I am a deeply superficial person.

Mind! I don't mean to say that I know, of my own knowledge, what there is particularly dead about a door-nail. I might have been inclined, myself, to regard a coffin-nail as the deadest piece of ironmongery in the trade. But the wisdom of our ances

She cried, and the judge wiped her tears with my checkbook.

Politics is the ability to foretell what is going to happen tomorrow, next week, next month and next year. And to have the ability afterwards to explain why it didn't happen.

If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.

We are all worms. But I do believe I am a glowworm.

If I have to lay an egg for my country, I'll do it.

The true Southern watermelon is a boon apart, and not to be mentioned with commoner things. It is chief of the world's luxuries, king by the grace of God over all the fruits of the earth. When one has tasted it, he knows what the angels eat. It wa

I always had a repulsive need to be something more than human.

There's nothing worse for your business than extra Santa Clauses smoking in the men's room.