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Why does a hearse horse snicker, hauling a lawyer away?

W Smile

When the President does it, that means it is not illegal.

W. Leo Rosten on

Oh wearisome condition of humanity! Born under one law, to another bound.

Wa Cleon Thucydides

Sometimes when you look into his eyes you get the feeling that someone else is driving.

Wa Wanda

You won't skid if you stay in a rut.

Wade Harry V.

The only excuse for God is that he doesn't exist.

Wagner Jane

The sooner you make your first 5000 mistakes, the sooner you will be able to correct them.

Wagner Lichty &

Hell hath no fury like a bureaucrat scorned.

Wagner Michael J.

Wishing without work is like fishing without bait.

Walinsky Adam

While there's life, there's hope.

Walker Stanley

The United States is like the guy at the party who gives cocaine to everybody and still nobody likes him.

Wallace George

A snake lurks in the grass.

Wallace George

When you die, you lose a very important part of your life.

Wallach. Carole

A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain.


"You've got to have a gimmick if your band sucks."

War Oliver

We are what we pretend to be.

Ward A.

"What was the worst thing you've ever done?" "I won't tell you that, but I'll tell you the worst thing that ever happened to me... the most dreadful thing."

Ward Artemus

There's no justice in this world.

Ward Jay

Ignorance is the Mother of Devotion.

Warhol Andy

What is the robbing of a bank compared to the founding of a bank?

Warhol Andy

If I made peace with Russia today, I'd only attack her again tomorrow. I just couldn't help myself.

Warhol Andy

When you say that you agree to a thing in principle, you mean that you have not the slightest intention of carrying it out in practice.

Warner Jack

So far as I can remember, there is not one word in the Gospels in praise of intelligence.

Washington Booker T.

Good-bye. I am leaving because I am bored.

Washington George

After his Ignoble Disgrace, Satan was being expelled from Heaven. As he passed through the Gates, he paused a moment in thought, and turned to God and said, "A new creature called Man, I hear, is soon to be created." "This is true," He replied.


Some performers on television appear to be horrible people, but when you finally get to know them in person, they turn out to be even worse.

Watts Alan

The difference between sentiment and being sentimental is the following: Sentiment is when a driver swerves out of the way to avoid hitting a rabbit on the road. Being sentimental is when the same driver, when swerving away from the rabbit hits a pe

Wau Evelyn

University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.

Way Glaser and

Star Wars is adolescent nonsense; Close Encounters is obscurantist drivel; Star Trek can turn your brains to puree of bat guano; and the greatest science fiction series of all time is Doctor Who! And I'll take you all on, one-by-one or all in a bunc


"When are you BUTTHEADS gonna learn that you can't oppose Gestapo tactics *with* Gestapo tactics?"

Weaver Ken

How comes it to pass, then, that we appear such cowards in reasoning, and are so afraid to stand the test of ridicule?

Webber Dean

Just as most issues are seldom black or white, so are most good solutions seldom black or white. Beware of the solution that requires one side to be totally the loser and the other side to be totally the winner. The reason there are two sides to be

Webster Daniel

And yet, seasons must be taken with a grain of salt, for they too have a sense of humor, as does history. Corn stalks comedy, comedy stalks tragedy, and this too is historic. And yet, still, when corn meets tragedy face to face, we have politics.

Weil Joseph

Thompson, if he is to be believed, has sampled the entire rainbow of legal and illegal drugs in heroic efforts to feel better than he does. As for the truth about his health: I have asked around about it. I am told that he appears to be strong and

Weiler A.H.

The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun.

Weinberg Darrin

Standards are different for all things, so the standard set by man is by no means the only 'certain' standard. If you mistake what is relative for something certain, you have strayed far from the ultimate truth.


I often quote myself; it adds spice to my conversation.

Wellington The Duke of

We know next to nothing about virtually everything. It is not necessary to know the origin of the universe; it is necessary to want to know. Civilization depends not on any particular knowledge, but on the disposition to crave knowledge.

Wellington Duke

It is enough to make one sympathize with a tyrant for the determination of his courtiers to deceive him for their own personal ends...

Wells Carolyn

As well look for a needle in a bottle of hay.

Wells H.G.

Every why hath a wherefore.

Wells H.G.

If while you are in school, there is a shortage of qualified personnel in a particular field, then by the time you graduate with the necessary qualifications, that field's employment market is glutted.

Wells H.G.

Politics and the fate of mankind are formed by men without ideals and without greatness. Those who have greatness within them do not go in for politics.

Wells H.G.

A priest asked: What is Fate, Master? And the Master answered: It is that which gives a beast of burden its reason for existence. It is that which men in former times had to bear upon their backs. It is that which has caused nations to build bywa

Wells H.G.

Take what you can use and let the rest go by.

Wells J. Wellington

One of the pleasures of reading old letters is the knowledge that they need no answer.

Wells J. Wellington

The assertion that "all men are created equal" was of no practical use in effecting our separation from Great Britain and it was placed in the Declaration not for that, but for future use.

Wells H.G.

When I reflect upon the number of disagreeable people who I know who have gone to a better world, I am moved to lead a different life.

West Mae

The only thing that experience teaches us is that experience teaches us nothing.

West Mae

"The policeman isn't there to create disorder. The policeman is there to ________preserve disorder."

West Rebecca

Man is the only animal that can remain on friendly terms with the victims he intends to eat until he eats them.

Whalen Philip

Immigration is the sincerest form of flattery.

Wheeler Harvey

A journey of a thousand miles starts under one's feet.

White E. B.

... we must not judge the society of the future by considering whether or not we should like to live in it; the question is whether those who have grown up in it will be happier than those who have grown up in our society or those of the past.

White E.B.

This is the first age that's paid much attention to the future, which is a little ironic since we may not have one.

White E.B.

If you catch a man, throw him back.

White Paul

There is hopeful symbolism in the fact that flags do not wave in a vacuum.

White T.H.

What a strange game. The only winning move is not to play.

White T.H.

We ARE as gods and might as well get good at it.

White William Allen

A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on.

White William Allen

Most people deserve each other.

White Katherine

XLI: The more one produces, the less one gets. XLII: Simple systems are not feasible because they require infinite testing. XLIII: Hardware works best when it matters the least. XLIV: Aircraft flight in the 21st century will always be in a we

Whitehead A.N.

Mike: "The Fourth Dimension is a shambles?" Bernie: "Nobody ever empties the ashtrays. People are SO inconsiderate."

Whitehead Alfred North

Walk softly and carry a big stick.

Whitehead Alfred North

America may be unique in being a country which has leapt from barbarism to decadence without touching civilization.

Whitehorn Katharine

I am a deeply superficial person.

Who Dr.

More are taken in by hope than by cunning.

Whorfin Lord John

Love may laugh at locksmiths, but he has a profound respect for money bags.

Wicker Tom

Home is the place where, when you have to go there, they have to take you in.

Wicker Tom

In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes.

Wicker Tom

If you lose a son you can always get another, but there's only one Maltese Falcon.

Wier Bob

When the sun shineth, make hay.

Wiggam Alfred E.

Beauty is one of the rare things which does not lead to doubt of God.

Wilde Oscar

Do not seek death; death will find you. But seek the road which makes death a fulfillment.

Wilde Oscar

If you wish to be happy for one hour, get drunk. If you wish to be happy for three days, get married. If you wish to be happy for a month, kill your pig and eat it. If you wish to be happy forever, learn to fish.

Wilde Oscar

Forgive him, for he believes that the customs of his tribe are the laws of nature!

Wilde Oscar

"What are you watching?" "I don't know." "Well, what's happening?" "I'm not sure... I think the guy in the hat did something terrible." "Why are you watching it?" "You're so analytical. Sometimes you just have to let art flow over you."

Wilde Oscar

The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently.

Wilde Oscar

"Ubi non accusator, ibi non judex." (Where there is no police, there is no speed limit.)

Wilde Oscar

Whatever occurs from love is always beyond good and evil.

Wilde Oscar

Advertising is the rattling of a stick inside a swill bucket.

Wilde Oscar

Hotels are tired of getting ripped off. I checked into a hotel and they had towels from my house.

Wilde Oscar

Public use of any portable music system is a virtually guaranteed indicator of sociopathic tendencies.

Wilde Oscar

Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.

Wilde Oscar

The bay-trees in our country are all wither'd And meteors fright the fixed stars of heaven; The pale-faced moon looks bloody on the earth And lean-look'd prophets whisper fearful change. These signs forerun the death or fall of kings.

Wilde Oscar

"Rembrandt's first name was Beauregard, which is why he never used it."

Wilde Oscar

If you don't strike oil in twenty minutes, stop boring.

Wilde Oscar

I have made mistakes but I have never made the mistake of claiming that I have never made one.

Wilde Oscar

"I don't mind going nowhere as long as it's an interesting path."

Wilde Oscar

The big cities of America are becoming Third World countries.

Wilde Oscar

The man who sets out to carry a cat by its tail learns something that will always be useful and which never will grow dim or doubtful.

Wilde Oscar

There is a natural hootchy-kootchy to a goldfish.

Wilde Oscar

Lansdale seized on the idea of using Nixon to build support for the [Vietnamese] elections ... really honest elections, this time. "Oh, sure, honest, yes, that's right," Nixon said, "so long as you win!" With that he winked, drove his elbow into La

Wilde Oscar

I am a man: nothing human is alien to me.

Wilde Oscar

Given a choice between grief and nothing, I'd choose grief.

Wilde Oscar

Serfs up!

Wilde Oscar

Sometimes I get the feeling that I went to a party on Perry Lane in 1962, and the party spilled out of the house, and came down the street, and covered the world.

Wilde Oscar

Dianetics is a milestone for man comparable to his discovery of fire and superior to his invention of the wheel and the arch.

Wilde Oscar

We are giving instruction to FBI agents in the various Chinese dialects ... to handle present and likely future contingencies.

Wilde Oscar

To stay young requires unceasing cultivation of the ability to unlearn old falsehoods.

Wilde Oscar

All things that are, are with more spirit chased than enjoyed.

Wilde Oscar

The fact that it works is immaterial.

Wilde Oscar

It is easier to make a saint out of a libertine than out of a prig.

Wilde Oscar

A "No" uttered from deepest conviction is better and greater than a "Yes" merely uttered to please, or what is worse, to avoid trouble.

Wilde Oscar

Let me assure you that to us here at First National, you're not just a number. Youre two numbers, a dash, three more numbers, another dash and another number.

Wilde Oscar

Never buy from a rich salesman.

Wilde Oscar

Home is where the hurt is.

Wilde Oscar

Mankind is poised midway between the gods and the beasts.

Wilde Oscar

Don't tell me how hard you work. Tell me how much you get done.

Wilde Oscar

San Francisco isn't what it used to be, and it never was.

Wilder Billy

"We should declare war on North Vietnam. We could pave the whole country and put parking strips on it, and still be home by Christmas."

Wilder Billy

So little time, so little to do.

Will George

Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.

Will George

A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.

Willard F. Libby

Don't do the crime, if you can't do the time.


[He] took me into his library and showed me his books, of which he had a complete set.

William Gibson

You're always thinking you're gonna be the one that makes 'em act different.

William S. Paley

There is no doubt that my lawyer is honest. For example, when he filed his income tax return last year, he declared half of his salary as 'unearned income.'

William Shakespeare

I don't make the rules, Gil, I only play the game.

William Shakespeare

Bond reflected that good Americans were fine people and that most of them seemed to come from Texas.

William Shakespeare

It is the business of the future to be dangerous.

William Shakespeare

If there is no wind, row.

William Shakespeare

It is not enough to have great qualities, we should also have the management of them.

Williams H.H.

Being a miner, as soon as you're too old and tired and sick and stupid to do your job properly, you have to go, where the very opposite applies with the judges.

Williams Robin

God is Dead.

Williams Tennessee

A furore Normanorum libera nos, O Domine! [From the fury of the norsemen deliver us, O Lord!]

Williams Robin

When asked by an anthropologist what the Indians called America before the white men came, an Indian said simply "Ours."

Williamson Ren'e de Visme

Tom Hayden is the kind of politician who gives opportunism a bad name.

Williamson Nicol

A wise person makes his own decisions, a weak one obeys public opinion.

Williamson Dr. Paul

Cautious, careful people always casting about to preserve their reputation or social standards never can bring about reform. Those who are totally in earnest are willing to be anything or nothing in the world's estimation, and publicly and privately

Willie Sutton

The Least Perceptive Literary Critic The most important critic in our field of study is Lord Halifax. A most individual judge of poetry, he once invited Alexander Pope round to give a public reading of his latest poem. Pope, the leading poet of h

Wills Derek

It's not so hard to lift yourself by your bootstraps once you're off the ground.

Wilson Earl

Violence stinks, no matter which end of it you're on. But now and then there's nothing left to do but hit the other person over the head with a frying pan. Sometimes people are just begging for that frypan, and if we weaken for a moment and honor t

Wilson Earl

I reverently believe that the maker who made us all makes everything in New England, but the weather. I don't know who makes that, but I think it must be raw apprentices in the weather-clerks factory who experiment and learn how, in New England, fo

Wilson Edmund

There are no answers, only cross-references.

Wilson Woodrow

He's a son-of-a-bitch, but he's our son-of-a-bitch.

Wilson Robert

Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamp-post how it feels about dogs.

Win Sir

Another day, another dollar.

Winch Marty

Many of the characters are fools and they are always playing tricks on me and treating me badly.

Winchell Walter

You know you are getting old when you think you should drive the speed limit.


The man who follows the crowd will usually get no further than the crowd. The man who walks alone is likely to find himself in places no one has ever been.

Winkle R.V.

For certain people, after fifty, litigation takes the place of sex.


It is your concern when your neighbor's wall is on fire.


You're all clear now, kid. Now blow this thing so we can all go home.

Winters George

You can't run away forever, But there's nothing wrong with getting a good head start.

Winters Shelley

War is like love, it always finds a way.


I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better.


A kind of Batman of contemporary letters.


The proof of the pudding is in the eating.

Wo Sir Henry

I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forego their use.

Wodehouse Sean O'Casey on P.G.

A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats.

Wolfe Nero

A great empire, like a great cake, is most easily diminished at the edges.

Wolfe Nero

I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.

Wolfe Thomas

Before he became a hermit, Zarathud was a young Priest, and took great delight in making fools of his opponents in front of his followers. One day Zarathud took his students to a pleasant pasture and there he confronted The Sacred Chao while She

Wolfe Gene

In a museum in Havana, there are two skulls of Christopher Columbus, "one when he was a boy and one when he was a man."

Wolfe Nero

I shall give a propagandist reason for starting the war, no matter whether it is plausible or not. The victor will not be asked afterwards whether he told the truth or not. When starting and waging war it is not right that matters, but victory.

Wood Grant

This novel is not to be tossed lightly aside, but to be hurled with great force.

Woody Allen

If happiness is in your destiny, you need not be in a hurry.

Woody Allen

In this world there are only two tragedies. One is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.

Woody Allen

What upsets me is not that you lied to me, but that from now on I can no longer believe you.


I have a very strange feeling about this...

Wright Frank Lloyd

If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything.

Wright Frank Lloyd

Maternity pay? Now every Tom, Dick and Harry will get pregnant.

Wright Frank Lloyd

I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.

Wurster Hall

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At no time is freedom of speech more precious than when a man hits his thumb with a hammer.
Lumsden Marshall

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