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Two wrongs don't make a right, but they make a good excuse.

W Smile

"She said, `I know you ... you cannot sing'. I said, `That's nothing, you should hear me play piano.'"

W. Leo Rosten on

All this wheeling and dealing around, why, it isn't for money, it's for fun. Money's just the way we keep score.

Wa Cleon Thucydides

Nothing is more admirable than the fortitude with which millionaires tolerate the disadvantages of their wealth.

Wa Wanda

I do not know whether I was then a man dreaming I was a butterfly, or whether I am now a butterfly dreaming I am a man.

Wade Harry V.

It is annoying to be honest to no purpose.

Wagner Jane

If you do not think about the future, you cannot have one.

Wagner Lichty &

Drop the vase and it will become a Ming of the past.

Wagner Michael J.

When in doubt, have a man come through the door with a gun in his hand.

Walinsky Adam

If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.

Walker Stanley

Honesty pays, but it doesn't seem to pay enough to suit some people.

Wallace George

L'hazard ne favorise que l'esprit prepare.

Wallace George

For certain people, after fifty, litigation takes the place of sex.

Wallach. Carole

Judges, as a class, display, in the matter of arranging alimony, that reckless generosity which is found only in men who are giving away someone else's cash.


A man is known by the company he organizes.

War Oliver

It is imperative when flying coach that you restrain any tendency toward the vividly imaginative. For although it may momentarily appear to be the case, it is not at all likely that the cabin is entirely inhabited by crying babies smoking inexpensiv

Ward A.

The race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, but that's the way to bet.

Ward Artemus

Luck can't last a lifetime, unless you die young.

Ward Jay

What an author likes to write most is his signature on the back of a cheque.

Warhol Andy

To add insult to injury.

Warhol Andy

Some men are heterosexual, and some are bisexual, and some men don't think about sex at all... they become lawyers.

Warhol Andy

Those who educate children well are more to be honored than parents, for these only gave life, those the art of living well.

Warner Jack

Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it.

Washington Booker T.

Eighteen goddess-like daughters are not equal to one son with a hump.

Washington George

Maybe ain't ain't so correct, but I notice that lots of folks who ain't using ain't ain't eatin' well.


Waste not fresh tears over old griefs.

Watts Alan

Live within your income, even if you have to borrow to do so.

Wau Evelyn

With Congress, every time they make a joke it's a law; and every time they make a law it's a joke.

Way Glaser and

Being a miner, as soon as you're too old and tired and sick and stupid to do your job properly, you have to go, where the very opposite applies with the judges.


If a thing's worth doing, it is worth doing badly.

Weaver Ken

I love treason but hate a traitor.

Webber Dean

The superfluous is very necessary.

Webster Daniel

If a shameless woman expects to be defiled and then dies of her fierce love because you do not consent, will chastity also be homicide?

Weil Joseph

Why be a man when you can be a success?

Weiler A.H.

Life is the living you do, Death is the living you don't do.

Weinberg Darrin

If the English language made any sense, lackadaisical would have something to do with a shortage of flowers.


When I have one foot in the grave I will tell the truth about women. I shall tell it, jump into my coffin, pull the lid over me, and say, "Do what you like now."

Wellington The Duke of

The Worst Car Hire Service When David Schwartz left university in 1972, he set up Rent-a-wreck as a joke. Being a natural prankster, he acquired a fleet of beat-up shabby, wreckages waiting for the scrap heap in California. He put on a cap and lo

Wellington Duke

Never look a gift horse in the mouth.

Wells Carolyn

Have the courage to take your own thoughts seriously, for they will shape you.

Wells H.G.

Maryel brought her bat into Exit once and started whacking people on the dance floor. Now everyone's doing it. It's called grand slam dancing.

Wells H.G.

Real wealth can only increase.

Wells H.G.

Littering is dumb.

Wells H.G.

One man's Mede is another man's Persian.

Wells H.G.

You have all eternity to be cautious in when you're dead.

Wells J. Wellington

The idea there was that consumers would bring their broken electronic devices, such as television sets and VCR's, to the destruction centers, where trained personnel would whack them (the devices) with sledgehammers. With their devices thus permanent

Wells J. Wellington

Doubt isn't the opposite of faith; it is an element of faith.

Wells H.G.

The past always looks better than it was. It's only pleasant because it isn't here.

West Mae

The fact that it works is immaterial.

West Mae

We're constantly being bombarded by insulting and humiliating music, which people are making for you the way they make those Wonder Bread products. Just as food can be bad for your system, music can be bad for your spirtual and emotional feelings. I

West Rebecca

It is a lesson which all history teaches wise men, to put trust in ideas, and not in circumstances.

Whalen Philip

The most delightful day after the one on which you buy a cottage in the country is the one on which you resell it.

Wheeler Harvey

Instead of giving money to found colleges to promote learning, why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as good as the Prohibition one did, why, in five years we would have the smartest r

White E. B.

Fortune's Guide to Freshman Notetaking: WHEN THE PROFESSOR SAYS: YOU WRITE: Probably the greatest quality of the poetry John Milton

White E.B.

VI: A hungry dog hunts best. A hungrier dog hunts even better. VII: Decreased business base increases overhead. So does increased business base. VIII: The most unsuccessful four years in the education of a cost-estimator is fifth grade ari

White E.B.

Advertising is the rattling of a stick inside a swill bucket.

White Paul

I go on working for the same reason a hen goes on laying eggs.

White T.H.

"Do you think there's a God?" "Well, ____SOMEbody's out to get me!"

White T.H.

Non-Determinism is not meant to be reasonable.

White William Allen

Nothing is so firmly believed as that which we least know.

White William Allen

The human animal differs from the lesser primates in his passion for lists of "Ten Best".

White Katherine

Modern art is what happens when painters stop looking at girls and persuade themselves that they have a better idea.

Whitehead A.N.

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.

Whitehead Alfred North

We have reason to be afraid. This is a terrible place.

Whitehead Alfred North

Work is of two kinds: first, altering the position of matter at or near the earth's surface relative to other matter; second, telling other people to do so.

Whitehorn Katharine

Let's remind ourselves that last year's fresh idea is today's cliche.

Who Dr.

Take what you can use and let the rest go by.

Whorfin Lord John

Judges, as a class, display, in the matter of arranging alimony, that reckless generosity which is found only in men who are giving away someone else's cash.

Wicker Tom

Rembrandt is not to be compared in the painting of character with our extraordinarily gifted English artist, Mr. Rippingille.

Wicker Tom

An ounce of mother is worth a ton of priest.

Wicker Tom

If reporters don't know that truth is plural, they ought to be lawyers.

Wier Bob

Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you.

Wiggam Alfred E.

Let me assure you that to us here at First National, you're not just a number. Youre two numbers, a dash, three more numbers, another dash and another number.

Wilde Oscar

Save a little money each month and at the end of the year you'll be surprised at how little you have.

Wilde Oscar

When the sun shineth, make hay.

Wilde Oscar

Then, gently touching my face, she hesitated for a moment as her incredible eyes poured forth into mine love, joy, pain, tragedy, acceptance, and peace. "'Bye for now," she said warmly.

Wilde Oscar

Go away, I'm all right.

Wilde Oscar

Jesus may love you, but I think you're garbage wrapped in skin.

Wilde Oscar

Destiny is a good thing to accept when it's going your way. When it isn't, don't call it destiny; call it injustice, treachery, or simple bad luck.

Wilde Oscar

You k'n hide de fier, but w'at you gwine do wid de smoke?

Wilde Oscar

If God is One, what is bad?

Wilde Oscar

You're all clear now, kid. Now blow this thing so we can all go home.

Wilde Oscar

Imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality.

Wilde Oscar

The ratio of literacy to illiteracy is a constant, but nowadays the illiterates can read.

Wilde Oscar

Bullwinkle: You just leave that to my pal. He's the brains of the outfit. General: What does that make YOU? Bullwinkle: What else? An executive.

Wilde Oscar

Nothing endures but change.

Wilde Oscar

Never promise more than you can perform.

Wilde Oscar

No excellent soul is exempt from a mixture of madness.

Wilde Oscar

It's easier to take it apart than to put it back together.

Wilde Oscar

Dying is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down.

Wilde Oscar

The pollution's at that awkward stage. Too thick to navigate and too thin to cultivate.

Wilde Oscar

Plumbing is one of the easier of do-it-yourself activities, requiring only a few simple tools and a willingness to stick your arm into a clogged toilet. In fact, you can solve many home plumbing problems, such as annoying faucet drip, merely by tur

Wilde Oscar

From the cradle to the coffin underwear comes first.

Wilde Oscar

Sweet April showers do spring May flowers.

Wilde Oscar

The confusion of a staff member is measured by the length of his memos.

Wilde Oscar

Mate, this parrot wouldn't VOOM if you put four million volts through it!

Wilde Oscar

Laws are like sausages. It's better not to see them being made.

Wilde Oscar

If a guru falls in the forest with no one to hear him, was he really a guru at all?

Wilde Oscar

Good salesmen and good repairmen will never go hungry.

Wilde Oscar

When in doubt, mumble; when in trouble, delegate; when in charge, ponder.

Wilde Oscar

Having the fewest wants, I am nearest to the gods.

Wilde Oscar

Once a word has been allowed to escape, it cannot be recalled.

Wilde Oscar

Rome was not built in one day.

Wilde Oscar

Don't get mad, get even.

Wilde Oscar

Nice guys finish last.

Wilde Oscar

He who laughs has not yet heard the bad news.

Wilde Oscar

He who fears the unknown may one day flee from his own backside.

Wilde Oscar

Love may laugh at locksmiths, but he has a profound respect for money bags.

Wilde Oscar

Every man who has reached even his intellectual teens begins to suspect that life is no farce; that it is not genteel comedy even; that it flowers and fructifies on the contrary out of the profoundest tragic depths of the essential death in which its

Wilde Oscar

The day advanced as if to light some work of mine; it was morning, and lo! now it is evening, and nothing memorable is accomplished.

Wilder Billy

Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years.

Wilder Billy

Marijuana will be legal some day, because the many law students who now smoke pot will someday become congressmen and legalize it in order to protect themselves.

Will George

May you live in uninteresting times.

Will George

I value kindness to human beings first of all, and kindness to animals. I don't respect the law; I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger, the food cheaper, and old men

Willard F. Libby

With Congress, every time they make a joke it's a law; and every time they make a law it's a joke.


The most costly of all follies is to believe passionately in the palpably not true. It is the chief occupation of mankind.

William Gibson

Life is one long struggle in the dark.

William S. Paley

Si jeunesse savait, si vieillesse pouvait. [If youth but knew, if old age but could.]

William Shakespeare

"What was the worst thing you've ever done?" "I won't tell you that, but I'll tell you the worst thing that ever happened to me... the most dreadful thing."

William Shakespeare

When the ax entered the forest, the trees said, "The handle is one of us!"

William Shakespeare

If you wish to be happy for one hour, get drunk. If you wish to be happy for three days, get married. If you wish to be happy for a month, kill your pig and eat it. If you wish to be happy forever, learn to fish.

William Shakespeare

If your happiness depends on what somebody else does, I guess you do have a problem.

William Shakespeare

The greatest productive force is human selfishness.

Williams H.H.

I remember when legal used to mean lawful, now it means some kind of loophole.

Williams Robin

Seize the day, put no trust in the morrow!

Williams Tennessee

The two most beautiful words in the English language are "Cheque Enclosed."

Williams Robin

The final delusion is the belief that one has lost all delusions.

Williamson Ren'e de Visme

Receiving a million dollars tax free will make you feel better than being flat broke and having a stomach ache.

Williamson Nicol

Depend on the rabbit's foot if you will, but remember, it didn't help the rabbit.

Williamson Dr. Paul

A priest asked: What is Fate, Master? And the Master answered: It is that which gives a beast of burden its reason for existence. It is that which men in former times had to bear upon their backs. It is that which has caused nations to build bywa

Willie Sutton

A violent man will die a violent death.

Wills Derek

Sensible and responsible women do not want to vote.

Wilson Earl

The only certainty is that nothing is certain.

Wilson Earl

Wilson Edmund

Scratch the average female and you'll find a purring bundle... at the ready to love and honor, bake a torte and still produce quintuplets.

Wilson Woodrow

Let's say your wedding ring falls into your toaster, and when you stick your hand in to retrieve it, you suffer Pain and Suffering as well as Mental Anguish. You would sue: * The toaster manufacturer, for failure to include, in the instructions

Wilson Robert

Some women should be beaten regularly, like gongs.

Win Sir

Treat your friend as if he might become an enemy.

Winch Marty

Aim for the moon. If you miss, you may hit a star.

Winchell Walter

The sunlights differ, but there is only one darkness.


Brahma said: Well, after hearing ten thousand explanations, a fool is no wiser. But an intelligent man needs only two thousand five hundred.

Winkle R.V.

Princeton's taste is sweet like a strawberry tart. Harvard's is a subtle taste, like whiskey, coffee, or tobacco. It may even be a bad habit, for all I know.


This wasn't just plain terrible, this was fancy terrible. This was terrible with raisins in it.


He who writes with no misspelled words has prevented a first suspicion on the limits of his scholarship or, in the social world, of his general education and culture.

Winters George

Anything that is worth doing has been done frequently. Things hitherto undone should be given, I suspect, a wide berth.

Winters Shelley

Beggars should be no choosers.


Working with Julie Andrews is like getting hit over the head with a valentine.


A woman's a woman until the day she dies, but a man's only a man as long as he can.


Educational television should be absolutely forbidden. It can only lead to unreasonable disappointment when your child discovers that the letters of the alphabet do not leap up out of books and dance around with royal-blue chickens.

Wo Sir Henry

The best executive is one who has sense enough to pick good people to do what he wants done, and self-restraint enough to keep from meddling with them while they do it.

Wodehouse Sean O'Casey on P.G.

I know on which side my bread is buttered.

Wolfe Nero

The executioner is, I hear, very expert, and my neck is very slender.

Wolfe Nero

TV is chewing gum for the eyes.

Wolfe Thomas

Marijuana will be legal some day, because the many law students who now smoke pot will someday become congressmen and legalize it in order to protect themselves.

Wolfe Gene

God helps them that help themselves.

Wolfe Nero

Charity begins at home.

Wood Grant

British education is probably the best in the world, if you can survive it. If you can't there is nothing left for you but the diplomatic corps.

Woody Allen

Sometimes a man who deserves to be looked down upon because he is a fool is despised only because he is a lawyer.

Woody Allen

A prediction is worth twenty explanations.

Woody Allen

Take care of the luxuries and the necessities will take care of themselves.


Death is a spirit leaving a body, sort of like a shell leaving the nut behind.

Wright Frank Lloyd

The first rule of intelligent tinkering is to save all the parts.

Wright Frank Lloyd

There's nothing remarkable about it. All one has to do is hit the right keys at the right time and the instrument plays itself.

Wright Frank Lloyd

"You boys lookin' for trouble?" "Sure. Whaddya got?"

Wurster Hall

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For certain people, after fifty, litigation takes the place of sex.
Vidal Gore

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