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You have to run as fast as you can just to stay where you are. If you want to get anywhere, you'll have to run much faster.

W Smile

If I had any humility I would be perfect.

W. Leo Rosten on

I have defined the hundred per cent American as ninety-nine per cent an idiot.

Wa Cleon Thucydides

In "King Henry VI, Part II," Shakespeare has Dick Butcher suggest to his fellow anti-establishment rabble-rousers, "The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers." That action may be extreme but a similar sentiment was expressed by Thomas K. Co

Wa Wanda

Man must shape his tools lest they shape him.

Wade Harry V.

While there's life, there's hope.

Wagner Jane

Superstition, idolatry, and hypocrisy have ample wages, but truth goes a-begging.

Wagner Lichty &

Fame is a vapor; popularity an accident; the only earthly certainty is oblivion.

Wagner Michael J.

Fortune Documents the Great Legal Decisions: We think that we may take judicial notice of the fact that the term "bitch" may imply some feeling of endearment when applied to a female of the canine species but that it is seldom, if ever, so used whe

Walinsky Adam

The truth is rarely pure, and never simple.

Walker Stanley

The farther you go, the less you know.

Wallace George

He who writes with no misspelled words has prevented a first suspicion on the limits of his scholarship or, in the social world, of his general education and culture.

Wallace George

Maybe ain't ain't so correct, but I notice that lots of folks who ain't using ain't ain't eatin' well.

Wallach. Carole

The term "fire" brings up visions of violence and mayhem and the ugly scene of shooting employees who make mistakes. We will now refer to this process as "deleting" an employee (much as a file is deleted from a disk). The employee is simply there o


Use an accordion. Go to jail.

War Oliver

Why attack God? He may be as miserable as we are.

Ward A.

Inglish Spocken Hier: some mangled translations Sign on a cabin door of a Soviet Black Sea cruise liner: Helpsavering apparata in emergings behold many whistles! Associate the stringing apparata about the bosums and meet behind, flee then t

Ward Artemus

I'm going to raise an issue and stick it in your ear.

Ward Jay

As flies to wanton boys are we to the gods; they kill us for their sport.

Warhol Andy

Tempt not a desperate man.

Warhol Andy

Extreme fear can neither fight nor fly.

Warhol Andy

If a jury in a criminal trial stays out for more than twenty-four hours, it is certain to vote acquittal, save in those instances where it votes guilty.

Warner Jack

Bullwinkle: You just leave that to my pal. He's the brains of the outfit. General: What does that make YOU? Bullwinkle: What else? An executive.

Washington Booker T.

Dianetics is a milestone for man comparable to his discovery of fire and superior to his invention of the wheel and the arch.

Washington George

There is more to life than increasing its speed.


Public use of any portable music system is a virtually guaranteed indicator of sociopathic tendencies.

Watts Alan

Dying is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down.

Wau Evelyn

... before I could come to any conclusion it occurred to me that my speech or my silence, indeed any action of mine, would be a mere futility. What did it matter what anyone knew or ignored? What did it matter who was manager? One gets sometimes s

Way Glaser and

It has been said [by Anatole France], "it is not by amusing oneself that one learns," and, in reply: "it is *____only* by amusing oneself that one can learn."


Getting kicked out of the American Bar Association is liked getting kicked out of the Book-of-the-Month Club.

Weaver Ken

Any philosophy that can be put "in a nutshell" belongs there.

Webber Dean

The good Christian should beware of mathematicians and all those who make empty prophecies. The danger already exists that mathematicians have made a covenant with the devil to darken the spirit and confine man in the bonds of Hell.

Webster Daniel

Better late than never.

Weil Joseph

"Earth is a great, big funhouse without the fun."

Weiler A.H.

Cold is God's way of teling us to burn more Catholics.

Weinberg Darrin

Big book, big bore.


The eye is a menace to clear sight, the ear is a menace to subtle hearing, the mind is a menace to wisdom, every organ of the senses is a menace to its own capacity. ... Fuss, the god of the Southern Ocean, and Fret, the god of the Northern Ocean, h

Wellington The Duke of

XLI: The more one produces, the less one gets. XLII: Simple systems are not feasible because they require infinite testing. XLIII: Hardware works best when it matters the least. XLIV: Aircraft flight in the 21st century will always be in a we

Wellington Duke

If happiness is in your destiny, you need not be in a hurry.

Wells Carolyn

A priest asked: What is Fate, Master? And the Master answered: It is that which gives a beast of burden its reason for existence. It is that which men in former times had to bear upon their backs. It is that which has caused nations to build bywa

Wells H.G.

She say, Miss Colie, You better hush. God might hear you. Let 'im hear me, I say. If he ever listened to poor colored women the world would be a different place, I can tell you.

Wells H.G.

Nonsense and beauty have close connections.

Wells H.G.

When in doubt, have a man come through the door with a gun in his hand.

Wells H.G.

I had another dream the other day about music critics. They were small and rodent-like with padlocked ears, as if they had stepped out of a painting by Goya.

Wells H.G.

America, how can I write a holy litany in your silly mood?

Wells J. Wellington

Yevtushenko has... an ego that can crack crystal at a distance of twenty feet.

Wells J. Wellington

My tears stuck in their little ducts, refusing to be jerked.

Wells H.G.

The trouble is, there is an endless supply of White Men, but there has always been a limited number of Human Beings.

West Mae

Wishing without work is like fishing without bait.

West Mae

The shortest distance between two points is under construction.

West Rebecca

Yet creeds mean very little, Coth answered the dark god, still speaking almost gently. The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this is true.

Whalen Philip

If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars.

Wheeler Harvey

So so is good, very good, very excellent good: and yet it is not; it is but so so.

White E. B.

I think... I think it's in my basement... Let me go upstairs and check.

White E.B.

If a man loses his reverence for any part of life, he will lose his reverence for all of life.

White E.B.

In India, "cold weather" is merely a conventional phrase and has come into use through the necessity of having some way to distinguish between weather which will melt a brass door-knob and weather which will only make it mushy.

White Paul

Every why hath a wherefore.

White T.H.

To generalize is to be an idiot.

White T.H.

The first myth of management is that it exists. The second myth of management is that success equals skill.

White William Allen

The Public is merely a multiplied "me."

White William Allen

Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet?

White Katherine

[He] took me into his library and showed me his books, of which he had a complete set.

Whitehead A.N.

per year.

Whitehead Alfred North

What one fool can do, another can.

Whitehead Alfred North

Hating the Yankees is as American as pizza pie, unwed mothers and cheating on your income tax.

Whitehorn Katharine

Awash with unfocused desire, Everett twisted the lobe of his one remaining ear and felt the presence of somebody else behind him, which caused terror to push through his nervous system like a flash flood roaring down the mid-fork of the Feather River

Who Dr.

It is a profitable thing, if one is wise, to seem foolish.

Whorfin Lord John

Good salesmen and good repairmen will never go hungry.

Wicker Tom

Getting into trouble is easy.

Wicker Tom

Between 1950 and 1952, a bored weatherman, stationed north of Hudson Bay, left a monument that neither government nor time can eradicate. Using a bulldozer abandoned by the Air Force, he spent two years and great effort pushing boulders into a single

Wicker Tom

Chance is perhaps the work of God when He did not want to sign.

Wier Bob

To teach is to learn twice.

Wiggam Alfred E.

Historians have now definitely established that Juan Cabrillo, discoverer of California, was not looking for Kansas, thus setting a precedent that continues to this day.

Wilde Oscar

My religion consists of a humble admiration of the illimitable superior spirit who reveals himself in the slight details we are able to perceive with our frail and feeble mind.

Wilde Oscar

I was part of that strange race of people aptly described as spending their lives doing things they detest to make money they don't want to buy things they don't need to impress people they dislike.

Wilde Oscar

Nice guys finish last.

Wilde Oscar

Whom the mad would destroy, first they make Gods.

Wilde Oscar

You never have to change anything you got up in the middle of the night to write.

Wilde Oscar

Sho' they got to have it against the law. Shoot, ever'body git high, they wouldn't be nobody git up and feed the chickens. Hee-hee.

Wilde Oscar

A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the word you first thought of.

Wilde Oscar

Certain passages in several laws have always defied interpretation and the most inexplicable must be a matter of opinion. A judge of the Court of Session of Scotland has sent the editors of this book his candidate which reads, "In the Nuts (unground

Wilde Oscar

Never appeal to a man's "better nature." He may not have one. Invoking his self-interest gives you more leverage.

Wilde Oscar

They have been at a great feast of languages, and stolen the scraps.

Wilde Oscar

France is a country where the money falls apart and you can't tear the toilet paper.

Wilde Oscar

Before he became a hermit, Zarathud was a young Priest, and took great delight in making fools of his opponents in front of his followers. One day Zarathud took his students to a pleasant pasture and there he confronted The Sacred Chao while She

Wilde Oscar

Some men are heterosexual, and some are bisexual, and some men don't think about sex at all... they become lawyers.

Wilde Oscar

Silence is the element in which great things fashion themselves.

Wilde Oscar

Sho' they got to have it against the law. Shoot, ever'body git high, they wouldn't be nobody git up and feed the chickens. Hee-hee.

Wilde Oscar

If Beethoven's Seventh Symphony is not by some means abridged, it will soon fall into disuse.

Wilde Oscar

Sweet April showers do spring May flowers.

Wilde Oscar

... Our second completely true news item was sent to me by Mr. H. Boyce Connell Jr. of Atlanta, Ga., where he is involved in a law firm. One thing I like about the South is, folks there care about tradition. If somebody gets handed a name like "H.

Wilde Oscar

Experience is a good teacher, but she sends in terrific bills.

Wilde Oscar

To have died once is enough.

Wilde Oscar

I respect faith, but doubt is what gives you an education.

Wilde Oscar

It is impossible to enjoy idling thoroughly unless one has plenty of work to do.

Wilde Oscar

Feminists say 60 percent of the country's wealth is in the hands of women. They're letting men hold the other 40 percent because their handbags are full.

Wilde Oscar

Many hands make light work.

Wilde Oscar

The Angels want to wear my red shoes.

Wilde Oscar

... Our second completely true news item was sent to me by Mr. H. Boyce Connell Jr. of Atlanta, Ga., where he is involved in a law firm. One thing I like about the South is, folks there care about tradition. If somebody gets handed a name like "H.

Wilde Oscar

Money can't buy love, but it improves your bargaining position.

Wilde Oscar

The streets were dark with something more than night.

Wilde Oscar

I love treason but hate a traitor.

Wilde Oscar

The fashion wears out more apparel than the man.

Wilde Oscar

The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it.

Wilde Oscar

If a man stay away from his wife for seven years, the law presumes the separation to have killed him; yet according to our daily experience, it might well prolong his life.

Wilde Oscar

The whole earth is in jail and we're plotting this incredible jailbreak.

Wilde Oscar

Ben, why didn't you tell me?

Wilde Oscar

The Anglo-Saxon conscience does not prevent the Anglo-Saxon from sinning, it merely prevents him from enjoying his sin.

Wilde Oscar

Prosperity makes friends, adversity tries them.

Wilde Oscar

I always had a repulsive need to be something more than human.

Wilder Billy

The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring a nature that it will last through a whole lifetime, if not asked to lend money.

Wilder Billy

I'd just as soon kiss a Wookie.

Will George

Rome was not built in one day.

Will George

There is a secret person undamaged within every individual.

Willard F. Libby

Lookie, lookie, here comes cookie...


If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him.

William Gibson

Educational television should be absolutely forbidden. It can only lead to unreasonable disappointment when your child discovers that the letters of the alphabet do not leap up out of books and dance around with royal-blue chickens.

William S. Paley

If two people love each other, there can be no happy end to it.

William Shakespeare

The last vestiges of the old Republic have been swept away.

William Shakespeare

Every word is like an unnecessary stain on silence and nothingness.

William Shakespeare

Maryel brought her bat into Exit once and started whacking people on the dance floor. Now everyone's doing it. It's called grand slam dancing.

William Shakespeare

His followers called him Mahasamatman and said he was a god. He preferred to drop the Maha- and the -atman, however, and called himself Sam. He never claimed to be a god. But then, he never claimed not to be a god. Circum- stances being what they

William Shakespeare

It seems to me that nearly every woman I know wants a man who knows how to love with authority. Women are simple souls who like simple things, and one of the simplest is one of the simplest to give. ... Our family airedale will come clear across t

Williams H.H.

The mind is its own place, and in itself Can make a Heav'n of Hell, a Hell of Heav'n.

Williams Robin

Inglish Spocken Hier: some mangled translations Various signs in Poland: Right turn toward immediate outside. Go soothingly in the snow, as there lurk the ski demons. Five o'clock tea at all hours. In a men's washroom in Sidney:

Williams Tennessee

In the first place, God made idiots; this was for practice; then he made school boards.

Williams Robin

All men know the utility of useful things; but they do not know the utility of futility.

Williamson Ren'e de Visme

Nothing succeeds like excess.

Williamson Nicol

If you only have a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail.

Williamson Dr. Paul

Many enraged psychiatrists are inciting a weary butcher. The butcher is weary and tired because he has cut meat and steak and lamb for hours and weeks. He does not desire to chant about anything with raving psychiatrists, but he sings about his gin

Willie Sutton

You can observe a lot just by watching.

Wills Derek

"Elves and Dragons!" I says to him. "Cabbages and potatoes are better for you and me."

Wilson Earl

I am America's child, a spastic slogging on demented limbs drooling I'll trade my PhD for a telephone voice.

Wilson Earl

question = ( to ) ? be : ! be;

Wilson Edmund

I wish there was a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence. There's a knob called "brightness", but it doesn't seem to work.

Wilson Woodrow

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve immortality through not dying.

Wilson Robert

A man's house is his castle.

Win Sir

"I don't mind going nowhere as long as it's an interesting path."

Winch Marty

You can't expect a boy to be vicious till he's been to a good school.

Winchell Walter

A fool's brain digests philosophy into folly, science into superstition, and art into pedantry. Hence University education.


The big cities of America are becoming Third World countries.

Winkle R.V.

With all the talent around, it's sort of amazing that a woman could be up here with us.


A woman who is unfaithful deserves to be shot.


TO THOSE OF YOU WHO DESIRE IT, I GRANT YOU MADRAK'S BLESSING: Insofar as I may be heard by anything, which may or may not care what I say, I ask, if it matters, that you be forgiven for anything you may have done or failed to do which requires for

Winters George

A committee is a group that keeps the minutes and loses hours.

Winters Shelley

The Law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich, as well as the poor, to sleep under the bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread.


It is difficult to produce a television documentary that is both incisive and probing when every twelve minutes one is interrupted by twelve dancing rabbits singing about toilet paper.


You can get much further with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.


Two wrongs don't make a right, but they make a good excuse.

Wo Sir Henry

Comparing information and knowledge is like asking whether the fatness of a pig is more or less green than the designated hitter rule."

Wodehouse Sean O'Casey on P.G.

It is the business of the future to be dangerous.

Wolfe Nero

No problem is so formidable that you can't just walk away from it.

Wolfe Nero

"I wonder", he said to himself, "what's in a book while it's closed. Oh, I know it's full of letters printed on paper, but all the same, something must be happening, because as soon as I open it, there's a whole story with people I don't know yet

Wolfe Thomas

Circumstances rule men; men do not rule circumstances.

Wolfe Gene

Once the toothpaste is out of the tube, it's hard to get it back in.

Wolfe Nero

Jesus may love you, but I think you're garbage wrapped in skin.

Wood Grant

When the blind lead the blind they will both fall over the cliff.

Woody Allen

It has long been noticed that juries are pitiless for robbery and full of indulgence for infanticide. A question of interest, my dear Sir! The jury is afraid of being robbed and has passed the age when it could be a victim of infanticide.

Woody Allen

The Least Successful Equal Pay Advertisement In 1976 the European Economic Community pointed out to the Irish Government that it had not yet implemented the agreed sex equality legislation. The Dublin Government immediately advertised for an equal

Woody Allen

In the plot, people came to the land; the land loved them; they worked and struggled and had lots of children. There was a Frenchman who talked funny and a greenhorn from England who was a fancy-pants but when it came to the crunch he was all courag


The first rule of intelligent tinkering is to save all the parts.

Wright Frank Lloyd

If a fool persists in his folly he shall become wise.

Wright Frank Lloyd

Necessity has no law.

Wright Frank Lloyd

Catharsis is something I associate with pornography and crossword puzzles.

Wurster Hall

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She ran the gamut of emotions from 'A' to 'B'.
Hepbur Dorothy Parker

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