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The politician is someone who deals in man's problems of adjustment. To ask a politician to lead us is to ask the tail of a dog to lead the dog.

T.S. Eliot


What we need in this country, instead of Daylight Savings Time, which nobody really understands anyway, is a new concept called Weekday Morning Time, whereby at 7 a.m. every weekday we go into a space-launch-style "hold" for two to three hours, durin

Tacitus


"There is a God, but He drinks"

Tacitus


Lord, what fools these mortals be!

Talleyrand Charles-Maurice De


Patience is the best remedy for every trouble.

Tao Te Ching


A diplomat is a person who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

Tarkin Governor


Peace cannot be kept by force; it can only be achieved by understanding.

Tarkington Booth


It took me fifteen years to discover that I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by that time I was too famous.

Tarsus Paul of


Eighteen goddess-like daughters are not equal to one son with a hump.

Taylor Elizabeth


Of all possible committee reactions to any given agenda item, the reaction that will occur is the one which will liberate the greatest amount of hot air.

Technology Aviation Week and Space


He has not acquired a fortune; the fortune has acquired him.

Temple Shirley


I'm never through with a girl until I've had her three ways.

Tennant Harry


The last thing one knows in constructing a work is what to put first.

Terry Pratchett


Anyone can hold the helm when the sea is calm.

Terry Pratchett


Delores breezed along the surface of her life like a flat stone forever skipping along smooth water, rippling reality sporadically but oblivious to it consistently, until she finally lost momentum, sank, and due to an overdose of flouride as a child

Texa J. Frank Dobie


The true way goes over a rope which is not stretched at any great height but just above the ground. It seems more designed to make people stumble than to be walked upon.

Thatcher Margaret


I've touch'd the highest point of all my greatness; And from that full meridian of my glory I haste now to my setting. I shall fall, Like a bright exhalation in the evening And no man see me more.

The Outer Limits


Let me take you a button-hole lower.

The Squirrels


My band career ended late in my senior year when John Cooper and I threw my amplifier out the dormitory window. We did not act in haste. First we checked to make sure the amplifier would fit through the frame, using the belt from my bathrobe to meas

Theophrastus


Vice-President Hubert Humphrey's loquacity is legendary, and Barry Goldwater notes that "Hubert has been clocked at 275 words a minute with gusts up to 340." On the campaign trail during 1964, Republican nominee Barry Goldwater stated, "The imme

Thomas Dylan


The capacity of human beings to bore one another seems to be vastly greater than that of any other animals. Some of their most esteemed inventions have no other apparent purpose, for example, the dinner party of more than two, the epic poem, and the

Thomas Dylan


I know on which side my bread is buttered.

Thomas J. Parnell


All hope abandon, ye who enter here!

Thomas Marlo


If God lived on Earth, people would knock out all His windows.

Thomas Marlo


The tree in which the sap is stagnant remains fruitless.

Thomas Norman


If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.

Thomas Carlyle


Maternity pay? Now every Tom, Dick and Harry will get pregnant.

Thomas Dave


In Pierre Trudeau, Canada has finally produced a Prime Minister worthy of assassination.

Thomas De Quincey


The trouble with opportunity is that it always comes disguised as hard work.

Thomas De Quincey


If you hype something and it succeeds, you're a genius

Thomas De Quincey


When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President. Now I'm beginning to believe it.

Thomas Jefferson


Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid.

Thomas King


Armenians and Azerbaijanis in Stepanakert, capital of the Nagorno-Karabakh autonomous region, rioted over much needed spelling reform in the Soviet Union.

Thomas Macaulay


Standards are different for all things, so the standard set by man is by no means the only 'certain' standard. If you mistake what is relative for something certain, you have strayed far from the ultimate truth.

Thomas W. Lamont


Always the dullness of the fool is the whetstone of the wits.

Thompson Dr. Hunter S.


There has been a little distress selling on the stock exchange.

Thompson Dr. Hunter S.


Law stands mute in the midst of arms.

Thompson H.S.


How can you prove whether at this moment we are sleeping, and all our thoughts are a dream; or whether we are awake, and talking to one another in the waking state?

Thompson Hunter S.


Never laugh at live dragons.

Thompson Hunter S.


Hark ye, Clinker, you are a most notorious offender. You stand convicted of sickness, hunger, wretchedness, and want.

Thompson Ken


You're all clear now, kid. Now blow this thing so we can all go home.

Thore Henry David


If you want to understand your government, don't begin by reading the Constitution. It conveys precious little of the flavor of today's statecraft. Instead, read selected portions of the Washington telephone directory containing listings for all th

Thoreau


The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.

Thoreau H.D.


It is impossible to enjoy idling thoroughly unless one has plenty of work to do.

Thoreau Henry David


Why be a man when you can be a success?

Thoreau Henry David


Between 1950 and 1952, a bored weatherman, stationed north of Hudson Bay, left a monument that neither government nor time can eradicate. Using a bulldozer abandoned by the Air Force, he spent two years and great effort pushing boulders into a single

Thoreau Henry David


Don't everyone thank me at once!

Thoreau Henry David


We were young and our happiness dazzled us with its strength. But there was also a terrible betrayal that lay within me like a Merle Haggard song at a French restaurant. [...] I could not tell the girl about the woman of the tollway, of her milk w

Thoreau Henry David


There are three rules for writing a novel. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are.

Thoreau Henry David


You mentioned your name as if I should recognize it, but beyond the obvious facts that you are a bachelor, a solicitor, a freemason, and an asthmatic, I know nothing whatever about you.

Thoreau Henry David


Diplomacy is the art of letting the other party have things your way.

Thoreau Henry David


Every word is like an unnecessary stain on silence and nothingness.

Thoreau David Henry


"There was an interesting development in the CBS-Westmoreland trial: both sides agreed that after the trial, Andy Rooney would be allowed to talk to the jury for three minutes about little things that annoyed him during the trial."

Thurber James


War spares not the brave, but the cowardly.

Thurber James


If you live long enough, you'll see that every victory turns into a defeat.

Thurber James


According to the Rand McNally Places-Rated Almanac, the best place to live in America is the city of Pittsburgh. The city of New York came in twenty-fifth. Here in New York we really don't care too much. Because we know that we could beat up their

Thurber James


Hain't we got all the fools in town on our side? And hain't that a big enough majority in any town?

Ti Chuck Shepherd


If the Nazis had television with satellite technology, we'd all be goose-stepping. Americans are just as suggestible.

Tikkanen Henrik


Were there no women, men might live like gods.

Tiselius Arne


Plus ,ca change, plus c'est la m^eme chose. [The more things change, the more they remain the same.]

Titus Livius


A light wife doth make a heavy husband.

Tobaben


Briefly stated, the findings are that when presented with an array of data or a sequence of events in which they are instructed to discover an underlying order, subjects show strong tendencies to perceive order and causality in random arrays, to perc

Tocqueville Alexis de


Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre, but they are more deadly in the long run.

Todd Ruthven Campbell


Another such victory over the Romans, and we are undone.

Tokugawa Shogun


It is better to have loved and lost

Tolkien J. R. R.


Who does not trust enough will not be trusted.

Tolkien J. R. R.


The faster we go, the rounder we get.

Tolkien J. R. R.


New Jersey is not the armpit of the nation; it's the asshole of the universe.

Tolkien J. R. R.


When democracy granted democratic methods to us in times of opposition, this was bound to happen in a democratic system. However, we National Socialists never asserted that we represented a democratic point of view, but we have declared openly that

Tolkien J.R.R.


Gauls! We have nothing to fear; except perhaps that the sky may fall on our heads tomorrow. But as we all know, tomorrow never comes!!

Tolkien J.R.R.


A beginning is the time for taking the most delicate care that balances are correct.

Tolkien J.R.R.


I don't see what's wrong with giving Bobby a little experience before he starts to practice law.

Tolkien J.R.R.


"What are you watching?" "I don't know." "Well, what's happening?" "I'm not sure... I think the guy in the hat did something terrible." "Why are you watching it?" "You're so analytical. Sometimes you just have to let art flow over you."

Tolstoy


This novel is not to be tossed lightly aside, but to be hurled with great force.

Tolstoy


The mark of the immature man is that he wants to die nobly for a cause, while the mark of a mature man is that he wants to live humbly for one.

Tolstoy


"Not Hercules could have knock'd out his brains, for he had none."

Tolstoy


In the first place, God made idiots; this was for practice; then he made school boards.

Tolstoy Leo


No man is an Iland, intire of it selfe; every man is a peece of the Continent, a part of the maine; if a Clod bee washed away by the Sea, Europe is the lesse, as well as if a Promontorie were, as well as if a Mannor of thy friends or of thine owne we

Tomash Erwin


During almost fifteen centuries the legal establishment of Christianity has been upon trial. What has been its fruits? More or less, in all places, pride and indolence in the clergy; ignorance and servility in the laity,; in both, superstition, bigo

Tomlin Lily


The bay-trees in our country are all wither'd And meteors fright the fixed stars of heaven; The pale-faced moon looks bloody on the earth And lean-look'd prophets whisper fearful change. These signs forerun the death or fall of kings.

Tomlin Lily


In Marseilles they make half the toilet soap we consume in America, but the Marseillaise only have a vague theoretical idea of its use, which they have obtained from books of travel.

Tomlin Lily


"You mean, if you allow the master to be uncivil, to treat you any old way he likes, and to insult your dignity, then he may deem you fit to hear his view of things?" "Quite the contrary. You must defend your integrity, assuming you have integrit

Tomlin Lily


I value kindness to human beings first of all, and kindness to animals. I don't respect the law; I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger, the food cheaper, and old men

Tomlin Lily


I went to a Grateful Dead Concert and they played for SEVEN hours. Great song.

Tomlin Lily


If I could reach, I'd never leave the house.

Tomlin Lily


Charity begins at home.

Tourbillon


Rembrandt is not to be compared in the painting of character with our extraordinarily gifted English artist, Mr. Rippingille.

Toynbee Arnold Joseph


Honesty pays, but it doesn't seem to pay enough to suit some people.

Tr Leon


Nothing is so firmly believed as that which we least know.

Trend Motor


"It was a Roman who said it was sweet to die for one's country. The Greeks never said it was sweet to die for anything. They had no vital lies."

Trend Motor


Habit is habit, and not to be flung out of the window by any man, but coaxed down-stairs a step at a time.

Trend Motor


Column 1 Column 2 Column 3 0. integrated 0. management 0. options 1. total 1. organizational 1. flexibility 2. systematized 2. monitored 2. capability 3. parallel 3. reciprocal 3. mobility 4. functional 4. digital 4. programming 5. re

Trillin Calvin


I am not a politician and my other habits are also good.

Trilling Lionel


He who writes with no misspelled words has prevented a first suspicion on the limits of his scholarship or, in the social world, of his general education and culture.

Trotsky


In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes.

Trudeau P.E.


The world has many unintentionally cruel mechanisms that are not designed for people who walk on their hands.

Truman Harry


Bullwinkle: You just leave that to my pal. He's the brains of the outfit. General: What does that make YOU? Bullwinkle: What else? An executive.

Truman Harry


Living in LA is like not having a date on Saturday night.

Truman Harry S.


You can fool all the people all of the time if the advertising is right and the budget is big enough.

Truman Harry S.


Roumanian-Yiddish cooking has killed more Jews than Hitler.

Truman Harry S.


If you want to get rich from writing, write the sort of thing that's read by persons who move their lips when the're reading to themselves.

Truman Harry S.


If there is a sin against life, it consists perhaps not so much in despairing of life as in hoping for another life and in eluding the implacable grandeur of this life.

Truman President Harry S.


[The members of the Chamberlain government] are decided only to be undecided, resolved to be irresolute, adamant for drift, all-powerful for impotency.

Tsu Lao


Nitwit ideas are for emergencies. You use them when you've got nothing else to try. If they work, they go in the Book. Otherwise you follow the Book, which is largely a collection of nitwit ideas that worked.

Tsu Lao


If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library?

Tsu Lao


Divorce is a game played by lawyers.

Tsu Lao


Ben, why didn't you tell me?

Tsu Lao


Such evil deeds could religion prompt.

Tsu Lao


A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain.

Tsu Lao


Democracy becomes a government of bullies, tempered by editors.

Tsu Lao


The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings; the inherent virtue of socialism is the equal sharing of misery.

Tsu Lao


If I cannot bend Heaven, I shall move Hell.

Tsu Lao


Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.

Tsu Lao


A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step.

Tsu Lao


You have all the characteristics of a popular politician: a horrible voice, bad breeding, and a vulgar manner.

Tsu Lao


Remember folks. Street lights timed for 35 mph are also timed for 70 mph.

Tsu Lao


The right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be taken seriously.

Tuc The mayor of


Better the prince of some inferior court, Than second, or less, in beatific light.

Turgenev


The trouble with the rat-race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.

Turner Ted


WE'RE GOING TO THROW THE MX AWAY AFTER WE BUILD IT. The MX is really [Don't tell anybody!] just a "bargaining chip" in the nuclear-arms- reduction talks with the Russians. See, we have a problem with the Russians. They look at our leaders and they

Turner Ted


If ever the pleasure of one has to be bought by the pain of the other, there better be no trade. A trade by which one gains and the other loses is a fraud.

Tusser Thomas


Feminists say 60 percent of the country's wealth is in the hands of women. They're letting men hold the other 40 percent because their handbags are full.

Tusser Thomas


A classic is something that everyone wants to have read and nobody wants to read.

Twain Mark


Seeing that death, a necessary end, Will come when it will come.

Twain Mark


The language of politics is poetry, not prose. Jackson is poetry. Cuomo is poetry. Dukakis is a word processor.

Twain Mark


Philosophy will clip an angel's wings.

Twain Mark


Fortune Documents the Great Legal Decisions: We think that we may take judicial notice of the fact that the term "bitch" may imply some feeling of endearment when applied to a female of the canine species but that it is seldom, if ever, so used whe

Twain Mark


For every bloke who makes his mark, there's half a dozen waiting to rub it out.

Twain Mark


He didn't run for reelection. "Politics brings you into contact with all the people you'd give anything to avoid," he said. "I'm staying home."

Twain Mark


I shall give a propagandist reason for starting the war, no matter whether it is plausible or not. The victor will not be asked afterwards whether he told the truth or not. When starting and waging war it is not right that matters, but victory.

Twain Mark


Prosperity makes friends, adversity tries them.

Twain Mark


The time spent on any item of the agenda [of a finance committee] will be in inverse proportion to the sum involved.

Twain Mark


"I'm dying," he croaked. "My experiment was a success," the chemist retorted . "You can't really train a beagle," he dogmatized. "That's no beagle, it's a mongrel," she muttered. "The fire is going out," he bellowed. "Bad marksmanship," the h

Twain Mark


It is annoying to be honest to no purpose.

Twain Mark


Nothing matters very much, and few things matter at all.

Twain Mark


Doctors and lawyers must go to school for years and years, often with little sleep and with great sacrifice to their first wives.

Twain Mark


The day will come when the mystical generation of Jesus, by the Supreme Being as his Father, in the womb of a virgin will be classified with the fable of the generation of Minerva in the brain of Jupiter. But we may hope that the dawn of reason and

Twain Mark


Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.

Twain Mark


... before I could come to any conclusion it occurred to me that my speech or my silence, indeed any action of mine, would be a mere futility. What did it matter what anyone knew or ignored? What did it matter who was manager? One gets sometimes s

Twain Mark


"There is no Father Christmas. It's just a marketing ploy to make low income parents' lives a misery." "... I want you to picture the trusting face of a child, streaked with tears because of what you just said." "I want you to picture the face of

Twain Mark


Life would be tolerable but for its amusements.

Twain Mark


I trust the first lion he meets will do his duty.

Twain Mark


Life is one long struggle in the dark.

Twain Mark


What one fool can do, another can.

Twain Mark


When the sun shineth, make hay.

Twain Mark


Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.

Twain Mark


Good salesmen and good repairmen will never go hungry.

Twain Mark


Facts are the enemy of truth.

Twain Mark


And yet, seasons must be taken with a grain of salt, for they too have a sense of humor, as does history. Corn stalks comedy, comedy stalks tragedy, and this too is historic. And yet, still, when corn meets tragedy face to face, we have politics.

Twain Mark


If you laid all of our laws end to end, there would be no end.

Twain Mark


A sinking ship gathers no moss.

Twain Mark


What I tell you three times is true.

Twain Mark


Take the folks at Coca-Cola. For many years, they were content to sit back and make the same old carbonated beverage. It was a good beverage, no question about it; generations of people had grown up drinking it and doing the experiment in sixth gr

Twain Mark


There is no comfort without pain; thus we define salvation through suffering.

Twain Mark


"There was an interesting development in the CBS-Westmoreland trial: both sides agreed that after the trial, Andy Rooney would be allowed to talk to the jury for three minutes about little things that annoyed him during the trial."

Twain Mark


What makes you think graduate school is supposed to be satisfying?

Twain Mark


Exceptions prove the rule, and wreck the budget.

Twain Mark


The race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, but that's the way to bet.

Twain Mark


The use of money is all the advantage there is to having money.

Twain Mark


Political history is far too criminal a subject to be a fit thing to teach children.

Twain Mark


I ain't got no quarrel with them Viet Congs.

Twain Mark


Immigration is the sincerest form of flattery.

Twain Mark


Suffering alone exists, none who suffer; The deed there is, but no doer thereof; Nirvana is, but no one is seeking it; The Path there is, but none who travel it.

Twain Mark


I don't mind what Congress does, as long as they don't do it in the streets and frighten the horses.

Twain Mark


Nothing will ever be attempted if all possible objections must be first overcome.

Twain Mark


No house should ever be on any hill or on anything. It should be of the hill, belonging to it.

Twain Mark


Some men are heterosexual, and some are bisexual, and some men don't think about sex at all... they become lawyers.

Twain Mark


Rome was not built in one day.

Twain Mark


The only thing that stops God from sending a second Flood is that the first one was useless.

Twain Mark


We have lingered long enough on the shores of the Cosmic Ocean.

Twain Mark


[The French Riviera is] a sunny place for shady people.

Twain Mark


You cannot see the wood for the trees.

Twain Mark


All diplomacy is a continuation of war by other means.

Twain Mark


A good name lost is seldom regained. When character is gone, all is gone, and one of the richest jewels of life is lost forever.

Twain Mark


I have a dream. I have a dream that one day, on the red hills of Georgia, the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slaveowners will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood.

Twain Mark


The first sign of corruption in a society that is still alive is that the end justifies the means.

Twain Mark


The IRS spends God knows how much of your tax money on these toll-free information hot lines staffed by IRS employees, whose idea of a dynamite tax tip is that you should print neatly. If you ask them a real tax question, such as how you can cheat,

Twain Mark


Under a government which imprisons any unjustly, the true place for a just man is also a prison.

Twain Mark


An older student came to Otis and said, "I have been to see a great number of teachers and I have given up a great number of pleasures. I have fasted, been celibate and stayed awake nights seeking enlightenment. I have given up everything I was aske

Twain Mark


In a country where the sole employer is the State, opposition means death by slow starvation. The old principle: Who does not work shall not eat, has been replaced by a new one: Who does not obey shall not eat.

Twain Mark


It is Mr. Mellon's credo that $200,000,000 can do no wrong. Our offense consists in doubting it.

Twain Mark


No problem is so formidable that you can't just walk away from it.

Twain Mark


War is much too serious a matter to be entrusted to the military.

Twain Mark


Democracy is the worst form of government except all those other forms that have been tried from time to time.

Twain Mark


Illusion is the first of all pleasures.

Twain Mark


As Gen. de Gaulle occassionally acknowledges America to be the daughter of Europe, so I am pleased to come to Yale, the daughter of Harvard.

Twain Mark


Life is too short to be taken seriously.

Twain Mark


People in general do not willingly read if they have anything else to amuse them.

Twain Mark


The superpowers often behave like two heavily armed blind men feeling their way around a room, each believing himself in mortal peril from the other, whom he assumes to have perfect vision. Each tends to ascribe to the other side a consistency, fors

Twain Mark


"Consequences, Schmonsequences, as long as I'm rich."

Twain Mark


"Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company."

Twain Mark


It's very glamorous to raise millions of dollars, until it's time for the venture capitalist to suck your eyeballs out.

Twain Mark


Yesterday I was a dog. Today I'm a dog. Tomorrow I'll probably still be a dog. Sigh! There's so little hope for advancement.

Twain Mark


Why, when no honest man will deny in private that every ultimate problem is wrapped in the profoundest mystery, do honest men proclaim in pulpits that unhesitating certainty is the duty of the most foolish and ignorant? Is it not a spectacle to make

Twain Mark


The Almighty in His infinite wisdom did not see fit to create Frenchmen in the image of Englishmen.

Twain Mark


There is a certain impertinence in allowing oneself to be burned for an opinion.

Twain Mark


I have just enough white in me to make my honesty questionable.

Twain Mark


We are all worms. But I do believe I am a glowworm.

Twain Mark


"Here's the holiday schedule for Monday's observation of Martin Luther King Jr.'s birthday, when the following will be closed: * Governmental offices * Post offices * Libraries * Schools * Banks * Parts of Palm Beach and the mind of Se

Twain Mark


History is nothing but a collection of fables and useless trifles, cluttered up with a mass of unnecessary figures and proper names.

Twain Mark


For certain people, after fifty, litigation takes the place of sex.

Twain Mark


"Taxes should hurt. I just mailed my own tax return last night and I am prepared to say `ouch!' as loud as anyone."

Twain Mark


Next to being shot at and missed, nothing is really quite as satisfying as an income tax refund.

Twain Mark


In the long run we are all dead.

Twain Mark


New York now leads the world's great cities in the number of people around whom you shouldn't make a sudden move.

Twain Mark


If you live in New York, even if you're Catholic, you're Jewish.

Tweed Boss


Boston State House is the hub of the Solar System. You couldn't pry that out of a Boston man if you had the tire of all creation straightened out for a crowbar.

Tyger Frank


Education is learning what you didn't even know you didn't know.

Tyroon Henry


I always had a repulsive need to be something more than human.

Tzu Chuang


An ounce of mother is worth a ton of priest.

Tzu Chuang


Big book, big bore.

them! it only encourages


Fortune's Guide to Freshman Notetaking: WHEN THE PROFESSOR SAYS: YOU WRITE: Probably the greatest quality of the poetry John Milton

they' and he points an imaginary gun to this head and pulls the trigger. The old man goes home and his wife says "So aaaaaaaaaaaaaa





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I never did give anybody hell. I just told the truth and they thought it was hell.
Truman Harry S.

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