If the colleges were better, if they really had it, you would need to get the police at the gates to keep order in the inrushing multitude. See in college how we thwart the natural love of learning by leaving the natural method of teaching what each

It has long been noticed that juries are pitiless for robbery and full of indulgence for infanticide. A question of interest, my dear Sir! The jury is afraid of being robbed and has passed the age when it could be a victim of infanticide.

Education is learning what you didn't even know you didn't know.

Never promise more than you can perform.

If I had a plantation in Georgia and a home in Hell, I'd sell the plantation and go home.

Never invest your money in anything that eats or needs repainting.

If the path be beautiful, let us not ask where it leads.

There is no doubt that my lawyer is honest. For example, when he filed his income tax return last year, he declared half of his salary as 'unearned income.'

Look, we trade every day out there with hustlers, deal-makers, shysters, con-men. That's the way businesses get started. That's the way this country was built.

Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. My advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.