

Thomas Dylan


The world has many unintentionally cruel mechanisms that are not designed for people who walk on their hands.

Thomas J. Parnell


A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.

Thomas Marlo


Passionate hatred can give meaning and purpose to an empty life.

Thomas Marlo


Television is a medium because anything well done is rare.

Thomas Norman


You've always made the mistake of being yourself.

Thomas Carlyle


The salary of the chief executive of the large corporation is not a market award for achievement. It is frequently in the nature of a warm personal gesture by the individual to himself.

Thomas Dave


Yes, I've now got this nice little apartment in New York, one of those L-shaped ones. Unfortunately, it's a lower case l.

Thomas De Quincey


Sure there are dishonest men in local government. But there are dishonest men in national government too.

Thomas De Quincey


You first have to decide whether to use the short or the long form. The short form is what the Internal Revenue Service calls "simplified", which means it is designed for people who need the help of a Sears tax-preparation expert to distinguish betwe

Thomas De Quincey


Generally speaking, the Way of the warrior is resolute acceptance of death.

Thomas Jefferson


The avocation of assessing the failures of better men can be turned into a comfortable livelihood, providing you back it up with a Ph.D.

Thomas King


The difference between sentiment and being sentimental is the following: Sentiment is when a driver swerves out of the way to avoid hitting a rabbit on the road. Being sentimental is when the same driver, when swerving away from the rabbit hits a pe

Thomas Macaulay


The Public is merely a multiplied "me."

Thomas W. Lamont


The goys have proven the following theorem...

Thompson Dr. Hunter S.


The divinity of Jesus is made a convenient cover for absurdity. Nowhere in the Gospels do we find a precept for Creeds, Confessions, Oaths, Doctrines, and whole carloads of other foolish trumpery that we find in Christianity.

Thompson Dr. Hunter S.


Once I belonged to a group that really had THE WORD. I fought like hell for them. But another group came along and exposed the word of my group as shallow and degenerate. They had a better word. So I quit the first group and lost all the friends

Thompson H.S.


I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to.

Thompson Hunter S.


If you have to ask what jazz is, you'll never know.

Thompson Hunter S.


Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it.

Thompson Ken


It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether II win or lose.

Thore Henry David


Zounds! I was never so bethumped with words since I first called my brother's father dad.

Thoreau


Traveling through hyperspace isn't like dusting crops, boy.

Thoreau H.D.


You can't start worrying about what's going to happen. You get spastic enough worrying about what's happening now.

Thoreau Henry David


Art is a jealous mistress.

Thoreau Henry David


When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.

Thoreau Henry David


You can't run away forever, But there's nothing wrong with getting a good head start.

Thoreau Henry David


For thee the wonder-working earth puts forth sweet flowers.

Thoreau Henry David


Dying is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down.

Thoreau Henry David


A light wife doth make a heavy husband.

Thoreau Henry David


What is the robbing of a bank compared to the founding of a bank?

Thoreau Henry David


Many a bum show has been saved by the flag.

Thoreau David Henry


I'm never through with a girl until I've had her three ways.

Thurber James


A citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, but won't cross the street to vote in a national election.

Thurber James


He that composes himself is wiser than he that composes a book.

Thurber James


His followers called him Mahasamatman and said he was a god. He preferred to drop the Maha- and the -atman, however, and called himself Sam. He never claimed to be a god. But then, he never claimed not to be a god. Circum- stances being what they

Thurber James


"Somewhere", said Father Vittorini, "did Blake not speak of the Machineries of Joy? That is, did not God promote environments, then intimidate these Natures by provoking the existence of flesh, toy men and women, such as are we all? And thus happi

Ti Chuck Shepherd


Lack of money is the root of all evil.

Tikkanen Henrik


We know all about the habits of the ant, we know all about the habits of the bee, but we know nothing at all about the habits of the oyster. It seems almost certain that we have been choosing the wrong time for studying the oyster.

Tiselius Arne


Every why hath a wherefore.

Titus Livius


We should have a Vollyballocracy. We elect a six-pack of presidents. Each one serves until they screw up, at which point they rotate.

Tobaben


If a man has a strong faith he can indulge in the luxury of skepticism.

Tocqueville Alexis de


"Yes, that was Richard Nixon. He used to be President. When he left the White House, the Secret Service would count the silverware."

Todd Ruthven Campbell


Human kind cannot bear very much reality.

Tokugawa Shogun


Someday we'll look back on this moment and plow into a parked car.

Tolkien J. R. R.


Events are not affected, they develop.

Tolkien J. R. R.


I have already given two cousins to the war and I stand ready to sacrifice my wife's brother.

Tolkien J. R. R.


I have seen the future and it is just like the present, only longer.

Tolkien J. R. R.


Political speeches are like steer horns. A point here, a point there, and a lot of bull inbetween.

Tolkien J.R.R.


Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.

Tolkien J.R.R.


One of my favorite jokes, a telling commentary on Jewish mothers' capacity to lay on guilt, involves the mother who gave her son two neckties on Chanuka. The boy hurried into his bedroom, ripped off the tie he was wearing, put on one of the ties his

Tolkien J.R.R.


He who slings mud generally loses ground.

Tolkien J.R.R.


A political man can have as his aim the realization of freedom, but he has no means to realize it other than through violence.

Tolstoy


Delay not, Caesar. Read it instantly.

Tolstoy


There's no justice in this world.

Tolstoy


If the weather is extremely bad, church attendance will be down. If the weather is extremely good, church attendance will be down. If the bulletin covers are in short supply, however, church attendance will exceed all expectations.

Tolstoy


I ain't got no quarrel with them Viet Congs.

Tolstoy Leo


He didn't run for reelection. "Politics brings you into contact with all the people you'd give anything to avoid," he said. "I'm staying home."

Tomash Erwin


There are no great men, buster. There are only men.

Tomlin Lily


"Taxes should hurt. I just mailed my own tax return last night and I am prepared to say `ouch!' as loud as anyone."

Tomlin Lily


When you are at Rome live in the Roman style; when you are elsewhere live as they live elsewhere.

Tomlin Lily


"Rembrandt's first name was Beauregard, which is why he never used it."

Tomlin Lily


The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.

Tomlin Lily


The lovely woman-child Kaa was mercilessly chained to the cruel post of the warrior-chief Beast, with his barbarian tribe now stacking wood at her nubile feet, when the strong clear voice of the poetic and heroic Handsomas roared, 'Flick your Bic, cr

Tomlin Lily


Corrupt, stupid grasping functionaries will make at least as big a muddle of socialism as stupid, selfish and acquisitive employers can make of capitalism.

Tomlin Lily


"Life would be much simpler and things would get done much faster if it weren't for other people"

Tourbillon


If you live in New York, even if you're Catholic, you're Jewish.

Toynbee Arnold Joseph


I used to be disgusted, now I find I'm just amused.

Tr Leon


Immature poets imitate, mature poets steal.

Trend Motor


Examinations are formidable even to the best prepared, for even the greatest fool may ask more the the wisest man can answer.

Trend Motor


If you're like most homeowners, you're afraid that many repairs around your home are too difficult to tackle. So, when your furnace explodes, you call in a so-called professional to fix it. The "professional" arrives in a truck with lettering on t

Trend Motor


The early bird who catches the worm works for someone who comes in late and owns the worm farm.

Trillin Calvin


The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence.

Trilling Lionel


A writer is congenitally unable to tell the truth and that is why we call what he writes fiction.

Trotsky


If a shameless woman expects to be defiled and then dies of her fierce love because you do not consent, will chastity also be homicide?

Trudeau P.E.


"We maintain that the very foundation of our way of life is what we call free enterprise," said Cash McCall, "but when one of our citizens show enough free enterprise to pile up a little of that profit, we do our best to make him feel that he ought t

Truman Harry


One hundred women are not worth a single testicle.

Truman Harry


Even if you persuade me, you won't persuade me.

Truman Harry S.


Unprovided with original learning, unformed in the habits of thinking, unskilled in the arts of composition, I resolved to write a book.

Truman Harry S.


Sometimes I get the feeling that I went to a party on Perry Lane in 1962, and the party spilled out of the house, and came down the street, and covered the world.

Truman Harry S.


I'd like to see the government get out of war altogether and leave the whole field to private industry.

Truman Harry S.


Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.

Truman President Harry S.


What passes for optimism is most often the effect of an intellectual error.

Tsu Lao


Truly great madness can not be achieved without significant intelligence.

Tsu Lao


There's nothing in the middle of the road but yellow stripes and dead armadillos.

Tsu Lao


Humans are communications junkies. We just can't get enough.

Tsu Lao


Anybody that wants the presidency so much that he'll spend two years organising and campaigning for it is not to be trusted with the office.

Tsu Lao


The superior man understands what is right; the inferior man understands what will sell.

Tsu Lao


A team effort is a lot of people doing what I say.

Tsu Lao


One good turn deserves another.

Tsu Lao


Don't steal; thou'lt never thus compete successfully in business. Cheat.

Tsu Lao


It's easier to be a liberal a long way from home.

Tsu Lao


Whatever occurs from love is always beyond good and evil.

Tsu Lao


Law enforcement officers should use only the minimum force necessary in dealing with disorders when they arise.

Tsu Lao


Another day, another dollar.

Tsu Lao


A good question is never answered. It is not a bolt to be tightened into place but a seed to be planted and to bear more seed toward the hope of greening the landscape of idea.

Tsu Lao


Nothing will dispel enthusiasm like a small admission fee.

Tuc The mayor of


It is easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them.

Turgenev


Any stone in your boot always migrates against the pressure gradient to exactly the point of most pressure.

Turner Ted


Tom Hayden is the kind of politician who gives opportunism a bad name.

Turner Ted


If Karl, instead of writing a lot about Capital, had made a lot of Capital, it would have been much better.

Tusser Thomas


Getting into trouble is easy.

Tusser Thomas


You never have to change anything you got up in the middle of the night to write.

Twain Mark


Force has no place where there is need of skill.

Twain Mark


The `loner' may be respected, but he is always resented by his colleagues, for he seems to be passing a critical judgment on them, when he may be simply making a limiting statement about himself.

Twain Mark


Someone did a study of the three most-often-heard phrases in New York City. One is "Hey, taxi." Two is, "What train do I take to get to Bloomingdale's?" And three is, "Don't worry. It's just a flesh wound."

Twain Mark


I may not be totally perfect, but parts of me are excellent.

Twain Mark


The surest protection against temptation is cowardice.

Twain Mark


When you're in command, command.

Twain Mark


You can observe a lot just by watching.

Twain Mark


We are all so much together and yet we are all dying of loneliness.

Twain Mark


I see where we are starting to pay some attention to our neigbors to the south. We could never understand why Mexico wasn't just crazy about us; for we have always had their good will, and oil and minerals, at heart.

Twain Mark


Why does a hearse horse snicker, hauling a lawyer away?

Twain Mark


The dirty work at political conventions is almost always done in the grim hours between midnight and dawn. Hangmen and politicians work best when the human spirit is at its lowest ebb.

Twain Mark


No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.

Twain Mark


The Worst Musical Trio There are few bad musicians who have a chance to give a recital at a famous concert hall while still learning the rudiments of their instrument. This happened about thirty years ago to the son of a Rumanian gentleman who was

Twain Mark


"All snakes who wish to remain in Ireland will please raise their right hands."

Twain Mark


Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.

Twain Mark


I often quote myself; it adds spice to my conversation.

Twain Mark


Use an accordion. Go to jail.

Twain Mark


Alexander Hamilton started the U.S. Treasury with nothing - and that was the closest our country has ever been to being even.

Twain Mark


"Avoid revolution or expect to get shot. Mother and I will grieve, but we will gladly buy a dinner for the National Guardsman who shot you."

Twain Mark


No one born with a mouth and a need is "innocent".

Twain Mark


A commune is where people join together to share their lack of wealth.

Twain Mark


Once, I read that a man be never stronger than when he truly realizes how weak he is.

Twain Mark


Therefore it is necessary to learn how not to be good, and to use this knowledge and not use it, according to the necessity of the cause.

Twain Mark


Nobody shot me.

Twain Mark


Mother is far too clever to understand anything she does not like.

Twain Mark


Writing is easy; all you do is sit staring at the blank sheet of paper until drops of blood form on your forehead.

Twain Mark


Young men think old men are fools; but old men know young men are fools.

Twain Mark


The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.

Twain Mark


There is an old time toast which is golden for its beauty. "When you ascend the hill of prosperity may you not meet a friend."

Twain Mark


I am convinced that the truest act of courage is to sacrifice ourselves for others in a totally nonviolent struggle for justice. To be a man is to suffer for others.

Twain Mark


A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.

Twain Mark


There is a certain impertinence in allowing oneself to be burned for an opinion.

Twain Mark


TO THOSE OF YOU WHO DESIRE IT, I GRANT YOU MADRAK'S BLESSING: Insofar as I may be heard by anything, which may or may not care what I say, I ask, if it matters, that you be forgiven for anything you may have done or failed to do which requires for

Twain Mark


Rebellion lay in his way, and he found it.

Twain Mark


The world wants to be deceived.

Twain Mark


No one regards what is before his feet; we all gaze at the stars.

Twain Mark


If your happiness depends on what somebody else does, I guess you do have a problem.

Twain Mark


Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice. In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians called it "Christmas" and went to

Twain Mark


If you only have a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail.

Twain Mark


Fay: The British police force used to be run by men of integrity. Truscott: That is a mistake which has been rectified.

Twain Mark


"I am not sure what this is, but an `F' would only dignify it."

Twain Mark


Then, gently touching my face, she hesitated for a moment as her incredible eyes poured forth into mine love, joy, pain, tragedy, acceptance, and peace. "'Bye for now," she said warmly.

Twain Mark


"... I should explain that I was wearing a black velvet cape that was supposed to make me look like the dashing, romantic Zorro but which actually made me look like a gigantic bat wearing glasses ..."

Twain Mark


What good is it if you talk in flowers, and they think in pastry?

Twain Mark


The politician is someone who deals in man's problems of adjustment. To ask a politician to lead us is to ask the tail of a dog to lead the dog.

Twain Mark


After the game the king and the pawn go in the same box.

Twain Mark


It is much easier to be critical than to be correct.

Twain Mark


When asked by an anthropologist what the Indians called America before the white men came, an Indian said simply "Ours."

Twain Mark


The hatred of relatives is the most violent.

Twain Mark


They spell it "da Vinci" and pronounce it "da Vinchy". Foreigners always spell better than they pronounce.

Twain Mark


A free society is one where it is safe to be unpopular.

Twain Mark


You can no more win a war than you can win an earthquake.

Twain Mark


English literature's performing flea.

Twain Mark


A fake fortuneteller can be tolerated. But an authentic soothsayer should be shot on sight. Cassandra did not get half the kicking around she deserved.

Twain Mark


It is exactly because a man cannot do a thing that he is a proper judge of it.

Twain Mark


The rights and interests of the laboring man will be protected and cared for not by our labor agitators, but by the Christian men to whom God in his infinite wisdom has given control of property interests of the country, and upon the successful manag

Twain Mark


Anything anybody can say about America is true.

Twain Mark


What you want, what you're hanging around in the world waiting for, is for something to occur to you.

Twain Mark


I knew one thing: as soon as anyone said you didn't need a gun, you'd better take one along that worked.

Twain Mark


Not to laugh, not to lament, not to curse, but to understand.

Twain Mark


I go on working for the same reason a hen goes on laying eggs.

Twain Mark


The reward of a thing well done is to have done it.

Twain Mark


... but as records of courts and justice are admissible, it can easily be proved that powerful and malevolent magicians once existed and were a scourge to mankind. The evidence (including confession) upon which certain women were convicted of witch

Twain Mark


Let me assure you that to us here at First National, you're not just a number. Youre two numbers, a dash, three more numbers, another dash and another number.

Twain Mark


There is no doubt that my lawyer is honest. For example, when he filed his income tax return last year, he declared half of his salary as 'unearned income.'

Twain Mark


Those who do things in a noble spirit of self-sacrifice are to be avoided at all costs.

Twain Mark


Yevtushenko has... an ego that can crack crystal at a distance of twenty feet.

Twain Mark


Be careful of reading health books, you might die of a misprint.

Twain Mark


A dead man cannot bite.

Twain Mark


A businessman is a hybrid of a dancer and a calculator.

Twain Mark


Big book, big bore.

Twain Mark


In charity there is no excess.

Twain Mark


It takes all kinds to fill the freeways.

Twain Mark


He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others.

Twain Mark


Once he had one leg in the White House and the nation trembled under his roars. Now he is a tinpot pope in the Coca-Cola belt and a brother to the forlorn pastors who belabor halfwits in galvanized iron tabernacles behind the railroad yards."

Twain Mark


You can't underestimate the power of fear.

Twain Mark


Let's remind ourselves that last year's fresh idea is today's cliche.

Twain Mark


I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph.

Twain Mark


Patience is a minor form of despair, disguised as virtue.

Twain Mark


You or I must yield up his life to Ahrimanes. I would rather it were you. I should have no hesitation in sacrificing my own life to spare yours, but we take stock next week, and it would not be fair on the company.

Twain Mark


The fact that it works is immaterial.

Twain Mark


A new taste had been acquired and a new appetite began to grow. The time had long since arrived to crush the technical intelligentsia, which had come to regard itself as too irreplaceable and had not gotten used to catching instructions on the wing.

Twain Mark


You have to run as fast as you can just to stay where you are. If you want to get anywhere, you'll have to run much faster.

Tweed Boss


What we need in this country, instead of Daylight Savings Time, which nobody really understands anyway, is a new concept called Weekday Morning Time, whereby at 7 a.m. every weekday we go into a space-launch-style "hold" for two to three hours, durin

Tyger Frank


When the President does it, that means it is not illegal.

Tyroon Henry


Coincidences are spiritual puns.

Tzu Chuang


It is not enough that I should succeed. Others must fail.

Tzu Chuang


It doesn't matter whether you win or lose

them! it only encourages


People love high ideals, but they got to be about 33-percent plausible.

they' and he points an imaginary gun to this head and pulls the trigger. The old man goes home and his wife says "So aaaaaaaaaaaaaa





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Speak softly and own a big, mean Doberman.
Millman Dave

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