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What we need in this country, instead of Daylight Savings Time, which nobody really understands anyway, is a new concept called Weekday Morning Time, whereby at 7 a.m. every weekday we go into a space-launch-style "hold" for two to three hours, durin

W Smile

Heaven and earth were created all together in the same instant, on October 23rd, 4004 B.C. at nine o'clock in the morning.

W. Leo Rosten on

With Congress, every time they make a joke it's a law; and every time they make a law it's a joke.

Wa Cleon Thucydides

The two party system ... is a triumph of the dialectic. It showed that two could be one and one could be two and had probably been fabricated by Hegel for the American market on a subcontract from General Dynamics.

Wa Wanda

Ignorance is the Mother of Devotion.

Wade Harry V.

The farther you go, the less you know.

Wagner Jane

I do desire we may be better strangers.

Wagner Lichty &

Something's rotten in the state of Denmark.

Wagner Michael J.

I reverently believe that the maker who made us all makes everything in New England, but the weather. I don't know who makes that, but I think it must be raw apprentices in the weather-clerks factory who experiment and learn how, in New England, fo

Walinsky Adam

God gave man two ears and one tongue so that we listen twice as much as we speak.

Walker Stanley

Like, if I'm not for me, then fer shure, like who will be? And if, y'know, if I'm not like fer anyone else, then hey, I mean, what am I? And if not now, like I dunno, maybe like when? And if not Who, then I dunno, maybe like the Rolling Stones?

Wallace George

For if there is a sin against life, it consists perhaps not so much in despairing of life as in hoping for another life and in eluding the implacable grandeur of this life.

Wallace George

For thee the wonder-working earth puts forth sweet flowers.

Wallach. Carole

Once the toothpaste is out of the tube, it's hard to get it back in.


I love treason but hate a traitor.

War Oliver

If we can ever make red tape nutritional, we can feed the world.

Ward A.

The control of the production of wealth is the control of human life itself.

Ward Artemus

If any man wishes to be humbled and mortified, let him become president of Harvard.

Ward Jay

Then, gently touching my face, she hesitated for a moment as her incredible eyes poured forth into mine love, joy, pain, tragedy, acceptance, and peace. "'Bye for now," she said warmly.

Warhol Andy

God made everything out of nothing, but the nothingness shows through.

Warhol Andy

Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose.

Warhol Andy

When you are at Rome live in the Roman style; when you are elsewhere live as they live elsewhere.

Warner Jack

A woman's a woman until the day she dies, but a man's only a man as long as he can.

Washington Booker T.

Things are not always what they seem.

Washington George

[Maturity consists in the discovery that] there comes a critical moment where everything is reversed, after which the point becomes to understand more and more that there is something which cannot be understood.


There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.

Watts Alan

The English instinctively admire any man who has no talent and is modest about it.

Wau Evelyn

The most difficult thing in the world is to know how to do a thing and to watch someone else doing it wrong, without commenting.

Way Glaser and

She cried, and the judge wiped her tears with my checkbook.


One good turn asketh another.

Weaver Ken

To be or not to be.

Webber Dean

Work is of two kinds: first, altering the position of matter at or near the earth's surface relative to other matter; second, telling other people to do so.

Webster Daniel

It has long been noticed that juries are pitiless for robbery and full of indulgence for infanticide. A question of interest, my dear Sir! The jury is afraid of being robbed and has passed the age when it could be a victim of infanticide.

Weil Joseph

For the fashion of Minas Tirith was such that it was built on seven levels, each delved into a hill, and about each was set a wall, and in each wall was a gate.

Weiler A.H.

"You've got to have a gimmick if your band sucks."

Weinberg Darrin

Nothing, nothing, nothing, no error, no crime is so absolutely repugnant to God as everything which is official; and why? because the official is so impersonal and therefore the deepest insult which can be offered to a personality.


My experience with government is when things are non-controversial, beautifully co-ordinated and all the rest, it must be that not much is going on.

Wellington The Duke of

"Well," Brahma said, "even after ten thousand explanations, a fool is no wiser, but an intelligent man requires only two thousand five hundred."

Wellington Duke

It's from Casablanca. I've been waiting all my life to use that line.

Wells Carolyn

Pity the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.

Wells H.G.

The most costly of all follies is to believe passionately in the palpably not true. It is the chief occupation of mankind.

Wells H.G.

It is difficult to produce a television documentary that is both incisive and probing when every twelve minutes one is interrupted by twelve dancing rabbits singing about toilet paper.

Wells H.G.

"It was a Roman who said it was sweet to die for one's country. The Greeks never said it was sweet to die for anything. They had no vital lies."

Wells H.G.

If the path be beautiful, let us not ask where it leads.

Wells H.G.

I wish a robot would get elected president. That way, when he came to town, we could all take a shot at him and not feel too bad.

Wells J. Wellington

Learning French is trivial: the word for horse is cheval, and everything else follows in the same way.

Wells J. Wellington

No good deed goes unpunished.

Wells H.G.

Perfection is reached, not when there is no longer anything to add, but when there is no longer anything to take away.

West Mae

If I had done everything I'm credited with, I'd be speaking to you from a laboratory jar at Harvard.

West Mae

... but as records of courts and justice are admissible, it can easily be proved that powerful and malevolent magicians once existed and were a scourge to mankind. The evidence (including confession) upon which certain women were convicted of witch

West Rebecca

It's not a sin not to be Irish, but it is a great shame.

Whalen Philip

Honesty pays, but it doesn't seem to pay enough to suit some people.

Wheeler Harvey

If there is no wind, row.

White E. B.

Toto, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore.

White E.B.

Classical music is the kind we keep thinking will turn into a tune.

White E.B.

The goys have proven the following theorem...

White Paul

Rome was not built in one day.

White T.H.

Television is a medium because anything well done is rare.

White T.H.

Somewhat alarmed at the continued growth of the number of employees on the Department of Agriculture payroll in 1962, Michigan Republican Robert Griffin proposed an amendment to the farm bill so that "the total number of employees in the Department

White William Allen

It'll be just like Beggars' Canyon back home.

White William Allen

The man who follows the crowd will usually get no further than the crowd. The man who walks alone is likely to find himself in places no one has ever been.

White Katherine

Nothing is illegal if one hundred businessmen decide to do it.

Whitehead A.N.

If two people love each other, there can be no happy end to it.

Whitehead Alfred North

The assertion that "all men are created equal" was of no practical use in effecting our separation from Great Britain and it was placed in the Declaration not for that, but for future use.

Whitehead Alfred North

TV is chewing gum for the eyes.

Whitehorn Katharine

A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.

Who Dr.

Yevtushenko has... an ego that can crack crystal at a distance of twenty feet.

Whorfin Lord John

Our swords shall play the orators for us.

Wicker Tom

I owe the government $3400 in taxes. So I sent them two hammers and a toilet seat.

Wicker Tom

"Well, if you can't believe what you read in a comic book, what *___can* you believe?!"

Wicker Tom

I would like to electrocute everyone who uses the word 'fair' in connection with income tax policies.

Wier Bob

"It's a summons." "What's a summons?" "It means summon's in trouble."

Wiggam Alfred E.

Genius is pain.

Wilde Oscar

Sometimes a man who deserves to be looked down upon because he is a fool is despised only because he is a lawyer.

Wilde Oscar

Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do. Play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do.

Wilde Oscar

"I don't mind going nowhere as long as it's an interesting path."

Wilde Oscar

He who fears the unknown may one day flee from his own backside.

Wilde Oscar

May you live in uninteresting times.

Wilde Oscar

Ninety percent of the time things turn out worse than you thought they would. The other ten percent of the time you had no right to expect that much.

Wilde Oscar

I respect faith, but doubt is what gives you an education.

Wilde Oscar

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.

Wilde Oscar

A rolling stone gathers no moss.

Wilde Oscar

She is not refined. She is not unrefined. She keeps a parrot.

Wilde Oscar

Indomitable in retreat; invincible in advance; insufferable in victory.

Wilde Oscar

It is Mr. Mellon's credo that $200,000,000 can do no wrong. Our offense consists in doubting it.

Wilde Oscar

This was the most unkindest cut of all.

Wilde Oscar

Two wrongs don't make a right, but they make a good excuse.

Wilde Oscar

The idea there was that consumers would bring their broken electronic devices, such as television sets and VCR's, to the destruction centers, where trained personnel would whack them (the devices) with sledgehammers. With their devices thus permanent

Wilde Oscar

If you want to know what god thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.

Wilde Oscar

If the English language made any sense, lackadaisical would have something to do with a shortage of flowers.

Wilde Oscar

Remember folks. Street lights timed for 35 mph are also timed for 70 mph.

Wilde Oscar

Not all who own a harp are harpers.

Wilde Oscar

Laws are like sausages. It's better not to see them being made.

Wilde Oscar

The chief danger in life is that you may take too many precautions.

Wilde Oscar

And ever has it been known that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation.

Wilde Oscar

Pereant, inquit, qui ante nos nostra dixerunt. [Confound those who have said our remarks before us.] or [May they perish who have expressed our bright ideas before us.]

Wilde Oscar

Ten years of rejection slips is nature's way of telling you to stop writing.

Wilde Oscar

After his Ignoble Disgrace, Satan was being expelled from Heaven. As he passed through the Gates, he paused a moment in thought, and turned to God and said, "A new creature called Man, I hear, is soon to be created." "This is true," He replied.

Wilde Oscar

Dustin Farnum: Why, yesterday, I had the audience glued to their seats! Oliver Herford: Wonderful! Wonderful! Clever of you to think of it!

Wilde Oscar

Learning without thought is labor lost; thought without learning is perilous.

Wilde Oscar

Given a choice between grief and nothing, I'd choose grief.

Wilde Oscar

Practical people would be more practical if they would take a little more time for dreaming.

Wilde Oscar

Whatever it is, I fear Greeks even when they bring gifts.

Wilde Oscar

The human instinct to censor thrives, as it always will, living in irrepressible conflict with the human instinct to speak. Outrage, self-righteousness, and paranoia feed the maw of censorship. Squelching speech, however, never reduces society's net

Wilde Oscar

If there is a sin against life, it consists perhaps not so much in despairing of life as in hoping for another life and in eluding the implacable grandeur of this life.

Wilde Oscar

Interesting poll results reported in today's New York Post: people on the street in midtown Manhattan were asked whether they approved of the US invasion of Grenada. Fifty-three percent said yes; 39 percent said no; and 8 percent said "Gimme a quart

Wilde Oscar

Having the fewest wants, I am nearest to the gods.

Wilde Oscar

The 'A' is for content, the 'minus' is for not typing it. Don't ever do this to my eyes again.

Wilde Oscar

Three o'clock in the afternoon is always just a little too late or a little too early for anything you want to do.

Wilde Oscar

We Americans, we're a simple people... but piss us off, and we'll bomb your cities.

Wilder Billy

The Army needs leaders the way a foot needs a big toe.

Wilder Billy

"Why are we importing all these highbrow plays like `Amadeus'? I could have told you Mozart was a jerk for nothing."

Will George

Govern a great nation as you would cook a small fish. Don't overdo it.

Will George

Credit ... is the only enduring testimonial to man's confidence in man.

Willard F. Libby

If society fits you comfortably enough, you call it freedom.


Consider well the proportions of things. It is better to be a young June-bug than an old bird of paradise.

William Gibson

For some reason a glaze passes over people's faces when you say "Canada". Maybe we should invade South Dakota or something.

William S. Paley

Let us not look back in anger or forward in fear, but around us in awareness.

William Shakespeare

Nasrudin returned to his village from the imperial capital, and the villagers gathered around to hear what had passed. "At this time," said Nasrudin, "I only want to say that the King spoke to me." All the villagers but the stupidest ran off to spr

William Shakespeare

I can hire one half of the working class to kill the other half.

William Shakespeare

Out of sight is out of mind.

William Shakespeare

There is no fool to the old fool.

William Shakespeare

What I tell you three times is true.

Williams H.H.

There's such a thing as too much point on a pencil.

Williams Robin

Whatever occurs from love is always beyond good and evil.

Williams Tennessee

The price of seeking to force our beliefs on others is that someday they might force their beliefs on us.

Williams Robin

Since a politician never believes what he says, he is surprised when others believe him.

Williamson Ren'e de Visme

The polite thing to do has always been to address people as they wish to be addressed, to treat them in a way they think dignified. But it is equally important to accept and tolerate different standards of courtesy, not expecting everyone else to ad

Williamson Nicol

Never laugh at live dragons.

Williamson Dr. Paul

Rotten wood cannot be carved.

Willie Sutton

One picture is worth more than ten thousand words.

Wills Derek

English literature's performing flea.

Wilson Earl

"God gives burdens; also shoulders" Jimmy Carter cited this Jewish saying in his concession speech at the end of the 1980 election. At least he said it was a Jewish saying; I can't find it anywhere. I'm sure he's telling the truth though; why wo

Wilson Earl

I don't know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.

Wilson Edmund

But the greatest Electrical Pioneer of them all was Thomas Edison, who was a brilliant inventor despite the fact that he had little formal education and lived in New Jersey. Edison's first major invention in 1877, was the phonograph, which could soo

Wilson Woodrow

In "King Henry VI, Part II," Shakespeare has Dick Butcher suggest to his fellow anti-establishment rabble-rousers, "The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers." That action may be extreme but a similar sentiment was expressed by Thomas K. Co

Wilson Robert

Tempt not a desperate man.

Win Sir

A man who cannot seduce men cannot save them either.

Winch Marty

The most delightful day after the one on which you buy a cottage in the country is the one on which you resell it.

Winchell Walter

I consider a new device or technology to have been culturally accepted when it has been used to commit a murder.


How can you prove whether at this moment we are sleeping, and all our thoughts are a dream; or whether we are awake, and talking to one another in the waking state?

Winkle R.V.

Art is anything you can get away with.


By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity. Another man's, I mean.


I go on working for the same reason a hen goes on laying eggs.

Winters George

"You boys lookin' for trouble?" "Sure. Whaddya got?"

Winters Shelley

He who attacks the fundamentals of the American broadcasting industry attacks democracy itself.


I have discovered the art of deceiving diplomats. I tell them the truth and they never believe me.


Never appeal to a man's "better nature." He may not have one. Invoking his self-interest gives you more leverage.


If the American dream is for Americans only, it will remain our dream and never be our destiny.

Wo Sir Henry

I place economy among the first and most important virtues, and public debt as the greatest of dangers to be feared. To preserve our independence, we must not let our rulers load us with perpetual debt. If we run into such debts, we must be taxed i

Wodehouse Sean O'Casey on P.G.

It is easier to resist at the beginning than at the end.

Wolfe Nero

We are not a loved organization, but we are a respected one.

Wolfe Nero

If God lived on Earth, people would knock out all His windows.

Wolfe Thomas

For certain people, after fifty, litigation takes the place of sex.

Wolfe Gene

There is no ox so dumb as the orthodox.

Wolfe Nero

I have gained this by philosophy: that I do without being commanded what others do only from fear of the law.

Wood Grant

VII. Certain bodies can pass through solid walls painted to resemble tunnel entrances; others cannot. This trompe l'oeil inconsistency has baffled generations, but at least it is known that whoever paints an entrance on a wall's surface to

Woody Allen

The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and the lightning bug.

Woody Allen

Be regular and orderly in your life, so that you may be violent and original in your work.

Woody Allen

The last thing one knows in constructing a work is what to put first.


Crito, I owe a cock to Asclepius; will you remember to pay the debt?

Wright Frank Lloyd

The notes blatted skyward as they rose over the Canada geese, feathered rumps mooning the day, webbed appendages frantically pedaling unseen bicycles in their search for sustenance, driven by cruel Nature's maxim, 'Ya wanna eat, ya gotta work,' and a

Wright Frank Lloyd

I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark.

Wright Frank Lloyd

The only "ism" Hollywood believes in is plagiarism.

Wurster Hall

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Fast ship? You mean you've never heard of the Millennium Falcon?
Solo Han

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