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Come home America.

T.S. Eliot


Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid.

Tacitus


Airplanes are interesting toys but of no military value.

Tacitus


Man is by nature a political animal.

Talleyrand Charles-Maurice De


Sherry [Thomas Sheridan] is dull, naturally dull; but it must have taken him a great deal of pains to become what we now see him. Such an excess of stupidity, sir, is not in Nature.

Tao Te Ching


If the English language made any sense, lackadaisical would have something to do with a shortage of flowers.

Tarkin Governor


Let him choose out of my files, his projects to accomplish.

Tarkington Booth


Out of sight is out of mind.

Tarsus Paul of


A Tale of Two Cities LITE(tm)

Taylor Elizabeth


Whatever it is, I fear Greeks even when they bring gifts.

Technology Aviation Week and Space


The shortest distance between two points is under construction.

Temple Shirley


Marijuana will be legal some day, because the many law students who now smoke pot will someday become congressmen and legalize it in order to protect themselves.

Tennant Harry


Alas, how love can trifle with itself!

Terry Pratchett


Many a bum show has been saved by the flag.

Terry Pratchett


Something's rotten in the state of Denmark.

Texa J. Frank Dobie


Remembering is for those who have forgotten.

Thatcher Margaret


You men out there probably think you already know how to dress for success. You know, for example, that you should not wear leisure suits or white plastic belts and shoes, unless you are going to a costume party disguised as a pig farmer vacationing

The Outer Limits


Serfs up!

The Squirrels


The average Ph.D thesis is nothing but the transference of bones from one graveyard to another.

Theophrastus


The liberals can understand everything but people who don't understand them.

Thomas Dylan


Too clever is dumb.

Thomas Dylan


For certain people, after fifty, litigation takes the place of sex.

Thomas J. Parnell


Toto, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore.

Thomas Marlo


There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about.

Thomas Marlo


The human brain is a wonderful thing. It starts working the moment you are born, and never stops until you stand up to speak in public.

Thomas Norman


I went to a Grateful Dead Concert and they played for SEVEN hours. Great song.

Thomas Carlyle


When more and more people are thrown out of work, unemployment results.

Thomas Dave


Three things have been difficult to tame: The oceans, fools, and women. We may soon be able to tame the ocean. Fools and women will take a little longer.

Thomas De Quincey


Ninety percent of everything is crap.

Thomas De Quincey


I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark.

Thomas De Quincey


... Our second completely true news item was sent to me by Mr. H. Boyce Connell Jr. of Atlanta, Ga., where he is involved in a law firm. One thing I like about the South is, folks there care about tradition. If somebody gets handed a name like "H.

Thomas Jefferson


"Nuclear war would really set back cable."

Thomas King


The only way I can lose this election is if I'm caught in bed with a dead girl or a live boy.

Thomas Macaulay


The problem with any unwritten law is that you don't know where to go to erase it.

Thomas W. Lamont


Lots of folks confuse bad management with destiny.

Thompson Dr. Hunter S.


If a man stay away from his wife for seven years, the law presumes the separation to have killed him; yet according to our daily experience, it might well prolong his life.

Thompson Dr. Hunter S.


If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.

Thompson H.S.


Nothing is more admirable than the fortitude with which millionaires tolerate the disadvantages of their wealth.

Thompson Hunter S.


The man who runs may fight again.

Thompson Hunter S.


Liberals are the first to dump you if you con them or get into trouble. Conservatives are better. They never run out on you.

Thompson Ken


Ben, why didn't you tell me?

Thore Henry David


A Polish worker walks into a bank to deposit his paycheck. He has heard about Poland's economic problems, and he asks what would happen to his money if the bank collapsed. "All of our deposits are guaranteed by the finance ministry, sir," the telle

Thoreau


Fay: The British police force used to be run by men of integrity. Truscott: That is a mistake which has been rectified.

Thoreau H.D.


The early bird who catches the worm works for someone who comes in late and owns the worm farm.

Thoreau Henry David


A woman's a woman until the day she dies, but a man's only a man as long as he can.

Thoreau Henry David


Patriotism is the virtue of the vicious.

Thoreau Henry David


Examinations are formidable even to the best prepared, for even the greatest fool may ask more the the wisest man can answer.

Thoreau Henry David


An ounce of hypocrisy is worth a pound of ambition.

Thoreau Henry David


If we spoke a different language, we would perceive a somewhat different world.

Thoreau Henry David


There's no justice in this world.

Thoreau Henry David


I just asked myself... what would John DeLorean do?

Thoreau Henry David


Imagine what we can imagine!

Thoreau David Henry


You can't underestimate the power of fear.

Thurber James


There's nothing in the middle of the road but yellow stripes and dead armadillos.

Thurber James


I have already given two cousins to the war and I stand ready to sacrifice my wife's brother.

Thurber James


In the olden days in England, you could be hung for stealing a sheep or a loaf of bread. However, if a sheep stole a loaf of bread and gave it to you, you would only be tried for receiving, a crime punishable by forty lashes with the cat or the dog,

Thurber James


In a hierarchy every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence ... in time every post tends to be occupied by an employee who is incompetent to carry out its duties ... Work is accomplished by those employees who have not yet reached their

Ti Chuck Shepherd


Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

Tikkanen Henrik


Do you realize the responsibility I carry? I'm the only person standing between Nixon and the White House.

Tiselius Arne


The sky is blue so we know where to stop mowing.

Titus Livius


We have gone on piling weapon upon weapon, missile upon missile, new levels of destructiveness upon old ones. We have done this helplessly, almost involuntarily: like the victims of some sort of hypnotism, like men in a dream, like lemmings heading

Tobaben


Good-bye. I am leaving because I am bored.

Tocqueville Alexis de


We ARE as gods and might as well get good at it.

Todd Ruthven Campbell


The coast was clear.

Tokugawa Shogun


A beginning is the time for taking the most delicate care that balances are correct.

Tolkien J. R. R.


Hain't we got all the fools in town on our side? And hain't that a big enough majority in any town?

Tolkien J. R. R.


Things are more like they are today than they ever were before.

Tolkien J. R. R.


In the future, there will be fewer but better Russians.

Tolkien J. R. R.


Liberty don't work as good in practice as it does in speeches.

Tolkien J.R.R.


You can have peace. Or you can have freedom. Don't ever count on having both at once.

Tolkien J.R.R.


Every country has the government it deserves.

Tolkien J.R.R.


"I don't care who does the electing as long as I get to do the nominating."

Tolkien J.R.R.


Go away, I'm all right.

Tolstoy


Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself.

Tolstoy


To be is to be related.

Tolstoy


The government of the United States is not in any sense founded on the Christian Religion.

Tolstoy


The whole religious complexion of the modern world is due to the absence from Jerusalem of a lunatic asylum.

Tolstoy Leo


Arrakis teaches the attitude of the knife - chopping off what's incomplete and saying: "Now it's complete because it's ended here."

Tomash Erwin


The executioner is, I hear, very expert, and my neck is very slender.

Tomlin Lily


A political man can have as his aim the realization of freedom, but he has no means to realize it other than through violence.

Tomlin Lily


Save the Whales

Tomlin Lily


In the plot, people came to the land; the land loved them; they worked and struggled and had lots of children. There was a Frenchman who talked funny and a greenhorn from England who was a fancy-pants but when it came to the crunch he was all courag

Tomlin Lily


Littering is dumb.

Tomlin Lily


Politicians speak for their parties, and parties never are, never have been, and never will be wrong.

Tomlin Lily


What is good? Everything that heightens the feeling of power in man, the will to power, power itself. What is bad? Everything that is born of weakness. Not contentedness but more power; not peace but war; not virtue but fitness. The weak and the

Tomlin Lily


I can hire one half of the working class to kill the other half.

Tourbillon


A woman occasionally is quite a serviceable substitute for masturbation. It takes an abundance of imagination, to be sure.

Toynbee Arnold Joseph


What!? Me worry?

Tr Leon


I do not believe in the creed professed by the Jewish Church, by the Roman Church, by the Greek Church, by the Turkish Church, by the Protestant Church, nor by any Church that I know of. My own mind is my own Church.

Trend Motor


The control of the production of wealth is the control of human life itself.

Trend Motor


When the sun shineth, make hay.

Trend Motor


Three minutes' thought would suffice to find this out; but thought is irksome and three minutes is a long time.

Trillin Calvin


History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives.

Trilling Lionel


The streets are safe in Philadelphia, it's only the people who make them unsafe.

Trotsky


Well, don't worry about it... It's nothing.

Trudeau P.E.


A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.

Truman Harry


Where it is a duty to worship the sun it is pretty sure to be a crime to examine the laws of heat.

Truman Harry


If there is a sin against life, it consists perhaps not so much in despairing of life as in hoping for another life and in eluding the implacable grandeur of this life.

Truman Harry S.


Too much is just enough.

Truman Harry S.


Perhaps, after all, America never has been discovered. I myself would say that it had merely been detected.

Truman Harry S.


If the church put in half the time on covetousness that it does on lust, this would be a better world.

Truman Harry S.


If you lose a son you can always get another, but there's only one Maltese Falcon.

Truman President Harry S.


"Do you think there's a God?" "Well, ____SOMEbody's out to get me!"

Tsu Lao


Education and religion are two things not regulated by supply and demand. The less of either the people have, the less they want.

Tsu Lao


To teach is to learn twice.

Tsu Lao


Once harm has been done, even a fool understands it.

Tsu Lao


He hath eaten me out of house and home.

Tsu Lao


She cried, and the judge wiped her tears with my checkbook.

Tsu Lao


Any two philosophers can tell each other all they know in two hours.

Tsu Lao


Playing an unamplified electric guitar is like strumming on a picnic table.

Tsu Lao


You shall judge of a man by his foes as well as by his friends.

Tsu Lao


There is a natural hootchy-kootchy to a goldfish.

Tsu Lao


We should realize that a city is better off with bad laws, so long as they remain fixed, then with good laws that are constantly being altered, that the lack of learning combined with sound common sense is more helpful than the kind of cleverness th

Tsu Lao


Progress might have been all right once, but it's gone on too long.

Tsu Lao


"What are you watching?" "I don't know." "Well, what's happening?" "I'm not sure... I think the guy in the hat did something terrible." "Why are you watching it?" "You're so analytical. Sometimes you just have to let art flow over you."

Tsu Lao


Acting is not very hard. The most important things are to be able to laugh and cry. If I have to cry, I think of my sex life. And if I have to laugh, well, I think of my sex life.

Tsu Lao


Better late than never.

Tuc The mayor of


Sure there are dishonest men in local government. But there are dishonest men in national government too.

Turgenev


You couldn't even prove the White House staff sane beyond a reasonable doubt.

Turner Ted


Everything is possible. Pass the word.

Turner Ted


If we suffer tamely a lawless attack upon our liberty, we encourage it, and involve others in our doom.

Tusser Thomas


Rebellion lay in his way, and he found it.

Tusser Thomas


You guys have been practicing discrimination for years. Now it's our turn.

Twain Mark


We are giving instruction to FBI agents in the various Chinese dialects ... to handle present and likely future contingencies.

Twain Mark


We are what we pretend to be.

Twain Mark


Neckties strangle clear thinking.

Twain Mark


Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.

Twain Mark


Nitwit ideas are for emergencies. You use them when you've got nothing else to try. If they work, they go in the Book. Otherwise you follow the Book, which is largely a collection of nitwit ideas that worked.

Twain Mark


The lawgiver, of all beings, most owes the law allegiance. He of all men should behave as though the law compelled him. But it is the universal weakness of mankind that what we are given to administer we presently imagine we own.

Twain Mark


When I saw a sign on the freeway that said, "Los Angeles 445 miles," I said to myself, "I've got to get out of this lane."

Twain Mark


I think every good Christian ought to kick Falwell right in the ass.

Twain Mark


"I don't mind going nowhere as long as it's an interesting path."

Twain Mark


If Jesus Christ were to come today, people would not even crucify him. They would ask him to dinner, and hear what he had to say, and make fun of it.

Twain Mark


No is no negative in a woman's mouth.

Twain Mark


It is sweet to let the mind unbend on occasion.

Twain Mark


Some people say a front-engine car handles best. Some people say a rear-engine car handles best. I say a rented car handles best.

Twain Mark


If you cannot convince them, confuse them.

Twain Mark


Another day, another dollar.

Twain Mark


We Americans, we're a simple people... but piss us off, and we'll bomb your cities.

Twain Mark


To be patriotic, hate all nations but your own; to be religious, all sects but your own; to be moral, all pretenses but your own.

Twain Mark


Eeny, Meeny, Jelly Beanie, the spirits are about to speak!

Twain Mark


an idiot politically. But the designations may be good business for war veterans. Having bled for their country in 1861 and 1918, they have bled it all they could consequently. And why not?"

Twain Mark


Who dat who say "who dat" when I say "who dat"?

Twain Mark


A word to the wise is enough.

Twain Mark


I'd just as soon kiss a Wookie.

Twain Mark


IF I HAD A MINE SHAFT, I don't think I would just abandon it. There's got to be a better way.

Twain Mark


Producers seem to be so prejudiced against actors who've had no training. And there's no reason for it. So what if I didn't attend the Royal Academy for twelve years? I'm still a professional trying to be the best actress I can. Why doesn't anyone

Twain Mark


Ninety percent of the time things turn out worse than you thought they would. The other ten percent of the time you had no right to expect that much.

Twain Mark


There is always something new out of Africa.

Twain Mark


It's not a sin not to be Irish, but it is a great shame.

Twain Mark


The Soviet Union, which has complained recently about alleged anti-Soviet themes in American advertising, lodged an official protest this week against the Ford Motor Company's new campaign: "Hey you stinking, fat Russian, get off my Ford Escort."

Twain Mark


By protracting life, we do not deduct one jot from the duration of death.

Twain Mark


Gratitude and treachery are merely the two extremities of the same procession. You have seen all of it that is worth staying for when the band and the gaudy officials have gone by.

Twain Mark


When a man you like switches from what he said a year ago, or four years ago, he is a broad-minded man who has courage enough to change his mind with changing conditions. When a man you don't like does it, he is a liar who has broken his promises.

Twain Mark


Nice guys finish last.

Twain Mark


A light wife doth make a heavy husband.

Twain Mark


[District Attorneys] learn in District Attorney School that there are two sure-fire ways to get a lot of favorable publicity: (1) Go down and raid all the lockers in the local high school and confiscate 53 marijuana cigarettes and put them in a

Twain Mark


Two can Live as Cheaply as One for Half as Long.

Twain Mark


But, for my own part, it was Greek to me.

Twain Mark


God has intended the great to be great and the little to be little... The trade unions, under the European system, destroy liberty [...] I do not mean to say that a dollar a day is enough to support a workingman... not enough to support a man and fiv

Twain Mark


Once a word has been allowed to escape, it cannot be recalled.

Twain Mark


How is the world ruled, and how do wars start? Diplomats tell lies to journalists, and they believe what they read.

Twain Mark


The Israelis are the Doberman pinschers of the Middle East. They treat the Arabs like postmen.

Twain Mark


He draweth out the thread of his verbosity finer than the staple of his argument.

Twain Mark


Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time to reform.

Twain Mark


It is better to have loved and lost

Twain Mark


Good government never depends upon laws, but upon the personal qualities of those who govern. The machinery of government is always subordinate to the will of those who administer that machinery. The most important element of government, therefore,

Twain Mark


Better the prince of some inferior court, Than second, or less, in beatific light.

Twain Mark


Men's skin is different from women's skin. It is usually bigger, and it has more snakes tattooed on it. Also, if you examine a woman's skin very closely, inch by inch, starting at her shapely ankles, then gently tracing the slender curve of her cal

Twain Mark


Freedom is nothing else but the chance to do better.

Twain Mark


XLI: The more one produces, the less one gets. XLII: Simple systems are not feasible because they require infinite testing. XLIII: Hardware works best when it matters the least. XLIV: Aircraft flight in the 21st century will always be in a we

Twain Mark


Briefly stated, the findings are that when presented with an array of data or a sequence of events in which they are instructed to discover an underlying order, subjects show strong tendencies to perceive order and causality in random arrays, to perc

Twain Mark


You're all clear now, kid. Now blow this thing so we can all go home.

Twain Mark


If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library?

Twain Mark


Never promise more than you can perform.

Twain Mark


Credit ... is the only enduring testimonial to man's confidence in man.

Twain Mark


Satire is what closes Saturday night.

Twain Mark


Don't get the idea that I'm one of those goddamn radicals. Don't get the idea that I'm knocking the American system.

Twain Mark


As well look for a needle in a bottle of hay.

Twain Mark


He that breaks a thing to find out what it is has left the path of wisdom.

Twain Mark


There are two ways of disliking poetry; one way is to dislike it, the other is to read Pope.

Twain Mark


Getting into trouble is easy.

Twain Mark


In Dr. Johnson's famous dictionary patriotism is defined as the last resort of the scoundrel. With all due respect to an enlightened but inferior lexicographer I beg to submit that it is the first.

Twain Mark


A liberal is a man too broadminded to take his own side in a quarrel.

Twain Mark


What upsets me is not that you lied to me, but that from now on I can no longer believe you.

Twain Mark


Don't tell me how hard you work. Tell me how much you get done.

Twain Mark


In my end is my beginning.

Twain Mark


Death is a spirit leaving a body, sort of like a shell leaving the nut behind.

Twain Mark


Conscience doth make cowards of us all.

Twain Mark


I remember when legal used to mean lawful, now it means some kind of loophole.

Twain Mark


Two heads are better than one.

Twain Mark


"It says he made us all to be just like him. So if we're dumb, then god is dumb, and maybe even a little ugly on the side."

Twain Mark


America, I'm putting my queer shoulder to the wheel.

Twain Mark


She is not refined. She is not unrefined. She keeps a parrot.

Twain Mark


Receiving a million dollars tax free will make you feel better than being flat broke and having a stomach ache.

Twain Mark


The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep.

Twain Mark


"Are you police officers?" "No, ma'am. We're musicians."

Twain Mark


Young men are fitter to invent than to judge; fitter for execution than for counsel; and fitter for new projects than for settled business. For the experience of age, in things that fall within the compass of it, directeth them; but in new things, a

Twain Mark


Americans' greatest fear is that America will turn out to have been a phenomenon, not a civilization.

Twain Mark


Armenians and Azerbaijanis in Stepanakert, capital of the Nagorno-Karabakh autonomous region, rioted over much needed spelling reform in the Soviet Union.

Twain Mark


All generalizations are false, including this one.

Twain Mark


What on earth would a man do with himself if something did not stand in his way?

Twain Mark


Art is Nature speeded up and God slowed down.

Twain Mark


After the game the king and the pawn go in the same box.

Twain Mark


She was good at playing abstract confusion in the same way a midget is good at being short.

Twain Mark


If I cannot bend Heaven, I shall move Hell.

Tweed Boss


If reporters don't know that truth is plural, they ought to be lawyers.

Tyger Frank


Justice is incidental to law and order.

Tyroon Henry


When asked by an anthropologist what the Indians called America before the white men came, an Indian said simply "Ours."

Tzu Chuang


The English instinctively admire any man who has no talent and is modest about it.

Tzu Chuang


Well, he didn't know what to do, so he decided to look at the government, to see what they did, and scale it down and run his life that way.

them! it only encourages


The Angels want to wear my red shoes.

they' and he points an imaginary gun to this head and pulls the trigger. The old man goes home and his wife says "So aaaaaaaaaaaaaa





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If you think the United States has stood still, who built the largest shopping center in the world?
Nixon Richard M.

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